 CHAPTER 7 OF MAN'S WRITES OR HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT? COMPRISING DREAMS This is a LibreBox recording. All LibreBox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibreBox.org. MAN'S WRITES OR HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT? COMPRISING DREAMS BY ANNE DENTON CRIDGE DREAM NUMBER 7 My noble husband has just delivered himself of the following speech. There you are. Up again at midnight. Another dream, I suppose. Well, this is becoming quite a serious matter. You will forget your dreams if you don't write them down at once. Indeed, these are woman's rights, times with a vengeance, and no mistake. When I cannot rest in my bed at night without being disturbed by my wife in this manner, now I will give you a little of my mind. You are a dreamer, and nothing but a dreamer, and henceforth you may rise 50 times in the night, or you may set up all night to write your dreams if you choose. But you shall not do it at my cost. I believe in individual sovereignty. You shall go to some other room. All right, all right, my dear, amiable husband, I replied, with a good natured laugh, at the same time taking up my paper, pen, and ink, putting out the gas, and quietly making my way to the sitting room. So here I am, all alone, henceforth if I should have any more need to write in the night, here I will come at once, my dear, good, abused husband, rest in peace. But I must relate my dream in which I again found myself in the before mentioned city, and in a gentle man's dressing room, before a large mirror, which appeared to be led into the walls, and which reached from the top of the room to the floor, stood a little gentle man in his long night dress, his hair full of curled papers, for the quantity of paper greatly exceeded that of the hair. As I was noting the beautiful needlework that profusely trimmed his nightdress, in which, I perceived, had been done by his own delicate fingers, like the strange incongruity of dreams, there began to move into the room, one after another, a great number of gentle men in their long night dresses and abundant curled papers. As I stood on one side, I found that they were entering a large assembly dressing room, as large as the reception room of the White House. I observed, too, that on every side and down the center of this room were arranged, side by side, all necessary articles for a gentle man's dressing room, as if the contents of a few score of small ones, such as I had just seen, had been a consolidated, and rearranged with reference to the maximum of convenience and minimum of labor. What elegant nightdresses! I said to myself as they passed, and yet, though I admired them in the abstract, I felt something, I am sorry to say, akin to contempt for these gentle men whose forms they covered. One fat, gentle man so loaded down with avodoupois, as to suggest by his breathing, a little steam engine, the wonder of my childhood days, named Puffing Billy, came waddling along in a nightgown, having four ruffles round the lower portion, and tucks innumerable. He had very little hair. I then confidently believed that in half an hour every hair on his little head could have been counted. Each gentle man as he passed me, and seemed to be in his accustomed place, carried in his hand a pair of corsets and a long, black something that looked to me very like a horse tail. The corsets I could comprehend, but what were they going to do with these horses' tails? Then another puzzling feature of this strange scene was that, where they did not carry these appendages, they carried an arm full of toll, or sheep's will, or what looked to me very like these substances. By and by all seemed to have entered, for the doors were closed and those nightgowned, gentle men, attended by young men whom they called their servant boys, or dressing boys, prepared to dress. There was something in the countenances of these gentle men that impressed me very disagreeably. Almost invariably their skin was spotted with yellow, and, as a whole, looked dark, dried and unnaturally shriveled. Two exceptions to this rule were so grateful to my love of the beautiful that I lingered round about these two gentle men some time. These two I had observed on entering the room, as they carried no corsets in their hands, and the diameter of their waists suggested the idea that they would form models for the men of that world as excellent as the Venus de Medici does for the women of this world. But what a scene that dressing room, what a medley, what confusion of odors as the dressing progressed, of perfumes, grease, pomadom, powders, rouge, hair dye, and I know not what other substances for cleanliness and hygiene. A servant boy whom I had seen standing at the head of the room with a something in his hand, I had not observed what, here sounded a gong, and in an instant the hairdressing commenced. Then I perceived for what were designed the supposed horses' tails, also the toe, sheep's will, and several other strange, dark masses which had seemed wholly inappropriate for anything connected with the toilet, for though all these were mounted on the tops and backs of their little heads, making them look as if they had exchanged their own heads for those of horses, minus the dignity usually appertaining to those animals. Oh, sad sight, I said to myself, oh, terrible result of man's degradation. This gear on the head and its adjustment consumed considerable time, and as it progressed I felt a strange, stilled sensation caused, I presume, by the numerous odors of that assembly dressing room. Then twelve men entered the room caring before them on waders a number of small white cups, some containing white, others red or pink powder, also several small, broad-silvered knives and sundry tiny brushes. Ah, here comes the porcelainists, here are the porcelainists. I heard several voices exclaim with a pleased flutter, as with small brushes they were painting their eyebrows, simultaneously as they entered twelve gentle men took seeds together in the center of the room, twelve blotched, wrinkled, yellow faces. I looked at them, then at the twelve porcelainists, and then at the cups into which was being poured some liquid from a bottle. What can be the meaning of all this? I asked myself in astonishment, but the mystery was soon explained, for like magic the small knives in the hands of the porcelainists transferred the contents of the cups to the faces of the twelve gentlemen sitting in a row, over the forehead and cheeks. Over and round about the nose and close to the corner of the mouth went the knives, covering up ugliness, instantor. In ten minutes the twelve faces reminded me of the little porcelain dolls sold in our stores. You must not laugh or romp, dear gentleman, said one of the operators, you will mar your faces, guard against all emotions, as well. As against any other agency causing sudden and extreme movements of the features. For by allowing such movements or emotions you would cause the porcelain to crack and spoil it completely. Don't move, please, for a few minutes. It takes a little time for the porcelain, after being laid on the face, to dry thoroughly. Very obediently the twelve faces kept exactly in one position. During the operation quite a circle of half dressed gentlemen had gathered round. Beautiful, beautiful, I heard them exclaim. Sweet, pretty, said one, delightful, said another. But I thought, contemptuously, I would like to suspend you twelve between heaven and earth, as a spectacle to gods, to angels and to men. One of the beautiful, twelve, who evidently was suffering from a bad cold, here began to sneeze. Dear, dear, how he did sneeze. And as he sneezed the porcelain began to crack in several places, and small pieces fell to the floor. Oh, hideous sight, but hark! The gong sounds again, how I do hate a gong. And then a hundred corsets, embracing as many gentlemen's bodies, including the elect twelve, who were prudently conserving their new faces, were subjected to superlative pressure. Tight, tighter, and yet tighter were they compressed, until not only the faces of the attendant, servant boys, but those of the gentlemen being laced were read with the effort. As the lacing progressed the respiration became more difficult. But what next? The gong sounds again, dressing the feet. Why, the man calls out this as he might the figures of a dance. What absurdity there is in dream! Then I thought I was greatly puzzled while I wondered. I had not previously observed that some of these gentlemen wore on their feet, what, for want of a better name, I shall call a foot vice. This was a curious apparatus, with straps and buckles worn on the feet during the night for the purpose of molding the foot into a rounded form. This result had, in a few instances, been so completely obtained that the sides of the foot were rounded over and almost met on the other part of the foot. Of course those who had servant boys required them when dressing their feet. And when the foot vice had been used to servant boys were brought into requisition, one of whom kept the foot in its rolled condition while the other commenced to introduce the foot into the gator. This was a difficult feat, for it required a long time and several trials before completion. But I am weary, perhaps sleepy, so I shall not attempt to describe the numerous divisions of the toilet indicated by that terrible gong. The putting on of Greshan bins was one. May I never see such a sight again. No wonder that when dressed their coat tails projected at an angle of 45 degrees. Never shall I forget when the gong sounded for the false teeth to be introduced into the mouth. For it seemed in my dream that there came to me at the same moment the power to see and examine the internal organs of every gentleman present in all who wore corsets and there were only two gentlemen who did not. I saw that the five lower ribs were contracted and in some cases overlapped that the air cells in the lower part of the lungs were rendered inactive by compression and that in consequence of the sympathy existing between all organs of the body there was very observable either positive indications of disease or great weakness. One young gentleman who had been originally healthy I perceived was paralyzed in his right arm and very shortly would be paralyzed on one side of the body with the use of the foot vise and that the waist though originally of proper circumference was gradually approaching that of a wasp. Then as previously in a former dream I looked into the spirit saw the links connecting the body with the spirit and as by a glance was unable to go back in time by means of these links through several generations of ancestors carefully and accurately passed ancestral endowment physical moral and mental were compared with those before me especially where the correlations of parts observed and I perceived that it had come to be a fact indeed that those gentlemen at least were inferior to woman. Oh saddening realization. Oh poor silly butterfly man verily in this land man is inferior to woman thus was I sadly meditating when the scene changed and I found myself in the home of Mrs. Christiana this await with Mr. Johnny Smith and Mr. Sammy Smiley as her guests. Dear friend she said taking my hand I am very glad to see you. Do you know that I am a convert to man's rights? You I exclaimed with great astonishment. Yes I am convinced that the demands of man's rights society are founded in nature but how has this come to pass. I inquired I will tell you dear friend she replied as she took a chair near me still retaining my hand in her own. You remember the sheep man yellow green protest also the delirium protest certainly very well I read them over carefully and was dissatisfied I saw that they would not bear the light of day for an instant then I tried to find better reasons for denying to men their claimed rights I gave my best thoughts and attention to the subject and to make a long story short as the result of that thought here I am a thorough believer in man's rights so you see the sheep man yellow green protest and delirium protest have done more good in one case at least than the silly men who pinned it ever conceived I commence to express my delight at the change in her sentiments when she remarked but you are very sad my friend you show it in every lenient of your face then I thought in my dream that I related all I had witnessed in the assembly dressing room dwelling very minutely on the peculiar and diversified ancestral endowments handed down from generation to generation and the culture of expression these had received in each and finally the conclusions forced upon me of the real inferiority of man to woman don't be cast down dear friend replied Christiana this await you have only chance to meet some of the worst specimens of our man this class of men does not represent more than one fiftieth of the male sex you must know that this is a large country composed of many races some inferior but many superior these you have visited our only one race and a very small race the fashionable race and I am glad truly glad of their foot vices their cosmetics paints powders and porcelain for they all form such powerful brain vices and life annihilators that in less than a century every one of their descendants will be swept from the face of our planet inferior races must give place to superior and I thank our father for this beautiful law as she finished she led me into a large handsome room in which were gathered probably two hundred persons of both sexes now use your soul gift dear friend she said and tell me of this race of men and women I did so I comprehended the capacities of each brain of each spirit and then walked down the aisles of time for many generations of ancestors defined the physical mental and spiritual heritage that had passed from generation to generation with the added culture or repression of such heritage and contrasted these results in the male sex with the results obtained by the same means in the female sex and as I followed from cause to effect from added growth to added growth there came to my own spirit a blessed piece here was no inferiority no retrogression but in characters in a face of all were written for both man and woman possibilities and capabilities as far transcending the present as those of the present transcended those of the long ago even a million of ages end of dream number seven Chapter 8 of man's rights or how would you like it comprising dreams this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org man's rights or how would you like it comprising dreams by Annie Denton Cridge dream number eight not to the planet Mars did my dream take me this time but on board a sailing vessel just entering New York Bay very foggy it had been for days but the clouds having just lifted to my delightful eyes were revealed the shores of Staten Island and the other components of the brilliant two ensembla greeting the Voyager as he approached the metropolitan cities which bounded the distance my husband and I had for years been in some remote corner of the earth where we had never received any news either of home friends or country but where that out of the way place could have been situated impenetrable not only to telegraph and post but beyond the reach even of our own correspondent I could not remember in vain I tried to recall its name and locality or even the least incident which had befallen us in our long exile the years we had spent there were all a blank however I did know that our home was in New York City and that very soon we should be there in vain did I interrogate my husband as to where we had been he only looked wonderingly in my face laughed heartily several times and said I really cannot remember all I know is that we have been gone from the United States ten years and that shortly we shall be again in New York City yonder is a tugboat he continued pointing to one evidently making for us I am very anxious to hear the news oh to get the sight of a New York paper once more how vividly do I remember this part of the dream how recall every moment of time and every feature of the beautiful scene before us land land once more bringing thoughts of home joyous expectations of meeting dear friends from whom we had been long separated and all the palpitating expectancy that seemed to make my whole being throb with delight by and by the tugboat reached us and my husband realized his millennium by feasting his eyes on a New York paper in his haste to obtain which he came very near falling overboard a newspaper man to his very bones his existing for so many years without access to that seeming necessary of life had been to me a mystery almost as great as would have been a fish living a like period without water dare to fall sacre tonnayre vast east plus our Dom's exclaimed he facetiously as his eyes scan to the contents what changes ten years have brought about a lady president three months in office and yet the world goes around as usual I rather expect to see when we get to the city that the people are walking on their heads the world must be turned upside down you mean that ten years has turned the world right side up with care just as you like he replied with a good natured smile but I was never more astonished in my life there must be Congress women then I said as a feeling of wholesome pride was born into my soul women were something after all how distinctly I remember the feeling of importance that leaped into existence within me and that remains with me at this moment though I now know that it was only a dream then my husband handed me the paper read for yourself he said nearly one half of the United States Senate and fully one half of the house are women then he laughed rubbed his hands stood on his feet lifted his hat and said to me as he bowed profoundly I salute you dear madame in deference to the glorious achievement of woman may she never descend from the height to which she has attained I thank you I replied in the name of every woman oh I no more want to be a man but rejoice that I am a woman hurrah for our side of the house replied my merry husband then he looked around saying how I wish that tugboat would hurry up no more ten years spent in confounded what is the name of that place strange that I can't recollect when I was always so ready with names and locations is my brain softening or what can be the trouble well no matter what it is we will live henceforth in the United States and die there too when it comes to that better fifty years of Europe than a cycle of Cathay we reach here just in time to enjoy the woman government and observe its constituent parts all in my dream was very consistent until we landed on the wharf and then like the craziness of dreams no surprise was expressed or felt on finding it suddenly midnight and myself and husband just afterward walking up Broadway as leisurely as if it had been a pleasant afternoon in October by and by we looked up and saw a number of men approaching they filled the sidewalk so we stepped aside under a lamp and saw them pass all were evidently in charge of policemen several were handcuffed and acting like mad men more and yet more past us so that we could hardly walk a block without being compelled to step aside which we always did near a lamp post what does this mean I asked my husband it means I suppose woman's government oh stop your nonsense I replied laughing adding I believe the inmates of some lunatic asylum are being removed perhaps to another asylum all this time we were scanning the faces of the gentlemen for they were all gentlemen as they passed under the gaslight then my husband recognized several whom he had formerly known one of whom Mr. Blank was a senator when we left ten years previously I almost gave his name but that wouldn't do there were two Reverend gentlemen but I must be still more circumspect in regard to names because in case of an action for slander their congregations would fee so many lawyers that I should certainly get the worst of it besides which I should lose the good opinion of the religious press which to me is very dear besides I might even be suspected of heterodoxy which would be terrible but rare known a no mutton even if they are black sheep with possibly a sprinkling of goats it was a strange scene for all classes of men appeared to be represented not only the lowest or those on whose countenances the mark of the beast was distinctly imprinted but also the respectable the religious and even the intellectual and cultivated men were there with fine countenances and with heads that phrenologists would have declared those of statesmen and philosophers but why were such men accompanied by policemen why these wholesale arrests all at once I exclaimed oh dear there see dear good elder Stiggins oh dear a policeman has him handcuffed save save him husband I did not however wait for my husband to do anything but rushed into the crowd there is some mistake I exclaimed oh dear dear elder Stiggins taking his hand in my own but the crowd pushed on and with difficulty did I make my escape then my dream without any connecting link landed me in a comfortable room in a large hotel on a table near my husband was a large collection of newspapers evidently a file extending back some years he was greedily devouring them scanning one after another and then throwing them on the floor to make way for their successors by and by he began to laugh how he did laugh what is the matter I asked tell me what is it excellent good first rate happy thought well tell me what is it then he tried to smooth his face and answer why it appears that one of the first acts of both houses of Congress after the inauguration of president blank was to pass a law providing that henceforth in the district of Columbia no woman prostitute should be arrested find imprisoned sent to Magdalene asylums for reformation or otherwise molested but that all laws punishing prostitution in women should from and after the passage of the act be enforced against their male companions a similar law was soon afterward passed in the state of New York the Washington authorities however regarded it only as a huge joke intended by congressmen for electioneering effect among their lady constituents I have not yet reached any information as to its enforcement in this state then he again vigorously betook himself to a fresh installment of newspapers and having ground up a dozen or so in his mental mill fastened on another they intend the law to go into effect here he remarked three large houses for the reformation of prostitute men are being built as he said this he handed me the newspaper and pointed out the heading three large houses being built for the reformation of prostitute men male Magdalene's we laugh my dear I said because it is novel but there is justice and wisdom in the law yes he replied that is obvious but why do they not execute the law I observed that other papers characterize the article in question as purely sensational and utterly without foundation in fact I see it all I know it all now I exclaimed for as a flash of lightning did the whole dawn upon my understanding the law had been put in force that night and we had seen some of the victims instantly my spirit was in rapport with the whole machinery and its operation the mayor of the city of New York was a lady the common council was largely composed of ladies the board of aldermen was no more for it was alder women now and in the city detective service the ability of women to keep secrets as well as to find them out had been extensively tested this first descent had been planned for some days but even the press had been kept ignorant of the proposed measure with the exception above mentioned tonight the police had pounced on the sinners and not as of your the sinned against and the surprise was complete what a man I had been to rush to the police when I saw Mr. Stiggins in their custody I thought but then why be ashamed of a good impulse from police station to police station all over the city I seemed to go without the fatigue usually attendant on locomotion what sites I beheld and what sound I heard coaxing and bribery of policemen were attempted without result cursing swearing and threatening were equally futile the law enacted that the name of every man thus taken should be advertised in the newspapers of the town city or county in which the arrests should be made also that a large blackboard should be hung daily on the outside of every police station where on should be conspicuously recorded the names of the culprits brought to such station this I saw was the lash that cut them in anticipation of which the majority wind like whipped curves one stout handsome gentleman with his hands in his pockets and looking up from a sort of brown study seemingly of the floor or of his book but really of his situation said well gentlemen we are finally sold it is an unpleasant piece of business didn't smart women's wits have outwitted us every one that paper was right if the others did call it sensational wood hull and Klaflin's weekly was right it took women to keep it quiet and women to find it out diamond cut diamond I wonder how many and who of us will be sent to those houses for the confirmation of prostitute men the majority of his hearers laughed but were nevertheless greatly perplexed and annoyed just think he continued of our names being in every paper tomorrow morning oh ye gods and little fishes our wives our lady loves our families think gentlemen of the long list of names that will tomorrow ornament every police station show yourselves appreciative of the loving kindness of the corporation in supplying us with so large an amount of gratuitous advertising perhaps for a trifling fee they would also allow us to exhibit our business cards on the blackboard in juxtaposition with our respective names we are in for it gentlemen and no mistake and seeing we must advertise willy-nilly let us get all we can for the money we can after all make this thing pay if we work it right confound the women exclaimed an old gray-headed gentleman who was standing on the right hand of the speaker we might have known how it would be if ever the women got the law into their own hands I beg the gentleman's pardon said a third gentlemen but I don't see how we could have known that women would have turned the tables on us so nicely but I suppose it is all right we have got free so far while the poor women were made to suffer all the shame and disgrace tonight we have chance to see how we like it that is so with a vengeance said another yes we are caught in a fine trap exclaimed a fifth in one station house 17 gentlemen had just arrived one of whom was bitterly denouncing petticoat government we were fools ever to give the wretches any power finally we are paid off for our chivalry it seems to me said a young fellow on whose face was a reckless don't care expression that tonight against our wills we are made to act a little of our chivalry some laughed aloud but more implicated interiorly then the voice I first heard of the 17 resumed here we are tonight looking like a set of whipped curves over the cunning crafty women I tell you gentlemen a woman in craft equals the old gentlemen below with horns and hooves see how astutely they have worked the machine the law a dead letter until today as we confidingly trusted that it would so remain then as in a steel trap we are secured in its iron grasp oh nothing can equal a woman serves us right gentlemen for giving them power some cursed and swore for very madness while others said they did not care as their names were of no consequence but remarked another perhaps the houses for the reformation of male prostitutes may be of consequence shrugging his shoulders suggestively then again in my dream there was a chasm of time not bridged over either by events or memory it was morning early morning and the news boys were calling out the prostitute act enforced 1000 arrests they reaped as might well be supposed a most liberal harvest what crowds gathered around the police station to read the names there came to me at that moment not only the power to float from house to house from building to building but a sort of omnipresence that enabled me to see the whole effect of the late movement and what in that respect was being said and done in every part of the city at one station I was amused to hear a man with a deep strong voice calling out the names as he read them from the blackboard for the edification of the crowd occasionally a name was greeted with a general laugh or exclamation of surprise while as I passed through the crowd I heard or shall I say saw exclamations unuttered such as is it possible that name astonishing surprising etc etc around the newspaper offices were such large crowds that to keep order the policemen placed them in a double file those in the rear or outside would frequently offer large prices for the place of someone in front so as to make sure of the coveted intelligence and avoid delay the presses being quite unable to keep pace with the unusual demand all were eager to see the names of the suddenly famous one thousand and the telegraph operator had been busy ever since two in the morning transmitting names and other particulars of the enforcement of the law I beheld to the astonishment of heads of police when the morning paper was looked over and headings like these met the eye the prostitute act in forced over one thousand arrests preachers and publicans Pharisees and pugilists divies and Lazarus all in a heap saints and sinners senators and slop sellers black spirits and white blue spirits and gray mingle mingle mingle ye that mingle may and now there's the devil to pay I perceived to in the minds of almost everyone men as well as women the justice of the proceeding was recognized it needed woman to administer justice I heard a gentleman say to his wife at the breakfast table the late act has attracted the attention of thousands of earnest and influential people to this subject who have never before seriously thought on it these poor women were liable at any time to be pounced on by policemen dragged to the station house sent to prison or houses of reformation perhaps heavily find and there was no one to help them or save them from disgrace to avoid these arrests they were compelled to bribe the police and others to pay very high prices for board in order to compensate those who boarded them for the risk incurred of police descents etc to meet these enhanced expenses and avoid arrest these women were compelled to prostitute themselves far more and sink into deeper degradation thus the practical working of the law tended to greatly increase the evil while it's real supporters the men were scarcely ever molested poor things said the wife oh so tenderly and perhaps the majority of them were led into their life of shame because corrupt men caused their ruin in the first place this dream of mine includes such a long period of time so great a variety of incident and has already taken so much space for its narration that I must listen to the close imagination must fill up the scenes enacted in the courtrooms to which the prisoners were brought for examination and disposal there was no sham about it no halfway measures the character and history of each prisoner was thoroughly investigated and those proved to be habitually licentious were duly sent to the houses of reformation for such characters into these houses women's shrewdness and good sense had entered for they were not prisons nor were there inmates told that they were lost degraded sinful polluted beings but they were instructed in physiology in the consequences of use and abuse of every organ of the body on the holiness of love and the sanctification of the coming together of the sexes when legitimized by holy and godlike motives in my dream I visited four of those houses which had been built and furnished at public expense they were indeed and truth houses of reformation and their inmates were treated as diseased patients not as miserable sinners then my spirit realized how much more efficient for good in this instance had been woman's wisdom then man's much boasted intellect and while thus thinking thinking thinking how woman had cut the Gordian knot of the social evil the knot which man feared even to touch I awoke and to my astonishment found it was all a dream that we had no woman president no woman legislators and that the social evil remained as here to four the great moral ulcer of the nineteenth century that the very laws enacted under a pretense of suppressing it were really aggravating its worst evils inflicting the greatest curse on man in the very act of perpetrating the greatest injustice on unfortunate and defenseless women and I said would that our legislators had the wisdom thus to grapple with the vexed question or are women the power as they had in my dream to strike at the root of the evil by shielding the victim and enlightening the wrong doer and of dream number eight after nine of man's rights or how would you like it comprising dreams this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Anita Sloma Martinez man's rights or how would you like it comprising dreams by Annie Denton Cridge dream number nine if a woman grow a cabbage and take it to the market she sells it for just as much money as would a man had he grown the cabbage this I said to myself as I passed through the market yesterday and saw a woman selling cabbages I bought one of hers for fifteen cents are you from the country I asked yes indeed she replied pleasantly I am a widow but I have a nice garden spot where I grow my cabbages potatoes and other things for market you spade your garden plant your seed and do all the work yourself yes indeed have you children I have two little fellows but they are not old enough to help me any you are a farmer then a not exactly she replied laughing but I have two cows I have customers for my butter here in the city then I have an apple orchard only a little one I have rented just now three acres of land near my place so next year I will have potatoes a good many to sell and I said you will sell your vegetables for just as much money as would a man oh yes she replied and so you have woman's rights that is so that is so she said with a laugh yes yes woman's rights I walked away meditating I meditated all the way home and now I have had a dream which I believe was the result of that woman her cabbages and my meditations there upon I am compelled however to confess that this dream which I am about to relate was not given to me in the nighttime it came to pass that when I arrived at home with my cabbage and marketing I was so tired and sleepy that I laid down on the sofa in the parlor and went sound asleep yes I have slept three hours have just woke and must now make haste and write my dream before my husband comes home from the office I dreamed that I was flying or rather floating through the air is it not a delightful feeling how happy it makes one feel to dream of flying well it seemed to me that I was high in the air flying rapidly hamlets villages towns and cities also the vast expanse of field meadow wood river and lake were spread out as a map to my delighted gaze but oh the smoking dirty cities as I passed over them something drew me to descend not that I so desired but that the collective magnetic forces of the human beings there in a mirrored deprived me not only of the power but in a great degree of the disposition to resist so I came near enough to the surface to view the dark alleys the narrow streets the dark brick walls of houses huddled together and I long to fly from them and again behold the beautiful country but I was compelled to linger in each city and visit hundreds of places of which I had never seen every garret seller workshop or work room in which poor half paid working women toiled but I found very few indeed of such individuals what could this mean then millinery stores fancy stores and all other stores were visited but the number of women employed was really very small and those few had not that pallid underpaid overworked look usually characteristic of women in such positions mystery of mysteries I said to myself who does all the slop work of those great cities who make the shirts drawers etc. who does the tailor work we have heard so much about women doing for a mere pittance then with a rapidity much greater than that of flying I seem to visit the homes and places of business of those who did that work but low it was principally done by men and boys there were women certainly but few very few compared with the number which I suppose were employed on such work what has become of the women I asked myself has the race of woman tailors died out are they all married and so have husbands to provide for them no answer came so into hotels jewelry stores telegraph offices paint shops where I knew that the advocates of women's rights should be almost exclusively employed I looked but found scarcely any women there into counting houses brokers offices and banks I looked and though in these latter I found some women looking quite vigorous and contented women were by no means in the majority well perhaps they had all gone into law physics and divinity so after considerable search I found a few doctors and lawyers offices scattered here and there but the occupation of that class of people seemed to be gone to a considerable extent there were not one-tenth the number I expected to find but about half the lawyers and three-fourths of the few doctors remaining for women as to the pulpit I couldn't exactly understand it for many of the churches had been turned into lecture rooms others had been fitted up as unitary homes some had become polytechnic institutions and schools of science and many of the tall steeples were transformed into observatories for the people in about half of the churches however preaches were grinding away as usual and about one-fourth of these were women it rejoiced me greatly to find banks wholly conducted by women who were also to a large extent proprietors of stores and seemed not to be excluded from any occupation still the majority of business people were men it was evident that but a small proportion of women were employed in business and that the number of persons employed in what are called the professions was so few that the disappearance of women from so many employments could not be accounted for in that way what had become of the great surplus population of poor working women was it possible that their work had been taken from them and given to the men and boys who seemed to fill their places then sorrow came into my soul and I said alas alas it would seem that tens of thousands of women must be out of employment must be starving who did manage to live if ever so poorly by the labor of their hand at least seventy five or ninety percent of these women must be starving then I remembered a book entitled apocatastasis or progress backwards how I had laughed at the idea of progress backwards but did not this look very much like apocatastasis it would take too much space to detail all my wanderings through that and many other cities all over the continent it will be sufficient to state that from Maine to Texas and from Florida to Alaska what is now woman's usual work in cities was nearly all done by men had women all become wealthy it was evident that they had not taken all the lucrative employments once monopolized by men then the scene changed and I found myself walking along the sidewalk of that city like other mortals I was pondering on what I had learned and was feeling very sad by and by I lifted my eyes which in my gloom had been cast on the sidewalk and low in every direction large bills met my eye headed with the words fifty years ago semi centenary and festival across the street were large banners as we see on election days in commemoration of some great event on these were the same words with appropriate emblems and devices flags of all sizes were hung out of the windows and carried by little boys and girls in the streets all having the same or similar models on one of these large banners was represented on the left a sickly starving woman sewing and shivering in a garret beside her was a coffin containing a dead infant the pointers of the clock indicated midnight under this were the words fifty years ago on the right of the same banner were represented groups of beautiful healthy intelligent women and children gathering fruit and flowers in the bright sunlight this picture was entitled today most of the banners and flags were graced by the faces of two noble earnest beautiful ladies but no names were given and only the words fifty years ago replied to my many questions as to the meaning the bells rang joyously and bands of music were in almost every street but neither drum nor cannon brought back memories of war the beautiful the joyous and the free were manifested in every countenance maidens and matrons boys and girls gentlemen and intelligent women all participated in this celebration but I could not learn from any of them what was its meaning all seemed so fully occupied with their destination by and by the street cars came along fluttering all over with small flags on which were these same words fifty years ago the cars were labeled for the festival then rattled along the street two carriages in which were seen the beaming faces of ladies and gentlemen and smiling children and flags fluttering with the same words fifty years ago slowly patiently with the crowd of pedestrians I moved along in the direction as the carriages and cars which frequently passed me decked out with those magic words all at once I found myself approaching a magnificent pavilion large enough to hold tens of thousands of people what large and beautiful flags were inferred to the breeze leaves and flowers were everywhere made to repeat in wreaths those predominant words and it seemed as the very atmosphere multiplied and repeated in each constituent action the words fifty years ago I entered the pavilion and beheld a site which for beauty and magnificence I never saw equaled never while life may last shall I forget this part of my dream verily it was a paradise far surpassing any that Adam and Eve ever beheld here was gathered all the beauty belonging to the vegetable kingdom here fruits flowers spreading branches and crossing vines were woven into a thousand floral arches over our heads formed into summer bowers grottoes shady walks secluded retreats there were miniature lakes waterfalls fountains fishponds that surprised and delighted my eyes here were gathered specimens of all flowers edible fruits grains and vegetables grown in the United States ladies only ladies presided over all this wealth of beauty then I looked up and beheld in letters of living flowers and vines these words women's agricultural fair I looked at the beautifully executed design and many times repeated to myself the words women's agricultural fair this is the most beautiful place I remarked to an old gentleman who was leaning on his staff looking up and about him evidently feasting his eyes yes grand grand observed the old man will you inform me I asked what is the meaning of this festival or how it originated he appeared astonished at my question but soon showed by his countenance that he had decided me to be an earnest you are a stranger I see he replied well this is called the women's agricultural fair because everything you behold here no matter what has been grown by women agriculturists it is this year combined with the semi-centennial festival for the following reasons fifty years ago a large surplus population of poor toiling women crowded our cities while the land was not one quarter cultivated causing on the one hand high prices for provisions and on the other low prices for labor from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath today that large class of women who have no family duties and no husbands to provide for them are in the country and they are no longer poor but are saving money besides these unmarried women in widows there are larger numbers of married women in the country many of them with families carrying on farms their husbands remaining in the city for a few years in order to get money to pay for and improve their farms and furnish their homes with requisites for comfort culture and refinement in this way our cities are but little overstocked either by working men or working women for just as soon as their farms are paid for and sufficiently improved the men too go to their farms and remain there before us played a fountain of water in the center of a miniature lake in the depths of which beautiful salmon sported and on its surface waterfowl were swimming and diving from its banks were reflected orange and fig trees lemon trees and grape vines all laden with fruit and kindly shading the old man as he sat in a rustic chair take a seat he said pointing to one near him take a seat we may as well rest while we talk how at this moment I recall that spot what beauty what wide spreading branches what luscious fruit hung all about us now said the old man as he rested his two hands on his stick let me tell you how all this has come to pass I would like it if you please 50 years ago today the first woman's agricultural convention was held the call was made by two brave beautiful women who had made a business of agriculture for 10 years there are their portraits he said as he pointed with his stick through an avenue of trees by and by you can go and take a near view they will bear close criticism one of them has passed to the farther shore but the other is still in the physical body ah you ought to see her she is very old but beautiful so beautiful she seems to have absorbed into herself the essence of the fruits and flowers and natural beauties which she so devotedly loves her eyes are blue and her face beams with goodness and intelligence she can make a speech as well as ever though she is now 87 years of age well these two ladies as I said had made agriculture a business for 10 years having tested the matter to their own satisfaction they resolved to urge others particularly women to adopt the same business every winter both of them left their farms for a month or two to lecture on agriculture for a woman thus others join them and in a few years numbers of women had secured land for themselves and had engaged in its culture to great advantage to make a long story short it came to pass that just 50 years ago today the first woman's agricultural convention was held I was there the best hall in the city was secured and there was a large attendance many women were on the platform who owned their farms and houses and they really made some excellent speeches abounding with eloquence and logic for they were both experienced and earnest in their plans for redeeming woman from poverty and probation how well I remember some of the ideas advanced by one of them we tillers of the soil she said have discovered the great royal road to wealth and independence for women on this platform are 35 ladies who have demonstrated in their own lives that agriculture is women's work just as much as it is man's work those ladies own farms and houses cows and horses of their own then turning round and I believe every one of you has money in the bank you are healthy you are happy and this has been done not in your miserable cities not in Garrett's not for cheating slop shops but by each person in independence how she did urge poor working women to go into the country if they only had just enough to take them there farming she continued with the machinery now at command is far easier and lighter than it was when we were children and it is only habit and tradition that causes it to be regarded as requiring great muscular power in general it is much easier work and far less exhaustive than cooking washing ironing or sewing especially in view of the accompaniments of fresh air and abundant food in the one case contrasted with foul air and semi starvation in the other at any rate if it is not easier we can do it as it pays better and fills our pockets and money is a great stimulant as well as country air beautiful scenery fruits flowers and singing birds I really believe I could remember most of her speech however she continued by informing the audience that she had purchased a large tract of land on which she could immediately employ 25 women and hoped that number would volunteer to go as she would pay them more wages than they could earn at any sort of sewing until they could purchase some of her land themselves after which she would rent to them at a low price various farming machinery so that they could work to the utmost advantage 57 volunteered at once 25 were selected all of whom succeeded a wonderful success I think the callers of the convention were so encouraged that more were held in various parts of the country and the movement rapidly grew into a power and it's adherence were numbered by hundreds of thousands all did not go into heavy farming many concentrated on grain culture as machinery enabled them to perform most of the labor with ease many made a specialty of fruit some of poultry and others grew rapidly rich by pisaculture some settled in Southern California cultivating oranges lemons nuts grapes peaches etc or raising silkworms while others profitably raised berries in the immediate vicinity of large cities finally they were caricatured by reckless half-starved half intoxicated bohemians always ready to sell their birthright of brains for a very small mess of potage and too lazy to work at any useful colleague editorial wise acres wrote labored articles to prove the utter futility and demoralizing tendency of any attempt by women to live by cultivating the soil the popular lecture said that a woman might as well attempt to keep a livery stable or a bullying alley or preempt 160 acres of land in the moon as to try to carry on farming that by attempting it women would become rough uncouth and masculine and no man who loved refinement and delicacy in woman would ever marry such etc etc etc etc I have two sisters who were left widows when quite young both with children after the deaths of their husbands they came home to father's house one had a little over a thousand and the other but three or four hundred dollars after many long talks as to what was best to be done for it was really a serious question with so many children they finally purchased for a thousand dollars ten acres of land on which was a small house they planted trees or rather paid a man to plant their fruit trees and then went to work to raise vegetables for the city market their children became every year more and more useful in ten years their success was complete they had a fine orchard of choice fruit a comfortable house and comodious family carriage their boys are grown and all of them farmers my sisters taught the girls the importance of being self-sustaining paid them for all work done by them in the garden or orchard and at twenty each girl owned a piece of land one of them however is now in the city with her husband and together they carry on a large mercantile business but he remarked I am afraid I shall tire you old age it is said tends to induce scruality not at all I am glad to hear you I replied oh it amused me he continued to see how the women have stolen a march on the men yes yes they have outwitted them you see we have a numerous race of dandies and would-be-do-nothings who prefer a good fit Morocco shoes gloved hands sidewalks and high brick houses to anything else in the world this race of men had fashionable mothers and equally silly fathers as thousands of children have today who are taught by their fathers and mothers that the preceding requisites are indispensable to respectability yes I rejoined and I am thinking of the little boys of whom mothers are saying today will your Johnny is going to be a lawyer a doctor or a preacher or a fine gentleman or he is going into business meaning the business of trying all the time to outwit somebody else and persuade somebody to put money in his pocket without an equivalent yes replied the old man and thus the supply of would-be-do-nothings exceeds the demand and hence the surplus of empty-headed little-brained dandies afraid of any business that would bring them within the class of mechanics these by the pressure of want are necessitated to fill the places once filled but now vacated by the very women who are now far removed from cities from poverty and from toil with the birds the flowers the trees and the beautiful of which they are a part and those shams of men fill their places in garrets and cellars nature has taken her children to her home and heart I remarked just so my friend he replied birds flowers hills rivers mountains running Brooks and women should never be separated there is he continued a feature of this agriculture for women that I should mention it is this you probably know that in all our large cities we had a superabundance of honest mechanics these having seen what women could do in the country concluded to try what men could do the experiment succeeded to that extent that the only surplus populations in our large cities today are the miserable weaklings I have before mentioned as having fashionable mothers who have little ability and less disposition to perform useful labor then I thought in my dream that I arose to leave and shaking hands with the old man thanked him for the pleasure his conversation had afforded then directed my steps to the portraits of the two noble women who were the first to originate any extensive movement replacing women on the land my whole being throbbed with happiness as I walked through the long avenue of trees trails and flowers and noted the hundreds of healthy happy women who presided over the specimens of their own culture barely woman has worked out her own salvation I said to myself the good time coming has surely come woman has planted herself on the soil she has health she has wealth and with these she has power self-salvation this is the rock on which she has built and not all the powers of hell shall prevail against it then I found myself in front of the two portraits which the old gentleman had pointed out to me while admiring them he came and introduced me to the surviving original a dear old lady whose hand I grasped with feelings akin to devotion with her hand yet grasped in mine I awoke a dream I said in astonishment but may not this dream after all be a prophecy end of dream number nine end of man's rights or how would you like it comprising dreams by any Denton Cridge