 About a month ago I Hit this like major milestone on YouTube of a million subscribers Which was like cool, and I called my friends and family and was like hey guys, this is awesome And I'm so grateful to my audience and Was trying to plan to do something with you guys to celebrate the next day I Had a stroke that Still feels so weird to say and When I like try to sit with that reality it still feels weird I'm alive, which is super cool. It did affect a Number of different parts of my body Long story short I It happened in jujitsu it was like a super freak accident That apparently I like tore vessels and arteries in my neck I'm not caused a stroke at the back of my skull So it didn't affect like one side of my body like You normally think of when you hear a stroke it affected like Balance and coordination Vision definitely clarity of like thinking Speaking I have a hard time using my hands. It's just like a Bunch of weird stuff like I'll stutter a lot Just a it's a lot of different little things and there's still a risk Until the vessels heal in a couple months that it could reoccur So I am Not allowed to do anything I'm allowed to go for short supervised walks Where I can like I mean I'm talking like five minutes and I'm done Like the world is spinning. This was a really terrifying thing to go through and I Think that that is still Setting in I actually need help. I've made videos in the past being like You know asking for help is hard and like it is right, but now I am at a place where I Can't Exist really without the help of other people And I'm working on like just embracing that and letting people take care of me and love me and like Bring me food and take me outside like a toddler I've got a lot of physical therapy and speech therapy and occupational therapy. This is hard to go through But I know I will Come out the other side. Don't wait Um Strokes are really scary And When I had it, I didn't know what was happening. The people around me had no idea So no one called an ambulance or brought me to the hospital or anything. I just went home I Thought I'm being overdramatic, you know nothing like that was a crazy awful experience And I feel all wrong But I'm I'm probably it's probably just a migraine, you know, maybe it was just a panic attack even though Didn't feel like that. I have this habit of feeling like Maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing all of the time And so I waited and that was a bad thing I waited way longer than I should have if you think something is Happening please Love yourself enough to go to the hospital and not wait on a lighter note a big part of healing from strokes is learning new things and Like I said, like keeping your my hands got impacted and so learning to do things with my hands like helps rebuild those neural pathways So I wanted to show you guys something I made Because as I've been able to like throughout the day I got a little spot over here on the couch that I've set up where I will sit and My friend sent me things to learn to knit because I've never knit before and I've been crocheting a ton Because I never learned to follow patterns. And so I made this Check it out guys. It's like a whole It's a whole sweater or a cardigan and I made it took a very long time, but I'm very proud of it So I've been keeping myself Busy giving me my hands busy at least listening to audiobooks They don't know when I will be back to YouTube or making videos and honestly I don't know what that will look like. There's a lot of question marks about the future I'm really grateful to have survived to this. I am being very diligent To follow all of my doctor's orders to not do anything to not lift anything over like five pounds To be supervised if I'm walking like all of that. I'm very committed to this going through this recovery the best that I can and Focusing my energy on that And with that being said I'm gonna go lay down with my puppy dog Thank you so much for listening. I hope to give you more updates soon. I imagine The easiest place for me to put any kind of update is gonna be the community tab here My patreon page and my Instagram So if you want to follow along any of those That's probably where future Short-term updates will be and hey, who knows? Maybe magically my recovery will accelerate far beyond anyone's wildest dreams And I'll be able to be back in front of a camera and making Content and working soon, but we'll see Thank you again for listening. I love you guys. I'm thinking about you I'm so grateful to be here and I will see you guys in the next video whenever that is Please take care of yourselves Bye guys