 and a new series called The Club Car Special. It brings you a radio dramatization of the march of events and city life section of the Hearst Sunday newspaper throughout the country. In this section, you'll find the cartoons and writings of America's most popular humorists, Will Rogers, Arthur Bugsbear, O. O. McIntyre, George A. and many others. Let's climb on board The Club Car Special, settle down in the big easy chair and watch the world go by with a great big laugh. Music The first thing we see as we turn to the march of events, city life section of our Hearst newspaper is a snappy cartoon. Yes, it's a picture of your municipal fire company. The chief seems to be mad as hops. Anyway, he's doing a lot of hopping up and down. Gathered around him are a lot of smoke eaters standing flat footed while he gives them a piece of his mind. Music Losos, what is this? A fire department or an old lady's home? Are you guarding into the public safety or are you just a lot of stuffed church? Answer me that. Well... I don't care how many fires you put out. What do you talk? We saved the 14 lives of this week, chief. I don't care if you saved Peggy Joyce and all her husband. We rescued all their elephants when the circus burned down, didn't we? I don't care if you saved all the elephants in Africa. Well, what's the matter, chief? If you're not cared about putting out a fire and a saving the lives of a rescued elephant, so what do you care about, eh? I'll tell you what I care about. It's those newsreel fellas. Newsreel fellas? Yes, newsreel fellas. They've beaten us to three fires since last Tuesday. Laughter Millions of followers everywhere. During the late but not lamented depression, everybody had to forsake some of the things they previously enjoyed. But the people of the nation did not surprise themselves of their McIntyre. Man, that's loyalty for you. Think of it, millions of readers demanding their usual contact with this writer no matter what else was happening to the rest of the world. Well, no one follows McIntyre more closely than does Billy Murray. And nobody likes to talk about McIntyre more than Billy Murray. So, Billy, how about it? Right with you, Harry. Well, everybody knows how McIntyre likes dogs. Here is a quotation that Odd printed in his column a few Sundays back. It's a tribute written by Jerome K. Jerome, and it says, A dog never makes it his business to inquire whether you're in the right or in the wrong. Never bothers it whether you're going up or down on life's ladder. Never asks whether you're rich or poor, silly or wise, sinner or saint. You are his pal. That is enough for him. And come luck or misfortune, good repute or bad, honor or shame, he is going to stick to you, to comfort you, guard you, give you his life. If need be, foolish, brainless, soulless dog. McIntyre says that whenever he feels his enthusiasm for dogs is getting out of bounds, he always turns to this tribute and reads it again. In another paragraph, McIntyre tells us that Ken Hubbard was more right than we appreciated in some of the ruralistic philosophies he used to write. Here's one from way back in 1918, when Hubbard stated, the best way to double one's money is to fold and put it back in the pocketbook. The other day, McIntyre described one of Park Avenue's swankiest most-to-date drug stores. He said its windows have a plushy magnificence and they have on display perfume at $125 a bottle and toilet powder at $3 a shaker. Well, I suppose they charge a dollar a dozen for aspirin tablets, silly, eh? I don't know about that, Harry, but they do make the clerks wear dinner jackets after sundown. Then McIntyre turns serious and unfolds one or two not very well-known facts. He says that Queen Victoria wanted no black mourning and was buried in white, believing death would reunite her with her beloved Albert. McIntyre says also that he believes 98% of all breach of promise suits are really nothing but blackmail. But here's a good one. McIntyre states there's nothing so comic as a pedestrian trying to avert a funny posture when he falls on the icy sidewalk. Ahead of him the other morning, a man went into one of those Wilma Honeyside skitters and wound up with one knee on the ice and with his arms extended heavenward. And what do you think a passing taxi driver yelled? Mary! In his column the other day, Will Rogers got off on the subject of wars and how to prevent him. With typical directness, he turned right to human nature for a solution. Will figures that behind every war there's a man and behind every man there's a woman. He paints a picture of a prime minister returning home from a hard day in the cabinet. No sooner has the weary prime minister hung up his hat than the little woman pounces upon him. I was going to call you up but the Chancellor of the Exchequer has put through a new ruling. We have to pay for all personal calls during business hours now. Pay for your own telephone calls. It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of. What kind of a government are you working for anyway? And are you a prime minister? What is this country coming to? I wouldn't stand for it if I were you. Well, these days a job is a job. You're too easygoing. That's what ails you. If I were in your place, I'd start looking for another position. I hear Dipsomania is looking for a dictator and they're willing to pay practically anything for the right man. I heard that story too but I couldn't get a job with Dipsomania. I'd like to know why you couldn't. Well, for one thing, I just declared war on them this morning. You did what? I declared war on Dipsomania this morning. Why have all the means, selfish, inconsiderate things to do? You know how I hate war. But you don't understand, dear. Now please let me pay your- I don't understand, don't I? I understand, Penties. You just want an excuse to go off on a lot of trips and leave me stuck here at home. Well, I won't have it, do you hear? You'll call this war off or I'll know the reason why. Oh, listen, sweetheart, think of the position that would put me in. I don't care what position it puts you in. You've gotten away with Penties since we've been married. But you're not going to get away with this? Now, wait a minute, honey. Don't call me, honey. I'm going right upstairs and back on this. Wait, wait, don't do that. You try and stop me. I'll show you. You can't declare war to suit yourself. Angel, listen. I'll call the whole thing off. Honest, I will. Cross my heart. I'll call the war off the first thing in the morning. My horrible club called Fiddle. Nix up, Georgie! He wrote about a little group of his Indiana neighbors who had gotten together and fell to discussing the banks and bankers and how many of the local banks had to close up shop last November. Well, finally one old fellow named Luke Simkin got warmed up to his subject and analyzed the situation. Something like this. things was going last fall I about come to the conclusion the only way to keep banks going in small towns around here was to elect directors who hadn't any friends or relatives the average country banker didn't seem many more qualified to protect depositors and use his head in loan and money than he did to be an aviator I remember not so long ago I attended a big stag party down south it was just at the time when a lot of them banks was popping off right in their depositors faces there were a lot of us Hoosiers present and one fellow full of sentiment or maybe it was sediment he got up and proposed we sing that good old Hoosier lullaby on the banks of the wall bash another member of the party a fellow who'd been pretty badly hooked got on his feet and said that I move we emit the singing of that song I happen to know there ain't no bank left along the wall bash author bug's bear is recognized as one of the world's wittiest writers his first comments on science politics society or any other subject in the daily headlines are recognized as classics of modern humor today we're going to learn more about what a man bug's bear is famous fighter and hero of over 1100 battles all of them crooked but no matter according to bear what a man is fighting turtle neck newbins today at Madison Square Garden it's just about time for the bout to begin a porter will you cut that music on the radio and see if you can pick up the water man newbins fight at Madison Square Garden it's all over but the shot there's a bill for the second week wait a minute hold everything I'm going to crawl through the crowd and he would have thought about I never saw anything like this in all my life turtle neck came out for the second round wearing handcuffs right here rep well what's the idea said in your point of the ring wearing handcuffs there's another one of your frame ups I don't know nothing about it rep ask him oh him turtleneck hey you turtleneck what's this guy trying to pull who slipped the handcuffs on you say mr. referee how you talk I wear them all the time they're only slave bracelets the club car special has come to the end of another trip on the air and while the journey has been briefed you will find a longer session of fun and nonsense by these same writers and others in the march of events and city life section of the Hearst Sunday newspapers think of it long articles each chuck full of written by the world's leading humorous no other newspaper presents such a list of names oh oh McIntyre will Rogers Bugsbear George a Damon Runyon milk gross Sam Hellman and others there are a lot provoking cartoons to keep up with the best humor of the day just as millions of readers do each Sunday the club car special a program built upon the articles of these foremost writers of comedy will be ready to arrive at your home next week at this same time over the same station be sure to meet it and enjoy another 15 minutes of original comedy