 Ha ha ha ha ha ha, well then her lips shut to stop the nagging. Oh, episode number 39. Are we live Matt Brown? Yeah, we are. Hey. No, sorry, sorry episode number 39. This is the second last episode of the whole of season four. Next week's episode will be the live show and where we will pick the comment winners. Well, you'll see the conclusion of the black book and you'll see us doing our first live show if you can't come to the show. That's crazy. Yeah, mother. Mother? We've had a big week, man. Holy shit, some shit's been shitting off, man. Last week, right, we fucking, we filmed a video where I whip a sip on my leg and then we're like, oh, fuck, couldn't be fucked filming another painful video. And then there's a speed camera nearby the house. So we're like, fucking, let's go put some signs up. Just fuck with some motorists. So we're sitting there and where Michael had the first sign at the front and we put a sign in the middle and then Michael standing there with a sorry sign. And we're filming the cars going past honking, but it was just like, it was shit. It was shit. We were just like, this is gonna look shit if it's just us filming because we couldn't selfie film because the cars were honking before they were in frame because it was driving towards us. You know what I mean? So we're like, fuck it, James, you drive past point of view from the driver's side and James pretended to be a motorist driving past us, reading the signs for the first time. And then we posted it, 30 second clip and it's just gone fucking nuts. But none of us. Yeah, we've been getting roasted on the Daily Mail on news.com, the Korean Mail. It's just a dramatic reenactment. And people are saying the motorists were so angry. It's like, that's fucking James, come on. We even say when we post it, dramatic reenactment. But still, that is what we want. That's what we were hoping the people driving past would be doing. You guys basically just fooled the media. Well, we wanted to give people- They let themselves be fooled. Yeah, we were gonna try and trick people into getting speeding fines by slowing down and then speeding up. But maybe it's actually, it depends how you're looking at. We're trying to help the government get revenue to help our economy. Yeah, so we can buy more medicines and shit to give people. Yeah, possibly. We're forcing them to pay fines, which seems to be something. Yeah, so that's what the outcome was, what we wanted from the public. But obviously we weren't expecting someone to drive past and film it. So we had to find another way to film it. So we got James to do it. So that video is- A dramatic reenactment. A dramatic reenactment. And it's helping the economy. What we were doing, the stunt itself was real. Like we were out there for like half an hour, but we couldn't film it like that. So we just had to get James to film it as he drove past. I hope that clears that up. Cause a lot of people are like, oh, what the fuck? I've seen that going in videos. Yeah, we know. We wouldn't have used James if, you know, it's like obviously- Well, as I said, it literally is to help the government. Yeah. All right, you guys need to, okay, videos done. What the fuck happened on the weekend? Oh man. What did you guys do? We had Mon's 30th on the weekend and it turned into one of the most wild nights that I've ever been a part of for a very long time. Yeah, it's been, I'd say wildest for like a year, two years, but like not in line. And it was like all right throughout, but then like come five a.m. Man, things just got so messy. And this is what I mean about how fun kick-ons is. Cause it's where the weirdest shit happens and it's acceptable. Apart from like obviously next day- What do you mean? That was so cringe. Like all the so many embarrassing things springing to mind. Oh man, Mon's family was there. It's just like fucking hell. Oh, well, okay. I guess it was, there were ups and downs about it. It was literally like a roller coaster. There were moments where we were ripping tics out of men's heads. Yeah, that was one of the, one of the Mon's family had like a tic in his head we found in the middle of the morning. This is what's crazy. Tables were broken. Yeah, I left and everyone was in a circle. Everyone was talking, having a good time. I was like, I'll see you later. And it just seems such a happy little beautiful environment. And then when I came back the next morning, cause I didn't stay the night, I went somewhere else, but we'll get to that later. Yeah, I came back and like the floors were destroyed and the tables were broken and the ping pong table is flattened. Yeah, Michael fully just with his knees jumped onto the ping pong table, went straight through it. The fucking floors were fucked. There was like tables full of food that were being leapt onto. Coffee cups are in the pool. The fucking, oh really? The pool fence was broken. Someone launched one of the dining room chairs into the neighbor's yard and it was so like embarrassing because he was out. Whoa, I didn't remember that one. You guys weren't there. Oh, so it wasn't me. It was probably you, but I wasn't here to see it. So he saw it. Yeah, well, no, no, he didn't see the chair. The chair was there, but he saw me having to climb over the fence. That's fine. That's normal. He was like, the old man, he was like, oh, he waved. And I was like, hey, I was just grabbing my chair. A chair is a chair and launched into your hut yard. Yeah, things got out of hand. I remember you throwing it. Actually, I think that was at the very end. I remember that. You think it just made me want to just be in you. Got to bed at like eight, nine a.m. And then that next day, that Sunday, I cannot begin to describe the hangover. I was in bed until like 7 p.m. And just being conscious was like an eight out of 10 pain relentlessly, like it was fucking unbearable. So to pay this, we hired all these seats in these tables from a higher place. And the man came to pick up all the gear. And he brought his young son. And his young son was like really excited to meet Marty. And he was like, were you like twisted? Yeah, dude, I was like, it was like 6 p.m. though. It's like, I shouldn't be in bed. I just get out still wearing the same clothes from the night before. And just real fucking looking reeking of like gross alcohol. And your eyes are all like black. I'd love to see that photo. Oh, that would be now. I had another cringe day too. Oh, yeah. Like go to Amber's mom's birthday party with the whole family there. I had no sleep and get there at like 10 a.m. Just so fuck, I was like, Amber, I should stay home. She's like, no, you come in and I was like, okay. I end up just sleeping on the lounge room floor. And they're all just watching me sleep. Like that's not okay really, right? But like they, I love them and they were just accepting of it, I think, I hope. And it's all good, but like, fuck. When I got here, it was like 9 a.m. or something like that. And Amber was here and I was like, oh, where's Michael? He's in the van. Oh, she goes, go so low to him. I went, all right, I went up to the van. And I could just hear limp biscuit pumping from the van. I've opened up the door and he's just singing limp biscuit to it. Yeah, I was like, oh my God, I have to deal with this and distract my head some way. So I just put Spotify on and just sort of sat there. You just shook my hand and giggled. Oh, didn't you have a fucking hangover? How did you deal with that? I was out cold. I could, well, that's the thing. It was still like, just so, because I was on such adrenaline still from just, well, I'm out of shit we broke. Like going through the tables, I was still so awake. Oh, fuck me, dude, it's so painful. So like, I was just on this rush. In front of a family, that is so fucked anyway. Oh, but like, it was, it was cheered on at the time. Yeah, at the time, of course, because we were all just fucking beyond saving. Oh, man. I didn't even register in my mind, oh, who might own these things? Like, that does not cross my mind. I know, yeah, so sorry for what we broke. We can't get like that anymore. That's just like so fucked. My fruit bowl's missing. I have a memory of like, we're just leaning on the pool fence and you just start going back and forth. Stop, stop, stop, stop. So we just figured out who broke the pool fence. Yeah, we knew that. Yeah, we knew that. Oh, man, there was, I'm like, no, no. I was like, no, it's just let it go. And then I giggled. Oh, fuck, man. Ironically, we now have an inspection of the house, too. Oh, shit, I forgot about that. No, shit, we're off. We just got to like pressure clean the deck and then we're done. We've got to do, get James to get the drill out. Oh, man. Anyway, yeah, so a wild weekend and it's Tuesday now, we're filming episode 39 and we are still like, I'm still reeling from this night. Like yesterday was fucked and today even so sluggish, so depressed, so fucked. It's been really difficult to rebound from this and we have the live show in three days, come. It's, yeah, the come downs last longer and longer. It's because we went so hard though. Remember, you haven't been hitting it hard. Yeah, exactly. Not to mention you took a few weeks off everything. Oh, man. It's all right. Anyway, yeah, so fucking be careful, party in there boys. You fucking always come and regret it. Count to, what else do we need to talk about? Oh yeah, Spotify peeps. You may have noticed that in a lot of their episodes, you might be hearing an ad at the beginning and an ad at the end and then maybe an ad in the middle somewhere as well. That's because we got approved for like the Spotify ad thing. So we've just been at Spotify, let's put some ads in our podcast. Isn't that great news everyone? That's awesome news. Until I read the rules, they sent like all the Spotify platform rules. We literally break every single one. Oh, fucking really? So it's only a matter of time until they see this and then they'll probably demonetize. Fucking hell dude. Surely though, surely somebody reviewed us before going, hey, let's get on it. That's what I'd like to think too, but as if someone's going to sit there for an hour and just listen to every single podcast before it. They just look at the numbers. They look, oh yeah, heaps of five star reviews. They got a good listener base. Yes. And then worry about it later. Yeah, fuck yeah. Guaranteed. We're screwed. It's not, it's not a bad thing. It just means that we will just be making a little bit of money from Spotify listens now. Which is nice. Up until when they find out who we really are deep down, cunt. Maybe we should. Yeah. You may have noticed last week's episode, the mother segment was canceled. Yeah, they've deemed some of our, some of your confessions to be a bit too much. So we've changed it, all right? And we've changed it to two lies, one truth. And we got you guys to dam in your phone numbers. So we're gonna call you and if you can guess which one is the truth, then you get $500, just like that, live on the podcast. So if you've listened to most of the podcasts, you'll know most of the story. Yeah, cause it's all podcast story related shit. Oh wow. Yeah, dude. It's exciting. And you don't know what yours is yet. Yours could be the truth today, yours could be the lie. Yeah, we'll see, all right. So that's exciting. So that's what we're starting up. We got prank call, we got black book. We don't have bachelor brown this week. We don't have a guess this week. We don't have a guess this week, but fucking, hey, it's the episode before the finale. So we're here. We're trying to organize that at the moment. That's priority number one, brother. To each other. So we've just had to quickly come together and film episode 39. So episode 39 is a bit of a fucking dumb bitch. Can't, all right guys. It is time for our sponsors, our word from our sponsors. Hey. Oh, this one, not this yet, is it? I know it is. It is. Okay, good. Hey, what's going on, man? Have you made dumb decisions before that have left you feeling terrible? Yes? Are you worried about your health as you get older? Do you notice your body deteriorating faster and faster and taking longer to recover than the glory days of the early 20s? Well, shut up! Athleticgreens.com slash fully actual, okay? Athletic Greens is like 75 nutrients and supplements all put together by this dude who was really, really sick and then he got really, really healthy. All right, this has proven this shit. Michael and I have started taking it. All right, now let me tell you, after our weekend, that party we had on Saturday, AG won, the Athletic Greens was the only thing I had on that Sunday at the very end of my hangover and I guarantee you it works, all right? We've always feel a lot better in the mornings when we have it. We have it on an empty stomach, first thing in the morning and it does make us feel better. That is not a lie. That is 100% the truth. Have you tried it yet, Matt? I've been having it every twice. James Lee made me one. Yeah, exactly. It is an energy. The taste is actually nice. It is and the reason Michael and I are so hell bent on taking this is because we know of the damage that we have caused to our bodies and minds over the last 15 years of life, all right? It's extensive. It's significant. At least with AG won, you can help take some of that away. You help, you're re-growing. You're re-growing yourself and that's science, man. Look at all the bruises on it. We need this shit, all right? And so do you. So athleticgreens.com slash fully actual and you get a free vitamin D and five travel packs. Boom, for free. How's that? It's pretty good. Yeah, that is pretty good, Matt. That is very fucking good. And not the number three. So it's a subscription, all right? A monthly fee that you pay and then you get your stock of AG won every single month. And Michael and I, I'm going to be on this shit for the rest of my life. I am. Because they constantly redo the formula the more shit that they find out. So it's constantly evolving with health. It's very good. If you're gonna take any kind of vitamin supplements, take this shit, all that stuff in the tablets. It just goes straight through you. This soaks in. Did you just take another scoop? It's so good. Like it literally tastes like, I know. Anyway, guys, do us a favor. Get your athletic greens. Link is in the description. Go there right now, fully actual, okay? Athleticgreens.com slash fully actual. That was hot. And take control of your health. Yeah, it's good to be better. It's like being more B. All right, guys. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Are you listening at home? Good. Cause I'm here to tell you that I've had a gut full of your shit. I am beyond disappointed in you. You've heard this spiel over and over again. And you still choose to not even look at manscaped.com. Just go to the website. Go there. I guarantee you they can have some shit that you haven't heard of before that can help you, that can lift you out of the darkness and lift you up to love and light and getting your balls sucked clean, cunt. Don't you want your balls sucked clean? Buy their ball shaver, rave-er, their ball reviver, their ball swipes and get sucked off in a tree. Oh, I just want to suck myself off my balls. I'm so smooth and tidy after manscapes and use out this cunt code for the actual 20% for 20% off. Get your shit sorted, man. The preserver. The preserver? They've got the lawnmower in Woolworths now. Obviously, they're good. Woolworths isn't going to have some shit in it, is it? It's all good. Go to Woolworths. manscape.com slash fully actual. Yeah. Also for women. Yeah, heaps of women. Mostly. Mostly for women. Body wash. It's actually, I'm going to go and say it. It is only for women. It is women. It is women. So a woman, listeners, manscape.com use our discount code fully actual 20 and get your balls plune. Okay. Okay, the fuck. Moving on. That was too in. Whoa. I love to be a fly on the wall when the manscape happens. Yeah. Listen to me. Oh, they're telling everyone it's for women. Just for one. It's getting worse, Ronald. Yeah. This is the last time we do them. We get fired. They said you could get sucked off in a tree. Yeah. Oh my God. Anyway, let's have a fucking bong break and come back strong. And we're back. We were just discussing in between weed that we were a bit worried about the jokes we're making on the website recently. We did like a can women really multitask video the other day? Oh, you did not. Which gender can multitask? Oh, yeah. And I was the woman and, you know, we're just mucking around. But anyway, you'll see our website. Link in the description. 21 day free trial. It's how we fund everything here, bro. 220 videos of the craziest you've ever seen. What's out on there right now? What comes out this Sunday? Oh, either pressure pool or torture chest. Both fucked. Anyway, moving on. It's time for on this day. And this is this is where Matt. He comes in right usually on some sort of methamphetamine and he researches a day in history that happened today. Isn't that right? That's correct. Well, not on meth, though, mom. I don't know, man. Is this will you still do it for a K? Yeah, you'll do it on the podcast live, I bet. If we gave you 20 grand at the podcast finale, would you do a hit of $20,000? Yes, really? So live in five. I'll hit one hit of meth for 20 K live. Really? We should start a GoFundMe. Wow, imagine writing that GoFundMe. They've got to approve it, don't they? What about 10? No, you know, they have lowered it. Now you've lowered it. And you know what? You've lowered your standards. Well, let's get 10 K cash out. Yeah, if we had 10 K. Oh, fuck, that'd be tough, Tim. Yeah, fuck it. Well, we're fucking getting a bit nervous for the live show. Hey, boys, it's so close. I think we're going to be fine. And we've done this before. I know, it's going to be funny with an audience. It's going to be so strange. Like, just imagine 200 people there right now. You just got me nervous. Yeah, it's like, fuck. I'm going to be so shy. Maybe we should put, like, the walls there. So we can't see it. Wait, let's just do it here, but we'll keep them there. Yeah. Sorry. Anyway, on this day, on this day in 1988, John Howard was a slug. He was found in a damp bush nibbling on some leaves by his now wife. She collected him and kept him in an aquarium. Over the coming days, they bonded. She led John the slug crawl all over her body. One thing led to another, and things turned sexual. John's wife enjoyed the sensation of slug John circling her areolas. She lent down and kissed him, turning him into an Australian version of a prince, a prime minister. So ladies, if you see any slugs out there, give them a kiss. It could be the next prime minister. I'm Matt Brown, and I would also like to point out that my dick is a slug. DM me for pictures of my slugs. Oh, no. What about? That's boy's eyebrows. Furry. We like that. Slug remnant. Actually, there's a podcast fan. Sorry, I can't remember his name. Oh, my God. He keeps messaging me, asking me for dick pics. But he's relentless. Nothing about early fans. You almost give up. I can see why people send news, because they just give in. So he fully sends his fans? I'm just like, he won't know. And every time, I start off with, like, ha-ha. And then, like, sorry. And then, like, I'm scared. And then I'm like, no, leave me alone. And then it's just, come on, man. Just show me yours or show mine. Yeah, show me your boobs. What about? OK, like, recently, you had, like, you put in the group chat some weird messages you've been getting. Yeah, what the fuck, yeah. Ah! Ha-ha-ha. Yeah, what's going on there? That's clearly your fault. No, that's not us. You're sealing the story. I just wanted to, oh, maybe, like, people are going, because people go through the old podcasts. And so every now and then, they get a fart, or I get, like, a, you know, or a, it's Matt's birthday. That's all that happened to fucking Box Boy, I bet. Yeah, that's poor guy. Remember, I got a random damn from him, like, a year after we did that episode. He said, can you guys stop talking about me on your podcast? And I was like, man, we haven't spoken about you for like a year. And I realized it's new fans going back and listening to those episodes. Yeah, leave him alone. Leave everyone that we've seen. We weren't, we weren't right. Yeah, we did a lot of, a lot too much alcohol. I think it was even second season. But you've sent stuff before, like, send Matt Brown the worst videos ever. You've done it multiple times. That's fine. Yeah, that's fine for your psyche. Like it just every now and then. Just don't watch them. I can't help it. Every now and then you get this video and you're like, oh, that's definitely from another country. And you just, you can't help but open it. You witness a murder. Yeah. Oh, that's sick cheeky. Anyway, diary entry. All right. This is one of my diary entries. I found it blah, blah, blah in my mom's wallet. Okay. She's no blah, blah, blah. All right, it's just a random diary entry. All right, here we go. Entry number 769,537,471. Don't, stop, don't, anyway, sorry. Don't feed into it, Matt. You really hurt, like, you really hurt my feelings. Yeah, so don't, yeah, nothing. Don't talk, sorry. Don't, don't count like that. He's turned on me. Don't count like that, sorry. Today I went, today I went to the beach with my only friend, Scalp. Scalp doesn't speak English, so we just like to sit and look. We went into the water and splashed around. Not too deep though, because that's dangerous. The sun was hot and we didn't have sunscreen. I went to the lifeguard and asked for some sunscreen. The lifeguard said yes and told me and Scalp to come into the lifeguard tower. He got the sunscreen and started touching our chests. I said, that's enough, but he said he needs to do my back. He turned me around and started on my back. I got scared and ran out of the lifeguard tower. Scalp was still in there and I waited for him to outside. I waited for 20 minutes and then Scalp came out covered in sunscreen. Scalp looked different, but he didn't say anything. Scalp didn't want to play on the beach anymore, so we went home. It was a pretty good day. I'm laughing at the name, Scalp. That's what, that's what my friend called Scalp. I think it was like Russian or something. Holy fuck, man. Okay, I regret telling you not to talk like that with the number thing. Yeah, now you know why. Sorry. Why German numbers are so harsh. It's because the world is harsh, man. Yeah, especially for Scalp. That's just a... Oh yeah, yeah, I know it. You know what I mean? Yeah, dude. Yeah. All right, guys, it's now time for Michelle's Babel and here's Beezus now and he's so wise and strong and powerful. And here we go, everybody. Get ready to open your ear fucking hole and get some wisdom shoved down by hips. This is Chuck Duh, things that are shit part two. No, I don't want to hear it. Downtown Abbey. Yeah, okay. Bathurst. Yeah. Traffic lights. Yeah, okay. The show, The Project. Posh people. Stairs. Pronouns. Who wants to be a millionaire? Checkers. Fluoride. Smart cars. Seafood. Yeah, I'm fucking agree with all of them. I thought you were going to list off some of my favorite movies. No, no, no. I didn't even say Star Wars. I had to look at your movies again, but... You're separating them into like categories now of things. Yeah, something. This is a new chapter. It's just a new chapter, Matt. If I do math, would you watch all of the Star Wars with me? Yes. Really? I'll have to think about it for a second. All right, guys. It's time. Oh, here we go. For Matt Brown's dirty, dirty black book where he has written in great detail about all his sexual experiences from when he was just an egg to now. Oh. Oh. Here it is. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Say the best. All right, here we go. This is where I'm up to. Up to. Okay. All right, next week's the finale, by the way. This is crazy. Couldn't come down. I did realise that the people at the finale won't have heard this episode yet. So let's just hope that the black book doesn't add to the storyline, if you know what I mean, because they won't have heard it yet. Do you know what I mean? Hopefully it's just like a random one. Is it? Well, you'll have to read and find it. All right. Okay, so it's not a question. It's all right. I have number 72. I was playing with my Barbies on a lazy Sunday afternoon. I would make them have arguments with each other, and then I would punish them for their arguments by melting them down to liquid and funneling them up my arse. Oh, I love my Barbies. I lay down on my back and let my body relax. Soon I will have to find Queston and kill him once and for all, but today I relax. I realised I was feeling a bit horny when my nipples started to swell. Perhaps a cheeky little hooker will curb my urges. A dirty, dirty prostitute. I pull my phone out. Hey Siri, call Walter. Calling Walter. The phone rings and Walter answers. What? Walter, it's me. Come around right now. Hang on, sweetheart. I'll be over after me, cigarette. I get off the phone and spread margarine over my hairy chest. The margarine melts over my nipples and I chuckle as the melted margarine sizzles away. I hear a car parking outside. Walter is here. I beat her to my front door and open it before she can knock. She's the same old Walter. She looked like she'd been dragged along behind a horse for the last 10 years and her long gold hair was thinning on top so I could easily see her scalp. She was still very obese and had cigarette burns all over her arms. She was loudly chewing gum and wearing a small red boob tube and a short denim skirt. Her thick cellulite riddled legs shook with every step. Walter was just her fake prostitute name, of course. She spat out the gum. Oh, let's get this over with. I let her in and catch a whiff of her scent as she passes me. She smelt of abortion clinic disinfectant and maggots. We make our way to the bedroom and Walter lifts her skirt. I remove my pants and shirt and waste no time. I push Walter and she falls on the bed. She lays on her fat back and spreads her legs for me. I wrap my hand around my flaccid cock and balls and then stuff my fist up Walter. She barely even stirs as I'm probably her 15th client of the day. I release my junk waltz inside of her and wait to get hard. Walter stares blankly up at the ceiling. I fiddle with her top and pull a tit out. Then I start getting hard. I feel Walter's face and touch her skin and it's as rough as tree bark. She looks at me and I gently start thrusting. Hey, you been all right? I've been well, Walter. How about you? How are the kids? Yeah, not bad. Kids are all right. I can't find one of them. That's enough small talk now, Walter. Walter nods and lights up a cigarette. I flip Walter on her stomach and have a smash from behind. Oh, I stab my cock through her hairy cheeks and bury it deep. I feel Walter press back against me. Oh, that's it, Matty. Let me have it. I start fucking hard and fast. Faster and faster. Her arks, her arse cheeks slap against my thighs. Ah, ah, ah, ah. I grab a fistful of her back fat as my cock and balls solidify while I mince. Filthy hot magma spills into my sweet, sweet Walter. My body weakens and I fall to the side. Do you want a smack? Get out, Walter. Walter pulls up her skirt. See, I said, get out, Walter. I hear Walter close the door behind her and smile as my body relaxes. Tomorrow, I will find and kill Quentin. I can't believe Walter. Walter definitely does not sound female. Holy shit. Oh, he's female. That is... What is it, woman? That was so good. Ah. That's fucked, man. Shh. You said once Walter's finished, you just want Walter out. Yeah, it's all... It's exciting when he's on his way, but once he's done, you want to fucking out the door. See, are you saying he's a man? I don't know. He's both. All right, guys, it's time for our new segment brought to you by Mother Energy Drink. All right, they have made it possible for us to call you guys and give someone $500 every single episode. That's Mother Energy Drink doing that, okay? So what we're going to do now, Michael, me and Matt are going to tell you guys what our truth or lie is for the day, all right? We're not going to tell you which one is the true one and we're not going to tell you which one are the two lies. Then we're going to call some of you guns that sent us your phone numbers and if you can guess it correctly, you win the $500. We thought we'd pay it forward with the brand deal. Do you understand? Help, help. So drink mother, drink mother, mother, mother. Also, before we get into this, can everyone please give us a five-star review on Spotify and like and subscribe? Don't worry so much about the commenting now. If you could just like and then subscribe and also five-star reviews on Spotify. We're at 1.4K now. Very yummy. It's fucking hot. While we're on the subject of stars. What the fuck is that? It's just here. Sorry, sorry. We were contemplating going into the zoo, the podcast awards this year. Oh yeah. We haven't done it. I mean, nothing's stopping anyone from voting but we're not campaigning for it this year. As much as you want. Yeah, we're not pushing as hard. It was fucking. Next year I think when we come back bigger and better than ever. Next year we'll give it a run for its money. How's that? If you want to vote for it, it's gonna be beautiful. Yeah, Australian podcast awards. Like I don't even think it's that big a competition yet. It's not. It's getting bigger. It's getting funner, but yeah. But anyway, mother. All right, so vote for us. Drink. All right, so now we're going to call you guys. Wait up, what's the fucking lies? The things that we had? We got to read them each first. All right, so this is going to be, we're each going to read out now our lie or truth. Okay, we're not going to tell you which one's which. Hang on, let me find out. So mine is that my dad was a professional squash player. Okay, that's mine. Mine is that I saw a body bleed out in Thailand. And that's? Mine is, wait, do I? No, no, just read what it is. He's eaten an entire hay bale in the 1970s before. Say it again or what? He's eaten an entire hay bale in the 1970s before. Okay, so that's his. Is that a truth or a lie? Has Matt eaten an entire hay bale in the 1970s? What do you meant, Matt? Come on, play along. You got to act it so they guess it wrong so we don't give him money. Because we each have to tell them that. All right, here we go. Aren't we doing a fucked up lie here? Oh yeah, that's right. We're going to get our lying segment done here as well. And as soon as someone answers, say, you've won the $500, you've won the $500. And then say, no, sorry, we're lying to you, but now you have a chance at winning it. Is that evil? So it's mean, but then also they get a chance at winning it. So not really. Okay. All right, here we go. Scared. You should be scared, Matt. This could go very wrong. Don't you understand that? I'm going to put my phone on silent. I feel like someone's seeing Matt's head. I'm getting really anxious. He's just a rapist in his bedroom. Oh man. The 1970s. Anyway, sorry. Yeah, Matt, come on. Do you want another chili? Yeah. All right, here we go. We're calling, we're calling, we're calling. This guy's Brenton. Okay. This is Brenton. Where's the sound? Oh, there it is. Hello? Brenton. Oh my God. Brenton. You have just won $500. You've won $500. He did it, dude. He did it. No fucking way. No, dude, we're lying to you. I'm sorry, Brent, but we've got an opportunity for you. But Brenton, you are in with a chance to win the $500, okay? So Michael, Michael, me and Matt now are going to tell you our lies or truths. And you have to guess which one of us is the truth. All right? So you're looking for the truth. All right, Michael. Michael, what's yours? Go ahead. Okay, I saw a body bleed out in Thailand. Okay, so that's Michael's. This is my... He died. This is mine. My father is a professional squash player. Man. Cool. I fucking forgot. Oh my God, Matt. Oh my fucking God. Read it, right there. He's eaten an entire hay bale in the 1970s. So Matt, he's eaten an entire hay bale during the 1970s. All right, so which one of those is the truth out of us three? Michael's is definitely the truth. He's got it! He did it! He did it! He did it! Holy shit. So now you have really won $500 and we just completed our lying segment. That is outstanding. That was double. Dude, you fucking did it, man. That was some double trouble. You fucking did it. I hope it's this easy every week. Maybe we should tell people to be prepared. That was very good. I can't believe you got it. Unlike me. He knows. Do you know why I knew that? Because you listen. Because you listen to the podcast. Because I listen, yeah. Exactly. Exactly, right. That's what we're going to do. We're going to reward the podcast listeners. Yeah. Marley and Miles. Yeah, what's going on? Hey. Hi. No way. Yeah, absolutely. We're really real. Brenton's just won $500. I just won $500. And he won a car. He's won a car, too. Fuck off. Shut up. Stop lying to him. You can buy a car. Or get finance on the car. He's fucking his fucking dollars. Holy shit. Well done, Brenton. Well done, fam. What are you going to spend the money on? I'm going to probably buy a bag. Fucking have a bag on us. Oh, man. Lovely to meet you. We'll fucking enjoy your bag, brother. Thanks, guys. See you, dude. See you, dude. Holy shit. We help. See, no, we did the lying segment. And you feel good, right? Oh, dude. I have to apologize to everyone. I forgot my lie. Because I was so out of it. I froze. I didn't realize that. Remind me to transfer that at the end of it. Yeah, that was very, very fuck me. Thank you to mother. Yeah. Thank you, mother. Mother energy drink, guys. That's what we're going to be doing every week. I liked that a lot more. Yeah, that's so much fun. That was way more fun. Everyone's really excited. And yours was like, like, yeah. Very good. We'll start lying to him like bigger and bigger. Like we'll say they've got a trip away and shit. Like they won a house. We're out the front. I ate a whole bale of hay in the 1970s. I know. Fucking hell, man. Very good, man. Very well read. Shut up. Write my own lies from now. Oh, guys, don't forget to give a five star Spotify review. All right. We love our reviews. Don't we, lads? We absolutely love our reviews. It helps. It all helps. Yeah. Anyway, let's move right along. Shall we? Yeah. What else have we got? Hey, this is crazy. Questions? If we're doing questions, I'm getting high. Yeah. Yeah. All right. We're going to have a quick bomb break and get rid of. And we're back. All right. The last comment of the week of the season. Thank fucking God. I won't be, I'll be so happy to see the back of that shit segment. We're going to cut your name down. It started off so good. Put it on a board and then we're going to pick one and we'll play it at the season finale. So you will see it next week who, who wins the comment competition. So make sure the comments of the week people and just if you've ever commented on this season, make sure you watch the finale to see if it's you because we're worried that it's going to be some random one-off person who's fucking commented the beginning of the year and then doesn't watch. No, I figured it out. So we're going to pick like six winners just in case there's five people who can't figure it out. We, um, we draw the winner before the big one. So we know who it is and we, we say the winner. What if they're not real anymore? They're dead or something. We'll communicate with them before we go live. Yeah. Yeah. We pre-record that, that whole comment competition thing. Sorry. Sorry. Anyway. So if you want to, so Matt's about to pick a comment for the comment of the week board and then we're going to answer your questions. If you'd like us to answer your question, comment on the muddy Michael fully actual YouTube channel. We answer the most like questions first. So after you comment your question, have a scroll through and like the other questions that you want us to answer. Look at Matt sitting up straight. I want to try it. He's trying to impress his husband. Um, Wallace. Wallace? Walter. Walter. And he's my prostitute, not my husband. No, it's a she. Oh, Wallace. Sorry. I fucking loved Wallace. All right. Conor, cut this back in and make sure you cut that, please. We should leave that in. Yeah. Cut everything, but leave that in. All right. Comment of the week went to Peter Hunt. I really. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Police man. I'm sorry. These men. Imagine if I was actually uniform. Our little people would respect them. Demand. You're respected brandy. Quality. Quality. That is fucking disgusting. What you're wearing Matt. I guess I look pretty fucked too. Don't know. You look like like Aladdin's shit brother. Best. Oh yeah. Wow. No, you look like a, you know Aladdin. Yeah. I do know that. Sorry. He swittled me one night. All right. Comment of the week went to Peter Hunt. And his comment was highly liked. And it was. I really hope Matt finds love and haves it. Yeah. Yeah. You will have. And that was comment of the week. It's real love. We're going to have to get a bed for next season. Why? We should get beds. Oh, I'd love to lie down. And then. Do I get a bed? It's real love. Yeah. That's not a bad idea. And then we do the podcast in bed. Oh, we'd be so relaxed. Oh, but then. Spoon. I'll get under the covers and make funny sound. You wouldn't. I don't want you guys to see my face sometimes. We're saying things. I'm not sure about it. I get insecure about things sometimes. I don't say it. You guys will fart. And then you'll hold me under the covers. It'll be horrible. I think we'll kiss a lot too. Lots of kissing. And then you'd fucking spill so much shit through it. And you never clean. Peter Hunt. You're in the running to win $1,000. Hasn't he already won like 10 of them? He's like got like a 20% chance. I've heard that name before. He's comments a lot. Gets a lot of comments in. All right. Yeah. All right. Good. Um, all right. Top question. Top question went to Matt Brown's dirty Dorito fingers. Oh, now. And the question is, um, has there ever been a time when either of you have taken a prank too far? That's as created an awkward friendship. Not for you guys, but for like other people. Yeah. Have you ever done a prank or a video created something awkward between someone? Yeah. 100%. There's been many times, especially when we're younger. They'd be, we'd just take it too far and break something or be really destructive at a friend's house. And then they'll be like, obviously would be annoyed at them. A bit like that. London Saturday. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. We went back. Yeah. And there's just an overriding tension of like, Oh God, like it's just like they're too much. Sorry. So yeah, there's been plenty of that. What else? Um, Okay. Okay. Oh, sorry. I think I laughed cause I could see it coming. Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. I think I laughed cause I could see it coming. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. All right. Fucking Peter hunts back already. Fuck Peter. You're getting in. Fuck Peter. What kind of directions are you giving out? Um, Oh, no, this is going to be a tough question. All right. What is the most requested video idea you get from your members? You laugh. You lose three up there. It's a website. Yeah. Um, sounds a bit dark. Oh, we often get a lot of requests to streak sporting events, the finals of them. I can't remember the question. We'll move on. Fucking hell. Next question. Next question. Oh, no, the most requested is me cutting his fucking hair again. Oh, yeah. God. There's a question about that in the question. See. Come on. Let me do clearly. Come on. Oh, no. Oh, all right. This is a dark one. Shit. No, not really. Um, it's from jock van Kempen. Depending where he's made from. Um, what advice would you give to someone who can't work out what they want in life and what career path to take? Keep trying. Heaps of different things. I reckon like. Just keep trying. And you, there's always something you like that you don't think you're able to make a career from. Forest scum the other day. Yeah. Do you just go for it instead of running? Just walk for like. Ages. Yeah. If you just continually walk, you probably will. Yeah. Get somewhere one day. I reckon everyone, if you don't know what, and you speak up walking, it's called the walker. And you just walk around everywhere. And if anyone talks to you, you scream as madly as you can. You scream. I'm on fire. I'm on fire. You scream that. You just keep walking. And your name is forest scum. And then they'll start calling you fire walker. And that's what we are. Fire forest. Sorry. Next question is from Harvey. What was Michael like immediately after the human skill test of video ended? Oh yeah. He was all right I think. He just had a bit of cow shit on him and. I've blocked that out. It's quite traumatic looking back. I swear, yeah. The worst part was getting dragged. You don't realise all the rocks that you sort of go over and shit. It's the most excruciating pain. Oh man, very good. It's good conditioning. Oh man. And the palm tree sucked because you go through the leaves and stuff. Look at Matt. He's not, we're not being very cliche. Oh man. Nico JC and Mr. Whistler 45 asked pretty much the same question. So. Thank you. Oh Ashley. Ashley. Ashley. Ashley. Ashley's asked. It was actually someone else that asked the question. I certainly merged two together. Where Ashley. So I'll Mr. Whistler 45 and someone else. A lot of people keep asking, are we going to stream the live show? We're not going to stream live show. It's just going to be a normal episode. No, not going to do it. It'll just be a normal episode. You can see the next week. No, no, we're going to do it. So you were, you're not, you know, apart from the live part and going out with us after, you're not missing out on that much. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. So Nico JC, he actually asked. And I've changed it just a little bit. But he said, are you boys looking forward to the day that your kids get curious and check out the website? Oh yeah. I've thought about this with Estie. Yeah. I think like, will she be embarrassed when she's in like high school? Fucking A. You reckon? She'll quit. No, because look at all the jackass boys. They're like, that's kids of gods. We made one from our ass the other day. And then tasted it, Matt. But anyway. Yeah. It's a good question. I do worry about that sometimes. But like, you know, it's, I just, I'll sit it down and try and explain that it's, it's comedy. It's subjective. And it's just trying to make people laugh. Yeah. As long as the intentions are good, we're not. It's just, that's all we're doing, man. Just trying to make people laugh. So fucking. So go back to school and tell them to shut up and meet me under the bridge. I can just tell her that you were trying to fly. That's what Mark is going to tell his future kids. Being a fucking straight jacket in a hospital. I was trying to fly. All the shopping in these videos are fucking shmishitin' on him. Fucking shummin' shit out of his arse. Scullin' cum and gollies on his fucking head. I was trying to fly. Fuck. Fuck, it's just made him go fucking crazy. Oh my God. Dude. I've essentially put the glasses on. You look like a rapper now. I feel like a rapper, like a lolly rapper. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Next question is from Jin. Huh? Question from the podcast. How tall is Matt Brown? I always imagine him to be stout, retunned man. Like a garden gnome with a snake the length of most men. But then I saw him in the aliens vlog and he seems to be a tall boy. Please confirm. I'm about the same height nearly as the boys. Maybe they're a fraction taller than me. Yeah, I think we're like 6'3", like 6'1", or something. 6'2". There you go. 6'2". Yeah, so Matt's quite tall. He's big. He's a big, powerful giant. Forward. Scuttling around sideways. Man, I love scuttling, scuttling, scuttling. Back on the alien vlog. Let's do that again. Would you do that for a week? No way. Matt would kill himself. If we have a bit of comfort. If it was glamping? Yeah, if it was glamping. Yeah, but you can't destroy my glamp. Yeah, that's so true. See, that's always a risk. Something's going to get destroyed. Oh, the fucking, the camping was chaos. One minute you're there and you've got a mattress next where you turn around and it's engulfed and all you see is black smoke in the sky and you're like, oh, what a, how smoke that is. And then you realize it's covered the entire sky. And you're like, I would have been terrified if that was daylight. Yeah, I don't remember that. That fire really just got us going. The ashes put like a year off our lives. Remember, I spent like $200 on fire starters and made that deal for once. Yeah, I love starting big fires. So fun. That's right. God, it's good. Something about it. I used to like putting like bits of food at the top of like the structures you'd build and then watching like the cheese slowly. Yeah, do you remember when we were throwing all the lollies in the fire, how interesting that was? Yeah, that was interesting. Oh, I miss your lolly fucking presentations. The Willy Wonka show. Yeah, the Willy Wonka show is one of the best. I wish you could film that and everyone would enjoy it, but they just wouldn't be a good video. You just have to be part of it. Yeah, you got to be able to taste in that video. Sorry. Alright, next question is from Roman Briskey. Very good. Alright, it's for Michael. Well read. Question for Michael. Does Amber hate Star Wars? I think it's hilarious when you talk about how much you hate it. Oh, Star Wars now. I don't think she's a fan, no. I don't think she's a fan, but I could see her watching it like out of curiosity. Yeah, I don't think so. Star Wars. She likes films. Yeah. Yeah, but she's a very male film, isn't it? She wouldn't watch. No. She hasn't watched it. Like shooting in space and she only goes. No. It's a love story. Oh my God, it's a love story. What is it again, Star Trek? Star Wars. Star Wars a love story. It's yeah. No, she wouldn't watch them, but like that's okay. That's good for you. Yeah. Mon doesn't watch them. If she turned around and said, can we watch the first trilogy of Star Wars? What would you say? I just feel like get me, let me get really, really high. You can enjoy anything when you really do. Dude, I think you love it stoned as far. No way. The old one. I told you Jabba the Hutt or the big fat thing. Yeah, dude. I reckon you'd love it. It's too old. It looks shit. Dude, you and the Ewoks would jam. Yeah. I can't do old shit anymore either. I'm struggling with movies from the 90s now. Yeah. The Titanic still, that has kept its fucking shit. Like you look at that ship as it's sailing, and that was made in 1999. Maybe the Digitality Ragemaster once. No respect for the art of film. That was very good. And Leo and Rose, perfect. Yeah. But yeah, 90s movies are like. Would you ever watch the movie The Raising of the Titanic? Anyway, moving on. All right. So next question. All right. Next question is from VY. Do you wish sometimes not being famous or not on social media and just enjoying life without the camera shooting you everywhere you go? Yeah, sometimes. But the good outweighs the bad with its life. Sometimes you wish it wasn't there, but I'd prefer to have it and live this life than not have it. It's been pretty flat-eye. And so it gets a good life. And the final question of the night. Comes from. Romani. Fernando. Romani. Fernando. I think depending where he's from. Or where she's from. Sorry. Why did you do that? Yeah. Sorry. Fucking hell. You still got a bit of a weekend in there. All right. Question is, will Michael cut his hair if his girlfriend says to do it? No. She'd never tell me to. Oh, his doubt. He's got doubt. He has no idea. If she's crying to do it. He came home. Please get it off. Please. I just need you to be. Yeah, actually I would. Really? Whoa. Oh my God. That's it. That was good. Yeah. Okay. That is the end of questions. We haven't been high on the podcast. For a while. So they're really like slow and super anxiety. Every question they're panicking if they've given the right answer. Sorry. We're overthinking like the things that we're saying. See. Chili scared him. We need a chili. All right. I'm going to do a prank call now. All right. Oh shit. Presence. Everyone. We're going to have. We've got PO box first. So we're going to open the things that you send to us. If you want to send us anything, send it to PO box. We're open everything live. We don't know what's in these things. It could be a bomb. Tick tick tick. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Someone said it's a glitter bomb once and that did short and edge for P. A Laffy opener. Boom run ice face. This has some main words already written on it. It says, Is it from f**king the world? No, there has no Dad it is. Oh no. It is. Well, open your parcel. Let's go. Let's go. Oh. He's gone. Oh my God. Oh my God, it's a used condom. Oh my God, scared the shit out of me, man. Oh, holy shit. Oh, we just got sent a used condom. Oh, I'm so fucked. We just got sent a used condom. I think it's for me. Fuck you, Matt Brown. It says fuck you, Matt Brown, and a used condom. Is that the, who do you think? Is that from fucking, oh, the dude with no dad? Yeah, maybe. Maybe it's the, what was the enemy again? Dakota. No, Dakota's cool. No, Dakota guy. The code guy, yeah. The man with no dad. Yeah, that's right. He hasn't, we haven't had him around for a while. It's been good. What a way to come back onto the scene. Yeah, thank you for that. Was there anything else in there? Just gargle the cum to show, to, as a show of dominance. Yeah, would you, would you wear it? Wear what? Where'd it come? Is it actually, is there cum in there? Oh, oh. Fuck me. There it is, Matt Brown has any hands. Inspecting the package. Oh yeah, there's something in there. I reckon, dangle it. Whoa. Oh, there's a little hair too. No. That's a bit too much for the brown. This one's definitely a bomb. Oh no. Oh no. That looks all right so far. What do we got here? We got the Aboriginal flag stickers. We've got some cards. It's just like a little goodie bag full of stuff. We've got a bracelet, a couple of bracelets. A little booklet, pride. Well, cheers, Paul, you bloody legend. Cheers, man. I need a new grinder, brother. And a little notebook. It might be something else. Anyway, all right, that is the P.O. Box segment done. Now it's time for the prank. All over body. Smack, huh? Come on. What kind of business? Oh, you King Dad Bowling, how can I help you? Hello, my name is Arnold Fein. You have Bowling Alley available tomorrow night, maybe 7 PM? Oh, let me just check for you. OK, you have luck, OK? Yep, well, it looks like we've got some lanes available tomorrow night at 7 PM. OK, I come with my wife. She's sick. My wife is sick, OK? I have a wheelchair for a wife. Is that OK with a wheelchair? Yeah, so I can put you guys online one, which is right next to the wheelchair, right? OK, OK, put us on number one. And then I have Tucson. Tucson come and we have a pet pig, not too big a pig, maybe 40, 50 kilo. And he come to look after wife like a surface pig. Sorry, what do you ask him for that one? Asking if it's OK, we bring our little surface pig, our family pig, OK, same size as a dog, very clean, clean, not a mess. I pay extra. Oh, yeah, that should be OK. So if you come in tomorrow and just let them know that they can handle it with you, but that sounds like it'll be fine. OK, so to confirm, I come tomorrow with wife and two kids and a pet pig and we are allowed to play lane one. I know they know same to me. Oh, you have a pig. No, no, you cannot bowl here. No, because I cannot go to the bowling and they say go away, you understand. You say yes now. It means yes in them tomorrow night. Oh, you said that pig. What the hell are you saying? Yes, a pet pig. I say pig four or five time. Pig, you know, a pet pig. Hello. Yeah, you can bring the pig, but you've got to bring it so we can make some bacon out of it. Is that all right? What do you say? You listen here, snack, you think this funny you make fun of my pet picker. You, Australian, you stupid, you snack. You're super snack in the grass. I know where you are bowling, OK. I come down without pick and then we see who make a bacon from who are you fucking your wife? Oh, you're saying your wife. That's what you want. Huh? I mean, my country picker come everywhere. They drive a bus. They drive train. They teach at the university. Slack. All right, bye. Slack. Ah, I love aggressive. I don't find he went aggressive so quick. Can we do one more? I can listen to that all night. I am done like a door or babies. Can't have too much of a good thing. That was so, dude, I don't find again. He needs to be. He was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, bring it in like. And then it wasn't to like really break it down. He's like, oh, oh, you mean pink? Oh, outstanding. Anyway, guys, the next time you see us, it will be for the season finale. And I wish us all the best in the comments. And yeah, I guess we'll see you guys soon. OK, I love you guys. And just remember that we're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the fucking best. The five star review best on Spotify, man. We're the best. Best. Shit, man. Look at that. I've got no hair.