 This is why The narcissist had to leave you. I know a lot of you You've been through this Really painful breakup With the narcissist You went through all of these things with them and it's like all of a sudden They just left you Discarded you and they were so cold. It's like you never even existed Like you never meant anything to them and I know what that's like. I know how it feels to go through that But it's not all as it seems Because they pretty much knew from the very beginning That they were going to have to leave you they already knew that and the reason Why is because they saw you as something temporary? They manipulated and deceived you they lied to you they future faked and they knew that there was going to be no future In something that started out as a game so at some point they knew that they had to leave and At some point you began to catch on You began to realize that what they were doing wasn't right you began to see that You were in this one-sided relationship Where you were giving them everything that you had and you were getting nothing back in return so at some point You began to question and confront them you wanted answers and they didn't like it They didn't think that they should have to answer to you and they also Feared that you might reject them They feared that you might expose them so they felt like They've got to beat you to the punch They've got to get you before you get them and yes That is why they had to leave you Not because they didn't want you I mean you have to remember that if a narcissist targets you They did target you for a reason Because they believed that they could benefit by being with you and they typically target the best of the best So it's not that they didn't want to stay with you It's not that at all. It's just that they knew they couldn't You were catching on you were starting to figure them out So they felt like they had no other choice They felt like they had to leave you because as I've said before There's nothing more painful for a narcissist Than being rejected and that includes Being exposed as well. All they really care about is the image and they especially Don't want to feel rejected By people who they admire or look up to So yes It may not be what you thought they leave a lot of times because they're actually very insecure and When you confront them When they fear that you're going to reject them or abandon them and they fear being exposed in all of these cases It will most likely cause a narcissistic injury and they may lash out at you or if they don't And they just leave quietly and they're Typically going to talk about you to other people Behind your back They're going to discredit you They're going to start a smear campaign against you. They will do whatever it takes To bring you down to make you feel regret As though you made the wrong decision, but yes We do need to take responsibility as well Because when they targeted us We were susceptible To their manipulation We decided to give them a chance we thought that They had some potential although Maybe things weren't great in the beginning That it could have gotten better with time and they gave us the illusion of that They made us think that they were gradually getting better and that things were changing But that's all that it is It's just an illusion They never actually cared about us at all. They just knew that that was what you wanted That was what you wanted to see but they could never actually give you that All they could give was the illusion and yes That's what we fell for we believed it We thought it was real as we began to spend more time with them we began to realize That no it wasn't real after all and yes, that is where we need to take some responsibility Recognizing that In the beginning we could have said no There may have been red flags, but we overlooked them and I know it's difficult sometimes when you're being manipulated And they might present it to you as though they're the one they got soulmate They're everything that you've been waiting for and they just seem so on top of things in the beginning As though they know what they're doing as Though they can help you and then with time you begin to realize That this person can't even help themselves They're emotionally unstable They're having all of these blow-ups and temper tantrums and they're just not nice people to be around They only targeted you to get something out of you Not to bring anything to you Because despite what they may have said to you in the beginning that we got to guess that they actually had nothing to give That was all an illusion It wasn't real They were just telling you Whatever they thought you wanted to cure and that's just how it goes with these narcissists They will always disappoint you in the end You're never going to feel satisfied from dealing with them and they're never going to feel satisfied with you They have these insatiable desires that can never be fulfilled. They always want more They always want something else or something better But then even when they get you they just try to mold you into whatever they want you to be You can't be your own separate person You're just an extension of them and after everything A lot of times they just get bored. They're off looking for the next shiny new toy The next bigger better deal and yet we look at ourselves and Think that something is wrong with us. But yes, as I said when they do leave that is Not so much the time for us To look at them and try to blame them because we can't change the outer world We can't Control what other people do But what we can do is Self-reflect and look within ourselves and realize That we could have made a different decision We could have chosen to not get involved with them in the first place so In many ways. Yes, it is important to look at that as well So that it doesn't happen to us again Because many of us. Yes, we do go from one narcissist to the next And it's easy to keep blaming people but at some point We do need to look at ourselves We do need to realize what got us caught up in this in the first place and See that if we had made different changes or adjustments Then maybe the narcissist never would have noticed us because something about you stood out They picked you out of the crowd. There was certain Quality certain characteristic traits and Yeah, it drew them to you and of course that is why when you begin to become wiser and More aware of what you're dealing with Then they want nothing to do with you When they know that they can't manipulate you and when they leave If you pick yourself back up You recover and You re-establish your identity Your sense of self you practice self-love And you become self-love abundant when you do that You're not even going to desire to want to be around them You're not even going to want them back and in fact you're going to desire someone who Is more like who you've become someone who also loves and appreciates themselves and that doesn't mean that People haven't told them something different that doesn't mean that they will have Lots of friends or a support network It may actually mean that they could be Alone and they're not involved with anyone just as you're not After dealing with the narcissist because unfortunately, yes Or fortunately for some but typically that is how it goes Once people have been involved with narcissists Even if it was just a parent They do tend to just want to be alone. They desire peace More than anything else. But as we know Narcissists they are not looking for peace That's never what they're looking for and they just move on and try to find another source of supply Someone else that they can trick and manipulate But they're never going to be happy because that happiness comes from within and that Is something that they will never Get to experience But you can You can move on and heal and you can find someone who also desires the same things as you someone who also desires peace and when you find that It will feel amazing and then you will realize Why it never worked with the narcissist You will realize why it never worked with them But even when that happens You need to stay low because a lot of them will try to come back They will try to target you again But it's never to bring anything to you. It's always to take something away So Yes, I'd like to finish this message tonight By saying that You do need to protect yourself Be very cautious about who you are dealing with because a lot of people out there are narcissist takers people who are only looking to destroy and a Lot of good people out there empaths People who only want to give and share their love As many of you already know The reality is that those people are typically already victims of a spear campaign or They may have been from a dysfunctional family And they managed to get away But either way Those are just two reasons Why it can be very difficult To find people who are just like us and instead Those may also be the reasons why we tend to run into the arms of another narcissist So yes, it's important to be aware of that And that's the message for today I hope it was helpful If it was you can give it a thumbs up down below and as always I will talk to you in another one very soon