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I've only ever had two things in my entire life bro like happen to me proper in a bad way you know like being shot or stabbed because really when I think about it bro a lot of the time it's been me doing something to somebody you know what I'm saying bro so I've did pretty well really when I think about it you get me but you know even though it was two times bro in my mind bro that I felt like it was 200 bro you get what I'm saying like it felt like bro like other people probably don't even remember or like you got me saying bro but in my mind bro it was like that shit was fresh bro. How much do you think karma plays a part? Do you think that exists? Yeah I do you know. What was it feeling getting shot three times? Not as bad as getting stabbed you know what bro when I got stabbed you that properly fucked me up that's what I'm saying but see I got stabbed nine times I got stabbed like my hands arms arms arms shoulder this one here on my neck bro see there like couple times when I got shot though that's through my wrist here come on the other side of my wrist there through my stomach come out my grind one through my leg come out the other side as well. How is that for your mum getting shot three times when you see huff the next time? Do you feel disappointment? Do you feel sad or heartbroken or do you still have that mentality where you don't you kind of block it out? Boom we're on today's guest we've got G-Riller G-Riller known as G-Riller. How are you big dog? I'm good you know bro I'm good man I've been waiting for one of these moments you know what I'm saying this is um yeah man yeah man this is this is an important moment. Yeah you've not told your story have you? Nah bro um it's like what I was saying before man we've come from it's a different type of era bro like we didn't really talk too much you know I'm saying so telling my story bro weren't really like an option at the time if that makes sense you either knew me or you don't and it's what I'm saying put more time. Try to keep everything in house it's just a new generation that people are. Bro I'm still I'm still baffled you when I'm seeing certain things on the internet you get me like it's still new to me like that certain things but yeah yeah you've done about a time in prison yourself you and your brothers three brothers and all been in prison but I'll go back to start with my guests where you grew up and how it all began well you know what I was born in London you know well yeah I'm actually born in London bro Kings Kings College Hospital I'm born born in London so I remember I remember living in London for a little bit when as a kid like a small bro but then I remember moving to the Middle East so we moved straight to Qatar because I'm half Sudanese I'm half Sudanese so my pops is full Sudanese yeah me mom's born in the England Jamaican background but we moved over there though and then I was over there for a couple years bro went schooling and stuff over there you know I'm saying life was different over there though bro like it wasn't like it wasn't you know it's completely different bro like we lived in big houses we had because over there it wasn't really uh you didn't you didn't have two floors it was like big bungalows you know I'm saying so imagine like a mansion but all on one floor that's how it was we had maids and shit like it was crazy still when I think about it now but that was normal as a kid though you know I'm saying we even went private school like my pops had a good job over there you know I'm saying like he what was he doing you know what I can't remember exactly bro nah like I don't want to say he worked in um it was like some sort of printing company but it was like some high up you know I'm saying I think I had something to do with printing money and stuff but um my brother knows that shit better because they remember it better being older and that but um you know we was we was over there bro and like I'm saying life was different bro like there was you know we had beach houses bro like literally like you go there driving on quads and shit for no reason in the fucking sand and that bro like it was different living and then um like bro I'll give you an example here like I remember we used to get chauffeur driven around the place here like if we went to a shop the people in the shop would come out to us and be like yo would you want my dad would tell them and they'd be like yo they run back in the shop bro like just pick up all these items and come back you get me but like I said to me at the time as a kid this was all just normal though this is all kind of known and seen you get me so bro somehow like I don't know what happened between my mom and my pops but I just know we just came straight back to england and we was in handsworth bro this is how I remember it anyway what is did you come back what what do you say what what age what age that's probably about I want to say about I reckon about eight or something you know so it's like in my mind bro if you can think of yourself when you have when you ate and like I could I could remember everything clearly you know I'm saying so when I've come over here now bro as yo I was confused bro because we went from living in those houses to come in straight back to england to broom to handsworth which is like one of the hoods of the most or the hoods you know I'm saying to just living in a just straight up a broke down council fucking house you get what I'm saying what was it like going from private school to then like a council estate school you know what's mad bro point like this year you see oh you see over there he said like a kid who's looked down and is not really being too smart over there and like say the bottom sets that kid would come over here bro and be in the top sets over here do you know what I'm saying the teaching you get over there bro is like it's different bro so you come if you you came over here you're going to school you'd think everything was easy do you know what I'm saying because that's how it was for all the bus we came bro we was we was advanced and we didn't realize it you know what I'm saying but it was a big change though bro it was like the way it's just just the attitude everyone it was different you know what I'm saying you're over there bro everyone everyone's moving like it's dazys in sunshine you know what I'm saying it came over here bro it was just it was a different environment you know what I'm saying and that you could feel that from using primary school you know what I'm saying it was like a different environment bro like it's it's it's different bro if you I'm saying and you understand that well I understood that from then you go I'm saying like but my primary school though a lot of how can I put it like a lot of brand name people came out of my primary school you go I'm saying and you know being on the ends man I grew fast you know what I'm saying bro like I grew fast like my brother my older brother he was um he went to so so I then this is what I saw growing up when I was growing up I saw my brother getting into loads of fights and scraps and shit you get me mickey matter fact everyone on the ends called it mad mickey you get me well he bro he got into it with it seemed like everyone at the time you know what I'm saying but in my brain though yeah it's almost like it was training me bro like in my mind I'm seeing this and I'm thinking to myself see my brother he wouldn't even have realized this you know what I'm saying but it's like in my mind I'm thinking I need to hurry up and toughen up you know what I'm saying did you feel pressure that yeah I felt like I felt like yo I that's my brother like and I need to hurry up and become who I'm becoming bro so that these things ain't happening bro not to say that he not to say he went handling his shit because my brother always handled his shit you know what I'm saying but it's just that I don't know about like it literally made me feel like yo I need to hurry up and step up what's the ace difference with the three of use so he's like so one of my brothers is like a year older than me mickeys like six seven years older than me and he's a unit is real man he does a cage feint in that night yeah he don't play a game man but this is the craziest thing yeah that cage feint you see him doing bro he was fucking people up like that year from ages ago bro it's like almost like you know when you know certain people going to mix martial arts in that bro they're going to the MMA and learn how to fight it's almost like he already knew how to do that and he's just kind of channeled it into something you know what I'm saying because growing up bro that's all he did well people track Billy is coming from a different kind of world to then come into council estate well with him yeah see we've outbringings have been kind of it's been a little bit different bro because my brother kind of bared the brunt of like being older and kind of paving the way so I didn't really have that pressure bro like when I was when I got to a certain age they already knew who I was because they know who my brother is do you get what I'm saying so his experience was a little different he had to kind of push through a bit more whereas with me you know I did my thing but there was always the aspect of oh that's such and such his brother you get what I'm saying so but also though bro I got a big family so my mom my mom and my dad's families are both big did you ever speak to your dad again yeah yeah yeah my pop he came he came he came you know he's he kind of goes back and forth you know what I'm saying but you know we always we always been cool though we always been cool there's been little you know there's been spaces where we ain't you know we ain't seen him for you know a couple years here and there but in the recent years he's more stuck around at the time coming from like this totally night and day from going from private school to then that did you ever question him over it why you know the maddie's fingers bro nah not really you know I can't you know you know the more I got older though yeah it's the more like I had these questions but really I didn't um I didn't really ask this when I was growing up though I felt more like um that's that's grown people shit at the time you know I'm saying like that's my parents this shit like I ain't really I don't know brof but now I'm older though yeah there's I have a million and one question bro I look back and I think hold on a minute wait if we was doing that why we end up doing this like you know I'm saying all the questions come now when I'm older but when I was younger bro I kind of just put that to the back of my mind like yo fuck it yeah because I'm from a private school there's more opportunities not necessarily you're going to be a better kid I know plenty of people went from private school that are more fucked up cocaine than people who grew up from in the streets it's um but it's the opportunities it can present themselves with to go to one school to then go on to that did you struggle once you went to secondary school once was your accent that different yeah first of all everyone used to tell us that we sound american and we was like what the fuck are you talking about like bro you don't fucking sound american bro but but everyone used to tell me and my brother's like yo welcome you guys sound like that and we're thinking the fuck are you talking about bro but and you see our work and stuff this is what I'm saying when it came to the classwork though bro it literally seemed like it was giving us like easy work on purpose or something ideas ahead the attain them who's ahead bro my brother mickey bro that don't let his fucking him do an mma fool you bro my brother is like and my next brother to you but you see mickey bro this geezer is like super fucking smart bro like this geezer is like bro the amount of qualifications and bro like i swear down you wouldn't expect it so how does freeware educated kids then all in that prison this is what i'm saying bro it's mad because if you know what we capable of you it doesn't make sense but then at the same time bro circumstance environment you get what i'm saying yeah so you see like the way i'm telling you i come from a big family in it so my dad's side of family is big he's got like 10 brothers of some shit you know i'm saying same in my mom's side well you know i could literally tell you bro like one of my uncles right now in the same house bro there's like 11 of them you know i'm saying so if you think of this bro and then go down the chain and i ain't talking about second cousin or rare rare those are like immediate you know i'm saying bro like so coming up now i was able to just roll with my family members do you get what i'm saying because they was older than me i'm one of the youngest out my cousins so they was already doing what they were doing so it's kind of like i was able to just come around and kind of pick things up well i picked up very faster do you get what i'm saying and you know at one point in my in my brain bro like i remember i remember seeing like my older older cousins and stuff here with like whether it was whether it was jewelry money whatever it was bro and i leech i remember thinking to myself yo that's what i want like that's what i want all that other shit went out the window of like you know when you think about yo get this grade get this to that i just looked them for that's what i want you know i'm saying they you know it looks like you know you you you're trying to get these qualifications or whatnot so that you can build up to a stage to get that shit but bro they've already got it so like i want that do you know i'm saying that's that's how my mind seeing it at the time you get me and it's like every time it's almost like every time i sin something bro i just feel than like yo that's what i'm on every time i sin something that was almost like past that next level you know i'm saying i feel like yo that's what i want to do when did you start getting into a leaf of cream young bro like you know because that first you're doing things and you don't even look at it like it's crime you know i'm saying bro like you just do it you just you're just doing what you would you would you friends or whatever you know i'm saying but it was you know when i was younger bro i would i would be playing outside you and i'd hear like i'd see like brand name people go by go by you know i'm saying so from i was about i said about 14 or something bro fame 14 like my brothers were already doing what they were doing i was already seeing things you get what i'm saying bro so i'd say from about from about about 14 i was already like i was i was on the road from about 15 though i was like on the road though like you know what i'm saying 14 was like i you know i'm saying i'm around certain older man and that's what i'm saying even now when i'm thinking about it bro 14 and the people start to round over way older bro like but by the time i was 15 bro like i was out there bro like proper active like like out there bro remember the first time you got a jail i went to jail when i was you know i was kind of late to go to jail still to be fair i kind of did i did pretty well you know bro because i kept i feel like every time i went to court yeah to crown court i'd bust case i ain't gonna lie bro it's like in my mind yeah i started feeling like yo i just bust case you know i'm saying like i always bust case bro that i started to really feel like i'm not even in the chat shit i really started to feel like that bro and then when reality hits you know i'm saying bro because on this occasion it's like even though i knew how the seriousness of the scenario it's like i still thought in my mind yeah nah like i'll bust that like i still fought that bro and i didn't bust it like i tell you what i think um i think when i went to court and they were like yeah obviously remand i think then it was like hmm all right this one might be going a bit different you know i'm saying than obviously but to be fair bro when i got when i got bagged here what did you get done with firearms yeah and what was your sentence five years yes i got a five year and bro yo you know so check so check this out so the way i got the way i got nabged here i'm in like i'm in this i'm in a car bro en i fucking bro i've fallen asleep with this with this thing on me you know i'm saying and then i've basically woke up to police around the car but imagine when they've come around the car it's like it's like they they they didn't come for what they got you know i'm saying bro they came for they came for like um i think they thought was like selling drugs or some shit yeah either way they were coming to the car or it just wasn't for that you know i'm saying so when he's come to when he's come to the whip um something like two of them at this point you know i'm saying i've woke up bro joke time but anyway i've woke up bro and i've seen i've seen this um the fed guy at the window and i'm thinking to myself yo what the fuck looks like you know for a second you know when you have to gather your thoughts for a second when you just wake up and i've looked around brother and i'm thinking hold in a minute now my virgin news beside me now just me and my virgin in the car you know in my mind like as soon as i wake up and i clock them i'm thinking how the fuck like why didn't you wake me up from earlier or something like when they were pulling it out the way the road was here and where they pulled from it's like he could have woke me up from a bit earlier that's what i thought in my mind at the time you get me but then this um you know the guys um you know they pulled their um you know the fucking bullshit card they always pulled you know i'm saying i can smell weed and that you know i'm saying the whip no one went smoking but obviously what the fuck can you say wants to draw that card you know i'm saying bro so then it was so then it was um it turned from that to you know can you just step out the car and give you a quick pat down you get what i'm saying now to be fair bro they weren't going on they weren't going on too bad blame my mind though i'm thinking you can't pat me down bro you know you pat me down bro this is this is about to go left you get what i'm saying so i get out of the car my man goes to uh pat me down bro and you're just took off bro i say you're fucked this bro like you're gonna have to i'm not just fucking like what am i gonna do bro i'm starting to say just one second there you go like what am i gonna do bro like you know what i'm saying i said fuck this so i've i've just cut i start running to be fair bro i kind of dusted them you know what i'm saying i can kind of move for a big guy you know what i'm saying so i dip round the corner i'll fucking um by the time you see because where we was yeah it was like hey it wasn't on the main road but by the time i turn the corner we go on to a main road so you're talking like like there's bosses and shit going past and i'm i'm just cutting cutting cutting as i turn now yeah i turn i take this because imagine this year it's like imagine if you had on your jump hand you put on a pouch then you put your coat on that's like how i had it on so it was almost like a holster you know what i'm saying like i'll just rock it like that so it was just quick you know what i'm saying bro but on this occasion yeah it made it fucking harder you know i'm saying because i'm running i'm having try and unzip my coat i didn't take this thing out by the but i managed to do it though and then i throw it and then i cut around a couple more corners by the time i cut around these corners i'm thinking i'm nice you know i stopped running i walked down the road a bit you know by this time to kind of catch up with me and they're like yo were you running for i'm saying to the guy well you know i thought i had it weren't out for my arrest i mean i don't want to get in trouble so right now i'm just i'm just running in it you know i'm saying he's like all right all right we'll stay here don't do that again but in his mind bro it's like he was more just pissed that i ran you know i'm saying rob it in him thinking i've run because of something big you know i'm saying bro yeah that's how his attitude was it was like a young kind of easy get me it's like he was just looking at me like you know what you're doing you know i'm saying anyway i'm standing there now bro the van pulls up because by this time like loads of feds have just come from fuck knows where you get me the van pulls up to put me on the van but when they put me on the van though bro it's almost like they're just doing there you know when they're feeling out there the the fucking form bullshit bro to give you whatever and they're just holding me there you get me as they're holding me there bro you know i'm looking out this window i just start seeing the activity just move a bit more just move faster something was it right just so i'm going right bro i'm seeing the way the feds are moving yeah you know i'm looking out the window bro i'm like nah i don't think i fingy this one something's not right mind you a second ago i thought i was blessed you know i'm saying where i'm to where fruit you get me so turns out bro they found the thing you know i'm saying someone stuck in bro imagine this so in my mind i'm thinking there's no way bro like how the fuck did they just find that you know i'm saying but if they do i'm thinking cool though because you know you're gonna have to prove that in abc that's how i'm thinking at the time you get me i'll come to find out afterwards though bro that some random fucking geesa bro driving past has just fucking send me to this bro dickhead good samaritan type of motherfucker has jumped out bro gone to the feds for no fucking reason and said yo my man just did this just some random guy bro like you didn't get no fucking money for that or anything bro he's just jumped out did that kept his day moving you get me didn't i got back bro you got i'm saying but to be fair i knew i weren't really going to be able to boss it though because finger plants yeah bro i was just heated a moment in it you got i'm saying bro so i had like i just had to do what i was doing at the time i could it's not like i could have run and then put my you know i'm saying bro it was just quick movement but what kind of gun was a four five you know so that's powerful gun that's what i'm saying bro you carrying that every day that's how it was so to be fair to be fair not that one every day it was see that long story yeah basically but that one is what i had on me that day what was it like then getting a five stretch with your two brothers being in jail what was your mom thinking her third son going to prison well is that tough on your mom you know that's that's it's mad bro because i want to think of these things like no i didn't think of this when i was younger bro like when we were doing what we're doing bro it's like you kind of got a selfish mentality in it and you don't even really it's like a selfish mentality by accident you know i'm saying bro like you're just living for you doing what you're trying to block it out because you know everybody knows when they do right from wrong no matter who they are you get what i'm saying when you're in that life you don't want to think about anybody else's consequences but everything has that effect where it damages everybody around you also who care for you yeah facts and you know the thing is bro you know with my family year we're growing up with like proper my morals and principles you know i'm saying to you so like what you're saying is right like we definitely understand you know i'm saying bro but it's the circumstance to bro you know i'm saying when you when you're in a certain kind of environment bro it's hard to not be let me show you something you know it could you know how many people i know bro where they've got into this because they was just doing them and then something's happened to them and then they're thinking yo fuck that do you know i'm saying like something's happened to them for no reason and then they thought yo fuck that now i'm going to do abnc now before they know it bro now they in this you know i'm saying that's not quite how it happened with me but i'm saying that's how easy it is bro like the environment bro it's mad still but when i got when i got luck though bro i got crazy luck you know because like you say you know i'm saying we know four five is a powerful gun bro but on this occasion this thing was this was fully loaded bro one in the head you know i'm saying and do you think you would have used that you know what bro so i had you know what i had that with me yeah that was like not too long after after i got shot so i got shot and then you know it's again bro circumstance do you know what i'm saying how many times you get shot i got shot three times so one occasion three times what age were you then about 21 22 so still young but you had this for kind of protection because it's kind of not right to die but killer b killed mentality well round that time period he was something like that you know i'm saying it's like because you know no one wants to be on that receiving end bro you know i'm saying like and especially especially if you felt that you know i'm saying we were it's been stabbed been shot you know you ain't trying to have that happen again do you know i'm saying and this is this is the part here that that that always gets me when i hear people talking about yo these younger youths are stupid or they're trying to talk down on the younger youths talking about yo you know they're carrying a knife or carrying discs and i'm like bro you need to put yourself in there shoes for a second you know bro like you're looking at it like he's just stepping out nine times out of ten bro those kids ain't even on that roof but in their mind they thinking yo i got a friend you know if you got you got killed or something i'm gonna just keep this with me for just in case if anything you go i'm saying bro and that usually that that can spiral sometimes you get me but well a lot of time bro you know i'm saying a person's a person's thinking to themselves i ain't trying to be on the receiving end you go i'm saying and i know in my mind that that's happening because you see i've been stabbed and you know i'm saying when i was when i was stabbed i was even younger i was like i'll be real with you bro you know getting shot you know when i got stabbed that that more turned me into a monster bro like when i got stabbed you get me where yeah so i was in the city center so check it my brother's rolling with some kids yeah the kids who my brother's rolling rolling with chatting to however you want to put it you get me they all went to the same college and shit they were cool basically you get me some little argument happened with them my brother ends up getting to a scrap now the scrap that they get into my other brother ends up you know jumping in and they end up beating up these you get me it was a minor it weren't really no big deal bro a week later now i see saying like you know same set of man and then it goes off but when it goes off here you know in my mind it's just a scrap you know it's just a big scrap but by the end of the scrap you know i'm realizing i've been stabbed because why it is now imagine imagine the archway of a bus so this kid's standing in the archway so we end up having this scrap bro and then at the end of it because i went on to the bus at the end of it i come off the bus you know i'm saying still walking on my feet everything i'm feeling like i'm cool like i ain't even been hitting my face nothing you know i'm saying i'm feeling cool just when i turn i realize raw there's loads of blood coming from my neck you know i'm saying i'm like wait there but i thought the blood was coming from my hand because i had on a set of gloves here and i noticed there was a tear in the glove so i thought i caught my hand on something so i take the glove off and i see my hands bleeding and i'm like yo i'm saying to my brothers in that i think it's just my hand when i turn my neck bro it's like a movie for the way the blood shot across the road bro like this bro it reached like meters bro like it was like a film what you see on the films that shit happens like that you know what i'm saying the blood went far bro well it's like i didn't panic though it's like when it happened i just remember thinking to myself yo just be calm you know what i'm saying because i saw how much blood came out my neck bro and i just thought yo just be calm probably save your life you know what i'm saying so my brothers my brother you know he kind of just placed me on the floor he get me to just make sure i was cool in that you know i see a fucking there's like a woman in that put a fucking mobile phone in my face bro i was like yo get the fucking phone out my face like call the ambulance or some shit he there with the phone in my face and then my other brothers come out come come from nowhere bro i don't even know where the fuck he came from so i can see so i'm laying on the floor but i can see my bros you know what i'm saying like i can see both of them and then imagine i'm flying to uh you know i'm flying to the hospital in this ambulance now bro and you know it's easy trying to keep me awake in that you know what i'm saying by the time i get there now bro there's a couple doctors around yeah and there's just i remember this one chinese guy who and he said well i think he's chinese you know me but my man's come around now and he said to me yo i'm going to put you to sleep so i'm thinking to myself i'm thinking to myself all right cool i'm expecting like something to go over my face bro i shit you're not bro this guy is to put his fingers on my throat bro i just put me to sleep for him i don't know i don't know what type of technique that was bro this guy is to put me to sleep bro i woke up in some some dark ass room bro thinking what the fuck i could hear people breathing or fucks bro i come to find out that was like some room where basically people go when they think he's going to fucking die awesome shit you get me so i wake up in this room like what the fuck is going on here bro the the nurse comes and i'm saying when this when this nurse comes over bro i'm saying to her yo it's like she got scared when she sent me awake like she didn't expect me to wake up or something so she's all panicking bro running around i'm saying to her yo i need a drink because i could feel the roof of my mouth bro hanging it's like it's like to try to put something you know like down my throat or something the doctors or whatever and it's like they took the roof of my mouth bro i could feel it flapping like a fucking dog flap bro you get me so this woman saying that yo i can't give you a glass of water she came over bro she she went out of the room she came back with like a like a wet fucking sponge bro and fucking bro had to just suck the sponge you get me because the way it's like it's like when i woke up bro i can't explain the first bro it was crazy but anyway after that bro i was probably in that hospital for about six days and i discharged myself you get me because the hygiene was fucked in there but i discharged myself and you know what bro i was pretty fucked you know like i was fucked bro but my attitude you wouldn't really have known i was fucked bro because i still was me you know what i'm saying and if anything it made me it's like it's like bro if peeps only knew yeah how fucked i was yeah they could have just seen me bro and like pushed me in my forehead and i would have fell over bro you know what i'm saying how does that heighten your paranoia how does that heighten like your your surroundings when you're close to death and she's probably millimeters from death when you come out what is your mindset how's your head what you're thinking is it i'm carrying a piece that she fucked me up bro like i tell you what yeah my paranoia went on ten bro it's still there it's not even it's not even that's not a thing where it's coming on bro like that's that is why it is bro the craziest thing though it's like bro it's like a love hate thing though it's like a it's like i hate it but at the same time bro i don't know if i change it sounds sounds weird in it but it's like yo i don't know if i change it though bro because why would i change it if i've actually experienced that bro and it's you know i'm saying bro do you know the kid who stabbed you yeah yeah yeah but was that a tough war was that kind of gang thing it's mad bro because it looked like it was it looked like it was but it wasn't you know it looked like it was easy to look like that because he was from one side of town and i'm from one side of town you know i'm saying but really bro who knows the actual situation it actually wasn't that but it looked like that though plus it kind of didn't help because fucking i was on the mad one after that bro like after that my my mind was just like yo man i started bro you know you know i started really thinking to myself bro like hold in a minute so like this would have just been cool if i went here no more nah you know i'm saying bro like like i felt like i ain't gonna be the one you know bro whose name is like i'm the victim you know i'm saying bro like i ain't the victim so i always felt like if something happens to me bro what you need to remember in this scenario is what happened to the other person you know i'm saying bro so every time i've ever been every time i've you know been in a scenario before bro like this is it's that war mentality you know i'm saying bro like like i'm not i'm not i'm not losing this is this is this is bro so it's fucked it's fucked still because when i'm saying all of this bro it sounds fucked but it's the reality you know i'm saying like this is really bro the mindframes that develop bro like like that's how you see everything how much does that dent the pride knowing that something's happened to me yeah man of your stature your brothers big boy fucking you feel untouchable walking away from court cases it's the ones who feel untouchable that's it that's the ones who get fucking let me show you something bro this is what's crazy it i've only ever had two things in my entire life bro like happened to me proper in a bad way you know like being shot or stabbed because really when i think about it bro a lot of the time it's been me doing something to somebody you know i'm saying bro so i've did pretty well really when i think about it you get me but you know even though it was two times bro in my mind bro that i felt like it was 200 bro you get what i'm saying like it felt like bro like other people probably don't even remember or like you know i'm saying bro but in my mind bro it was like that shit was fresh bro how much do you think karma plays apart do you think that exists yeah i do you know you know that that's what i'm saying you know the way i look on things is a bit different now but when i was young at i didn't really i didn't really give a fuck about that you know bro but i go oh there and i'm like you know what bro you see i've seen too much stuff happen to people brother around me to not think that that's the thing you get what i'm saying like i know people bro who who's done the worst shit bro and you you thought there was going you know i'm saying and then down the line bro something ends up catching up of catching up bro what was it feeling getting shot three times not as bad as getting stabbed you know what bro when i got stabbed you that properly fucked me up that's what i'm saying but see i got stabbed nine times i got stabbed like my hands arms arms arms shoulder this one here on my neck bro see there like couple times when i got shot though that's through my wrist here come out the other side of my wrist there through my stomach come out my grind one through my leg come out the other side as well close range very close yeah it must have been like a bit further than me and you like probably probably literally not not not to that door bro you know what i'm saying like proper close like proper close that's a mad scenario two though that's a mad scenario two bro the um see like even with that there over that was like um you know because i got shot i got shot in a club i was in a club bro like but the maddie swing with that though that's what i'm saying bro that's that's a mad scenario as well yeah because the kid who shot me bro like we we had had a we had an altercation before you get me like but you're talking like a while ago though so like maybe a year and a half before that before me getting shot you know what i'm saying but then but then so imagine and this is the you know the craziest thing about this bro me and this kid yeah we were cool you know bro like we were mad cool but this is why the hoods fucked up though you know what i'm saying because you be you be cool with someone bro and shit just changes bro if you know what i'm saying and everyone's in house you know what i'm saying so we were cool bro once upon a time bro we were rolling and like we were cool bro and then and then a dickhead altercation happened in one in one uh in in in one club it was a minor you know proper minor bro like i must have been uh where would you call this no i can't remember the name of the place you know bro trying to remember the name of it i can't remember the name of it but anyway i'm in this place now yeah go into the bathroom there's a couple peeps chilling all by the fucking you know like by the stores where you're gonna piss so i'm like yo excuse when i asked you to excuse in that now though it's almost like uh it's like you got gasped up though bro like because on any other day bro we would have been cool but on this day he must have had this this on him so like i don't know he's got like powers this day or something you get me so you know i'm only going in there take a piss bro like i don't know why we were chilling in here like i've gone in there take a piss take a piss when i'm coming out you know i was like yo what are you saying you know you're cool mind you this ain't someone who ever would have spoke to me like this before you know i'm saying but on this occasion the way is you're cool that's not like asking me from cool bro that's like like yo what you saying you get me so i'm thinking uh so anyway me and him have a little back and forth but ain't nothing major though it's you know we're cool still by the time i leave the bathroom we still cool i end up in the corridor now me and my bro's couple cousins boom a group wouldn't come out like yo come to speak outside so i'm like come then we all know each other you know i'm saying so we go outside we talking so when we talking now one of his boys is talking shit but his boys talking shit though when me and him are actually talking cool you know i'm saying so my bro hears him talking shit so my bro hears him talking shit now no sorry wait i skipped a bit me and the kid go across the road now my bro is his his friend talking shit when he hears him talking shit he's like yo fuck this obviously you know coming from where we come from bro you don't wait too long before you act you know i'm saying bro because that can be the difference between fucking yeah bro so it's like the moment you're on to something it's kind of like fuck it in it you know i'm saying so that's how my bro was so he must have you know them them too have started going at it my brother's um you know fucking him up in that the other kid goes to joining when he goes to joining now i spot him going to joining so i'm like you know i go towards my man he runs off when he runs off on my back's turn bro i'll just hear bow bow bow shot start going off i'm like wait there but this is like right behind my head though so i turn around now when i turn around bro i see the u slapping shots like it's like he's shooting after my bro year but he's dizzy though because he's been getting punched up in his face so when he stands up and tries to let this go he's literally stumbling but letting it go you know i'm saying so i run over to this kid and i basically just grip him bro dash him to the floor take the burner off him fuck him up you know what i'm saying i take this burner off him but see where we was though bro i was even surprised that he did that though because where we was bro you wouldn't have really expected that but then again in broom shit goes down anywhere bro so yeah like shit goes down anywhere bro but when that's happened you know like i said everyone who was actually there at the place bro we all know each other so even when it's happened and peeps have seen me take the ting off him it's a thing where enough peeps have run over they're saying yo yo yo yo just come come come just you know get off obviously feds whatever it is get me so me and my bro obviously take the ting off him we caught you know i'm saying before police and that one comes because you can already hear the sirens in that bro like because this is happening in town center yeah this fucking police station is in the town center bro it's like literally around the corner you know what i'm saying so this took not long at all bro for them to come you know what i'm saying short shot off like we're taking two minutes two minutes hey you heard them them fucking sirens bro that was fast bro so we got off by the time we were getting off bro we saw that them driving past you know what i'm saying so that scenario there though bro it was mad because and this is why i say yeah the hood is fucked because it's like you can't really trust no one bro unless they like your family members of some shit and even then bro you know i'm saying but on this scenario bro why this was so fucked up was you see when this happened we all understood yo this is in house so this ain't really gonna make sense bro so we called it was like a little me and we called you know i'm saying and you know we got together some grown shit and we just knew yo this don't make sense you're there we're here this ain't gonna make sense you know i'm saying so let's just say what we gotta say now everyone get their peace out and let's just you know blow over the squash this keep it calm no one don't have to you know feel like they need to continue anything retaliate revenge we ain't saying we about to be besties but just you do your thing i'll do my thing because this ain't this is not going to make sense thank you i'm saying but then the craziest thing is i'm seeing this same person in in fucking i'm seeing the same person in in house parties bro this place that place that place and then before you know it it's been about a year and a half you know i'm saying and the craziest thing is i'm at one i'm at a party when i'm at this party now bro i clock him come in when he comes in bro it's like a scene out of fucking what's that that's that movie see your god you watch that he's in that bit where he gets shot in the party where he tries to shoot him through so it's like bro imagine this is how much my head is on point i see the kid you it's been a year and a half you know bro we squash the take i see this i see the kid bro when i see him something don't seem right bro my intuition like this is all coming to me bro and i'm and i'm standing there in the place here and something said don't stand here you know i'm saying so i move i stand at a next place i think to myself let me see if this is just my brain playing with me for a second you get what i'm saying so i stand somewhere else i notice i'm kind of move not to where i am you know but it's always in that kind of opposite of where i am you get it so i'm looking over now i'm thinking that's don't seem right so i come out of the place i tell my i tell my peoples yo give me a minute i go out and obviously i i go out and i get what i'm getting do you get what i'm saying now i come back in like i cool you know i'm saying like let's see let's see you know what happens now then so when i go in there bro it's almost like when i've come back in though you know being being from the hood bro i'm not the only one who can clock things you know i'm saying it's almost like it was clocked it was gone he's come back you know i'm saying let's just let's allow it for tonight you know i'm saying but the craziest thing is the next the very next time i saw him bro the very next time yeah we're going we're going to this party mind you this isn't a type of party i would usually go to bro you know i'm saying i don't i don't there's certain type of places i don't go bro and this was like this was one of them bro and imagine i've said to myself if i go there we're only going to go there for a little bit you know i'm saying we're going to pass through there show our faces then we're keeping it moving bro it's like on this night brother went against all my usual things i would do bro like so you know no one no one had anything under you know i'm saying because the car we was in had no insurance so i remember saying to i remember saying yo everybody make sure everyone's just nice and clean because the car's got no insurance ain't gonna make sense there's a good chance we can get pulled you get what i'm saying so it weren't making no sense just moving like that so when we've gone to this place bro it was definitely just to in show your face and come out bro i've got in there yeah man i saw two females bro fucking couple people i knew and i fucking forgot about my whole fucking all my rules and shit bro you got me saying and before i knew it i wrote to it past i see a kidje who i know rose close with him you know i'm saying the kid comes over to me and we're chilling but when we're chilling bro i'm saying in my mind nah you know i'm saying the kid fucks up for about a minute comes back he's talking to me again when he's talking to me bro now everything he really starts kicking in now like yo yo yo listen keep it moving man so i'm saying this to myself so as i decide i you know cool i'm gonna fuck off now keep it moving i'll start walking back towards you know because one way in one way out when i go back towards there bro boom who do i see coming in the same kid dead no one he ain't coming into party bro you know i'm saying like not in that attire you know i'm saying they ain't coming to party bro so when they've come through bro he must have stood it must must have come in about 30 seconds of something bro well he did what he's meant to do to be honest with you bro it's more me who didn't you know i'm saying because i let all my my fucking my guards down bro you know i'm saying whether it was the time frame or whether it was me thinking to myself yo just passing here and in leave or whatever it is bro i was completely off point that night you know i'm saying and that's the very first thing that come in my mind when i got shot was dickhead yo you was off point today you know i'm saying not like i deserved it but like you know that's kind of that's what fucking happens bro when you're off point you know i'm saying so when i'm standing up in the corridor bro you know i just feel i feel my arm getting up back this felt like a fucking bowling ball hit my arm bro like it blew my arm back you know i'm saying so my hands hit the wall and this is before i can kind of figure out what's just happened so my arm hits the wall and i'm like wait there and then you know what i didn't feel the rest of them i just you just i'm just hearing the shots coming towards me you get me this one i completely felt the rest of them not clue bro you know i'm saying so i get out i come out the place now because the way it happened bro it's like everyone started scattering immediately you know i'm saying but i know what's going on no you know i'm saying like i know no no no no it's my man's trying to shoot me you get me so i come out when i dip out now i see someone bro and this person that i see bro they don't even know i've been shot for like they see me and tell a lie before i saw them bro i saw her girl who i didn't know her but i recognized her and i said to her yo give me a lift this girl looked at me and said no bro yo she said no actually but with her i actually told her what happened she looked at me bro and this girl was like nah bro i that blew my mind for a second though because i was like what i thought the moment i said that bro she gave me like yeah jump in you get me but anyway i see another kid that i know though yeah like we know each other well this kid pulls up bro and i say to him yo give me a lift down the road by the hospital but he doesn't know i'm going to the hospital he just says it casual yes come jumping i jump in the car with him bro we go to the hospital and you know i just jump back out bro like it's a normal day yo cool cool cool but mind you i can feel my stomach burning now bro like i thought i got shot this way i thought it come this way and come out my back here but obviously it was sideways you get me so by the time i got to the hospital bro i jumped out i say to the woman yo look don't make a big scene but obviously you know i've been shot very rare yo she made a big scene immediately bro like buzzers going off and all that shit but i was calm though even though it sounds bad bro like i was raw i was cool you know i'm saying because they were all just in and out i discharged myself after like a day or something bro no i was in there for a couple of hours sorry it wasn't a day bro i was in there for a couple of hours to clean up the things and then i was like yo i'm cool you know i'm bouncing i came out of there so fast that when people saw me they were like yo i heard one crazy thing that happened but nah i couldn't have happened though like you know i'm saying they're seeing me bro and because i'm just back out there the very next day bro they're like that couldn't have happened to you just now you get me and for the most part when people were saying that i weren't even correcting them i was just like oh yeah yeah you know i'm saying but these times i did get shot the day before what was that like being back on the road yeah well how does the fuck from being stabbed nine times to then being shot three times it's still a young age are you thinking okay man i need to really change my life here because the man you are but you're 20 stone 21 stone so far i think you're coming after me you're the kind of guy that okay i need to kill him do you not i mean it's not as i i'm not going to take you a square go nobody's going to say right okay well let's go for that straight nah do you know i mean you're too fucking big and too powerful so some days if you've got a problem with someone they've got to be bold enough to fucking into a life nah facts bro and you know you know you know it's funny funny though you know because growing up bro i only got into issues with people who were older than me you know like i always bro i was like 16 getting into getting into things here with people who were like in their 30s 20s and they're finding out how old i am later bro and being like being like what like they feel bad or something like bro i didn't know to me i'm think to me when i was growing up though bro i didn't i didn't give a fuck bro like like when that happened bro like i said when i got stabbed bro that you know certain people stuff happens to them like i got a friend who got shot in his hamstring when we were about 17 he came off the road immediately bro changed his number i didn't give none of us and bro we never heard from him again you get me you can understand dat yeah now it either does that to you bro or i feel like it does the exact opposite makes you more violent you gotta i'm saying bro to me bro i literally had in my head i'll never be that guy bro you know i'm saying like you couldn't you can't do that to me bro you know i'm saying that's why i've always moved in in a certain kind of way i carry myself a certain kind of way you go i'm saying bro how is that for your mum getting shot three times when you see half the next time do you feel disappointment do you feel sad or heartbroken or do you still have that mentality where you don't you kind of block it out i'm way more aware now bro i'm way more aware now and you know my mum my mum is a lot more ill now so it's like i know things will affect her differently now do you know what i'm saying i think all i think us as brothers yeah i think we conscious of that like proper conscious of that bro like we didn't we wasn't thinking about that before bro like you literally talking at stages bro where every single one of her kids yo even my sister you know bro my sister bro you believe me if i tell you my sister's done more jail than me and all my brothers put together bro my sister bro hey long story bro she's been locked up in multiple countries this that bro like she's bro crazy by one stage bro every single one of us were locked do you know what i'm saying dat's just my mum do you know i'm saying bro and because i'm locked somewhere else my brothers locked somewhere else this she's this person's locked there they're locked there we ain't together at no point so everyone's doing their own journey in their mind nobody's thinking of the next person's feelings almost if you get what i'm saying bro because each person's going through it do you get what i'm saying when really it's just some communication that's needed you know i'm saying but a lot of the time bro you find when when you have a family and they're all going through these different things bro people rarely get together and sit down and talk about shit bro you know i'm saying so like i don't think i really understood how my mum was feeling bro until proper recent bro you know i'm saying when i've heard my i've heard my mum whether it's whether we having just certain conversations or even my dad bro because my dad yeah i think he really expected something completely different for us you know to have taken us and brought us over there he definitely wanted us to have a different life yeah did he ever blame himself for letting us come back it's it it's totally changed your life i think so bro you know i'm saying like i said at the start it's not really think like we don't really maybe we should as well but we don't really talk about that stuff too tough you know i'm saying but i feel like um do you all have too much pride kinder to discuss that kind of rooted trauma from the past yeah i think i think it's i think it's i think that's what it is bro i think it's just approaching it that first approach and i'm saying something needs to do i believe that's what i'm saying bro it's that first approach like everyone thinks that they'd be able to talk about what you know this feeling or this thing they've gone through bro it's not always as easy as that though because sometimes when you talk about things bro you realize it highlights certain attributes in yourself that you've gained from those experiences sometimes you like those things sometimes you don't bro do you know i'm saying but it's reality and i feel like a lot of the time bro people don't like realizing who they are you know i'm saying bro i feel people rather avoid the whole topic altogether bro do you know i'm saying then go into it then have to deal with certain things like yo did you do everything you could at that stage like say i know this is one of the things with my dad yeah i know sometimes like he ain't said it but i know bro that in his mind i know he wishes he did a bit more to even to just kind of push us in a different direction or whatever you go i'm saying like i know i know at the time he was probably thinking you know when you got when you got babe mothers and all these things bro sometimes things can just cause you bare stress and hassle i know i know me having kids now bro like i know i can i can look and think to myself okay cool i get i get that angle yeah and i know sometimes the parent you'll think to yourself you know let me step back and just let them carry on and hopefully when they get a certain age i can then just step in and you know kind of take over and make sure they good as their dad well bro that don't work that that shit doesn't work bro because let me tell you something if you ain't around from those younger years bro you miss out the opportunity for the youth to gain respect for you if they don't have respect for you ain't listening to shit you're saying anyway bro you're just another guy so when he's coming back when you're 13 14 you've already made up your decisions so bro when he's talking fam i'm hearing even to know now how i was looking at things when he said it to me then bro now growing up i feel like man that wasn't the right approach like i i completely didn't give a fuck bro he would say something to me i think uh anyway you know i'm saying bro like i remember him saying um about tattoos and i remember thinking all right cool well you don't get a tattoo because i am you get me just little things like that bro like and you don't realize it until afte when you have your own kids and then you realize how that process works you know what i'm saying so with my pups yeah i reckon i reckon he would blame himself a little bit so even know when you had the gun you threw it away somebody stuck in i know you're probably thinking fucking little snitch but when you look at from the other side he could have potentially saved your life because you could have been in prison now for a murder that's a fact that's a fact you know what bro and i've had to come to kind of kind of come to terms with that you know of how to look at this you know i'm saying bro because you see now year now at this age you know i've figured out certain other things or avenues to make money or you know i'm saying bro like more mature in it whether or not you're still capable of certain things bro you're thinking other things too you get what i'm saying so it's like even though i would look at someone like that bro and i'm like yo you fucking piece of shit like i can't fucking believe you did that bro like brother you just you the fuck you know i'm saying even though i'm looking at it like that bro it's like in my mind though it's exactly what you said knowing how i was moving bro knowing wat i was doing what i did did you get what i'm saying like it could easily have been that do you know what i'm saying it could easily have been uh yo you know he ain't not not your welcome home gorilla you know i'm saying it would have been uh yo free free gorilla man 10 years later 15 years later you know i'm saying bro so in that sense bro i'm like you know what you know you didn't do too bad you're fucking pretty you know i'm saying bro as you know what i'm saying but trust me bro it's um it's it's it's it's it's been a mad journey though bro because see my brother i don't think my brother though he realizes how much of an influence he's had though you know because you know really bro really bro if my bro had me around him my older brother had me around him and he said hey fucking you're going to be a cricket player now bro and bro i'd have played cricket fun do you know what i'm saying you look up to your brother like bro i did everything he did but you know what we spoke about this year's later the reflection of him yeah like like really bro everything i did is like things he did but like pushed it a bit more you know what i'm saying so like even bro even me being this size right now i went gym because i saw my brother go gym do you know what i'm saying to you like it's the only differences are kind of you know i mean he made music before i made music bro he stopped i just do you know what i'm saying bro enough of the enough of the things we do bro i watched him do you know what i'm saying and then i kind of just took to another level like you know what when i saw when my brother was on the road bro like doing what he was doing making his name bro you know i i tell you wat they changed changed everything for me bro i've said i'm you know i'm in my i'm in my bedroom bro playing with some fucking toys and that you know i'm saying living in handsworth the door the door flies open my bedroom door is my brother but he's got fucking blood all over him and this guy's like yo he's talking about fucking he's just left these uh fucking hammering someone's head bro and i'm like well i'm a i'm a kid with my toys and that like wait what but then i'm seeing this blood all over him bro and i'm looking in his face bro and he looks shocked himself you get me and when he's told me what happened and why it happened i remember thinking oh yeah cool you know what i'm saying bro but i don't think that's what you're supposed to be thinking at the majors though you know i'm saying like and i literally remember thinking oh no that's blessed still man because obviously you said he tried that with you first though right oh yeah and then you fucking put the hammer in his head all right cool you know i'm saying and my mind bro it just kept developing like that you see you see there's several occasions where i saw my brother bro like get into it with someone you get me and it's like what i was saying before that made me feel like bro like yo i have to hurry up and step out and when i'm stepping out i have to step out bro like with seriousness you know i'm saying now i know joke things to make anyone feel like you know we play games around here like nah we don't play games and if you if you mess with anyone that's in this circle bro you can have the issue you know i'm saying and we always moved like that you know i'm saying you you knew bro you do something to this person over here that's about to be long because it's not just to this person bro this is like i said i come from a big family and it wasn't just a big family bro it was like a a big family of many people who was on it though you know i'm saying bro like each person individually could be their own fucking character bro if you get what i'm saying and then as a collective bro it just looks mad and you know what bro loads of the times here we got labeled like yo this gang that gang when really we were just like a bunch of cousins do you know i'm saying bro really we were just a big family bro but we're like a dominant family on the ends you know i'm saying what was it like being in prison when you get the door lock behind you you get your cell door shut for the first time down your five after being stabbed after being shot was ever a realisation to think fuck me my life's going wrong here yeah one point but you believe me if i told you though bro that when i went to jail i felt like all right it was about time i gone jail that's i remembered thinking that you know bro like i remember thinking it was about time i went upset like i was cool bro and then if anything i tell you i tell you what there was like a scenario that happened i think i spoke to my kid i spoke to my son yeah and that's more when being in jail hit home you know i'm saying like i spoke to my son at the time bro he was like one and i spoke to him and i remembered i remember that that hit me you know what i'm saying because i was like yo i felt like i failed him fuck everyone else do you know what i'm saying i felt like yo this kid is here now and he's about to grow up you know what i'm saying at this time i don't know what sentence i'm getting do you know what i'm saying so i'm just thinking yo i failed this kid you get me but um when i was in there bro you know every time they walked past you know with the keys walked past my cell bro i was on the i was on the bottom floor up first because i went on to i was in winstein gringer so when i got into winstein green jail bro i was like i was already unknown someone you get me so when i've gone into the jail bro the screws in winstein green ain't ain't stupid they know who's who and what's going on you know what i'm saying they hire a lot more local people than you think if that makes sense yeah you get me so they know they're in and out bro so as soon as i gone there i was cool and i've gone on to the induction wing you're usually there for a while like a week or two but i was only there for a day you don't want to be an induction wing it's fucked you know what i'm saying so they rightfully so new to come in just take me straight after put me straight on to the new side of the wing when i got on to that new side of the wing bro i'll be honest with you my jail experience wasn't like many peoples though bro my shit was pretty nice bro yeah i can honestly say i know that other people like and i know this is the thing whenever you know someone goes jail and they want to look like this someone they turn around it like yeah man i had it like this in jail or it was like this or whatever and i'm think you know nine times i attend you think yourself if you've been jailed before bro everybody can't have it like that someone's chatting shit you know i'm saying bro in my case though anyone who was luck with me bro which would have been lots of people you get me they'll tell you the same thing bro like i've gone in there and i had it kind of cushy bro mind you my brother that's a year older than me was in it the same time as me but he had had no tell her like he was in jail year and then by the time i had gone jail he came out of jail but before i finished my sentence in jail he had gone back in jail so i didn't actually see my brother that's a year older than me for like years bro like straight years fan like three three about eight years did anybody try and test you inside man i'll tell you a funny story bro oh man so check this out yeah bro there was a kid here this geezer was this geezer was older than us he rolled with some older man from the ends as well so even though i didn't know him because i knew the circle he ran with and you know we had kind of respect for that circle i knew what circle he ran with so not that i'm giving him that respect per se but it's like you know that extended respect kind of thing you know what i mean bro so you know if you know if i'm on the extra piece of chicken or something you might be like i gone to deeting you know what i'm saying i'm standing up now now this is the thing when i was in jail bro when i'm in jail i was cool bro like i was super cool just don't take the piss over and down cool though innit you know what i'm saying you want to borrow something you know because i was wanting people and my cells always nice and i always got shit and cd's or whatever it is bro so people would come to borrow shit so this kid now bro mind you whenever anyone comes to me they ask me nice and polite and then they get the thing and then you know have it forever long you want then you know just return it cool well this geezer comes over bro i'm standing up and i'm talking to someone first of all he interrupts me so actually it's rude from the beginning you get me then as i'm talking bro my man's like see he ain't asking me if you can borrow cd he's like telling me he's going to come for the cd get me so i'm thinking am i hearing this correct so i think to myself let me give him the benefit of the doubt i call him in this cell i say yo um you know you was just saying this to me like that bro like that sound sounded mad you know fam you need like trust me because that can come off like but i'm properly trying to explain myself to this kid you know as i'm trying to explain it to yo this guy is getting more and more attitude bro and i'm thinking to my head i'm thinking to myself what like we're just me and you in a cell you know bro you're giving me more attitude so this geezer is giving this attitude and i say yo bro all right cool but explain to him how to ask next time you get me i go outside bro i swear to god the geezer does the exact same thing again he does the exact same thing immediately bro man bro the open palm slap i gave this geezer in his face bro sent him straight across the landing and you know it's funny because he started walking back bro like yo yo you know what was that for it's like in his mind though he couldn't understand bro the cheek that you just came with bro and i just explained something to you then you just come in front of people again bro like like i'm somebody to be taught to like that in front of everyone you know i'm saying anyway my next boy now though is fucking fucked him up bro but imagine it was really bro in jail just that occasion and one other occasion bro because my whole remember what i'm saying to you my jail time bro was very very smooth like i went into jail bro of knowing to myself my brother had a hard time because he did shit just long bro you know he just didn't he didn't do it in the right way bro you know there's a way to move he did it wrong you know i'm saying bro so bro he ended up getting like an extra year on top of he said he did way longer than he was supposed to bro you get me so he fucked up so i said to myself i ain't doing that so i was like jim audley straight away bro like as in the gym i'm fucking i'm out my cell all the time bro like i'm able to do what i'm doing even with the fucking even with parcels and shit bro like i'm able to do what i'm doing and maneuver how i want to maneuver because i put myself in a certain position in the jail if you get what i'm saying so i could go where i'm going do what i'm doing and i had the easy fucking time bro i'll be roger what was it like coming out we deciding okay i've got a son now i've missed a few years it's time to really fucking get my shit together are you thinking you still have that mentality where you couldn't give a fuck coming out it was a bit different bro because i came out with a plan what was the plan to get me i came out with a plan yeah it was like um there's on some music shit put team together do some stuff make some moves and for the most part that's what happened to get me but then um you know sometimes bro you try to put on the wrong people and they don't appreciate the things or the sacrifices you just made for them or the money you put into something so it kind of ended up breaking down but i've still got it going on now but at that time when i came out bro like man i put i i i i i partnered matter and i do and i know how the time working different artist this this and this if you watch you know what bro so when i've come out i've worked with a couple people you know what i've worked with fucking uh why io kyke k chuk and i got music video in him right now when i Ja, wat is het called? Wat is het called? K-Coke Wat is het called bro? I love K-Coke You know what, I can't remember what it's called, type in both of our names before it comes up Cause you know, that's what I'm saying bro And I linked them here, I did that with them a while ago bro Like, because this is the thing here A lot of these, you know People used to look at me as like a musician A rapper But the craziest thing is bro I was never like rapping like that People used to make the tunes and put them out So you know someone might make 30 tunes 40 tunes and only put out 2 or whatever Well if I made 7 I would put them all out So even though you've made 30 I've only done 7, all my 7 are out And you've still got yours somewhere So then it looked like I was putting out more stuff than people Then it looked like I was a musician If that makes sense bro So when I'm coming down And I'm doing these collabs with like K-Coke Like Wiley's in my house bro You know what I'm saying People are thinking to themselves like I must be on this mad music journey When in real life bro These are actually just people I know These are people where I like know them So like for example you just said K-Coke Shout out Koke and fucking big French as well You get me My guys Basically When he got signed to Rot Nation bro Back in the day You know before he got signed I remember telling people Yo he's about to get signed you know And this is the craziest thing bro Like They got one studio it was called The Chocolate Lab or something like that Down in London And I used to go there to record with them With like Joe Black And a couple of them And when I used to go there now This one occasion I didn't go there to record I just went there to link them and get some mixes done And some shit like that But there was a geezer he's told me yo come and link him He's just in a meeting real quick When I got to the meeting bro It was the guy from the fucking label or whatever bro And he was talking to him So imagine I'm there in the meeting bro So I hear the numbers that they saying And the dates and the name of the label Bro I'm sitting there thinking Wait what I'm thinking what the fuck am I hearing Like you know what I'm saying But he's talking to the guy all normal Matter of fact yo He's actually putting pressure on the guy bro Like the guy saying numbers to him bro He's mad his fingers They offered this amount So Yo the geezers jumbled up a couple of things Like nah nah nah I'm sure we can figure that back out So this is why like that's not a word of mouth Like I saw that bro You know what I'm saying And you know it's cause of things like this Bro why people would just They always used to look and think yo man Music guy, you know he does road But you know he's on the music Like I wish it like that bro Like I'd be there in those type of moments Or around certain people Like if you go on my instagram Like now bro couple posts down When I was with like Burnaboy And Mr.Norda and we in Portugal You get me g-rella 365 So even shit like that bro Like in that picture you'll see like me Ross the one who's got that body True now with Tian Wayne that's going crazy Like we're all there bro I've never I've never just I've never been on it properly bro Because I feel like When I was doing it bro So check this My space days What would that be in 2000 Six of some shit About them times So I make my first tune bro I've never made music I make my first tune This is after I get stabbed It's kind of a tune like Saying like yo I've come back And all that type of shit I put the video on my my space When I put them on my space bro I get DM'd pretty much straight away By one brother called Q-Diz From London as well from South My man, when he hollers me now You know He phones me And straight away he asks me Two questions that ain't nothing to do with music Some street shit You know similar So once we clarified That bro was certified With He said to me yo can you come down next week So I was like cool So a couple hours go by And he phones me back And he's like yo I fucked that date up Can you come down tomorrow And I'm thinking in my head I ain't ever met this geezer before I don't know fuck all about any of this Bro I swear down I'm thinking You know we went down there like that as well bro You know what I'm saying We went down there bro Ready for that You get what I'm saying It's funny now and I look back bro Yeah we went down there very ready bro And then I remember We went to unit 10 Yeah And mind you at the time I've never heard of this studio and nothing at the time I'm just from Hansworth I'm just thinking yo Unit 10 come then let's go Now I've gone there bro mind you I don't make music all the time like that I just made this one video So when I go there now bro I'm on the phone to him like yo I'm strong here You know what I'm saying So he's pulling up in the car bro And as he's pulling up I see He's with gigs So this is when gigs has that Talking the hardest tune out When the thing that made him blow I'm looking now bro And I'm like So I immediately take him serious Because wait there you with gigs bro He gave me just you two in the car rolling So I'm like mad He comes out bro We're going to the studio And bro it's nothing but brand name artists at the time Like these artists at that time Were the biggest ones See he had like Gunna D Cashtastic He had like face squeeze Or I'm not switch played He had like Youngster at the time He had fucking I can't remember All the names that were there bro All these names I'm saying These were big names at the time bro So these are people I used to listen to their music bro So I'm just straight away like Bro So check this out That's why it always just Looked like I was in that game Because then I would leave from London I'd go back to Hansworth bro I'm back in Hansworth I'm back on the ends I'm back doing what I'm doing bro And then it would be another couple days later A week or two and I'd get the phone call again Come down to London I'd fly down to London bro And then I'd do some more shit He would introduce me again to some more people So solid this man And I ended up just doing stuff So every time I'm coming down bro He's putting me with someone else I had one label called the ghetto superstars That's where I first knew Stormzy from So you must have some talent then To be getting introduced to these guys That's what I'm saying bro So what happened then do you not I just wasn't taking it as serious as these guys So He used to Push a lot of us bro But one of the people was Stormzy So Stormzy ends up doing his thing though But imagine this though I go to jail 2.14 That tune comes out Where he's talking about Big Mikey or whatever Mind you I'm in jail hearing this I haven't seen no visual I'm just hearing this on the radio So it must be about 2.15 or 16 When I end up in Decat So we're in the dorm and there's a big screen I think it's the mobile awards So I'm watching this shit now Because I'm just seeing this couple man from the hood I'm thinking this is crazy bro And then I'm on stage bro And I'm like I said bro But I'm trying to expect these guys I'm trying to make them know We would the fuck But then I spoke to Q again when I'm in jail And he's like yo trust me We're going to sort some shit out But he ends up getting deported before I even come out Does that not make you look at things then And think fuck could have been me Could have made me not be here There's another guy here from Liverpool Trems And he's doing his thing Blown as well He was on the same label bro There's this couple people bro Who have gone clear and they started on the same thing The only difference with me bro is All that stuff that I was saying That's really what it was So like I wish I could have been one of them kids bro Where I'm in studio every day instead But that's not what my life was bro He feels like he has something to prove You know what I'm saying But he's psyching my mind in the background I knew I had this talent But then I'm around people These people around me ain't pushing my talent The people around me first of all Don't give a fuck about my talent bro You know what I'm saying We just care about what we can do out here You know what I'm saying That music shit's cool But you know You know what I'm saying bro You kind of dim my vision too That's what happened bro If you've got vision and you speak it to someone Because they can't see the vision They speak you out Then you go fuck that That is exactly what happened bro When you look at their lives and their lives are still fucked You know what I'm saying bro Cause you know you imagine this bro I was the first guy from Broom Unlike all of these London Channels And medias and all this I told this day bro I have good relationships with all these people Like link up tv Or whoever it is bro I've got good relationships like that guy might be on a million views But I can call his phone though You can't You know what I'm saying though Because like I really knew these people Way before hand bro Before they had these companies Or these names that are fucking Celebrity type now I already knew them You know what I'm saying bro To go through the crime ladder It's just like focusing on something else The tools and techniques are the exact same It's just consistency to keep raising the bar And keep pushing and keep believing Which is key to believe That's the main key So going forward with your life then What's your plans For me now bro The way I see it is like this I'd be lying if I said one of these people Where I go around and I'm trying to Tell everyone yo put the knives down Put the guns down because A lot of scenarios bro They deepen in that Like I said you can't just tell Bro if you had a brother that had been killed I can't tell you just put that down straight away like that And expect you to go oh cool It's a deeper conversation in that And each one's individual So I'd be trying shit if I came out here Saying I'm trying to be one of them guys I ain't trying to be that bro But what I am trying to do though Met people understand me though You know what I'm saying bro And like you said if a person can hear something And take something from them And say they swear you did that and it went left like that Alright cool maybe I can do that A bit different than all You know what I'm saying bro I don't really have an interest in Trying to beat the kids over The head with that stick You know that one you hear everybody say bro The kids are fucking stupid You know what I'm saying You need to give the youth respect first of all You know what I'm saying But I feel like it's more beneficial bro To come out with a way For them to have some shit to do You know what I'm saying To put their focus there bro Rather than to give lectures 24-7 They ain't going to do nothing bro Like I remember how my brain was at that age bro You know what I'm saying I've heard that shit bro And you know the worst thing about it Most of the people bro Trying to really push that You don't have no respect in the hood bro So your word ain't going to go anywhere But to those organisations And those other industry people It's not going to actually hit the street You know what I'm saying So I feel like loads of the time When people are doing that anyway bro They have to come at that differently Because otherwise if you're a kid from You're younger it just comes across disrespectful bro What's all your social media platforms So I think everything is the same My snap My Insta Because bro you need to bear with me I've only just started Properly bro So my Instagram now That's kind of building fast I'll leave the links in the description anyway So my Insta's building fast Snapping that I'm just getting used to Yo this idea of walking round brother And every second this is what I'm doing That shit seems too deep into my life bro Like it's a bit But G-Riller 365 You'll get me on all my platforms bro You get me I swear down bro It's been a mad journey bro I'd be lying you I'd never be able to put my whole thing into one sitting Because even like when I just think of Little stories in that bro I could just break down It would sound like an action film bro You know what I'm saying though Sound like an action film bro But hopefully though This is the first of many though bro You know what I'm saying This is almost like an introduction To the rest of shit that I'm going to show You get what I'm saying bro For anybody watching It's me being through a battle It's me being stabbed short And feel as if they need to get vengeance Or retaliate What advice would you have for them In the life of crime whatever You know what bro Your winning is the best revenge You know bro You know what bro I'd just say Winning is the best bro You see when you're winning fam See when you're winning See like when you put your focus bro Just winning You'd be surprised what happens you know bro You know what I'm saying Winning bro All those over folks bro You'll see them fall off one by one Anyway And all that will happen is You've won Well they're all just falling off anyway bro You get what I'm saying trust me bro You don't have to go down the same routes like I went down To get shit done That I believe bro I'm 31 I feel like I'm fucking Bro I've been through so many fucking battles in that bro Like trust me bro Like When people speak about saying things Even when I hear them describing things bro I know the difference between someone who's been through something you ain't bro Like I hear them just describing something bro Like that's some real shit you know what he's on about Or you don't know what the fuck you're talking about bro There's no way you describe that like that You know what I'm saying But you're clearly here for a reason biggin You're clearly here for a reason in some kind of not nine lies But fucking 59 Those things you can then help To then don't make the same mistakes you've done You then get the success story Get in about the music Help people produce music do whatever you can To show that people can change And that's the beauty of life that anybody can change And this is the thing man Me and um you know I was contacted by My friend of mine to start up Like a management label You get what I'm saying And to me it makes sense because You know the amount of utes and that I know on the ends bro And these are utes who will listen when I'm talking You know what I'm saying bro But these are some talented fucking utes You know what I'm saying But I can see everything happening to them bro that happened to me I can see literally all of their talents bro Just going down the drain Because they're chasing certain amounts But this thing they're chasing bro Isn't going to go As they think bro You know what I'm saying And it's like these wasted opportunities that I'm just seeing So when this kid shouted me the other day bro About this I was like yo I'm down You know what I'm saying We saw it now this week to be fair Like I got a new media platform That's being launched The G network You get me, that's going to That's going to give loads of opportunity bro But see what it is for me Like I said it's that opportunities thing bro It's listening to what I'm saying Without me sounding like I'm trying to fucking Lecture And Tell you I know more about your life Than you do and telling you how to run your shit I ain't doing that I'm not looking to do that bro But like you said if I can break down What I've been through bro How I got snaked How me doing this landed me here Then took away these years Or you know what I'm saying bro I feel like that's a better way To make someone hear something and You get what I'm saying Say looked up to that person or something It's much easier for me to take the information When I'm just listening to their story How do you feel telling your story today To be fair bro I feel like Like I said this is just an introduction bro Introduction Touching on a couple of topics My ting bro Goes much further and much more deeper bro Like I said if I tried to do all of that bro In one sitting It would seem like I was forcing too much into one thing You get me I guarantee you bro The next time I go to sit down with you bro You see It won't be a case of me having to break down Where I've already broken down now I could just go I'd be able to just go straight into it You know what I'm saying Into the nitty gritty if that makes sense So you can see what I'm talking about Because right now You know Today it was important to make Even yourself bro Just understand just me Like how my mind has even started to move How it does or how I see scenario You know what I'm saying bro So that there's more context to when I'm speaking How that had come in bro and I just jumped straight into it It's going to sound like I'm just gassing and talking shit When really it's like now bro There's a lot of pain to this bro Of course man but that's where the success will come If you keep pushing through But if you're coming on and then telling your story I'm about to further enjoy that story You're a good guy Hopefully this is as you say the introduction Of more to coming I hope to see you everywhere Bro Nice man Check out more of my podcasts on the right And be sure to like share And comment your thoughts on this week's podcast Thank you