 For a moment, I'm gonna assume that if you're watching this video You're a woman who wants a serious relationship with a man and you want to get inside a guy's head And you might be either single looking for love or you're currently in a relationship And you want to get a better sense of how does the man Operate from his mind and we're gonna lean into that conversation today. So I'm really excited. I Think it's really important to recognize that While a lot of dating coaches will tell you that men and women are completely different And a lot of male coaches will tell you not male coaches But a lot of men will tell you that men are very simple. I think that's just the Absolute opposite of the truth. Okay. I don't believe men are very simple. I think that they can be very Complicated and I think what I'm about to share with you will shed some light as to why men are Confusing and this is true of women as well. So It's not just a gender thing I know when you when you listen to what I'm about to share you'll get a better sense of Understanding human behavior understanding why people do what they do in the relationship realm particularly in the relationship realm and Maybe after this you'll get a better sense of how to approach relationships in the future and As I've said frequently on my channel women have a propensity of giving their power away to men And we're gonna talk about the seven ways women give their power away After we talk about those 11 ways to get inside a guy's head So many of you complain that I drag on and on in my videos and I don't get to the point I think we're gonna get to the point very quickly today because we today we have a lot to cover and Then after I share this we're going to go into Q&A So those who are regulars on my channel know to ask questions in the chat box And if you're watching the replay as well really quickly if you're brand in my channel Please hit that subscribe button Please hit that bell if you'll be notified of new videos and only do that if you genuinely Appreciate the content in this video. Oh And please like and share it with your friends. Okay, so those 11 ways to get inside a man's head I think many of you have been indoctrinated in the understanding that men These three main things I think we've all as I said a moment ago been indoctrinated and to assume that that's how men operate in in relationship There's a lot of assumptions of how men Operate in relationships based on three three factors and yet I believe that there's a lot more that make up How a man operates in a relationship? So excuse me while I take a sip of my coffee and I forgot to put sugar in it My bad. So, oh, where's my glasses? So let me put on my trusty glasses so we can jump into it number one is instinct and Basically the instinct of each gender We talked about men being provider protectors Okay, so a lot of times for men women are the nurturers in relationships so a lot of dating and relationship advice is based on this premise of men are the provider and the protectors, okay now what's interesting about this as Men and that might be true for men in their early stages of development when their testosterone levels are high When they haven't been married before that might be a true statement And yet isn't it interesting how many men in particular after they've gone through a divorce? They are very reluctant to want to take on the financial Responsibility of another human being but Jonathan men are provider protectors They're supposed to pay for dates and they're supposed to do those things. Yes, you've heard that and yet most of you in midlife have Witnessed significant percentage of men who don't operate in this way So how does that instinct? Apply to those people that are supposed to want to do that I can tell you it doesn't apply because there's a lot more factors to consider in a human's personality in a person's behavior than just this idea that men are provider protectors And quite frankly our men really good at protecting a woman's emotions That's not instinctual and yet I believe that should be one of the fundamentals of Genuinely caring for someone when you can actually not just provide financially, but also protect Emotionally and many of you who said well men are supposed to do that Well, that's not part of the caveman the caveman instinctual thing that goes neo neanderthals are 200,000 years ago Do you really think they read books on emotional intimacy and read books about you know emotional connection and and Protecting someone's emotions that was an instinctual Certainly to the degree that we are today and throw social media into the mix that's changed everything But that's another conversation. So is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know Please hit that like button as well. Number two is biology Men have testosterone and women have estrogen and women excrete, you know To create oxytocin and they bond with men and men want to spread their seed Okay, certainly when you've heard the term men are hunters. What are they hunting? They're hunting that capacity to spread their seed, you know So so again these two particular one men are hunters and men are provider protectors is the basis for so much Dating a relationship advice that really while it's certainly part of the equation It's not the whole equation and then let's talk about Socialization boys are socialized different than girls Yet sadly most boys have been socialized to stuff in their feelings Don't show emotions be a man tough it out and Sadly women have been socialized as little girls by the way. I was talking about little girls Boys from I'm gonna go little girls. It's all about Objectification from a looks perspective, you know, what was that cuties? series on Netflix, I mean all about beauty pageants and such we overemphasize looks for women we objectified looks for women based on Vogue magazine and Cosmopolitan and such and certainly little girls have been socialized different from that perspective as well as every other perspective as socialization and How does this affect someone? You know, I know a little girl who was really pretty when she was younger I don't personally know I know this from her mother She was bullied She was bullied by the girls in her school so much so that they used to make references. You should just kill yourself. You're worthless Wow, think about how little children and boys. I know I was picked on as a boy I was picked on Habitually because my parents were from another country How do you think that affected me for as I grew up? What kind of traumas occur when we're socialized a certain way? And that's another factor. We have to consider this all of this makes up all the traumas. We've experienced as Men and women or excuse me as boys and girls and how that affects us as men and women and Each person's trauma is different has nothing to do with whether or not they have a penis or vagina That's why this whole narrative that men and women are different. No, we can each be habitually Traumatized in being each person's unique to their own But trauma isn't based on gender and it affects us socially it affects us interpersonally it affects us individually Number three is the socialization number four is the imprinting what we experience by our mothers and our fathers and those who are our Caretakers growing up. I grew up in a middle-class home kind of average. I Had my mother who was probably a borderline narcissist my father had an aggressive temper And I've certainly recognized how I followed some of the patterns of my parents or rejected some of my patterns of my parents But our childhood wounds and traumas Can affect exactly how we shape up as adults in relationship If you're not familiar with the book The Hoffman process the Hoffman process this book does a deep dive into healing childhood wounds and traumas and adult Promise that affect us as adults when we get older This plays a part in it and this isn't based on gender This isn't based on the provider protector and men are the hunters and all you have to do is lean back in your feminine energy And let that guy claim you Imprinting doesn't contemplate that masculine and feminine energy doesn't Contemplate the idea of how we were imprinted as children. Did we turn into? Anxious attachments did we turn into avoidant detachers? Do we try to mirror our parenting? Experience if you're not familiar with two critically important books Yeah, I forgot to pull these out earlier Attached by a mere Levine and Rachel Heller and getting the love you want by Harville Hendricks and Helen Hunt this Explains how we humans are rather fucked up in Our ability to attach and and connect with human beings that has nothing to do with the masculine and feminine energy in the penis and vagina number five our age and our life experiences our age are we are we marriage-minded age are we? Divorce do we have have we gone through health issues? Have we gone through a traumatic divorce? Have we gone through multiple? Relationships I was watching a show last night with my girlfriend. She I don't know why I was watching this one with her Addicted to marriage and there was one woman who had been married 11 times Do you think and by the way? It was funny her hairdresser says have you ever thought that you were the common denominator? In the problems in your marriages. Have you ever considered that? Folks all of these play a factor in the makeup of a person's personality And if you want to get inside a guy's head you need to be contemplating though this instead of the provider protector Narrative that is so it's all about the provider protector. That's all you need to know about a man He's a hunter and provider protector Really there's a lot more to a human being than those just two things Number six the cultural and religious upbringing of a person There's a vast difference between people that were grown were raised in like I've been watching the Indian matchmaker Which I actually do like that show but from India from from Latin countries from you know from Asian countries from Africa from all these different places people's Cultural and then their religion plays a factor in how they show up in Relationship or how they show up viewing relationships, and it's critically important to recognize this Instead of just the provider protector narrative and the hunter protector and men are supposed to chase It's all the men are supposed to do Yeah Are women's just supposed to open their legs and let a guy have sex with her whenever he wants is that the Relationship you want. I hope that's not the case socio-economic and education number seven Were they born were they rich were they poor were they average? How was their education? You know all of this can create traumas their life experiences can create traumas Religion and culture can create traumas and search socially social and Economic and education plays a factor in how someone shows up in the dating mating and relating realm Certainly if someone was born poor they might have a different perspective than someone was born into well Someone who has an education versus or higher higher degrees of education versus those who don't this all plays a factor into a person's personality Number eight their physical appearance their physical health That plays a factor and a lot of people I know have issues around this area You know my dearest friend will openly admit He's OCD because he was a pudgy kid and now he He starves of not starves himself. He deprives himself of what we might think are guilty pleasures to Maintain his health and a lot of people do a poor job of maintaining their health I am guilty of doing a poor job and sadly I'm now paying the price for this as a as an adult who's in midlife Having to be on certain medications and that can affect our physical health can affect our sexual health It can affect our sexual performance and certainly as men age We have ED to contend with them. Do you know how shameful that is for a man? But Jonathan men are supposed to be provider protectors and their hunters and that's all I need to know in the dating realm Let me tell you something the shame Associated with that just like ladies you have your own level of body shaming and such that plays a factor and how we Connect with another human being and let's not discount that number nine Are they introspective? Do they look inside? Do they do personal development self-help and spiritual work to heal the traumas? I talked about before because mostly everything after I shared the first two we've experienced traumas in our lives I'm yelling I Find myself incredibly passionate on this one because this is the subject that drives me crazy When most dating advice is centered around men or provider protectors and that's all you need to know Introspective does this person look inward has he does this person? Choose to heal the traumas that might have happened in their life. Maybe they're divorced. I know my girlfriend There's a picture of my beloved By the way, she'll be in a video in a few days. I'll be posting a video for an eye in a few days You know she after her divorce she went to a divorce recovery workshop to heal She spent three weeks doing a deep dive to heal the trauma and I want you to understand something divorce is an unraveling of the tapestry of your life and Then there's that important opponent of how to reintegrate yourself This is one of the reasons why I wrote my book what the heck is self-love anyway a journey of personal development Self-help and spiritual work by the way, there's a link below to get a copy of my book And all the books I recommend there's a link below introspective work doing the healing actually Doing the work to genuinely work on loving oneself That's an invitation I have for all of you Number eight or number ten. Excuse me. What is a man's emotional intelligence? By the way, where's my notes here? I want to read this So man's is he comprehensive? Does he understand your context? Does he have good communication skills? this all plays into a factor of Understanding whether or not somebody is genuinely relationship ready Everybody thinks they have good communication skills. It actually cracks me up Do you ever watch the show couples therapy on showtime? It illustrates how poor couples are and Articulating their feelings and ladies you're no good. You're no better at this Just because you have a propensity to maybe vomit your feelings and please excuse the narrative of vomit But I think women sometimes can be overly expressive with their feelings thinking that they're good communicators And then women alike have poor emotional maturity and relationship skills I think the vast majority of people are terrible at At that and more importantly emotional maturity and relationship skills. I think most humans are rather dysfunctional Until you've actually done the work and I habitually put my foot in my mouth in this area So I'm not here to profess that I'm the best at this either And lastly number 11 number 11 is Really this one is for you radical honesty Ask better questions of a man lay your cards on the table Guys will shoot themselves in the foot if you ask enough good questions and pay attention If you ask enough good questions and pay attention This is why by the way right here's a link to my coaching by the way, there's a link below as well My whole coaching is centered around understanding relationship readiness and The hierarchy of relationship readiness which includes getting clarity on on who's truly compatible with you and then asking the What I call it pre radical honesty pre qualifying your prospect ladies You do a terrible job at this because you oftentimes as I said earlier You give your power away to men you give your power away to men In a moment, I'll share seven ways you give your power away and maybe what I'm about to share will help you recognize how you play a part in this equation of wanting a series of our Determining a serious relationship and now that you've got a better understanding of how to get inside a guy's head Maybe you'll be better prepared To put yourself out there in a more open and yet Detached way so let me share with you those seven ways women give their power away because I said this earlier Bear with me one second everyone Okay, really quickly Seven ways women give their power away by the way if you Google that title Excuse me if you go to YouTube and type in that title I shot a video on this but I'm gonna really quickly talk about this the relationship is all on his terms You abandon your standards and boundaries number two you're afraid to speak your truth with him Number three when a relationship ends the focus is all on him and not yourself Number four waiting on him to initiate contact basically needing some level of validation You stop number five you stop doing your pre relationship life your interest your activities your friends after meeting the man Number six feeling like you can't live without him and number seven You think the other the other person is the that excuse me You think the man is the only person in your entire universe who will love you and have chemistry with you the way you did with him I Witness women habitually giving their power away to men in this way and it's no wonder we have a dysfunctional relationship Dynamic going out on in the world So again, you now have a better understanding of how men operate in relationship And you also understand how maybe you give your power away as well. What can we do differently now? first be your best self be your best self That includes learning good communication skills that means going to workshops that means studying that means healing your childhood wounds and Traumas and adult traumas number two get crystal clear on who's compatible with you and learn the right questions to ask That's what I teach in my coaching number three make yourself attractive enough to be seen by single eligible men Staying at home and praying that magic fairy dust will make the guy up here isn't going to work You have to put yourself out there and you have to learn good flirting skills And lastly number four you have to learn how to maintain a relationship and make it thrive Maintain and thrive a relationship if you don't have the skills to make this happen It's going to be incredibly difficult to have the kind of partnership that I talk about frequently Because my whole channel is only for those who seek partnership in relationship who want serious relationship Not those folks that are looking for casual relationships friends with benefits cyber relationships or situationships That's not what I focus on my focus is those serious relationship Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know please hit that like button Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel. Please hit the bell check out the links below and Certainly post a comment. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this All right, I think this will be a great place to now do our Q&A Our Q&A if you have a question write the word question then post the question there after or you can purchase a super sticker Super a chat all the monies from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Connor Asley that's a picture of him right there by the way And Doing a little test That's a picture from there. He's my son who passed away a few years ago and in his honor I've started a scholarship fund in his name to donate to causes like the Hoffman process and insight Institute Just a name of you. All right. Oh, by the way, you can purchase a super. Thanks. If you're listening to the replay All right, I saw a question come in Bear with me a second I Could have swore I saw a question come in Oh here from Kim. There we go question Any advice on dating a widower with a large age difference? Well, my first thoughts when dating someone with a large age difference is our our culture How we might be culturally or not culture. Excuse me Our socialization how it might be different. That's one of the one things is, you know Someone who's a baby boomer might be different than someone who's a millennial for example So that's one thing to consider widowers Oftentimes if they had a very healthy relationship with their spouse who passed away They might still be attached to that spouse and depending how soon that that transition Happened will might play a factor now a lot of widowers. They don't like being alone So they immediately attached themselves to the new person they meet or some might want to go So their seeds so to speak I Think it's still the same thing asking yourself these 11 questions I brought up today would be a good way to prepare yourself To get a better sense and remember radical honesty at the more I want you to think of yourself like a detective The more questions you ask a man the better sense you have of who he is So that's my invitation for you. Thank you so much for that question Kim. I really appreciate it Now Alexandra says pay attention is meant to is To me meant to give some time to digest then see what he says and does not everyone processes at the same speed Yes, pay attention very good Leaf says good points Jonathan We all female or male have to stay on track the work and empower yourself heal before you deal Exactly. Thank you for sharing that. Oh, I guess it's on my nose. All right Pam writes a question Chatting with a guy a few days two hours away meeting halfway tomorrow Is it too soon to split the lunch bill told him no physical intimacy right away courtship first? I said I respect myself you know Mo I like what Matthew Hussie says most men if they're raised right will pick up the bill on a first date and Most women who are raised right will offer to Contribute to the bill now most men if you do offer are gonna say no I've got it and you could simply say hey, can I pick up the tip? Can I pick up dessert? Can I take you out for ice cream later? Can I pick up your valet do something that demonstrates that you're not a taker a lot of men especially at midlife? Think women are takers. I'm not saying women are takers I just say a lot of men at midlife see women is that way especially if they had a contentious divorce with a woman who felt like a taker to him so So Do the gracious thing offer he's most likely gonna reject and if you do offer any he feels a little reluctant You know like that might be putting him in the friend zone. You can simply say you know what? I want to show my appreciation for your efforts. Can I contribute? That's still I'd like to see you again This isn't this isn't putting you in the friend zone. That's certainly one way of approaching it Give it a shot and then let us know how it works out. We want to hear how your date goes Alright Thank you Pam. I appreciate that one. All right Question it's always been said people don't change. Do you think if a man cares enough for you? He will grow differently to accommodate your relationship Well, you know, I was a bachelor before I met my beloved I had a habit of like I could go a couple days without cleaning my place And that's something she likes to have a clean home. So I'm a little bit more I I am shifted my Slight laziness. So yes men have a capacity to change. I also think as we age we get very set in our ways So I believe when a couple actively works on co-creating a relationship write this down everyone Co-creating a relationship. In other words, it is a you see the relationship beyond this the fairytale surface and Actually do Couples work like for example my girlfriend. I once a month do a couple's workshop Sometimes we do it just through ours with ourselves through some of the material I have sometimes we do it with a group We actively are co-creating the relationship. We we work as a team in the relationship So I do believe people can Heal their childhood wounds and traumas more so they can be healing their childhood wounds and traumas Which will that will help eliminate negative patterns and limiting beliefs in their lives But I believe you have to do that work both separately and in relationship So you have to be remember I talked about number 10 the number nine the introspective work. I Think if someone isn't introspective It's gonna be difficult for them to grow into a healthy to grow into emotional maturity Which is necessary for a healthy happy relationship. Is this sinking in? Okay? I hope it does. Thank you so much for that question I really appreciate it. Thank you Daniela writes is the saying once a cheater always a treat cheater true when I first started dating my now Boyfriend he came clean about the fact he cheated on his previous relationship First off. No, that is not true. I have known men who Have cheated in their past relationships and then are very Monogamous with their or in exclusive with their current partner You have to look at why the cheating happens. Some people have Their sex aholics there they have sexual Addictions, okay, so cheating for them The reason behind it is because they've most likely had a significant childhood wound that Causes them not to feel loved through physical intimacy, but they believe this is just my pseudo-psychological perspective on this My pseudo-psychological perspective on why this happens. It may not be accurate But there are people with sexual addictions then there are people that were genuinely Physically lonely in their relationship and they wanted to get some level of connection with somebody So they went and saw it elsewhere and They might be in a relationship where they have great intimacy now and they don't need to seek it elsewhere So for those cases, I do believe we're a man or woman cheated once before and now are in a very healthy sexual Relationship provided they don't have sexual hang-ups and sexual addictions I think it's quite possible that they can be absolutely faithful in a relationship. I do believe that to be the case All right, thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it. All right, let's keep going Victoria question I have question All right, Sarah writes question my boyfriend has a six-year-old son. We've been dating for Dating four months. How long should I wait to meet a son? I feel hesitant because it's not fair to the little guy if things do not work out So does your penis get does his penis get to regularly go in your vagina question number one question number two Have you talked about what you're both seeking in a relationship? What commitment looks like what a relationship looks like number two Number three. Are you both on the same page? Have you laid your cards on the table? Or what are you seeking in a relationship? Okay, number four is Integrating family and friends into your life now. I recognize with small children This might be a big deal, but it's been four months. He's most most likely in his 40s You guys have to decide is this listen It doesn't take that long for a man to know if he wants a serious relationship with you now 80 to 90 percent of relationships today are casual Meaning they're meandering through relationship. They have no that no desire of a destination Most likely he's a man who wants companionship connection and sex without any real commitment So I think it's in coming upon you to talk about the future, but Jonathan I'm not supposed to ask about where this relationship is going. That's gonna scare a man off. Look it If you're not integrating family and friends into the life, then you don't know if this is gonna work out So I certainly would have some serious discussions and talk about this with him Determine if it makes sense to meet your children or each other's children That's my invitation for anyway. Thank you so much for that question, sir. I really appreciate it. Hey, I want to think Learned for the $1 Super sticker. I really appreciate it. Thank you so much Let's see bump bump bump bump bump. Pamela Dickinson writes question Victoria's question finally comes in question. I've been dating a guy for six months now I've always offered to pay half. He loves that about me. However, he has he has a girlfriend of ten years and she and Says he's going to leave her to be with me But I'm worried about him not leaving her. He tells me he loves me and is in love with me, too Folks, I don't believe in dating someone who's in a relationship with someone else just real quickly I don't believe with that. I don't like sharing myself with anyone else and I don't like to be shared by anyone else so He has a girlfriend you're not his girlfriend you pay half of going out I'm assuming you're having sex with him He gets all this is one of those cases where he does he gets he's getting the milk for free He doesn't have to buy the cow the likelihood of this turning into something serious is minimal at best Have some self-respect. Don't be in relation. Don't be dating someone who's in a relationship for some with someone else That to me is a lack of individual self-respect. That's a judgment on my part. Please listen. I'm not judging you I'm judging anyone who does that per se. I guess by default. I'm judging you But I mean really is that what you want? Do you want a relationship with a man who's someone who who? Make leave them in the future. That's almost the equivalent of dating someone who's married Okay, and they've been together for 10 years I'm I'm gonna suggest and the relationship or simply say you will not have sex with them ever again And he can pay for all the dates in the future until he's ended that relationship That's at least one option. Okay That's my two cents on that. By the way, does anyone else agree with me? Say Jonathan. I agree with your assessment for Victoria Thank you so much Pam says thank you for helping me regain my power and dating sometimes loneliness can make you vulnerable and you can compromise yourself indeed All right, Pamela writes question My guy after my guy after one asked to see boobies after first date I'm assuming I told him I was a I was a private beach in the Maui He told me he need to find some place to go. I did later. Then he became a ghost It's not really a question, but I'm sorry that happened for you Airy says Jonathan your great radical advice about relationships from the Philippines. Thank you so much all right Pamela says I was out of alignment by filling his filling his request exactly And by the way, everybody here Victoria agree agree Agree with my assessment agree with my assessment agree with my assessment Thank you I'm sorry. These were sent before I intubated. Okay. Thank you so much All right Do you have any personal questions to ask of me? folks In a few days, I will be Sharing a video with my beloved and I I hope you like it It's going to talk about long-distance dating as well as how we connected with each other and she will be on it Alexandra, thank you so much for the $10 super sticker. I appreciate it Horse lady says I agree with your assessment with Victoria. I wouldn't it wouldn't change until you shut or get off the pot exactly Victoria says to everybody. Thank you so much. I will end it. Yay. Oops pit stains Not proud of that. The lamps here are hot Thank you so much so much so happy to hear that folks listen One of the narratives and by the way, feel free to ask a question Don't forget to donate to the Conor as a scholarship fund um I am tired of the masculine and feminine and metter provider protectors narrative As if it is the catch-all for relationships I think what I shared in the beginning in this video those 11 things to consider to get inside a guy's head Gives us better insight into whether or not a man is capable of leaning into a healthy happy relationship And while I merely brushed upon those we could literally do a video on each one of these I think we need to let go of the The rhetoric out there and dig deeper to find out more about a person. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know Hey, I want to thank sarah for the four dollar super sticker All right, lauren writes question In another video you mentioned the different types of chemistry. Can you briefly repeat those? Sure? I can so We oftentimes think of chemistry as physical attraction And yet have you ever experienced an emotional connection with someone who is not your type? That's called emotional chemistry. Have you ever experienced? Uh, uh intellectual connection with somebody But they weren't your type We call that sapio sexual Have you ever been with those comedians photographers artist types? People that have a creative side to them alson armstrong calls this the adam sandler effect Adam sandler isn't the most handsome man on the planet yet. His comedy makes him incredibly attractive. I call that creative Certainly, there's sexual chemistry Men can have sexual chemistry with women who are not their type because they these women exude a sexuality about them There's also a protective type of chemistry. These are for the firemen the policemen the navy seals They have that, you know that alpha male type that james bond type that can protect you It may not be your type, but there's something incredibly attractive about those types of guys And then lastly, there's spiritual chemistry and that's the one that I think is hard to describe And yet I know it exists that spiritual chemistry with somebody who might not be your type Those are the basic types of chemistry in my coaching program that I talk about So thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it All right, let's keep swimming Kristen writes question I met him. I have met with what seems like a wonderful man He is smitten. How can I really tell if he is love bombing me or is just a chance I will have to take so you know limerence Which is extreme infatuation causes and I've done this so When a man feels infatuated we might do what's called love bombing meaning we just it's very expressive um But I a person who's emotionally mature Can temper that With the desire of wanting to get to know you so it's love bombing is all telling you how great you are to Convince you to drop your boundaries A man who genuinely wants to get to know you ask deeper questions about your life That's how you differentiate between the guy who's experiencing limerence versus the one who really wants to get to know you Okay Great question. Thank you so much Pamela says I was out of alignment for showing him my breasts after a year That's good. That's a good level of awareness to recognize when you're out of your own individual alignment Uh Pretty says if an artist draws you for free. He is he or she likely likes you That's an interesting thought. I I don't know if that's true, but that's an interesting thought Chrissy writes I bought eight dates. I seem to have only men who want nude photos They immediately get blocked. I think I'm a magnet for losers. Well, I'm happy you purchased the book called eight dates by doc Eight dates by doctors john and julie gotman before the penis ever goes inside the vagina Read the first chapter of this book And maybe read it with a guy at the same time This is a great book to help you understand the mechanics to a healthy happy relationship all right Crouching tiger hidden ruffa ruck question been dating a guy for 11 11 and a half or maybe it's one and a half months Thanks to your guidance slowly introducing family any advice over the holidays and family too soon or just go with it Grateful for all you do You know what? I think again. I'm a believer folks I don't think if two people genuinely like each other then dive into the deep end Be radically honest with each other lay your cards on the table test drive the relationship Now where does sex fit into this? I think it's important to be on the same page when it comes to what does commitment look like for you? And what does a relationship look like for you? Number two get a sense of their past relationships Is there are they currently in is there anyone who believes that they're in a relationship with them right now? Have they healed are they in a good place in their life is the is the foundation of their life in a good place? These are all things I would want to get to know Before I started to do a deep dive and at the end of the day doing it the sooner you get to know each other The sooner you dive into the deep end the faster you know if you're a good fit for one another And I think it should take somewhere, you know couples should be it shouldn't take more than about four to six weeks To become boyfriend and girlfriend So if you're if you're seeing each other two three or four days and nights a week together Doing shared activities hobbies mutual interest spending time with family and friends Traveling together teamwork building skills both in your personal and professional life Intimacy both physical and emotional intimacy. So yes, I think it might be a good time If you've spent at least if you've accumulated about 100 hours of face to face time you develop the first layer of trust So thank you so much Crouching tiger says we are we read the dating vows to each other way to go By the way folks in the description below is what's called my dating vows It is a what you would want to consider talking about Before you give your heart away to a man before you give your heart away to a man And if you give your heart through physical sexual experiences, then you may want to read that it's in the description below Thank you so much Pretty writes question How do you think someone can best support a partner who had a family member who died recently? Last night I got together with my best friends my guy friends. We do it about about every twice a month I'll never forget what one of my dear friends said to me. He was in my wedding um I'm not married now my first life um He said You know this was after the funeral and we were just getting together and he said to me Jonathan you and you're you know, my ex-wife her name is Aaron. He says you and Aaron Deborah and I You're in our prayers. He meant his his wife are in our prayers every day And he gave me a big hug And I remember how much that meant to me to hear him say you're in our prayers every day I don't like when people say i'm sorry for your loss. I'm not a big fan of that Because there's nothing to be sorry about per se And I mean certainly what we've experienced, but I love the phrase you're in our prayers. Can I give you a big hug? You're in my prayers. That's what I like anyway. I hope that helps pretty. Thank you so much All right. Do we have any other questions? Here we go Uh, looks like we have a bashful group Uh, let's see what else we have. Let's go swim in Let's go swim in. Let's go swim in But the broadcast in doesn't look like it um, all right Looks like that was the last question. Oh pretty says. Thank you. You're very welcome. Hope that helps folks Um, has this content been sinking in is it resonating with you? Is this helping? Please let me know. Please hit that like button Please share this video with your friends if you're brand new to my channel, please subscribe if I can Hit that bell as well Also, if you need some support and you need some help check out the link to a free discovery call with me The sea of working with a coach is right for you My job is to help you get clarity on who's really the right person for you how to determine compatibility with a person But first you have to understand who's genuinely compatible with you Many of you have adopted the belief that chemistry equals relationship success and as I've described in my relationship iceberg frequently Attraction is above the waterline But below the waterline is shared values blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity These are the more important factors to consider When considering a partner in your life, so Um, we've got time for a few more questions If you have a question write the word question then post the question there after or you can purchase a super sticker Super chat all the monies from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Connor Asley again, that's a picture of him right there Looks like we have a bashful group tonight Or today this morning. I should say All right, I think this would be a great place to wrap up since we don't have any questions coming in folks Thank you so much for allowing me to enter your life today. Oh wait now. We do have questions All right, let's see what we got Uh This will be our last one How can a woman protect her heart from a very charming married man who has no intention of moving on past relationship? Oh, I love this question Laura Disengage folks. Does everyone agree with me? Do not get involved with a married man Don't do it That's on you By the way, how would you feel if he was if if you were his wife, how would you feel? If he was engaging with someone else, how would you feel answer me that question I want to know how you would feel if you were married to someone who was engaging with someone else How would you feel if you were dating someone who you're having regular sex with and they're engaging with someone I know he's not having sex with his wife and I know he's unhappy with his marriage. Let him get divorced And then maybe seek some connection with him all right All right, folks. Thank you so much again for allowing me to enter your lives. I'm going to wrap up this videos I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic jotha marriage of self love I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm going to ask you to turn to someone a pet teddy bear or pillow and give it or them a hug of love There's a teddy bear because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it. We could all use more love in our lives I want to thank pretty and lauren and And natural beauty and live life long and horse lady and crouching tiger hidden rook And christie and pamelin christine and alexandra and julie and sarah and victoria Everyone. Thank you so much. Wishing you a fabulous weekend. Take care. Bye now