 She ends up talking to a bunch of guys that you're feeling jealous and you try to maybe for like a half hour She's talking to that guy then half hour She's talking to another guy and they look pretty cool and everything you she's not coming to you And you're thinking man I brought up this thing and it's not happening and you're feeling off now You can pretend like it didn't matter and that would be the stronger option The strong man would say wouldn't even notice you think it's cute that she's trying to do something Or he wouldn't even be thinking about her he'd be thinking about having a good time doing something else But it's too bad. You're not that strong yet, right? It's hurting you And so you try to be reactive you go and hit on some other girls You know I'm gonna hit on this girl cuz she's sitting on that guy You know this girl, but of course it's not gonna go well because you're being reactive She's gonna sense that there's something off because you're not being honest with yourself first Right, so then she comes back so all of this horrible stuff it makes it worse, right? You're not going that well you go you try to look cool going your friends not working that well the whole time You're just is nagging at it's bugging you there She's talking to these guys and it's bothering you at the end of that hour. She comes back It's like oh, hey, where have you been come on man? I've been here the whole time right you thinking but what are you gonna say you just say whatever you've been thinking in terms of this Your psychological archaeology because you should sit there and think wow, so this is what it feels like This is what it feels like to be jealous to be insecure And why am I feeling jealous and insecure and you just chart that out You might even need to pull out your iPhone and write it all down Because it's gonna go why why why? You know and let's say that she comes over and you I'll just give an example of a case Right she comes over and says hey, where have you been you can just tell her you could pretend like oh, hey Let's get a drink. I wasn't bothered go get a drink and she could tell something's wrong You've got that thought in your head instead just say you know I Brought you to this thing. I was hoping we just spent some nice time together That was pretty stupid of me to bring you to this because there's full of dudes that want to talk to you And of course you're gonna talk to other guys You know just telling the truth like of course you're gonna talk to other guys But you know my friends are saying to me just don't think about her go talk to these other other girls You know forget about her, but it sucks. I don't know what you did to me. I can't stop thinking about you I know I've only known you for one date like you know It's only a second date so I shouldn't be feeling this way But I just got to say you did something to me and I it it got to me a little bit You know you won this one. Oh man. It sucks I shouldn't feel this way because that's the truth, right? You know you shouldn't feel that way, but you do you just have to say it I know I should be stronger, but I'm not right and I you know even um, even when I was working today Ended up just I was doing my work, but then this I this image of you came up in my mind No, I can't think about her. I gotta be strong. I gotta be independent. I gotta give her space You know now you're verbalizing all of the shit that you've been thinking because you paid attention to your feelings If you are honest and sincere and you're not trying to game or a manipulator But you're just being honest and sincere just sharing what you what you're saying Girls will get addicted to you because no one's like that Dudes want to pretend like they don't feel shit They're just the strong man. They don't feel anything But if you're just honest and vulnerable and expose yourself for what you really are like just hey It's out there and I know it always tempered by knowledge of what emotional strength should look like, you know I know I shouldn't be affected. I know I should be stronger like when you're working out I know I should be lifting a certain weight eventually. That's my goal. You have a goal, but you're not there yet so you just say it and You know what will happen is she gets addicted to the vulnerability And you end up creating drama for her that becomes very addictive like oh my god, you know really she's gonna think really you care That much about me and here I'm like struggling like no, I don't want to but I do but no I don't want you but I do Now you can see that this could actually become a technique if you're a really good actor You could use it and you know some people have and it's also always just keep in mind It's always most powerful when it's honest and it's also best for your happiness If you're just expressing yourself honestly, you're not hiding anything just put it all out there and it takes a lot of strength Emotional strength to do this It takes a certain level of maturity already to do that But the stronger you get emotionally the more powerful honesty will be for you as an expression The more powerful the more strong the stronger emotionally emotionally you be you become the more powerful honesty will be for you So the step here is to simply As you're doing this, why am I feeling this and why you're gonna be coming up Against your vulnerabilities your insecurities your weaknesses. You need to be comfortable and content with those Not content in the sense that you're not gonna work with them But you're gonna have to deal with them as hey, I don't be ashamed of them Let's say you're a skinny guy at the gym or your fat guy at the gym You're not there yet. You'd haven't met your goals yet, but if you hide it, you're not gonna work at it You've got to just put it out up front. For example, let's say Your plan is to lose 20 kilograms in two months Which is actually quite a lot so 20 kilograms in two months and as you get to the six week mark You're making good progress. You're feeling good. You know, you've lost 15 kilograms You're feeling good and then you hit that two month mark and damn it. You got there 20 kilograms of fat gone All right, then you celebrate Three days later. You just gained three kilograms Then that first week you get back at five now you feel like shit shit. I backslided I backslid now I'm at 15 notice that objectively speaking you're the same weight as you were in the sixth week But in the sixth week you felt great But now the ninth week you feel like shit Why because it's not about the objective measure, right? It's not about the how good you are objectively speaking It's about progress and trajectory. Do you see an upward trend? Are you getting better and better every day? That's what's important. So if you're not you can be comfortable and content with where you are now as long as you're Getting better and better. That's what will make you happy and we'll give you that rock solid confidence It doesn't matter whether you get there actually Because if you get there you reach your goal and you don't progress you're gonna plateau and you're only gonna go down So what matters the most is that you're making progress How can you be comfortable and content with your flaws Dave? You know, that's what you're gonna ask me, right? If you're making good progress, maybe you haven't fixed it all yet. Maybe you're still needy a little bit Maybe you still get attached too easily or maybe you're still insecure about your height or your race or your weight Or whatever that's fine. Put it out there. Say, you know when you said that now that little jab against me I'm still pretty sensitive about my weight. I know I shouldn't be I'm trying to work on it But man that hurt damn it That's real power when whatever you're thinking and feeling just put it out there You notice a great example of this is Eight mile at the end When Eminem did that to wrap off right and the guy's like man, they got all this shit on you What did they say all this and all this all this? What do you do? He just put it out there He said hey, you know, you're gonna say all this. Yes, I live in my mom's trailer. Yes I'd you know, I got jumped by you dude. Yes Yes, all of this shit happened, you know, but I know something about you, you know I mean put that out there, but he was just honest when you have brutal honesty Nobody can hurt you because you have nothing to hide If you have nothing to hide you're indestructible So this is how to use honesty to make yourself stronger. That's the inner That's the inner this is the outer of what to how to express it the thought processes You're going through and how to be cool with yourself Even if you're not your ideal self yet, which is probably never gonna happen because if you're progressing in life It never ends your life would hopefully you'll be progressing all the way to the end So what matters is the progress what matters is the journey not their goal And the stronger you get emotionally the more powerful honesty will be for you All right, I want to thank you for listening so attentively Carpe diem sees a day and make your life All right guys David TN. That was awesome Questions we got That was unreal, thank you. Thank you I Guess my insecurity. I know it's gonna be specific, but it's It's hard. It's my disability So would it still be the same? With the reframing and can you tell me vaguely? That's cerebral palsy Right, okay. Yeah, so your disability I haven't worked with anyone with specifically that disability, but I've worked with people who have other physical disabilities medical Disabilities and one of my my good friends is now used to be a fitness trainer Now we can't train because of a certain genetic thing. So It I can I understand Partly understand where you're coming from and what you need what I would say is let's go back to the inner because that's the most important