 Ranger Bill. Warrior of the woodland. Struggling against extreme odds. Traveling dangerous trails. Fighting the many enemies of nature. This is the job of the guardian of the forest. Ranger Bill. Pouring rain, freezing cold, blistering heat, snow, floods, bears, rattlesnakes, mountain lions. Yes, all this in exchange for the satisfaction and pride of a job well done. I'm sure we all thrilled at the stories of the Old West, the days when men very seldom live to a ripe old age because of Indians, hardship, and outlaws. Our story today involves a real Old Western character who can recall even farther back than Stumpy when times were rough and the Indians roamed about and Father said his prayers with his shotgun cock. Some folks call him the good old days, yet I doubt if there is one of us that would like to live back there after knowing the labor-saving devices we have today. But we'd better get on with the story, and here it is. Houseboat Charlie. Houseboat Charlie is really an old timer. He got the name Houseboat from the fact that he's been the ferry boatman across Misery Crossing ever since he was knee-high to a toadstool. Not only does Charlie run the ferry across the powerful and treacherous Shady River, but he lives on the ferry itself. Ralph, Stumpy, Graywolf, and I were just coming to Misery Crossing on horseback after being out on the North trails for almost four weeks. Charlie's great-grandson, Jr., was there with the old gentleman as youth. Hey, Gramps, here come the Rangers. Well, I'll be digging if you ain't right, Junior. That's Bill and his friend. Looks like they're pretty beat, Gramps. Yeah, I'd say you're right. Then there are fellas about on the trail for quite a spell. Say, they've packed me all the way. Hello, Charlie. Junior. Hello, Bill. You fellas look beat. Been on the trail long? I'll say almost four weeks. Wow. Well, it's good to stand on my feet for a change. You're not just joking, Sonny. I'm glad we walked the rest of the way home. The muscles in my legs are shrinking from sitting so much. What do you fellas do when you're gone so long? We inspect all fire lines. We cover all kinds of trees to see they have good health. We watch animals. We make count of animals in government parks. And their health and actions. We inspect all tourist trails to make sure they're safe. And we do punty other things at the same time. Wow. You see, we've got to make sure that the tourists will be safe from danger. That is, as long as they stay on the marked trails that we set up for them. Well, as soon as we get back to town, I'll send out men and small groups to begin their work of fixing things up and making improvements. Hey, you've got quite a job right and heard on all this forest. Say, why don't you fellas come aboard and set us down? They've got a good coffee pot and some fresh biscuits. How fresh, Charlie? Three days old, your war is coming. That's the freshest biscuit you ever had, you old tadpole snatcher. Let's eat, fellas. You don't have to put some of that there foam rubber on her saddles. Why is that, B? Here, easy chair, Charlie's. Don't get up, old timer. I know what you mean. Charlie, we appreciate your hospitality. We really were trail weary and saddle sore. That's right, we're really tired. Charlie, where'd you ever learn to keep your houseboat looking so nice? Well, my missus taught me before she was killed in an Indian raid. Your wife was killed by Indians? That's right, Ralph. I thought you knew almost everyone around here does. Now that I think of it, I guess I did hear it. That's when the name this place, Misery Crossing. Tell us the story again, Gramps. Oh, you've heard that story a hundred times, Junior. I know, but tell it again, please. Well, are you fellas' mind? No, I'd like to hear it again, Charlie. It's been many years since I've heard you tell how this place got its name. I'd like to hear it again, too. That goes for me, likewise. Charlie, Charlie, I'll dream of the good old days. Well, I'm listening. You fellas must be flum-tuckered to want to sit and listen to this. Hello, sir. This is the only place up or down the shady river that's any good for crossing. It's deep here, but the old river's kind of quiet and peaceful. So me and Cougar West decided to build a ferry here to take folks and cattle across the river. Now me and Cougar knew that this would be a bad place for engine attacks because there's high canyon walls all around. Outlaws will get the drop on you, too. But it's the only place for 15 miles up or down the river where a man or animal can cross and expect to make it with a whole hide. So me and Cougar West went into business and it came fast and furious. Charlie, me and the boys have got 500 head of steers back on the ferry. They want you to ferry the herd across. That's what we're here for, Marsh. How much? Well, what do you think, Cougar? I'd say $100. Well, that's what I'm thinking. $100, Marsh. Well, I call that a reasonable price. I'll save more than that because I don't have to drive the herd the extra 50 miles. In fact, I'd call that dirt cheap. No, we ain't here to skin-fold, even though we could. Me and Cougar are trying to build a business. We figure we'll make more money and have a lot more friends and customers by being honest. There's, uh, one thing, however... What's that? You travel at your own risk. Them rocks up there sometimes get full of rustlers and engines. I know that. I'll have some of my boys ride high just in case. Okay, when will you be here? Sooner. We'll be late. Well, shit, rustlers must have smelled that trail here to come in. Just as we were about loaded for the first trip, the fireworks started. Oh, for this load! Okay, Charlie! I thought putting this herd across the river right away... It was bad enough, but engines were worse. Why, they'd follow a wagon train right down here to the crossing. Charlie, get you shooting on! Here comes a wagon train! Bestie Rich! That's the way it was almost all the time. Rustlers, hold-out men, Indians, and the weather, floods, blizzards, and what have you. Almost everyone had a miserable time getting to the ferry. So we decided to call this misery crossing. Thanks, Gramps. I like the part about the Indians the best. And you're a red-blooded American boy. All right, yes, sir. That's right. Well, Charlie, we've got to move along home. Thanks for the story. The coffee and the biscuits. Thank you, sir. Bring your horses and me holds a board, and I'll take you to the other side of misery crossing. You won't have to do any shooting, though. It's in the kitchen sink! And how? I've not seen it rain hard like this for a long time. Neither have I. I'll say. I got it just in time. I got it. Arrange your headquarters. What's that? How long ago? We'll ride out there right away and see if there's anything we can do. Right. Goodbye. What happened, Bill? Flash flood hit Spring Valley about half an hour ago. Uh-oh. Did it clean the valley out? Yeah, it sure did. Well, let's go and see what we can do, if anything. Well, we're probably too late. Whoa, sir. Easy, big boy. Boy, it cleaned out the ranches of Spring Valley. Clean as a whistle. That sure did, and without warning, flash floods are terrible monsters. They can strike any time with terrific power. Yep. There's no greater force in the wall of water 15 or 20 feet high rushing down a valley or canyon. Not too bad. Maybe we go down and see if anyone's still alive. Right. What a pleasant job this is going to be. We knew all the folks in Spring Valley. Uh-huh. Now, being an undertaker isn't going to be any fun, that's for sure. Well, let's get on with it. We'll be finished that much sooner. Here's young Hollings. Easy, big. Yep. I'll lay him here with his parents' dumpy. Yep. Seven families wiped out of the last man, woman and child. And the cattle and stock and ranch buildings gone tow. Boy, the thing must have hit with a terrific wall. Now, here comes some rescue parties. We'll let them take these bodies back into town. We've got to ride and warn the other people to live in the valleys and canyons around here. Ray Wolfe, Stumpy, you fellas ride west, warn the people in Beaver Canyon, Apple Valley, Spruce Canyon, and farther on. Okay, we meet you back in town. Where are we going, Bill? We'll cover all the valleys and canyons to the east. All right, let's go. Come on, Bill. We're too late for Mellon Valley. Let's go. We're too late all the time, huh? Oh, sure, young fella. You know, east and west, with the storm split in two, we've got to get ahead of it. Come on, Maturi! Finally got in front of the storm. Right. You take the ranch on the left. I'll take the one down the road on the right. Sound the alarm, and then ride to the next place. Okay. Paul Revere won't have a thing on me. See you later. Easy, boy. What's all the ruckus about, Ranger? Flash flood warning. Get your family and leave the valley as fast as you can. Head for high ground. Right away, and thanks. Come on, storm boy. When you had some men continue to spread the alarm, the storm and bests are beat. Especially bests. I know she is. Storm's winded, but he's a young horse. Be able to ride hard after a brief rest. Where are you going from here? Honestly, Houseboat Charlie, you want me to go too? Stay out on the high ground and walk best back to town. Tell Stompy and Grey Wolf where I've gone. I'll meet you at headquarters. I'm going to get a storm, ten minutes more rest, and then head for Misery Crossing. Boy, if a flash flood catches Houseboat Charlie flatfooted, he'll really be in Misery. Pass the musklets about the flash flood bill. They don't scare me no. But, thanks. Tell them any of them might be fine. Right down here, just for that. Charlie, you're not going to laugh this off, are you? I'm sure. I know this river like an older back of a handbill. Been living on it for 65 years. Perhaps. But a flash flood would sweep you right to your death like so much debris. Yo, your ferry and your house would be gone in an instant. Oh, sure. I ain't seen this river at any time, but I couldn't handle it. Young fellow, I know every mood of the shady from sun up to sun down from January to February. Don't be foolish now, Charlie. Get your block and tackle out and pull your ferry up onto the bank. Those canyon walls will make the flood just that much more vicious, like forcing water through a funnel under high pressure. Oh, back in line of seven, when the shady flood and worse it ever has, old Houseboat Charlie kept right on running his ferry. Oh, I ain't up here to this river. I'm warning you, maybe for the last time, get your ferry off the river. I'll help you. No, that ferry stays on the river. I ain't up here to it, not sad. I don't chew my cabbage twice, Bill Jefferson. Okay. I hope you won't be sorry. I won't be. I know this river. You're about to throw a flash to order any kind of angry fit. I hope you're right. Well, I gotta head back to town now. I hope I'll see you again. You will. Don't you fret about that. You will see me again. Hey, Storm. Have some supper. I'll get you some oats in a few minutes. Hey, Gray Wolf, how'd you and Stumpy make out? Well, we do good, Bill. Not many people live in valley or canyon to west. Ground too poor. We get chance to warn everybody before Storm here. No, that's fine. How'd you make out with Charlie? I didn't. Tubber is a mule. He doesn't believe the river will throw a flash flood and he won't budge an inch. Figures he owns the river, huh? That's about the size of it, Stumpy. Oh, the houseboat's been there so long, he's grown roots right into the ground. A flash flood can tear out the deepest roots, old timer. You ain't telling me nothing. I ain't already seen them all in two eyes for a fact. Are the flash floods over with? Yeah, as far as we can tell. That's another big thunder head shows up and dumps its load into the right places. Well, let's put the horses to bed and go back to the office. Port on the teletype. Yeah, what's it say? Fair and warm for the next couple of days. It's been relaxing, huh? Maybe. What do you mean by that, Sonny? There's a deep cold front coming down and they figure it'll stop just about 50 miles north of Canyon City. Where the Bureau put on frost warning? Not yet. But it's going to be in the upper 30s. Man, that's cold for this time of year. You said it. Well, let's let sleeping dogs lie. Right. What the matter with you, old timer? A rocking chair after doing so much horseback riding? What's so old-fired funny? You and that look on your face. You look funny, too, if the back of your lap ain't like mine, don't you? I'll get you a couple of pillows. Oh, there's a first-class hiding place. I don't know, but I'll dig some up if I have to fill gunny sacks with hay. Tell everyone, Sonny, I guess I'll live through it. I just want to row. Okay, Stumpy, we go outside and let you take Catnap. Thank you, Gravel. It's good to see you, man. There goes old Ripsaw Jenkins. Gramps, what's on your mind? I'm kind of worried about a flash flood coming along. Oh, don't you fret, young man. While your grandpa knows this river, like he knows you, I can tell way ahead of time when she's gonna kick up her heels like a bronchol. Okay, Gramps, I believe you. Don't you let them rangers scare you, Sonny. Oh, they're nice fellas, and they mean well, but they can't tell me anything I don't know about this river already. No, sir, not a thing I don't know already. Here come some folks that want variant, Gramps. Well, that's what they'll get. They won't get their feet wet either. Well, crank up this old engine and you'll cross over and kick them out. What can you tell by looking at the river that it isn't gonna flash flood? Well, and I just can't at all. You know how much ever long as I am, you'll know what I mean. I just know. There ain't nothing scientific about it at all. I just know. If I listen to Stumpy much longer, I'm gonna lie right down here on the floor and go to sleep, too. Oh, I think same thing. I know what you mean, all right. Never mind, it's probably for me. Ranger Adquarters, Bill Jefferson speaking. Yes? It will, huh? Well, sure, we'll be glad to lend a hand. Yeah, yeah, right away. Goodbye. What's up? We're going to fight frost tonight. They want us to help them. We fly helicopter all night to keep air stirred up so frost not get through. Right. You and I'll take a big twin-rotor copter up there and take shifts flying it all night for them back and forth over their orchards. Ah, that's a good idea. How about Stumpy and me? The old timer's done in. I think you've had enough for one day yourself. Well, I guess you're right. I'll get home and to bed right away. Good. Wake the old timer before you go home and tell mom I'll see you in the morning. Okay. Have fun. We will. It'll be back and forth over the same area all night long. Now let's go, Gray Wolf. Right. Ralph, don't let old timers saw too much wood or floor break from weight. I won't. I'll carry it outside and stack it. Using helicopter to mix one round air with cold night air. That's a good idea. Yeah. Beats using smudge pots is only hit and miss. Slightest ace breeze the windchiff really upsets the apple car with smudge pots. Maybe we better begin shifts now. You sleep and I take the first turn. You think you can hold out that long? I think so. I feel like I fall asleep by a wick you up. Good. A couple of hours of sleep will fix me up fine. And you can have the rest of the night off. It looks like plan. You're not Iron Man. Okay. I'll see you in a few hours. Poor Bill and Gray Wolf didn't get much sleep of it. Uh-oh. I better get that. Hello? Yeah. Oh man, alive. Yeah, yeah. I'll get right over to headquarters and call Bill on the radio. Yes. Yes, goodbye. It's the whole story, Bill. It's all right on the shady river. How long ago did they call you? About half an hour. Did they say when the storm would hit? No, but I gathered it was already beginning to pour in the country above misery crossing. Okay. Get the old timer and head for the crossing. We'll try to get the Houseboat Charlie in time. Oh, Bill. Yeah? I hope not. We'll have to try and rescue two of them. Over and out. We have this flying banana hole it's got. Now you're not joking. Now drop down so I can see the crossing. That's dangerous. Many ridges. We'll have to risk it. Okay, we go down. I can see the ferry. You're right on the beam, all right. Over the copter now. Right. Lower cable fast. I can see flash flood coming now. Gray Wolf, I'm going down on the cable. That way I can get Charlie into the harness faster. When I get the signal, lift us to high ground. I'll hang on to the cable. Right. You're going out muddy and quick. Flash flood none more than half mile away. I still say you're wrong. Never mind who's right and who's wrong. Now you're buckled in. All right, here we go. Your ferry is nice to match six. Yep. Sure is. Well, I'll build another one. You hadn't rescued me there. It wouldn't be anymore. Houseboat Charlie. Because I'd be drowned. And I guess I don't know everything about the river. Yes, some folks have to learn the hard way, I guess. But Houseboat Charlie built another ferry and put his house on it as well. But he isn't boasting anymore that he knows all there is to know about the river. Well, see you next week for more adventure with... Stumpy Jenkins speaking for Ranger Bill and saying, don't forget to hit the trail with us every week at this time for lots of exciting adventure with all the Ranger gang. Henry Scott and Gray Wolf and Bill, of course. Me, the old timer, are all on hand from time to time to bring you the best stories we can find. So you tune in to Naughty Pine and learn the latest that's happening on the Ranger station. Or in the mountains and forests nearby. Or maybe even someplace further away. Because that young fellow, Bill, gets into all kinds of situations and troubles and complications when he's trying to help somebody else. So you'll be sure to join up with us next week for this half-hour of storytelling. And then you won't lose out on anything that's going on. I'll be looking for you. Don't disavoid me!