 The Anderson family. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, meet the Anderson family. There's Papa Oliver Anderson who doesn't believe in the adage, be sure you're right, then go ahead. He just goes ahead anyhow. Then Mary Anderson, his lovely wife, who thinks everything happens for the best. And she's the best. And let's not forget Junior, 12 years old and the spark plug of the Anderson's daily life. They're a happy family, although Oliver is somewhat confused with life. He takes a mental beating from the boss all day, and then he comes home to his little family where he is king. Well, almost king. There is no place for morbidity in their lives, and their happy outlook is a tonic for everyone. I don't mind your father coming at all, Mary. It's just the fact that he's so hard to get back on the bus. That's no way to talk about father. After all, he likes you. I know, but does he have to travel 2,000 miles every year to prove it? You want me to tell him not to come and hurt his feelings? He'll feel terrible, Oliver. He won't. What about me, Mary? Uh-oh. Here we go again, folks. This whole thing started when the Anderson's learned that Mary's father was on his way to see them for the second time this year. Oliver likes the old gentleman, but would like some kind of a contract holding the father to a certain date for his departure. Mary, of course, is anxious to see her father, while Junior is rather noncommittal. Right now, they're on their way out to the junction in the highways, where Mary's father will meet them and follow them into town. You act like this visit is all my fault, Oliver. I do not. You shouldn't have written and told him I was going to be elected county supervisor. I haven't won yet. I didn't tell him you were going to make more money or anything like that, darling. That's good. Otherwise, he'd have flown out. I wonder which road he'll come in on. That one on the left, I suppose, is all downhill. Oliver is getting dark. I hope we don't miss him. We won't. We can hear him. But will we know his car? Yeah, it'll probably be the one without the mattress on top. Oliver, I wish you'd cooperate with me. Dad's such a nice guy. You know how hurt he gets when he thinks he's intruding. I am cooperating, Mary. I like him, too. But he keeps buying Junior ice cream and candy, and then he won't eat his meals. It's just because he loves Junior. Of course it is. I'm not saying that. Junior's crazy about him, too. Of course he is. I know that. We're all crazy about each other. But, Mary, I'm going to try to win that election, and your dad will want to hang around with me. Well, darling, just tell him how important it is. Are you kidding me? Tell him anything? Don't be ridiculous. His feelings are always being hurt. Well, remember, he's not a very young man anymore. He's not young, and that's what I've been trying to tell you. He'll stay home and rest. But he gets so tired of staying around home, Oliver. Well, he could go to work. You know very well, Father, isn't well enough to work. I didn't say he was. But I know that a trip like he's taking would put an athlete to bed for a week. Look, darling, promise me you'll be kind to him. After all, he won't stay with us very long. I'll be especially nice the first day or two. He'll probably be all in. Now you're acting like your old self. You and Dad always had a lot in common. The only thing we have in common is you. Isn't that enough? Do you think we should go on out the road further? Well, the only way he could miss us is by coming in through that cornfield. Listen. That's more like it. Get out the red flag. This sounds like him. Who it is, Oliver? It's Dad. Dad! Oh, Dad! Hey, take it easy. You'll go on in on the rims there. Well, Mary, here I am. Does he think we doubted? Oliver, now please. Back up, Dad! Yeah, but watch out! Shovel it up. Just misjudged it, Saul. Come on, Dad. Get out. Here, I'll help you. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Don't break that rope. I'll just climb over the door. What, Dad? What happened to your running board? Oh, that. Well, sir, I'll tell you. I left the running board back in Amarilla. A bridge got a little close to me. The bridge got a little close to you? Yeah, in this darn door. Well, you know a fella was back in a hay wagon out of the garage. You should have seen his way in. Yes, just so you weren't hurt. Come now, Dad. Just follow us on in now. We'll get home and you take a nice, warm bath and get into bed. Me in bed? Listen, Mary, tonight's young. And I got a lot to talk about. Sir, you aren't tired? Me tired. Listen, it takes more than a trip like that to bother me. Now, don't you get too worried about me. I'm all right. Well, then you come on, follow us in. I'll be all right. I'll be right on your tail light all the way. Okay, Dad. He'll be in our front seat, too, if we stop suddenly. I don't think he has any more breaks than he has judgment. Dinner will be ready in just a moment, Dad. Oh, no hurry, Mary. I stopped back down the road away and had five hamburgers. Five of them? I'll show you the model plane I just made, Grandpa. Oh, by yourself, huh? Well, I'll help you make one. It'll make the kid's eyes pop right up. You will? Gee, how long it'll take? Yeah, there's no need starting it and then leaving before it's finished. Oh, I'll stay till we finish it. Oh. Dinner's ready. Come on, Dad. You're gonna sit by me, aren't you, Grandpa? Well, I don't know any place you'd rather sit. You sit right here, Dad. Junior, you sit on that side. Oliver, you take the head there. That's pretty far from the food. Pop's always making mom and me laugh. Yes. Hey, what's this Mary Righteous about you running for some political thing, Oliver? Well, yes, I stand a fair chance of becoming county supervisor. What's the matter with the fellow they got now? Well, some people don't think he's too honest. Well, then I say get him out. Impeach him. Throw him out. Father of the gravy. Oh, I'm sorry, Mary. Will you get me a towel, Mary? Oh, Oliver, your new suit. That's all right. Just an accident. Must have lost my temper. I promised Ma would not do that to me. Oh, Pop doesn't care, Grandpa. He's got another suit. Shall I go get it, Dad? No, bring me my raincoat. Now, Oliver, stop clouding and let's eat. Had some meat, Dad? Meat? Oh, yes, Mary. Thanks. Beef. Some potatoes, Grandpa. I'll have some bread. Bread, Dad? See, I can't keep up with you, Mary. Yeah, scatter it around a bit. So this fellow's a crook, eh, Oliver? Yeah, we just... Don't use that term, Dad. Well, this is to me. If he's crooked, I'll help you all. I can to get in. Uh, Oliver's doing well with it, Dad. Heather needs all the help he can get. Slide him carrots over here with you, Sonny. Carrots? Oh, yes, carrots, Pop. Carrots? Oh, yeah, sure. And that Benson has a pretty good machine behind him, and I have to go easy. Then get him out. I'll say, beat him at the poles. Down with the machine! Junior the plate! Got it, Pop! Look, Dad, everything's gonna be all right. Oliver has his committees, and they'll see that the election is run on a fair basis. See, it ain't like me to lose my temper that way. But, uh, gun it, Oliver. I always play the game to win. Well, of course, I expect to win. Oh, excuse me. You folks go ahead and eat. I'll see who it is. Oh, Homer, what is it? Uh, can it come in a minute? Well, I guess so. Uh, I got bad news, Oliver. Bad news? Yep. This Benson fella who's running again here is around asking people about you, trying to get something on you. But I let on like I didn't know a thing. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. You let on? What do you know about me? What's the trouble here, Oliver? This fella here bothering you? You're bothering me? Oh, no, Dad. Dad, you remember Homer Meister? You met him when you were here living here before. Oh, oh, of course! How's your wife, Meble? Her name's Martha, and she's feeling right good. Well, I'm glad to hear it. You're looking good, too. Uh, Dad, Homer wanted to tell me something. Oh, well, great, great. Come on in. Mary, put on another plate, will you? Harry's here. Look, Homer lives just next door. He eats at home. Oh, cancel it, Mary. He ain't eating. Now, uh, what's on your mind, Henry? Uh, it's Homer. Why don't you finish your dinner, Dad? I'll join you in a minute. Oh, hello, Homer. Anything wrong? Well, not yet. Not yet? How do you mean? Well, this Bensonfeller is sending stooges around to get something on Oliver. And I just wanted to warn him. They're a dirty bunch, Mary. Of course they are. Oliver, you're too easy. Now, now, wait a minute. Maybe Homer and I should go out in the garage and talk this over. Uh, Dad, maybe we'd better finish our dinner. Not me. I'm in this fight to the finish. You are? Or you don't have anything to do with it? Well, I just thought you'd like to know, Oliver. Well, I am, and thanks, Homer. We'll have trouble finding anything wrong with my life. And when he does, he'll have to prove it. Well, I just thought I'd tip you off. Uh, right glad you did, too, Henry. It's Homer. And, uh, come on over later, will ya? We'll have a little game of yoker, eh? Not tonight, Dad. Homer has to spend some time with Martha. Yeah, Martha's a good woman. Uh, yeah. And you'll be here for a couple of days yet, Dad. A couple of days? I'll be here longer than that. Tell Martha I said hello, Homer. Yeah, probably. Well, it's a long, Homer. Good night. Night. Let's finish our dinner. The varmints trying to get something on you, Oliver. Oh, you know how they do. It's just worry is all. Gee, sounds like election night already. We'll show them what we junior. Uh, passing beans down here this way, do ya? Here, let me have them first. Never reach across the table, Junior. How about some more potatoes, Dad? Nope. Guess I lost my appetite, Mary. Oh, damn varmints. Get me so mad. Trying to get crooked, eh? Now, Dad. We'll show them. Junior, the plate! Got it! Oh, hi, Dad. I won't be ready to leave home for a while. Sit down. Thanks. I'm sure it's hard out. I've been to standing down in that meat market, arguing with that butcher in there. Oh, you mean Schultz? Oh, whoever he is, he sure ain't for you. I know. He's pulling for Benson. Benson buys his meat there. I told him about your platform, and he just laughed at me. You told him? Old, short-weight Schultz? Why? Why, why, you ain't ashamed of it, are ya? Well, why did you do that? We were saving that for a surprise. It was! Well, dog gone in, I shouldn't be out, I guess. Look, you take the bus at the corner, and don't get off until you get home, will ya? Well, there ain't any need of getting upset now, Oliver. I got an idea from talking to that fella. Look, look, Dad, forget the election, forget everything. Just let me handle the campaign. This Benson fella's a fast worker. Schultz tells me. Yeah, of course he is, and he'll have stuff out on me a half hour after it gets to him. That's what I wanted to know. You can't be a man like that, honestly. But I think I can bring him down. Look, will you forget it? Not me. I'm a fighter, son. And no son in all mine's gonna take a drum and roll. I can help it. But I don't need your help, Dad. I need what Schultz said. You're gonna need a trick or two, and I'm just the boy who knows him. Don't you worry none about me. I'll be home when you get there. Now, wait a minute, Dad. Wait! Oh, hello, Mrs. Thompson. Let's eliminate the niceties, Mr. Anderson, and get down to facts. That man who left your office a few minutes ago. Yes? It seems to me you're conducting your campaign for county supervisor like a schoolboy. Me? Why? Who was that man who left here a few moments ago? That was my father-in-law. Your father-in-law? Well, haven't you enough trouble on your hands without adding more? Oh, he's a nice fellow. Mary's father, you know. What have you done to make him mad? I mean, I haven't done anything. I just told him to get on a bus and don't talk to anyone. You did, eh? Well, I just came by Benson's headquarters, and your father-in-law was sitting in there chummy as anything you've ever seen with Benson. Now back to the Anderson family. Oliver is, as you know, running for county supervisor and is up against a tough political setup. However, this didn't seem to stop Oliver's father-in-law from dropping into the opposition's headquarters after Oliver had told him to go home and talk to no one. The father-in-law is still talking to Benson, the opposing candidate. Yep, I've been in a few campaigns myself in my younger days. Oh, is that so? I knew from your attitude that you had been successful in politics before. Me and Oliver Anderson's father-in-law don't make any difference to me. He's honest, and you're honest. That's what I call good fellowship. By the way, I understand Oliver had a little trouble a few years back. There's no truth in that, is there? Well, no. Oliver's a good boy. He doesn't even know I spent four years in Leavenworth. He doesn't know you... What? Four years in Leavenworth? Of course I wouldn't want that to get around now. It wouldn't be sporting of you to mention it. Me? Mention it? Why? That's ridiculous. We want a good, clean campaign. Four years, you say. That's right, but keep it under your hat now. Oh, of course. Your secret is safe with me. Oh, I didn't notice the time. I really have to leave now. But thanks for coming in. We need honest men like you and Anderson. Yep, I knew you was the right nice fellow when the first saw you. Well, good day, sir. Yes, sir. Oh, this is wonderful. Oh, Anderson, you're a dead duck. Hello, Harry. Listen to this. Anderson's father-in-law was just in here. Get this. He served a four-year sentence in Leavenworth. Yes, in Leavenworth. He told me so himself. I guess he doesn't think so much of his son-in-law himself. So get that right in the speech I'm making at the community club tonight. And we'll blast him wide open. Don't ask me. I'm not holding a leash on him. But he was coming home with you. He promised me he would. He's been in town one day, and he's talked to everyone he's met. But the topper is. He was seen going into Benson's headquarters by Mrs. Thompson. Oh, you know how father is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what's worrying me. You know, he talks too much and too loud, and it isn't particularly careful. He is what he says. But father's no simpleton. You're biased, being his daughter. Not any man who could snake the last piece of meat out from an under my fork and then laugh at all. Oh, but, Oliver, what could he possibly say that would hurt you? I don't know. Well, then there's nothing to worry about. Look, anytime he's loose and has car fur, there's plenty to worry about. I'll go see if I can find him. Yes, I wish you would. Well, maybe this saves me a trip, but don't expect me to fall all over him. Just calm down, Senator. It's Homer. Oliver, home? Yes, come on in. Oh, I can't stay but a minute. But I want Oliver to hear the good news. Do you mind if I get back to her mother? Nope, nope. But I'm going to be doing some cement work for the county pretty soon. A kind of political pool. I don't get it. See these handbills? Why, Homer, what are these? Oh, I see. A fine thing. A trader, huh? Delivering handbills for Benson for county supervisor. I ain't no trader. He's a right nice fellow. And he said if I swung this neighborhood to him, he'd see I'd love to cement work from the county. Oh, that isn't honest, Homer. In politics, we don't stand around and quibble over whether there are things honest or not. Cement work has to be done. I'm a party man, ain't I? Maybe I could have swung a little cement work for you. If your price for the job was the low bid. Well, of course, you're a nude politics. And like you always say, you have to stick with the winner. Well, Benson hasn't won yet, Homer. It's in the bag, Mary. Gosh, you know what? I'd give anything to help Oliver win. I can see that. You're so anxious to see me win. Can you pass out handbills for Benson? Well, I'm a substantive. I can vote for who I want, can't I? And if you'd asked me to pass out handbills for you, I'd have done it. But Benson knows the influence I have in the neighborhood. Influence? You can't even get a pound of hamburger on credit at Schultz's butcher shop. No, I can't, can't I? Look, let's stop this silly bickering. It isn't silly. My own neighbor, Homer Meister. Well, tell you what I'll do, Oliver. I'm a fair man. And I'll pass handbills for you tomorrow. I don't have any handbills. But Homer offered Oliver. Yeah, he thinks I might win. I sure hope you do, Oliver. But gosh, this Benson fellow's experienced. Knows what to say. And the people go for him. Yeah. Why don't you walk around the neighborhood this evening and tell him what a swell fellow I am? Sure do it, Oliver. Except to have to be at the Benson's for counter-supervisor meeting. I got a big blue bag to wear. Oh, there's going to be something big poppin' tonight. Something big? Uh, what? I don't know. But there's sure excited about it down headquarters. Well, I'll run along. Remember, I don't want no hard feelings. Oh, of course not, Homer. Remember, Benson isn't in yet. It's in the bag, Oliver. Oh, it's Mrs. Thompson. Won't you come in? I had Philbert drive me by, Anderson. He's so hurt he won't even come in. Was this hurt? What's wrong? We just came from the election talk of your opponent, Benson. And I'm giving you a chance to deny it. Deny what? Your father-in-law served a term in Leavenworth. He did? Where did I call Mary? She never told me. Oh, no. Don't call her. Mr. Benson told the audience that your father-in-law admitted to him that he'd served the term. Well, that's the first I knew about it. How did Benson find out? I understand your relative told him himself. Oh, no. But I could have told you about him. I am never fooled by goth-nickers and French berets on elderly gentlemen. In many ways, I felt he was concealing something. Oh, now surely you don't believe it, Mrs. Thompson. Facts are indisputable, Anderson. And now I must go. My heart goes out to poor Philbert. He trusted you so. I'll go talk to the boss. No, I think he'll talk to you tomorrow. Good night. Wait a minute. It must be a mistake. If it is, you've made it, Anderson. Hmm. So the old gentleman spent a term, eh? Hmm. Mary! Mary! Just a minute. Come on and hurry up. What's wrong now? Your father. Oh, no, no. What's happened to him? Nothing until he gets home. Why didn't you tell me he served four years in Leavenworth? Father in Leavenworth? I wish you'd have told me. But Oliver, there's a mistake. I know. And he's it, Mary. He even told the Benson crowd about it. What makes him tick anyhow? Now, Oliver, there's something wrong here somewhere. Well, my father would never do a wrong thing in his life. Is this right? Did he have to come here to make his first mistake? Hi, Mom. Hi, Pop. Oh, home so soon, Junior? Yeah. Oh, what's wrong? Oh, Mr. Chapman told me I'd better run on home. If I wanted to know the reason, ask Pop. Ask me? Oh, wait a minute. Did Chapman attend the rally tonight, the Benson rally? Yeah. And he told me to tell you that if you have anything over here that belongs to him, get it back there. Oliver, you mean people actually think Dad was in prison? Well, it's simply not true. You mean Grandpa was in prison, Mom? No, of course not, dear. Oh, where is Dad? Oliver, go look for him, please. What, and find him? Not me. And Grandpa, we seem so nice, too. Junior, don't talk like that. It's not true. Oh, listen, there's Dad now. Yeah, the playboy of gravel pit junction. At least we know he's home. Oh, well, well, Mary. My goodness, you look as though something's happened. I'm afraid it has, Dad. Now, I can explain everything, Mary. Just give me time. Could you spare a minute? I figured you'd kind of be worried about me. I've been worried about what you were doing. Mrs. Thompson said you'd been in to see my opposition. Yeah, it was. I wanted to get a slant on that phony politician. And I did. Mrs. Thompson felt that you heard all of his chances by doing that. Well, of course women don't understand how them things is done. I don't either. All I know is that even Homer Meister figures I'm going to finish second. Well, now Henry Meister don't know what he's talking about. Homer. But, Dad, do you mind telling us just what happened? Well, it's kind of long, Mary. I was afraid it would. Oliver, please. Well, you see, I sized this Benson fella up to be a fast doer and a man who'd give me action. And, uh, it wasn't wrong. Look, I could give you an argument on that. No, sir, I wasn't wrong. I knew as soon as I told him I'd been in Leavenworth for four years. You told him that? Then it's true. Oh, Dad, how could you say such thing? Of course it's true, Mary. Yep, I admit it. Why didn't you postpone your visit until after election? If I had, Oliver, you wouldn't have won. Well, it's a well-known fact by now that a man with a father-in-law who spent time in Leavenworth isn't going to win. And maybe not even have a job. Well, you just leave that to me, Oliver. You see, the reason I was late in getting home was I, uh, I had to turn the rally to be sure Benson told folks I was a convict. But, Dad, you're... Well, you're not a convict. That's what Benson knows now. Look, look, look, look. This double talk. You should be running for office. You think it's all right, Dad, for Benson to tell the audience that you were a convict? Yep. Uh, I was in hopes he would. Right now, you see, I have a lawyer working for you. Now, wait a minute. This has gone far enough. Right this minute, you will pay for your own lawyer. Remember that. If it works out the way I expect... Oh, who's this? Bear, 10 to 1, it's my lawyer. Or Benson. Yes? Oh, it's Mr. Benson. Oh, Mrs. Anderson, I come on a peaceful mission. Well, come in. I want to speak to Oliver. I want to be the first to congratulate him. Right in here. First to what? Oliver Anderson, the next county supervisor. Let me be the first to shake your hand. What have you got in your hand, a bomb? Oh, come now. Let bygones be bygones. Let us work together for a finer county. I don't get it. I have withdrawn my name from the ticket, which leaves you the only remaining candidate. Why, Mr. Benson, what on earth could... Oh, you're a pretty clever Anderson. Yes, I underestimated you. I'll admit that. You're the better man, and I wish you luck. You're not prosecute. Well, of course not. I'll not... Oh, thanks. Thanks for acting like nothing happened. I'll be able to do you a lot of good as you go along, but now I want you to celebrate your victory and I'll bow out. Before you go, would you explain this and Oliver, quit twisting your tie. You're getting purple. Huh? And as for you, you old goat! Old goat? That's me, Mary. Now look here, Benson. You can't talk that way to my father-in-law. One more crack like that and... Oh, I'm sorry. And I hope you'll accept my apology. The old goat! Such nerve! Let it go. He's pretty upset. Well, I could do for a spot of lunch, Mary. And maybe a coffee, too. You know, having to attend his rally was pretty tiring on an old man. Look, wait a minute. First you're in Leavenworth. The opposition uses that to oust me. Then in comes Benson saying, I'm the new county supervisor and he goes out calling you an old goat. Wait, Oliver. Let's sit down and have a bite to eat. Dad can tell you about it as we eat. I can't stand people talking with their mouths full. Well, here's how it happened, you see. Well, gee, Grandpa. You got home. Yep, I did, I did. Sit down right here beside me, Junior. Well, but I'm not hungry. Don't worry. You won't get anything to eat anyway. Oh, the bread, Oliver. Oliver? Huh? Dad wants the bread. Oh, here. Ah, thanks. Now, if everyone will be quiet, let's clear this thing up. Well, well, I told this bitch and told him, I said, I've been in Leavenworth for four years. And it's true. I knew Benson would grab at that like a conductor reason for an extra fare. Didn't you realize that would hurt Oliver? No, wouldn't hurt him a bit. Sheep was true. Sheep, Grandpa. And you always seem so nice, too. But what I didn't tell him was, I was in Leavenworth as a guard before I met Mary's mother. Gee, Grandpa, why did you carry a gun and wear a uniform? Oh, Dad. And Benson misunderstood and started a sandbag. Oh. Just, just, all he hoped he would. You see, after he said those things at the rally, my lawyer asked him to prove it, or be sued for slander. And, well, that's all there is to it. Unlike you to push the butter down this way, if you will, Junior. Sure. And here all this time, we didn't know. I didn't know. But I worry just as much as if I did. I know trick or two myself. With Oliver in here, we'll have honest government. We'll throw out of office people like Benson. From now on, we're free of crooked punishment. Junior, the plate! Dad, Dad! The Anderson family is written by Howard Swart, directed by Herb Lytton, and features Dick Lane as Oliver, Louise Arthur as Mary, Walter Tetley as Junior, and Herbert Rawlinson as Homer. Others in the cast were Paul Theodore, Doug Young, and Jackie DeWitt. Music by Gordon Kibbe, sound effects by Ray Erlenborn. Your announcer is Ken Peters. The Anderson family is a Hollywood broadcaster's production, transcribed from Hollywood.