 G'day mate, 40 here. So when I was graduating to become an Alexander Technique teacher I thought a lot about how I wanted to be the most awesome Alexander Technique teacher ever Okay, I just wanted to revolutionize the whole field of Alexander Technique I wanted to make the most dramatic changes with my clients. I wanted to set the world on fire. I Wanted myself to be a good exemplar of the Alexander Technique I wanted to be able to tune into what was going on with someone and to spot their their interfering tension patterns. I wanted to have hands that could locate the unnecessary holding patterns in their body and help them to release it. So I was thinking as you might expect like very much in terms of ego like what I want to accomplish with my Alexander Technique teaching practice and I wanted to be awesome and I still do and I still enjoy having awesome clients and I enjoy seeing them perform on Broadway or perform on TV or perform on the runway or billionaires who are successful in business like I love I love success. I love being a successful Alexander Technique teacher. I love making a difference in people's lives. It's exciting to have clients doing exciting things but I was able to relax because I remember shortly before I became an Alexander Technique teacher I was interviewing other Alexander Technique teachers and there was this one guy who's something really important I think I was asking him you know how awesome are you as a teacher and he essentially made the point that his job as an Alexander Technique teacher is primarily to transmit certain principles right it wasn't primarily about what dramatic job people got when you put your hands on them located the unnecessary tension and help them to let go of it it wasn't about your charisma it was about your ability to transmit certain principles. I thought oh yeah the Alexander Technique is certain principles for movement for example as the Alexander Technique teacher Erica Whitaker said if you're so absorbed in what you're doing that you can't stand up and walk to the window and look outside you're probably in compulsion right if you're doing something so that you can't even take take five seconds to stop and pause and look out the window you may well have some kind of compulsion going on and so one of the the principles of the Alexander Technique is to stop to pause to notice what you're doing and to open up a space for that freedom of choice so that you no longer just just compulsively knocking things out and so stopping and pausing and having a deep pause right and noticing the difference between when you're stopped and then when you're planning on doing something so I'm planning on picking up this screwdriver so right now I'm in a state of no planning and then I think okay I'm going to pick up this screwdriver and then noticing if I'm using unnecessary tension to pick up the screwdriver whether you know my thinking and my whole musculature and just kind of narrows down around the screwdriver so learning to expand one's field of awareness so notice the difference when I stand up and sit down like this is normally standing up sitting down and then I'm going to expand my field of awareness so I'm going to see both sides of the room simultaneously when I stand up and sit down so notice how I'm much more vertical so I'm expanding my field of awareness when I expand my field of awareness all sorts of good things happen when you expand your field of awareness you're not living in the past you're not living in the future you're not living in anxiety, rage, depression, concern, fear, loneliness you expand your field of awareness and it just sends this upward direction through your body and then another way to expand your field of awareness aside from seeing both sides of the room simultaneously and everything in front of you so having soft eyes so being in a state of awareness very different from a state of judgment so you have entered a judgment-free zone this is a safe space for you no judgment here all right I'm expanding my field of awareness and I'm going to do some silent la-la-las so unlike most breath exercises the silent la-la-las begin with the exhale they don't begin with an inhale when you inhale you don't want to be sucking in the air you just want to let the air come in and then it just it just transforms the quality of your voice and then another another great voice exercise I like is Boston Boston so Boston where your lower jaw comes at the end of Boston that should be its ideal physiological resting position Boston so a lot of people have bad TMJ they have way too much tension in here so Boston down there it's Boston that's that's where your jaw should be resting most of the time and another way to expand your field of awareness is to listen to all the different sounds all right and another way to expand your field of awareness is to be in a state of I wonder what will happen next all right when you think about I wonder what will happen next you don't think about that and then go down like this and get all depressed but when you think about I wonder what will happen next since upward direction through your body and you become more alive more aware more curious I wonder what will happen next up you go then another great trick is to tell yourself I'm not doing whatever it is that you're doing so I'm going to convince myself I'm not going to stand up I'm not standing up I'm not standing up not standing up I'm not standing up I'm not standing up and then just trick yourself and stand up all right I'm not standing up I'm not standing up I'm not standing up and then boom you just trick yourself so you can do that I'm not breathing I'm not breathing I'm not breathing and your breath will come easier when you go for a walk you can say I'm not walking I'm not walking I'm not walking and your walk will become easier and more graceful everything you do pretty much you'll do better if you tell yourself a message I'm not doing this so I'm not live streaming right now I'm not live streaming right now I'm just talking to a friend I'm not live streaming right now I'm not live streaming right now and somehow all the habits that we that we build they don't service right all the habitual ways that we develop the doing things they don't service we are far better off unconsciously walking unconsciously performing whenever you see a tennis match right usually it's the tennis player who is more at ease who is more graceful who's more likely to win when you see ice skaters it's usually the ice skaters who are most relaxed most graceful who the most likely to win meaning graceful relaxed meaning very few interfering compression and tension patterns so when I'm teaching the alexander technique it's uh it's not primarily about me it's simply about transmitting certain principles and helping people to understand those principles and how they might apply for say their level of performance so people tend to take alexander technique lessons for one or three major reasons one reason to deal with chronic pain which is created by unhelpful unnecessary tension and compression patterns that they can learn to notice and release so for relief of pain brought about by bad habits that's one reason why people take alexander technique lessons and another reason people take lessons is for a higher level of performance so when you let go of your interfering tension patterns whatever you're doing you can do it more easily and gracefully and effectively then third reason people take alexander technique lessons is for personal growth you learn to notice your habitual patterns so here's a chair and you'll notice before you go sit in a chair you'll you'll start tensing and compressing when you're still a few feet away so this is the typical person as they're preparing to sit in the chair like from here they're already they're holding their breath they're making themselves smaller and tighter and then they're just kind of collapsing into the chair right so they have they're not even conscious of all these interfering tension and compression patterns that uh they're they're creating every time they simply sit down and eventually these tension and compression patterns they get tighter and tighter and tighter and tighter until the toss of everyday life become painful right even reaching into the back of the fridge to get a soft drink right becomes painful reaching down to pick up a sock it becomes painful right because we just layer on all these compression patterns and people generally speaking they don't want to do the subtraction of these unnecessary patterns they just want to take on something new they just want to say oh i'm just going to do yoga i'm just going to do these new exercises rather than looking at their interfering patterns of behavior that are not in their own best interests and so too with being a sponsor like i wanted to be the most awesome sponsor i wanted to have sponsors that would change the world i wanted to help bring about dramatic changes in the lives of my sponsors i wanted to be a rock star sponsor but uh that's just ego right as a sponsor all i'm really trying to do is transmit the eternal spiritual principles found in the big book of alcoholics anonymous to whatever particular 12-step program that i'm talking about so again i can i can just experience my ego and i can just feel it like a wind blowing through me and i don't have to hold on to it and i don't have to grasp it i didn't have to berate myself for having it but again whether it's teaching alexander technique or being a sponsor in a 12-step program it just comes down to principles over personalities so as a teacher and a sponsor i'm simply trying to transmit principles to people and it gives me pleasure to be of service to other people but it's not primarily about me right it's not i don't need to develop some kind of cold following i don't need to have an indispensable role in my sponsor's life like they rarely call me or text me or email me for for advice because i'm not primarily an advice man as a sponsor i'm just someone who's transmitting the teachings of the big big book sharing how those teachings help my life and how they might help your life so you'll never guess i think this this polo shirt i think i've had it since high school right i think this polo shirt is like 35 years old and i've had various people who tried to throw it away so my sister wanted to throw it away and various women in my life wanted to throw away this shirt but i've had this polo shirt since i was about 16 so i've had this polo shirt for 39 years a lot of history in this polo shirt like holly randall used to wear this polo shirt like this was the end this was preppy right this was a big deal in 1982 you want me to let go of this perfectly nice polo shirt right let's talk about how to change your life with three daily habits so addicts and if you're watching this show in all likelihood you're an addict to something or another the addicts are great at forming habits and that propensity when applied for the good can be life-changing so if you are struggling with addiction you are excellent at life-changing habits so here are habits to change your life put a priority i don't have any oh there okay i've got i do have some buttons i still got the buttons right this shirt's 39 years old and it's still got buttons there okay now now i'm a respectable Torah Jew okay habits to change your life yes time for a haircut uh prioritize learning what are you interested in what are you passionate about where do you feel you're lacking all right this is where you should be learning in your free time so lifelong learning is great practice for mental health and agility and it also ensures that you stay humble no one can possibly know everything and then number two have it for success invest in your mornings so there's a reason why morning routines are hailed by successful people all over the world is the key to unlocking your potential you can spend your morning hours taking control of your day the morning is the rudder of the day so you can invest in yourself before you serve other people so i take a cold shower brush my teeth make my bed take my supplements get on a 12 step meeting get outside get some of that early morning sunshine and then final habit invest in yourself take take alexander technique lessons wow six downvotes and no upvotes principles over personalities come on guys principles over personalities right addiction and estrangement so i notice with a lot of addicts that uh they have been estranged from those around them so the opposite of addiction is connection so this is the dominant theme i notice among addicts among people in the pornography industry lack of connection estrangement from family broken friendships broken community whether it's religious social educational political all right so tense relationships with siblings estrangement from siblings estrangement from parents this is a dominant trait that i notice among addicts so do the addictions produce these family problems and estrangement or do dysfunctional families resort in addiction so addiction is not just about brain chemistry the environment you live in is a factor so some people can be sailing along perfectly fine and then they get into a new situation that brings out their insecurity and anxiety and suddenly they start using right so the opposite of addiction is connection i just notice that addicts dominantly tend to be estranged from other people estranged from family in particular they often tend to be like so into their hobbies crypto gambling gaming music like they'd rather spend time with their classical music cds than with other people they'd rather spend time watching sports than with other people they would rather spend time meditating they'd rather spend hours a day meditating and praying rather than being with other people so normal person spends like eight hours plus a day around other people so i remember there were stages in my life where i was only spending about an hour a day around other people was basically i'd get a synagogue i'd delve in i'd study a page of talmud and i'd spend an hour and a half i guess every morning with people at synagogue then most of the rest of my day i was alone so i noticed that addicts get into you know watching tv watching movies their substances playing video games they tend to be estranged from others so the opposite of addiction is connection blessings and shabbat shalom