 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to find out how you can volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Joy Chan English fairy tales, collected by Joseph Jacobs. How to get into this book? Knock at the knocker on the door. Pull the bell at the side. Then, if you are very quiet, you'll hear a teeny, tiny voice say through the grating, Take down the key. This you'll find at the back. You cannot mistake it, for it has JJ in the wards. Put the key in the keyhole, which it fits exactly. Unlock the door and walk in. To my dear little May, preface. Who says that English folk have no fairy tales of their own? The present volume contains only a selection out of some 140, of which I have found traces in this country. It is probable that many more exist. A quarter of the tales in this volume have been collected during the last ten years or so, and some of them have not been hitherto published. Up to 1870, it was equally said of France and of Italy that they possessed no folk tales. Yet within 15 years from that date, over 1,000 tales had been collected in each country. I am hoping that the present volume may lead to equal activity in this country, and would earnestly beg any reader of this book who knows of similar tales to communicate them, written down as they are told, to me, care of Mr. Nut. The only reason I imagine why such tales have not hitherto been brought to light is the lamentable gap between the governing and recording classes and the dumb working classes of this country, dumb to others but eloquent among themselves. It would be no unpatriotic task to help to bridge over this gulf by giving a common fund of nursery literature to all classes of the English people, and, in any case, it can do no harm to add to the innocent gaiety of the nation. A word or two as to our title seems necessary. We have called our stories fairy tales, though few of them speak of fairies. The same remark applies to the collection of the Brothers Grimm and to all the other European collections, which contain exactly the same classes of tales as ours. Yet our stories are what the little ones mean when they clamor for fairy tales, and this is the only name which they give to them. One cannot imagine a child saying, Tell us a folktale nurse, or Another nursery tale, please, Grandma. As our book is intended for the little ones, we have indicated its contents by the name they use. The words fairy tales must accordingly be taken to include tales in which occurs something fairy, something extraordinary, fairies, giants, dwarfs, speaking animals. It must be taken also to cover tales in which what is extraordinary is the stupidity of some of the actors. Many of the tales in this volume, as in similar collections for other European countries, are what the folklorists call drolls. They serve to justify the title of Mary England, which used to be given to this country of ours, and indicate unsuspected capacity for fun and humour among the unlettered classes. The story of Tom Tit Tot, which opens our collection, is unequalled among all other folktales I am acquainted with, for its combined sense of humour and dramatic power. The first adjective of our title also needs a similar extension of its meaning. I have acted on Mollier's principle and have taken what was good wherever I could find it. Thus a couple of these stories have been found among descendants of English immigrants in America. A couple of others I tell as I heard them myself in my youth in Australia. One of the best was taken down from the mouth of an English gypsy. I have also included some stories that have only been found in Lowland Scotch. I have felt justified in doing this, as of the 21 folktales contained in chambers popular rhymes of Scotland, no less than 16 are also to be found in an English form. With the folktale as with the ballad, Lowland Scotch may be regarded as simply a dialect of English, and it is a mere chance whether a tale is extant in one or other or both. I have also rescued and retold a few fairy tales that only exist nowadays in the form of ballads. There are certain indications that the common form of the English fairy tale was the cantes fables, a mixture of narrative and verse of which the most illustrious example in literature is Au Cassin and L'Écolette. In one case I have endeavored to retain this form, as the tale in which it occurs, Child Rowland, is mentioned by Shakespeare and King Lear, and is probably, as I have shown, the source of Milton's commas. Late, as they have been collected, some dozen of the tales can be traced back to the 16th century, two of them being quoted by Shakespeare himself. In the majority of instances I have had largely to rewrite these fairy tales, especially those in dialect, including the Lowland Scotch. Children, and sometimes those of larger growth, will not read dialect. I have also had to reduce the flatulent phraseology of the 18th century chapbooks, and to rewrite in simpler style the story's only extant in literary English. I have, however, left a few algorithms in the mouths of vulgar people. Children appreciate the dramatic propriety of this as much as their elders. Generally speaking, it has been my ambition to write as a good old nurse will speak when she tells fairy tales. I am doubtful as to my success in catching the colloquial romantic tone appropriate for such narratives. But the thing had to be done, or else my main object, to give a book of English fairy tales, which English children will listen to, would have been unachieved. This book is meant to be read aloud, and not merely taken in by the eye. In a few instances I have introduced or changed an incident. I have never done so, however, without mentioning the fact in the notes. These have been relegated to the obscurity of small print and a back place, while the little ones have been, perhaps unnecessarily, warned off them. They indicate my sources, and give a few references to parallels and variants which may be of interest to fellow students of folklore. It is perhaps not necessary to inform readers who are not fellow students that the study of folk tales has pretensions to be a science. It has its special terminology, and its own methods of investigation, by which it is hoped, one of these days, to gain fuller knowledge of the workings of the popular mind, as well as traces of archaic modes of thought and custom. I hope on some future occasion to treat the subject of the English folktale on a larger scale and with all the necessary paraphernalia of prologomena and excursus. I shall then, of course, reproduce my originals with literary accuracy, and have therefore felt the more liberty on the present occasion to make the necessary deviations from this in order to make the tales readable for children. Finally, I have to thank those by whose kindness in waving their rights to some of these stories I have been enabled to compile this book. My friends, Mr. E. Claude, Mr. F. Heinz Groom and Mr. Andrew Lang have thus yielded up to me some of the most attractive stories in the following pages. The councils of the English and of the American Folklore Societies and Monsieur's Longmans have also been equally generous. Nor can I close these remarks without a word of thanks and praise to the artistic skill with which my friend, Mr. J. D. Batten has made the romance and humour of these stories live again in the brilliant designs with which he has adorned these pages. It should be added that the dainty headpieces to Henny Penny and Mr. Fox are due to my old friend, Mr. Henry Rylund. Joseph Jacobs End of the preface This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to find out how you can volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Joy Chan English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs Chapter 1 Tom Tit Tot Once upon a time there was a woman and she baked five pies and when they came out of the oven they were that over baked the crusts were too hard to eat so she says to her daughter daughter says she put you them their pies on the shelf and leave them there a little and they'll come again she meant you know the crust would get soft but the girl she says to herself well if they'll come again I'll eat them now and she set to work first and last well come suppertime the woman said go you and get one of them their pies I dare say they've come again now the girl went and she looked and there was nothing but the dishes said back she came and says she no they ain't come again not one of them says the mother not one of them says she well come again said the woman I'll have one for supper but you can't if they ain't come said the girl but I can says she go you and bring the best of them best or worst says the girl I've ate them all and you can't have one till that's come again well the woman she was done and she took her spinning to the door to spin and as she span she sang five pies today my daughter ate five five pies today the king was coming down the street and he heard her sing but what she sang he couldn't hear so he stopped and said what was that you were singing my good woman the woman was ashamed to let him hear what her daughter had been doing so she sang instead of that my daughter has spun five five skeins today stars of mine said the king I never heard tell of anyone that could do that then he said look you here I want a wife and I'll marry your daughter but look you here says he eleven months out of the year she shall have all she likes to eat and all the gowns she likes to get and all the company she likes to keep last month of the year she'll have to spin five skeins every day and if she don't I shall kill her alright says the woman for she thought what a grand marriage that was and as for the five skeins when the time came there'd be plenty of ways of getting out of it and likely as he'd have forgotten all about it well say they were married and for eleven months the girl had all she liked to eat and all the gowns she liked to get and all the company she liked to keep but when the time was getting over she began to think about the skeins and to wonder if he had him in mind but not one word did he say about him and she thought he'd wholly forgotten him however the last day of the last month he takes her to a room she'd never set eyes on before there was nothing in it but a spinning wheel and a stool and says he now my dear here you'll be shut in tomorrow with some victuals and some flax and if you haven't spun five skeins by the night your head'll go off and away he went about his business well she was that frightened she'd always been such a gatless girl that she didn't so much as know how to spin and what was she to do tomorrow with no one to come nigh her to help her she sat down on a stool in the kitchen and law how she did cry however all of a sudden she heard a sort of a knocking low down on the door she upped and oped it and what should she see but a small little black thing with a long tail that looked up at her right curious and that said what are you crying for what's that to you says she never you mind that said but tell me what you're crying for that won't do me no good if I do says she you don't know that that said and twirled that's tail round well says she that won't do no harm if that don't do no good and she upped and told about the pies and the skeins and everything this is what I'll do says the little black thing I'll come to your window every morning and take the flax and bring it spun at night what's your pay says she that looked out of the corner of that's eyes and that said I'll give you three guesses every night to guess my name and if you haven't guessed it before the month up you shall be mine well she thought she'd be sure to guess that's name before the month was up alright says she I agree alright that says and law how that twirled that's tail well the next day her husband took her into the room and there was the flax and the day's food now there's the flax says he and if that ain't spun up this night off goes your head and then he went out and locked the door he'd hardly gone when there was a knocking against the window she upped and she upped it and there sure enough was the little old thing sitting on the ledge where's the flax says he here it be says she and she gave it to him well come the evening a knocking came again to the window she upped and she upped it and there was the little old thing with five skeins of flax on his arm here it be says he and he gave it to her now what's my name says he what is that bill says she that ain't says he and he twirled his tail is that Ned says she no that ain't says he and he twirled his tail well is that Mark says she no that ain't says he and he twirled his tail harder and the way he flew well when her husband came in there were the five skeins ready for him I see I shan't have to kill you tonight my dear says he you'll have your food and your flax in the morning says he and the way he goes well every day the flax and the food were brought and every day that their little black input used to come mornings and evenings and all the day the girls sat trying to think of names to say to it when it came at night but she never hit on the right one and as it got towards the end of the month the input began to look so maliceful and that twirled that tail faster and faster each time she gave a guess at last it came to the last day but one the input came at night along with the five skeins and that said what ain't you got my name yet is that Nicodemus says she no that ain't that says is that Samuel says she no taint that says oh well is that Methuselum says she no taint that neither that says then that looks at her with that eyes like a coal of fire and that says woman there's only tomorrow night and then you'll be mine and away it flew well she felt that horrid however she heard the king coming along the passage in he came and when he sees the five skeins he says says he well my dear says he I don't see but what you'll have your skeins ready tomorrow night as well and as I reckon I shan't have to kill you I'll have supper in here tonight so they brought supper and another stool for him and down the two sat well he hadn't eaten but a mouthful or so when he stops and begins to laugh what is it says she oh why says he I was out hunting today and I got away to a place in the wood I'd never seen before and there was an old chalk pit and I heard a kind of a sort of a humming so I got off my hobby and I went right quiet to the pit and I looked down well what should there be but the funniest little black thing you ever said eyes on and what was that doing but that had a little spinning wheel for fast and twirling that tail and as that spanned that sang nimi nimi not my name's Tom Tit Tot well when the girl heard this she felt as if she could have jumped out of a skin for joy but she didn't say a word next day that little thing looked so maliceful when he came for the flax and when night came she heard that knocking against the window panes she opened the window and that came right in on the ledge that was grinning from ear to ear and ooh that tail was twirling round so fast what's my name that says as that gave her the skeins is that Solomon she says pretending to be a feared no Taint that says and that came further into the room well is that Zebedee says she again no Taint says the input and then that laughed and twirled that tail so you couldn't hardly see it take time woman that says next guess and your mine and that stretched out that's black hands at her well she backed a step or two and she looked at it and then she laughed out and says she pointing her finger at it nimi nimi not your name's Tom Tit Tot well when that heard her that gave an awful shriek and away that flew into the dark and she never saw it anymore end chapter 1 Tom Tit Tot this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to find out how you can volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Joy Chan English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs Chapter 2 The Three Sillies once upon a time there was a farmer and his wife who had one daughter and she was courted by a gentleman every evening he used to come and see her and stop to supper at the farmhouse and the daughter used to be sent down into the cellar to draw the beer for supper so one evening she had gone down to draw the beer and she happened to look up at the ceiling while she was drawing and she saw a mallet stuck in one of the beans it must have been there a long, long time but somehow or other she had never noticed it before and she began thinking and she thought it was very dangerous to have that mallet there for she said to herself suppose him and me was to be married and we was to have a son and he was to grow up to be a man and come down into the cellar to draw the beer like as I'm doing now and the mallet was to fall on his head and kill him what a dreadful thing it would be and she put down the candle and the jug and set herself down and began a crying well, they began to wonder upstairs how it was that she was so long drawing the beer and her mother went down to see after her and she found her sitting on the settle crying and the beer running over the floor why, whatever is the matter said her mother oh mother says she look at that horrid mallet suppose we was to be married and was to have a son and he was to grow up and was to come down to the cellar to draw the beer on his head and kill him what a dreadful thing it would be dear, dear what a dreadful thing it would be said the mother and she sat her down aside of the daughter and started a crying too then after a bit the father began to wonder that they didn't come back and he went down into the cellar to look after them himself and there they too sat crying and the beer running all over the floor whatever is the matter says he why says the mother look at that horrid mallet just suppose if our daughter and her sweetheart was to be married and was to have a son and he was to grow up and was to come down into the cellar to draw the beer and the mallet was to fall on his head and kill him what a dreadful thing it would be dear, dear, dear what a dreadful thing it would be and he sat himself down aside of the other two and started a crying now the gentleman got tired of stopping up in the kitchen by himself and at last he went down into the cellar too to see what they were after and there they three sat a crying side by side and the beer running all over the floor and he ran straight and turned to the tap then he said whatever are you three doing sitting there crying and letting the beer run all over the floor oh says the father look at that horrid mallet suppose you and our daughter was to be married and was to have a son and he was to grow up and was to come down into the cellar to draw the beer and the mallet was to fall on his head and kill him and then they all started a crying worse than before laughing and reached up and pulled out the mallet and then he said I've travelled many miles and I never met three such big sillies as you three before and now I shall start out on my travels again and when I can find three bigger sillies than you three then I'll come back and marry your daughter so he wished them goodbye and started off on his travels and left them all crying because the girl had lost her sweetheart well he set out and he travelled a long way and at last he came to a woman's cottage that had some grass growing on the roof and the woman was trying to get her cow to go up a ladder to the grass and the poor thing does not go so the gentleman asked the woman what she was doing why look ye she said look at all that beautiful grass I'm going to get the cow on to the roof to eat it she'll be quite safe for I shall tie a string around her neck and pass it down the chimney and tie it to my wrist as I go about the house so she can't fall off without my knowing it oh you poor silly said the gentleman you should cut the grass and throw it down to the cow but the woman thought it was easier to get the cow up the ladder than to get the grass down so she pushed her and coaxed her and got her up and tied a string around her neck and passed it down the chimney and fastened it to her own wrist and the gentleman went on his way but he hadn't gone far when the cow tumbled off the roof and hung by the string tied around her neck and it strangled her and the weight of the cow tied to her wrist pulled the woman up the chimney and she stuck fast half way and was smothered in soot well that was one big silly and the gentleman went on and on and he went to an inn to stop the night and they were so full at the inn that they had to put him in a double bedded room and another traveller was to sleep in the other bed the other man was a very pleasant fellow and they got very friendly together but in the morning they were both getting up the gentleman was surprised to see the other hang his trousers on the knobs of the chest of drawers and run across the room and try to jump into them and he tried over and over again and couldn't manage it and the gentleman wondered whatever he was doing it for at last he stopped and wiped his face with his handkerchief oh dear he says I do think trousers are the kind of clothes that ever were I can't think who could have invented such things it takes me the best part of an hour to get into mine every morning and I get so hot how do you manage yours so the gentleman burst out to laughing and showed him how to put them on and he was very much obliged to him and said he never should have thought of doing it that way so that was another big silly then the gentleman went on his travels again and he came to a village and outside the village there was a pond and round the pond was a crowd of people and they had got rakes and brooms and pitchforks reaching into the pond and the gentleman asked what was the matter why they said matter enough moons tumbled into the pond and we can't rake her out anyhow so the gentleman burst out to laughing and told them to look up into the sky and that it was only the shadow in the water but they wouldn't listen to him and abused him shamefully and he got away as quick as he could so there was a whole lot of sillies bigger than them three sillies at home so the gentleman turned back home again and married the farmer's daughter and if they didn't live happy forever after that's nothing to do with you or me end of chapter 2 the three sillies this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to find out how you can volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Joy Chan English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs chapter 3 the rose tree there was once upon a time a good man who had two children a girl by a first wife and a boy by the second the girl was as white as milk and her lips were like cherries her hair was like golden silk and it hung to the ground her brother loved her dearly but her wicked stepmother hated her child said the stepmother one day go to the grocer's shop and buy me a pound of candles she gave her the money and the little girl went bought the candles and started on her return there was a stile to cross she put down the candles while she got over the stile up came a dog and ran off with the candles she went back to the grocer's and she got a second bunch she came to the stile set down the candles and proceeded to climb over up came the dog and ran off with the candles she went again to the grocer's and she got a third bunch and just the same happened then she came to her stepmother crying for she had spent all the money and had lost three bunches of candles the stepmother was angry but she pretended not to mind the loss she said to the child come lay your head on my lap that I may comb your hair so the little one laid her head in the woman's lap who proceeded to comb the yellow silken hair and when she combed the hair fell over her knees and rolled right down to the ground then the stepmother hated her more than the beauty of her hair so she said to her I cannot part your hair on my knee fetch a billet of wood so she fetched it then said the stepmother I cannot part your hair with a comb fetch me an axe so she fetched it now said the wicked woman lay your head down on the billet once I part your hair well she laid down her little golden head and whist down came the axe and it was off so the mother wiped the axe and laughed then she took the heart and liver of the little girl and she stewed them and brought them into the house for supper the husband tasted them and took his head he said they tasted very strangely she gave some to the little boy but he would not eat she tried to force him but he refused and ran out into the garden and took up his little sister and put her in a box and buried the box under a rose tree and every day he went to the tree and wept till his tears ran down on the box one day the rose tree flowered it was spring and there among the flowers was a white bird and it sang and sang and sang like an angel out of heaven away it flew and it went to a cobbler's shop and perched itself on a tree hard by and thus it sang my wicked mother slew me my dear father ate me my little brother whom I love sits below and I sing above stick, stock, stone, dead sing again that beautiful song said the shoemaker if you will first give me those little red shoes that I was making the cobbler gave the shoes and the bird sang the song then flew to a tree in front of a watchmaker's and sang my wicked mother slew me my dear father ate me my little brother whom I love sits below and I sing above stick, stock, stone, dead oh the beautiful song sing it again sweet bird asked the watchmaker you'll give me first that gold watch and chain in your hand the jeweler gave the watch and chain the bird took it in one foot the shoes in the other and after having repeated the song flew away to where three millers were picking a millstone the bird perched on a tree and sang my wicked mother slew me my dear father ate me my little brother whom I love sits below and I sing above stick then one of the men put down his tool and looked up from his work stock then the second miller's man laid aside his tool and looked up stone then the third miller's man laid down his tools and looked up dead then all three cried out with one voice oh what a beautiful song sing it sweet bird again if you will put the millstone round my neck said the bird the men did what the bird wanted and away to the tree it flew with the millstone round its neck the red shoes in one foot and the gold watch and chain in the other it sang the song and then flew home it rattled the millstone against the eaves of the house and the stepmother said then the little boy ran out to see the thunder and down dropped the red shoes at his feet it rattled the millstone against the eaves of the house once more and the stepmother said again it thunders then the father ran out and down fell the chain about his neck in round father and son laughing and saying see what fine things the thunder has brought us then the bird rattled the millstone against the eaves of the house a third time and the stepmother said it thunders again perhaps the thunder has brought something for me and she ran out but the moment she stepped outside the door down fell the millstone on her head and so she died End of Chapter 3 The Rose Tree This is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to find out how you can volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Joy Chan English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs Chapter 4 The Old Woman and Her Pig An old woman was sweeping her house and she found a little crooked sixpence What said she shall I do with this little sixpence I will go to market and buy a little pig as she was coming home she came to a style but the piggy wouldn't go over the style she went a little further and she met a dog so she said to the dog dog bite pig piggy won't go over the style and I shan't get home tonight but the dog wouldn't she went a little further and she met a fire so she said fire fire burn stick stick won't beat dog dog won't bite pig piggy won't get over the style and I shan't get home tonight but the stick wouldn't she went a little further and she met a fire so she said fire fire burn stick stick won't beat dog dog won't bite pig piggy won't get over the style and I shan't get home tonight but the fire wouldn't she went a little further and she met some water so she said water water quench fire fire won't burn stick stick won't beat dog dog won't bite pig piggy won't get over the style and I shan't get home tonight but the water wouldn't she went a little further and she met a butcher so she said butcher butcher kill ox ox won't drink water water won't quench fire fire won't burn stick stick won't beat dog dog won't bite pig piggy won't get over the style and I shan't get home tonight but the ox wouldn't she went a little further and she met a butcher butcher won't quench fire fire won't burn stick stick won't beat dog dog won't bite pig piggy won't get over the style and I shan't get home tonight but the butcher wouldn't she went a little further and she met a rope so she said rope rope hang butcher butcher won't kill ox ox won't drink water water won't quench fire fire won't burn stick stick won't beat dog dog won't bite pig piggy won't get over the style and I shan't get home tonight but the rope wouldn't she went a little further and she met a rat so she said rat rat nor rope rope won't hang butcher butcher won't kill ox ox won't drink water water won't quench fire fire won't burn stick stick won't beat dog dog won't bite pig piggy won't get over the style and I shan't get home tonight but the rat wouldn't she went a little further and she met a cat so she said cat cat kill rat rat won't nor rope rope won't hang butcher butcher won't kill ox ox won't drink water stick won't beat dog dog won't bite pig piggy won't get over the style and I shan't get home tonight but the cat said to her if you will go to yonder cow and fetch me a saucer of milk I will kill the rat so away went the old woman to the cow but the cow said to her if you will go to yonder haystack and fetch me a handful of hay I'll give you the milk so away went the old woman to the haystack and she brought the hay to the cow as soon as the cow had eaten the hay she gave the old woman the milk and away she went with it in a saucer to the cat as soon as the cat had lapped up the milk the cat began to kill the rat the rat began to gnaw the rope the rope began to hang the butcher the butcher began to kill the ox the ox began to drink the water the water began to quench the fire the fire began to burn the stick the stick began to beat the dog the dog began to bite the pig the little pig in a fright jumped over the style and so the old woman got home that night end of chapter 4 the old woman and her pig this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to find out how you can volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Joy Chan English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs chapter 5 how Jack went to seek his fortune once on a time there was a boy named Jack and one morning he started to go and seek his fortune he hadn't gone very far before he met a cat where are you going Jack said the cat I am going to seek my fortune may I go with you yes said Jack the maul the merrier so on they went jiggly jolt jiggly jolt they went a little further and they met a dog where are you going Jack said the dog I am going to seek my fortune may I go with you yes said Jack the maul the merrier so on they went jiggly jolt jiggly jolt they went a little further and they met a goat where you going Jack said the goat I am going to seek my fortune may I go with you yes said Jack the maul the merrier so on they went jiggly jolt jiggly jolt they went a little further and they met a bull where you going Jack said the bull I am going to seek my fortune may I go with you yes said Jack the maul the merrier so on they went jiggly jolt jiggly jolt they went a little further and they met a rooster where you going Jack said the rooster I am going to seek my fortune may I go with you yes said Jack the maul the merrier so on they went jiggly jolt jiggly jolt well they went on till it was about dark they began to think of some place where they could spend the night about this time they came in sight of a house and Jack told them to keep still while he went up and looked in through the window and there were some robbers counting over the money then Jack went back and told them to wait till he gave the word and then to make all the noise they could so when they were all ready Jack gave the word and the dog barked and the goat bleated and the bull bellowed and the rooster crowed and all together they made such a dreadful noise that it frightened the robbers all away and then they went in and took possession of the house Jack was afraid the robbers would come back in the night and so when it came time to go to bed he put the cat in the rocking chair and he put the dog under the table downstairs and he put the bull down cellar and the rooster flew up onto the roof and Jack went to bed by and by the robbers saw it was all dark and they sent one man back to the house to look after their money before long he came back in a great fright and told them his story I went back to the house said he and went in and tried to sit down in the rocking chair and there was an old woman knitting and she stuck her knitting needles into me that was the cat you know I went to the table to look after the money and there was a shoemaker under the table and he stuck his all into me that was the dog you know I started to go upstairs and there was a man up there threshing and he knocked me down with his flail that was the goat you know I started to go down cellar and there was a man down there chopping wood and he knocked me up with his axe that was the bull you know but I shouldn't have minded all that if it hadn't been for that little fellow on top of the house who kept to hollering chuck him up to me chuck him up to me of course that was the cockadoodle do end of chapter 5 how Jack went to seek his fortune this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to find out how you can volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Joy Chan English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs Chapter 6 Mr. Vinegar Mr. and Mrs. Vinegar lived in a vinegar bottle now one day when Mr. Vinegar was from home Mrs. Vinegar who was a very good housewife was busily sweeping her house when an unlucky thump of the broom brought the whole house clitter-clatter, clitter-clatter about her ears in an agony of grief she rushed forth to meet her husband on seeing him she exclaimed oh Mr. Vinegar Mr. Vinegar we are ruined I have knocked the house down all to pieces Mr. Vinegar then said my dear let us see what can be done here is the door I will take it on my back and we will go forth to seek our fortune they walked all that day and at nightfall entered a thick forest they were both very, very tired and Mr. Vinegar said my love I will climb up into a tree and look up the door and you shall follow he accordingly did so and they both stretched their weary limbs on the door and fell fast asleep in the middle of the night Mr. Vinegar was disturbed by the sound of voices underneath and to his horror and dismay found that it was a band of thieves meant to divide their booty here Jack said one here's five pounds for you here Bill here's ten pounds for you here Bob here's three pounds for you Mr. Vinegar could listen no longer his terror was so great that he trembled and trembled and shook down the door on their heads away scampered the thieves but Mr. Vinegar did not quit his retreat till broad daylight he then scrambled out of the tree and went to lift up the door what did he see but a number of golden guineas come down Mrs. Vinegar he cried come down I say our fortunes made our fortunes made come down I say Mrs. Vinegar got down as fast as she could and when she saw the money she jumped for joy now my dear said she I'll tell you what you shall do there is a fair at the neighbouring town you shall take these 40 guineas and buy a cow I can make butter and cheese which you shall sell at market and we shall then be able to live very comfortably Mr. Vinegar joyfully agrees takes the money and off he goes to the fair when he arrived he walked up and down and at length saw a beautiful red cow it was an excellent milker and perfect in every way oh thought Mr. Vinegar if I had but that cow I should be the happiest man alive so he offers the 40 guineas for the cow and the owner said that as he was a friend he had obliged him so the bargain was made and he got the cow and he drove it backwards and forwards to show it by and by he saw a man playing the bagpipes twiddle dum twiddle dee the children followed him about and it appeared to be pocketing money on all sides well thought Mr. Vinegar if I had but that beautiful instrument I should be the happiest man alive my fortune would be made so he went up to the man friend says he what a beautiful instrument that is and what a deal of money you must make why yes said the man I make a great deal of money to be sure and it is a wonderful instrument oh cried Mr. Vinegar how I should like to possess it well said the man as you are a friend I don't much mind parting with it you shall have it for that red cow done said the delighted Mr. Vinegar so the beautiful red cow was given for the bagpipes he walked up and down with his purchase but it was in vain he tried to play a tune and instead of pocketing pence the boys followed him hooting laughing and pelting poor Mr. Vinegar his fingers grew very cold and just as he was leaving the town he met a man with a fine thick pair of gloves oh my fingers are so very cold said Mr. Vinegar to himself now if I had but those beautiful gloves I should be the happiest man alive he went up to the man and said to him friend you seem to have a capital pair of gloves there yes truly cried the man and my hands as warm as possible this cold November day well said Mr. Vinegar I should like to have them what will you give said the man as you are a friend I don't much mind letting you have them for those bagpipes he cried Mr. Vinegar he put on the gloves and felt perfectly happy as he trudged homewards at last he grew very tired when he saw a man coming towards him with a good stout stick in his hand oh said Mr. Vinegar that I had but that stick I should then be the happiest man alive he said to the man friend what a rare good stick you have got yes said the man I have used it for many a long mile and a good friend it has been but if you have a fancy for it as you are a friend I don't mind giving it to you for that pair of gloves Mr. Vinegar's hands were so warm and his legs so tired that he gladly made the exchange as he drew near to the wood where he had left his wife he heard a parrot on a tree calling out his name Mr. Vinegar you foolish man you blockhead you simpleton you went to the fair and laid out all your money in buying a cow not content with that you changed it for bagpipes on which you could not play and which were not worth one tenth of the money you fool you had no sooner got the bagpipes than you changed them for the gloves which were not worth one quarter of the money and when you had got the gloves you changed them for a poor miserable stick and now for your 40 guineas cow, bagpipes and gloves you have nothing to show but that poor miserable stick which you might have cut in any hedge on this the bird laughed and laughed and Mr. Vinegar falling into a violent rage threw the stick at its head the stick lodged in the tree and he returned to his wife without money cow, bagpipes gloves or stick and she instantly gave him such a sound cuddling that she almost broke every bone in his skin End of Chapter Six Mr. Vinegar This is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to find out how you can volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Joy Chan English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs Chapter Seven Nix, Nought, Nothing There once lived a king and a queen as many a one has been they were long married and had no children but at last a baby boy came to the queen when the king was away in the far countries the queen would not christen the boy till the king came back and she said we will just call him Nix, Nought, Nothing until his father comes home but it was long before he came home and the boy had grown a nice little laddie at length the king was on his way back but he had a big river to cross and there was a whirlpool but he could not get over the water but a giant came up to him and said I'll carry you over but the king said what's your pay oh give me Nix, Nought, Nothing and I will carry you over the water on my back the king had never heard that his son was called Nix, Nought, Nothing and so he said oh I'll give you that and my thanks into the bargain when the king got home again he was very happy to see his wife again and his young son she told him that she had not given the child any name but just Nix, Nought, Nothing until he should come home again himself the poor king was in a terrible case he said what have I done I promised to give the giant who carried me over the river on his back Nix, Nought, Nothing the king and the queen were sad and sorry but they said when the giant comes we will give him the henwife's boy he will never know the difference the next day the giant came to claim the king's promise and he sent for the henwife's boy and the giant went away with the boy on his back he travelled till he came to a big stone and there he sat down to rest he said Hedge hodge on my back what time of day is that the poor little boy said it is the time that my mother the henwife takes up the eggs for the queen's breakfast the giant was very angry and dashed the boy's head on the stone and killed him so he went back in a tower of temper and this time they gave him the gardener's boy he went off with him on his back till they got to the stone again when the giant sat down to rest and he said Hedge hodge on my back what time of day do you make that the gardener's boy said sure it's the time that my mother takes up the vegetables for the queen's dinner then the giant was right wild and dashed his brains out on the stone then the giant went back to the king's house in a terrible temper and said he would destroy them all if they did not give him nix-naught-nothing this time they had to do it and when he came to the big stone the giant said what time of day is that nix-naught-nothing said it is the time that my father the king will be sitting down to supper the giant said I've got the right one now and took nix-naught-nothing to his own house and brought him up till he was a man the giant had a bonny daughter and she and the lad grew very fond of each other the giant said one day to nix-naught-nothing I've worked for you tomorrow there is a stable seven miles long and seven miles broad and it has not been cleaned for seven years and you must clean it tomorrow or I will have you for my supper the giant's daughter went out next morning with the lad's breakfast and found him in a terrible state for always as he cleaned out a bit it just fell in again the giant's daughter said she would help him and she cried all the beasts in the field and all the files of the air and in a minute they all came and carried away everything that was in the stable and made it all clean before the giant came home he said shame on the wit that helped you but I have a worse job for you tomorrow then he said to nix-naught-nothing there's a lake seven miles long and seven miles deep and seven miles broad and you must drain it tomorrow by nightfall or else I'll have you for my supper nix-naught-nothing began early next morning and tried to lave the water with his pail but the lake was never getting any less and he didn't know what to do but the giant's daughter caught on all the fish in the sea to come and drink the water and very soon they drank it dry when the giant saw the work done he was in a rage and said I have a worse job for you tomorrow there is a tree seven miles high and no branch on it till you get to the top and there is a nest with seven eggs in it and you must bring down all the eggs without breaking one or else I'll have you for my supper at first the giant's daughter did not know how to help nix-naught-nothing she cut off first her fingers and then her toes and made steps of them and he cloned the tree and got all the eggs safe till he came just to the bottom and then one was broken so they determined to run away together and asked that the giant's daughter had tidied up her hair a bit and got her magic flask they set out together as fast as they could run and they hadn't got but three fields away when they looked back and saw the giant walking along at top speed after them quick quick called out the giant's daughter take my comb from my hair and throw it down nix-naught-nothing took her comb from her hair and threw it down and out of every one of its prongs they sprung up a fine thick briar in the way of the giant you may be sure it took him a long time to work his way through the briar bush and by the time he was well through nix-naught-nothing and his sweetheart had run on a tidy step away from him but he soon came along after them and was just like to catch him up when the giant's daughter called out to nix-naught-nothing but he soon came along after them and the giant's daughter called out to nix-naught-nothing take my hair dagger and throw it down quick quick so nix-naught-nothing threw down the hair dagger and out of it grew as quick as lightning a thick hedge of sharp razors placed crisscross the giant had to tread very cautiously to get through all this and meanwhile the young lovers ran on and on and on till they were nearly out of sight but at last the giant was through and it wasn't long before he was like to catch them up but just as he was stretching out his hand to catch nix-naught-nothing his daughter took out her magic flask and dashed it on the ground and as it broke out of it welled a big big wave that grew and that grew till it reached the giant's waist and then his neck and when it got to his head he was drowned dead and dead and dead indeed so he goes out of the story but nix-naught-nothing fled on till where do you think they came to why to near the castle of nix-naught-nothing's father and mother but the giant's daughter was so weary that she couldn't move a step further so nix-naught-nothing told her to wait there while he went and found out a lodging for the night and he went on towards the lights of the castle and on the way he came to the cottage of the hen-wife whose boy had had his brains dashed out by the giant now she knew nix-naught-nothing in a moment and hated him because he was the cause of her son's death so when he asked his way to the castle she put a spell upon him and when he got to the castle no sooner was he let in than he fell down dead asleep upon a bench in the hall nix-naught-nothing tried all they could do to wake him up but all in vain so the king promised that if any lady could wake him up she should marry him meanwhile the giant's daughter was waiting and waiting for him to come back and she went up into a tree to watch for him the gardener's daughter going to draw water in the well saw the shadow of the lady in the water and thought it was herself and said if I'm so Bonnie if I'm so brave why do you send me to draw water so she threw down her pail and went to see if she could wed the sleeping stranger and she went to the henwife who taught her an unspelling catch which would keep nix-naught-nothing awake as long as the gardener's daughter liked so she went up to the castle and sang her catch and nix-naught-nothing was wakened for a bit and they promised to wed him to the gardener's daughter meanwhile the gardener went down to draw water from the well and saw the shadow of the lady in the water so he looks up and finds her and he brought the lady from the tree and led her into his house and he told her that a stranger was to marry his daughter and took her up to the castle and showed her the man and it was nix-naught-nothing asleep in a chair and she saw him and cried to him waken, waken and speak to me but he would not waken and soon she cried I cleaned the stable I laid the lake and I cloned the tree and all for the love of thee and thou wilt not waken and speak to me the king and the queen heard this and came to the Bonnie young lady I cannot get nix-naught-nothing to speak to me for all that I can do then were they greatly astonished when she spoke of nix-naught-nothing and asked where he was and she said he that sits there in the chair then they ran to him and kissed him and called him their own dear son so they called for the gardener's daughter and made her sing her charm and he wakened and told them all that the giant's daughter was done for him and of all her kindness then they took her in their arms and kissed her and said she should now be their daughter for their son should marry her but they sent for the henwife and put her to death and they lived happy all their days End of Chapter 7 Nix-naught-nothing Please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Joy Chan English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs Chapter 8 Jack Hannaford There was an old soldier who had been long in the wars so long that he was quite out at elbows and he did not know where to go to find a living so he walked up moors down glens till at last he came to a farm for which the good man had gone away to market the wife of the farmer was a very foolish woman who had been a widow when he married her the farmer was foolish enough too and it is hard to say which of the two was the more foolish when you've heard my tale you may decide now before the farmer goes to market says he to his wife here is ten pounds all in gold take care of it till I come home if the man had not been a fool he would never have given the money to his wife to keep well, off he went in his cart to market and the wife said to herself I will keep the ten pounds quite safe from thieves so she tidied up in a rag and she put the rag up the parlour chimney there said she no thieves will ever find it now that is quite sure Jack Hannaford the old soldier came and rapped at the door who was there asked the wife Jack Hannaford where do you come from paradise lord of mercy and maybe you've seen my old man there alluding to her former husband yes I have and how was he a doing asked the goodie but middling he cobbles old shoes and he has nothing but cabbage for victuals jury me exclaimed the woman didn't he send a message to me yes he did replied Jack Hannaford he said that he was out of leather and his pockets were empty so you were to send him a few shinnings to buy a fresh stock of leather he shall have them bless his poor soul and away went the wife to the parlour chimney and she pulled the rag with the ten pounds in it from the chimney and she gave the whole sum to the soldier telling him that her old man was to use as much as he wanted and to send back the rest it was not long that Jack waited after receiving the money he went off as fast as he could presently the farmer came home and asked his wife for his money the wife told him that she had sent it by a soldier to her former husband in paradise to buy him leather for cobbling the shoes of the saints and angels of heaven the farmer was very angry and he saw that he had never met with such a fool as his wife but the wife said that her husband was a greater fool for letting her have the money there was no time to waste words so the farmer mounted his horse and rode off after Jack Hannaford the old soldier heard the horse's hooves clattering on the road behind him so he knew it must be the farmer pursuing him he lay down on the ground and shading his eyes with one hand looked up into the sky and pointed heavenwards with the other hand what are you about there? asked the farmer pulling up Lord save you exclaimed Jack I've seen a rare sight what was that? a man going straight up into the sky as if he were walking on a road can you see him still? yes I can where? get off your horse and lie down if you will hold the horse Jack did so readily I cannot see him said the farmer shade your eyes with your hand and you'll soon see a man flying away from you sure enough he did so for Jack leapt on the horse and rode away with it the farmer walked home without his horse you are bigger fool than I am said the wife for I did only one foolish thing and you have done too end of Chapter 8 Jack Hannaford this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to find out how you can volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Joy Chan English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs Chapter 9 Benori once upon a time there were two king's daughters lived in a bower near the Bonnie Mildams of Benori and Sir William came wooing the eldest and won her love and plighted droid with glove and with ring but after a time he looked upon the youngest with her cherry cheeks and golden hair and his love grew to water till he cared no longer for the eldest one so she hated her sister for taking away Sir William's love and day by day her hate grew upon her and she plotted and she planned how to get rid of her so one fine morning fair and clear she said to her sister let us go and see our father's boats come in at the Bonnie Mildstream of Benori so they went there hand in hand and when they got to the river's bank the youngest got upon a stone to watch for the coming of the boats and her sister coming behind her caught her round the waist and dashed her into the rushing millstream of Benori oh sister sister reach me your hand she cried as she floated away and you shall have half of all I've got or shall get no sister I'll reach you no hand of mine for I am the heir to all your land shame on me if I touch the hand that has come twix me and my own heart's love oh sister oh sister then reach me your glove she cried as she floated further away and you shall have your William again sink on cried the cruel princess no hand or glove of mine you'll touch so William will be all mine when you are sunk beneath the Bonnie Mildstream of Benori and she turned and went home to the king's castle and the princess floated down the millstream sometimes swimming and sometimes sinking till she came near the mill now the miller's daughter was cooking that day and needed water for her cooking and as she went to draw it from the stream she saw something floating towards the mill dam and she cried out father father draw your dam there's something white a merry maid or milk white swan coming down the stream so the miller hastened to the dam and stopped the heavy cruel mill wheels and then they took out the princess and laid her on the bank fair and beautiful she looked as she lay there in her golden hair were pearls and precious stones you could not see her waist for her golden girdle and the golden fringe of a white dress came down over her lily feet but she was drowned drowned as she lay there in her beauty a famous harper passed by the mill dam of Benori and saw her sweet pale face and though he travelled on far way he never forgot that face and after many days he came back to the Bonnie millstream of Benori but then all he could find of her and put her to rest were her bones and her golden hair so he made a harp out of her breastbone and her hair and travelled on up the hill from the mill dam of Benori till he came to the castle of the king her father that night they were all gathered in the castle hall to hear the great harper king and queen their daughter and son Sir William and all their court and first the harper sang to his old harp making them joy and be glad or sorrow and weep just as he liked and while he sang he put the harp he had made that day on a stone in the hall and presently it began to sing by itself low and clear and the harper stopped and all were hushed and this was what the harp sung O yonder sits my father the king Benori, O Benori sits my mother the queen by the bonnie mill dams of Benori and yonder stands my brother Hugh Benori, O Benori and by him my William false and true by the bonnie mill dams of Benori then they all wondered and the harper told them how he had seen the princess lying drowned on the bank near the bonnie mill dams of Benori and how he had afterwards the harp out of her hair and breastbone just then the harp began singing again and this was what it sang out loud and clear and there sits my sister who drowned me by the bonnie mill dams of Benori and then the harp snapped and broke and never sang more end of chapter 9 Benori this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to find out how you can volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Joy Chan English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs Chapter 10 Mouse and Mouser The mouse went to visit the cat and found her sitting behind the hall door spinning Mouse What are you doing my lady my lady Cat sharply I'm spinning old breeches good body good body Mouse Long may you wear them my lady Cat roughly I'll wear them and tear them good body I'll wear them and tear them good body Mouse I was sweeping my room my lady I was sweeping my room my lady Cat The cleaner you'd be good body the cleaner you'd be good body Mouse I found a silver sixpence my lady I found a silver sixpence the richer you were good body the richer you were good body Mouse I went to the market my lady I went to the market my lady Cat The further you went good body Mouse I bought me a pudding my lady I bought me a pudding my lady Cat starling The more me you had good body the more me you had good body Mouse I put it in the window to cool my lady I put it in the window to cool Cat sharply The faster you'd eat it good body the faster you'd eat it good body Mouse timidly The cat came and ate it my lady my lady The cat came and ate it my lady Cat pouncingly An arly you good body good body springs upon the mouse and kills it End of chapter 10 Mouse and Mouser This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to find out how you can volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Joy Chan English fairy tales collected by Joseph Jacobs Chapter 11 Kappa Rushes Well there was once a very rich gentleman and he'd three daughters and he thought he'd see how fond they were of him So he says to the first How much do you love me my dear? Why? says she As I love my life That's good says he So he says to the second How much do you love me my dear? Why? says she Better know all the world That's good says he So he says to the third How much do you love me my dear? Why? I love you As fresh meat loves salt Says she Well he was that angry You don't love me at all Says he and in my house You stay no more So he drove her out there and then And shut the door in her face Well She went away on and on Till she came to a fin And there she gathered a lot of rushes And made them into a kind Of a sort of a cloak with a hood To cover her from head to foot And to hide her fine clothes And then she went on and on Till she came to a great house Do you want a maid? says she No we don't Says they I haven't nowhere to go Says she and I ask no wages And do any sort of work? says she Well Says they If you like to wash the pots Says they So she stayed there and Washed the pots and scraped the Sourcements and did all the dirty work And because she gave no name They called her Kappa rushes Well One day there was to be a great Dance a little way off And the servants were allowed to go And look on at the grand people Kappa rushes said she was Too tired to go so she stayed At home But when they were gone she offed with her Kappa rushes and cleaned herself And went to the dance And no one there was so finely dressed as her Well who should be there but her master's son And what should he do but fall in love With her the minute he set eyes on her He wouldn't dance with anyone else But before the dance was done Kappa rushes slipped off And away she went home And when the other maids came back She was pretending to be asleep With her Kappa rushes on Well next morning they said to her You did miss a sight Kappa rushes What was that says she Why the beautifuless lady you ever see Dressed right gay and girl The young master He never took his eyes off her Well I should have liked to have seen her Says Kappa rushes Well there's to be another dance this evening And perhaps she'll be there But come the evening Kappa rushes said she was too tight to go with them How so ever when they were gone She offed with her Kappa rushes And cleaned herself and away she went to the dance The master's son had been reckoning on seeing her And he danced with no one else And never took his eyes off her But before the dance was over She slipped off and home she went And when the maids came back She pretended to be asleep with her Kappa rushes on Next day they said to her again Well Kappa rushes You should have been there to see the lady There she was again gay and girl And the young master he never took his eyes off her Well there says she I should have liked to have seen her Well says there There's a dance again this evening And you must go with us For she's sure to be there Well come this evening Kappa rushes said she was too tired to go And do what they would she stayed at home But when they were gone She offed with her Kappa rushes and cleaned herself And away she went to the dance The master's son was really glad When he saw her He danced with none but her And never took his eyes off her When she wouldn't tell him her name Nor where she came from He gave her a ring And told her if he didn't see her again He should die Well before the dance was over Off she slipped and home she went And when the maids came home She was pretending to sleep with her Kappa rushes on Well next day they says to her There Kappa rushes You didn't come last night And now you won't see the lady For there's no more dancers Well I should have really Like to have seen her says she The master's son he tried To find out where the lady was gone But go where he might And ask whom he might He never heard anything about her And he got worse and worse for the love of her Till he had to keep his bed Make some gruel for the young master They said to the cook He's dying for the love of the lady The cook she said about making it When Kappa rushes came in What are you doing off says she I'm going to make some Gruel for the young master says the cook For he's dying for love of the lady Let me make it says Kappa rushes Well the cook wouldn't at first But at last she said yes And Kappa rushes made the gruel And when she had made it She slipped the ring into it on the sly Before the cook took it upstairs The young man he drank it And then he saw the ring at the bottom The cook says he So up she comes Who made this gruel here says he I did says the cook For she was frightened And he looked at her No you didn't says he Say who didn't and you shan't be harmed Well then to us Kappa rushes says she Send Kappa rushes here says he Said Kappa rushes came Did you make my gruel says he Yes I did says she Where did you get this ring says he From him that gave it me says she Who are you then says the young man I'll show you says she And she offed with her Kappa rushes And there she was in her beautiful clothes Well the master son he got well very soon And they were to be married in a little time It was to be a very grand wedding And everyone was asked far and near And Kappa rushes father was asked But she never told anybody who she was But before the wedding she went to the cook And says she I want you to dress every dish Without a mite of salt That'll be rare nasty says the cook That doesn't signify says she Very well says the cook Well the wedding day came And they were married And after they were married all the company Sat down to the dinner When they began to eat the meat That was so tasteless they couldn't Eat it But Kappa rushes father he tried First one dish and then another And then he burst out crying What is the matter Said the master son to him Oh says he I had a daughter And I asked her how much She loved me And she said as much as Fresh meat love salt And I turned her from my door For I thought she didn't love me And now I see she loved me best of all And she may be dead for ought I know No father here she is Says Kappa rushes And she goes up to him And puts her arms round him And so they were happy ever after End of chapter 11 This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings Are in the public domain For more information or to find out How you can volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Joy Chan English fairy tales Collected by Joseph Jacobs Chapter 12 Teeny Tiny Once upon a time There was a teeny tiny woman Lived in a teeny tiny house In a teeny tiny village Now one day This teeny tiny woman Put on her teeny tiny bonnet And went out of her teeny tiny house To take a teeny tiny walk And when this teeny tiny woman Had gone a teeny tiny way She came to a teeny tiny gate So the teeny tiny woman Opened the teeny tiny gate And went into a teeny tiny churchyard And when this teeny tiny woman Went into the teeny tiny churchyard She saw a teeny tiny bone On a teeny tiny grave And the teeny tiny woman Said to her teeny tiny self This teeny tiny bone Will make me some teeny tiny soup For my teeny tiny supper So the teeny tiny woman Put the teeny tiny bone Into her teeny tiny pocket And went home to her teeny tiny house Now when the teeny tiny woman Got home to her teeny tiny house She was a teeny tiny bit tired So she went up Her teeny tiny stairs To her teeny tiny bed And put the teeny tiny bone Into her teeny tiny cupboard And when this teeny tiny woman Had been to sleep a teeny tiny time She was awakened By a teeny tiny voice From the teeny tiny cupboard Which said give me my bone And this teeny tiny woman Was a teeny tiny frightened So she hid her teeny tiny head Under the teeny tiny clothes And went to sleep again And when she'd been to sleep again A teeny tiny time The teeny tiny voice Again cried out from the teeny tiny cupboard A teeny tiny louder Give me my bone This made the teeny tiny woman A teeny tiny more frightened So she hid her teeny tiny head A teeny tiny further under the teeny tiny clothes And when the teeny tiny woman Had been to sleep again a teeny tiny time The teeny tiny voice From the teeny tiny cupboard Said again a teeny tiny louder Give me my bone And this teeny tiny woman Was a teeny tiny bit more frightened But she put her teeny tiny head Out of the teeny tiny clothes And said in her loudest teeny tiny voice Take it! End of Chapter 12 Teeny tiny This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information Or to find out how you can volunteer Please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Joy Chan English fairy tales Collected by Joseph Jacobs Chapter 13 Jack and the Beanstalk Once upon a time a poor widow Who had an only son named Jack And a cow named Milky White And all they had to live on Was the milk the cow gave every morning Which they carried to the market and sold But one morning Milky White gave no milk And they didn't know what to do What shall we do? What shall we do? said the widow Reinging her hands Cheer up mother I'll go and get work somewhere Jack We've tried that before Nobody would take you, said his mother We must sell Milky White And with the money do something Start shop or something Alright mother, says Jack It's market day today And I'll soon sell Milky White And then we'll see what we can do So he took the cow's halter in his hand And off he starts He hadn't gone far when he met A funny looking old man who said to him Good morning Jack Good morning to you, said Jack And wondered how he knew his name Well Jack, and where are you off to? said the man I'm going to market to sell our cow here Oh you look the proper sort of trap to sell cows Said the man I wonder if you know how many beans make five Two in each hand and one in your mouth Says Jack, as sharp as a needle Right you are, said the man And here they are, the very beans themselves He went on pulling out of his pocket A number of strange looking beans As you are so sharp, says he I don't mind doing a swap with you Your cow for these beans Walker, says Jack, wouldn't you like it? Ah, you don't know what these beans are, said the man If you plant them overnight By morning they grow right up to the sky Really, says Jack You don't say so Yes that is so And if it doesn't turn out to be true You can have your cow back Right, says Jack And hands him over milky white halter And pockets the beans Back goes Jack home And as he hadn't gone very far It wasn't dusk by the time he got to his door What, back Jack? Said his mother I see you haven't got milky white So you've sold her How much did you get for her? You'll never guess mother Says Jack No, you don't say so Good boy, five pounds Ten, fifteen No, it can't be twenty I told you you couldn't guess What do you say to these beans? They're magical Plant them overnight and What, says Jack's mother Have you been such a fool Such a doll, such an idiot As to give away my milky white The best milker in the parish And prime beef to boot For a set of poultry beans Take that, take that, take that And as for your precious beans Here they go out of the window And now off with you to bed Not a such shall you drink And not a bitch shall you swallow this very night He went upstairs to his little room in the attic And said and sorry he was To be sure, as much for his mother's sake Is for the loss of his supper At last he dropped off to sleep When he woke up The room looked so funny The sun was shining into part of it And yet all the rest Was quite dark and shady So Jack jumped up And dressed himself and went to the window And what do you think he saw? Why, the beans His mother had thrown out of the window Into the garden, had sprung up Into a big beanstalk Which went up and up and up Till it reached the sky So the man spoke truth after all The beanstalk Grew up quite close Past Jack's window So all he had to do was to open it And give a jump onto the beanstalk Which was made like a big plaited ladder So Jack climbed and he climbed And he climbed and he climbed And he climbed and he climbed Till at last he reached the sky And when he got there He found a long broad road Going as straight as a dart So he walked along And he walked along Till he came to a great big tall house And on the doorstep there Was a great big tall woman Good morning mum, says Jack Quite polite like Should you be so kind as to give me some breakfast? For he hadn't had anything to eat You know, the night before And was as hungry as a hunter It's breakfast you want, is it? Says the great big tall woman It's breakfast you'll be if you don't move off from here My man is an ogre And there's nothing he likes better Than boys broiled on toast You'd better be moving on or he'll soon be coming Oh please mum, do give me something to eat mum I've had nothing to eat since yesterday morning Really and truly mum, says Jack I may as well be broiled as die of hunger Well the ogre's wife Wasn't such a bad sort after all So she took Jack into the kitchen And gave him a junk of bread and cheese And a jug of milk But Jack hadn't half finished these When thump, thump, thump The whole house began to tremble With the noise of someone coming Goodness gracious me it's my old man Said the ogre's wife What on earth shall I do? Here come quick and jump in here And she bundled Jack into the oven Just as the ogre came in He was a big one to be sure At his belt he had three calves Strung up by the heels And he unhooked them And threw them down on the table And said, here wife Broil me a couple of these for breakfast Ah, what's this I smell? Fee, fie, foe, fum I smell the blood of an Englishman Be here you lie or be he dead Or have his bones to grind my bread Nonsense dear, said his wife You're dreaming Or perhaps you smell the scraps of that little boy You liked so much for yesterday's dinner Here, go you and have a wash And tidy up And by the time you come back Your breakfast will be ready for you So the ogre went off And Jack was just going to jump out of the oven And run off when the woman told him not Wait till he's asleep, says she He always has a snooze after breakfast Well, the ogre had his breakfast And after that He goes to a big chest And takes out of it a couple of bags of gold And sits down counting them Till at last his head began to nod And he began to snore Till the whole house shook again Then Jack crept out on tiptoe from his oven And as he was passing the ogre He took one of the bags of gold under his arm And off he pelters Till he came to the beanstalk And then he threw down the bag of gold Which of course fell into his mother's garden And then he climbed down And climbed down Till at last he got home And told his mother And showed her the gold and said Well mother, wasn't I right about the beans They are really magical you see So they lived on the bag of gold for some time But at last they came to the end of that So Jack made up his mind To try his luck once more Up at the top of the beanstalk So one fine morning He got up early And got onto the beanstalk And he climbed and he climbed And he climbed and he climbed And he climbed and he climbed Till at last he had got on the road again And came to the great big tall house He had been to before There sure enough Was the great big tall woman Standing on the doorstep Good morning mum Says Jack as bold as brass Could you be so good as to give me something to eat? Go away my boy Said the big tall woman Or else my man will eat you up for breakfast But aren't you the youngster Who came here once before That very day My man missed one of his bags of gold That's strange mum Says Jack I dare say I could tell you something about that But I'm so hungry I can't speak till I've had something to eat Well the big tall woman Was that curious That she took him in and gave him something to eat But he had scarcely began Munching it as slowly as he could When thump Thump thump They heard the giant's footsteps And his wife hid Jack away in the oven All happened as it did before In came the ogre as he did before Said And had his breakfast of three broiled oxen Then he said Wife bring me the hen that lays the golden eggs So she brought it And the ogre said Lay And then the ogre began to nod his head And to snore till the house shook Then Jack crept out of the oven on tiptoe And caught hold of the golden hen And was off before you could say Jack Robinson But this time The hen gave a cackle which woke the ogre And just as Jack got out of the house He heard him calling Wife, wife What have you done with my golden hen And the wife said Same idea But that was all Jack heard For he rushed off to the beanstalk And climbed down like a house on fire And when he got home he showed his mother The wonderful hen and said Lay to it And it laid a golden egg every time He said lay Well Jack was not content And it wasn't very long before he determined To have another try at his luck Up there at the top of the beanstalk So one fine morning he got up early And went on to the beanstalk And he climbed and he climbed And he climbed and he climbed Till he got to the top But this time he knew better Than to go straight to the ogre's house And when he got near it He waited behind a bush Till he saw the ogre's wife Come out with a pail to get some water And then he crept into the house And got into the copper He hadn't been there long When he heard Thump, thump As before And in come the ogre and his wife Fee, fie, foe, fum I smell the blood of an Englishman Cried out the ogre I smell him wife, I smell him Do you my dearie Says the ogre's wife Then if it's that little rogue that stole your gold And the hen that laid the golden eggs He's sure to have gotten to the oven And they both rushed to the oven But Jack wasn't there luckily And the ogre's wife said There you are again with your fie, fie, foe, fum Where of course it's the laddie you caught last night That I've broiled for your breakfast How forgetful I am and how careless you are Not to tell the difference between a liven and a dead one So the ogre sat down to the breakfast And ate it But every now and then he would mutter Well, I could have sawn And he'd get up and search the larder And the cupboards and everything Only luckily He didn't think of the copper After breakfast was over The ogre called out Wife, wife, bring me my golden harp So she brought it And put it on the table before him Then he said sing And the golden harp Sang most beautifully And it went on singing till the ogre fell asleep And commenced to snore like thunder Then Jack lifted up the copper lid Very quietly He walked down like a mouse And crept on hands and knees Till he got to the table when he got up And caught hold of the golden harp And dashed with it towards the door But the harp called out quite loud Master, master And the ogre woke up Just in time to see Jack running off With his harp Jack ran as fast as he could And the ogre came rushing after And would soon have caught him Only Jack had a start He found him a bit And knew where he was going When he got to the beanstalk The ogre was not more than 20 yards away When suddenly he saw Jack disappear Like And when he got up to the end of the road He saw Jack underneath climbing down For dear life Well the ogre didn't like trusting himself To such a ladder And he stood and waited So Jack got another start But just then the harp cried out And the ogre swung himself down Onto the beanstalk Which shook with his weight Down climbs Jack And after him climbed the ogre By this time Jack had climbed down and climbed down And climbed down till he was very nearly home So he called out Mother, mother bring me an axe Bring me an axe And his mother came rushing out With the axe in her hand But when she came to the beanstalk She stood stock still with fright For there she saw the ogre Just coming down below the clouds But Jack jumped down And got hold of the axe And gave a chop at the beanstalk Which cut it half in two The ogre felt the beanstalk shake And quiver So he stopped to see what was the matter Then Jack gave another chop with the axe And the beanstalk was cut in two And began to topple over Then the ogre fell down Which was crown And the beanstalk came toppling after Then Jack showed his mother His golden harp And what was showing that And selling the golden eggs Jack and his mother became very rich And he married a great princess And they lived happy ever after End of chapter 13 Jack and the Beanstalk This is a Librebox recording All Librebox recordings are in the public domain For more information If you want to find out how you can volunteer Please visit Librebox.org Recording by Joy Chan English fairy tales Collected by Joseph Jacobs Chapter 14 The Story of the Three Little Peaks Once upon a time When pigs spoke lion And monkeys chewed tobacco And hens took snuff to make them tough And ducks went quack quack quack quack There was an old sow And pigs And as she had not enough to keep them She sent them out to seek their fortune The first that went off Let a man with a bundle of straw Said to him Please man, give me that straw To build me a house Which the man did And the little pig built a house with it Presently came along a walk And knocked at the door and said Little pig, little pig Let me come in No, no, by the hair of my chinny chin chin The wolf then answered to that Then I'll huff and I'll puff And I'll blow your house in So he huffed and he puffed And he blew his house in And ate up the little pig The second little pig met a man With a bundle of furs and said Please man, give me that furs To build a house Which the man did To build his house Then along came the wolf and said Little pig, little pig Let me come in No, no, by the hair of my chinny chin chin Then I'll puff and I'll huff And I'll blow your house in So he huffed and he puffed And he puffed and he huffed And at last he blew the house down And he ate up the little pig The third little pig met a man With a load of bricks and said Please man, give me those bricks To build a house with So the man gave him the bricks And he built his house with them So the wolf came As he did to the other little pigs And said Little pig, little pig, let me come in No, no, by the hair of my chinny chin chin Then I'll huff and I'll puff And I'll blow your house in Well, he huffed And he puffed And he puffed And he huffed But he could not get the house down When he found that he could not With all his huffing and puffing Blow the house down, he said Little pig I know where there is a nice field of termites Where? Said the little pig Oh and Mr Smith's home field And if you will be ready tomorrow morning I will call for you And we will go together and get some for dinner Very well, said the little pig I will be ready What time do you mean to go? Oh, at six o'clock Well, the little pig got up at five And got the tenets before the wolf came Which he did about six And he said Little pig, are you ready? The little pig said Ready, I have been and come back again And got a nice potful for dinner The wolf thought very angry at this But thought that he would be up To the little pig somehow or other So he said Little pig I know where there is a nice apple tree Where? said the pig Down at Mary Garden, replied the wolf And if you will not deceive me I will come for you At five o'clock tomorrow And get some apples Well, the little pig Gossels up the next morning at four o'clock And went off for the apples And to go get back before the wolf came But he had further to go and had to climb the tree So that just as he was coming down from it He saw the wolf coming Which, as you may suppose Frightened him very much When the wolf came up he said Little pig, what? Are you here before me? Are they nice apples? Yes, very, said the little pig I will throw you down one And he threw it so far that While the wolf was gone to pick it up The little pig jumped down and ran home The next day the wolf came again And said to the little pig Little pig, there is a fair shanklin this afternoon Will you go? Oh, yes, said the pig I will go What time shall you be ready? At three, said the wolf So the little pig went off Before the time as usual And got to the fair And bought a butter chair And he saw the wolf coming Then he could not tell what to do So he got into the churn to hide And by so doing turned it round And it rolled down the hill With the pig in it Which frightened the wolf so much That he ran home without going to the fair He went to the little pig's house And told him how frightened he had been By a great round thing Which came down the hill past him Then the little pig said Ha, I frightened you then I had been to the fair And bought a butter chair And when I saw you I got into it And rolled down the hill Then the wolf was very angry indeed And declared he would eat up the little pig And that he would get down the chimney after him When the little pig Saw what he was about He hung on the pot full of water And made up a blazing fire And, just as the wolf Was coming down, took off the cover And in fell the wolf So the little pig put on the cover again In an instant, brought him up And ate him for supper And lived happy ever afterwards End of Chapter 14 The story of the three little pigs This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information Or to find out how you can volunteer Please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Joy Chan English fairytales Collected by Joseph Jacobs Chapter 15 The Master and his pupil There was once a very learned man In the North Country He knew all the languages under the sun And he was acquainted with all the mysteries Of creation He had one big book bound In black calf and clasped with iron And with iron corners And chained to a table Which was made fast to the floor And when he read out of this book He unlocked it with an iron key And none but he read from it For it contained all the secrets Of the spiritual world It told how many angels there were in heaven And how they marched in their ranks And sang in their choirs And what were their several functions And what was the name Of each great angel of might And it told of the demons How many of them there were And what were their several powers And their labours and their names And how they might be summoned And how tasks might be imposed on them And how they might be chained To be as slaves to man Now the master had a pupil Who was but a foolish lad And he acted a servant to the great master But never was he suffered To look into the black book Hardly to enter the private room One day the master was out And then the lad As curious as could be Hurryed to the chamber where his master kept His wondrous apparatus For changing copper into gold And lead into silver And where was his mirror In which he could see all that was passing in the world And where was the shell which went Held to the ear, whispered all the words That were being spoken By anyone that the master desired to know The lad tried in vain With the cruciples to turn copper And lead into gold and silver He looked long and vainly into the mirror Smoking clouds passed over it But he saw nothing plain And the shell to his ear Produced only indistinct memories Like the breaking of distant seas On an unknown shore I can do nothing, he said As I don't know the right words to utter And they are locked up in Yon Book He looked round and see The book was unfastened The master had forgotten to lock it Before he went out The boy rushed to it And unclosed the volume It was written with red and black ink And much of it he could not understand But he put his finger on a line And spelled it through At once the room was darkened And the house trembled A clap of thunder rolled through The passage in the old room And there stood before him A horrible, horrible form Breathing fire and with eyes Like burning lamps It was the demon Beelzeba Whom he had called up to serve him Set me a task, said he With a voice like the roaring Of an iron furnace The boy only trembled And his hair stood up Set me a task, or I shall strangle thee But the lad could not speak Then the evil spirit Stepped towards him And putting forth his hand Touched his throat The fingers burned his flesh A task Water-yorn flower cried the boy in despair Pointing to a geranium Which stood in a pot on the floor Instantly The spirit left the room But in another instant he returned With a barrel on his back And poured its contents over the flower And again and again he went and came And poured more and more water Till the floor of the room was ankle deep Enough, enough, gasped the lad But the demon heeded him not The lad didn't know the words By which to send him away And still he fetched water It rose to the boy's knees And still more water was poured It mounted to his waist And Beelzebub still kept on Bringing barrels full It rose to his armpits And he scrambled to the tabletop And now the water in the room Stood up to the window And washed against the glass His feet on the table It still rose It reached his breast In vain he cried The evil spirit would not be dismissed And to this day he would have been pouring water And would have drowned all Yorkshire But the master Remembered on his journey That he had not locked his book And therefore returned And at the moment when the water was bubbling About the pupil's chin Rushed into the room and spoke the words