 What are you going to do for me? I need a pee. A pee. A pee. A pee. Always take out all of this. Yay! What? I just felt bad. I felt bad. Okay. Woo! To another wine spill video, it's been a while. The last one was for our 30th birthday. So 2020, you said 2021 on your story. Yes, end of 2021. Okay. Since it's wine spill, we can't forget about the wine. And we have this really nice bottle that our friend got for us, our friend at Pisces. He's the owner of Pisces. Yes, he is. Thank you. And we've been saving this for our wine spill today. So let's do it. Are you ready? I'm ready. All right. Here's yours. First pour. Good, too. We got a... Smells good. Oh yeah. This first. Condition stick. Cheers. Hangover cure. This is the tattoo. So plum. Yummy. Not sponsored. Thank you. Of course. Cheers. Cheers. It's good. Oh. The first question is, I guess it's work related, but they asked, what do you think of the influencer scene in Korea, like foreign and Korean scenes, and how hard is it keeping up with influencer life? Oh. Ashley, we're not talking about work in this episode today. What the hell? Lationships off our wine nights? No, we're not. Okay, fine. We're going to only talk about the juicy stuff, because my video was professional. If you want to see work related content, you guys can watch Joan's video. Yeah. We're not talking about that here. This is Valentine's Day. After Valentine's Day, we have wine, we have heart shaped chocolates in front of us. We are not talking about work. Okay. Okay. Okay. First question then. Have you ever considered freezing your eggs to have a baby in the future? Oh. I didn't. Really? Well, I don't want, well, I don't know. Wow. This is, this is kind of nerve wracking. If I say this on camera, I haven't thought about like kids yet. So I know, and I know that people will say freeze eggs because you don't know how you'll feel like, but I don't know. I know my, a lot of my friends tell me that I should, but I'm like, oh, I mean, for me, kids, I don't really think about it yet. So no, I haven't. Yeah. How about you? Same. Well, I don't really know too much about it to begin with. And I don't have anyone around me who has done it. Oh, okay. Maybe some people in America might have done it. I don't think it's like a serious like topic amongst our group of friends as well. But every time I go to the States, it's definitely a topic that comes up every time I'm having dinner with like my friends, a lot of my friends have. So they're like, Joan, you have to, and I'm like, oh, well, I don't, I don't, I don't know. Yeah. I think this is a very personal thing. So, wow, it got, it got pretty like, Ashley, I know we started off with this very serious question. Why would you start with this question? No, no, no. I don't know. I mean, not to offend anyone, but I mean, if it's for you, if that's something you're interested in, like, that's your choice, I think. But personally for me, I haven't really thought about it. Yeah. Same. I'm sick and tired of situationships. Any advice? Oh, that's so funny. I feel like my entire life is just situationships. I've never had a situationship. Have you? I have. You have. Just once. Just one. How convenient. Just once. It's so much like, it's a lot of stress to have situationships because I mean, I think you and I are both quite emotional, so like it's too much emotional damage. Yeah. I admit it was a little exciting in the beginning. There is that kind of excitement and mystery and not knowing what we really are, and there's no responsibility, right, because there's no commitment. But I realized after that situation, I'm someone who does need commitment and does want commitment from the other person as well. And I'm not the person to be in a light relationship, so I'm glad because it helped me realize. True, true, true. I don't know why I fall into this category each time, because I don't like wasting my time either, but it just happens to be that way, right? You know this. Yeah. But I think it's also because I'm way too hyper-independent. I don't know how to be taken care of, so when someone's nice to me, I don't even know. When Ashley said, oh, I got you this back brace, I was like, oh my gosh, that's so sweet. It was for our posture, and I was like, you thought of what I said, I don't know how to receive anything. So for me, a relationship is kind of tough because I don't know how to be dependent on anyone. I haven't been dependent on anybody in my life, like maybe my mom, but now it's the opposite. My mom is quite dependent on me, so like, I don't know how. And I'm a firstborn. I mean, I'm a firstborn. She's true. But I saw somewhere on the internet about how firstborn daughters are extremely hard to date, because there was something about that, because we're way too hyper-independent. Wait, so any advice for situations? Any advice for situations, just have fun, I guess. No, really. That's the whole point of situationships, and if you want to get serious, if one person wants to get serious, you have to just have that talk. What advice can you give to situationships? You're sick of it. You don't want to be in a situation, you want to be in a serious relationship. When you're meeting someone, let them know from the beginning that you're not looking for something serious, and if they are too, then they'll stick around and it can evolve and grow, and if they're not, then you won't be heartbroken because from the beginning they'll be like, okay, this is not what I'm looking for. They'll be like, okay, then let's not do this. Oh my gosh. What? This looks really good. Oh my god, I thought you had some like tea to spill. I don't have tea to spill. We get to friendship questions, right? No, we're only talking about relationships. 17 minutes, and we didn't even get to the real tea yet. Dude, I feel it coming up already. You know why? Because I want my period. No, it's because you're excited. I'm excited? Everyone wanted to know, are you guys dating? Do you have any special someone in your life? Are you guys in a relationship? Oh, okay, yeah. There are a lot of questions. Okay. So, I am dating. She has been. I have been. For how long? For over four years. Oh my gosh, really? I didn't know. I think because I started as an idol, I was kind of scared that my fans would be disappointed, feeling guilty because you know, since you're young, you're always like idols shouldn't date or whatever. Like you have to focus on work, blah, blah, blah. And also, I guess because I put a lot of my life out there through vlogs and everything else kind of wanted to keep it a little, like my own little secret, you know, little secret. But the reason why I am like sharing it now is because I'm going to move in with him soon, so that's like another huge change that's happening. I'm like, I'm going to continue YouTube. So if we live together, it's going to be obvious that there's someone else that I'm living with. You're living with someone. I feel comfortable enough to speak about it now and I do like think about my future with this person. So, yeah. Oh my gosh. I'm just imagining like in an upcoming vlog and he like just, you know, even like his voice or I don't know. He's really funny. So. So cute. I'm not dating. So there was like the extreme contrast, but she has and I've seen that relationship blossom. We watched. She was there from the very beginning through all the drama, the tears. All the drama. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen it blossom to what it is today. So we want a boyfriend tag. Tears down the road. Next, Winesville is not with me. Oh no. Or less pressure to find a romantic life partner as you get older, being single in your thirties. I think a lot of people have questions about this because everyone, like a lot of my friends who are married, they also wanted to get married before they turned 30. Were you like this at all? I mean, when I was younger, I wanted to get married at 26. Me too. 27 for me. Yeah. So I think since we're both single and not married, single meaning not married, do you feel pressured about that? No. Really? Interesting. Because I do. I know. Who gives you pressure? Oh my God. Everybody. Everyone gives pressure. Even in my twenties, I wanted to get married. Like I still did want to get married before thirties. And when I turned 30, I'm like, am I going to be this way forever? So that idea kind of does scare me. And then all the upperclassmen or all the people who are older than me would be like, oh, like you have like a biological clock, like you have like a certain time. And so for me, hearing all of this and not dating is extremely, like it's a lot of pressure because, you know, there's not someone I can kind of be like, okay, like it doesn't, none of this matters because I'm in love and I, you know, like I could depend on this person. I don't even have that. So there are moments where I'm like, oh, like I am way too single for my own good. Like that kind of stuff does pressure me. But I think like it helps that my parents are not the ones pressuring me. Because in the beginning, when I first moved to Korea, my mom were like, my mom would be like, do you want to like sunbogushpo? Blind date. Blind date. Oh my gosh. I was so against it. I got in a heated argument with my mom about this and ever since then, she hasn't like brought it up. I think we'll too, because my parents aren't like, what's the rush? Probably because they got married so early. Oh yeah. Yeah, they got married when they were 23. They didn't have anything. So they know how hard it is. I mean, they do know that we do have plans on marriage, but with kids too, they're just like, I don't care if I'm a grandpa or grandma or not. Or maybe that's what they say now because they're still kind of young. Who knows. But they're like, you don't have to have kids. So thankfully, I'm not pressured at all. I'm 32 now, about to be 33 end of the year. Yeah. Who knows what's going to happen? Yeah, you never know. You never know. That's the crazy thing. That's true. They wanted to know how we keep the spark alive in our friendship. I think doing new things together, like traveling when we went to Tokyo together, that was definitely something that is different from our usual, you know, house. Hangouts. Because we usually just drink wine. I mean, which is always a fun time. Yes, it's a lot. Actually, you and I, like, I feel like we're very, like, low maintenance. Low maintenance brand. Like, we don't have to, oh yeah, oh no, we're both very high maintenance. Me? Yes. Oh my God, look at your outfit of mine today. Your high maintenance today, I'm very low maintenance. And also, we don't have to, like, go to the best restaurant, go to the best, like, cafes. Sometimes we literally just go to the most, like, whatever. We love tteokbokki. We like tteokbokki. We like 4,000 won tteokbokki. Yeah. Wait, girl, I know you like me, but you're supposed to be over here. Am I? Come over here. This camera. Your wine glass is over here. This is wine spill. We got to drink wine. It's getting hot in here. Is it? No, it's okay. It's okay. Okay, it's wine. Anyways, yeah, so, trying to do new stuff together, sometimes we do, I mean, it's been a while, but we say, like, let's do a date and I, like, dress up and then go somewhere nice. So cute. Yeah. So I do think you have to make an effort. You check up on me a lot, which is very nice. I think I'm really bad at reaching out though. Oh my gosh, you're so good at reaching out. Out of everyone, you're, like, really good. No, you're good. I call you. Yeah, I don't call because, like, you FaceTime me a lot, like, randomly, and you just, like, call me or ask me, like, how are you feeling today or whatever, and every time I'm like, dang, she checks up on me. I should do that. But I only check up on you like that because you check up on me. That's true though, because I don't do this to everyone. I really don't. I wish I could just casually randomly FaceTime you and stuff, because I'm always, I'm like this with everyone. Why? I'm like, oh my god, like, I don't want to catch them at a bad time. What if I'm, like, distracting them? I don't care. Even if I'm on the toilet, I'll be like, I'm on the toilet, let me call you back in a little bit. I think too much. What? FaceTime. But, like, message is fine. I'll just, like, always message my friends, but FaceTime or, like, I don't know, like, calling. I'm like, what if they're busy? I just, I don't think I'm a big, like, FaceTime person. Really? I am a big FaceTime person for, like, I don't know why. I think it gives me a little anxiety. I like FaceTime me more than calling. You don't mind that, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like it when other people call me, but it's just I get shy to, like, call someone else. Oh my gosh. Are you a texter or are you a caller? What do you prefer more? Okay, rank, text, call, FaceTime. Okay. Okay, text is last because so many things get misunderstood through text. Yes. And I'm not the most friendly texter. I don't put a lot of emojis. Oh my gosh, Ashley, though, you, you, in the beginning, when I first met you, you were an emoji person. I know, but now I'm just so lazy. I'm just like, yeah, okay, yeah, I'm on my way. Talk to you soon. Talk to you soon. Be there soon. But I don't mean it like that. I know. I'm in a rush. I just want to respond as soon as possible. That's why I'm like, okay, okay, okay. But, you know, in actuality, it's kind of like, okay, I'll see you soon. Bye-bye. But my text sounds like, okay, bye-bye. I'll see you soon. True. I guess FaceTime and then call. Okay. Call is number one. All right. So it's really important to have, like, cozy, just really comfortable nights at home. But it's nice to do something, like, just as if you were dating, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to have chill moments at home just watching Netflix, getting takeout. But there are going to be days when you dress up and go somewhere special. Like, it should be the same way for friendships, too. And, like, both sides should be making an effort. Yes. Yeah. Do you think there is an easy way to end a friendship without it looking like a high school drama? Oh, my gosh. So I feel like even if you try to be mature about it and talk to them and just be like, I don't think this is working out. Yeah. Whoever is on the receiving end of that is going to be bitter. Aren't they? Like, yeah. But isn't that better than ghosting? Oh, yeah. Way better than ghosting. I've done that before. Like, I've broken up with a friend before. Uh-huh. Is that fucked up? No. It's tough for me because I treat every friendship like a relationship. So, like, I kind of expect every friendship to be reciprocated to me. So if a friend doesn't kind of give the same energy that I do, I get really butthurt. I really get butthurt. And I, like, don't know how to confront people because, like, so there's like a tick talk about like, oh, I don't need a boyfriend. I have my best friend. But my best friend has a boyfriend. Do you know that one? No. Oh, my gosh. There's like a tick talk about that. And I was like, oh, that's so me, like, most of the time. I'm too single for my own good. But I don't know. Maybe, like, that will be different if I'm, like, in a relationship and, like, I have friends. I'm grateful because, Ashley, you're very good at, like, friendship-relationship balance. A lot of my friends are not good at that. A lot of them are not. I think my married friends are good because they want to get out of the house. But, do you know what I mean? She's very good at balancing. That is something I think Ashley should make a specific video on about. Because I think, like, you do it the best. Like, yeah, for a person who's not married. We also have friends who are, like, once they get into a relationship, it's like, you do not see them. You do not hear from them. Nope. They're gone. Cough, cough. Also in our group chat, the most talkative person once they get into a relationship. They're just, like, M-I-A. They're our friends in our group chat. Keep the same energy. Exactly. Like, all of a sudden, this person's, like, texting our group chat. We're like, they're single. Did you break up? No, we say it. We, like, we throw them under the bus. We're like, are you freaking single again? And then, like, one week later, no energy. We're close enough to call them out in those scenarios, which I'm grateful for. Yeah. And they f***ing know it. Yes, they know it. They know it. So funny. Okay, cheers. I'm going to finish this bottle. This is so fun. Are you feeling tipsy at all? No. I'm not on my menstrual cycle. Don't break off the friendship, but move them to the acquaintance. Let's say I was friends with this person, and I'm like, oh, this person doesn't feel like a friend to me, so I'm going to move this person as, like, an acquaintance priority. Oh, my gosh, this sounds very f***ed up. But, like, if I were to do that, but let's say the person on the receiving side made an effort to come back. I'm not going to be like, f*** you. I'm going to be like, oh, my gosh, thank you. Like, I would be able to confront this person. Do you know what I mean? For me, I think I just, like, slowly kind of distance myself. Yeah. I don't say straight out, like, let's stop being friends, because I guess, like, I don't want to stop being completely friends. If you ever distance yourself, I'm based on you every day. I'm like, hey, hey, hey, hey. 24-7. I'm like, wait. Do you ever plan on moving back to U.S.? Oh, my gosh. You go first. I'm going to eat this one. For me, I can't really imagine myself living in U.S. anymore. I feel like Korea is very comfortable for me now. And I've actually been living in Korea longer than I've lived in the States, because I lived in Korea until I was nine, and then I lived here from when I was 20 until now. So I've only lived in the States for 11 years. And, like, healthcare here is much more affordable and easy. It's a very convenient place to be. It is. But then also, when I think of the future and, like, kids, I do get a little concerned. But that's not my life right now. That's not, like, present for me. So I'm trying not to think about that. I do eventually want to go back. And honestly, in 2020, I was planning on moving back to the States. But COVID happened. I just never know with life. So I'm just kind of, like, waiting it out and seeing when the best time is. But I do want to move back. I feel there's pressure, but no pressure at the same time every time I'm there. I really like my friends there. Not, like, I like my friends here, too. Of course you do. Yeah, of course I do. I don't know. Maybe it can happen in the near future. But I'm scared because I did build, like, a very... Like, my 20s was spent in Korea. And the idea scares me. But I think moving back to the States, whether it's LA or New York, I think that alone will be, like, a big risk. Yeah. That will be upcoming for me. I also can't date Korean men. Like Korean, Korean. Korean men. So that limits a lot. Yeah, and all the English speakers are, like, my friends. So I'm like, no. No, no, no. Worst thing your ex has done? Spill. Spill? Spill. Oh, my gosh, this person. It was a long situation for, like, a few months for sure. And this person ghosted me. Mm-hmm. And started dating one of my friends. That's kind of, like, shitty. Yeah. Wait, what? Who? You know. You know. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. With a friend. Yeah. Yeah. That was kind of bad. How about you? Um, the worst thing, I think, like, in hindsight, I didn't know back then, but I think after I broke up, I just realized how my ex, who I dated for a very long time, actually, just somehow got all of my friends' numbers and talked to them. Oh, yeah. Just messaged them and talked to them all the time. And back then, I was like, oh, it's because he's such a friendly person. He wants to be friends. He's such an extrovert. He wants to be a good oppa. But now that I think about it, because he was Korean-American, I think he just really wanted to hear oppa. Because it was all my, like, tongsangs. It was my close, pretty, younger friends. Oh. And they would all call him oppa, right? And he just wanted to hear, and he wanted to be called oppa. One day, he dropped me off. He was super drunk. But he didn't text me when he got home. So I was concerned, and I was, like, worried, because, you know, I'm a worry word, so I jumped to conclusions. I was like, what if he's, like, knocked out on the streets? Yeah. So I took a cab, and I was, I went to his house, and then I went in, and he was laughing and talking on the phone. Yeah, with your friend. Yeah. I remember this. And I went in, and I was like, what are you doing? And he was like, oh, I just thought you were sleeping. So I was just talking on the phone. And then she stopped talking to him after that. Yeah. Because then she was like, OK, that's a little sus. But then, even then, I was like, I should have known. Yeah. This is a little weird. But she dated him for another three years after that, right? Yeah, you did. Fuck you. Really last question. OK, really last question. OK. Where do you want to see yourself in five years? Where do you why I want to see myself? So we would be, what, 37? We would be 37. In our primes. In our primes. Yeah, 37 is a prime number. So it would be in our, we would be in our prime. In five years, married and living in Jeju-do. Aw. I'll be living in Jeju-do, guys. So visit me. I will. And you have to visit me. Because by then I would have to be back in America. No. I think I will be back in America by 37. I think that's like where I see myself. That's like what, 20? That's 2019. No, 2019. Not back in time. 20, 29? Oh my gosh. Yeah. I really like being in America. I really like it too. You like it too. Because I just feel whenever I land in America, I feel like a load has been lifted off my shoulders. But maybe it's because I go there for vacation to see my family. So I don't know what it would be like to settle down there and have to work, having to work there. In Korea, I feel like I'm always behind in like procedures, even examples. Like people are like, you have to get this done. I'm like, oh, oh, what is that? I didn't even know you can get that done. And so like, I'm not saying like, this is not every single relationship and like with friends. But I feel like there's just like a pressure to continuously look young. Continuously act young. Continuously make a certain amount of money. Continuously like search for the partner that might be here forever or just, you know, I don't know. Like I feel like more people here care. Like my American friends, I have a lot of amazing, beautiful, single friends in the States and they don't feel bothered at all. But here, if I'm single, another person would be like, do you enjoy life? Like what's the purpose of life? They make relationships sound like it's supposed to be everything. I think that literally just stresses me out when I'm here. Ultimately, five years later, I think I'll be in the States and you'll be in Jeju-do. Yeah. Yeah, that's going to be a long distance friendship. Yeah. But I think I thrive. I do good job with like long distance friendships because we're at the age where we can't really like constantly talk. Yeah, it's hard. Time goes by so fast as we age. Yeah. Oh my God, it's already been like six months since we last saw each other. Yeah. Like it feels like just yesterday. I know. Yeah, it's crazy. But yeah. I'm nail. Okay. Anyways. All right, guys. I hope you guys enjoy the Wine Spill video. 32 edition. Do we finish it? No. This is the 32nd Wine Spill episode? No. I'm saying mine. We are 32. Okay, I was going to say. 32 edition. I just hope you had fun with us and I'll see you guys around. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if I should continue the adulting series when moving in or if I should start a new series. We need to start a new series. But I like adulting series. Adulting series. Yes. I'm still adulting. Oh my gosh. Do a voice attack. Okay, let me know if you agree. Bye for a attack. Let me know what you guys think. Bye for a attack. Okay. Thanks for watching. Thank you, Joe. Of course. This was fun. Bye. Thank you. You're welcome. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.