 Bitch, you have $2,000 shut up. Dude, my computer is lagging from loading monopoly. Yeah, no, it's not optimized at all. It's a terrible game. Yeah, mind lagged out. I'm excited to play. S-Fan's computer can only play games made in 2004. Yes, actually. I designed a PC to only play games from 15 years ago. S-Fan, you have two minutes and 12 seconds to join. Dude. Otherwise, the rate's gonna reset. How do I join? You have to accept my friend request and I invite you. Oh, you got it. Okay, I invited you. I feel like I shouldn't be playing this. Hooray! S-Fan, you said that for a lot of games you play nowadays. Dude, I feel... I say that about... I mean, that's what anyone should be saying at the start of the monopoly. Role mistake. Ready? Three, two, one. That's a very soft-looking car. I wouldn't say for that car. Here we go. I am a doggie. Oh, shit, Mike. Here. Low! Nice! All right, I'm going third. It's not so bad. Okay, let's go. Snake. Oh, my God! Oh, he tied! Day to play Monopoly. Time to trade and build an empire. Wait, you guys want to play for subs to make it interesting? First place gets my... No. All right, winner gets one gifted sub. Okay, guys, that's good. Oh, what are you... Hey! Sorry. Okay, so five points. I've never played Monopoly before. All aboard. Where should I put my camera? Where should I put my camera? Oh, I put mine in the top left. I feel like that's probably best. You might actually win, maybe. Uh... Shop it up, man. Should I buy? Should I buy or not buy? What are you doing, man? Buy everything? I'm buying, I'm buying, I'm buying. You already lost. No, it's okay. You got to spend money to make money. What's the currency code in this game? That's a mortgages property. Wait, wait, hold on. Do I want a mortgage? What is a mortgage? No, no, no. You want to pick no. What are you doing? I think you're dragging coins. How do I end my turn? Why did I play with a bunch of boomers? All right, my turn. Ready? And see what the future looks like. Stop knocking me over. Aggressive. Aggressive role. Wait, can I control where I roll on the board? Bum, bum, bum. No, you can just control the ferocity or the intensity. Really? Usually, I would skip the animation, but for that one. All right, hit and turn. Oh, oops, my bad. Wait, you're in jail now? I'm just visiting, man. I've got friends in the cling. Oh, okay. Oh, dude, the reason why it keeps mortgaging is because my push to talk is the same as the mortgage button. It's not good. What are you doing? I'm trying to talk to you guys. Stop talking to me. I don't care. Play the game. Yeah, I just hit enter without talking. I don't want to talk to you. And then change your... Guys, you guys know that press to mute is the superior choice on this chord, right? Oh! He's insane. You press the mute. I'm going to press the mute button. Nice. Look at that, dude. He's that all skilled in. If I did push to talk, I'd be constantly hitting push to talk. Draw card. Come in and just go... Oh, dear. Wait, what the hell? Oh, you went to jail, dude. That's what you get for being a landlord, dude. True. Truly a communist game. How's that? You could easily squeeze through those bars on the corner right there. Are you kidding me? No, dude, I've gained some weight since classic came out. I can't. Wait, babe, you landed on... Wait, S-Venny, how do you lose balance for that, right? Yeah, dude, I lost balance for six months. Fuck! That was terrible. Wait, can I pay my way out? No, you can't pay your way out. Just click enter. Should have thought about these consequences before you broke the law. What are you doing? I want to trade. I want to trade my spot with somebody. You can only trade your cards. Oh, okay. Maybe you can hire me. Whoo! This game is so great, dude. Look at this game. I'll take it. Dude, this game sucks, dude. I hate this game. Here, you click enter so we don't have to watch the animation every time. No, no, I want to watch it. I hope. Yeah, for yours, I want to watch it. Well, dude... Dude, this community chest is terrible, dude. The only community worse than this is the classic Wacom community, unbelievable. Just get the screwed left and right, dude. Here we go. This should be good. Nice. And, dude. You just skipped... Skip. You just skipped the best roll-up. Oh, sh... Wait, what? Dude, this game... Dude. This game sucks, dude. How does this happen to me, dude? Try following the law, maybe? You fucking criminal. I didn't do anything wrong, dude. It's just discrimination. Yeah, okay. Save it for the judge, dude. I'm kicked up, boys. The dice hurt me. Ooh. Dude, a devil. Yeah, but now it's just getting scary to run around here. Yo, Espen, do you want to sell me that pink one you got before? A million dollars. Dude, Espen is eight. He is the definition of a used car salesman. He will not sell you any property. He's going to keep it unless you give him actually a thousand dollars each. I know how we eat this. What are you going to offer me? What are you going to offer me? You want four properties and a thousand. How much do you want for the pink one? How about 200 bucks? 500. 230. 500. 235. 600. Son, you're making this not fun, son of a gun. Stop telling people how to play the game. The whole point of this game is you're good and you don't tell other people how to play it. Espen, remember who your allies are, okay? True. Remember who gave you... Who didn't try to fuck you all over? The allies? Who? Who did not try to screw you over? Wait, what? I'll give you my railroad. You heard him. Bend over, pull down your pants, and give him it. Give him your pink. Look, I rolled a nine, okay? This nine is going to mean big things about you. Look at that fucking... I like how it hops. Wait, I owe a chance to own some real estate. Oh, I got a pink. No. Your hat looks so funny when it's like... Yeah, I know, I like it. I actually want to go to jail. Fuck! What's Nim's ethnicity? He's Chinese. Me, how? Shit, I'm really good at this game. You're about to get caught for speeding, buddy. But you don't pick the car, man. It's too fast. Stop it! You have nothing I want. You have nothing I want. You don't want the yellow? For what? I don't have a yellow. I do. You don't want a yellow so that you can use it as a negotiation piece with Hassan? Ooh. Or with me. Hold on. Fritz, Hassan, stop taking all my money. If you don't have my yellow, then you don't have control over Hassan and Nim. Whereas if you have that one yellow, now you have control over two people. I'm waiting to see who gets this flash orange and the red. And then we'll go for that. You right now have nothing I want. You can give me all of your other properties for the pink, and I'll... What about cold, hard cash? What about gift subs? Give me 10 subs, I'm out of here. What? This guy says... Let's go! This guy says Hassan is actually pissing me off, I'm leaving. Hassan hasn't said anything in like three minutes. I didn't say anything bad. No, you didn't say anything in like at least like three minutes. And this guy just randomly had no one pick us up. Yeah, the orange is gonna... It's the end of rag and plays Monopoly. I said I would play Monopoly, okay? I'm gonna go play WoW later. What the... Dude, jail is not that bad. Miss, I will give you a yellow and a white. If I was your partner manager, I would quit on you. Miss, I will give you a yellow and your white for a pink. So you have the white to give you... Open it up for a potential Monopoly. Your deals suck! And the yellow is a bargain. Hassan, the white is horrible for the worst creatures. I can't even talk to you, your deals are so bad. Listen to me. Miss good. Say yes. I want a Monopoly. I'll give you a card you don't even need. Do it. Thanks for the $10. He didn't even put TTS on it, dude. Oh, okay. You're actually a good team. Yes, I am. We are the same. I help you, you help me. It is okay. I will not take electric, but I need everything else. Everything. Look at the green. Look at the cool value. Everything but the green. What do you want to trade? No. Look at the difference. Like, he's laughing. Like, Hassan would have a used car shop, try to do big scans and then they fell through. They start laughing. Man, that's good. See, Miss, you're going to pay me anyway. You might as well just do something that you're going to get something out of it, too. But I'm offering you two things for one. Oh, shit. You hit S-Fan. No, S-Fan. Oh, plus 200, though. You must pay me. That's the pay for a new car. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. All right, S-Fan, roll a two for the walls. Roll a two for the walls. Okay, fine. Just kidding. I didn't kind of. Yay. I'm working 14. I need to play full rolls the entire time. You're saying that you'd love anime today. All right, Nemi. You're actually missing all of it. Nine. Is that safe? Uh-oh. Am I dead? Ooh. Oh, come on. Ooh. Ooh, a railroad, Hassan. Would you look at that? Ooh. At least you have something I'm interested in. This is so intense. It really is, Becca. Are you going to TwitchCon Amsterdam? Oh, I need to get my ticket, so I got a cool badge like that. Yeah, I'm going to go to TwitchCon. Nemi, if you had done the deal with me, you'd have money. S-Fan, can you also add, can you sweeten the deal with some cash? I'm broke. Well, let's see. Let's put it on the table. Let's look at it. Okay, look at this. S-Fan. Okay. Look at that. Because I'm trying to add both here. No, you didn't. Add both. Oh, that's why it was... Make it 50. Nemi, if you make this trade with S-Fan, he's going to win the game. Wait, what is this trade? No, he's not. No, he's not. Yes, he is. I'll do that. I'll do 100. I'll do 100. Let's take it. I'll let you give him the green. All right. Is this a fair trade? Get in there. I'm not giving him a monopoly. No, but now he can negotiate with Hassan. Well, I just bought the property I landed on. If Hassan gives him green, then we're fucked. Wait, what the fuck? I should have gone to S-Fan. I own it. I don't know what just happened. S-Fan's the number one rep paladin. Yeah, that is true. Fuck it. I just gave him back some of the money he used in the trade. Oh, well. Maybe if he's to sweeten the deal with some money. Nemi, give me 90 bucks, and I'll give you whatever you want. I mean, the only reason why I would give you money at this point is so you don't die. Hold on. Let's see. Ready? Fuck! Ooh, what is that? Fuck! Miss Kib, you should have, man, maybe if you just wanted to trade me nice early on, I'd give you the discount, dude. Man. All right, who am I trading with? With who? It's a four-way deal, so everyone needs to agree to it, or it doesn't work. Okay, are we all agreeing to this? Okay. For green, for the red? Yes. And then you give, and then Nim gives you the blue for my green. I was going to ask you for money, but now you're poorer than I am. Green for red. I guess the utility. I'll give you three bucks. Okay, so red for green. No, no, no, no, no, no. Well, of course it's not going to be just a red for green. Hassan, why not? Hassan, why not? Hassan, you get a monopoly, why would you not take that? Um, you know what? Sure. Sure. I'm giving you a whole street of monopolies. Yes, sure. I'll do it. Don't sound so defeated. This is awesome for you. I mean, it's awesome for you. I did it, Esfand. Okay. It's your turn. I got you the green you wanted. Okay. I should be a diplomat. It is a thing. I don't know if it's a good deal anymore. What the fuck? He's wrong with you. If anything, I should be asking for money from you. What are you going to do? I tried to ask you. I knew and thought Esfand was going to say that it's not good. Because he has your quarter, dude. Well, I'd rather just lose the game than he scammed deals from Esfand. I'd rather just go down. No, I did. I was joking, man. I was joking. Esfand is going to fucking destroy the Esfand. That's your chance for money. Esfand fucking won Esfand won. That's your chance. You guys are forgetting how hard it is to load the entire fucking game. Esfand's got the green property and he's got hotels already and a grand, dude. We have $200. Persians are great negotiators. Okay. Esfand literally like Iranian five-headed is working with everyone by the craziest things. And then like, that was the strat by Esfand was like, if I keep asking for insane deals, they'll say yes, eventually. You guys are forgetting how hard for RG this game is. Fuck. Oh, fuck. But even just landing on a fucking street now is expensive for me. I actually have to. You made three dollars. You got three dollars. I would say... Oh, okay. Please get me to go. If you hit me again, please hit me again. Oh, God, that might be... Oh, dude. I can't even afford this. Fuck me. He was so close. I would have... Oh, damn! Neverlucky, shut up. Dude, my water works, dude. And Esfand, I think it's still in. Fucking Esfand. That's where you're going. Master of going to jail. Esfand's not going to be able to get out of jail. I don't think I'm winning this. If we don't land on Esfand's property, he can't get out of jail. He literally can't pay for this. Shit, here's my roll. Wait, so what happens if he can't? I can sell my water works if I want to. No! It's really the worst of all trade deals of all negotiations. Feels good, man. He'll get out of jail now. That should keep you in the game. I still need four bucks. I'm going to get you brown. He's still four dollars for sure. Can anyone give me a Twitch Prime? You have 390, not 360. How about this? Give me one of your blues, and I'll give you 14 gold. 14 dollars. Why don't you sell one of your houses? Dude, what are you doing? I am, retard. Shut up. Oh, man. Hassan, you should have just bought the brown off them for really cheap. Yes, I'm a child. You're actually done, Hassan. Drive it up. Yeah, this is going to blow. You're done. You are fucked. You better pray right now. Take me to jail, take me to jail, take me to jail, take me to jail. More 10, more 10. What is that? 11. Oh, you lucky son of a... Yes, there he is! Yes, there he is! Let's go! Oh, dude. What is that? I need to not roll a six, eight, or nine. Six, eight, or nine. Here we go. Can we just end the game now? Six hundred, dude. Nice. There's some S-Fan M's. S-Fan M, easy six hundred, boys. Easy six hundred. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. Oh, my God, here we go. This could be it for Nim. This could be game. This could very much be game. Nim, you're gonna survive. Here we go. Nim, you're gonna survive. I'm giving you some of my skill. Six, I don't think that's gonna help. I think I'm dead. Nope, I'm... I told him! I told you, dude! I literally called him. I literally called him. I literally called him. Roll a two, roll a two, roll a three, roll a three, roll a three. I'm gonna roll like a five or something. Five! There you go, you're welcome. Yes, you're welcome. I'm looking insane! Are you cheating? How is that even possible? I'm not cheating! He's a god. S-Fan's a fucking god at this game. Dude, I'm telling you, it's all skill. I'm not playing with you ever again. You have to roll again. Look at him do his little push-ups. He's gonna roll a one. Someone's gonna manage to roll a one. I hope I go to jail. Hit me with a five. Eight or nine? Ten, five or ten. And we're cooking. Five or ten. You landed on me. Dude. These blues that everybody said sucks. Really, really working out well for me right now. What the fuck do I do now? Once capital is allocated and only a few hands, the rest of society and subsequently the working class crumbles. Oh, no. Just the way I planned it. Oh, it's just that one, though. I'm Genecreek, but Justin is up for two months. Dude. Skip him. Are you alright? Are you fucking kidding me? Dude, Nims was barely getting by for the last four rounds. I've never been so stressed out. I hate it. S-Fan, please land on me. I can come back. I don't feel so stressed out because the game is so fucking badly designed that I can't even get upset if I lose it. Well, yeah, like the last patch of Monopoly was really bad. It's like losing a coin toss. Oh, God. What? You landed on income tax. Taxation is theft. Unbelievable. Bitch, you have $2,000. Shut up. You're just doing overkill. You used some of them. S-Fan, what are you doing? I mean, you already won the game. You didn't build a single- Oh, no, no. It's good stuff, dude. I love this game. This is great. And it's- I don't even have- I have one. Oh, my God. I got a roll of two or nine. Okay, just go, just go. It's game over. Oh, dude. Oh, never mind. Oh, that's the notorious misgift electric company that literally everyone has landed on. I mean, half the fucking game is on mortgage right now. Ha ha ha ha ha. Miscift electric company. Dude, everybody lands on this every day. How many misgifts does it take to screw in the lightbulbs? How is this actually possible? How is it actually possible where everyone has skipped me? Not one person. Six, please? Fuck. So lucky. Good roll. Two months. I'm gonna lose to a community chest, dude. Does he call me? He's actually gonna lose because of this. Ring around the rosy. We're just walking around in S-Fan's circus at this point. Yeah, no shit. Yo, not to be like that, but it's literally capitalism, okay? Miscift. I thought you were the only guy. You're so stupid. Give me $750. Ha ha ha ha. $123 just reserved for six months. How do I? Just send the deal. Now the ball's in my court, huh? Wait, just accept it. Just accept it. Just accept it. Please, please. Man, that is a good deal. That's a good looking deal. I have literally nothing. Please, I will come to your house right now and I will kick the shit out of you live. Please. Man, I don't know, dude. Give me $750. Do you deserve this, Miscift? S-Fan, you should win the game fair and shit. Fair and square, which is my acceptance deal, right? No, it's not. Because this is abusing the game mechanics that there's fucking timer on it. Dude, he's a place power and that's all he does. Come on. Two or four? What is seven? Let's see what's seven. It's S-Fan, so it's not good. Are out of the game, dude. I've never been more tensed in my entire life playing a video game. Dude, you played like three video games before that. What's my shit? Hey, I'm doing the bathroom real quick. S-Fan won 8k, right? I'm a professional Tarkov player. Wait, what are you doing? I'm giving you guys my stuff. This is worse than a lab run. I'm giving you half and I'm giving him half. Damn, you're sacrificing yourself. Yeah, you gotta take him down for me. I love you, buddy. Wait, no, give me all three of their oranges. Are they mortgage? No, give me all three of your oranges. How do I offer this? Give me all three of your oranges. Wait, I don't know if I can afford this dollar. Wait, what? What's time to take you down? Wait, what? Let's take S-Fan down. Wait, what? Well, I almost said fuck you with Son. That just comes naturally to me. Do I beep one? Go back three phases. One, two... That's fine, that's fine. Oh, dude, you are so lucky, dude. You've gotten so lucky. I've gotten lucky, retard. Mine was skill. That was luck for you. Oh, yeah, I forgot. What's your offer? S-Fan, I'm going to give you a deal that you wanted me to give you a while ago. I'll give you all my properties for a dollar. How many dollars? Really? He beat us the entire game and you're going to sell out to S-Fan after he defeated us the entire game? For him! You declared bankruptcy? I hope you had some fun, at least. What? I gave you four. You gave him everything when he declared bankruptcy, miss? You gave him the entire board, miss. I just gave you five monopolies now. Miss! You have five monopolies now. I'm going to keep the mortgage on this one. Oh, my goodness. You handed us on the game, dude. Just kidding, he misses you. That's insane, dude. Oh, my gosh, the water works. It's insane, dude. Dude, right in the middle, dude. Five, seven, eight. I need a ten. How do you do this? Oh, my gosh, you see it? Yes! I said this game isn't good. I know this is so much. Oh, here. I need a really, really big roll. Seven. What was seven? Was I seven? I was seven! Oh, my gosh, dude. Saved! Taskid Noah, shut the fuck up. Have you never played Monopoly? Stop saying pay off mortgages. What a stupid fucking concept, dude. What am I going to make 18? It didn't turn us on. Oh, I'm done. It's over. Game over. This was fucking awful, dude. I mean, it's not a good cap. Hassanabe's not a good capitalist. I will fuck your mom, okay? I will fuck your mother. You piece of shit. Fuck you. Good game. Oh, there it is. There it is, boys. What the... It was a terrible game. You can't beat your justice for four months. He was... You literally danced... That's right. Nuclear preacher, thank you for the four months. Grant with five giga tubs. Grant, thank you, dude. Thank you so much, dude. He's an I beefed him. I mean, I bought a bunch of fucking houses. I just... It's not... This is what you don't understand. Like, at a certain point, it stops being RNG, right? Because you can't get... You can't get that lucky that many times. You just can't. You skipped. You skipped. You skipped all of my properties every single time. And then you went to jail. That's not even... I don't even know what that is. That's not even RNG. That's like something entirely different. It's called skill. That's what it is. That's what the entirely different thing is called. It's skill.