 Hey, how's it going champ? Working remotely or remotely working? How has that remote work been by the way? Oh, it's been good. Um Well, you gotta come back to the office. I know you've been really productive at home But you just gotta come back people have been missing those water cooler Conversations that are just really important. You know with remote work You lose that human connection like it's so much easier for me to see what you're doing when I could just look over your Shoulder look it'll be fun. I'll let you smoke in the bathroom We're gonna have tequila Tuesdays whiskey Wednesdays Xanax Thursdays. It'll be great I bought a ton of pizzas for the break room. I mean I left him open and a bunch of animals got into it But then I thought Petting zoo. We've got squirrels in there. There's pigeons possum I saw a couple coyotes hanging outside the office So I'm gonna leave down a pepperoni trail to get them inside. Oh your maternity leave Why don't you just bring the kid to the office? They'll love the petting zoo. Oh, we can put him to work No, that's not child labor. It'd be baby labor. We really value your mental health during this transition So that's why I transformed Dave's cubicle into a soundproof scream room. I hate the office. I hate the office I hate being here. I hate the office. Did you hear that? Okay, I mean it's not completely soundproof yet, but we're working on it. It's a proof of concept gosh We do so much for you and if it's not perfect, you don't appreciate it I captured 13 more animals for the petting zoo today. What have you done for this company? I've been trying to teach the animals how to work, but they're just not getting it a raise Arrays the only rays around here are gonna be the rays of sunlight beaming down on us when we work on the roof During martini Mondays. No people don't need more money. They need more fun Okay, so Dave falls off the roof on martini Monday one time and now you're suddenly concerned about safety Oh, you're gonna tell HR. Well, I have an infinite human resource on my side. It's called love. Look, I'm reasonable I get it commuting is a pain in the butt. So that's why I set up bunk beds in the copy room We could just all stay the night. We never have to leave use the netting though because of the animals Also, I've taken the liberty of changing your official address to the office That way you can maintain some of that work from home feel look everyone is shit-faced and there are animals everywhere It's like the perfect office culture Seriously, I need you back in the office right now. The animals have broken out of the petting zoo. Dave is gone He's gone. Look if you can't come in, we're just gonna have to hire a few freelancers Not like designers or something just someone with a spear who can get the coyotes unsafe Oh, it's unsafe. Well, someone told me that Tony is coming over to your house to beat you up So it's actually safer in the office. No, I didn't make that up. It's just what I heard No, I forgot who told whatever happens. The last thing you should do is work from home I mean, I rather have you do no work in the office than do work at home The coyotes are at the door. I think this is it for me The boss goes down with this office. Tell my wife that I oh Wait, you're quitting? Well, I guess now you have a lot more free time to come into the office I've been trying to teach the animals how to work, but they're just not getting it