 The message I titled three-legged chair even though on the picture here is looks like four one is missing or something That's not what I quite had in mind, but you'll get the point Something let's let's do some something like this Three legs right here I'll just keep it here just for a second. So we get we get the point what I'm going to be about to talk about Let's open to Ecclesiastes chapter 4 verse 12. This is going to be our verse for the night and It says this a person standing alone can be attacked and defeated But two can stand back to back and conquer three even better at triple braided cord is not easily broken Say triple braided cord Not easily broken what the scripture is saying is that You have to have three components in your life For you to be stable you need to have you to be surrounded By people in your life for you to have a stable life for you to be victorious for example this This stand right here or imagine a chair three-legged chair It can't function Without one or the other if you take this leg it will fall this way if you take this leg It'll fall that way if you take this leg it will fall this way. So all three legs are necessary For stability and success for something to rest upon it for you to rest on the three-legged chairs You have to have the three components to it right three legs So this month you'll see what I'm going to but this month is is month of February and This is a month of love and so usually and now in a month of February we like to as a church We like to go through a relationship series to kind of remind ourselves and to guide ourselves and guide our relationships To be better. How many you guys want to have a better relationships? Or about half of you and the rest of you either have a great relationships or you don't desire great relationship Okay, I hope all of you desire to have a great relationship or maybe perhaps you're single you say I don't care That's that's an option as well So today I want to talk about three legs of a successful relationship and those of you that were at a Valentine's banquet. I I'm gonna kind of repeat few things and add a few more But there in order for our relationship to prosper in order for our relationship to succeed. I believe that these three components are Extremely important and one doesn't function without the other. So what are they I? believe the first and most important Component for you to prosper in your life for you to prosper in your Relationships is you have to have a master. I'm gonna introduce to you three m's. It's simple master mentor and Maturity, let's talk about the first point mentor master, please Yes, thank you see and we live in this world and There is no gray areas. There is no in the middle You either have you either have Jesus as your Lord as the master of your life or by default you are a slave to sin we were born sinners and We automatically We inclined to sin to be a slave of sin It's when even a small child that was just born an innocent child nobody teaches them to lie Nobody teaches them to cheat. Nobody teaches them anything bad, but yet somehow They discover those things on their own they're naturally drawn It simply shows that our nature is corrupt our nature is enslaved to sin So today your life can be either under the Under under the influence of unclean spirit. It can be ruled by an unclean spirit or it can be guided by the Holy Spirit there is no middle ground and I believe number one component for a successful relationship for a successful life is to have a Master is to have Jesus as your Lord and Savior and not you know Like this gentleman that we just saw the testimony used to be a baseball baseball player and he he said he committed his life to Jesus He prayed as soon as spread age of 16, but in reality Jesus was not the master of his life Jesus was not the Lord of his life. He did whatever he wanted just because you come to church And you like the positive atmosphere if you like the friends around that doesn't mean That Jesus is your Lord and Savior doesn't mean that Jesus is the master of your life You can live for yourself, but in reality you never real for you. You never live for yourself You are enslaved to your flesh, which is controlled and influenced by Demand by Satan by demons by unclean spirits. There was a story that helped me to understand this when I was very young by my Sunday school teacher That was maybe about 13 or 12 when she said the story and made me really understand and she began to explain Back in the history when there used to be slaves and they used to buy slaves and sell slaves There was this gentleman they came to the market to buy a slave and he bought this slave Then the slave previous slave owner brought that slave out to him and changed He took him and they started walking out of the marketplace where they were selling slaves And when he turned around and asked to the slave, what is your name the slave spit in his face and said I hate you and and and so then The new master he unshuckled he didn't he wiped his spit away He didn't respond in anger or anything. He wiped the spit away. He unshuckled his chains He dug into his purse He gave him the papers of freedom and said you're free to go So the slave was baffled He was he was expected to be slapped and beaten for what he just did like he was with his previous owners He was confused at first. He was looking. He was lost for words Then he grabbed his papers and just took off running and As it was running running and then he slowed down slowed down and stopped looked at the papers and Walked back to the master that just purchased him Gave him the papers and said I will serve you for the rest of my life and He said why would you do that? He's like I just bought you. You're free to go You don't have to do it. He's like if you're willing to give me my freedom I'm why I know you're gonna be a good master. You could serve and I'll willing to serve you see that He understood he's a black man Back those days, you know the slavery. He said he understood that a chances of him getting caught and getting enslaved again It's pretty high and who knows what kind of master is gonna be how who what kind of master? He's gonna have the next next time around But if this person bought his life with his own money did not require of him anything and release them to freedom It was worth serving such a man knowing that this man will always take good care of him so in our lives when we In order for our lives and our relationships to be successful, we have to have a master We have to have a person and see our master Jesus Christ. He died for us. He died for our good He died for our blessed. He died to break the curse of our life And he is not the kind of a master that will rule that will dominate that will enslave and that will make You do things that you don't want to do See only unclean spirits their rule and dominate Holy Spirit. He guides he helps he He helps us to get to a blessed life to have a blessed marriage blessed relationships to be blessed in every area of our life so Lake number one of successful life and successful relationship is you have to submit yourself to a master a Master that will love you. They will take care of you. They will bless you see God is love and The second reason why I need to have a master in your life Why I need to have God in your life Why I need to have a relationship with God is because if you to give love which is a foundation for every relationship every marriage You have to get love somewhere. We as human beings. We're not capable of producing love on our own We are dependent on God who created us and since he is the source of love Unless we have a relationship with him unless we have a continuous fellowship with him unless we spend every morning with him So that we can draw love from him Then we won't be able to give any love So if you want to have a successful relationship, you have to have fellowship with God You have to have a real genuine relationship with God so that you can draw from him so that you can give To your spouse and to the people around you Married couples that pray together. They stay together There's this there's a study that's been done by state of the you state of our union in 2011 it said that the rate of satisfaction and marriage is higher for Husbands and wives when they both regularly maintain religious religious attendance and feel that God is in the center of their marriage if you want to have a success if you if you want your marriage to rest and Not be broken Your first and primary leg has to that you have to have a master say master If you're single and you're looking to mingle and you're getting ready to get married or you're looking for a spouse Bible clearly calls us and tells us that we should not be unequally yoked. What does that mean? That means that you can't be in relationship with the person Who doesn't share your faith? Because that relationship is missing that leg is Missing the leg of a master that means Jesus is not the center of it Whatever excuses you can make what he's a good person. He doesn't do this. She doesn't do that You know, she has a great character. She got great looks whatever the reason is if Jesus is not her master Your relationship is doomed to fail and so First leg our successful relationship is to have a master second leg of of a relationship is To have mentors Mentor there are only two sources of learning in life. It's either mistakes or it's mentors Mentors are less expensive expense Mistakes are way too costly if you get into a relationship that is You know being guided either by by bad advice or Figuring in relationship Against advice of your parents against advice of your pastor your home group leader, you know things that are done You go on into a relationship that you shouldn't be in or maybe it's not your time or maybe just things that there are many red flags And then you make that mistake That mistake of eventually you have to pay for the mistake with time which you can't take back But that then five years later Johnny is already married and has three kids with somebody else and you still crying over him The mistakes that you've made that person ready to move down when somebody else is not even thinking about you But you're still holding a grudge and you still can't get over it person Maybe did some certain things mistreated you Be unfaithful and you used to carry the scars eventually for years and years to come and The other person moves on and you don't even know mistakes are too costly mentors are cheaper Choose to be mentored in your life choose to involve mentors in your Relationships you always have mentors in your life. It depends what kind you have Bible says that bad company corrupts good morals Bible spoke that thousands and thousands of years ago. Let me tell you something that Dr. Rose McDermott of Brown University in Rhode Island said He said a person tendencies to divorce depends not just on a friend's divorce status But also extend to his friends friends The full network shows the participants are 75% more likely to divorce if a person That they directly connected to is divorced the size is affected to your people of the second degree of separation For example, the friend of a friend is divorced Then you have a 33% chances to get divorced and only the third generation third degree of friends of friends of friends that they have no effect so the The doctor from the University confirms what the Bible said thousands of years ago that if you're surrounded by company The statistics says that if you if you are as a married person You have friends that are single and you call and you are And you are confined in them. You're more likely to get divorced because they'll give you advice as a single person So you have to surround yourself Surround yourself by the right kind of people you have to surround yourself by right kind of mentors You have to allow people to speak into your life and the way you allow people to speak into your life is By coming to church regularly Attending listening to advice to the to the message to the truth that's been speaking Committing yourself to the mentorship in your home groups to your leaders when you are ready to enter into a relationship Get people involved get pastors involved get your leaders involved ask for advice Be transparent be open to them so that they can guide you in this area And now you know in our church now It's popular to say I have a mentor and it's a good thing But a lot of times what I mean is like I have a home group leader, but I don't Me and him we know we don't connect or me and her we don't connect You know, it just became a cool thing to say I have a mentor to having a mentor doesn't help you it's actually receiving and following the advice that will help you to Stabilize your life and to have receive a blessing in your life In a good news About marriage by Shanti folden. She said the couples that are committed to church Committed to church and attend regularly are two or three times less likely to get divorced less than 50% 15% depending if it was their first second or third marriage And we know that the statistic in us that over half of the marriages end up in divorce So if you want to have a life of blessing in your relationships if you want to have a life of blessing in your In in every area of your life you have to have people you have to have mentors in your life that can mentor you don't come to the mentor and Get them up to date what you are doing Instead of asking for an advice Sometimes people come to me and say well Here's what I did this and this and this what do you think about it? Well, what do you care? What I think about it you sounds like you already made up the plan you already have you already Discover what you want to do you already set your mind? What do you want me to say like what do you want me to? What else do you want me to say? It's not It's not you have when you come and when you have Mentors and people that advising you off you have to come to them as a as an open book with nothing written in you You have to come and ask them for what they would say how they would recommend you to go about it How what did they think about that person because they're emotionally not involved and they can they can help you in that In that area and give you a sound advice Surround yourself with people that you are willing to exchange place with Surround yourself with people that you are willing to trade places with Don't be with people that Don't challenge you They don't challenge you to grow. They don't challenge you to mature. They don't challenge you to to Spend more time with God. They don't challenge you to be more patient more loving more kind be with people That surround yourself with people that you want to be like Because just like a bad company corrupts good morals a good company Will help you to grow will help you to become a better person And will help you to reach the goal and the destiny that you want to achieve amen say master Say mentor 13 or before we go to the 13 Satan's goal is to separate you is to Isolate you from godly advice and A lot of times what happens is people get into a relationship or they they get into dating and they know that The pastor might not approve or the parents might not approve or the leader might not approve and so what? What what automatically they do this begin to they begin to withdraw themselves They begin to isolate themselves because they know that there is a chance that they might say no There's a chance that might correct them. There's a chance that might tell them to do things that they don't like and It works well in Satan's strategy the moment he can isolate you it is so much easier for him to defeat you Do not ever allow yourself in any situation to be isolated Isolation brings anxiety depression loneliness isolation breath breath Resentment and these are all the things That Satan is trying to put into our life to poison us and then to destroy our life Don't wait until things get so bad That you can't bear it anymore the moment you see things are going south Begin to ask for advice begin to open yourself up begin to ask people Those people so they can speak into your life to give you guidance and give you direction and Third leg of a successful relationship is maturity What is maturity? Maturity is to live by choices not by feelings Maturity is to be big enough To fit the other person's mistake See there is no problem too big to solve There is just people that are too small to handle it Any problem in marriage in relationships is solvable even the problem of unfaithfulness is solvable There is a solution with God. There's nothing that cannot be repaired and cannot be restored Every problem regardless how big they are how big it is it can be solved The problem is that the people are not mature enough people are too small Their hearts are too small to be able to fit other's person mistake and be able to handle it the way God calls us to handle mistakes and forgive and move on Maturity is being able to say sorry even when it's not your fault Maturity is being able to see beyond the physical and see the spiritual root of things This is probably the biggest thing you can mature in as a Christian You have to understand that we live in a spiritual world where there is Holy Spirit that brings joy peace love that brings Kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness self-control and there is Unclean spirits. There is demonic spirits that bring depression anxiety that bring lack of control that bring Unfaithfulness that that bring roughness and anger and so when things begin to when things begin to Get rocky in relationships. It takes a mature person To stop and instead of fighting the other person instead of fighting an issue instead of fighting the fruits Begin to see the spiritual aspect begin to see that that that behind this fight because behind this anger Behind this depression behind this anxiety There's an evil spirit and needs to dealt it needs to be dealt spirits It needs to be renounced and cast out and then they can come the Holy Spirit who can bring love joy peace harmony and Restoration it takes a mature person to be able to see beyond the physical and see into spiritual See maturity doesn't come doesn't always come with age. Sometimes age travels by itself and so when Maturity is a choices that you make It's not the age that you attain some people say, well, I'm just gonna wait till I'm 30 to get married You know so that I can be more mature. No maturity starts now Maturity starts making decisions run now maturity starts not when you're 30 is when you begin to take responsibilities for your actions and follow through on the words that you say say master mentor Maturity these are the three legs that your relationship can succeed on if you're single and You're looking for a person. You're looking to get married. You're looking for that the one this couple things of advice When you look for the other person look not at how much they make Look how mature they are Always choose maturity over money because maturity will get you money eventually, but money never brings maturity Look at how they're treating their siblings and look how their relationship is with their parents This will give you will give you very good indication of how they will treat you when you get married to them This will show you how mature they are Another trade to look at how do they treat people that are below them? That will show you the kind of character. They have see if they're committed to church. They're committed to God Don't make excuses for them being inconsistent With church attendance and their relationship with God If they say well, I'm too busy Well, you are in control of your own time and you make your own schedule You make room for what's important to you and if you can't make room for relationship with God if you can't make room for Two hours a week or four hours a week to come and spend time in fellowship spend time in the proper atmosphere If you can't make room to spend time with God Then it's not the person for you How can you trust your life into that person's hand if they can't if you don't know what hand what what What hands their life is in so these three things that You know, I've been married for I've been married for nine years now and going on ten and You know, I these these three lessons that I I've seen in my life How they helped me and I've seen how I when I removed one of these legs or lost one of these legs how they really Brought my life down and I want to tell you that is that if you have a strong relationship with God If you have a strong relationship with God it will always help your relationship because I you can ask my wife that she receives the most nicest text messages from me and Most sincere apologies when I messed up that usually happens After the time I spend with God and God convicts me and say, you know, you go You better go make it things right with her before you come and talk to me And apostle Paul says that in the scripture says that that to have a good relationship with our wife So that our relationship with God will not be hindered Because if we can't Bible says if you can't love your neighbor that you see how can you claim to love God that you don't see and so When you have a relationship with God when God is the center of your relationship of your marriage If you're looking for a person and you're looking for the other person that they have a God is a center of the life I tell you that you will not lose in your life. You will not Lose in your relationship even with when when when hard times will come When there is when God is a foundation of your life. There is nothing that can be fixed and When you have mentors Allow them to speak into your life. Allow them to guide you Allow them to lead you to the right to to the right decision your life helped them allow God to Use your mentors to speak to you. Some people say well, I don't need anybody You know God speaks to me Well, if you look through the Bible and how God spoke to people most of the time God spoke to people through prophets pastors leaders and mentors and If you don't learn how to submit yourself to the pastor leader mentor your parent God will not speak to you I can get you a hundred percent Because first you have to show humility and respect for the authority that God said before God begins to speak To you directly Submit yourself to mentorship and make a choice today Regardless of the age you are at regardless if you're married or single it's never too late to start growing up to start Matureing to start living by the choices not by the feelings to start living according To the word of God in Jesus name This is what it takes to be successful in life in every area. It applies not only to relationship in every area But specifically in relationship you have to have a master you have to have a mentor and you have to Mature in Jesus mighty name. Did you receive something this evening church? Right now before we're gonna go and spend some time in prayer and we're gonna come against certain things in our lives I want us to go into worship and just begin to worship God Invite the spirit of God so the Holy Spirit can begin to melt that word that he was he just spoke in our hearts So that seat can go deeper in our hearts and so that we can we can go and come against right now and pray against those things in our Life that's stopping us in Jesus name. Let's get