 Hi, I'm Rusty Komori and this is Beyond the Lines. We broadcast live on Mondays from the beautiful Think Tech Hawaii TV studio in the Pioneer Plaza in downtown Honolulu. This show is based on my book which is also titled Beyond the Lines and it's about creating a superior culture of excellence, leadership, achieving greater success and sustaining that greater success and finding greatness. Today's special guest is Juliette Leiter. She is a former Miss Hawaii USA, a survivor of domestic violence and founder of the Women Speaking Out Hawaii organization which strives to implement strategic preventative initiatives for young women in middle school through college. And today we are going beyond domestic violence. Juliette. Hello. Thank you for being here Juliette. Thank you so much for having me, I'm so excited to be here. I'm excited to have you. You know I'm a big fan of yours, right? Thank you. Thank you. You like the book and the TV shows? Absolutely. You do such a great job. I knew I needed to live up to this certain standard today but thank you for having me. Well, I'm excited to have you here and I want to know Juliette, your history. Can you share your background with me? Of course. Only child, I was raised by a single parent, which was my dad, one of the most amazing men I know. I grew up in Pearl City but also in Kaneohe so I'd spent a lot of time in Pearl City with my grandparents, ended up graduating from Pearl City High School and was involved in multiple activities. I was always one of those kids that I needed to be involved so senior class president and different clubs. But it was a great childhood but single child, only child. So did you do any other activities in high school besides being senior class president? I was involved in a lot of the community clubs. I did some cheerleading here and there, Pop Warner and then once I got to high school I wanted to do track and just didn't work out. I was, you know, I'm an Aquarius, I'm all about saving the world so I thought, okay, getting involved in student government is probably my best way to go and that was kind of my thing in high school was being involved in all the different activities. I like it. What college did you go to? Yes, so I got my undergraduate and public relations from Hawaii Pacific University and I was able to go back through a scholarship and get my masters in communications. Great. And then what was your first job that you've ever had? Oh, that's such a funny story. So going way back, my first job was in retail at Tonning Country in Wynward Mall. I grew up surfing. My dad's an avid surfer, an amazing surfer. So it only made sense for me to work at a surf shop so I can get a discount and surf boards and bathing suits and different things. So it was my first job. Very grateful for that job. Perfect. Now, you are a former Miss Hawaii USA and I want to know, Juliet, why did you enter that pageant? You know what I say, that's funny. When I decided to run in the pageant, my dad asked me the same question. Why are you running in a pageant? Again, growing up as a tomboy. I really, it was an opportunity for me to get scholarship, again, being raised by a single parent. You know, Hawaii is very expensive and I wanted to ease that stress on my dad, so I decided to run for Miss Hawaii USA. Now, did you enter any other pageants before winning Miss Hawaii USA? I did. So I entered the Miss Hawaii America system and in fact, that was a year that one of my dear friends, Angela Barocchio became Miss America. And it's such a great system. It teaches you a lot of life skills. I learned how to interview. What I realized was talent is not my thing. That year I sang. I'm not a singer and Angela and all the girls that I competed with back then, we joke about it, but it really led me to the opportunity of running in Miss Hawaii USA the next year and winning. So, not a singer, but I tried it. So what did you learn about yourself through the pageants? First thing I learned is I can't walk in heels. And I was really shy to be in a bikini in front of a large group of people. But you know, looking on the bright side, what it taught me is that I can do anything. If I set a goal for myself and I work hard and I consistently put in the time that anything is possible. And now you're a coach of many of the pageant girls and you work closely with one of your best friends, Amber Stone. Can you tell me about the relationship that you two have together? Oh, absolutely. She's really one of the most dynamic, phenomenal, intelligent, charismatic women that I know. And she had approached me two years ago. She was going to be running a prelim for Miss Hawaii USA and was like, I want to do this great opportunity and I want to do it with you. You've had a very successful track record, being able to be a part of the coaching team when Chelsea Hardin won Miss Hawaii USA and was first runner-up at Miss USA. And it just seemed like a perfect fit, though we see, we share a lot of the same ideas and perspectives. We're also very different and that's what makes us work. We always say we balance each other out. Seems like between both of you, you cover the full spectrum of what anybody would need. Oh, absolutely. And before Tay and she knows this, I really love working with the girls on stage, stage presence and walking and the on-stage question. And she's amazing at getting the girls ready for interview and really diving into their bios. And we also have an amazing team that supports us for our preliminary pageant and other coaches that we bring in that we absolutely love and admire. So we've been very successful and I'm super grateful for that. Now you, Juliet, you've been a coach for the current Miss Hawaii USA Julie Chu and last year's Miss Hawaii USA 2017 Julie Kuo. And like you mentioned earlier, you were a part of the team with Chelsea Hardin who became first runner-up at the Miss USA. What do you focus on in your coaching of these girls? I think for me, because I'm a very hard person, initially I'd like to meet up with the girls before I start coaching them and sit down and have a conversation, see what their goals are, their aspirations and really why are they running in this pageant. As a former Miss Hawaii USA, it's really a legacy. So I take pride in being a Miss Hawaii USA. Once you're Miss Hawaii USA, you're always a Miss Hawaii USA. And what I'd like to do is bring out the best in them. We all have our weaknesses and we have our strengths. So for me, it's about building their strengths as well as building their weaknesses and helping to see that anything is possible. A lot of these girls, Chelsea, Hardin, Julie Kuo, they never ran in a pageant, never modeled. So for them, just seeing them transform and going from this young woman and then becoming Miss Hawaii USA is such a huge gift for me. And I'm grateful I was able to be a part of that process. Yeah. And so obviously there are certain challenges that these girls have and they want that they need your help with. What are some of the challenges, some of the common ones that you deal with in helping them? I think the biggest challenge is self-esteem and having that love and really realizing that they're capable of being up on stage in front of hundreds, sometimes thousands of people. And also the interview process, what's really nice about pageants and a lot of people don't know is it really teaches girls about themselves. It allows them to go through this journey of self growth and really realize what they want. Why are they running in this pageant? How are they going to impact their community? And I think that is such a great thing. I think every woman or young girl should run in a pageant because it just teaches you a lot of life skills. It's not about winning the crown. I always tell the girls the most important thing is the journey to the crown and what you learn and what you take away from it. I like that. It's all about character development. Absolutely. Building their mindset, their self-esteem, like you mentioned. Now, you have great style. I've known you for many years. You always dress nice. I mean, you have great fashion sense. How did you get involved in fashion? You're really giving me too much credit, Este. Thank you. I wouldn't consider myself a fashionista, but being a part of pageantry and running in this way, USA, and having the opportunity to model some things, I think you're just kind of thrown into this fashion world, whether you like it or not. And now with social media, I like to follow all the latest trends, what different celebrities are doing, and also being a coach. These young girls really helped me to keep my style on point. So that's how I'm able to stay up on the latest fashion trends. Well, just know that I know that whenever I see you, you always have some great style and great, I mean, your hats and all kinds of different looks. I appreciate that. And that's funny you bring that up, is that's what everyone knows me for is I love to wear hats. It can be any time, it can be any season, any type of weather. I love to wear my hats. Now, Juliet, let's shift from fashion to you being a Hawaiian Airlines flight attendant. Now, you guys have your uniforms that you have to wear. Yet, you still have the Juliet style for some reason when I see pictures of you being a flight attendant. What is the best parts of being a flight attendant? The best part about being a flight attendant is being able to travel the world, have new experiences, meet so many different people from different cultures and different backgrounds, and at the same time getting paid for it. I think you grew up in Hawaii and Hawaiian Airlines. They've created this legacy for themselves. It's such a great company to work for. They really take care of their employees. And I'm grateful because it's such a strenuous process to get in. And I'm proud to say I was able to get through the training. And flight attendants are not just about looking great and giving juice and water in the sky. We're really, we're there for your safety. We're there just to make sure that you have a great experience. And Hawaiian Airlines does such a good job of creating this culture for people to travel on and really just teaching people about Hawaii. And I'm sure that your dad appreciates you being a flight attendant. Oh, absolutely. I mean, that was one of the perks. You know, I told my dad, if I get in dad, I'm gonna take you everywhere. I haven't taken him too many places yet, but that's on the bucket list to start traveling more with my dad. Great. Well, let's turn to a very serious topic, domestic violence. You are a survivor of domestic violence. Can you share your experience with me? Yes. You know, that was a very dark time in my life. And my first abusive relationship happened when I was in high school and it was very aggressive. It was very violent, physically, emotionally, mentally. My ex-boyfriend that I had been with pretty much all throughout high school had put me into the hospital. Had injured me pretty badly. It took months of physical recovery. What kind of injuries did you have? Let's just say I was kicked, I was punched, I was shoved, I was burned, I was pushed, I was choked. I mean, everything that you can think of, I went through that. And it was such a nightmare. You know, I was only, I was 16 and I was with him for a couple of years. And to be able to go through that at such a young age, at that time, I thought it was love. I was in a relationship with someone who loved me and this is the way love is supposed to be. To be jealous, to be, to kind of shelter you from everybody else because this person wants to be with you, but it was, you know, again, a very, very violent relationship. Were you able to have a restraining order or take him to court or anything like that? I was. So throughout that process, I believe I had three different restraining orders and after the last altercation where he had beaten me so bad and I was put in the hospital, we had taken him to court. He was found not guilty. What? Found not guilty and he really walked away without any jail time, without being responsible for any doctor fees. And, you know, I looked back and I was 18, 19 and it was one of the hardest times of my life. I really lost who I was. I lost my identity. I really lost my self-worth. And I went through again a dark time that I, you know, I became suicidal. I just really gave up on life. I felt destroyed. I felt embarrassed. I felt like I was ashamed and I hid it for a long time from friends and family, but after, you know, when you're in abusive relationship, you start to see the physical scars and, you know, it just kind of takes a toll on you whether you want it to or not. And, but I'm happy that, and I say this and when I do different talks now as a survivor, I say that I'm happy to have gone through that because where I'm at in my life, I'm able to be a voice for survivors. I'm able to be a face for survivors, to let them know that there's always a way out. Even when you think that you're at your worst, there's always a way out. Well, so you were, I mean, just down to nothing. I mean, suicidal and... Nothing. And I haven't shared this much with people, but I tried taking my life and I ended up in a hospital and I needed to get help and I needed to go through this recovery and really this self-discovery as well. Not only recovering physically, but just this self-discovery to find out who I am, where do I want to go? And, you know, I was able, I started going back to church. I'm a Christian. I had a really great support system. My dad is, has always been my rock and will always be my rock. I had really great friends. I had some great mentors in there that really just kind of steered me into the right direction and helped me get back on the path of being Juliet again. Being the happy, go lucky Juliet that, you know, can conquer anything. And, you know, I look back and I'm so grateful for all these people because without them, I wouldn't be here sitting with you today. Well, Juliet, thank you for sharing those things with me and we're gonna take a quick break and then when we come back, we're gonna continue going beyond domestic violence. You are watching Beyond the Lines on Think Tech Hawaii with my special guest, Juliet Leiter. We will be back in 60 seconds. Hello, my name is Stephanie Mock and I'm one of three hosts of Think Tech Hawaii's Hawaii Food and Farmer series. Our other hosts are Matt Johnson and Pomei Weigert and we talk to those who are in the fields and behind the scenes of our local food system. We talk to farmers, chefs, restaurateurs and more to learn more about what goes into sustainable agriculture here in Hawaii. We are on a Thursdays at 4 p.m. and we hope we'll see you next time. For more than 100 years, American Humane Association has been teaching kids to be kind to animals. Those in our homes, on the farms, on the silver screen and wildlife conservation caring for the world's vanishing creatures. But we can't do it alone. Visit kindness100.org to find ways to teach kids how they can make a more caring, compassionate and humane world for all of us. Welcome back to Beyond the Lines on Think Tech Hawaii. My special guest today is Juliette Leiter. She is a former Miss Hawaii USA, a survivor of domestic violence and founder of the Women's Speaking Out Hawaii organization. And today, we are going beyond domestic violence. Juliette, you founded the Women's Speaking Out Hawaii organization. Tell me about it. Yes, so I started Women's Speaking Out Hawaii in 2007 and at that point I just knew I had a heart to serve. I was a survivor of domestic violence and it happened to me at a very young age when I was in high school. And I thought, you know, I want to have a public podium to speak about what I went through and then to be able to mentor and help other young women. And it's kind of gone through a big transformation throughout the years, but yeah, it was just an opportunity for me to give back. When did you start the Women's Speaking Out and what activities do you specifically do? So when we started in 2007, I really didn't have a clear direction. Again, I knew I'm like, okay, I want to help young women. I didn't know what direction I had. So we would do a lot of great events that really encompass fashion, music, art, a lot of different grassroots fundraising. I partnered with different organizations here, the Hawaii State Coalition Against Domestic Violence. They were a really big support of me when I started. And they became mentors for me to figure out what I really wanted to do. And so now what we're focusing on is educating young girls in middle school through college about dating violence. So that means providing them with red flags. If you're in a abusive relationship, this is what to look for. Different workshops on self-esteem, self-love, dreamboarding, makeup and hair. It's really about uplifting their spirits. And we do have a big conference coming up on December 1st, the Hawaii Pacific University. And it's going to be our first. So we're extremely excited and we're going to be hosting young women from Farrington High School. Great, you know, in my book, I talk about that some people see the storms and clouds of a situation, but champions always see the sun peeking through. And that's exactly what you're doing with these young women is you're trying to give them hope. You're trying to build their self-esteem. You're trying to have them focus on the light instead of the storms and clouds of their situations. Now, you have a Speak Love campaign. Can you tell me about this Speak Love campaign? Absolutely, our Speak Love, I kind of started it. I was driving one day and I thought, God, I want something catchy, especially with all this social media going on. And I thought I wanted something easy that people could really relate to. And I came up with Speak Love. And really what that stems from is I look back and I remember being in my multiple abusive relationships. And a lot of the times when you're in a aggressive or a violent relationship, it's a lot of words of hate and anger that's coming in. And I thought, this campaign is not only for women, but it's for men to be able to speak love to one another in our relationships, in our friendships, with our family. And I thought, God, this would be something nice and something that really people can relate to. Now, there's a big event, a Speak Love, Women Speaking Out event coming up in a few weeks. Can you tell me about that? Yes, we are very excited to be having our annual Speak Love Gala at the Oahu Country Club on Sunday, October 28th. And again, this is to raise awareness about dating violence, but also to raise money for our upcoming Uplift Young Women's Conference that we're doing at Hawaii Pacific University on December 1st. And then also for initiatives next year, we'd like to be able to host a workshop every month, bring in different speakers, and open it up to young girls in middle school through college. But at this event, we're gonna have live music by Jeremy Chang, fashion shows by Mauna Ola, Trina Turk, which has been a huge support of Women Speaking Out. We're gonna have wine tasting, a cigar bar, but it's really, it's about bringing people together for a good cause and having a good time and raising money. Yeah, and the title sponsor is Landmark Logistics. So Corey Correa, Seiji Aspengren, Noah Chan. I mean, those guys are huge supporters of very impactful events in the community. I am extremely grateful for Landmark Logistics. And Corey Correa and I go way back. He's really a good friend, more like a brother. And he's always been a big supporter of me as a woman, being a survivor of domestic violence, and really helping to see my passion and to grow Women Speaking Out Hawaii. And he's one of the people that, I mean, I couldn't have done this without him. So I'm very grateful. Yeah, and you know, the Speak Love campaign that's happening, you have such a great support of so many different people. Can you name some of the individuals right now that's helping you with the Speak Love campaign? Yeah, of course, you know, Crystal Ponzi Ponzi. She's a stylist here. She was one of those that really inspired me to do something and to really get Women Speaking Out there on social media. Mark Keramit, he's my president. He doesn't live here, but he's been a huge supporter. Amber Stone, Biana Green, Moriah, who's an amazing makeup artist, Jake, and all the different former Miss Hawaii USA's and models that we've had in our campaign. Jocelyn Baguio, she's official hairstylist for Miss Hawaii USA. I mean, there's been so many different people that have really helped along the way and been a support. And really contributed in different ways, whether it's hair and makeup or photography, you know, Glenn Yosa, Mark. I mean, the list can go on and on. And I feel bad, I'm missing a lot of people, but I'm so unbelievably appreciative of each of these people. Because again, Women Speaking Out wouldn't be as successful as it is and out there in the public if it wasn't for these people. Yeah, well, I'm very excited for that event that's coming up. I'll be there. Very excited to have you. Totally looking forward to it. Now, I want to ask you some questions, Juliet, that directly relate to my book. One of which is, how do you define success? I love this question and being a pageant coach. This is very much a pageant question. And it's something that I drill our girls on. For me, it's always been setting a goal and not just occasionally working on it, but consistently working on it. And it sounds so simple. It's a quote that I read a couple of years ago. And I thought, in order for anything to be successful, you have to work at it every day. And starting my nonprofit in 2007, for any nonprofit, it's always a challenge being able to get funding and keep that momentum going, getting the public involved and setting up all these new initiatives. But there was times that I thought, gosh, why am I doing this? Is it even getting any traction? But I just was steadfast and I continue to say, nope, my heart is to serve these young women. It's to make an impact. It's to make a difference. It's to create awareness. And I think, I always go back to what's my intention and everything I do, what's my intention? And I just going back to that allows me to remember, okay, I'm here for a purpose and to continue to focus on building women speaking out Hawaii. Well, you're definitely making an impact in a positive way, big time. And you're right about consistency. I want to ask you, Juliet, why do you think you're successful in doing all of these things? It comes down to me, it's just having an amazing support system. I can sit here and take all the credit and yes, the ideas, the passion, the heart comes from me. But if I didn't have such an amazing father who's always been my rock and been supportive of me or great friends in my life, you know, just different mentors that have come in and out, going back to when I became Miss Hawaii USA Russell Tanoi, an amazing photographer, a friend, a mentor. He was one of the key people that helped me to get back onto that road of self-discovery and knowing that I can achieve anything. And every year it's like I meet different people that have impacted me in different ways. The girls that I've coached, the Chelsea Hardins, the Julie Cools, the Julie Choo's are just girls that have ran in our preland. These are all young women that have inspired me to continue to motivate me to be the best that I can be. So I would have to say it's all the people that have loved and supported me and been in my life. Yeah, you're right about Russell Tanoi too. You know, he's such a great talented photographer, a very positive person. And you're right about being, you're in a win-win situation where these young women can learn from you, but it seems like you're learning a lot from them as well. Oh, they teach me so much. They challenge me and they allow me to remember who I am and why I'm doing this. And for that I'm grateful because they're really taking me on their journey of transformation and success and it's the biggest gift that I could, I mean, it's been such a blessing to be able to work with all these young women. Now Juliet, every successful person has had obstacles along the way. What has been your greatest obstacle in achieving your success and how did you overcome that obstacle? My biggest obstacle was really getting over that first violent and abusive relationship when I was back in high school. Again, it was a dark time that I talked about and I, looking back, if I can get past that, I could do anything. And again, I'm, you know, like I tell everyone when I do speaking engagements, I'm so grateful. I've been in multiple abusive relationships but that has all allowed me to be the woman I am today. It's taught me to be strong. It's taught me to persevere. It's taught me to realize my worth. So for that I'm very grateful. So have you encountered a lot of young women coming, needing help from you? And I mean, through all these years and what is your first response when they come to you for help? My first response is always love and understanding. And I think that's what, being a survivor, you have to come at it with love and understanding because a lot of times people will say, well, why didn't you get out of it? Why don't you leave your abuser? Why, you know, there's a lot of questions and there's more judgment. And so I told myself that if I'm ever in the opportunity or in the place that I can help mentor or just serve women or even men, I'm always gonna come from a place of love and understanding and really hear their stories. Why are they feeling this way? Why are they staying with their abuser and just really get to know them first? And then I can go into giving advice. I'm no expert, but I, you know, again, being a survivor, I can say, I've been there. I understand what you're going through. So I think it always starts with love and understanding. Yeah, I like hearing that. And Juliet, you've accomplished so many things already and you've done so many things already. What do you hope to aspire to achieve in your future? That is a great question, Rusty. I think there's always something on my horizon. I think the biggest thing is gonna be growing women speaking out Hawaii, not just locally, on the outer islands and even maybe having a national campaign, being able to partner with a celebrity or doing something where I can take this Speak Love campaign and impact not just hundreds, but thousands and thousands of people, continuing to mentor young women, get them active, just not even from being in pageants, but get them active and, you know, really having a voice in the community, continuing to travel the world and hopefully getting married. I mean, that's a further goal, but we'll see what God has in store for me. Well, Juliet, you know, I have to say that you're extremely brave, you're super special. You have amazing character. I need to find me a Juliet, you know? And I really appreciate you being on the show today and really going in depth and really sharing some real personal things about your past and really thank you for being here on the show. Thank you. Thank you, Juliet. And thank you for watching Beyond the Lines on Think Tech Hawaii. For more information about my book and my TV shows, check out my website, RustyKamori.com and connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Twitter. I hope that this show and my book inspires you to create your own superior culture of excellence and to find your greatness and help others find theirs. Aloha.