 Hello everyone, I am Narc Survivor, welcome to my YouTube channel. Before I begin, please hit the thumbs up button down below. Hit subscribe and click all notifications to be notified when I upload a new video. And if you would like to book a one on one coaching session with me, you can go to my website, it is Narc Survivor.co.uk. The person you knew no longer exists. You saw a different side of them at the beginning of the relationship, this amazing, wonderful side of them that you liked and seemed to connect with, who seemed to care about you enough to invest their own time and energy into you, but then they gradually began to change until they started to pull away and then there wasn't much communication to the point where they would even ghost you for several days, which left you longing and yearning for them, and you may even have become addicted to them, even though you may have recognized that they're not a good person and that they're not helping you to grow or to become a better version of yourself, but you will still stay stuck to where you're longing and yearning for them, because you're remembering this other side of them when it no longer exists, because they use different masks. They had a false image that they displayed to you, which they can adjust and change depending on the people that they're around, so you may have seen one side to them, but then their family and friends will see a different side, when really they're just projecting a fake persona. They're pretending to be a person that they're not, which is typical behavior of criminals, con men, and even politicians. They're projecting an image of how they want to be seen and perceived, because they want you to see them as this amazing and wonderful person, rather than who they actually are, and the simplest way to identify this is by recognizing that if that other side of them was really who they are, then they would be that way with you now, but they're not because it wasn't even real. It was a shared fantasy, a figment of your imagination, but it may have appeared to be real because they're master manipulators. They're more concerned about their image than anything else, on how they appear to other people, whether it's as someone who is desirable and attractive, or someone who is powerful and important. But even if people don't see them that way, as long as that's how they feel about themselves, they don't really care, because they also have an internalized image that is based on the past successes of their manipulation, so they can do things that cause you to view them differently, and yet they will still view themselves as a good person, as though their actions do not impact their character, which is how you should know that the side of the narcissist that you fell in love with was not actually who they are. That side of them doesn't even exist. They are an empty shell who wears different masks in order to manipulate and deceive you, so they will wear a mask and get you to fall in love with them, often by reflecting your own qualities and virtues back to you. So really, you're just falling in love with a projected image of yourself, but you think that it's them because of the mask they're wearing and the image they're projecting, because you don't separate the mask and the false image from who they actually are, and instead all you see is your common interests and ideals, where they suddenly start listening to the same music as you do, and their hobbies become the same as yours, so you start to think you have this amazing connection, as though you're soulmates and you're meant to be together, and there's no one else who you can connect with on this level, because they constructed and invented this character, and it was tailor-made to your personal interests and ideals. They married back to you your own likes and dislikes. They brought together different parts and pieces of how they need to act, behave and appear in any given moment to intercept, hook and capture you by studying, learning and then knowing exactly what it is that you would want to see, exactly what it is that would grab your attention and prevent you from focusing on anything else, because that's all that it was. It was just a means of getting you to notice them, so that you would focus your attention on them. It doesn't go any deeper than that, which is why with time, and especially if you stop engaging with them in the same as you did before, you will notice that the mask begins to fall to pieces, and they appear to be a very different person from who you originally thought they were, until you begin to doubt yourself and you wonder what is actually real. What is actually the truth about this person? Because how they behave in now does not line up with what was initially revealed to you, so now you wonder if everything was a lie, because it's like they've been leading two different lives, it's like they're two completely different people, and the real person you thought you knew is not even real, because it's not real, it's only real as long as you continue to validate it, without your validation it all falls apart, because it doesn't even exist, which is the most difficult thing to accept in these relationships, because it means that your trust has been betrayed, and you've been falling in love with someone who doesn't even exist, because it was nothing more than a projected image, it's no different to a movie scene, where it's directed and orchestrated, and they plan and coordinate the elements of a situation to produce the desired effect, which can make it appear believable and convincing, when really it's all just projections, they present an image to you, which you then view as reality, and then you unconsciously transfer your own desires and emotions onto them, which they then reflect back to you, and you then estimate and forecast future situations based on the study of present ones, when what you're experiencing with them in the present isn't even real, it doesn't even exist, because it's just a representation, you're simply imagining that they feel a particular emotion or want something, when in fact it is you who feels that way, based on what they're reflecting back to you, when all they're reflecting back to you is an image of yourself, your own qualities, virtues and ideals, which they don't even appreciate or value themselves, so it's no different to watching a movie, it's orchestrated in a way to pull in your heartstrings, to make you think and imagine something, when in reality those characters in the movie don't even exist, they're not really there, even while the image may be there, and your feelings and emotions may be there, but they're not there, because the character you fell in love with doesn't even exist, that version of them was nothing more than a fabrication, a concoction of bits and pieces taken from movies, celebrities and their past sources of supply, to make them look better in society, by conforming to a particular set of characteristics and qualities, so that they could feel, appear and act in the way that they would prefer, to slide under the radar and continue doing what they want to do, while abusing you at the same time, you fell in love with a deceptive outward appearance, that was maintained to conceal a less pleasant and less creditable reality, and the saddest part about it is when you realise that you've fallen in love with something that doesn't exist, and these false ideas and beliefs have been implanted in your mind, to make you act to respond in the way that they want to do too, for their personal benefit and advantage over you, which is why you need to completely recognise and accept the reality that you're in, even though that reality may include pain or discomfort, because although you may have said that they love you, although they may have said that they love you, they also abuse you the entire time, so you need to stop responding to your emotions, and instead look at the facts, because that's the only way that you're going to wake up and realise what you were actually dealing with, because the entire time they belittled you, they made you feel less than, they made you feel insignificant, to where you felt like you weren't deserving of anything, but then you also had to keep up the image and appearance, to make her look like you were having a good time, even though you weren't, you felt empty and hopeless, and you were so upset and embarrassed that you had to cope by numbing your emotions, because they were constantly raising at you over any little thing you said or did, but until now you may not have truly accepted the situation for what it was, and instead you told yourself a lie and a story, because you were holding on to the hope that maybe their false character will return, when that's never going to happen, because that version of them doesn't exist, it was fabricated to manipulate and mislead you, and it will be recreated for the next person and the person after that, because they're never honest or sincere, and this is why they don't change, because they're never honest, which is how you then fell for their false image, while longing and dueling for their return, and it's why nothing is going to change, and it's never going to get better, because that version of them doesn't exist, thank you for watching, if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up, share your thoughts in the comment section, hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications, if you would like to support the channel, you can donate at paypal.me-survivor, you can book a one-on-one with me on my website, it's narcsurvivor.co.uk, thank you for watching, and I'll talk to you soon