 Well, you know for some people it's very little. You know, they kind of stick to just the people they know It might be five percent. It might be zero. It might be ten percent However, the average in our study was thirty five percent so some people are walking around and 50 60 percent of the people and this was a nationally representative study so 50 or 60 percent of the people that they are interacting with on social media They've never actually met face-to-face What's up everybody and welcome to the show today. We drop great content each and every week And we want to make sure that you guys get notified and in order to do that You're gonna have to smash that subscribe button and hit that notification bell And if you've gotten a lot of value out of this make sure you give us a like and share our videos with your friends I certainly agree with the comparison part I'd like to unpack that a little bit more because I know everyone in our audience feels it and we're now living in a World where by pulling out a device that's ubiquitous. It's in our pocket. We can see inside each other's houses We can see what someone is doing on this fantastic trip We can see highlight reels of complete strangers and now we're not only comparing ourselves to our social circle to our community We're comparing ourselves to the entire world and that is certainly having a mental health impact So what is the research showing us there around comparison specifically setting aside all of the news and the doom-scrolling and what strategies Do the science show that can really help us overcome this comparison? Yeah, no, it's a great question and comparison is very interesting because There's another double whammy that unfortunately we are experiencing that makes this very problematic. Okay, Yikes I know I know as if as if we didn't have a you know enough All right, so there's always been comparison, right? You know you go into a classroom and somebody is better looking or has better, you know You know clothing or something then then then you do You know you go to work and you know someone's got a better car, you know something like that Advertising then came after you know sort of just our regular social Interactions and all of a sudden you're able to see that you know wow that model is Really really good-looking and definitely has a better car than I do however, there still is sort of a part of the human being that doesn't necessarily compare yourself to You know Brad Pitt well at least in my case I mean it so Instead we are meant to and we see this in the animal kingdom as well, you know baboons will Compare themselves to other baboons that are like them and They will try to do the same things that those similar baboons did or they will decide not to do things that other Baboons like them didn't do but the that other kind of baboon or that other kind of animal I don't necessarily follow. So in my case for example, you know, I I'm 52 You know, I'm I'm pretty Small I'm not extremely, you know like sports incline. So I'm not gonna really compare myself to Aaron Rogers I'm not gonna be all bummed that I don't have a quarterback rating of a hundred in 15 seasons, right? You know, that's not gonna upset me. However, if one of my friends is running a 5k Twice as fast as I am that is going to upset me. In other words, we we tend to have more Challenges and we tend to compare ourselves more and more Problematically to people who are in our demographic, you know, sort of groups And so what this means is that you've got this real double whammy with social media First of all, I don't I'm not friends with Aaron Rogers. I'm not friends with Warren Buffett So I'm not comparing myself to, you know, his portfolio, but on the other hand I am friends with, you know, other people that are like me And if they've got a bigger house or a better car or a boat or something that does, you know sort of mean more of a challenge for me mentally and so What that means is that I'm comparing myself to exactly the group that I'm most sensitive to but I'm not seeing them realistically Because they are all showing me one in five hundred pictures. So it I know that person. I know John, right? So I'm like, oh, that's John, but it's not really John. It's like an idealized version of John It's like super John, you know, and so I really shouldn't be comparing myself to that but I do and So therein lies the problem and why I think the social comparison is such is such an issue is that it's It's very very curated You know, well produced images, but it's also about the people and the the situations that I directly am programmed to compare myself to One of the things that I found interesting in reading the book You are bringing this up, but I couldn't also help but recognize that a lot of the relationships that we build online are non-reciprocal Right like I've built a relationship with this youtuber who's content I watch and who's blogging about their day and and I've connected to this person But they don't have any And I don't even exist to them, right? And so the the relationship is one way and I'm I'm curious to know if if that not being reciprocated Affects us and in any manner. I mean we certainly we leave comments We we maybe we write them to try to get some attention to say that we Enjoy their work and that we're here and and how much their work means to us But I'm sure that has to play some sort of role Mentally as if we are so connected with them But yet but yet we are we are so far away from them It definitely does and we actually have some science around this So for example, we did a study And published it that demonstrated that The number of your friends who are not face-to-face That number is directly related to depression So for example, if we say to a group of people Hey, what percentage of your friends, you know that you that you interact with regularly on social media You know, what percentage of those people are people you've never met face-to-face We drop great content each and every week and we want to make sure that you guys get notified and in order to do that You're gonna have to smash that subscribe button and hit that notification bell And if you've gotten a lot of value out of this make sure you give us a like and share our videos with your friends Well, you know for some people it's very little You know, they kind of stick to just the people they know it might be five percent. It might be zero. It might be 10 percent However, the average in our study was 35 percent So some people are walking around and 50 60 percent of the people and this was a nationally representative study So 50 or 60 percent of the people that they are interacting with on social media They've never actually met face-to-face and what we found is that for every 10 percent increment There's a significant likelihood that that person will be more depressed And the idea is I think related to what you're talking about Johnny in the sense that If you're not being reciprocated and if you don't really know what that person is like in real life You know, then you don't really have reality To temper some of the curating that's going on on social media If you know the person in you know in real life and you see this beautiful picture of them But you know that there's a double chin there because you've seen that double chin in real life Then you're kind of like, okay, you know, oh, that's you look so great But on the other hand if you've never seen that in real life, then you're thinking, oh my gosh You know every single person out there just is so fit and trim and and great And so I think that that's at least partially related to to what you're pointing out Well, certainly and and I think this is also why AJ and I go to such great lengths within our programs, we hold Masterminds and get-togethers quarterly so that our participants and for our own benefit get the meat Face-to-face the people we've been working with and it not only solidifies those relationships It solidifies the community and it offers more investment for our client's success And for them to feel good for everything that they are They are investing in themselves And I know for X Factor members when we talk about wins It's very easy to to build up a highlight reel of all the other Participants and to feel that everyone else is winning But you're not that you're falling behind And then when you get to spend time together in a room and actually interact with one another You really start to see the full picture that we're not seeing online We don't have that level of resolution And you know, I'm either fortunate or unfortunate to live in LA and be surrounded by influencers And have seen influencers in the wild and seen how much time effort and energy goes into curating a photo shoot Or a video shoot to get that one snapshot And all the effort that goes behind the scenes to realize well, I don't really want to be an influencer I don't want to put in that level of effort But if all I'm doing is following influencers and all I'm doing is interacting in this online space I'm really setting myself up for not only the comparison, but then also to feel really disconnected from reality So what I wanted to touch on it and Johnny and I have talked about this a little bit So we had Eric Weinstein on and we were talking about how Johnny's experience in the algorithm is different than my experience in the algorithm And at times it's caused friction And we're really great friends and business partners and we've both had to unplug and be like, okay Well, what what's reality here? Because now I realize that I'm living in this algorithm and and the world as it's being painted Is a certain color for me and a certain color for Johnny based on what he's clicking and interacting with And he was encountering news stories that I hadn't even heard of He was hearing narratives that I had never come in contact with And we're approaching Thanksgiving And we all have those family members who live on facebook who live in conspiracy theoryville and can Actually fray real relationships in real life because of what we're consuming in social media What is the science telling us around what's happening with misinformation Disinformation and and how it's fraying are real social ties the connections. We have built in real life It's a critical issue and you know piggybacking on everything that you're saying. I mean, I would even go as to as so far as to say Um, who are you aj? I mean because I see you in one way On this platform and I see you in this in a different way in person And I see you in a different way on this other platform And you yourself probably almost inhabit a different Persona in each of these different areas I mean, it's always been a little bit of a challenge because you know We present ourselves to our parents and our teachers very differently than we present ourselves to our best friends say, right? But you still have this sort of bit of core of identity But I think related to what you're saying We have such different experiences because this one is associated with this algorithm and this one is associated with this algorithm We can even be thinking wondering at this point kind of who exactly are we? I think a a a 2.0 step above You know old identity Formation challenges 1.0 was still difficult. I still had to figure out who I was You know with this group of friends versus this group of friends But I think that the the the sort of tech world has has has put that up even another level it's interesting um and talking about that and and one thing that Some of us have have been dealing with is No matter what platform you might be using your success or virility Your your content going viral It depends on how the algorithms are are being used So how I might interact with somebody on one platform is going to be different on interacting with somebody else Not only just due to what that platform is and what it's designed for But how the algorithms choose and use and put your stuff out there Of course when we see things like on twitter those the most Craziest and and Contrary and certainly get spread Much farther than say what what is going to happen on instagram and how we use those Both those platforms are Incredibly different which paints an Uncompletely different picture of who that person is