 Keep tuned for Robert Young starring in Father Knows Best, which follows this listening reminder. Tomorrow evening, you'll enjoy a host of entertaining radio shows when you keep your dial set to the NBC radio network. For songs, you'll hear delightful quarter-hour programs by both Dinah Shore and Frank Sinatra. For comedy, listen to Bob Hope, Phil Harris and Alice Faye, and Gertrude Berg's heartwarming program, The House of Glass. All of these and more are yours for the listening tomorrow night on the NBC radio network. So be sure to tune here for the most enjoyable, pleasure-filled evening. And now it's Robert Young in Father Knows Best on NBC. Now listen to Father Knows Best transcribed starring Robert Young as Father. Power is it with the folks in the White Frame House on Maple Street. Sit back and enjoy life with the Anderson. Kathy, Bud, Betty, Margaret and Jim as the head of this typical American household again sets out to prove that Father Knows Best. In a recent survey, it was revealed that industrial drawing and political science are two of the most popular subjects among boys, while the most popular subject among girls is boys. There are some, of course, who will dispute this, but Jim Anderson is not one of them. He performed his opinion one Friday afternoon when he came home early and retired to his den to prepare a speech for an insurance convention, like this. Well, if there's anything you need, dear, just call. Thanks, honey, but all I want is a little peace and quiet. Maybe some cookies? No, just quiet. They're oatmeal cookies. Your favorite. Margaret, I've got to write this speech, so... So you'd better get to work and stop all this chatting. Maybe if I get out of here, you won't have any excuse to talk. Yeah. Well, get to work then. You're wasting time. Wasting time? Well, let's see now. Mr. Chairman, District Supervisor Spragerson and fellow insurance men... are fellow slaves. Yeah, I'll use that. Might as well get a laugh right off the bat. It is indeed a pleasure to be here again tonight. And I would like to say... Betty, I'm writing a... Well, I've got to get this... Well, if you're sure it'll be real fast. Come on, Janie, he says okay. Hello, Mr. Anderson. I hear you're writing a speech. Well, I'm trying to. Oh, that's nice. Father, what would we look under to find out about the Magna Carta? Well, it's just a shot in the dark, but you might try looking under Magna Carta. Hey, that's an idea, isn't it? A keen. You must know quite a bit about English history, Mr. Anderson. Oh, sure, an old authority on it. That's what we're studying now. English history under Mr. Glover. He's cute, isn't he? Just darling. Have you found the Magna Carta yet? What would that be under, the M's? That's a pretty good guess. M, M, M, M... Betty, do you think Mr. Glover is cuter than Mr. Thomas? I don't have him. Oh, he's cute. Mr. Welker's cute. Just darling. Oh, say, do you know a boy named John Reaverts in your botany class? I sit right next to him. Oh, he's cute. Just darling. Oh, me? Have you heard of his brother, Albert? Oh, he is cute. Just darling. Girls, have you heard of Magna Carta? Oh, he's cute. Just darling. All right, all right. I've had all the darling talk I can stand. Now take the book in the other room and do your work out there. This'll just take a second, Father. M, M, M... Mills? Milton? Oh, do you know Milton Potter? He's not very cute. For goodness sakes. Can't you girls think of anything else besides boys? Well, certainly we can, Father. We can think of dates and... Hey, that's something else we're supposed to find out about the Magna Carta. The date of it. Try 1076. All right, let's see. Page 1076. That's not the page number. That's the date. Oh, say, Betty, do you have a date for the dance tomorrow night? Do I? Larry Tribbley? Larry Tribbley? Oh, he's cute. Just darling. Oh, I give up. All you've done is waste my time and talk about boys. Now take the book, take it in the living room and leave me alone. I'll get it. Someday I'm going to have that thing disconnected. Hello? Oh, hello. She's going to blow a gasket. I'll be back. Hey, Milton, John, Albert, isn't he cute? Margaret. Have you finished your speech? Not quite. Want some fruit? No thanks. Hi, Dad, will you help me with some arithmetic problems? No, no, but I'm trying to write a speech. How much is two and a half bushels of apples times Mr. White the Grocer times three boys? I think you're a little mixed up there, bud. Besides, I've heard all I want to about boys. What's wrong with boys? Nothing, except girls. Margaret, have you listened to any of Betty's conversations lately? Well, I guess so. What are you getting in? She talks of nothing but boys. All teenage girls are like that. It's perfectly normal. Well, it's driving me crazy. I can tell you that. Girls drive me crazy, too. They're a bunch of squares. You keep out of this, bud. You're supposed to be doing your arithmetic. I am, but I need help. Oh, you shouldn't have trouble with those problems. Well, it's not the problems I'm having trouble with. It's the answers. Well, I guess I'd better get back in the den and see if they're through hanging on the phone. Dad. That's another thing. Betty spends half her life on the phone talking to some boy. No, it's not quite half. Dad. What is it, bud? If it takes three boys working four-hour shifts to build a brick wall 20 feet long, how long will it take two boys working six-hour shifts to build the same wall? Why would they need to build the same wall? Gee, I never thought about that. Well, it's built. It's built. Maybe it fell down. Well, that's your whole problem right there. They just don't build walls like they used to. Yeah. Well, how long do you think it takes these two boys to... Bud, I told you I'd rather not hear that word right now. Besides, I've just got to get that speech done. Can you help me later? Yeah, maybe. Don't bother him now, bud. Daddy, would you read me a story? I can't now, kid. Maybe later. A cheaty story is called Through Monkey Land with the Jungle Boys. Boys? Oh, not you two, Kathy. Did I say something wrong, Daddy? No, kid. I'll see you later. Run along. Gee. Who said you had such cute blue eyes? Well, don't tell him I said it. Oh, me. Oh, stop it, Larry. Say. Betty, would you please hang up? Huh? Oh. Larry, I guess I'll have to hang up now. My father wants to use the phone. All right, Larry. Bye-bye. He said his eyes weren't blue. They're usually bloodshot. And that's why everything looks rosy to him. So cute on the phone. Just darling. Father, do you know him? I've never laid a bloodshot eye on him. Now, will you girls please, please leave me alone and let me get my work done? I'll bet you couldn't go 24 hours without mentioning the subject of boys if your life depended on it. Oh, why, that would be the easiest thing in the world, wouldn't it, Larry? I mean, Jamie. Easy. Who cares anything about boys? Betty, would you come out here a minute, please? Yes, Mother. Jamie, you start looking up about the Magna Carta. Okay, Betty. Look under the amps. Okay. What is it, Mother? There's a delivery man at the door from the Dolores Dress Shop with a COD package. Do you know anything about it? Well, yes, in a way. What do you mean, in a way? Well, I bought a dress there. Betty, you know you can't go around buying dresses whenever you feel like it. Well, I tried to phone you, but I didn't get any answer. And such a price, too. $49.95. Well, Mother, it's really a tremendous bargain for that. It's a terrifyingly darling formal. Oh, I just had to have one for the dance tomorrow night. You see, I have this perfectly marvelous date, and, well, I just simply had to have it. Why? I just simply had to. Oh, Betty. I can't have it. Can't I, Mother? I haven't got $49.95. Will you ask Father for it? No. This is your deal, not mine. I'd rather not have anything to do with it. Oh, gosh. I think I'd better tell the man to take the dress back. Oh, no, wait. I'll go ask Father, maybe. Well, you'd better hurry. We can't keep the man waiting. I'll hurry. Father. Yes? Um, how's your speech coming? Slow. That's nice. Father. Betty, can't you see I'm trying to work? Well, I just want to ask you one teeny-weeny little question. Can I hurry it up? Um, could I have just a slight advance in my weekly allowance? That's a poor habit to get into, Betty. Well, it'd just be a slight advance. Hmm, how much? Only $49.95. $49.94? My gosh. That'd take you into the middle of 1955. What do you need all that for? Well, I thought that just in case I might possibly have to buy a new dress for the dance tomorrow. New dress? What for? You've got a whole closet of stuff full of them now. Oh, but I have to wear a formal. And I haven't got a decent one. Betty, when are you going to learn that I'm not made of money? But, Father... Money does not grow on trees. I know that, Father, but you... Oh, Betty, you were wrong. Yes, and so was money. Uh, wait a minute. I'll make you a proposition. You remember you said it would be easy for you not to mention boys or to talk to boys for 24 hours? Yes. Okay. I'll just bet you $49.95 that you can't do it. But...but 24 hours will be tomorrow. Well, the dance isn't until tomorrow night. Let's see, it's 4.10 now. The bet will be up at 4.10 tomorrow afternoon. That'll give you time to buy a dress, won't it? Well, you see, Father... if you deal right there, take it or leave it. Maybe those 24 hours will give you time to think over the meaning of money, which comes under M. Father, stop throwing that up to me. Well, how about it? You want to take the bet? I'll take it if you include in it that you lose too if you mention money during the 24 hours. Well, fine. I can think of nothing I'd rather not mention than that. All right, then. The deal's on. Wait here, Janie. I'll be right back. Mother. Well, what happened? Tell the man to take the dress back. Well, that's a wise decision. But tell him to bring it back here tomorrow afternoon at exactly 4.10. What? Don't ask questions now. Just tell him. Will you have the money by then? You bet I will. But it's going to be the most miserable 24 hours I've ever spent. Act 2 of Father Knows Best after this word. Tomorrow evening you'll enjoy two of America's favorite comedy programs when you set your radio dial to NBC. There's laugh-filled entertainment on the Phil Harris and Alice Faye show, as Phil and Elliot Lewis decide to present their own interpretation of Shakespeare. You'll truly enjoy the mirth-filled Phil Harris and Alice Faye show tomorrow evening. The same night you can hear the Bob Hope show on NBC Radio. Tomorrow, Bob Hope will have Gordon McRae as his special guest, and the laughs will come thick and fast as Bob and Gordon each tries to win the honor of Man of the Year at their golf club. Remember it's the Bob Hope show and the Phil Harris and Alice Faye show. Hear them both tomorrow on the NBC Radio Network. And now back to Father Knows Best. There are two words currently taboo in the White Frame House on Maple Street. Money and boys. With a $49 formula at stake, Betty has managed with great difficulty to refrain from talking to or about boys for 23 of the 24 hours. Jim, on the other hand, has enjoyed avoiding the subject of money. Now, as the finish of the bet nears, the pressure is on, and no holds are barred. Like this. Jim? Yes, dear? The Eggman is here to collect. Guess how much we owe him. It's nice weather we're having now, isn't it? Jim, he's waiting at the back door. Sorry, you're in a field I'm not even discussing now. Oh, Jim, how much longer is this silly bet going to continue? Not long. I wish it was longer. I'm finding it rather pleasant. And economical. No piffle. Maybe I've got some money in my purse. I don't know why I didn't start this bet years ago. Father? Yes, Princess. What did Mother want? You know very well what she wanted, Miss Marty. Is that today's paper you've got there? Yes, I thought maybe you'd like to look at the financial page. Here. No, thanks. Not unless there's a crossword puzzle on it. I'm not interested in that other junk. What other junk? Never mind. Say there is a crossword puzzle here. Father, how much is our bet for now? I've forgotten. I think you remember all right. Say there's some tricky words in this puzzle. What is a floating marker moored in water as a guide to navigation? Those are called... Oh, no you don't. Daddy? Hey, it's less than an hour now. Only 43 minutes. Daddy? Yes, kitten? Ask him for some money, Kathy. I don't want any money. I just want somebody to read my new book to me. For two days now I've been carrying it around. Okay, okay. Hand it here. I'll read it. Yesterday you said you'd do it when you got your speech done. But you never did it. Well, the speech is all done now this noon and it went fine. And the banquet was a big success. How much did it cost? I'm busy reading right now, my dear. Yeah, it starts right there, Daddy. Page one. Yes. All right. Here we go. Wait a minute. I've got to make a phone call first. Let Betty start the book for you. Oh, heck. Here, Betty. Well, all right. I guess reading would be safer than talking to an unfair trickster like you. Hurry up, Betty. It starts right there, page one. I know where it starts. Through Monkey Land with the jungle boobs. That's boys, jungle boys. I know what it is. What did you say it was, Betty? I didn't say and I'm not going to. Father, that was a dirty trick. Here, take your old book back. Wait a minute. Isn't anybody going to read to me? Yeah, I'll read it, Kathy. Well, let's get with it then. I'm getting tired of all this book passing. Okay. Through Monkey Land with the jungle boys. One beautiful spring day. You think a girl Betty's age would know a little word like boys, wouldn't you? Yes, you would. She's kind of dumb, isn't she? All right, Squeegee. Keep your opinions to yourself. Ah, turn blue. Through Monkey Land with the jungle boys. One beautiful... Aren't you going to stay in here this, Betty? No, I'm not. It's about your favorite subject. Come on, Daddy. Through Monkey Land with the jungle boys. You read that. Oh, yeah. One beautiful spring day, Neco, the elder jungle boy, was startled by a strange noise in the dense foliage along the river. Neco looked about tensely, wondering what the noise was. I wondered what that noise was, said Neco tensely. Suddenly, Neco heard a loud chattering above him. He looked up, then laughed and cried out, Hello there, you little baboon. Huh? Let's see you swing by your tail. Dad, it's me, your son. Hmm. Said Neco. Yes, I recognize you, bud. Did you want something? Go away. Dad is reading to me. Ah. Ah. Well, that's a nice exchange of dialogue. Dad, you just got to help me with these arithmetic problems. Haven't you got those yet? Well, I need a little help to get me started. Well, all right. Let's see the book. Oh, heck. The first ten, there. If Tom earns twice as much as Ned, who earns three times as much as Dick, how much money... Wait a minute. Did Betty put you up to this? No. Honest. She didn't, huh? You know, that is a good idea now that I think of it. Here, bud, take your book into Betty and ask her to help you with problem number three. Number three? Yeah. If there are 36 pupils in the schoolroom and there are twice as many girls as boys, how many boys are there? Is she any good at this subject? She's awfully interested in it. I know that. Go get her to help you. I hope that's one of Betty's boyfriends. I thought Mommy said you were sick of Betty's boyfriends. Well, at times. You who? Anybody home? Oh, it's just Janie. Is that you, Janie? Come on in. Hi, Betty. Oh, hello, Mr. Henderson. Hello, Janie. Come on, let's go in the den, Janie. Okay. Better leave the door open so I can hear you. Don't cheat. How's it going? Just awful. Father cheats. He keeps trying to trap me and he won't fall into any of the traps I set for him. Oh, that's mean. I'm afraid it's going to end in a draw and then I won't get the money. The man's going to be here with the dress pretty soon. Gosh. Why'd you call me over? Can I help you? Oh, yes. Now, listen, I want you to get some... one of those things. What things? Are you kidding? Boys? Certainly. And I want you to have it call Father. It? Can't you even say him? Well, I'm not taking a chance. I've got to have that dress. Now, you have it call Father and tell him it wants to buy a big insurance policy and be sure and tell him to ask Father to quote prices. Oh, I get it. And tell him to get real mad if Father refuses. Roger. Now, hurry up. There's not much time left. Come on. Okay, I'll hurry. Don't fail me. I'll see you later. Okay. I'm dying to see your new dress. Bye. Bye. New dress? You sound pretty confident. Why not? I'm going to win, aren't I? Well, that remains to be seen. Hey, sis, will you help me with some problems? Who, me? Number three. I suspect another trap here. Let me see that. Number three. If there are 36 pupils in a school room and there are twice as many girls as... Huh? And so, Neckle retreated slowly as the... as the angry panther glared down at him. Father. There was fire in the panther's eyes. Well, how about it, sis? What's the answer? Ask Father. He seems to know all the answers. Thank you. Gosh, a fellow can't get any help around this place anymore. Mom! As the black panther leapt from the limb with a lightning leap. Mom! Neckle jumped nimbly to one side. Yes, sir. With all the agility of the ring-tailed baboon which he had come to know and love in Monkey Land. Jim, what in the world are you doing? Huh? Oh, I'm reading a story to Kathy. Kathy? She's outside playing with Patty. She is? Well, what do you know about that? She was here when I started. Mom, will you help me with my arithmetic? Oh, I'm not very good at arithmetic. Get your father to help you or Betty. They won't help me. Well, I have a reason. If Ned runs two miles downhill in 47 minutes and Tom runs up the same hill... You shouldn't run uphill. It's not good for the heart. Well, that was Tom's idea, not mine. There's the phone, Father. You better get it. Why me? It's probably for you, probably that boy calling. What's his name? I haven't the least idea what you're talking about. I'll get it. Jerry, is it? Or, uh, Harry? I'm not talking. Hello? How soon will this silly bet be over? I'd like to see it continue for quite a while. Yeah, just a minute. Hey, Betty, it's for you. For me? Some character by the name of Larry. Yeah, that's it. Larry, you better go talk to him, Betty. Tell it. I'll call it later. Huh? But can't you understand anything? Do you have to be so stupid? No, I don't have to. Betty says to tell it to call it later. I haven't got the slightest idea. Yeah, it does, don't it? What did it say? It hung up. Look, readers. Everything's ruined now. No, it isn't. Do you give up? What's all this it business? Mother, what time is it? Oh, it's about four o'clock. Well, I don't care what it's about. I've got to know exactly. I'll tell you, it's exactly three minutes after four. You've still got seven minutes to go. Do you give up? I don't know. I haven't got any reason to win the dress now. Oh, it's not that serious. Yes, it is. You heard what happened when little Goonface there got on the phone. I'll get it. Oh, no, you don't. I'm not going to take another chance. If you talk to him, you lose. I don't care. Hello? I knew she couldn't hold out. Oh, I'm so glad you called back. This was all a misunderstanding. Well, I'm sorry she lost, but I'm glad it's over. Well, that was my brother, and he hardly ever knows what he's talking about. Hey, now wait a minute. Well, actually, it was all part of a silly bet in which I was going to win $59.95. $59, it was 49. Yes, but you lose, too. You're talking to Larry. No, I'm not. Janey, look. Well, here now, this isn't fair. You said on the phone you were glad he called back and... You better answer the door, Father. That'll be for you. For me? I'm not expecting anyone. No, but I am a man from the Dolores Dress Shop, and you'd better have $49.95 ready. Hey, well, what is this? You'd better go, dear. By George, there's some mighty unfair tactics being used around here. The Andersons will be back in just a moment. Monday means music on NBC, and next Monday evening, you'll enjoy such beautiful musical programs as The Railroad Hour, The Voice of Firestone, and The Telephone Hour. Anne Ayers will co-star with Gordon McRae next Monday, as The Railroad Hour presents Jerome Kerns, The Girl from Utah. On The Voice of Firestone, guest Lois Hunt will sing Three Loves Have I from Song of Norway, and Mimi's Farewell from Lobbo Aime. Guest of The Telephone Hour will be Marion Anderson, and among her solos next Monday evening will be Deep River and Every Time I Feel the Spirit. Remember for the finest musical entertainment, tuned to NBC on Monday evening for The Railroad Hour, The Voice of Firestone, and The Telephone Hour. And now, back to the Andersons. Well, the wager's over, and as you well knew from the start, the winner is Betty. She's now happily dancing with her date in her new 49-95 formal. What about the loser? Well, he's been in the den all evening behind closed doors, and the family's a little worried about him. Like this. Do you think we ought to go in there and ask him if he's all right? I don't know. I never in the world thought he'd take losing so hard. This isn't at all like him. Want me to peek through the keyhole? That's not polite, Kathy. Besides, I tried it. Wait, I know what to do. Kathy, you go in there and get him to read you your new book. I don't like that old monkey-land thing. That's kid stuff. Besides, I don't even know where it is. Let me go in. I've still got to ask him how many apples with Tom O' Ned if Dick Lone Tom six more than half of what Ned got some of. Oh. Shh, wait a minute. I think I hear him coming. Oh, hello. What's this, uh, meeting? No, we were just getting a little worried about you. Brooding in there all evening. Brooding? Who's brooding? I've been reading. By George, you just wouldn't believe some of the narrow escapes that Neco had. You just wouldn't believe it. Again next week, when we'll be back with Father Knows Best starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson. Father Knows Best is an NBC radio network production in cooperation with Cavalier Enterprises. In our cast were Ted Donaldson as Bud, Gene Vanderpile, Rhoda Williams, Helen Strom, and Mary Lee Rod. Father Knows Best, based on characters created by Ed James, is written by Paul West and Roswell Rogers, directed by Arthur Jacobson, and transcribed in Hollywood. Play Truth or Consequences on the NBC Radio Network.