 Welcome to Dare to Dream. This is Debbie Daschinger, your host. The Dare to Dream podcast has been nominated for two People's Choice podcast awards and a Webby Award. I've been on air and on podcast for 13 years and Dare to Dream is ranked in the top 100 best podcasts in USA and self-improvement on Apple podcasts and ranks in the top 50 podcasts in several countries around the world. So thank you so much for joining. And I myself, I'm a certified coach whose expertise is visibility in media. I coach people to write a page turner book, help them to take their book to a guaranteed international bestseller and I pull back the curtains so they have the system to be interviewed on media and podcasts and get massive results. I show people how to find and use media to locate their tribe, fill workshops, sell books and gain exposure. You can connect with me at debbiedaschinger.com that's D-E-B-B-I-D-A-C-H-I-N-G-E-R.com and also get your free tools and templates there. My gift to you. I wanna thank Dr. Dane here and Access Consciousness for sponsoring this show. They do beautiful energy work out into the world in fact anywhere in the world. You can find out more at Dr. Dane, D-A-I-N here, H-E-E-R.com as well as Access Consciousness.com. Today I've got the beautiful Victoria Vives-Kwang here and my question to you is, do you wanna live an aesthetic and desirable life? I know I do. Victoria is the international bestselling author of In a Matter of Seconds. She's a healing and shamanism teacher, spiritual leader and host of the Divine Sexuality podcast. Victoria has helped thousands of women around the world to access greater fulfillment in their lives and help others do the same through energy healing and spirituality. Victoria emphasizes divine sexuality as the most powerful philosophy she teaches because it is at the foundation of femininity and womanhood. Divine sexuality facilitates women's ability to positively relate to their bodies, to their partners and to their sexuality. She has a free gift for you. It is her e-book on divine sexuality. Go to victoriavives.com slash divine. That's Victoria, v-i-v-e-s dot com slash divine. Yum. And I welcome the beautiful Victoria Vives to dare to dream. Oh my goodness, what a delicious introduction. Thank you so much and hi everybody. Ha, ha, ha, so fitting. So I am marveling, being here with you low these many months after we met, you went on stage and talked about what you did. And I just grabbed, well, first of all, I grabbed you but I said, we have to do a panel. We have to do a whole sexuality panel on my show but who knew that COVID was gonna hit the world? So here we are, you and I are the panel together. We are. And I just so glad we're doing this. I alluded to you before we began, when I met you, I was like, hot, hot potato. This woman, first of all, so gorgeous, it's ridiculous. And the fact that you offer all of what you do and then now when finding out you're into shamanism, like you and I girl, we are so aligned. So I wanna say how excited I am because this sexuality, these divine principles that you teach are opening up right now in my world like a beautiful lotus flower. So it is synchronicity indeed that you are here right now to talk about this. How beautiful, I didn't know that part. I'm super excited and yes, I know as soon as I met you I just felt this connection. And I didn't know that you were so in tune with what I do too. So we're totally in alignment and I'm so happy to share this with you because sexuality is something that is so taboo. And when we understand that there is a divine and sacred aspect to it and we can embrace it from that perspective and it can truly be the most pleasant way to heal ourselves. I love it. So we'll dance around this and there's so much to deep dive with you. Let's start with the divine sexuality. So here's what happened concurrently right before I met you. There was a woman at the event where you and I were at. I had just met her the night before the event started. And this was like honestly, very short hair, middle-aged woman, you would never think. And I was just getting to know her and she said, oh, I just came back from this goddess retreat and I learned orgasmic meditation and Yoni massage. And I went home to my husband of however many decades and we started doing it and my life is changing. And I'm like, getting out of a pad and paper like, you did what? I never heard of it. And I'm taking notes and I went back up to my hotel room and I'm looking it up on YouTube going, oh, Lord, I didn't know this thing existed. And so I just wanna start there with that subject. Let's just open that up. Talk about that in regards to divine femininity and sexuality. Yes, so just to give a little bit of background and you know a little bit of this. So I grew up in Spain where sex was strictly for procreation and a woman's highest aspiration was to serve her husband. So sexuality was a sin. Literally, we were in dictatorship. So we were in a very conservative regime. So sexuality was like this sinful taboo, guilt, you know, all of these negative emotions. And since, yeah, tell me, tell me. A lot of shame. A lot of shame, a lot of shame. And since you are into chakras also, I imagine. So this is all lower chakra negative energy. So blocking all the lower chakras with all those aspects. So that doesn't allow the energy to come up into the heart and to the higher centers or have a foundation for the energy to truly flow through the whole energy field. So this right away, it really disconnects us from our bodies, right? So we are maybe wanting to have a beautiful relationship but who knew sexuality is, of course, the bonding and the glue of our relationship. So how can you have this beautiful experience with a partner when there is no sexuality, specifically orgasm is what really creates this heightened connection at a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level. So if we don't tap into that because we have all these breaks and all these blocks and all these things out of place, it is so hard to really have that communion, that sacred marriage with a partner. So because of that, I married for 17 years. So I had a little bit of a time of challenges with my husband in this regard. So that's when really I started looking for this. And there are many, many aspects to it. Of course, there is all the multi-orgasmic sex, which is amazing and it's actually a byproduct of healing trauma, redefining sex, learning to understand your body that is not just sometimes, especially with some of our partners, we might experience that there is like really localized sex. They go for very specific points, but it's more about discovering the map of our bodies and understand how orgasm and ecstasy can be all around our bodies. Wait, wait, can we just stop there? Yeah. I love that, I love that. So do you, because now I wanna do this. I really do, that's taking it to another level. Can you just give a tip here about a way that we can explore, how can we start to feel all these senses for ourselves or for our partner? Yeah, so one of the practices that I love is to, in Spain we do the idea of siesta, like nap. So just taking that time to disconnect because especially for business owners, like women business owners, that we are really saturated with a lot of information in our heads and we don't go into our bodies. Just taking that break in the middle of the day can truly expand our businesses because we are fully energized and inspired. So just taking that time, going to the bed so you are pretty awake, but you just go there, lay down in your bed, create a sacred space for your sexuality. That's super important. So you don't want to, in an environment that is, I don't know, with clutter and other things, but truly create a sanctuary for your body. The same that your body can start being the sanctuary of your soul. So you create this space and you know that every day you go there and you take even if it is 10 minutes to disconnect from everything. You put some candles, beautiful music, some essential oils and lay down. And I recommend to do this alone for a period of time even though sometimes it can be with a partner, but it is important to, as women, start creating and developing this self-love for our bodies and also this knowledge about how we react to that. Men touch very differently to how we touch as women, right? So it's almost the sensation that when we touch, we give and sometimes men might almost be taking because they're so excited and they're like, oh my goodness. So sometimes we might not be able to go into that sensual, a little softer feeling that allows us to tap into other sensations, other erogenous areas in our bodies. So as you are alone and you really set the states, the mood for this, just start exploring your body. So not just going directly to massage your clitoris, necessarily, but instead truly see how you react and sometimes placing a hand, I normally call the area of the yoni, the vulva, I call it yoni. So just, you can have one hand there and just explore different areas, but also see how it feels, the connection. I know that you are into shamanism and other things. Have you practiced Reiki or any energy healing? I've experienced them all, yes indeed, for many years. Yes, so we have this ability of channeling energy. So as you place your hand, once again it's not about taking energy, but about giving energy and giving nurturing to your body, self-love. So you are recharging yourself. And sometimes you might notice that as you caress yourself, you actually are able to almost like connect different pathways within yourself. So for example, there is a connection that is the heart-womb connection. And just feeling that connection and sometimes it might be so pleasurable and so exciting, but in a different way. So it's almost like an ecstatic experience. And what I mean with this, I had a near-death experience. And after that, I had an ecstatic experience, which was like, as psychologists told me, it was a Kundalini awakening because for a second I was one with everything. I was like, oh! And then I came back. But my life was changed forever after that. So it's a little bit like that concept we hear about say it's been in that ecstasy. Like suddenly everything stops and it's like this energy flowing through your body and it feels so delicious and nurturing and it's pure love. It's almost like liquid love flowing through you. So we can start tapping into those spaces and those feelings by exploring our bodies with the timing that we need and the pace that we need as women. Okay, that's beautiful. We're gonna go into this more in a little bit, but I think your story is really compelling. And I think it's so interesting, not just the juxtaposition of what you shared about coming from Spain and the dictatorship and all those more rays that were coming down on you saying, a woman is only valued by her man and they're assuming my own sexuality and my goodness, look at you. I mean, people should just go to your website and see these photos of you. They're so gorgeous. And- Thank you. Yeah, like I feel like you just live out loud in such a big way. So tell us, what is it that your journey's been? What have you been through? How in the world did you get here because it seems to me quite a miracle based on what I read? It has been crazy. It has been an adventure. It's almost like I lived, I don't know, 20 different lifetimes and these people has told me, like I was visiting a shaman and she was saying, you have lived like 20 lifetimes in one. How is that happening? Because it's almost like every, I don't know, 10 years, seven years, it's like a different life almost. So of course, growing up in Spain was very dramatic for me. I was the only black person I met until I was 14 because my dad is from Nigeria, but my mom left him. So my mom is part German. So I grew up with all these German-like women. I had three female caretakers. So it was my mom, my aunt and my grandmother. So men were nowhere around. My school was only girls. So it was very interesting. And then we were in poverty. It was a ghetto-like neighborhood. But I was like, I'm not going to be the next in my lineage, the next woman that is going to be a loser. I need to be like a man. So I'm going to go with the men and learn how they do it. And that was my perspective. So I made it. I made it into television. I was one of the first faces in primetime television. I even got to do dancing, choreographing and composing for the Olympic Games, candidacy. I got to be in the cover of Vogue Magazine. I got to travel around the world for my dancing and doing other things. And that's how I came, actually, to Los Angeles. So I was with a woman that is a very famous singer in the Latin community. And we were in West Hollywood, precisely where you are. And I fell in love with West Hollywood. Like I fell in love with West Hollywood. I said, I need to live here. And that's it. I'm serious. I'm serious. I love West Hollywood. I know. So I lived for about three years in Hollywood because I was doing martial arts. So I was doing a stunt, choreography and other things like that. So Hollywood was great for me. It was like, I had everything very close. And yeah. So all of that got me into meeting the love of my life. We were both martial artists training together, teaching together. And then suddenly I just sweet. And I said, healing it is. I opened my school. I train over 4,000 teachers and practitioners internationally. And... What specifically do you train them? Yes. So shamanic practitioners. So I teach them how to be shamanic practitioners or teachers. And also I train them on how to be reiki practitioners, reiki teachers. So I'm part of several lineages in shamanism, like the Zulu tradition. So yeah, because I'm part African, I really wanted to tap into that. So I decided to study for about five years and just go through the initiations and have that experience. And it changed my life so much. Growing up as the only black person that people would insult me in the street and just be so mean to me. And after that, seeing that being from Africa had this precious thing connecting with this wisdom of the shamans. So it was life changing for me to do this work. When you train people who come to you, what does that look like? What is the training, the teaching, the apprenticeship to become a fellow shaman if they actually do? What is that? What do you impart to people and what do they learn being with you? I'm getting chills. Like it's not for the faint of heart. Shamanism is not for the faint of heart. There's some people that in their mind say, oh, I'm a shaman, you know, train me. And I'm like, be careful what you ask for because it's not necessarily a choice, a career choice or something like that. And normally it comes with a calling and that calling can be near death experience as I had, psychotic episode as I had, many things that really allow us to look beyond the veil. So if we are able to go to the other side and come back, we get some understanding of what is on the other side. So normally people that comes to my training, they're already having that calling. It's not that they think, oh, it would be cool to be a shaman because then they come to my training, they come to two classes and then they're like, oh my goodness, I'm out of here. They cannot handle it because the spirit is the one that brings the curriculum. You know, it's not like I dictated curriculum, I'm facilitating the training, but spirit is going to put that person through whatever they have to go to take down the walls so that our light can shine, so that we can have compassion for the human condition so that we can truly help to others and relate to others. So it's not a fancy, but it can be so profound in life-changing. Wow. And as a shaman yourself in the Sulu tradition you said, is that correct, Sulu? So we don't call ourselves personally, like I wouldn't say I'm a shaman, I don't say that, other people might tell me, but as a sign of humbleness, we cannot brag. Like, hey, I'm a shaman, you know, shaman Victoria. You know, we don't know that, we don't know that. So my mentor trained in Kenya in the Sulu tradition. So I am part of the Sulu and cross-cultural or inter-tribal lineages. And that's how I was trained. And I have other mentors, but this was like the main one that I work very close with. Yeah. How is that different than other shamans? I mean, if I were to be honest, I think the only shamans I know, frankly, are the ones I've drunk ayahuasca with, right? And that as well is not for the faint of heart. I mean, taking that journey on. I had a conversation with somebody because I had a wild calling when I went to Costa Rica, like first night, the divine came and said, you know, it's so hard to explain to people unless you've been through it, what that means. But this is the most intimate, deep, loving, graceful conversations I was having a lot with the divine over four nights. And every night they came and said, you are a priestess, you are a healer and you are a shaman. And I was like, okay, I'm a media visibility gal, you know? And thus began these like boardroom negotiations. They were so kind to me, like they never, they were just very gracious about all of it that they allowed me to do what I needed to do. Then yeah, I was making boundaries. And then they'd come back the next night and they'd show me, let me, let us just show you this. So things weren't a frightening to me anymore. And it kept happening. They were using my hands to heal the room, to heal myself in minutes. They were having me go up to the shamans and say things like, you need to give me a blessing. I'm being told you need to give me a shaman blessing. And I mean, 20 minutes of arguing with the divine, like that, I can't do that, you guys. Yeah, they'll do that. So it's like, I would talk to the shamans because I don't understand what's going on. Like, what am I supposed to do with this information, right? And they started speaking to me about their journey. Like, oh, well, we spent 20 years traveling the world and drinking in every country. We've probably drunk 1,000 times of medicine and all kinds of medicine, plant medicine is like, I don't think that's what I want to do. I don't miss the kind of shaman I'm ready to become. I'll still drink, but I don't think I need to be that. So I'm very curious when you say what you're doing, this is new for me. Oh, okay, there's different ways to be this out to the world. So what is that for you, this tradition, these practices that you have and how you be out the world? Yes, so the sulu and intertribal or cross-cultural traditions are not about those plants necessarily. So instead, actually we go into trance with the drum. So the drum is our medicine. We work so much with the drum. The beauty about the drum is you can take it anywhere. Like, you know, if you are in ayahuasca, most likely you cannot be traveling and do other things. But with the drum, like you can go in trance or even with a rattle right away. So it's the practice of learning, which I actually can teach you in a couple of hours. It's super easy. But then we start putting layers and layers and layers as you start connecting with your helping spirits. And you start learning the different practices. So you start connecting with your powered animals and with your ancestors and you start doing that work. And it can become really, really interesting because we never know what's gonna happen. But it's almost like the veil between realities starts thinning a little bit. So as we drum, our brain waves go from a beta or theta or alpha state into a theta state. So beta and alpha is when we are more present in the physical reality. Beta is like really focused. So we are able to write, to math and things that are necessary, required to do a very strong focus. Then into alpha, we relax a little bit more. So we are able to maybe read a book, but they dream a little bit or drive and they dream. And then when we really open and we go beyond so our consciousness expands and expands, that's the theta state. At that state, you are able to have one food in physical reality, the other food in the other world. So that's when you are in a very deep meditation or a deep healing and you are able to perceive other realities, but still you can hear if somebody knocks on the door or somebody enters, so you are in between. And that's where the healing happens where the amazing experiences with your helping spirits can occur, where you can do healing for others, where you can do remote processes. So that's where the work starts. So the beginning is just learning how to navigate that run, which is called non-ordinary reality. So it's beyond the five physical senses. And once you know how to travel into that and create partnerships with your helping spirits that are able to almost work with you so that they can bring healing through the veil, so that you bring that energy through the veil for somebody that might need it, for your own self, for guidance, for anything needed. So as you start learning those processes or even you can work with deceased people that might be earthbound spirits, helping them cross into the other side. So there is a lot of this. And it's interesting that you also mentioned priestesses. So I also initiated some priestesses for the divine sexuality work. So it's so interesting that you also are into priestess, energy and all of that. This sounds so much when you describe the drumming, the rattle, the journey, the meeting, the spirit guides and the power animals. It sounds very much like Michael Harner's work, the way of the... Yeah, so he is one of my mentors that I studied for years with her. She was also working with Michael Harner. So she was like one of the people that was... Is it Amanda Folger? Amanda Folger, I work with her also, but this one's Sandra in German. Oh, sure, okay. Yeah, so she's one of my mentors. So that's cross-cultural. So basically cross-cultural is all the practices all around the world, Africa, Australia, America, everywhere, what is the core and bringing that together. The same practices that were practiced all around the world. So what is that core? And mostly they work with the drum, they work with three realities, which is the upper world, the middle world, the lower world, power animals, helping spirits, ancestors. Ancestors is a little bit more from them. Like in Africa, there is a little bit more of that, but I really love how interesting it is that even though we didn't have internet back then, right? They were doing the same practices, right? It's not like they were, hey, what are you doing? So how do you work for shamanism? They weren't like that, right? They had this connection with the earth and the elements in nature and they really knew. They had that connection with spirit and they were doing exactly the same around the world. So how is it for you, Victoria? When you're out in the world, I mean, you're talking about a foot in one world, a foot in the other, I assume that's something you could turn on, but still, if you're gifted like you are, I would imagine at some level that's sort of on all the time. So when you're on, like even when I met you, right? In a group situation like that, are you able to perceive much more than the ordinary person about what's going on or about spirits? So for sure, I'm used to that. So it doesn't feel like a strange to me. It's like, okay, well, you know, that's life. But of course I can turn my attention towards one thing or another. And, you know, for people that might be listening and then I feel, oh, you know, I had experiences like that. Sometimes these experiences are actually tied to trauma. So normally developing this sensitivity once again comes from something that has been challenging, whether it is a new death experience, whether it is a psychotic episode, whether it is an illness. So anytime that we kind of, almost like going out of our bodies because it feels so uncomfortable to be within them, of course, where we go, right? We go to the other side in a way. So I always been a little bit connected to the other side because of that. So I just started reading tarot cards when I was like 11. You know, I already had some of that connection and I had always a lot of connection with that. So it becomes almost like normal. And at the same time, sometimes it can be dangerous. So when I had my awakening, that I had this Kundalini awakening that I shared with you of the oneness moment. Second, that was a little bit confusing because I didn't have a mentor. I didn't have a guide and I was totally on the other side, you know? Like I was just barely on this side. I was working in television, but I was completely gone. So it doesn't, it can be tough, you know? Like we always have to have our roots in the physical reality because we're living this physical experience. So it can become challenging sometimes. So once I balanced it through martial arts, through shamanism helped me actually also. I feel pretty good, you know? Like I don't feel that being out of the world like I used to be sometimes. So I feel that it's very easily integrated and I can totally focus on just being here even though I might be more sensitive in some ways. And how long when people join your shamanism program, how long is that? Is it a month? Is it a year? Is it a lifetime? Well, I feel that this is going to be a path and a lifestyle for everybody that truly has the calling. We call it the calling because it's not a choice. It's like you are called by the spirits. You are called by your ancestors. So you hear that call and you're like something is missing. You need to do something. It's like, so we call it like that. And when that happens, then it's going to be a lifestyle. Then I have other people that comes and they just want to have some tools for themselves to find guidance, to find healing. And then you can just come for a weekend and that will be plenty. And in fact, like some people started my full year of mentorship and they couldn't complete it unless they have that calling. So normally, I ask for a year because I feel, yeah, if you want to really dive into this a year, otherwise you can come for two hours for a weekend and you will learn so much. Like I have people come for two hours and their lives are changed. But of course, to be a shamanic practitioner, I recommend a year. Yeah. And do you only work with women or do you also work? No, it's interesting because when I was teaching martial arts, I had like 95% of students male and then I switched to healing arts and he's like 95% women. So I had a couple of guys. Oh, that's good to know. And you also offer something called the ecstatic woman. What is that? Yes, the ecstatic woman experience. So that's what I'm focusing on right now because even women that have done the shamanic training with me have told me this, the divine sexuality work is what truly took everything to the next level. So that means whether it is about being a mother, about being a daughter, about being a sister, about being a shamanic practitioner, about being a business owner. All of it is celebrated by working in divine sexuality because it works with the core of who we are as women. So what this means is whatever we go, we are women. If our concept and our feeling of being women and being in a physical vessel that is female feels a little off, then everything is going to be a little off. How we relate to others, how we relate to our bodies, how we relate to our businesses, everything is going to be a little off. So by transforming that, that is at our core, everything else is celebrated. So because of that, I'm offering the ecstatic woman experience because I used to teach people in the medical industry, doulas and healers, but I really wanted to help everybody, every female, seriously, something that every female can benefit from this, especially business women that we are sometimes so much into our masculine energy. So connecting with that juiciness of the femininity so that we don't squish down femininity, but instead we can exude it and allow that to fuel our careers, our relationships and ourselves. Yum. Okay. So, okay. I wanna, so let's go back to the sexuality. And I love that we're talking about this. I think this is so important and it's amazing that I'm just finding out about all of this. I mean, I think I'd heard about it, probably the universe was preparing me by hearing things, but they were so strange. I was hearing about these circles where women would lay down and a man, you know, strange men would touch them and I was like, what? And I just shut it down. I didn't even understand because there's so much stuff out there. And then after this woman, I met Tommy about Yoni massage and OM or orgasmic massage and I started looking at these YouTube videos and going, wow. And so here I am with my boyfriend. And I am in such a great situation because my body loves his body. I don't think I've ever experienced anything quite like the connection we have, but he for me is so hot. And that's not about looks, even though I think he has an amazing body, but it's not about that. It's just not, it's just this energy. It's this thing between us. And so we're practicing things like even sacred sexuality breath together, which has nothing to do with touching genitals or anything. It's literally about breathing each other's essence and we have this practice we've been doing and it's amazing. And then we do have a sacred space that we will make like a date with each other to do the orgasmic meditation, which women, men, if you haven't tried it, you must find out about this. And it's beyond for me. I mean, it's so amazing. And what is also amazing to me is how much he loves it. That he says, I get just as much out of giving to you like that. And for him, it's a meditation. And he's fully in like to all of this. So I feel like I'm at this place where I know this much and probably that much. And I'm wanting to explore. So can you take us on some kind of guided tour of all of what's possible there? So the work that I do, there is so much when it comes to divine sexuality. The work that I do is mostly related to women and just with ourselves, even though it of course permeates into our relationship with our partners, how we love it. So one of the things, one of the practices that I love is Yoni eggs. Have you been working with us? No, what's that? Okay, all right. So maybe you would like that. Do you want me to bring some? Yes, of course. I'm a hundred percent. Yes, this is show and tell. And we need a docent to be taking on this guided tour of divine community and sexuality. And we have just the person. Yeah, so my work is mostly about healing. I'm a healer, as you know. So I don't, I mean, we go into ecstatic processes, but the work with me is not so much about put this posture for this or, you know, it's more about what are the things that are preventing your full enjoyment and your multi orgasms and what is that is preventing from that? And how can you tap into beliefs? And I just want to jump in here real quick and say for anyone who's listening to the podcast, I urge you to go to the YouTube video so you can see what she's going, Victoria's going to be showing us. And also, since you may also be interested in her ecstatic woman program, there will be a direct link for you there in the YouTube video. So yet another reason, youtube.com slash Debbie Dashinger and you'll get to see this gorgeous, fabulous woman. Okay, now we're in wrapped. All right. So I have here the Yoni X and I have actually a full tutorial in my website if anybody wants that and I also sell the Yoni X. All right. So Yoni X, they're coming, they're coming. Ta-da! Do you like crystals? Very much, yep. Here is one for that. So Yoni X, as I mentioned before, Yoni is the area, is the way in which we call the area of, from the Yoni up to the cervix. So all this area here, we refer to it as Yoni. And this is a Yoni egg. We also practice, for example, Yoni steam. So all of this is part of this tutorial that I was mentioning. And the Yoni egg is a special crystal because it has not been altered like many of, I did crystal healing and many of the crystals have been enhanced. But we don't want that because this is a crystal that you're going to insert in your Yoni. Okay. And this can be life-changing. So if you know about kegels, right? But kegels, what happens that you are just contracting your muscles. It's the same that if we think about going to the gym and just doing like this all day, it doesn't really work, right? You need some kind of weight some pressure that you push again. So the same you can do with this. So for women that are mature, they need to start working the muscles of the area of the Yoni. So by inserting this and being able to hold it and start doing exercises, but not just doing exercises, you will learn how to start going out and even exercise, having this and holding it within. So it brings so much awareness of your Yoni. So much awareness of the muscles for women. I had women that had incontinence and they healed it with this. Wow. And is that a particular crystal? Is that a carnelian? Yes. Very good. I see you know your crystals. Exactly. It's a carnelian. So I normally recommend to start with a green jade. It's I have one here, let me see. So I just... I'm wearing jade, but I think this would hurt. Yeah, don't put that, don't put that. Don't put that. And we have also different sizes. So all of this is explained in the tutorial if anybody's interested in deepening more their understanding. So yes, normally I would start with a green and then I would continue with rose quartz. So it's all based on the qualities of the crystals. So we want to start with healing with the green jade, then go with this energy that is more nurturing and then we're going to the fiery carnelian. So, you know in the beginning you will see it just falls. Like sometimes we cannot hold it inside. So it can be challenging, but as you continue developing the relationship with your journey, strengthening the muscles, developing your sensitivity, then you start understanding, oh yeah, here it is. And it's coming down, I'm going to bring it up. So imagine how that changes your relationship with a beloved when you are love making. You can absolutely understand what is happening, connect with other area. Oh wow. And if you have a very good experience, let me tell you. I just have a visual, I got it. Yeah, so yeah, it can be really exciting because now you have an understanding of how to work with your journey. And you can take it as far as you wanna take it because not only that we have your nex, we have one more thing which is the Benua balls. I know about those, but I've never understood them. Yeah, well, let me tell you about it. So this is. Oh, they're beautiful. Yes. So once again, they have to be very exquisite crystals that have not been enhanced in any way because we're going to insert them. And, you know, I have seen online as a crystal healing teacher, there are crystals that can dissolve. So we don't want to put that. Oh God. Yeah. We don't want to put that, right? And so let me ask you this, Victoria. So here's my question, because there's no rope attached to those Benua balls. How do you like, how do you take these things out? Let me tell you. So the yoni eggs, there are some that have the holes and you see, there is a hole there. You do, yes. So you can put a cord there, but I don't recommend it because we are working with surrendering. Yeah, I'm gonna say like having a tampon in you, like a crystal tampon, that would be nice. So it's a process of healing. So we need to connect with the crystal and it will come out when it has to come out or you will learn how to put it out as well. So it is not that hard. It is not that hard. And once again, I just want to make sure don't just go into doing it. I would either take a call with me. I offer free calls for 15 minutes, a discovery call or get my tutorial, but don't just do it without knowing or search for some kind of information. Don't just do it because there is a process to it. But once you have developed that connection, you can go to the next level, which is the Benoit balls. Have you seen these women that spit almost balls from their yoni? No, ma'am. Yes. How would I see something like this? So I remember there was a movie that showed something like that, like a woman that had a ball and she was like, and I was like, what? I couldn't even make it. Did she spit it from her yoni and then it didn't go back in the yoni again? No, no, no. It didn't go back. Just going. That's like scripted to Soleil yoni. Well, I mean, it's pretty amazing that a woman can work the muscles in their yoni so that they can spit a ball in that way. And I thought that was... She's hitting a dart ball or a dart board or something and it's really, really impressive. Right? So we can, as women, we can develop this. So imagine women that have incontinence that have low sensitivity. If we would understand that we can truly develop this by exercising like any other muscle. It's just a muscle. So once you are advanced, you can do the art of fompoir, which is having one or more inside and being able to say, I bring it up. I bring it down. I take it to the right. I take it to the left. I put it out. I put it in. So you are able to develop that. It's like everything. Like everything, Debbie, we can develop every skill and every muscle. It's just that this muscle is censored. It's like, don't look at there. Don't touch there. It's shameful. You know, I'm just getting so much... I feel a little sad because I mentioned to you, a friend offered me a press release and I never did this. And I'm like, oh, cool. Let's see how that goes. And then she's like, censored. And I'm like, why? Why, you know, oh, it sounds like porn. And I'm like, oh, but it's healing. So when we have that fear around our sexuality, we have shame, we have guilt, we have taboo, we have lack of knowledge. We don't even know what we have here, you know? And it's part of our bodies. The same that you do in your manicure, your hair, why don't we take care of that area? And that imagine how can transform your relationship with your beloved and with yourself. Oh my God, a huge, yes, 100% how sexuality, positive, enjoying, luscious, expressive sexuality, all of that, that freedom, how it makes you feel about yourself and your life and your body and then your partner. And it's like, oh, there's nothing like it. I think it's such a rewarding time. And you know, it's interesting. I'm just gonna be really transparent. I had an autoimmune disease for a while and it literally was shutting down my genitals. And I'll tell you something very interesting, Victoria. And that is that I am grateful today for it. And why I say that is because I had taken my sexuality so for granted. Then this happened and it, of course, became difficult. Everything became difficult. And I just retreated completely from being sexual. And it was the only way I knew because frankly, the pain of acknowledging what was happening was so great that my denial was just to like go on with my life as though sexuality didn't exist. And then I realized I'm going through life without feeling like a woman. And that is completely unacceptable. Like I'm not gonna live like that. And in the face of being told by umpteen doctors and specialists, this is the way it is. And not just myself, but many, many women have gone through this as well. This is the way it is. You're gonna have to live like this for the rest of your life. There's no cure. And I was like, F that, not on my watch. I wanna be a woman. And the beauty is that on the other side of like, taking back my health and my body and my being, I am loving sexuality in a way never before. Like now I don't take that ever for granted what is possible. So that's why I feel like this huge awakening, even on this side of things, like, oh, you're listening to what you're saying you could do and wanting to just like explore, explore, explore. Especially when you have a partner who's like, I'm open to all of this. This sounds great, right? I know, that's so amazing. And not every man is open to that. So a lot of the work I do mostly is from women. And then sometimes it gets to their men, but sometimes, you know, it's not as easy for you. So that's amazing. And I love what you said. That you were told, this is going to be life. And you said, no. Come on, look at me. Have you met it? Hey! Yeah! It is true, you know, with 17 years old, I was diagnosed with genital spine problems. I was told you cannot do mostly anything physically. And then I became a stuntwoman. So here you go. It's like sometimes they give us these labels. It's the same with these students that I mentioned that they have problems within continents. You know, sometimes they might give these balls that are metallic, but you know, it's like, it's not the same. I really recommend you on EX. And anything that is natural that can reconnect with, you know, can reconnect us with our bodies. And I'm so happy that you did that transformation because you are on fire, Debbie. Like you are like so passionate and fiery and ferocious and wild. I just love that. Thank you so much, yes. Yeah, there is no way to put that down. There is no way. No putting out the fire, juicy, juicy. Wow, so yoni, eggs, and Benoit balls. Oh boy. And then other things, yeah. And it's so great. So after 13 years of being with your husband, so you guys still have a really juicy, amazing marriage? We had to work on it. And it doesn't mean that it's perfect, okay? So I think that it's important to understand that as human beings, we are always in the process of balancing. So our health, our relationships, everything. We are in continuous transformation. So we are not always good, but we have gotten to that place that we understand each other sexually and that we are able to practice different things that we didn't before, right? With more awareness, understanding my body. You know, let me give you an example because this was such a transformation. So as I mentioned, I grew up with all these voices in my head, like sex is a sin and like being approved almost. And my grandmother telling me, women that have too much sex, they become sick. That was the idea, you know? So then I was having, you know, I'm very passionate, like you are, like very fiery. And then being with my husband, oh, and then suddenly my mind, you know, why am I so not pure? Why am I doing this? Why I desire so much? Why I get so crazy? Because truly sexuality takes us in like another state. Like it's an altered state of consciousness. We merge with our partner. We merge with everything. Time completely dissipates. So I was feeling like, my goodness, how can I do this? And not feel so impure. So finally, this was one of the changes. Imagine from having these limitations and just not being able to embrace love, love making with my beloved to now say, no, no, this is helping, let's have more, you know? Like this is really good for me. Is the best exercise, best healing energy, best bonding energy is really good. So just that change in my mind that I had dealt with for years, that was a big thing. Another thing was sexual abuse. I had not so good partners before. So healing that in that part of all of these are things that we do. And also I shared about them in my ebook. So going from that place of feeling threatened by your partner because your body remembers at a cellular level, they abuse and you don't want that. So being able to move beyond that, another thing. As a business woman being in my mind and not dedicating time to self love, self care, self pleasure, all of those things by removing those blockages. That has transformed my relationship so much. So he noticed there was like a before and after and then I taught him some things as I was learning. I'm like, okay, no, no, but let's do this, you know? And then that changed a lot. Once again, something very transformational is the way in which we women touch that is much more giving healing in general. Whereas men get like more like, oh my goodness, I'm going to take you, you know? So for them to learn how to do it a little bit different sometimes can be also very life changing. Especially with the background you're describing, Victoria, how did you learn to look in the mirror and love yourself, love what you saw? Oh my goodness, it was very interesting. I remember perfectly the moment in which this started shooting for me. So when I was about 13, people up to then, people in the street would talk to me about to insult me. After 13, they harassed me. So they were telling me how gorgeous I was all the time but it was hard for me to accept. But I noticed that because you're like, okay, well, it seems that I have something that people is liking and then they hired me in television. I started doing runway and modeling and all of this. So I understood, you know, that yes, there is this beauty and something but it really took me a while. I think that because I was in the entertainment industry that's another thing that I shared about body shame. Everybody around is perfect, you know, like there is no overweight people, there is no, to think, well, to think, yes, but not, you know, like they all look the same. They all look the same. So it feels like that's the world, you know? So full body women, which are beautiful, you don't see any until you go into a different circle of people. So for me going into a different circle of people and seeing all of that and also coming here to the US where there is a lot of people that is my color or darker, all of that has helped a lot to understand, okay, I'm not so weird, I'm not the alien one, but instead there is all this diversity, you know, that is amazing. And even with my hair, my hair, I used to wear wigs and extensions all the time. I was so afraid to show my hair because it was just not what was trendy in Spain at that time. So all these things that we put on ourselves, all these burdens that we put on ourselves as women, you know? And I think this is especially important, I just wanna say, because you are a stunning woman. I mean, your physically, your body is ridiculous, your face is ridiculous, your presence is ridiculous, which I mean in the best way. You are so noticeable in a crowd. And the reason why I'm asking this and I want people to hear this is because I have known my whole life, many stunning beautiful women, just because someone is stunning and beautiful does not mean that they walk around and feel that on the inside, right? And I- Absolutely true. It's so important. And no matter what we think or perceive we look like, really all that's important is how we talk to ourselves, treat ourselves, see ourselves in the mirror and what we say when we see that. And even what you're talking about, how to create that sacred space and just touch with such reverence and sovereignty and love, the importance. And I'm gonna start that by the way. Yes. And I'm gonna give that one to you. So for everybody hearing I want them to see this gorgeous creature, but because of what she went through all the voices between the religious shame and then the shame of you came from this culture or you have dark skin. It's like, it's insane because you are so like a goddess. And at the same time I can imagine the hurdles you must have had to go through because of what was imposed on you. You know, there is people that might not be a model, for example, but they have had a good loving, caring parents and that changes everything, you know, because they remind them how precious they are. And we all women and all men we are all precious. Like we are this droplet from the divine source and we are just precious, whatever we look like we are precious. However, we get into these stereotypes with the media and the movies and the magazines and we think that we have to look in a certain way. We look back at what was beautiful like the three graces, this painting that has three women with cellulite, just dancing so happy. There is a painting that is very famous. So they show how beauty was different. And in 10 years or 100 years or 300 years it might be different. So if we get stuck into only one shape, one kind of prototype or stereotype is good. It's just not giving us a good service. So what I recommend for women and men that are going through that is to start training our inner parent. So we have our inner child and of course we want to nurture it but there is a part of us that is our inner parent. And this part of the inner parent is the part that we inherit from our caretakers. So we want that part in us that is the voice in our heads to start telling us beautiful things no matter what. These unconditional love start speaking to us. And in that way, whether you are love making, whether you are going to an interview for a job, whether you are selling in your business, anything that our inner parent is lovingly telling you that you are amazing, that you are so worth to be loved, to be everything. So we're right here at the end, Victoria. Give me one thing. What are you next year to dream? What is a future dream or goal you have? Oh my goodness. So I'm a study of this movement of women. I want to transform. We have a certain amount of time on this earth and I feel that the only thing that we can do is to make it a little better, right? If we come to this earth, we live for some decades and we make it a better place. What I would like to do with that time is to help women to free themselves, to free their sexuality, to understand that they're not a slurry if they connect with that, that they are not arrogant if they want to exude their beauty. So just start that movement and that sex doesn't have to be censored as it is so much. So that we can not get into this distorted sexuality, but instead we can learn to just understand it's natural. We are part of nature and a foundation of nature is sexuality. Otherwise we would not be here. Thank you so much for coming on the show today. This has been really wonderful. Thank you so much, Debbie. I was so excited to meet with you. I knew that we will have something super juicy. Oh, it's juicy for sure. So if you'd like to learn more about her, VictoriaVVES.com, he would like her free book on divine femininity and sexuality. Go to the YouTube site, YouTube.com slash Debbie Daschinger as well as to find out more about URL for her static woman program highly, highly recommended. And I'm gonna end today's show with this quote from John Maxwell Taylor, which is, there is a super natural intelligence behind sexual arousal. The true purpose of which is to create for us ecstatic experiences of our own divinity. Subscribe to the Dare to Dream podcast. This is your weekly number one transformation conversation. Next week I am so excited. Theo Alfaro is coming on the show. He runs the Wolf Connection. He himself is a shaman from Argentina. And this is an educational sanctuary and wilderness retreat center that brings people together through direct relationship with rescued wolves. For the purpose of empowering the next generation to become authentic leaders and stewards of the earth, I have been to his facility and I gotta tell you it is life transforming. So we're gonna talk about his best selling book as well as about wolves in ways you have never heard this described and talked about. Thank you so much for joining us today on Dare to Dream. And remember that the secret of success is having the courage to begin to create your dream in the first place.