 How strict is strict enough? Can only a strict parent be a good parent? Those who are strict but loving are known as authoritative, but those who are strict, controlling, cold, and emotionless are known as authoritarian. Even if it seems like extreme parenting is necessary to teach children discipline, research shows that it actually creates the complete opposite effect. Children raised by very strict parents grow up with all kinds of different struggles with their thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Do you suffer the side effects? If you're not sure what the side effects are, here are six common ones. Number one, the inner critic. You don't study enough. Your room is not clean enough. Does it sound familiar? If you had strict parents, you're probably used to all kinds of critique. Growing up, you might have felt like you never did anything right. Maybe you felt constant fear of being criticized and felt like no matter what you do, you'd never be good enough. These feelings nurtured your inner critic and made it grow alongside you. So today, you might criticize yourself constantly. Maybe you keep bringing yourself down, apologizing for doing things wrong or warning everyone that you'll probably do it wrong. You become quick to point out your flaws before anyone else. This becomes a strategy to protect yourself in hopes that if I criticize myself first, no one else can. Unfortunately, this can often backfire, because your own thoughts can be even more harsh than your parents were. Number two, the bad person. Are you afraid to show your true self to others because you're scared of rejection? This lack of self-esteem and self-confidence is another common side effect of strict parenting. If your parents always had high expectations, you may have set those same expectations for yourself. And as time went on, maybe you internalized those expectations as a part of you. Now, you may feel like your worth as a person depends completely on your results. So, if you fail to meet those high expectations, you may feel like you're bad in nature. Some who were raised in a strict home describe this as feeling like they're fundamentally bad if they don't succeed in following the rules or living up to unrealistic standards. Three, the art of lying. While you were growing up, did your parents always forbid you from doing anything fun? Maybe you weren't allowed to go out with friends or have sleepovers. Most of the time, you did follow the rules blindly, but maybe you snuck out every now and then. Strict parents often expect obedience and respect for authority. They believe they're raising honest and respectful people. But in response to all these strict measures, children learn to act sneaky and become excellent liars. From an early age, it becomes important to learn how to hide secrets and tell a few white lies every now and then. You had to master the art of lying because you feared the possible punishment. So now, coming up with a convincing lie is a matter of seconds. Number four, the rules. I can't wait until I get out of here. I can't wait to live however I want without any rules. But the truth is, those rules got ingrained in you to the point that you now feel like you just can't live without them anymore. Do you feel like you have a need for rules and structure? One example of this need could be functioning in social settings. For example, you may feel a bit more comfortable at work or school. And that's because you know the rules. You know how you're supposed to behave and what's expected of you. But when you're at a party, you're not so sure anymore. What do you talk about? How do you act? In these situations, the rules and structure are not clear. For some adults that grew up with strict parents, this can become a challenge and they might feel lost without the guidance. Number five, the rebel. I'm helping you get disciplined. I want you to become a well-behaved adult. Strict parents often justify themselves by thinking their parenting methods would make you a polite and disciplined person. But studies have shown that harsh parenting actually produces kids with behavioral problems. They might have learned to become more rebellious, angry, impulsive. And aggressive when things don't go their way. Also, they're more likely to engage in risky behavior, such as running away or experimenting with drugs. It might be because you want to compensate for the lost time. To some people, it may feel like finally being released to freedom after feeling like a prisoner their entire life. And number six, the sadness. Unfortunately, strict parenting can have serious side effects on your mental health as well. Studies show that kids raised in a strict household tend to be unhappy and show more depressive symptoms. Do you feel sad or anxious as a result of your upbringing? If you often feel hopeless, tired, bored, and if you feel like you don't enjoy things that you used to, you may be suffering from depression. On top of increasing your chances of developing mental illness, strict parenting increases the risk of suicide. Research has shown that in some countries, such as Hong Kong and Australia, kids raised in strict households are more prone to suicidal attempts or ideation. Please remember, if you or someone you know shows signs or symptoms of suicidal ideation, please contact a mental health professional or visit the link for international suicide hotlines in the description box below. Growing up this way may have left you feeling hurt and confused. And unfortunately, it takes some time to recover from the lack of love and abundance of harsh rules. A good way to start that journey would be to acknowledge that you shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed. Accept yourself for who you are, even if you sometimes make mistakes. The mistakes are what make you human, even if your parents never realized that. Do you relate to the points mentioned in this video? What are some other side effects of strict parenting that you have noticed? If you found this video helpful, remember to share with anyone who may benefit from it. Looking forward to seeing any thoughts or suggestions you might have as well in the comments down below. Thanks so much for watching and see you next time.