 What kind of stories do you want to live? What kind of women do you want to bring into your life and in what capacity? And that's what I want to talk to you guys about is having some choice and some direction in that. Does that sound good? Only for you? Just me and him. We'll just have a little chat. I know you're British, but come on you can say something. Say, oh jolly good. All right, fair enough. So the five stages that I see as being functional and healthy in terms of going through relationship cycles is and there's of course many variations. I'm not here to say that you cannot have, you know, relationships with an inanimate object because some people do. But what I think it's good to go through is inactive single, get that shit out of the way, never return to it ever again. Active single. And this is where you are single by choice. You don't have a long term girlfriend. You're out there meeting a bunch of girls, testing yourself, finding out what you like, learning about yourself in relation to women and hopefully getting laid once in a while. Right? And that's where most guys are probably at, at this point. But from there, are we going to just go inactive single, active single, monogamous happily ever after? Highly unlikely. You need to understand that you will be going through cycles of relationships in your life. And if you do it skillfully, then it means that each stage of relationship that you shift through will be positive. Not only for you, but for the woman or women that you're involved with. If you stay in one part of the cycle far too long, then you'll end up hating each other. Who's been in a long-term relationship for about 40 to 50 percent more time than they should have been? Yeah. Any friends with that girl now? Oh, you are? Well done. Yeah, I have been as well. It takes, you know, takes counseling. It takes patience. Most relationships die well before the participants admit it and having the ability to go This is no longer working. We should cut and run now is a fundamental of being a good seducer. Learning how to break up with girls, how to separate when the time has come is really important and to move on to the next cycle. So from there, active single, we move into multiple relationships. This is where you can date and have actual relationships with more than one girl at a time without the need to lie to her or give the impression that you're offering something that you're not. Because there is another way, the way the player, which is where you just go out, pick up a chick, have sex with her, kind of give you the impression that, baby, after some time, once I get over my last relationship and so on, I'll be yours. And then do that to another girl and another girl, and so you have a bunch of girls who think that you might be their boyfriend. And where does that end up? Getting caught. Yes, getting caught. It ends with mess and slashed tires and broken plates and screaming, I thought you love me and all that kind of shit, which is dirty. We don't want to get involved in that. So the way the player is unnecessary and it's stupid because the presupposition behind it is that all women want to be your girlfriend, which is a very arrogant thing to think. I remember early on when I was experimenting with the multiple relationship paradigm, I thought I'd better tell girls straight away. So I picked this girl up on a trashy one night stand. We had, you know, that animal pornographic sex you can only have with somebody you're never going to see again. And afterwards I said, oh, I should just let you know that I'm not looking for anything serious. And she's just looked at me and said, I don't even know what your name is. I'm going to go now. Yeah. And I was a bit of a wake up call. Oh, I've just been used for sex. Nothing. So don't presume that all women want to be your girlfriend because we are sold this myth that women use sex to get relationships, essentially, which is not true. They do do that sometimes, for sure. But a lot of the times women will use men for sex. There's a whole range of bizarre motivations that lead to a woman deciding to have sex with a man. She's bored. She just wants to get revenge on her boyfriend. She's trying to procrastinate from an essay she's supposed to write. You happen to remind her of some weird father figure from when she was a child. God knows what. But it's not or it's not necessarily because she wants to be in a relationship with you. From that fourth stage, we tend to move into a primary secondary situation, which is where one of these girls that you've been dating tends to rise in importance. You really like them. They really like you. You guys have some kind of open deal, but most of your attention is focused in on that one person. And then from there, we move into monogamy, which I do not think is a bad thing. I have done 10 hard years of monogamy with three girls in my adult life, and I learned a lot about myself during that period. This is the time when you'll learn about what really makes a woman work, how relationship dynamics work, understanding compromise, understanding how to keep a relationship vital, becoming a really good lover. There's a lot of great things that come out of monogamous relationships, and there's also a lot of awful things that can happen where people become codependent, they lose their friends, their identity, they get bored, complacent, they put on weight, et cetera, et cetera. So I'm not here to suggest one of these models over another. What I'm here to suggest to you is that you consider what phase of relationships you would like to move into and why. A very wise Ukrainian woman once said to me, when a woman has 10 men, she has one man. What does that mean? Any ideas what that means? That bit of Slavic Zen wisdom. Nothing? Come on, give her a shot. Just the first thing that comes to mind, someone's thinking something and they're just a bit scared to say it, then she gets full attention. We're on the right track. What she's really saying here is that a woman has a whole lot of needs that are met by men. And if she can find one man that fulfills all those needs, then she will likely want to hold on to him and only him. If she can't, which is often the case, she will find enough men to fulfill her needs. And all women do this. Do not be sold on the lie that there are sluts and good girls. That there are certain girls who would never do that, whatever that is. This is not true. What there is is girls at different phases in their life who are after different things. The same girl throughout her adult sexual life will go from possibly an experimental phase when she's a teenager and her sexual boundaries, she's starting to test them, she'll go out and fuck a bunch of guys or sleep with some older guy to teach her a few lessons. And then she'll have one of those... her first relationship when she's say 20 to 23, move in with a guy, see what that's all about, then she might cheat on him with his best friend and then she might go out, be really focused on her career and her studies, not have time for any of that shit, but want to have sex with a guy that she considers to be her friend once a month. Then she might go off travelling to Ibiza and get gang banged by a football team and then come back to London and wait nine dates before she sleeps with a guy that she becomes the girlfriend of. This is the same girl. And in her mind, that's all completely logical because she felt like doing that at the time because those were the needs that she needed met. Now if you go in there with the idea that there are tarts and strumpets and then there are ladies, then you will set up those roles. In the initial story that I talked about, this guy only knew one role to play in a woman's life, which was husband essentially. That's all he knew how to do. So he meets this girl, they have this beautiful, amazing short affair and then he fucks it up by going and bringing her a bunch of flowers and professing he is undying love to her because he was trying to force her into the only role that he knows how to deal with a woman in, which is to be my only love. And we slapped him about and he learnt very quickly that there are other roles and he enjoyed those much more.