 When the narcissist shoots themselves in the foot, when they inadvertently make a situation worse for themselves, when they do or say something, which causes problems for them, the narcissist often finds themselves in troubling situations as a result of their own actions. They harm their own cause. They cause themselves difficulty by doing something stupid or by making a silly mistake. They sabotage themselves. They become the author of their own misfortune. The narcissist targeted you because they knew that they had struck gold. They found something that was going to improve their lives. That is why they loved you. That is why they did everything they could to impress you. They were willing to do whatever was necessary to secure you because what you have is very valuable. They knew that you were going to be very beneficial to them. They knew that you were going to make their lives more convenient. So they went out of their way to get you. They manipulated you. They deceived you. They gave you a false impression. They made you believe that they wanted to build something with you. They were very arrogant and audacious. Which made you believe that they had something to offer you. As a result of their inflated egos, they also had a strong sense of entitlement. They believed that they were deserving of privileges and special treatment. And while they may not have shared anything with you, they made you believe that one day you would be rewarded for everything you do for them. They used future faking. They promised something about your possible future in order to get what they want from you in the present. And you trusted them. You believed that you were entering a mutual agreement. So you then decided to share your qualities and attributes with the narcissist. You decided to give them money or a place to stay. Because you saw it as an investment. You saw it as something that was eventually going to yield a worthwhile result. So you put all of your time and effort into the relationship. You fulfilled all of their demands. And the narcissist was eating it all up. They were having a great time. Living for free. Without ever thinking about how they were ever going to reciprocate what you had done for them. Because they never intended to anyway. They just saw it as a free ride. It was a benefit obtained at your expense. Without the usual cost or effort. It was an opportunity or advantage. That they received. Without doing anything to deserve it. Because of their arrogance and entitlement. They couldn't see why they would ever have to repay you. In their minds you should see it as a privilege to even be around them. Time is money. And they believe that they are always on the clock. They're always performing duties for you. Even though it may look like they're just sitting on the couch watching television. In their minds that's hard labor. So it demands compensation. And because they're so manipulative. Many people actually end up falling for this. They buy into this narrative that they owe the narcissist a living. That it is their responsibility to take care of them. Regardless of how they treat you. Because narcissists are just like big babies. They're just looking for someone to take care of them. They expect more from you. Than they expect from themselves. Because they're emotionally underdeveloped. They already know that they're at a disadvantage. So they need you to pick up the tab. They need you to compensate for their deficiencies. Even though it is not your responsibility to do so. The narcissist needs you more than you need them. It is very convenient for them to be with you. But they often end up doing or saying things. That jeopardizes everything you have shared with them. The narcissist will put you in a situation. Where there is a danger of loss, harm or failure. They will threaten and endanger you. As a means of getting what they want. They will gas like you. They will make up lies and turn people against you. They will do anything to get what they want from you. Because even though you have shared the best part of your life with them. It still isn't enough. The narcissist is never satisfied. They always want more. It's like the more you do for them. The more they want. And when you fail to meet the unrealistic expectations. They just become even more bitter and resentful towards you. Which they then use to justify how they treat you. But by doing this. They end up shooting themselves in the foot. They end up making you not want anything to do with them. Maybe you are a person who just wants peace. And the narcissist is bringing all of these problems into your life. Naturally, you are going to want to avoid them. But the narcissist will not take accountability for their actions. Instead, they will blame you. As they think that is going to help them to avoid any potential consequences. But it actually just makes the situation even worse. Because if they can't even own up to what they've done. There's no mutual understanding. It just pushes you away even more. But the narcissist puts themselves in situations. Where they can't just own up to their mistakes. When they inevitably screw things up. They have to blame you. They have to turn everyone against you. So if they were to come out and admit what they've done. It would affect how other people see them. It would damage their image of reputation. And there is nothing more important to the narcissist. Than how other people see them. That's what gets them supply. So they have to manage this false image at all costs. And they will even try to manipulate you into falling for this false image. Because it's either that. Or they lose their supply. And the false self dies. Which is like a physical death for the narcissist. Which is why in these situations. It will often seem like the narcissist is in a fight for their lives. Because they're fighting for their false self. They're trying to keep it propped up. But by bringing other people into this. And smearing your name. They do end up shooting themselves in the foot. Because now they can't return to you without looking like a fool. It wouldn't make any sense for them to return to someone. Who is crazy or abusive. Or whatever else they are saying that you are. So in most situations they will just disappear for a while. Until they finally return. With no accountability. They won't even talk about anything that happened. Or if they do. They will find a way to twist it on you. It's always going to be your fault. They're going to put you in difficult situations. And then blame you for it. While you're left to deal with the consequences of their actions. And they're never going to be grateful for anything you do for them. Which is why in these situations. You're better off just cutting your losses. You only have to look at the time you've spent with them. To realize where this is going. Look at how much time and money you have lost already. Things that you're never going to get back. The longer you stay with them. The more you're going to lose. The more problems you're going to accumulate. Let them shoot themselves in the foot. Don't take a bullet for the narcissist. Let them face the consequences of their own stupidity. And just avoid the conflict and drama. Remove yourself from the situation. And just gravitate towards peace and fulfillment. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonates with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate. My PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching Inquiries. You can email me at coach.narksurvivor.co.uk. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.