 That's the number one question you should ask on a first date. Tons of options available with just one more swipe to find that butterfly effect that we're chasing leads us to partners that really aren't healthy for us. Because just because someone evokes butterflies on the first date doesn't mean that they're a good fit long term for you either. I think that we don't look for the right qualities. We don't value enough qualities like the character qualities, flexibility, emotional stability, ability to connect, ability to be present, ability to be vulnerable, ability to be responsive, compassion, empathy. And you can't know that on a first date about someone. Like you really have to get to know them a little bit before you can get inklings of what capacity they have for a satisfying relationship with you. Look at the human being sitting in front of you and say, how do I feel when I'm around this person? Do I feel calm? Do I feel happy? Do I feel seen? Do I feel understood? Do I have fun with this person? That's enough for a second date right there.