 Oh, here we are again and I'm wearing the same sweater. Okay, I, oh God, I'm wearing pajama pants. I'm always wearing pajama pants. I'm always wearing pajama pants. If you see me from here up, I'm always wearing pajama pants. So I wanna yell a little bit, not really. I'm not gonna yell. We're just gonna talk. So I started this channel because of my gap year and I've made a bunch of videos on the topic of gap years and there have been things that I've like cut out of my videos just because of like time, not because I wasn't like, I don't know. Like it just wasn't like pertinent to that video or I felt like I was like being too weird about it or like too emo, so I cut it out. So this video is just like basically all of my unfiltered thoughts about gap years, which my other videos like they're, I'm not like devaluing them because I mean every single word in those other videos. So if you need one more person to convince you to take one, it's your girl, sitting right here, sitting right here. Hi, are you an over thinker? Do you take yourself way too seriously? Are you worried about your career, but you're only 17? Let's talk. I kinda wanna talk about like a bunch, I don't know, I kinda wanna talk about a bunch of things. This video is gonna be like more me talking so I'm gonna try and get to the point because oftentimes when I'm editing these videos, it's like Jesus Christ, like just stop, you gotta calm down. You just, so I have been on my gap year now for, what feels like almost a year, but that's just COVID, but I took off school in the summer, I made that decision because of COVID. Sometimes I kind of feel weird saying that I made the decision to take a gap year because technically I did, but if COVID wasn't here, like I never would have made this decision, which is so upsetting, like it's so upsetting to me that I never would have made this decision. So if you're watching this and you like aren't even thinking about a gap year, you should think about it, you should think about it. And you can go watch my videos, like I have more like structured videos and like 10 reasons, you know, 10 things to do on your gap year, 10 things, you know, to think about before you take your gap year and this video is like not really that. So it's just sort of like me like ranting and raving about my gap year experience. Yeah, I've been on my gap year for however many months and like it's COVID, so it hasn't been like amazing. Like I'm not gonna sit here and be like, this has been the best year of my life because like it's probably been like one of the worst years of my life. And I think that most people would say that 2020 and 2021 this part is like pretty bad. So I think that I don't know if it's like a mixture between like COVID and taking a gap year, but I have reevaluated so much of my life and how I value my life coming like forward. And I'm sorry, there's construction noise. I have always been a person my whole entire life. Like I'm a worrier. I worry about the future. I worry about right now, I worry about the past. I worry about everything. And that's not necessarily like a trait that I'm like proud of. I'm not like, yes, I worry. Okay, I'm gonna finish the video over here because there's too much construction noise. But I don't know if this is like just like COVID or if it's taking a year off, but it's really like made me like, it's forced me to sort of like step back and like evaluate what like I want out of life. Not just what I want in a career and what I want out of school and what I want out of like future school. And like I'm not saying that I don't want those things. Like I definitely like I want to go to grad school. Like I want to go back to school but that's not all that I want. Like, you know what I mean? Like I think that we're oftentimes like on this track. And I don't know if it's like a generational thing because I don't know if and look, every generation has their problems. But I feel like so much, there's so much competition to get into good colleges nowadays. Like to like that aspect is just like, just like shove down your throat. Like, but from the second that you step foot in a high school, like people are asking you about like what honors classes you're taking, what APs? Like you're taking IB, like there's so, there's so much like noise surrounding school and like the competition of it and like getting into a good school and you know, picking a major that's gonna like make you money one day and like, oh my God, like it's just, it's so hard to think like with that. Like it's really just like it's hard to like take a minute and like take a breath. Like I remember, oh my God, there were so many days where in like my senior year of high school where I was like, I'm just like gonna fail. Like I'm just gonna be a failure at life. Like it just seems like I am not good enough. That's just the thing that's baffling. Like in the grand scheme of things, like I know I'm a smart person. You know, there's so much emphasis on like picking a major and like it just seems like a, like a life sentence. Like I had so many like existential crises. Like I thought I was gonna change my major a couple times like in college, which I actually ended up not changing it. And I really kind of fell in love with it my sophomore year. Like I don't have two parents who are like obsessed with the idea of like me being a doctor like me being an engineer. Like, well, first of all, I would fail out of college if I tried to be an engineer. It's like the systems that there are in schools and just the conversations that we have around college I think are just like, they're just a lot sometimes. Like that's, I don't know, because I think a lot of them are had with good intentions, but a lot of the time like the execution just leaves the person being like, I'm literally gonna fail at life. And it's like, it's very, it's like just like a very overwhelming time. I'm not like, I'm glad that I went to college when I did. And I'm like weirdly grateful because I think like, you know, we all try to like as human beings like we try to make the best out of situations. So like I am, I'm not saying I'm like grateful for the pandemic. Like, no, I'm not like, no, but I'm, I'm like, I'm grateful that it sort of like forced me to take a gap year because I wouldn't have taken one. And it like made me reevaluate like what I want out of life. And like I think that like maybe I want to take another gap year after college. So like if you're struggling and you're like, I don't know if I want to take a gap year. I have a bunch of other videos and there are more like concrete, like logical reasons to take one. The biggest like sell, and this was in an old video and I cut it out because I was like being really email about it. But if I am so, me the, I have been on my gap year. I haven't gone anywhere. I haven't done anything. I have an internship, which is like really cool. And I'm so grateful for that. But like in terms of like gap years, like when you think of someone doing that, like you think of, you know, months of travel and, you know, volunteer projects and like a cool adventure. But I have really spent it in my room. Like I literally spent it in my room, like here doing YouTube, which has been really, really fun. Like I really love doing YouTube. And I don't know if I would have had the courage to start it if I had just gone right into school. So I'm also grateful for that. Here, I have like weird email notes about this in case you're wondering. Life is short, but also long. So I think that's what a gap year has made me realize is like, I think that, you know, we're always told like life is short, like you gotta get to it. But I think that it's also made me realize that like life is very long. And like a year is like nothing. But it's also like, okay, this is my other note. This sort of goes along with this. So I wrote a year is nothing, but also everything. Like having a whole entire year, like that is that like, I feel like that fundamentally changes you as a person. Like having a year off, I think that everyone's gonna be affected by COVID too. Like having a year of COVID, like a year in plus, like that is all that, like if that's gonna change everybody, like maybe not, I don't know. It's changed me. Like I don't, I think I've been like so focused on like being, you know, a good student and getting like cool working opportunities. Like I haven't stopped to like slow down and like enjoy my youth. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. I'm very like, I'm like responsible. I'm like too responsible for my own good. And like, hi everyone. Thanks for watching to the end of this video. I sort of just rambled on for like 10 more minutes and that footage is just not useful. So yeah, I hope this video was helpful. It definitely got a little rambly in there, but I just wanted to say that the point, the point of this video is just that a lot of the noise has been eliminated from my life this year. So I don't know, take out as what you will because the noise is a lot louder up here, but yeah, from the outside world, you know, it's been pretty quiet. So I think that it gives you some time and space to think. So I think that was really just like the point of this. Thanks for watching. I post new videos every Monday and Thursday about Gap Your Life and vlogs and I have a really fun video that I'm planning for. Give this video a like and comment down below. You know, if you're on a gap year this year you know, I don't know what you've figured out from it. I don't know if I said anything in this video. Yeah.