 when we take a look at this relationship between فاطمة الزهرة إمام علي حسنان حسين علي مسلام look at the bonding of this family bonding of that family is extremely important the minute the child is born he needs the love of his parents and of course he when i say here i mean he and she they need the love of the parents they need your love they need your time sometimes some parents for whatever you know حسنان they go through and i'm not here to judge believe me i'm just here to admonish just here to state some issues things we learn in education you know a child needs love sometimes some parents because of the حسنان of life they take this child who's only few months old or one year old and they put him in the daycare or in that nursery now through the nursery we'll provide him with food we will provide him with whatever he needs the necessities but there is something that they will never give him and you know what that is love love will never be provided at the nursery those of you who have a child who's one year old i don't know if you have a child one year old two years old do you see how sometimes they come to you and they just hug you they come to you and they just give you a hug they might be playing in the middle of their play they get up they give you a hug and they go back oh sometimes the child might suffer from a stomach ache or some some pain they immediately run at you as a parent and you provide them you know this comfort you hug them you just comfort them down etc etc etc this feeling this bonding this hugging when you kiss that child this is not just a hug this is providing comfort to the child security to the child love to the child that's why you find when the child feels scared what is the first thing he does what would he do runs to the parent when the child starts crying what does he do runs to the parent he wants that love that assurance that's why you find رسول الله صلى الله عليه و آله he used to hug Imam al-Hasan and Imam al-Hussain kiss them so much hug them kiss them even though they're imams معصومين but he still gives them this love this compassion until one day a man was looking at رسول الله صلى الله عليه و آله and he said yeah رسول الله i have 10 children i never kiss anyone of them the prophet صلى الله عليه و آله said you know Allah took the mercy away from your heart you know you have children provide them with love provide them with mercy in fact he goes on to say if you have a child behave like a child with him and you find even Abu Bakr narrates he says i was walking and i saw حسن and حسين riding on the back of رسول الله صلى الله عليه و آله you know like horsey you know how sometimes children they they're riding on the back of the prophet and the prophet is walking on his four you know on his knees he's walking so he tells them he tells them حسن and حسين عليه و آله he says ونعمر المركب he says what a great ride you have the two of them and the prophet صلى الله عليه و آله then responds immediately and he says ونعمر راكبان and what a great riders as well you know just to show him the greatness of أهل البيت of حسن and حسين عليه و آله but you see how رسول الله رسول الله plus at this time he was also the head of the umma يعني he was not just a religious leader a political leader plus with all these wars that were happening with all these problems that were happening he still gives time to his children to his grandchildren to play with them to kiss them to hug them all this is not just so that we say oh subhanallah the status of امام حسن and امام حسين is so great yes that is there but it's also to teach us parents this is what you need to do with your children if i رسول الله صلى الله عليه و آله i'm doing this then what are you supposed to do this is what you're supposed to do قرآن says in the example of رسول الله is a role model لقد كان لكم في رسول الله اسوة حسنة حسنة اسوة you have to follow his example but we sometimes are so busy we don't develop this bond between us and our children we throw them into the daycare again i'm not here to judge wallah please don't say this sheikh is judging us or what i'm not here to judge i'm just here to advice the daycare does not provide that love so you find that sometimes this child grows and he is missing something he's missing that love of the mother that love of the father and then we sometimes are so busy with our work you find some parents some men probably you know the brothers the fathers they leave to work at 7 am when the children are asleep they come back at 8 pm when the child is also asleep when did you spend time with this child when did you sit down on the dinner table with this child and ask him son how was your day today at school what were things like today in school and when you add the mother if the mother is also working mother then the same thing with her she has to leave early in the morning she comes back let's say at 5 6 o'clock at night she is so stressed she has to prepare maybe some food for the children there is no time because of her difficulty i mean she's a human being at the end of the day she just cannot sit down and spend so much time with the children the children have to do their homework we need to spend time with the children talk to them they need your love they need your attention they need your care they don't need your toys we sometimes feel guilty so what do we do we buy them toys yes initially they'll get happy yeah toy whatever car or whatever but eventually what happens to the toy your parents know you know the most expensive toy you buy them you know buy me this toy toy toy two days later it's thrown in the garbage you know they don't even look at this toy anymore this is this is our children are and interestingly they say in research children remember experiences from their childhood they don't remember the toys experiences experiences are like for example the vacation that you took your children to that camping trip that you took your children to that week that you spent with your children and you had fun for example doing certain things together as a family these are experiences these they remember and even you yourself just think yourself think back when you when i was a little what do i do i remember the toy that my father brought me or something or do i remember the trip that i took with my father that soccer game that i played with my dad are these the things that you remember these are the experiences this is what children actually remember this is what the things they like they want you they don't want the toys they don't want the money i'm not saying money is not important because this is the argument some fathers say what am i doing you know what what can i do i'm bringing them the money is for them everything is for them i understand i understand but we need to think as a family what are our priorities what are the priorities is the priority to drive the latest model of the vehicle but at the expense of me having to work double jobs to pay off the payments and to live in a big house for example that i cannot afford so i have to spend now more money or spend more time working and the wife has to go working or i'd rather live in a smaller budget but rather i invest more time with my children this is something important brothers and sisters sit down and talk to your children even researchers they say it's important to have that dinner time they call it what they call dinner time dinner time with the children why they say this is the time when you get to have a conversation with your children you get to see how things are with your children and then if there is something that is odd something that is wrong this is the time when you can pick it up if the child says something so describe your day for me as school today you know how did you go with your friends oh it was okay well what happened between you and friends what did you guys play and then and then they say one word that one word will raise the alarm if you're careful like oh really okay so what happened there well you know this and this and this this person said this what happened then and now when you start to learn a little bit more and that's when you catch you start catching who are your friends who are you talking to at the school who are you speaking with at the school you start finding if there are any problems this is the time when they need you so try to the best of your ability to spend these bonding times spend time bonding with the family it's extremely important to bond with them working 24 seven is not going to result in this bonding i'm not saying spend the whole time with them but spend some time at least and that's why Imam Ali عليه السلام النهج البلاغة says divide your time into three time for عبادة your صلاة your صيام all this عبادة coming to the mosque that's one part of your time don't spend the whole time in the mosque you know even he says not at the expense of your own families for example come to mosque but then there is another part for your work you need to also go work you have to earn a living that's fine but then there's also part for relaxation and things that are not especially with its family time you need a break as well but spend that break with the family spend the break with the family it's extremely important that's the bonding time