 Ya, mamu misimu imbiyake. My calling is here with you. At White 5 for Facebook, at White 5 for channel, on Twitter. Good morning. My name is Valentine or at color me, Val. And the hashtag is why in the morning. I told you today, it's Queen's Wednesday yes, but we are hosting a king. And he's king with a purpose. I'm quite excited. I hope you are as well. And it's gone all romantic again. But manu, na joan katu kunfanevi tamia, birthday mantu. I see you. I see you very well. Well, hashtag is why in the morning. Maybe we give the king a chance to introduce himself. Hello. Hello. How are you? Ah, no, no, no, no. All that energy I've used to introduce you, you're just going to give me like that. No, good morning. I'm Jeff. There we go. And you've changed. I see you have your paraphernalia with you. Yes, yes, yes, yes. This is my paraphernalia as you call it. Yes, present father. All right, so Jeff, if you did not know, has a, I want to call it a cause. Can I call it a cause? That but present fatherhood and all these things. Yeah, yeah, you can call it a cause. Yeah, hence present, hence YouTuber who changed. Did you have children with the thought of starting such content or did it just happen? Like, oh, sayen konwatuwe. Hmm, what to do, what to do? Let's just put them on YouTube. Wow. There is no something that I've thought about before. But once I had kids, there's a period that my wife was working and had to stay home full time as the dad. And it is through that experience that I realized it is not easy to be apparent. Like what women go through in terms of nurturing the baby is a very difficult job. And I thought, well, how about I showcase this out there to young guys and just tell them that it's possible to be in the life of your kid and nurture because something can happen. The woman can fall sick and you have to be there full time but they can also run away. And when they do, you will be the one who will have to do it. So that's how the YouTube came about. Was it voluntary? Like, did you sit down with your wife and say, okay, we'll end the job, Allah fumini bakiaapa for some time. Let's do this. Is that something you agreed on? Well, we realized that you're going to have a baby when you were in campus just when you were supposed to do our last exam. No, Koruka, I'm so proud of you, Jeff. Good job. Thank you. So that is when we realized and then we had to sit down and talk. Actually, we did the test together. I remember it was on her hostel. Then we were like waiting, okay, how many? Two lines. Then we decided, okay, we have to sit down and decide what are we going to do after this. But the good thing, we didn't have jobs. But the good thing, she found a job. Immediately after we cleared, actually she was called before we even cleared. So somebody had to remain behind with the baby. I was the one because I didn't have any job at the time. So that's how it began. You're saying it very lightly, but you're an African man. In the years that I'm living and the way I'm seeing this life, there's some things maybe perhaps would not sit very well with an African man. We do kama kwa kwa nyumba. How many me in the old school? I don't know, but there's some people I don't think would entertain the idea of being a stay at home dad. Absolutely, you're right. Yeah, so why are you different? You're right, you're right. Actually, that is what inspired me to actually film it and have it on YouTube so that other people can see that times have changed and the time that women were at home are changing. Women are also they have been empowered. That's why they go to school. They are educated, they are getting their masters, their PhDs. So I found it very it doesn't make sense for a woman with all those things to be at home seated and yet they can be out there earning even more than you are earning. So it is a matter of two people sitting down and talking and getting to understand that what do we have here? Let's put the cuts on the table. What makes sense? So would it make sense for you to have your wife quit her job which is earning probably three times what you're earning so that you just feel like a man and you're out there to work. It doesn't make sense. Because at the end of the day bills have to be paid and if you put your ego in front of what the reality is then you lose the sense. But Mwanaume the head of the family is doing all these things. Yes, that is true but Mwanaume see what you bring Mwanaume in fact we've got it wrong that submission can only be earned submission from a woman can only be earned through power and wealth. Apoka wealth. Yes, and yet it is wrong. Submission is like respect it is earned and the only way that it can be earned because if you pin it to wealth and money that can go away any time and it can go away in various ways maybe you can get an accident and you're unable to provide as they say what will happen then then you lose your identity as a man so to speak from other areas that means getting involved in the family. Your purpose once again is present fatherhood and I should probably ask you questions about your children but the way you're handling responsibilities as a father is amazing me. Thank you. There is a culture in the world where when Mwanaume may be pre covid and for example the couple have a baby Mwanaume uta mwanaume bebom tuoto Akuna, uende tuki dogo dogo then you see some woman then you see the baby umeshkilia moja upa moja kwaisei di kime then you're trying to cross the road that for the first time flawed me. I've never seen something like that and then to see you an African translating it to at home but how do we help our young boys not think of fatherhood as a burden nasa kapa nishment boi akisama oh nene me shkabo it seems like a death sentence why was it different for you? How can we help them? That is what angered me so much actually when I grew up my fox passed on when I was 12 I'm sorry and then my aunt took me in really if she's watching I'm really grateful for that so she's actually the one who trained me into taking responsibility and doing this stuff that traditionally actually the main aim of the YouTube channel also is to showcase men jumping into this traditionally roles that were meant for the women and that is the major thing actually that I want to showcase out there and because it really doesn't make sense women are really our burden and you can imagine a scenario where you are here you are working and maybe you have somebody that you are dating or your husband and then you have kids both of you are going to work then you arrive home him is seated watching TV and you start another job it doesn't just make sense to me I think it shouldn't make sense to anybody out there so once you get home actually when you are working and you are busy doing your job you are like a robot and you don't get time for each other and this time that you are at home when you are involved in the house chores it can be a time for you actually to spend time together whether it is cooking she doesn't have to cook anything you can cook something there are other things that you can also do and by the end of the day you find that you are able to spend time together and help one another as opposed to when she is the one who is doing everything then at the end of the day she still comes to bed you still want other things so it is too much and that is what needs to change especially if you are to realize equality and gender that is a dream Afrika it is a dream but I want to break it down just a little bit further because for example I have heard ladies being classified as kuna wa ushago kuna atau watao sasa umdo kere rewa o karias du ni ni ni ni ni what sasa I hear those make very good sidechicks because sasa ushago kwa kwa efi anajua kazi ake ni jikon ni naiso vitro it has nothing to do with us but maybe somewhere just does not want the responsibility of certain things I really want you to paint a picture of fatherhood the way you see it because I can see you are so happy to be a dad have you seen his videos he just gets excited please help me translate that at least at least at least at least at least at least because when you started out as a parent you were also in a rock or hard place type of situation help me paint a good picture well fatherhood is great that is what I can say fatherhood is amazing and first of all you have to accept once you get the news that you are going to be a father it varies on circumstances for example I got the news when I had nothing normally it is expected that you are prepared that you have the finances sought out you have accommodation and all those things and many times those are the things that make people run away when they hear that they are going to be a dad because this is a responsibility for life but that is what also hit me that oh my goodness there your wife is telling you that you have seen that she is positive and you are wondering what does this mean when the reality sets in and you are seeing that this is a responsibility for a long time and you also have to ask yourself do you want to be in the life of this woman for the rest of your life plus again you have no choice whether you are with her or not your lives are already entangled but the good thing is that me I wanted to be with her for the rest for the rest of the time I wanted to be with her kwa Buddha is a wonderful thing there is a time that I used to see old guys back in the village where I was growing up and they really used to give a lot of respect to somebody who is a dad and I used to wonder when dads were seated and somebody who is not a dad and he comes and is told and the respect will increase according to the number of children you had and I used not to understand it until I became one and I realized this is actually a big deal it is actually a big deal and it's a beautiful thing and what I will tell Jama out there is that being a father is the most amazing stuff and the reason why it is is because as you watch your child grow it tells you how much how time moves by the way me and me I am still the same person when I meet my friends we are still the same people we still make the same jokes but when I look at my kids it's been now 3 years they were like this now they are talking and they are running around this is how much time has moved and it's a beautiful thing to watch and they grow they never remain the same in the next 10 years I will be seeing another different thing and again it also gives you an opportunity to instill whatever you want there are your children nobody will come and try and tell you do this, do that the one who has the powers to program them so to speak the way you want and it's a beautiful thing somebody that looks up to you that is the only thing that makes God God the fact that you are able to bow down and worship that is what makes him God and you have the same opportunity where somebody is just atkabuna mess ya ya na bambika too so and that's why many people regret later many people that run they only think at the moment they don't look at it long term and once time has elapsed and this person has turned out because like I said they don't remain the same and they have grown that's when the person is like wow I wish I was here right now I'm not together with my family the COVID happened and we were separated they are back in Embu that must be hard it is very hard thank you but it has been 2 months almost I think almost 3 months right now but the change that has happened I feel like I've missed a lot ya the change that has happened the younger one left when he was walking with stuff but right now he's running ya he's running so that tells you how much I've missed I like the way that you measure time okay how do you relate to your children do you talk do you speak life into them don't do this or do you tell them okay you supposed to do this no it's good to do this I do this because of this are you conversant with your children you talk to them as people you talk to them as children how does it work me first of all I think I want to be friends to my kids I think my type of parenting actually it's good to have both parents raising the kids because you are totally different people and you have different styles of parenting my wife is the strict type the ones who buy the book it's either you do this this way and these are the consequences but for me I'm more or less freestyle raising kids in a natural way so even if it is speaking like you are saying I speak to them like they are an adult that's good because this thing that you are a child and therefore you are just commanded around and I've been having discussions with other dads we have a community of dads and we've been discussing something about how are we raised that we like to be different what are the things that we like to be changed and one of those things is how we were spoken to if you treat if you treat a child like an adult and you are speaking they feel valued instead of of course you have to break the language and how you speak to them at their level you can't speak to them more or less like the language of an adult but you make them feel as if they are valued and that way they are able to build their confidence because confidence is key that is what makes somebody survive out here it's not the degree that you have we have people who have degrees and past classes but the confidence is just lacking somebody prepares for an interview for days but once he arrives for that interview he just doesn't know what to say kwa za kizungo you left apatukwam lango start going to the interviewer and it's because of lack of confidence and that thing starts from from when they are young just affirming them and affirming every time and affirming happens by you making them feel valued and how do you make them feel valued by how you speak to them like sometimes there's these things called fonts sometimes you're on your phone and I see it with my kids sometimes and he's small and even how he's able to do that so on my phone he comes and he wants my attention so he's trying to speak trying to respond to him as I'm looking at my phone he actually grabs the phone and puts it down Daddy I'm talking to you Ah that's so sweet So that tells you that these are not little things that you think they are actually human beings that want to feel valued just as anybody else so sometimes when you are on your phone you don't feel the confidence you don't feel the confidence like uh uh listen exactly okay so we we have established that God is good but what happens if for example again I'm just going to just name a random boy child or their boy child kapa tami mba nam to maybe they didn't really want to spend their rest of their lives with how can they be the best dad they can be without necessarily causing strain in the relationship kus maybe I type kana mamaki ama wali kawa kajaribu aiku eza so for whatever reason or for whatever circumstance they are separated but how can he continue being the best without being called a dead bitch kapa tami mba nam to kajaribu kajaribu kajaribu kajaribu kajaribu kajaribu kajaribu kajaribu kajaribu kajaribu kajaribu kajaribu kajaribu kajaribu kajaribu kajaribu kaza na kusama kusama kwa dehisi iiimiki kata kawiki waka kama kusama kajaribu kajaribu він kwa kata kama kawiki kwa kata kunikia kawiki kawiki kama kakokutu kakikaki kakakilinu ttk yinusikinu kwa kata kikaki Mwenima m valued hearing kusana uhu kusana ki cutiuch sinsiki kwauni ya mwenishi kwaiki We find that I bet my baby, I use to bet my baby, I use to massage, if you watch the video you will see all those stuff. This can only happened when the women gave us a chance, the opportunity, Kwekwa na nga unha patanga, unha Bebam turu na mamu koco, Su tam wangutia si su tam gunsya, they are just too protective It also takes them to be open and just give you the opportunity, like a trust too. Like, oneeza pato, oneeza samati, oneeza tambia your wife that, where you end up, where you end up minta bakinam, toi mi am in charge. But they are just still worried, you know. Uta pigiwa ma simu kama ma ramiya. Okay, staza, but wali mtuwa kwa tumbo. Exactly, exactly. So that is what I will ask them. Let them be free, let them trust that this is the father. The father wants the best for the kid. The same way you feel for that child is the same way the father feels for him or for her. So give them the opportunity and trust them. And because as opposed to you people, you get attached immediately, you know, the child is conceived and you carry them for nine months. By the time you give, umesha kwa connected. Oh, you need time. As we need to start from that time that you're pregnant. We need to work with you to the clinics so that we get connected. You know. By the time you give, umesha kwa attached. Now you get me excited about this phase of my life. Nili kwa no gopa, gopa ni kiyone 18, but I like how you're talking, my friend. Thank you. So if it happens that you are not together, just talk. Musa problem zenyu. Musa me okay. As we did not work, that happens. Shit happens. It's okay. But we have kids. You know. Do you want to be in the life of this kid? It was a thing. You know. Mama came up back. And when the answer is yes, I want to be in the life. How do we make it work? You know that you soon maybe you'll be in another relationship. I'll be in another relationship. How do you make make these things work? How do you make sure that you as a father you are present? And you know many a times madam when I'm the younger present, in a manisha to do. Do you want to be in the life of this kid? As we did not work, that is why I wanted it work. If it happened, we might have another relationship. How do you make it work? How do you make it work? You know. I want to be in the life of this kids. Then we will know each other. Thank you. na tanadutumatufumatu wa tanadutumatu m posible hissa ita weldold Figure 1 ita yazeicans kye skwa kabat kol kwa hembu killed kwa kinih Ngailing kwa wa tamuhta kwa kierunu ni gwiyubuza satisfaction na m flexible matuput dashi engalwadi yubu za wuja agungw Although trainings kupolo So, how often will this father be visiting? Atakwa na chukum tuwake wa nanda kuhu, nanda out, nanda kutembea, na kwa na efo the weekend, such things. You know, we have celebrities like Shafiweru. People are doing... He's a very present father. Yeah, we are doing co-parenting and it's working perfectly. We have another amazing dad, Ted Josiah, who we all know a story who has been raising the daughter for a very long time. And those are just a few examples that shows you that the role that a father can play in the life of their children. That's very... Weh, okay. Apo tuturudi tu wimat, kiri vastu ki dogo mali tukotunongelia elders and how, you know, in a traditional African home, or at least how I have seen it being lived. Dadi simtu wakongelia ya ati story. Yes. Dadi kwenza kaziakeni kwinge usiku, but kafiu. Anyway, anengi kwa usiku. Afungwa gazeti, yanasoma, nasoma, nasoma. Asube na tokambelea kwa kabulatu wamke wende shulea shandoka. Amawu tokambelea ke. But heza wei na kutana tu for five minutes maybe time ya kukula. Ya kwa ya kwendakulala na ya ke ya kwingesakwa numba. And... Ata boy child wengine wengine mongia na be like, eh dadi kaziakeni wuna muitisha pesa. Yes. Nani kumpangaseti kumuitisha tu. Dadi sumitu me, tuka 20kendiu, at least tu me 10kendiu. Yes. Aukona takaya yote, but ya, so, dads have never really been bro, rada. Akiu dema na ni sumboa. Akiu na ni meshkamemba. What do I do? They've been more of, eh, sa, how are you sa? And if he becomes a father right now, suddenly, how can we convince him there's a different way? Asha zohia ibo? Asha zohia ti... But in fact, ya taku ata nongelisha mti toki mwambia ni na bakia kumbuki akimongelisha. How can you, how can we ask them to adopt something that they've never experienced? There's something that I always say many a times. And it's about intentionality. Being intentional. There are things that we were not raised. Even me, there are things that, like I grew up with my aunt, there was no dad, there was no father figure in my life. But there are things that I had to be intentional in terms of seeking. And that takes me to another point of information. Men, we don't seek information in terms of what is, how do we, do you dad? Not everybody is born knowing some certain things. And we always rely on copy pasting. But did you like it that way? That is another thing. That is what you should ask yourself. Do you like that baba kutunu akulizwa tu do? There's more that you always wanted. You wanted to sit with this jamaa akwebeshtakum bongim chape story. But that did not happen. So copy pasting that, you're just doing the same thing. And that's why we end up with generational stuff. Stuff that do not end. And you are the one who can end it by seeking information and asking yourself what type of dad do I want to be? What type of dad? It helps when you plan that before. But again, kuna zile situations like you're saying, zime kushitu wa tu mejipara tuwe ni dadi. But at that point, we should absorb your shock what type of dad do I want to be. Then you ask yourself, what dad did I have? What are the things that I like that I would like to maintain? Then what are the things that I didn't like that I would like to change? How do I change them? I seek for information. Google is my friend. Google, you ask people that I've been better dads and what have they been doing. And then that is what you now take and use. But we don't seek information. I would have tangi information out there as far as. I'm not a guy, but is it because perhaps nona already kutafita pesa ni naf? It's like anything else that you're being asked for is too much. It's already in me leta pesa, already in me ka clinic, already in me pesa jini ni. What else do you want from me? Is it possibly? You should ask yourself if I didn't do those things will the world umtata nda less kuna wini nmru kawengi na wa atroba dwa me grow na me kuwa. So ina manisha pesa is not the most important thing but as much as wali grow they end up having certain issues in life that meant that if you were there those issues will have been corrected. So it means that the money is not the most important thing. You are presence. Na kuna kitu ni nkwa na sema nkwa na taku sema ni me ikumvuka. Um as a father um na faw kwa wule buda wini na yon do kitu kila mututu anazataka and this is for black fathers african fathers, black fathers around the world we need to to be friends with our kids and that means that you need to teach them your hustle. Kama for example kuna kuna producer, kuna cameraman na yon do job hasoli ako. You should be proud to the extent that you teach your kid that stuff. Ata kama ni apa jobumem later. You know once in a while so that they grow in it. If you look at ma rich guys they train their kids into what they do. So that because they want to do it for a while na kumaliza the kid will be the one will take over. And how? You know sis sis we were growing up and wujiwa da buda gana wajanga kazi gana. Kazi ya kitu beba gazeti na kubasutu. Wujiwa ngi wu na juwa nga du dade lenda job. Job. Asole ya kiu tambui. Tambui kabisa. Then all of a sudden kisha fika 18num fika 21 you were expected to start hustling yourself. As if there was a manual. Yes, you didn't even you didn't even learn it. But kumbe you are suffering in silence. You didn't even learn it. But all of a sudden wu na expect you to be independent. Tenwa wato wana kumbe ziha kumafanya nini kai mumba. You are 21, you are 25, you are 20 wu na fanya nini. Endu wasole. Na haku kufundisha ta hiu kuhasole. There is where it starts. And you become friends, you treat them as equals. Wataka na yu menda hasole. Nakujiwa na ona na ona na villi studio na fanya kazi nini nini. Wengine buda ako na fanya nga airport. Buda ako na fanya nga na wu jai kanyaga iso maia. It is a disservice to your child. Meskili atu hewani. Yes. Kono eginata mga buda wafaji kazi kuno amesha einda wuku. So, that is and what it will do to that kid is amazing. Sazili ame kuja pali buda kia na fanya kazi Misha ona mtu hii mene buda kia tana enda shanga lori. Alafu wu buda kia mikuja na yu lori muta ame pakap. Mutu yaku proud. Hozo na mbe kila. Mtu ni dandi. Hey, gariya. Hey, gariya babayangu. You know? The kid is happy. There are some people who never understand some things here. There are some people. Yes. So, if you bring them to your work, you know, show them your asshole, teach them, they get interest and once they get interest, they will want to be better. Wengine wu ona zadani wengi mnoma sayat ataka wu impressu. You know your child always wants to impress you. So, ata enda fanya research nini nini. Ako niya kitwingi na tawa wengine wu na ujipata yandosa na kufundisha. Because they are already ahead of us and are smart. And their affinity to absorb information is also very high. So, you might be surprised that ataji wu habituze nini wu ataba wu jadjura. Okay. Maybe I want to say last, final last, second last, third last question, inashika atwetwefofisbook atwetwefochana Twitter hashtag is why in the morning. How do we take the shame away from being a father, sana sana and planned father? How do we, what do we tell the boy child aka e tuwajiem, aji temkutano meeting tuwakibatu pakeyake, him himself, me myself enda isa sayat, that one. So, how can we encourage them to be okay, or be proud of having a child? Again, it could be of various circumstances. Maybe, maybe alifungwatu namtu, likwatu suji aji. Whatever happened, but it's happened and instead of being proud, you know, like the way you are, instead they're feeling shame. And they kind of want to feel proud, but they don't know how to get over the shame. So, how do we fight that? That sounds like a deep battle. Yes, it is a deep battle. And it's good that you've brought it up. And the way they can tackle this is what we call support system. Support system is very important. Having people that are like-minded and people who are like-minded will bring positivity into your life and into your fatherhood. You know, umesha kwa naale watu enye, watu enye mabishitu, waku enye unambia, unenda kwa father and how they keep on saying, ei manze, umesha jichomia manze. Umesha jichomia manze. So, umesha jichomia manze. So, those are the kind of things that they keep on telling you. You know, it's negativity. But when you have people who are like-minded, like we have a group like young fathers and where we come and you just talk and we discuss stuff and we network because father would also for you to become a provider you need to network with people who are like-minded who are single father and umia how can we support them and practical support which are easy to say, let us see if we are close we need to know if we have a job come here come here call me to say if you have a father because we know the pain of being a father and especially if you are unable to provide you just demoralize someone. So when you have a network of dads who are like-minded and want the best for you they can network in terms of business kama kuna hasoli ako fulani wana kupromot like the reason why actually I started these t-shirts so that the money that people buy this t-shirt that money supports dads especially during this time of COVID it's tough. All the children at home and they are eating all the time Absolutely So support system get around people who are like-minded people who think the way you think people will bring positivity to you and not just people who just what I could demoralize to and get you off the path So that will be my my advice Yani ita un kuna boys club kuna fathers club na koditu ni modya two five four but that's not my business my business is present fatherhood all right haa it's not really a meme but it's like a picture it's in three parts basically one side nye baba na mtoto very short story so in the first one baba ndole anapigia mtoto kelele nani kadogo kame muangalia alafu next baba megro mtoto megro sasa ni katin sasa wote onabishana sasa kila mtu apua kuna makasiriko I have the final one baba kashazeka but umtoi siya kuna nguvu badawa kuk prime prime so yendu analeta makasiriko baba kia kumbu why are you shouting for these young men who are about to be fathers or who have the capacity to be fathers now do you think it's a good idea to maybe if they can if it's applicable to go back to their own dads to try and see if they can mend things makasiriko makasiriko ngojatum tuakufe ujwaga kuna full stop in life are we together and I'm not going to take back what I've just said are we together help me advise them there is always room for reconciliation and whether we like it or not there are things that we go through in our childhood with our fathers that have an effect later on when we are becoming parents and if there is that opportunity to reconcile you know take it go to your dad just have that conversation you are saying be humble na manome na takaku kumbuka e ni manome yes yes you know there is there is strength in being humble actually humility is what is strength you know like it takes strength to love for example kukonfesu your love to someone it takes strength but there are people who see it as weakness so they rather that's wakue tu machu na umtana na takamu tu lakini atake kusema and they think that is what is strength but strength is when you are able to come down and just confess that love to you because it means that you are facing a lot of stuff that people are afraid of rejection you know you don't know how these people are going to take it and those are the things that people are afraid of so how when you are afraid of you call that strength it's not strength it's the person who is able to overcome that fear of rejection and all those things that are unknown and they finally confess you know their feelings that is strength okay umshasya strength nasiwa woman just strength yeah hashtag is why in the morning okay my final question I think yes so and if it's okay if I can use both of us as an example to achain a boy child in a gata you told me your parents passed away when you were 12 years old yes my father passed away around 3 years ago very sorry and oh thank you it's okay so for me na batiangu ni June around June so for the past 3 years it's been very hard for me to remember batiangu me na fikiranga two fathers day and I don't know what your experience was growing up and every father's day kutuapu kutuapu unangali atuatu kwa dirisha how can we console someone who possibly number one has does not have a very healthy relationship with your dad and it's father's day monewa bake maremu sai and it's father's day or maybe just someone who has kids and does not know how to respond to happy father's day daddy yeah it's amazing because when my folks passed on I don't know what I did I just went and blocked every memory I just blocked everything and it's like they cease to exist and for a long time for those so many years so and as you're saying ilu kuna pata piki fika mother's day father's day and people are posting their dads happy dad I'm proud about my dad those are the times that I would be flooded with emotions you know I'm like oh my goodness reality would check in that actually I don't have parents you know and that would make me even shut the memories even more but I don't want to remember that part but recently there's something that I started on my Instagram I started memories of my folks remembering my parents and just being vulnerable completely and just trying to every day I try and get a memory whether it was good or bad what I just remember about them and it's been amazing the thing that I've been able to remember for my childhood is just been amazing and that is something that I would urge anybody like you're saying that is out there that is dealing with those stuff instead of blocking and saying that my dad may be ran away or my dad is not there I can't do anything to do with them try and remember those memories it gives you that identity rather than trying to block them and bury them it will not help the best thing is bring them out I was amazed actually the second day that I was doing that that thing emotions came and for the first time I cried about my father's death when my dad died I never cried really? I never because my mother passed on this year the next following year my dad passed on and I think I think that's why I cry I cry I was like when I was a kid I used to cry and I never really cried so remembering that actually I found myself crying and it's just been an amazing journey still something that I'm still doing even today I'm supposed to update a memory I'm still going through okay what am I going to remember today I still don't know but once I start writing I think something will come so that is what I will tell them to pierce that relationship how do you feel when your children wish you a happy father's day? when my children wish me a happy father's day I don't know why my dad is crying I don't know why he is crying I can't wait I can't wait I want them to feel proud it's like when I wish father's day because he's father's day and I'm their father there's that type so when your children wish you a happy father's day exactly I want them to feel yes they will be treating every day as father's day but when this day will be the climax for them like I will not even be knowing what to expect and also I want it to be our day because even them they are already fathers even though they still don't have physical people but they are already fathers it starts at that point that is when fatherhood is nurtured so when your children wish you a happy father's day then you can move to a happy father's day father's day will be a happy father's day I will bring my children to your school that's how you're talking I do homeschooling by the way really? yes as the interview winds up I'd like you to give us your social media handles how we can find you how we can support you if you need support and any other things that you can offer that the viewer would like to well my social media handles are present fatherhood on YouTube present fatherhood on Instagram present fatherhood on Facebook and they can support by buying t-shirt at 800 Bob and of course some other proceeds goes towards supporting a father I've gone through tough time actually there was a story of my story our story that was published on one of the dailies and I know how the journey has been it's been tough being a father and providing and making sure that your child is fed is a difficult thing and that is why I decided to do that I decided to support other fathers pigiwa simu niko chini I know what it means so that's why I decided let this process go to them so that is another way that you can support and actually today I don't know whether there's a dad in on set I came with a gift for a dad t-shirt gift for a dad atwesi kusata baya moutu apa atwesi kaisu sit down jaza what do you... hashtags why though yeah so yeah they can find me on social media and they will be a giver we also t-shirt for them for the fans yeah they can go there they will know how to get it but for today there is a t-shirt for a dad yeah alright so in conclusion I would like you to just address the nation as you see fit and then I'll wrap it up and then we can continue with the source that is why in the morning address the final words yeah my final word is that as a father you are the engine of the home and as faith is an important thing whether you are a Muslim you are an Hindu faith is an important stuff and fatherhood is transits gender, transits, race social status it is something that is global so just embrace it and know that fatherhood is not just being present is not just about provision it is a lot of stuff provision is just one of them so let note that define you yeah yeah so I would like you to just address except for happy father's day in advance absolutely happy father's day happy father's day Jeff thank you happy father's day to everybody out there just Siri, just Siri and Jordan if you are watching I love you guys and they have cool names just Siri and Jordan okay well sorry so you want to be acknowledged as a father happy happy father's day happy father's day to my father in law he's been my mentor and my friend where black case door up continue happy father's day to Godwin Felix to George Wayne to Hilaria Dala to Mavin Gakuni those are fathers that are on my side and have supported me and we supported one another boge kimonyanski and if your dad is in heaven like ours it's okay it's going to be okay you can still think happy father's day thoughts like we have been together and you will remember me as the presenter who never wash shoes and I'm not sorry I've gone back to my ancestors my roots type iPhone Facebook my name is Valentine please don't go away we still have some more for you