 RCA Victor, world leader in radio first and recorded music and first in television presents transcribe the Phil Harris Alice Faye show For your enjoyment here is the Phil Harris Alice Faye show written by Ray Singer and Dick Chevrolet with Elliot Lewis Walter Tetley Robert North Janine Roos and Whitfield Walter Sharpen his music and yours truly Bill Foreman Coloring Easter eggs for your children is a wonderful custom. It's a lot of fun and a very simple operation Unless it's done by Phil Harris then it becomes a federal project But more about that later first the word from RCA Victor Whatever your home decorating scheme, you can be sure there's a new 1953 RCA Victor television set designed to fit it perfectly Is your living room modern? There are many RCA Victor TV set style for the modern home The Kenbridge for example a handsome 21 inch deluxe set in natural walnut or limed oak Is your home early American? RCA Victor's Yorktown in a natural cherry finish blends beautifully with the informality of early pieces Do you love traditional English furnishings? Then you'll want to see RCA Victor Southbridge a beautiful new deluxe set in Regency styling Whatever your taste in furniture styling you're sure to find a new RCA Victor television set designed for your home This year there are more models more styles than ever before in RCA Victor history In fact, you have a choice of 22 models 42 combinations of styles and finishes So when you look for television look at the sets praised for their beauty by many of the nation's foremost furniture designers RCA Victor their America's most beautiful sets and yet prices actually start as low as $199 and 95 cents See the new 1953 RCA Victor television line at your dealer's tomorrow and Remember this with any one of these new RCA Victor sets You can buy the world's best installation and maintenance through an RCA Victor factory service contract It's another big reason why every year more people buy RCA Victor than any other television Now the stars of the RCA Victor program Alice Faye and Bill Harris For the past two weeks the Harris children have been reminding Phil to buy them Easter egg die He promised them he would but forgot all about it now as we look in at his Easter morning And Alice is berating Phil for having forgotten Phil how could you forget such an important thing? The girls have their hearts set on dying eggs. I'm sorry, honey I'm sorry. I forgot but stop worrying I called Ellie a little while ago and told him to pick up some dye at the drugstore on his way over What if they're out of it? The girls will be disappointed. Why should they be disappointed if they don't have any dye? Because they've looked forward to your dying the eggs and hiding them so they can find them Didn't your father ever do that for you when you were a child? We don't call her no eggs we had a much more exciting game in Tennessee What did you do daddy used to camouflage his still Then we kids would pretend that we were revenue agents and we'd try to find it and sometimes we did Please tell me something you went to the drugstore yesterday just for the purpose of getting Easter egg dye Why didn't you get it? Oh, I forgot to tell you about that. I was sidetracked You know something I walked into that drugstore and right in front somebody was given a demonstration, honey It was the most fascinating demonstration. I've ever seen I couldn't resist the sales talking before I knew it I bought two dozen pairs of plastic water wings You bought two dozen pairs of plastic water wings, what are you gonna do with them? We all know how to swim I know, but I figured that they'd make excellent Christmas gifts for the boys in my band Are you kidding? Feel the boys in your band haven't been near water in 20 years Don't you understand they don't have to use them in the water if they strap them around their legs They'll make lovely knee pads for craft games I still don't understand how that demonstrated talk you into buying those water wings. Well, I Come in. Well, who was demonstrating them? Oh a little old ball-headed man. I felt sorry for him Hello, Alice. Oh, hello, Elliot. Hey, did you go to drugstore like I asked you to? Yeah Hey, Curly, did you see the water wing demonstrator at the drugstore? Oh, you mean that little old ball-headed man? No, I mean that luscious redhead in the bikini bathing suit Get them suckers buying them like hotcakes. Yeah, all right, Ellen You told me that yesterday some guy with a curly two-pay came in and bought two dozen of them So the demonstrator was a bald-headed old man, huh? He was when I saw her I Elliot, did you buy the Easter egg die at the drugstore? No, ma'am. They were all out of it But I got something else for the kids that's just as good. Oh, what'd you get a chemistry set? With that you can mix your own dies. Yeah. Hey, that's an idea. We can make our own. Where's the chemistry set? That's the one of these packages here See I had him tie the kids package with a red ribbon so I'd know it from the other Oh, here it is. What's in all them other packages water wings? At to Brutus Hey Elliot, let's get at that chemistry set. I can't wait to get started making that die That's gonna be a lot of fun boy I don't think you fellas ought to mess around with the chemistry. Oh, honey There's nothing to it. All we got to do is follow the instructions. Hey Elliot. Hmm. Where's the the instruction book? Told him to leave it out. I Figured we'd rough it Yes, it's more sporting when you add live You mean you two are going to mix chemicals without an instruction book. Yeah There's no danger in making a chemical formula if one understands the proper procedure. That's right It's important to mix your ingredients in the correct proportions. Right. Let's get started Hand me that measuring glass. Okay. Ah, then we'll add a pony of this Two jiggers of that And three fingers of that little doll right there I'll get the ice cube. Yeah, don't forget the cocktail onions and the martini test to In the meantime, you light the Bunsen burner. I've always wanted a hot Gibson With a twist of litmus paper Fellas you're supposed to be making die. Oh, yeah. Yeah die sure Alien hmm should have kept that instruction book. How do you make a die? I don't know there's a chart on the inside cover here, but it don't say anything about making dies Wait a minute tells you how to make ink though Ink ink ink. Oh, oh, I get it We make ink and then we write a letter to the company to get the die It tells you how to make different colored inks red green blue we can use that to dye the egg That's the colors. We want that's a good idea. Let's get started I Was thought we couldn't make any die Yeah, hey Ellie look at all these beautiful shades We've got red green yellow and purple. I'll be darned. They did it. Yeah, and look at this egg We just died ain't it gorgeous. Hey the color sticks good, too Let's die the rest of the wait a minute before we dip them I want to write the children's name on them Yeah, because then I'll make them kind of you know personal. Hey, hand me that wax pencil. Here you go Okay, now first of all, I'm gonna make one out for a little Alice. Hey L I See he He spells good Of course I do. Well, you think I'm stupid or something now, I'll write Phyllis on this one F I L I Curly would you make one with my name on it? What for I want to see what you do with Elliot That's a cinch to spell L E up L E How you spell that let's just make it Sam Will you just forget it and hand me that bowl of purple dye I want to try that Okay, I'll be careful how you handle it. It's filled right to the brim. Don't worry curly. I can handle it Here you are. Watch it now. You're sloppin it all over. I I did it. Look what you did you and your shaky hands Build it all over your shoes. Oh certainly can't it just look at them. They're purple all over my This ain't grape juice on my feet. It's Easter egg dye What are you doing here on Easter Sunday? I came over to wish you a happy Easter and to show you me new suit It's genuine blue sides with a belt on back. I like it. Oh real jazzy What times the blown go up? Now Phil don't make fun of him. You have a blue-shirt suit just like it I think you look very nice Julius. Don't you think so Elliot? Yeah? He looks real sharp in his new suit and derby He heard enough Hey, Elliot, you said me that bowl of red dye. Will you what are you doing with red dye? I'm coloring all these eggs for Easter. Let me color some. No, I'm gonna color them A little what? All right Julius now let go of that bowl. I will not go but you look out. You're spilling out of my head Well kid, I'm sorry. I didn't mean what you did to me Would you mind having another go at that? Them red spots look good against that dark blue suit When they shot don't they Elliot? Yeah Look like a bunch of bloodshot eyes peering out of a coal mine It doesn't strike me that way You get a different picture, uh-huh. I think it looks like a field of tomatoes floating in a sea of prune juice What's the matter with you guys? Here's our spot remover. We don't have any more left. Well, then how am I gonna get the spots out you curly? Have you forgotten? We have the chemistry set You mean we'll make our own spot remover why not we were very successful with the dye true But how are we gonna make spot remover without that instruction book this I happen to know Now hand me a test tube First we'll pour a little sulfuric acid And we'll add a dash of nitric acid Well curly we did it again. Yeah, we made our own spot remover looks good don't it? Sounds good, too Now we just put Julius jacket on the table here take our solution and pour it over the spots like so Hey, look at that cloud rise Beautiful mushroom effect Elliot maybe we should have done this at Yonka flats Curly we're safe as long as the wind don't change and blow the cloud back over the city Like you used to before you got into pictures Look kid. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I thought it did work. I'll buy you a new suit tomorrow I don't want tomorrow. It's me It's the suit and I need it today, but all the clothing stores are closed. I can't get you a suit today curly I Think we can get him a suit today We're gonna make him one with the chemistry set No Have you forgotten the IJ Grogan clothing company? Grogan is in the clothing business now. Oh He's got a very high-class shop. He's open 24 hours a day every day All right, all right, I've ruined your suit so I'm gonna buy you a new one Alice you got any money? Yeah, here you are fell Thanks, honey. Gee you're a wonderful wife. It's a sweet and kind and generous Come on, we'll get your suit Hey, Elodie, you've got your RCA Victor personal radio with you. You know, I'm never without it good Turn it on Peter Potter is about to play one of my records He's putting cold Just nine days old Well the patty cake a patty cake a baker's man You've got to put it in the oven just as fast as you can some like it hot and some like it cold I like it in the pot nine days old He's putting hot He's putting cold He's putting in the pot Just nine days old Didn't care much about going to school. It was all working. Oh play But when it came home about half past three. I love to hear my mama say I got a piece of pudding hot I got a piece of pudding gold I got the pudding in the pot Just nine days old I thought I had a steak called juicy and brown, but I looked on my plate and here's all I found just a piece of pudding hot He's putting gold He's putting in the pot Just nine days old I don't want ham. I don't want greens. There's only one dish that pops more seems it's a piece of pudding hot You mean the hot pot put it He's putting cold the cold cold food is putting in the pot. You mean the pot pot put it. Just nine days old Just nine days old mama said son here's 15 cents go watch that elephant jump the fence He jumped so high he started to fly. We didn't get back till the 4th of July He's putting hot. That's the pot pot pudding. He's putting cold. Oh the cold cold food. He's putting in the pot The pot pot pot pot pudding. Just nine days old. Just nine days old. Hot hot pudding This quality suitings that oh here's his place now. Yeah, here it is What a swell store. Look at that sign I J. Grogan custom tailor if you want to have a fit by one of our suits For a joint like this. It's not a joint Make a beautiful suits. Look at that window display. Look at that merchandise What merchandise? All I see in the windows is sales signs bankruptcy sale going into business sale Going out of business sale Why should we sale? Grand opening. Yeah, look at that one fire sale in June Until you want to have to sale because he's not having to fire until May Children ask the silliest question pay no attention come on kid. Let's get in here You suck around for a sock and a kiss him Harris this little creep belong to you No, no, no, we brought him down here to get him a suit. Oh, so you want to get a suit a kid Well, come on inside and look around you decided to come in Just a service to our customers Now what do you want the kid wants to buy a blue surge suit, bro? Oh, hello, Elliot. It's good to see you I see that you're still wearing a suit that I made for you last week It's holding to get a nicely Yeah, it is I thought sure would come apart at the seams you kidding When we staple a suit together at stay I'm going home don't touch that door knob. It's electrified You want a suit you have come to the right place We can make you a suit that is out of this world. It is carefully put together By explain Taylor's each stitch is a masterpiece of craftsmanship We'll get started right away. I need to have it made you can't wait 10 minutes And I'll put two men on you can have it in five minutes Wait a minute a groggy look hold on a minute now cuz we don't want nothing fancy You see I'm paying for this suit and I don't want to pay too much. All I want is a plain blue Ready-made suit you have come to the right place. I Got one right here and let's not hang out because in this store We only got one price that I like. What's the price? How much do you get on you $8? That's the price I don't want to spend no $8 now if you you got something for around 450 you have come to the right place In fact I happen to have a special bargain here, and I have a suit here that'll cost you 450 and I guarantee you can't tell it from a $5 suit That sounds exactly what I want take it off the rack. Let me see. All right. Gladly here. Just take a look at this Suit kid. This is a beautiful blue shade It's got a slight factory Imperfection, but I bet that you can't even notice it. I defy you to tell me what is wrong with this suit So I got one sleeve She's got an eye like an eagle I'll give you the same suit with two sleeves Make it three sleeves and we'll take Well, that's all you're gonna get so keep quiet wrap it up Groggan you have come to the wrong place We don't don't know all the races besides you won't need any it's your size Julie just forget about to forget about it Groggan no alterations We'll take the suit back to my house try it on and if it don't fit Alice will fix it everything Julius go in my bedroom and try on your new suit fine suit you got me it's 450 white a nothing Will you stop squawking? Just go in the bedroom and try it on. Hey look be careful My good blue surge suit is on that bed. Don't sit on it. I don't want it wrinkled How's it fit Groggan said it was your size. How can it be so big? Wait a minute. I better call alice to fix it. Ah Just cut the trousers legs in the sleeve besides Okay, I think I can fix it. Okay hold still now All right, give me the other trouser leg. How's it look elliot? You cut one leg shorter than the other Looks like he's standing on the side of the hill Okay, hey what are you gonna do about that seat? Still too big looks good kid cut down my good blue surge suits the easter parade Back in just a moment If you have a radio around the house that hasn't worked for months Chances are it can easily be restored to its original fine performance If you learn that weak or worn out receiving tubes are the cause of your radio's troubles Have your serviceman replace them with top quality RCA tubes you can depend on rca tubes to give you the best reception your radio can deliver Look for the colorful red white and black rca tube cartons on your serviceman shells or in his carrying case dependable rca tubes Cost you no more This is phil again Folks alice and i would like to extend sincere congratulations to station w o w in Omaha, Nebraska On the celebration of its 30th anniversary Best wishes for a long and continued success to w o w and thanks so much for carrying our program Good night everybody. Good night everybody Included in this program transcribed with Sheldon Leonard the part of julius was played by walter tetley The jazz singer made famous by the late al jason Now even greater than ever with danny thomas playing the stellar role in the new warner brothers movie Eight wonderful songs from the great new jazz singer film have been recorded for rca victor by the star himself Get rca victor's new jazz singer album on long play or 45 extended play albums Next here theater guild on the air over nbc