 what's up guys i've literally fucked up my hair for this video i look like a slapper also if you can just like appreciate the little detail on the eye makeup it's often me doctor who thing if you get the reference i like you um if you don't i like doctor who um yeah today i'm celebrating hitting 3k and i'm taking my big camera with me but obviously it's like all sorts of vlog on the underground so little mini cameras coming too we hit 3k i was gonna film a clip and i vlog this like outside but it cold and i dressed like a slapper so no i almost hit one at my uni though i was so tempted to just jump in there like i'm a kid yeah i'd definitely get injured if i try to walk in there with you the highest development so far hey guys so i know that yesterday i was supposed to film this i got a bit anxious and a lot happened and i'm gonna make a whole video explaining that that's not what this video is about this video is a positive thing the end i had to like kind of stop vlogging yesterday and i got a bit upset filming the day after we hit 3k which is a big fucking deal i can't even explain like thank you for giving me the platform and i know 3k is nothing compared to some people do you know what i've never had in the aspirations to do like youtube for time or whatever i do it for fun i do it because i enjoy doing it i like talking about things i like raising awareness it's what i enjoy doing i hit 2k at the beginning of this year um i took a break this year i got a sectioned a few times this year my head life when given i'm getting called paranoid kind of explained what happened yesterday um like i said i will make a video talking about that i'm doing a Q and A this channel wouldn't be possible without you so what better way to celebrate hitting 3k than to do it with you have my trusty diet go i haven't heard my horrible milkshake thing yet today because i didn't want to be looking at a screen i wrote down every question i got asked so the first question comes from vlogging with lexie what inspires you so in life this is gonna sound really like self-obsessed or whatever but myself i keep myself going in my own life to do youtube my biggest inspiration was watching youtubers i've watched youtube now for over 10 years i've made videos for over 10 years i got a puppy ever since i got my first camera i've made video which i was six when i got my first camera and it broke no we're wrong i broke it but uh being creative in itself is something that really keeps me going i love being creative i wrote a book in the description i make videos pretty much daily i do a film degree i'm currently planning a going around the world tour thing holiday next year for the summer so i've been in the world i'm just crossed i actually have the money to do it so i'm like i might do it and i'm excited this is a question that i am answering in an upcoming video you don't want to get lost a ton of weight i haven't but of course i'm wondering how you're doing with grass you're eating soda the issue is if i did not record the medication that i'm on really really really suppresses my appetite to a point where i don't get hungry my gp prescribed these milkshake things that kind of supplement food and i'm trying my best to keep weight up like i'm just snacking occasionally which is helping keep up i'm trying guys i don't want to fall back into eating soda habits but i also do want to lose a bit weight because i'm actually currently at my highest weight and it scares me so i am trying to lose a little bit weight but i'm trying to do it healthily i'm not intentionally skipping meals or anything i'm through various vlogs what are your thoughts on mental illness trending due to stigma in films making it seem like it's a cool thing so i think a good example of this would be split a youtuber called dissociated um who has dissociative identity disorder talked about how split impacted that community and i think that video explains that very also i'll link that video in the description down below also go subscribe to work so i like it my opinion is i think it needs to stop i think if you're gonna use mental illness in films you should research it and know about it brian mccawley does knowing you are able to inspire people and make them feel less alone make it easier to live with your illness does it make it easier to live with illness no does it help yes i made a video about a year ago saying i'm not an inspiration and i still stand by that video because i'm not right if i'm sat on the floor cutting my arms open i'm not an inspiration i'm struggling if you're interested in that video i'll try and remember to link that in the description down below see marie on youtube do you find youtube has been a form of therapy for you in addressing mental health definitely i found making videos and documenting my life has made it easier from me and i know some people have asked me saying it not really helped so i presume it helps you guys too so yeah james kink easy me yeah what's the best comment you've seen from someone you've helped with your videos there's been a lot i got a message the other day and i'm not going to put on screen but it was it was basically someone saying how they got told about my videos from someone in hospital and how it helped give them motivation and it was serenity was on the phone i was like honestly it made me such it made me feel so good and i can't even explain how amazing that was step hunter do you agree with putting pineapples on pizza no zoe marie xox vlogs what's the most irritating symptom of your mental illness and why i'm gonna have to say dissociator associating is horrible to live with it's really hard and i've made a lot of videos recently and there's a whole playlist on my channel about dissociation and whatever so i'm not gonna get too into that but i'll link that playlist in the description i've got a lot to link in the description i hope i remember favorite movie so my favorite movie of all time is gill interrupted the light holder have any of your sewers at attempts caused trauma a ha ptsd yes i posted a video about my last attempt on my second channel and my second channel is always linked at the end of my videos but i'll also link this video in the description down below it's not something i'm on palmy main channel because it's too it's too triggering yes my last attempt caused a lot of northern explore act how long have you done youtube so kind of professionally a year i've done it for 10 years then it never really went anywhere i just did it for something to do back in the day now i do excited love doing it um so this channel i've had for four years i've tried i don't know for one two years what are your future plans for the channel from stay by my side i don't know next year i'm gonna be starting a series where i talked a little bit about like different cultures of mental health which is going to tie into me traveling around the world mini mickey how do you eat and disorder impact on the relationship with serenity serenity always says that as long as you eat around me it doesn't matter but i feel really bad because i'm like i don't want to degree like get down and puffy and disorder but i can't bring myself to eat at the moment because i feel physically sick with it and i get a bit scared that it's i get a bit scared that serenity doesn't want to tell me if it's effective i don't know serenity you deny it but i reckon it does bother her awkwardly came what inspired you to start making videos on youtube so i've always made videos since i got a camera i first started uploading as soon as i discovered youtube was i think and shani asks what's your favorite thing about living in london and how has it impacted your anxiety so i love living in london i had i've got an amazing support system i enjoy living down here it has impacted my anxiety a lot because i have to get on the underground um last three years i haven't gotten public transport so it's definitely impacted that um what live and learn you know have you faced stigma with having mental illness yes quite a lot what's the best way way to cope when you're not doing well this was asked by jesse jesse is a youtube channel i'll link in the description if i remember um yeah i faced a lot of stigma with it mainly because i'm diagnosed with bpd and as i'm presuming a lot of you know what it is there's a lot of stigma although i've faced a lot a lot of stigma my best way to cope when i'm not doing well is to isolate myself funnily enough if i isolate myself i have a few like days to regroup find my head and i get back on track live vlogs why did you decide to write a book i was in hospital i didn't have much to do my phone was constantly dying so i wrote down everything that was going on and i was like i could put this in a book and i released my uh i'm now adding to my book so edition two end of the month you know first of the edition link in the description frank satay what is the most interesting diagnosis to read about i enjoy reading about dissociative identity disorder yeah i find it really interesting and i could say that youtube is called dissociative dissociated talks about their experience with living with dissociative identity disorder and it's so interesting i then fell down as viral and i started watching but the youtubers who talk about it i watched like documentaries and i've also had a book about it so ask the answer what are your plans for 2019 for yourself and your channel so 2019 i want to travel and in traveling i want to then talk about mental health around the world based on the culture and their beliefs and i really want to get into that but i want to do it while i'm in the country not sat for my like bedroom in london you know what advice would you give to others who must struggle in for mental illness speak to someone research educate yourself on it know what you're dealing with don't self-diagnose i made i have a website actually i made an entire page talking about this um i'll leave a link to my website down below not blog it's a it's a website i can't do blogs what does friends mean to you people who are there and supportive not backstabbing cunts like the people i've been problems with are you afraid of change if not how do you come changed i love change i absolutely love change like i move into london big change didn't impact slightly i enjoyed it i love every moment of it i like adventuring i like trying new things i'm very into change why's my phone ringing do you answer all your comments unfortunately no i don't have the time to sit and go for every comment but like i do live streams every monday 9 p.m british time and we talk and i talk to you guys and i message you on like twitter and facebook whatever i don't have time to sit and answer every comment i get because i get over 4 000 views a day and if i was to add for that i get like what 100 comments a day i don't have it sounds like i don't have the time to do that because i do a degree i'm writing a book i have it where i'm set to run i do youtube i have to do and i live in london so i don't have the time to sit and answer every comment i really wish i did yeah so sit right right here my beautiful girlfriend ask oh this girl who wants to turn how much do you love me a lot support youtube it's like i want to say this one this is a facebook group for like small youtubers and whatever and to support each other i love this group it's so amazing i've made i've met so many people through it and i talk to so many people from that i'll try and remember to link it in the description but the question the one of the admins laugh how far have you gone regarding your mental and emotional health very like and you said kind of a comparison so i'm going to quickly tell you a clip from earlier this year that's in videos on this channel everything in my life that i had going on it's kind of just crashed and been in the space of a month and i'm not even being dramatic when i say that like i got arrested and i've been kicked out of uni i'm going to be homeless in a month i've got no money i don't have any food everything in my life it's just completely in regards to how much my life has changed i am now stable four months but within four months guys i live in london i'm very happy i'm in a good relationship i have supportive people around me and i'm just positive that sounds bad i'm a lot more positive than i used to be what is one thing that really helped you overcome your obstacles completely and utterly moving away to a completely different area i know one knows me cater out what's on your bucket list to travel the world and i'm working on it child of god how do you cope with mental illness on a daily basis just by taking my meds that helps a lot my mom phoned ej money murray i don't know do you think therapy is something everyone should go to at least once if they need to yeah definitely i think therapy is very beneficial for people when they need it what are your thoughts on medication to treat mental illness if it's needed it's needed it helps some people have good reactions some people have bad reactions i have a part this on my website which i'll link in the description down below but netweaver why is mental health not taken as seriously as physical illness both can be detrimental they both can be detrimental but they are both very different i don't like the comparison between mental illness is just as important physical illness because if you're physically and well it can literally like that can change your life mental illness yes it can change your life but in different ways and mental illness there's a lot more medication for like if you're diagnosed with cancer this is a terrible comparison but if you're diagnosed with cancer there's less treatment options than there are for say schizophrenia yes they one can lead to suicide and whatever but it's not going to directly kill you give me a lip and more what is the best way is to treat mental illness medication or counseling i think both i think both work well together if one works for one one works for the other one doesn't work the other one doesn't work it is dependent on the person for me therapy is pointless it doesn't help medication does help so frida sofia what is the most common misconception about mental health conditions annoy you the most it's not real that always no or you're doing it for a turn churn or it's your own fault if you could change anything about your passport would it be my ex killing himself i mean i'm like i said i'm not an associate pal uh i changed that what consoles do you own and what games do you play i have a ps3 because you know i'm up to date in everything i like playing half-life and portals and gta and beyond two souls i like that game too um so the rest of this vlog is now going to review um sorry i can say it's a bit if you're new here hit the subscribe button hit the like button let us hit 5k by the end of the year guys let's do it help me do it help me reach the goal if you want to read my book it's linked in the description down below if you want to find my website link to the description loads of things linked in the description if you have more questions leave them down below and i very have to do q&a's whatever i also want to start doing like advice videos so if you want advice on anything let me know in the comments and and i'll do it live streams out every Monday at 9 p.m. British time i think it's GMT at the moment i don't know the clock's all changed yesterday's vlog is going to review and there's not much footage to it i'll explain it all in a video later on next week or in the live stream i'll explain it in the live stream i'm gonna go because i've got appointments this afternoon and i'll speak to you later peace it's harder to do that on this camera i don't like using this camera oh this was supposed to be a positive happy vlog why don't you just walk down my lecture with the point I could tell you and now i'm crying and now i've got to go and see my gb what the f*** is that he's a f***ing bitch that's what i can say oh i'm looking quite what's up guys i'm currently on the way to my gb i'm gonna film the q&a thing after this i don't know emotions get everything breaking down crying is apparently a thing that i did in the middle of a lecture ended walking out i didn't i waited until i was um there's doing a screening so the room's like i just got up and left i sent my lecture email saying okay uh kinder than the panic attack anxiety i just couldn't i don't even know why i couldn't deal with it