 the most important thing about dealing with women is to absolutely not be yourself i got very excited she's just a woman it's just a woman she's just like you and i okay american woman american woman dude doesn't this one look like train look at this guy look at this guy's face from this angle doesn't this look like train like i swear to god they they modeled this after him dude hello i am ali farman i love america it is best country in the world all right my name is little earth all right man oh shit the rapper yeah oh shit i like two of your songs those are two very good song oh oh my god what happened guys see you guys later okay i take a little nibbri nap nap that's quiet this thing out there who's that bitch go get in here bitch are you are you talking to me young man yeah get in here bitch come on well i'm usually not referred to as a bitch just get in here gilfy gilmore get in here come on my name's actually mary jane um i'm old enough to be your grandmother then i'm into gilf stew it's all good i have a lot of men that are after me never since my walter died i gotta say you're looking hella thick right now the hell's wrong with andi dude i appreciate that your your name is abdul yes i come from egypt motherland we are neighbors no we are not neighbors in donkey no i am from iran you are from egypt i sort of have been taking american geography lesson it's in in america of your neighbors my friend my kebab is your kebab that is what i always say i swear to god you say your kebab is my kebab but i'll fucking feed you my kebab right now you don't you hear me i do not want your kebab you take my kebab you don't want my kebab shut up you're messy donkey you're gonna take my kebab right now listen listen to me what the fuck y'all bickering about man i'm gonna suck both of y'all dicks take me home well i guess we just went in a circle take me home this this mister doesn't even know where he's going these mother beach they do not they do not understand the respect in america i agree with you there i was in the car and just the way they were talking around a 62 year old woman i have i was astounded why are you why why are you speaking i am a man you you wait for my turn why are you speaking why i'm speaking exactly like i am let me finish this week are talking do you have any respect i have a lot of respect for myself i don't go around showing off everything who cares you're some of these other women listen i came here to america okay for one reason one reason alone to get a white bmw to make money to get the american woman if i cannot do this i've lived here for two years i know america like the back of my hand now well then why can't she find the convention center because i moved from los santos ma'am listen to me i will go okay i have a job to get finished you you go find your husband and my husband died five years ago well you go find a new husband okay because that is your job and i will go do my job do you understand i'm interested in finding a new husband walter was the only one for me you go this way i'll go that way do you understand i understand and have a nice day sir okay no i said this no i said i go this way you go that way that way well well i wanted to go so statement i think i think ali being like moderately misogynistic is kind of funny is this you in this white shirt that's running uh hold on wave your hand oh i'm waving i'm waving okay yes that's me okay good thank you goodbye hey brother well actually we know we did this outside you you didn't say goodbye to me well i mean we're right next to each other you're on the same one i've i've said goodbye you didn't say goodbye do you want to you want to call you back so i want to apology i'm i'm sorry that i uh but i didn't say goodbye to you when i was standing right next to you okay this is bad for our first interaction for our business are you threatening me no i am i am telling you so you are this is a threat no listen to me teach me your loving ways or else what have you been struggling with you said in your own home country you had tons of women i like to snap off a finger but now you're like struggling with getting in a american women what's what's what do you think the problem is i do not know where i can find american women i've got just the gal the most important thing about dealing with women is to absolutely not be yourself women in this city they love they love power respect money very few of them love honesty let's do an exercise all right pretend that you know a woman that you find attractive okay how would you greet me you do something that is attractive to me first for me i don't know what you're attracted to that's your be be a woman just just pretend pretend okay you pretend i i i'm coming you you're a woman you're a woman okay yes you're a woman i will go i will we will act it out okay hold on all right that's the plan uh hello how are you today oh hi you uh wow hey i'm doing well how are you i am very good do you uh live here yeah yeah i just moved into the uh that apartment over there actually uh wow i live here too wow welcome to the neighborhood that's what a coincidence small world do you uh want to make a sex okay we're gonna pause it right there this is the real thing we're we're doing this a little faster than i thought it would be but you know let's do this i was i was i got very excited she's just a woman it's just a woman she's just like you and i okay american woman american woman hello ma'am how's it going i can't complain too much i'm find myself mad it lost though what are y'all up to bad you know with my friend here what's y'all's names uh mine sorry hey i'm brice and this is my name is ali i am ali farman your farmer no why sounds so nervous honey you all right you've been held hostage you got this you got this my my name is ali farman out you're in a famine no listen to me my my name is already my name is ali farman i'm sorry come again one more time please my mother bitch do you speak english do you speak english mother bitch we're gonna pause we're gonna pause his name's ali that's first name basis we're good ali we'll turn last to meet you i'm sonny sonny uh-huh it's like like that thing up in the sky like a like a play a station sonny like a what a sonny hello give me this drink give me this drink jesus oh i'm sure the lord will bless you what what do you need strength for i'm sorry i was uh yeah like like this like a pinata whatever it is you just said okay and i am i come i cannot i i i come from iran oh where are you running and no no i come from no i eat on i'm Parisian oh already i got a rug like that in my apartment yes we make a very good rug number one the best and would you like to a do i want to excuse me one moment oh already oh sidebar sidebar yeah now do i do it now uh okay get to know her first thank you first i think i know everything i need to know she is american woman why don't you like ask her to lunch i'm pretty and then like after the date then you go like hey you want to come over to my place i want to let you know i can hear over here ali would you like to go to lunch and then after the date we can make the sex oh my lanta well i'm a christian woman so i'm saving myself for my lord and savior jesus christ one day he's gonna put me to bed i know it uh but i wouldn't mind having pause did you just say you're waiting for jesus to fuck you oh like sir language but something like that yeah you know but but but you know if you want to get with my soul what so much my you know other nether regions yeah i wanted to penetrate me but but my heart you know what i mean like real deep black you know i almost feel it in my stomach because it's right in my heart all right maybe you dodged a bullet here ali how much money to make the sex all right i'm gonna let you guys just i'm gonna be over here wait am i doing it wrong how do you get to know her first you can't just beat that forward listen one girl you can be that from the city and her name's erin everybody else you gotta like actually work for it this all this is very hard i know i know do you have to pay it at four and kate with women in the city is that a thing sometimes we gotta find another woman oh my gosh what did you say your name was no there's nothing wrong with you and your excuse me leaving yourself open for jesus yeah right wide open for jesus ask her ask her lunch would you like to go to a lunch well it depends what kind of lunch i didn't i didn't think i didn't think about it what did they eat what do they like it ask her what kind of food she's interested in i can still hear y'all what what kind of food are you interested in i suppose i like kind of pretty much a little bit anything i mean i could die for a grilled cheese right about now i also really like the nuggets they're in the shape of dinosaurs those really tickle my fancy she can go to the store she said she wanted dinosaur breaded chicken but she said dinosaur they're shaped like dinosaurs they're not actually dinosaurs but then it is not like that that one soup it's got the alphabets in it i love to use that practice of you know learning how to spell and whatnot would you like to go get chicken nugget hamburger dinosaur hamburger dinosaur oh is that a thing wait are you telling me in this city there's a there's a hamburger that's also chicken in the shape of dinosaur hello sir how you doing don't mind us unless you're gonna use you're gonna use one of your you about to steal this girl you're gonna show it up wait what's happening he's dealing from the public fucking hands all you mother bitch you're you back off your mother bitch wait could you line make you what the what the damn what what the damn you say to me oh no i'm not interested mickey though he that's the guy you got to worry about the guy behind you hey you mother bitch you've talked to my woman this is my wife i don't think he's actually even said it work okay so you're not married man what's your name buddy my name is alie fairman you want to talk to my you want to talk to my wife what's an alley farmer i'm gonna tell you something i will tell you something i can tell this woman likes you but guess what when a woman likes you like that she can like you with every card in the deck and then pull a knife across your throat the next morning what you don't tell me you don't tell me for nice i don't even i don't i think i got like a butter knife but i think it's plastic actually i think it's one of those spoon fork things i don't think i'd cut anybody with it listen you take your cigarette you take it i want you to take it shove it up your ass oh my lanta language alie listen listen sugar listen i'm sure you do have a butter knife call her call her honey call her honey honey honey i bet you take that i bet you take that same butter knife and butter both sides of the bread that's the kind of girl you are well depends how much butter you want if you say you only want half the butter then i'm only gonna put it on half the sandwich oh my god this woman's a freaking ugly black it are both bad why are you filming why is he what are you doing don't mind me oh what is he doing with the camera my mama always told me i was gonna be famous but no this is pepe runny reporting live what are you doing guys try to get the uh hand from this girl trying to get a date or something what are you what are you telling the story as it develops what is happening guy i'm desperate for fucking news this is not news this is my life you are playing with interesting development he seems to be in a depression fit oh my lanta are you all right you know what i need to do whenever i'm feeling real depressed like interesting development appear to be the wingman now well i get down on my knees you know real tough lack and okay i like where this is going interesting interesting development she's about to get on her knees yes sir and then i pray to god and i tell him heavenly father would you please watch over me and all of my family members and make sure that all these scrapes i get my knees from getting on my knees so often heal real quick like that is very good that is good practice i like that we should try it sometimes do you want to get on your knees right now i can show you uh yes uh how do i okay let's uh oh oh my oh oh interesting development he's wasting no time all right well now you just repeat after me all righty okay very good all right you say dear heavenly father dear heavenly father thank you so much for giving me the ability to make all these amazing electrical rugs thank you so much for ability the ability to make the amazing electrical rock and in your honor for giving me such a unique talent i'm gonna go out and spread your word every single day and find a real nice lady friend i'ma make her my wife and in your honor i will find the american woman and lay my seat inside of her if belong here blue eyes uh nice nice uh nice personality personality a very big yeah very good as everybody likes a little junk in the trunk i guess jesus probably likes that too i'm sure you can ask him for it all right then you just go ahead and sum it up with the name in and the amen what's up congratulations that was your first career all right interesting development it depends he's given his life to god okay i'm gone for two minutes and you switch religions for this girl i don't know i just want to write he just wanted to get on his knees for jesus what's her name what's her name hold on what's her name her name is honey it is alie fairman can you hear me you bitch what the damn water you hit me in the face i didn't think you're in the face what you're talking about no abdul this this this i'm american woman she punched me american woman punch you why this uh american motherfucker women here actually punch me listen abdul i need to take this woman for food before i make the sex meter that's what my coach he was like my name that i don't he's a love coach he told me i think he's on the phone are you gonna have sex with this man oh i don't intend to take all his money and run away absolutely but where are you don't worry i'm a chief justice with your beautiful hair i'll help you i'm beautiful shoulder i'm beautiful skin i'm beautiful eyes okay not because all of this you get to call me fair listen listen you fat son of a beach if you'd lay off the cabob you this wouldn't even be an issue you know what come out come out you don't come out right now i've been fucking having it with you get out get out you want to fucking go bro listen to me listen to me no listen to me listen hey hey hey hey hey hey calm down calm down mother bitch listen to me i paid hey listen to me i will fight you i i won't fight you i will kill you listen to me i'll just take her to the courthouse you all just keep doing whatever you're doing it's real hey wait get out get out switch seats right now honey honey honey get out it was her not me take us to the take us to the hamburger oh okay wait how did he wow he's actually very athletic you're very nimble that was very impressive there you go this is exactly what you wanted burger should san andrea's avenue all right thank you don't forget the day i have no money oh um should i do that or uh no he's fine he doesn't look like an iran the ladies who are the ones who tamp and no it is fine we'll uh well i already i i guess i will i'll be there you go i've been in america for two years thank you so much and have a lovely day excuse me i'd like the lobster and the most expensive stuff on the menu