 I mean, and you guys know what I'm talking about. I mean, the traditional way that we're taught, especially when we're interacting with women, is we're out there and we're talking to them. We're kind of hovering over them and pressuring them. And I go, I got to talk this girl into, I got to get her number. And I got to talk her into going out with me. And everything is about pressure. And everything is never letting up. And for those of you who say, well, will women really do that? Well, you probably wouldn't know because you spend most of your time trying to talk women into something they already want to do. But you're trying to talk them into it. So in other words, women don't meet this cool guy very often. They meet the guy who's over pursuing, he's relentless. I'm talking about in the creepy way, right? You know what I'm saying, right? We've all been there and done that. It's the guy who's desperate and needy and he wants something. He's trying to make something happen. And that girl's not going to be excited about being assertive. And what I find is that most women I talk to would love to be assertive. If number one, they knew that we could handle it when they are assertive. And I don't mean aggressive. I mean assertive in a very healthy, fun way. And they don't meet that guy. They rarely meet that guy. They always meet the guy who's doing the same thing as every other guy is doing. And when you're doing the same thing that every other guy is doing, that's competition. Guys tell me all the time, oh, how do I eliminate my competition? You know, I'm in a bar. What about all these other guys and all that kind of stuff? And I said, well, if you're doing everything that they're doing, then yeah, they're your competition. But if you're this other next level guy that I'm talking about, they're not your competition anymore. And so that's something to think about. OK, so nothing sexy but the provider. Now, if you want to be the next level kind of provider, then the next level provider is a guy who provides women with an opportunity to be interested in him. So that's a provider I can stand behind. That's a provider that is sexy. A guy who provides, instead of talking at a girl about himself and all the great things and cool things about him and trying to get her interested, is providing an opportunity for the woman to talk about herself, asking questions, providing her an opportunity to be interested. That's really the number one thing there. We talk at them and we don't give them a chance to respond in the way that they would like to. Now, if you're chasing women the traditional way, it can also be a tremendous waste of money. As you guys can imagine, we already talked about the situation. And it doesn't have to be on that grand scale. But if you date a lot, you chase women a lot and that's your whole thing. Even small dates and expensive dates, you start adding them up. And just because you're trying to impress them, it can't get quite expensive and waste a lot of money doing that. It also takes up a lot of your time. Imagine all the time that you spend trying to figure out how to pursue women. I mean, it doesn't matter how much money you've got either. It's like guys at every level that I deal with, right? They all have the same issue. They're obsessed, obsessed with women, man. I've got to get more women. I've got to get hotter women. I've got to get this. You don't understand. This makes me a man. This completes everything. I've got everything but that. I've heard it all. So we're obsessed with that whole chasing scenario. And we spend a lot of time to that. I mean, shoot. When you think about money, I'll just go back to that for a minute. People buy cars, homes, clothing, all kind of crappy buy to get more attractive, to get more women to like you or think you're cooler or richer or better than other guys. Again, competing with other guys. When if you just had this one mindset change of backing off a little bit and being the attractive guy rather than the pursuer, those guys aren't your competition anymore. You're in league of your own. There is no competition unless you run into another guy like that. But then if you did, you'd probably team up with that guy because you're not about competing anymore. You're about collaborating. So it's not that other guys are bad and there's only a certain amount of women and it's a scarce resource, right? How we're all taught, oh, it's a scarce resource. You know, there aren't that. There are millions of women in the world. Millions, millions of beautiful young women. That's what you want. Lots of them all the time. They're everywhere. OK, traditional chasing of women will cause you to overcommunicate. This is one of my favorite subjects to talk about too. Overcommunication. Oh my god. I mean, when we are chasing women, we just feel like we need to talk about things endlessly, right? Because especially if we haven't been together with them yet, we're trying to talk. I've got to keep her interested. Even if we have hung out with them, we want to keep them interested. We want to tell them all kinds of stuff. I have a saying and it is, the more you tell them, the more you repel them. Now mind you, I've learned all this by doing it the wrong way, just in case you think that somehow I just made some of it up. I mean, I've taught thousands of people, both men and women. I've had thousands of interactions with people, done a lot of social experiments, and then done it wrong millions of times. And I can tell you that if you don't create a sense of urgency because you tell them everything, why would they get together with you? What's the point of that? They already know everything. If you're going to tell them something else, it should be when both of you are together. And I'm telling you, I see these guys come up to me and they show me all these super long text message threads or instant message. I mean, they must be like, you know, they go on for sometimes weeks. And I say, hey, so you guys got together? No, but I think I'm going to talk about it soon. We're probably going to maybe get together. I'm like, really? This is your problem. This is over chasing women. This is the old way. And this is exactly why you're not getting together with her. I'm looking at all the stuff you're telling her. And it's the same thing every other guy is saying, right? It's how it's going. You're trying to tease her, right? You're doing all the stuff that they teach you to do in all the books. And you're arriving at the same place which is generally bad results, right? So like I said, even if you do that a lot, and imagine if you're doing that with one girl, right? Most guys aren't doing that. They're doing it with two or three girls. Maybe if guy's good, he's doing it with more. But you can imagine, your whole life is on your phone going back and forth with women you haven't even met up with. And you probably will never meet up with. So it's a horrible amount of time that's wasted for doing that. All right, so next thing I want to talk about is, so if that's true, then why? If what I said was true, then why do guys still do it? Why do we all do it the same way pretty much? So what's that all about? Well, the biggest reason that you do that is because you really don't have any inspiration to do it any other way. You don't see anyone else doing it a different way. Maybe hear about the random guy now and then who says, oh, yeah, I just walk into a room and chicks come over to me, right? Which I've said before, actually. But it's more complicated than that. It's not that easy. So you're socially programmed to think this is how it works, right, from childhood. Everything we see in here is all about is to support the traditional courting procedure, traditional dating. And I'll tell you that when I talk to couples and I ask them why their relationship didn't work out, I can always trace it back to a couple of things. And one of them is always, oh, yeah, he called me and he kept calling me and I said no. And then I finally said yes, which will lead me to something else I'm gonna talk about in a couple of minutes. So you've got everything around you is leading to that. The media, of course, is a huge culprit. You can take your pick from magazines, TV shows, to commercials, everything's supporting the current way of doing things. Why do they do that? Because it's easier to sell you stuff when you say this is what I want. Okay, here, we'll give it to you rather than, no, let me show you something that they don't know you want. And I'm gonna change your mind and then I'm gonna sell you something. So that's another reason that they would keep going down that road. So if you're thinking in your head, because this is how my mind works, I'm going, why wouldn't people just stop doing that? Well, or why are they telling me that? Because they have, there's something in it for them. Okay, so that's why it's like that all the time. That's, you know, they're trying to support all the stuff, right? You gotta get engaged, not get engaged to the right, I was gonna say there's a, I love this engagement ring store. Their message is get engaged. That's it, just get engaged because that's all they care about. They just want you engaged. They don't care if it's to the right person for the wrong reason. In fact, if it's to the wrong person, it's actually better for them because then you come back and get engaged again. Buy another ring, see? So I'm just kind of giving you an idea. I'm not mad about it and I don't want you to be upset about it. I just, if you're a why person and you're wondering why it continues, this is why. So it's nice to have a little bit of a, to know what's going on. So everyone's doing it. Everyone talks about it the same way. All your friends are doing it. And you got peer pressure too, you know? When I, sometimes when I teach this stuff, my clients will say, man, I'm the only one in my group doing it this way. And my friends are giving me crap because you know, I'm not out there, you know, getting 400 phone numbers a week and they're doing it and I'm finding a lot of, like that's why you would go back and do it the old way, right? So there's a lot of peer pressure. That's why guys go back. There's one person in the group that says, I'm going to try a different way. I'm going to try and experiment. And everyone else says, no, no, no. I don't want to do it that way. Let's do it this other way. Goes back to scarcity too. So even if you knew there was another way to do it and someone showed that to you, because you're competing with other guys and you're afraid of loss, right? Oh, I don't want to lose that girl over there to that other guy who's really, you know, on her. That's another thing. That's another reason that you wouldn't do it. He is. And I know him. He's a legend. He's been around way back in the day when we all got the. And I'm telling you, I see these guys come up to me and they show me all these super long text message threads or instant message. I mean, they must be like, you know, they go on for sometimes weeks and I say, hey, so you guys got together? No, but we're, I think I'm going to talk about it soon. We're probably going to maybe get together. I'm like, really? This is your problem. This is over chasing women. This is the old way. And this is exactly why you're not getting together with her. I'm looking at all the stuff you're telling her and it's the same thing every other guy is saying, right? It's how it's going to, you're trying to tease her and you've gotten into it and you're doing it. Is it possible that women will just switch over immediately? Yeah, it is. Because even though they're programmed just, you know, the opposite of the way we are, the passive way. So women are, of course, unfortunately programmed to be passive. So we become too pushy, they're too passive. So they kind of wait around, right? They've been taught to wait around and the right guy will approach you or he won't, right? Now some girls are assertive and I applaud them if they are, but very few. And so, maybe in conversation with or you're already sort of like chasing the old way. You have, if you want women to chase you, you have to stop chasing them, period. That's it.