 Ah, now this is the life. The life of Riley, you might say. Ah, I do have fun. No, I- I can't lie to you. I'm sorry, friends. I'm going partially insane from being inside my house for the past year, so I need a vacation, naturally enough, and the best way to have a vacation right now is, sadly, in virtual reality. Luckily, there's the game just for that. Vacation simulator. So we're gonna go on a little vacation together, have a bit of a wacky time. I hope you enjoy. Come on, let's go. Pack your bags. Don't actually, don't get excited. I don't want to get your hopes up. Let's just- let's just cut to the next scene, actually. Yay, virtual vacation. Don't talk over me, please. This is my moment. This is my vacation. Oh my god, so many choices. What do I want to be? I think I'll be human one. You know what? No, actually. Even in my own solo experience, I'm still ranked four. Human four, please. Also, will I click the smaller human mode? Oh, it's already on. I'd just like to clarify, I'm not actually small. It's just I'm sitting down. I could put on subtitles to make it feel I'm actually on vacation somewhere. Well, binary, yeah. Anyway, I'll take a vacation to the Windows XP field. Let's go with English. And I'm ready to go, I think. Why am I so small? Can I make myself bigger? I feel like a child and I shouldn't be allowed to travel alone. There we go. I stood up and sat down and fixed it. I'm so good at IT. So I played this on the channel before, but I'm going to do things that we've never experienced. So it's a brand new experience in vacation island. I've also just bought the valve index so I can use my fingers. What a terrible game to try it on. This serves no purpose whatsoever. Anyway, hello. You really nailed the standard human greeting protocols. Thank goodness. It's been so long since I hung out with anyone. I thought I'd forgotten. I thought I'd go for a handshake like this, giving the old Spider-Man. Head into the bathroom to personalize the way you look. All right. I don't really need to personalize much. That's my skin tone. I'm ready to go. Leave me out. Leave me out. You locked me in here. All right, there we go. So I was getting claustrophobic. Anyway, I'm ready to go. We want you to be your most authentic on vacation island. Head into the bathroom. No, I'm done. These aren't gloves. This is actually my skin tone. Yeah, that's me. Let me go. Check out the bathroom. That's where you can customize your look. Why won't they let me be me? So what? I'm boring. I get it. Just giving you a bit of air some more. I hope you like it. I'm not even going to question what this thing is. All right. Am I done? Do I need to comb my? I don't. I don't need to do that. Hair gel. Maybe I should get some hair. What do we got here? What looks most like me? Probably this one. Glorious flowing locks. Yeah, that reminds me of me. Looking good. There we go. Now that is hair. Look at that. I'm so hairy. Oh, just like that, it's gone. Hair gel. Goop it on. All right. The robot's got to look in. Like, I kind of understand why robots took over. Why is this one the few humans left? He's drinking the hair gel. Looking good, human. Thank you for lying. Appreciate that. I'll be outside when you want to check out the rest of the video. Shut up. I'm watching television. This is why I went on vacation to watch TV. Oh, you've got a Game Box 90? Oh my God. I only have a Game Box four. Choose wisely. Sounds like my type of game. All you have to do is get to the airport and make your flight. Take a train. Walk to the airport. Ride your bike. I'll walk to the airport. You miss your flight by a wide margin. Nobody's here to save the park to yourselves. Soon to watch sunrise. No, just go home. Vacation over. Thanks. All right. I'm done with video games. All right. Some snacks for the road. Creamer. Oh, that goes well with hair gel. Now use it on that scanner over there. Wait. I can't get in. I have no memories because I've been in lockdown for nearly a year now. Come on. Let me in. Well, that is just depressing. And when that vacation island is open. Oh, thank goodness. I think I'm going to go to the forest. That sounds great. The beach is the most efficient place to start. No, FU. I can flip off everyone now because I have the index. I just lift my middle finger. Oh, it's so real. I'm so immersed. Yo, peace. Thanks for helping me out. But seriously, thank you. I'm going to the forest. Welcome to vacation forest. Oh my God. This is amazing. I'm never going on real vacation again. This is better. Hello. That robot's fishing. He might send out fishing emails. He might say, shut up. You're talking over all my jokes. I'm trying to walk into the rapids, but the game won't let me. There's a camera in your backpack. Try it out. All right. You ready for a picture? I'm testing out the camera. Don't mind that I'm flipping you off as I press it. There you go. I'll always remember how much you hated me. What's this? Did I find money? Did anyone drop this? Can I eat it? No, I can't. Okay. Let me see if I can put this in my bag. Yes, I can. Nice. Next best thing to eating it. Hello. Can I help you? This forest is filled with beautiful dragonflies. I'm not interested in that. I'm leaving it. Hey, family. You enjoying time alone with your family and having fun and making family memories? Can I join you? You don't mind if I eat some of your snacks, do you? I'm sure you don't. Hey, kiddo. Candy's bad for you anyway. Get that bubble out of your mouth. I'm ruining their family trip. This one looks genuinely upset. Do something. Do something fun. I feel like Dudley and Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone with the snake, except I'm doing it to a child. Camper. All right. I'm out of here. I'm done bullying this child. I love vacationing. Wow. What? Real campfire. Oh, I did that by accident. Let me know when you're ready for a spooky story. All right. I'm ready for some spooks. I'll turn on the dark. I'll turn on the dark. Oh my God. Oh my God. This is where they get their revenge from me pulling the child. Hey, human. Would you mind getting me these hot couples? Liquid. I've been ignoring your story entirely and eating your food. You want liquid? Isn't that bad for you? You're kind of a computer. I don't... Do you like hair gel? Because I brought some of that. Oh, ukulele. Let me play you the song of my people. Country roads. Take me home. You look so upset. All right. Let me just cook this so I never make horrible music again. And I'll be out of your hair. I don't know if I'm just robbing people by collecting all this money. I'm just kind of picking it up. Oh, this is the thing that they wanted was that... No, that wasn't them. The child wants something. But honestly, feeding a child a sandwich in the forest is kind of weird. I don't know if I want to do that. Oh, this is the dragonfly that that robot wanted. I assume they wanted pictures of it. And not me to just pick it up. But let me go back to them. Thank you, human. Oh, okay. That's what you want. All right. I'll find him for you. Don't you fear? And I got to remember that that guy wants a drink of something. Ooh, another one. Another one for my bug report. Jesus, I'm flying with that. Harmonica. This is me playing the harmonica. This is my harmonica song. I'm just robbing you if you don't mind. Here, you can have this sausage. Eat the sausage. Take it. You know what? Whether you eat it or not, I'm taking your money. Sorry, I dropped your money. But I got it back. Don't worry. Stuffing my bag with all their money. You must be interested in but me. I cannot express to you how little I am interested in that, actually. In fact, while you explain it to me, I'm going to attempt to drown myself with your watering can. Oh, Jesus. I can immediately surrender. That's me. Look how good I look. Oh, those golden locks. I look like a blonde version of Weird Al. Oh, nice. You grabbed my acorn spawn and slain shark. Oh, can I have this? Yes, robbery. I'd like a hat. Gone fishing. I like that one. Oh, my God, I look so good. I think I want a selfie. I look really good right now. Oh, my God, that's lovely. This person's just like, I don't want to be in this photo. Oh, whoopie cushion. How much is that? I don't know if I should spend all my points on a whoopie cushion. I might hold on for a minute. Oh, my God, I'm in the rapids. What is this? Just a stick. Okay. No fish. What? Fish checker. But there's loads of fish. I can see them swimming around me. Check out the board. You want a green catfish? Oh, it got away. God damn it. How to take it out on the other fish? Stupid fish. Oh, here it comes. Yes. There you go. There's your green fish. I know what I like and I like that fish. Okay, I got a blue salmon for you, but I need to get you a yellow trout first. Stupid green fish. I don't want you. Go away. And now they're like jumping into my face to mock me. Go away. I love going on vacation. Just slapping some fish. Oh, wait. Hold on a second. That pink one turned yellow when he ate this. Here. Yes. It's a yellow salmon. Okay. I need a different fish. Oh, video game. Fish master. I don't want to play fish master. Yellow trout. Catfish don't want you. That's a salmon. Ah, I just punched myself in the face. Good thing I'm extremely weak. Yay, I'm done. And I only punched myself once a new record. Did I get a memory? I thought I'd get a memory. Oh, wait. Fish finder. Yes. Memory. That time I hung out with a computer in a river catching fish with my bare hands and punching myself in the face. That's one to remember. I just keep feeding this fish and I think it's getting cruel at this point. Like he's, he's fucking massive. All right. Well, I'm out of here. I've done enough fishing. Oh, what's up here? Oh, you want a painting? I can paint for you. What do you want? Would you like to discover the digital canvas? With me? Botmoth? Botmoth! Fantastic. Okay. I can paint whatever I want. Here. This is March now. Yeah, it's angry, isn't it? Okay. So I got to go find these two who want a painting. That's the butterfly one or dragonfly or whatever. What do you want painted? Hi, human. Hi. This forest is filled with beautiful dragonflies. Oh, you need your dragonflies first. God damn it. Okay. I'll try and find your dragonfly. But I don't know where. Shut up. Shut up. I'm trying to concentrate. Sorry. I use harmonicas when I'm thinking. Do I just paint anything? I think I just paint anything. Okay. Let's get something for the gardener. Okay. All blue. Great. And we'll paint some green on there. What a lovely flower. This is the flower getting shot. That's the pistol and then the blood there. So print that out for me. Thank you very much. I'll give that to the gardener. She's going to love it. He's sweating. He's like, I don't really like this. A painting for me? Yes. She must be like, oh, your child made this? What age are they? And I know it's by me. Child prodigy called me Kevin age 27. I just call this one blood. This is for the other lady here. No bother at all. I'd like to think we made a happy little memory here. I think we did too. This one is so calming. I love it. A painting memory of me and Bart Ross. Can I just put this into mass production? I just take two of these. I want to bring one to the grill. And that's snow one. Where is that snow one? I've not seen that person. Maybe they're in a different area. That would make sense. I think they might be. Oh, dragonfly. Come here, you little sh- I'll be back. I'm watching and waiting for you. Oh, I just realized I can probably get the fish for- Oh, that's where I need to fish elsewhere to bring them the fish. That makes sense now. I was wondering why I couldn't get the fish over there. Guess gotcha, you little fecker. All right, there you go. Three for three. Yay. Do I get a memory? Oh, always remember finding dragonflies with you. With me. You did feck all. You just sat here doing nothing. Yeah, that's right. I know by accident, but there you go. I need a hot cup of liquid to relax my- Audio processor. Butter. It's liquid gold. Can I just fill him up a mug of butter? Would he drink that? I'd drink that. That would be delicious. Oh, what I wouldn't give for a nice warm cup of butter right now. Here you go, sir. Drink up. That's good for you. Oh, that's much. Oh, no. Oh, God. The butter made him blue screen. Can you give me a cup of liquid? Hot? Yeah, I can get you some hot butter. I'm putting this book in the waffle iron. Where's that mug? Oh, there it is. All right. How can I heat up the mug? Oh, there you go. There's still a bit of butter in that. There you go. You like burnt butter? Oh, that's much better. There we go. Warm butter. That's what you need. Back to the story time. It's a bit inconvenient. Like, the others are trying to enjoy the place and you just made it nighttime. Oh, my God. No, no, it's a horror. No, I remember that sound. No. Oh, no. Did you forget to eat today? Oh, my God. Do you want to eat? Have a sausage. Eat it. Could you bring me a waffle? A waffle? Oh, good. I just put one on a while ago. Let me see how it's doing. There you go. Here you go. Waffle time. I'm throwing sausages at his kid as he's telling me the story. No! I wasn't scared. No, no, no. Definitely not. And look, neither was the human. Honestly, I zoned out. I got distracted by throwing sausages at your child. Spooky story. Great. Another memory. That's four. I only need one more to go on a hike. Okay. Let me make up some food. I've already been feeding your father anyway. What's that? Syrup and pancakes? Let me... One second. Let me make a pancake. Oh, yummy pancake. Where's the bloody syrup? Can I just put hot sauce on their pancake instead? There you go. That'll do. Thanks, but I'll wait for my order. God damn it. What's wrong with a pancake with hot sauce, huh? You don't sell syrup. Do you have...? This is so difficult. At least I look good doing it. You look like a million bucks. Oh, wait. There's forest targets. Oh, I didn't even realize that earlier. I hope that child is a target. The poor child is being tormented. There you go. That's it. Please stop. This is meant to be a fun activity. You're not supposed to bully that child. Oh, they blend in. That is a clever little target. Ow. Why did I say ow? I didn't hurt myself. I just meant like... Oh, no. I don't know what's wrong with me. Sneaky. I'm getting them, though. I'm getting them. I just realized... Oh, God. Oh, I fell off the tree house. Oh, no. I'm in a coma. Oh, I'm good. Oh, fewer. I just realized that he had feck put up behind me, though. I didn't realize he hung up that picture. Oh, that is a sneaky one. That was a good one. I like that one. I'm making a waffle out of the butter. I love it. Can I eat that? Oh, yummy. Plastic. Now that's recycling. I wonder, can I buy the syrup anywhere? Maybe that would be a good plan. Do you sell syrup? I'm running out of things to add to this garden. Um, what if I just make the watering can into a flower? Will that work? What about one of these? Can you turn this into a flower for me in the shade of blue? No, nothing. I just need to get this a little bit more up. God damn it. Uh, make another one, but make it, uh, red. I just can't complete this. Give me another flower and make it purple. There we go. Okay, it's in. It looks wonderful, human. It do you think so? It looks like trash. It looks like weeds. Here's a memory of your horticultural demonstration. Thank you. Memories from memories. You give me this. I gave you that. Yes, five memories. I got myself a whoopee cushion. Do you like it? Do you like my whoopee cushion? Are you happy with my purchase? Oh, my whoopee cushion. That's going in the backpack. That'll come in handy. I think this is my last target. I knew there'd be one around here. There we go. I think I got all of them. I'm going to tell the hiking person. Oh, you did it. Yes, I destroyed all the targets. Memories. Oh, I dropped my memory. All right, I'm able to go hiking now, but you know what? I could use a little snack beforehand. What does this thing do? Non-food. Inedible. We'll see about that. What's that? I showed you.