 If you cut contact with him or you stop talking to him, you stop texting him, you go no contact, or let's say you just give him some space, will he miss you? And if he doesn't, what can you do about it? Or if you're not in a situation where he would miss you, what can you do about it? Hello, my name is Matthew Coast, and today we're gonna be talking about whether he'll miss you or not if you cut contact with him and I'll share a technique for making a man more attracted to you while doing less work. That would be nice, wouldn't it? I'll also share a text message that you can send to him that has a 98% response rate. So most women that send this to him, the overwhelming majority get a response back even a lot of times when the guy doesn't even like her. So he might not like you and you can send him this text and you'll still respond back to you, almost guaranteed, almost guaranteed. And so let's get started here. Will he miss you? So the real question about whether he'll miss you if you cut contact or not is how much does he like you? And so the more that he likes you, the more likely he is to miss you no matter what, no matter how much time you spend together, no matter what you've done together, no matter how much invested he is. If he likes you, if he really, really is attracted to you, if he really likes you, then he'll miss you. And the less that he likes you, the less likely he is to miss you no matter what you've done together, no matter how much you've hung out with each other. If he doesn't have a high level of interest, then he probably won't miss you, right? If his interest level is really, really low. And so what can you do about it? Really the first question that you should ask yourself is should you do something about it? So hear me out on this one. So how low is his level of attraction and interest in you? And you can really tell a man's, I've got videos about this, but you can really tell a man's interest level more than anything else by how much he's investing in you, how much he's pursuing you, how much he's calling you, how much he's trying to hang out with you, how much he's willing to cancel plans to hang out with you, how much he's willing to go out of his way in order to be with you. And so the higher his interest level is, the more likely he is to miss you. And the lower it is, the less likely is, right? And so if his attraction level is really, really low and his investment level is really, really low, then cutting off contact with him isn't gonna matter because he's probably gonna disappear anyway, right? And if it's really that low, there might not be anything that you can really do about it anyway, because there has to be a certain level, like there's a lot that we talk about in the dating advice community about kind of making a man miss you or making a man fall in love with you. But if a guy has absolutely no feelings for you, it's pretty much a lost cause. He has to have some kind of emotional connection and investment and interest in you in order to build it and grow it. If there's nothing there, you can't build and grow it, right? It's like trying to start a fire when there's no wood, right? You can't start a fire if there's nothing there to start with. There has to be something there initially if you wanna build and grow that fire. And so the question is, what's his level of attraction and how invested is he in your situation? If his interest level is too low and his investment is too low, then you're really just wasting your time. But if his interest level is low, but he once was high and his investment is high, then there may still be something that you can do about it, right? And if you're in the initial kind of dating phases, because I'm not sure where you are specifically, but tell us in the chat right now where you are specifically as far as like dating the guy, if it's new or whether you're trying to get an ex back or what your situation is, just let us know and we can talk about it some more. So if his interest level is medium or above, there's almost certainly something that you can do about it. And so what do you do? By the way, if you're here with us right now, say hi in the chat and tell us where in the world you're watching this from. It's so cool to see all these women from all over the world watching these live streams. So what can you do about it? How can you build his attraction and desire so that if you did cut things off or if you went away or you weren't texting him, he actually misses you and he wants to be around you and he thinks about you and he's like, I wanna be back together with her. That would be nice, wouldn't it? So let's talk about what you can do. And I'm gonna share a technique today. It's called connection cycling. And this technique is really, really awesome. Think about this. How cool would it be if you could actually control how much love, attraction and desire that your man has for you? Wouldn't that be valuable to you? I think it would. So let's talk about connection cycling. There's four different parts to it. There's four parts to connection cycling. The first one is connection. So the first part is connection. You're connecting with him in some way. So he either reaches out to you or you reach out back to him or you're reaching out to him for the first time. Depends on the situation, right? Depends on where you are and how long it's been since you've talked to him or if you've even talked to him yet or not. And so how do you reach out to him in an attractive way, in a way that almost guarantees that he will respond? There's really two different elements that you wanna have in a really good text message that you send to a guy where there's a really high probability chance that he's going to respond. And the first one is that you want there to be some kind of curiosity element. Like he doesn't know what you're going to say but he's really interested in it. And the second component is you want it to have something to do with him. So curiosity about what you're gonna say and it has something to do with him. If you have those two elements in a text message that you send to a guy, there's a really high probability chance that he's gonna respond. And so what's a good text message that you can send to a guy? Here it is. Do you know what I like about you? So that's the text message you send. Do you know what I like about you? And when you send that to a guy even if he doesn't like you, he probably will still wanna know what it is that you like about him, right? And it's got those two elements. He's curious like what she's gonna say and two, it's about him, right? And even if like, let's say that you guys have been fighting and you guys have been fighting a whole lot and you're like, okay, well, I wanna reconnect with him. You could say something like, hey, I know we have kind of been, had a lot of arguments and fights recently but let me ask you something. Do you know what I like about you, right? And if you do that, if you send him that there's a really good chance that he's gonna be like, okay, right? Cause you're kind of breaking this pattern that you guys might have of fighting and arguing and you're creating kind of this new slate, right? And it's like this new beginning. It's you're creating a pattern that maybe he's not used to having you send to him. And so all of a sudden he's like, wait, what's going on here? And so there's kind of this myth out there. I wanna bust a myth real quick. And there's this myth out there that you shouldn't let a man know that you like him. That is a myth. You absolutely should let a man know that you like him. However, the truth is, is that you should make a man think that you're not completely sold on him yet. And this has been proven over and over again through research studies that the more confusion or uncertainty that a man has around how much you like him, the more he'll feel attracted to you. And so you can tell a man that you like him, but you don't want him to feel like you're completely sold on him yet. You want there to be some doubt in his mind or uncertainties, not sure. Well, she likes me, but I'm not really sure how much, right? I'm not sure that she's sold on me. So it's okay to say, do you know what I like about you? It's totally fine. It's actually a really, really great thing. And so what do you say after that, right? So you send him this text message and you're like, do you know what I like about you? And he's like, what, right? Tell me, or maybe he might even say something funny if he's a really funny guy. And so here's what you wanna do. When you send the next text message, you want to frame his behavior. I talk about framing in my Love Frames Toolkit. Well, here's what you wanna do. You wanna say something, you wanna frame some kind of behavior of him being a gentleman or him being kind and considerate or him being something that you like, right? Like a behavior that you really like in his. So don't talk about his arms or his hair or his back or anything like that. Talk about behaviors of his and frame it as something that is really attractive to you. So I really think it's attractive how you always open doors for me when we're hanging out with each other or I think it's really cool and I think it's really hot how kind and considerate you are to wait staff whenever we go out. Or I just, I think it's really sexy whenever you talk about whatever subject he knows about and how smart you are about that, right? So you want to frame some kind of behavior of his that you like as an attractive or sexy or really hot behavior that he has that you like. And if you can't think of anything, you can't think of anything that you like about him in terms of behaviors, then you're probably with the wrong man, just saying. Just saying, you might be with the wrong guy if you can't think of anything here, right? And then once you say that, the next thing that you do to continue this conversation is to flip it. And so we're going back over this again. Do you know what I like about you? Frame some kind of behavior and then flip it. And flipping it looks like this. You say, your turn, what do you like about me? Smiley face. And so what you're doing here if he decides that he wants to play into this game is that you start creating a rationalization in his mind because when he starts talking about things that he likes about you, what starts happening is he starts thinking in his mind about things that he associates positively with you, right? And he starts rationalizing that he does like you and that he likes you even more. And so this can work no matter where you, what stage you are with a man. You can say this and you can do this and you can turn it into a game that you guys play and it can be a lot of fun. And you can take this and do it for a long time. You can do it for weeks. You can do it for months. You can do it for hours. You can do it for however long you want to and it can become a really fun game that makes him focus on all the things that he likes about you and builds up this image of you in his mind so that he likes you more and more and more and rationalizes it. Okay, so can you see how valuable that text message would be if we didn't talk about anything else on this, on this live stream, could you see how valuable that text message would be if you used it with a guy? Say yes, if you have, if you get what I'm talking about, say I get it in the chat. If you don't get what I'm talking about, you can ask your questions or if you have questions about your situation, you can ask those too. Okay, so number two, second part of connection cycling is something that I call positive shared experiences. And so you wanna stay away from all the negative stuff out there, right? Cause I get these women, I had this woman come to me not too long ago, where she was talking about how she was constantly in these fights and she was attacking this guy and she was calling him all these names and doing all this stuff. And she wants to know how to get him to come back to her. And I'm like, if you've been attacking a guy like that and doing that for a long period of time, it's really, really difficult because you've created these associations around yourself, these negative associations. You're starting to associate anger, rage, negativity. So when he sees her, what ends up happening is he immediately starts getting angry. He immediately gets upset. He immediately gets mad or whatever, right? And instead, you want him to get excited. You want him to feel love. You want him to feel like he can't wait to grab you and hold you in his arms again and just kiss you all over the body like, right? That's what you want, isn't it? Wouldn't that be great? So that when he just thinks about you, he's just, he just can't wait to just see you and he just feels so great about you. Isn't that something that you'd like? I hope so. I hope so. So what do you do instead? What do you do instead? How do you do less work and create more attraction, more desire, more love for you? How do you do that? Let's talk about that right here. So here's what you want to do. Focus on what it is that he wants and needs and not what you want to give to him. And so I hear women complaining all the time. They'll come on my page or they'll be in my community and they'll be like, I'm giving everything to a man and he's taking me for granted, right? And it's like the screen, right? Cause you can just feel the pain. It's really painful. I haven't been in that situation before, thankfully, but I can just imagine how painful that would be if you're giving every thought, you're giving everything to somebody and they're taking you for granted. And here's the reason why that happens because you're giving all the wrong things to him. So if you're giving him the wrong things, it doesn't matter how much you give to him. If you're giving him the wrong thing, he's not going to feel loved. He's not going to feel better about you. He's not going to feel more attracted to you. And so you have to only give him the things that he wants because if you give him all these other things and he doesn't want those things, it doesn't matter, right? And it's the same thing with men with women. There's something out there called the love languages, right? And if your love language is really high with like physical touch and words of affirmation where you like it when guys like give you massages and tell you how pretty you are, but really low, you don't like getting gifts, right? Like it's nice, but it's not like it doesn't make you feel loved. And a guy comes over and he's constantly buying you gifts. It doesn't matter how many gifts he buys you because you're not going to feel loved through that. And so what he needs to find out is what it is that you actually want. And you can do the love languages way. There's a quiz out there that you can take. I do recommend the love languages stuff it's really good stuff, but there's an even better way to do it in my opinion. There's a much, much better way to do it so that you're not relying on these kind of grand categories. And instead you find out exactly what it is that he wants. And most men don't need much. Most men do not need much. And so instead you want to give him only what he needs and desires that way you become the primary source of positive emotion in him. So how do you find out what it is that he wants and needs? Here's how you do it. You ask him and you ask him this question. You say, what makes you feel loved? What makes you feel loved? This is actually a question that I have in my long distance allure program about how to make a man crave you in a long distance relationship. And this works really, really well. Just ask him what makes you feel loved. And he'll tell you, most guys will tell you what makes them feel loved. And you just want to make mental notes of that. And you can classify it, right? Categorize it, right? When I feel loved when this happens or that happens. If he says, when somebody takes care of me or somebody does this for me, you can kind of look at it and say, okay, what's happening there? Is it this? Is it that? And then you can give him more of that type of a thing. And you're more likely to make him feel really positive emotions when he's around you. Because what we typically do is we like to give to other people what we like to get. So for instance, my primary love language is physical touch. So I love it when people touch me. Like if I go out and I talk to you, I'm likely to grab your shoulder and give you a hug. And that kind of a thing and pat you on the back and like all that kind of stuff, right? Cause I just love touching people and I love people touching me. And there's a lot of people that don't like touch, right? There are a bunch of people out there that do not like touch. And so you have to be aware of that. And you have to see what people like and what they don't like and maybe ask them questions about it. That way you're not giving to them what you want but they don't want, right? You need to find out what they want and then give that to them. So that's not going to be a dead horse here anymore than that. So you can do everything for him and hope that it works or you can do less work and make him feel more attracted to you. So think about it. Doing less work is a better plan. Wouldn't you agree? Wouldn't you agree that doing less work is a better plan? So here's what I want you to do next. We've got two more but answer this in the chat. What is the best lesson that you have learned about dating? I wanna know what is the best lesson that you have ever learned about dating? Answer that in the chat. All right, so number three. Number three is give him space. This is step three of connection cycling. Number one is connection. Number two is positive shared experiences. Number three is giving him space. So I have a metaphor out there that I talk about sometimes, which is a song. You hear a great song, right? You hear, you have like this song that you hear and the first time you hear, you're like, oh my God, I love this song. It's the best, right? And you start listening to it. Maybe you put it on your phone or something and start listening to it on repeat. You're listening to it all the time. You're like, yeah, I love this song, right? But if you listen to it over and over all day long, every day for weeks, eventually it just starts losing its grandioseness, right? It loses how special it is. It's not as interesting to you anymore. But if you stop listening to that song and you have a little bit of time between then and when you hear it again, let's say it comes up on the radio a week later or something, you're like, yeah, this is my song again, right? And the reason that is is because there's some distance between them, right? And so it created more value for that song when you hear it again. And so it's kind of the same thing, right? You want to be his favorite song, but you don't want to play yourself out when you're around him. Instead, you want it to be far more exciting and the best way to do that is to create some space. You can't miss you if you're in front of them all the time. And so what do you do during that time? You take up some hobbies and you talk with friends and you build connection with others so that this guy isn't the only place that you're getting your connection from. You want to get your connection from lots of places because if something weird happens with him, then it'll completely devastate you if you're not getting connection from other places. So you want to get connection from all around in your life. If you give a man space, you'll become more valuable to him when you're around and even when you're not around. And you'd rather be a lot more valuable to him than less valuable to him. Wouldn't you agree? I hope so. If you're saying yes right now, make sure that you give him space before he needs it. Before he needs it. I call it the scarcity principle. And you will become more valuable if you give him some space and he desires you and he likes you and he thinks you're amazing. So you're giving him some space there. Number four, right? Connection cycling. Number four is repeat. And so what you want to do is repeat this whole cycle again, connect with him again, positive shared experiences again, give him space again, repeat. And you just do that over and over and over again and you build a really powerful connection and obsessive like connection with him. And if you want to learn more about how to do that, check out my program at commitmentconnection.com forward slash obsession. And you can check out that program and build just an obsessive like love, a healthy, healthy obsession, kind of love connection with him. So answer this question in the chat before we go to question and answer, answer this in the chat. Do you think it's possible for someone to love two people at the same time? Do you think it's possible that somebody loves two different people, somebody's in love with two different people at the same time? Tell us in the chat, what do you think? What do you, what do you think? Lots of people say hello from all over. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. Chicago Burbs. Nancy says, I was six years with him. He started to work out East again, but I don't even know where is that? I offered to join him, but he said no. He cheated on his wife and I'm worried he is doing it to me. I mean, there's people living patterns, right? When you hear that somebody cheated on somebody else, you, that's a pattern and that it should be a very big red flag for you and concerning for you and make you wonder whether this is something that you really want to be a part of or not from that. And so yeah, I'd be concerned about that as well. I'd be concerned about it as well, Louisiana. Facebook user anonymous says, hi, Matthew, I'm in New York City. Just curious at this point, don't really want to get my ex back. He recently reached out to me, okay. Okay, okay. Nancy says, it's been a week that we haven't spoken because we had a fight. He has a bad temper. What should I say? Well, Nancy, you're the one who has this going on with this guy. I mean, you need to have a real conversation with this man, Nancy. That's what you need to do is you need to sit him down. You need to have a real conversation with him. I mean, he like disappears for a long time. He stops talking to you for a while. You just need to have a real conversation with him and just talk to him about what's going on and just get a, you know, how long have you guys been seeing each other? What have you been doing? Are you in a committed relationship? If you're not in a committed relationship, my suggestion is that you start seeing other people start building your connection with other people and other things in your life. Doreen says, tell him you might be pregnant. Don't do that. Don't do that. That is a bad way to go. It's a bad way to go, Doreen. I don't know what kind of bad advice are you spreading around here, Doreen? It's just a bad idea. Jeanette says, what does means if boyfriend unblocked? I'm not sure what you're saying there. So he unblocked. Well, I mean, what you were blocked and then he unblocked you. I'm more concerned about the fact that he blocked you and that you think he's your boyfriend. If he's blocking you, he's probably not really your boyfriend. Just gonna throw that out there. And if he is, then he's probably super immature and you need to start rethinking what kind of men you're dating. Truth 3Y3Seek says, we tell each other, we like one another all the time. We playfully banter like a couple of kids. Yeah, I mean, that's awesome. Truth 3Y3Seek, that's really awesome because love is about being playful. It's about connecting. It's about having fun. It's about all these things. It's not serious. It's not angry. It's not any of those things. It's about being playful. And it's important that you keep that up, right? If you keep that up through the relationship, that's how you build and grow it and you keep that spark and you keep that love and you keep all those things that you really want in the relationship long-term. That's how you do it, is you keep that stuff that you bring from the beginning. Truth 3Y3Seek says, I tell him how he makes me when he's so passionate about cooking. Okay. Okie dokie. Okie dokie. Okie dokie. Lots of people, get it, get it, get it. Get it, get it, get it. Yes, yes, yes, I get it, yeah. Yeah, I get it. Stephanie Collins says, yes, I get it. Does it work if you haven't talked for about a month? Yeah, I mean, you can send him that. You know, if you haven't talked to a guy in about a month, you might want to send him something else as a conversational starter. There's some other things that you can send him. I have a, it's called a hey stranger text. And basically you just say, hey stranger, how are you doing, right? And it's basically just starting up the conversation again. You can use that, you can use, you might not want to use this because it's been so long since you've talked to him, but you can definitely use it in the conversation after the, you know, after you've talked for a little bit. That's definitely a great way to do it, right? Like the, do you know what I like about UTex? It's great for a lot of different scenarios to build kind of that connection, to build your likes with each other, to build how much you guys really bond and see each other as great, amazing people that you want to be with. Louis says, what if you're leaning back because it's always you start in contact and his left you on red for two weeks, taking me a lot to go this long without contacting him. Will this send all my hard work down the drain? Well, first Louis, here's what I want to mention about this, right? Cause I get a lot of different people that are kind of confused about different things. The question is he left you on red, but what did he leave on red, right? Cause sometimes women will come to me and they're like, well, we ended a conversation and he left me on red and it's like, well, if it was at the end of a conversation, it's not that big of a deal. If you send him a question, right? Like I have a program, it's called Irresistible Text. And in my Irresistible Text program, you can get it at commitmentconnection.com forward slash text. And in my Irresistible Text program, one of the things I talk about is this idea of text messages that are worth replying to. And so if you sent him a text message where you asked him a question or something that deserved a reply, it deserved an answer and he left you on red, that's very different than if he just left you on red and it was the end of a conversation that you guys were having. And now it's been two weeks. So there's a lot of concern that I have, Louis, about what's been going on in that two weeks, what are you doing in that two weeks? You know, what kind of a relationship you guys have? If you guys are just dating each other, which I'm just gonna assume that you are, because if you're in a committed relationship, there's nothing better than having real conversations. If you're in an actual committed relationship where it's just the two of you, it's not, I'm not talking about boyfriend, girlfriend, I'm not talking about, you know, dating, I'm talking about being in a committed relationship. If you guys are in a committed relationship, you should have a real conversation and talk to him about what's going on with him and all that kind of stuff. If you guys are just dating right now, there's one of those things where sometimes we'll get women that are like, they're like, oh, you know, this man ghosted me, right? And it turns out that they kind of both ghosted each other because if you're both waiting for the other person to contact each other, then who really ghosted who? Right? What's really going on there? And so if it's been two weeks, and let's say, let's even say that he left you on red because you asked a great question, but he ignored your question, but you still wanna talk to him and you're in this situation, it's been two weeks. After two weeks, you can send him another message. It's okay. Here's what you wanna be careful of though, Louise, is you wanna be careful that you're not chasing him. So it's okay to send out like breadcrumbs, right? Sending him breadcrumbs where he follows the breadcrumbs and he's chasing after you. What's not okay is that you start doing everything and setting up the dates and doing all that stuff. What I talked about at the beginning of this video was how to know if a guy really likes you. And the way that you know this is by his investment. How much is he investing in you? How much is he pushing things forward? How much is he pushing to meet up with you? How much is he pushing to talk to you? If he's not doing it very much, he might not like you that much. And so if it's been a while and you guys were having great conversations and things just kind of died off, you can send him a text message and it's not a big deal. But you want him to start investing and you want him to start moving forward. You want him to start pushing for a meetup. If you don't do that, if he doesn't start doing those things, then you know that he just doesn't like you that much. And I'm just gonna assume that you guys are at more of the initial phases of dating. And so you're saying, taking me a lot to go this long without contacting him, will this send all my hard work down the drain? No, I mean, after two weeks, it starts going, okay, are we even dating anymore? Is there even anything going on here anymore? After two weeks, it's okay. It's okay to send him a message and not worry about it. It's okay. And if you don't want to, that's okay too. Doreen says, value yourself first. I agree, Doreen. I agree with you, Doreen. Becky says, he keeps wanting reassurance. How do I go about it as it's repetitive? Yeah, I mean, that's a difficult thing because really what reassurance means is that he's insecure. And so he needs to work on himself because this is only gonna get worse. It's not gonna get better. A lot of people think that, right? And if you're one of those people that constantly needs reassurance, getting more reassurance doesn't end up fixing the problem because the problem has nothing to do with reassurance, right? What he's asking for is certainty. He wants to know for certain that everything's good, that everything's okay, that you really like him, that all that kind of stuff. And the reason that he wants that certainty is because he's scared within himself that he's not enough. And that once you find out that he's not enough, that you won't really love him. And eventually what's probably gonna end up happening here, Becky, is that it's gonna become a self-fulfilling prophecy, right? There's something I talk about called the law of belief transference. And what the law of belief transference states is that whoever has the strongest beliefs about something will transfer those beliefs on to other people around them. And so if your guy has a really strong belief that he's not enough and that you don't really love him and just all these different things, eventually it's gonna eat away at your love for him. And it's gonna make you feel less and less attracted to him until you wanna push away and get away from him. And so he has to work on his self-esteem. You can't do it for him. You can't coach him through it. None of those things are gonna work. He has to work on that himself. And so it's one of those things where you can give him reassurance, but he's gonna have to become strong within himself. What it means is that he likes you a lot and he's scared of losing you and he needs reassurance because of that, because of his insecurities about himself and whether he actually deserves to have a great woman like you in his life. That's what's going on with him. Facebook user says, he took me for granted. I gave him the wrong things. It happens with a lot of people. So don't, I mean, don't feel bad. It happens with a lot of people and you just have to make sure you find out what that person wants and make sure you're giving that person the things that they want instead of the things that you think that you should be giving them. That's far, far more important. Is he says, focus on what the other person wants and if it matches you, then it's a winner. Otherwise you may become someone's slave or dependent. And not likely, not likely. I mean, if you don't have any boundaries, you might become someone's slave and dependent, but if you do have boundaries and you know what somebody wants and you give it to them and if they become a taker and they're not giving, see, right, like you're assuming that you're giving everything and you're not getting anything back in return. And if you're in that kind of a situation, then you should be concerned about that. And number two, you shouldn't be in that kind of situation. Instead, the situation that you should be in is a situation where you're building together and you're growing together and you're both giving each other what it is that you both want. And so you're building and growing a relationship together and you're fulfilling each other's needs. And if you're not doing that, then it could become a problem. And so you just have to be smart and you have to make sure that you're getting yourself into a good situation. And you have to make sure that you're getting your needs met as well from him. And if he isn't getting you your needs, you either need to find out why he's not doing that and one of the ways that it does work is once you're in a committed relationship and you're giving each other, give it, give it, give it. What usually happens is if you really fulfill a man with all the things that he needs, he'll usually give you whatever it is that you want. However, sometimes that doesn't happen. And if it doesn't happen, then you need to decide whether that's actually a relationship that you wanna be in. And if he isn't taking care of your needs and giving you what it is that you want, then my suggestion is that you get out of that situation completely. But yeah, I mean, you, it doesn't necessarily have to match you, right? It doesn't necessarily have to match you. It can match you, which those are usually the best scenarios, right? If you're, let's say that you are a physical touch kind of person, you just love physical touch and you meet a guy who's physical touch, that's a great scenario because you guys are like laying around together and hugging each other and rolling around and smacking each other on the butt and stuff and laying outside, looking up at the stars and giving each other massages and kissing each other all over the body and you just love it, right? And that's usually a really, really great scenario. However, it can work in other scenarios too, right? Like let's say that your top one is words of affirmation and his top one is physical touch. You start giving him massages and kissing him all over and laying with him and he starts telling you how amazing and beautiful and awesome you are and how he's so lucky to have you in his life and how he can't wait to see you again and how you're just the most amazing woman that he's ever met and how he moved mountains to be with you and how he doesn't ever want to leave you and all that kind of stuff, right? And all of a sudden you guys have a great match and you guys are just like, yeah, this is awesome together, right? And it doesn't have to be that you guys are doing the exact same thing. So I hope that answers, that wasn't even a question, it was just a tangent, a tangent that I was running off on. And F says, the giving wrong things is valuable spinach t-shirt. This is actually a t-shirt with Popeye the Sailor Man on it. It's got spinach, it's got spinach because he's like, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap. And he gets a big arm and goes, boosh, boosh, boosh. I watched a cartoon of Popeye the other day and it was just, it was, it was, I was like, there's no way that they would show that cartoon in today's social, social climate. It was hilarious, it was hilarious. It was hilarious. Lori Donna says, hello, finally I catch you live, yeah. Megan says, how do we find our own love language? Well, there's a quiz, just look it up, go to Google and type in love language quiz and you can take a big old quiz about it and you'll find out exactly what your love language is. Choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo. Danielle says, is it true that physical appearance does matter to a man or is that a myth? Well, of course it matters to a man. I don't know how you would not think. It actually matters to most people, men and women. However, however, it tends to matter more to a guy initially, but it's not everything, right? It is important and it is something, right? Cause guys are visual creatures and we see things and we see what we like and we're really attracted to it and it can really help a lot with his attraction towards you if he's physically attracted to you from the very beginning there, Danielle. However, it's not everything. I have a friend and I've talked about this in other live streams and we're good friends in college and he was known, he was absolutely known for dating these really thin blonde women and that's all he ever dated was really thin, really, really thin blonde women. And one day he ended up with this woman who wasn't thin and she wasn't blonde and they started dating each other and they're dating each other for a while. And I remember everybody was like talking about it. They're like, yeah, his name is Mike. And they're like, yeah, Mike, it's like, I don't know. He's like dating this other woman. She's really beautiful, but she's not like what he... Cause we would always, whenever we'd go out to bars or go anywhere, we'd always see Mike with a thin, pretty blonde girl, right? So he ended up with this other woman who was very, I mean, she was very good-looking but she was a lot thicker, right? She's like thick, right? You know, like real thick. And I remember leaving, I left, this was in, I went to the school in Scottsdale, Arizona and I left Scottsdale. I left ASU, which was the school I went to. And I came back a few years later and I ran into Mike and he was still dating this woman, right? And I was just like, okay, I gotta talk to him about this, right? And so like we sat down and we were talking and I was like, hey man, I got a question for you. You know how you always used to date like these really thin blonde girls? Everybody knew that that's what you're into. And he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and I was like, you know, you're dating. Her name's Lindsay. I was like, you're dating Lindsay now. And I think she's a very wonderful person. She's really cool and really awesome but she's not like the thin blonde girl that you used to go for. And he's like, he's like, you're right, man. He's like, I don't know. It's just, you know, when I met her and it's just like ever since then there's something about her. It's just like the way she moves and the way she talks and the way that she like kind of comes over and like touches me. And I don't know, there's something about her that just makes me wanna grab her and just rip all of her clothes off and make love to her and just kiss her all over her body and just, you know, tell her how much I love her and just all of those things, right? And what I realized about it was it was actually her feminine energy, right? It was that emotional connection that she has to herself. And she's like this dancer, right? And she loves to dance and she just gets into her body and she's just moving around and she's just really comfortable with herself and her body and her emotions and just being connected and all that kind of stuff. And it just really pulled him in. And so, yeah, physical stuff is important, right? There's a lot of things to physical stuff that is important. And at the same time, it's not everything. There's an emotional connection that many times can overcome that physical attraction that a guy has for a woman. And that deeper emotional connection is that thing that ends up growing into love and all these other things. And so it is absolutely, it is absolutely something that is important. And there's things that, since there's only so much you can do about it, right? I think it's important that you take care of yourself and you're doing lots of things to make sure that you're strong and healthy and you're conveying healthy traits that you have it together and all that kind of stuff. And at the same time, there's only so much that you can do about it, right? Unless you start getting plastic surgery and all that kind of stuff, which I don't recommend. I recommend that you build your self-esteem, that you connect with your body, that you build your connection to yourself and that you get into your energy and you use that and use your emotion to connect with men. That's a much, much better way to do it. Much better way to do it. So lots of people have, truth says we have many soulmates. Erica says, yes, but not exactly the same feelings, energy, talking about loving two people at the same time. Annette says, yes, loving two people at the same time is possible. Jeanette says, Matt, you are glowing so handsome. Well, I appreciate your amazing compliments from me, Jeanette. Janet, Jeanette. I'll just pretend your name's Jeanette, but it could be Janet. Annette says, no, for me, because you cannot, you can't give some, the same attention for each. Jennifer says, if he ignores you, run far away. Someone who really loves you will not ignore you and tell you you wouldn't have anything. If it weren't for me, calls you worthless. Sounds like Jennifer has had this happen to her before in a very toxic relationship. And I'm glad that you're out of that, Jennifer. And I hope that you heal and you find the love that you are looking for. Leanne says, hey, everyone, Ohio, I am. I'm actually from Ohio. Cincinnati, Ohio, nasty, nasty. Lindsay says, what do I do if an ex reaches out and then goes distant, reads text, but no answer for hours. Don't really chat unless I do also very little. Well, here's the thing, Lindsay. Here's what you should be doing. So in between him messaging you and you being connected to him, what you should be doing, because he's obviously behaving in a way that shows little interest, shows little interest. And so what you should be doing, or he's trying to play games, or he's either got little interest, which is quite often the case where he's playing games. Either way, what you need to be doing is you need to be going out and building yourself up and dating other people. You need to start dating other people and getting and building your abundance of connection and your abundance of options so that you become less and less attached to this man. You need to build up yourself. You need to start going out there and building your identity, doing things that build your identity. Who are you, Lindsay? What are you about? What is your life about? Figure that out and then go spend time doing things that solidify and build that identity of who it is that you are. And then start dating other guys and doing things with other guys. And then just don't worry about what this guy is doing. You can talk to him, but if he's not moving things forward, if he's not pushing things forward, if he's not trying to do all that kind of stuff, I mean, you can try to trick him and do all that kind of stuff with him if you want to, but it's probably not going to work. Instead, here's what I suggest that you do. And this is something that can work really, really well if you're reconnecting with a guy. And that is to break off the possibility of him getting back together with you. And the way that you do that is by friend zoning him. And the way that you friend zone a guy is you call him your friend and you tell him that you like being friends with him and you talk about just being friends. And if he suggests the idea of being back together, you tell him that you'd rather just be friends at this point. And the reason that this works is because we want things that we can't have, right? And so what you're actually doing here is you're pulling a lot of the power away from him when you friend zone a guy. It's a really, it can be a really devastating thing for a lot of guys. And so when you friend zone a guy, what it does is a lot of times it puts down his barriers and makes him think about you like, oh, she's not dangerous. She's not going to get all clean. She's not going to jump on my leg and hold on to my leg while I'm walking. You know, instead she's going to look at you or he's going to look at you and be like, okay, well, she just wants to be friends. So it's okay, we can be friends and it's not going to get weird. And then when you connect with him again, you do what I'm talking about with connection cycling, where you build strong, powerful, emotional connections with him and then you give him space and it creates this really powerful kind of obsession like effect that will build his desire and love for you and it'll grow and grow and grow. So that's what I suggest you do is that you friend zone him, Lindsey. You friend zone that guy and you start hanging out with other people and start dating other people and you break off your connection and your attachment to him. Lori says, I feel like I'm addicted to messaging him. It drives me crazy. Well, get other things going on in your life, Lori. Get other things going on in your life, Lori. There's a reason why I'm not a singer. I do do karaoke though. So if anybody wants to do some karaoke, if you want to do some karaoke, let me know. All right, Mariska says we dated for three months. I needed space because he didn't know for sure. He disliked the distance and the hope that we could see each other. Two and a half months later, I reached out and he didn't want any contact. So yeah, I mean, he probably feels really hurt by you, right? And here's what you need to do, Mariska, is you need to start dating other people, you know? And like, here's the thing, right? If you break things off with a guy and you're like, hey, I need something more than this and he's like, oh, I'm not sure. I don't know, right? And then you go back to him and you're like, hey, you want to talk again? You know, he's probably going to be hurt and he's probably going to feel like, you know, you kind of betrayed him. And if, you know, he's not together mentally, then he's probably hurt by it, right? But at the same time, you don't want to be back in that relationship. And if you're the one that's reaching out and trying to get a hold of him, you're putting yourself at a lower position of power, which means that he's probably not going to change his mind. When you cut things off with a guy like that, you have to walk away and not look back. You can't look back and try to reach out to him and try to start talking to him again because you get lonely and all that kind of stuff. Look forward, build new relationships, meet new people, get into new situations. And if he gets it together at some point and decides that he wants to have a real relationship and that you're awesome and that he loves you and all that kind of stuff, then he can come back to you and prove to you that he's the right guy for you. Don't go back to him. That's, you're going in the wrong direction here. You need to be going forward and building new connections and meeting new men who are open and ready, who are sure, who are sure about you that know that they want something real with you, that look at you and say, you are an amazing, beautiful, awesome woman that I wanna spend the rest of my life with, that I wanna give everything to, that I wanna be committed to, that I want the two of us to be in this relationship together, going through life together on the same team and partnership. That's what you want. You want a guy who's not confused, who says, you're it, you're the only one that I want and I wanna be with you, Mariska. That's what you want. You want a guy that says that. Anything else is not a guy in a situation that you wanna be in. And if you're reaching back out to him after he told you that he's confused, you're going in the wrong direction and you're putting yourself in a lower position of power and that means that he's unlikely to change his mind. You need to move forward and let him come back to you. Think about it like a cat, right? If you go chasing a cat, he's just gonna run away, right? Instead, you want that cat to come to you and start parring on your lap and be like, mrr, right? Brrr, brrr, you know, and you rub it and you're like, yeah, you know, are you gonna be, are you gonna be the kind of cat that is gonna take us to the promised land where we're gonna be in this great relationship together? And if you're not, that's fine. Get off my lap. I've got room for other cats. I want a cat that's going with me, right? We're going to the promised land. We're getting to a committed relationship. That's what we're doing here, Mariska. That's what we're doing. And so don't settle. Don't you settle, Mariska. Don't you settle for anything less. All right. I was getting a little carried away there. Getting a little carried away. FZ says, a new encounter was going well online with a new person, but then I sabotaged by not giving space and being negative about his interest. He blocked me. Could he ever come back? Yeah, I mean, it's possible. But the problem with, you know, an encounter with an online person, you know, is that there's not a lot that's emotionally connected there, right? So there's not a lot of investment. If you remember at the beginning of the video, I talked about whether it's gonna happen, whether it's worth your time or not. And the whether it's worth your time has to do with his interest level and his investment. So if at one point he was really into you and he's gotten heavily invested in you, but his interest has dropped, it's possible that it could come back. However, since you're in a situation where it's this online person, and you guys have just been talking online, there's not a lot of investment there. And his interest level has gone really far down. And so the likelihood that he's gonna come back is really, really low. It's just really low, you know, and there's not a lot that can happen there. And he blocked you, right? Which is basically shutting things off and saying I don't want anything to do with you anymore. And so what you need to do, FC, is you need to look forward and start marching forward, take that pretty little head of yours and look forward into the future and say, I'm going to create what it is that I want and my future is brighter. If this person doesn't wanna be on this journey with me, that is their loss. And I shall move into the future and create an amazing relationship where I'm valued and I'm cherished and I have a man who sees me and doesn't block me. Instead, he wants to talk to me. He wants to communicate with me. He wants to spend lots and lots of time with me and tell me how beautiful I am. And, you know, we can touch each other's hair and land the ground and look up at the stars and write each other little notes and help each other with all the things that we wanna help each other with. That's what you wanna do there, FC. FC, that's what you wanna do. That's what you wanna do. That's what you wanna, wanna, wanna do. What you wanna do, what you wanna do, do. All right, my singing is going downhill very quickly here so I'll just go ahead and stop that. Jamie says, been friends for almost six years, trying to long distance. He always says he loves me and will move to be with me but always makes some excuse not to come. He has an emotional past and my waste in my time. Yeah, so here's what you wanna do, right? You wanna, Jamie, you know what? I can tell that you are not using my program. You wanna know how I can tell that? Because there's a big difference between women who are using my program and women who are not using my program. The women that are using my program, they say things to me like there's a few different guys and they're all chasing me and they're investing me and I really like them, which one do I pick? Or they'll say, you know, they'll ask questions about the specific things about like connecting and stuff like that and committed relationships and how do I make sure that I'm prepared for marriage and how do I know that this is the right guy for me and all that kind of stuff? It doesn't sound like you're doing that, right? Because you've been friends with a guy for six years and he says that he loves you and will move to be with you but always makes an excuse, right? And there's something that I talk about and it's very, very important that you listen to this and it's this, whenever a man's actions and a words, his words and his actions are not in alignment, what you need to do is listen to the worst of the two, right? And so in this case, his words are, I love you and I wanna be with you and I think you're so special Jamie, but then his actions are, but I have a whole bunch of excuses about why I'm not gonna come and see you, right? And so what you wanna do is listen to the fact that he's making excuses and go bye-bye, Felicia. Next, move out there, right? And come from a place of value and believing in yourself and go out there and stand in the street and say, who wants to come and value me and be in a great relationship with me? Maybe you don't wanna do that but what you do wanna do is check out my program at the foreverwomanformula.com, get it, you can check it out, watch that video, get the program for free. If you wanna stay a part of our community, there's a fee that's attached to it, but you can get 14 days of coaching for free and there's lots of really great stuff in that program. Go over the program 10 times and use what is in that program because that is your best chance at getting into the relationship that you want. We have women that are all the time, they're getting married, they're getting engaged, they're finding the man of their dreams in our community and you see it all the time, you see all these photos and stuff from all these women getting into the relationships that they want and if you wanna be one of those women, my suggestion is you check out my program at theforeverwomanformula.com and get my program for free. So thank you everybody, that's it. I hope you enjoyed this video and it is an honor and a privilege for me to be a part of your journey and helping you. We have some of the most beautiful, amazing women in the world as a part of our community. So thank you everybody. I will speak with you again soon. Have a great day, night, evening, morning, wherever you are in the world and I'll talk to you later.