 Chapter 14 Book the First of Little Dorit Read for LibriVox.org by Ellis Christoff. Little Dorit by Charles Dickens. Book the First. Chapter 14 Little Dorit's Party. Arthur Clannum rose hastily and saw her standing at the door. This history must sometimes see with Little Dorit's eyes and shall begin that course by seeing him. Little Dorit looked into a dim room which seemed a spacious one to her and grandly furnished. Courtly ideas of Covent Garden as a place with famous coffee houses where gentlemen wearing gold-laced coats and swords had quarreled and fought duels. Costly ideas of Covent Garden as a place where there were flowers in winter at Guinea's apiece, pineapples at Guinea's apound, and peas at Guinea's apynd. Picturesque ideas of Covent Garden as a place where there was a mighty theatre showing wonderful and beautiful sights to richly dressed ladies and gentlemen and which was forever far beyond the rich of poor fanny or poor uncle. Desolate ideas of Covent Garden as having all those arches in it where the miserable children in rags among whom she had just now passed like young rats, slung and hid, fed an awful, huddled together for warmth, and were hunted about. Look to the rats young and old, old ye barnacles, for before God they are eating away our foundations and will bring the roofs on our heads. Teaming ideas of Covent Garden as a place of past and present mystery, romance, abundance, want, beauty, ugliness, fair country gardens and foul street gutters, all confused together, made the room dimmer than it was in little Doritz's eyes as they timidly saw it from the door. At first in the chair before the gone-out fire and then turned round wondering to see her was the gentleman whom she sought, the brown, grave gentleman who smiled so pleasantly, who was so frank and considerate in his manner, and yet in whose earnestness there was something that reminded her of his mother, with the great difference that she was earnest in asperity and he in gentleness. Now he regarded her with that attentive and inquiring look before which little Doritz's eyes had always fallen, and before which they fell still. My poor child, here at midnight. I, said little Doritz, sir, on purpose to prepare you, I knew you must be very much surprised. Are you alone? No sir, I have got Maggie with me. Considering her entrance sufficiently prepared for by this mention of her name, Maggie appeared from the landing outside on the broad grin. She instantly suppressed that manifestation, however, and became fixedly solemn. And I have no fire, said Clenum, and you are. He was going to say so lightly clad, but stopped himself in what would have been a reference to her poverty, saying instead, and it is so cold. Putting the chair from which he had risen nearer to the great, he made her sit down in it, and hurriedly bringing wood and coal heaped them together and got ablaze. Your food is like marble, my child. He had happened to touch it while stooping on one knee at his work of kindling the fire. Put it nearer the warmth. Little Doritz thanked him hastily. It was quite warm, it was very warm. It smote upon his heart to feel that she hid her thin, worn shoe. Little Doritz was not ashamed of her poor shoes. He knew her story, and it was not that. Little Doritz had a misgiving that he might blame her father, if he saw them. That he might think, why did he dine today and leave this little creature to the mercy of the cold stones? Little Doritz had no belief that it would have been just reflection. She simply knew by experience that such delusions did sometimes present themselves to people. It was a part of her father's misfortunes that they did. Before I say anything else, little Doritz began sitting before the pale fire and raising her eyes again to the face which in its harmonious look of interest and pity and protection would be a mystery far above her indigree and almost removed beyond her guessing at. May I tell you something, sir? Yes, my child. A slight shade of distress fell upon her as he so often calling her a child. She was surprised that he should see it or think of such a slight thing, but he said directly, I wanted a tender word and could think of no other and just now gave yourself the name they give you at my mother's and as that is the name by which I always think of you, let me call you Little Dorit. Thank you, sir. I should like it better than any name. Little Dorit. Little Mother. Maggie, who had been falling asleep, put in as a correction. It's all the same, Maggie, returned Little Dorit. All the same. Is it all the same mother? Just the same. Maggie laughed and immediately snored. In Little Dorit's eyes and ears, the uncouth figure and the uncouth sound were as pleasant as could be. There was a glow of pride in her big child overspreading her face when it again met the eyes of the grave-brown gentleman. She wondered what he was thinking of as he looked at Maggie and her. She thought what a good father he would be. How, with some such look, he would counsel and cherish his daughter. What I was going to tell you, sir, said Little Dorit, is that my brother is at large. Father was rejoiced to hear it and hoped he would do well. And what I was going to tell you, sir, said Little Dorit trembling in all her little figure and in her voice, is that I am not to know whose generosity released him. I am never to ask and I am never to be told and I am never to thank that gentleman with all my grateful heart. He would probably need no thanks, Clenum said. Very likely he would be thankful himself and with reason that he had had the means and chance of doing a little service to her, who well deserved a great one. And what I was going to say, sir, is, said Little Dorit, trembling more and more, that if I knew him and I might, I would tell him that he can never, never know how I feel his goodness and how my good father would feel it. And what I was going to say, sir, is that if I knew him and I might, but I don't know him and I must not, I know that, I would tell him that I shall never any more lie down to sleep without having prayed to heaven to bless him and reward him. And if I knew him and I might, I would go down on my knees to him and take his hand and kiss it and ask him not to draw it away, but to leave it, oh, to leave it for a moment and let my thankful tears fall on it, for I have no other thanks to give him. Little Dorit had put his hand to her lips and would have kneeled to him, but he gently prevented her and replaced her in her chair. Her eyes and the tones of her voice had thanked him far better than she thought. He was not able to say quite as composedly as usual, there, little Dorit, there, there, there. We will suppose that you did know this person and that you might do all this and that it was all done. And now tell me, who am quite another person, who am nothing more than the friend who begged you to trust him, why you are out at midnight and what it is that brings you so far through the streets at this late hour, my slight, delicate. Child was on his lips again. Little Dorit. Maggie and I have been tonight. She answered, subduing herself with the quiet effort that had long been natural to her. To the theatre where my sister is engaged. And, oh, I'm in an heavenly place. Suddenly interrupted Maggie, she seemed to have the power of going to sleep and waking up whenever she chose. Almost as good as a hospital, only there ain't no ticket in it. Here she shook herself and fell asleep again. We went there, said little Dorit, glancing at her charge, because I like sometimes to know of my own knowledge that my sister is doing well and like to see her there with my own eyes when neither she nor uncle is aware. It is very seldom indeed that I can do that, because when I am not out at work, I am with my father, and even when I am out at work, I hurry home to him. But I pretend tonight that I am at a party. As she made the confession timidly hesitating, she raised her eyes to the face and read its expression so plainly that she answered it. Oh no, certainly! I never was at a party in my life. She paused a little under his attentive look and then said, I hope there is no harm in it. I could never have been of any use if I had not pretended a little. She feared that he was blaming her in his mind for so devising to contrive for them, think for them, and watch over them, without their knowledge or gratitude. Perhaps even with their reproaches for supposed neglect. But what was really in his mind was the weak figure with its strong purpose, the worn shoes, the insufficient dress and the pretence of recreation and enjoyment. He asked where the suppositious party was, at a place where she worked and said little Dorit blushing. She had said very little about it, only a few words to make her father easy. Her father did not believe it to be a grand party, indeed he might suppose that. And she glanced for an instant at the shawl she wore. The first night, said little Dorit, that I have ever been away from home, and London looked so large, so barren, so wild. In little Dorit's eyes, its vastness under the black sky was awful, a tremor passed over her as she said the words. But this is not, she added with a quiet effort again, what I have come to trouble you with, sir. My sisters having found a friend, a lady she has told me off and made me rather anxious about, was the first cause of my coming away from home and being away and coming on purpose round by where you lived and seeing a light in the window. Not for the first time. No, not for the first time. In little Dorit's eyes, the outside of that window had been a distant star on other nights than this. She had toiled out of her way, tired and troubled, and wondered about the grave brown gentleman from so far off who had spoken to her as a friend and protector. There were three things, said little Dorit, that I thought I would like to say if you were alone and I might come upstairs. First, what I have tried to say, but never can, never shall. Hush, hush, that is done with and disposed of. Let us pass to the second, said Clenum, smiling her agitation away, making the blaze shine upon her and putting wine and cake and fruit towards her on the table. I think, said little Dorit, this is the second thing, sir. I think Mrs. Clenum must have found out my secret and must know where I come from and where I go to, where I live, I mean. Indeed, returned Clenum quickly, he asked her after short consideration why she's opposed so. I think, replied little Dorit, that Mr. Flintwinch must have watched me. And why, Clenum said, as he turned his eyes upon the fire, bent his brows and considered again, why did she suppose that? I have met him twice, both times near home, both times at night when I was going back, both times I thought, though that may easily be my mistake, that he hardly looked as if he had met me by accident. Did he say anything? No, he only nodded and put his head on one side. The devil take his head, mused Clenum still looking at the fire. It's always on one side. He asked himself to persuade her to put some wine to her lips and to touch something to eat. It was very difficult. She was so timid and shy. And then said musing again, is my mother at all changed to you? Oh, not at all. She is just the same. I wondered whether I had better tell her my history. I wondered whether I might. I mean, whether you would like me to tell her. I wondered, said little Dorit, looking at him in a suppliant way and gradually withdrawing her eyes as he looked at her. Whether you would advise me what I ought to do? Little Dorit, said Clenum, and the phrase had already begun between these two to stand for a hundred gentle phrases according to the varying tone and connection in which it was used. Do nothing. I will have some talk with my old friend, Mrs. Avery. Do nothing, little Dorit, except refresh yourself with such means as there are here. I entreat you to do that. Thank you, I am not hungry, nor, said little Dorit, as he softly put her glass towards her. No thirsty. I think Maggie might take something, perhaps. We will make her find pockets presently for all there is here, said Clenum. But before we awake her, there was a third thing to say. Yes, you will not be offended, sir? I promise that, unreservedly. It will sound strange. I hardly know how to say it. Don't think it unreasonable and grateful in me, said little Dorit with returning and increasing agitation. No, no, no. I am sure it will be natural and right. I am not afraid that I shall put a wrong construction on it, whatever it is. Thank you. You are coming back to see my father again? Yes. You have been so good and thoughtful as to write him a note, saying that you are coming tomorrow. Oh, that was nothing, yes. Said little Dorit folding her small hands tied in one another and looking at him with all the earnestness of her soul, looking steadily out of her eyes. What I am going to ask you not to do? I think I can. But I may be wrong. No, you are not wrong, said little Dorit, shaking her head. If we should want it so very, very badly that we cannot do without it, let me ask you for it. I will. Don't encourage him to ask. Don't understand him if he does ask. Don't give it to him. Save him and spare him that and you will be able to think better of him. Glenham said, not very plainly seeing those tears glistening in her anxious eyes, that her wish should be sacred with him. You don't know what he is, she said. You don't know what he really is. How can you seeing him there all at once, dear love, and not gradually, as I have done? You have been so good to us, so delicately and truly good, that I want him to be better in your eyes than in any bodies. And I cannot bear to think, cried little Dorit, covering her tears with her hands. I cannot bear to think that you of all the world should see him in his only moments of degradation. Pray, said Glenham, do not be distressed. Pray, pray, little Dorit, this is quite understood now. Thank you, sir. Thank you. I have tried very much to keep myself from saying this. I have thought about it days and nights, but when I knew for certain you were coming again I made up my mind to speak to you, not because I am ashamed of him. She tried her tears quickly, but because I know him better than anyone does and love him and am proud of him. Relieved of this weight, little Dorit was nervously anxious to be gone. Maggie being broad awake and in the act of distantly gloating over the fruit and cakes with chuckles of anticipation, Glenham made the best diversion in his power by pouring her out a glass of wine, which she drank in a series of loud smacks, putting her hand upon her windpipe after everyone and saying, her eyes in a prominent state. Oh, ain't it delicious? Ain't it hospitable? When she had finished the wine and these incomiums, he charged her to load her basket. She was never without her basket with every eatable thing upon the table and to take a special care to leave no scrap behind. Maggie's pleasure in doing this and her little mother's pleasure in seeing Maggie pleased was as good a turn as circumstances but the gates will have been locked long ago, said Glenham, suddenly remembering it. Where are you going? I'm going to Maggie's lodging and said little Dorit, I shall be quite safe, quite well taken care of. I must accompany you there, said Glenham, I cannot let you go alone. Yes, pray leave us to go there by ourselves, pray do, begged little Dorit. She was so earnest in the petition that Glenham felt a delicacy in obtruding himself upon her. The rather, because he could well understand that Maggie's lodging was of the obscurest sort. Come, Maggie, said little Dorit cheerily. We shall do very well, we know the way by this time, Maggie. Yes, yes, little mother, we know the way, shackled Maggie. And away they went. Little Dorit turned at the door to say, God bless you. She said it very softly, but perhaps she may have been as audible above, who knows, as a whole cathedral choir. Arthur Glenham suffered them to pass the corner of the street before he followed at a distance, not with any idea of encroaching a second time on little Dorit's privacy, but to satisfy his mind by seeing her secure in the neighborhood to which she was accustomed. So diminutive she looked, so fragile and defenseless in the league damp weather, flitting along in the shuffling shadow of her charge that he felt in his compassion and in his habit of considering her a child apart from the rest of the rough world as if he would have been glad to take her up in his arms and carry her to her journey's end. In cause of time she came into the leading thoroughfare where the Marshall Sea was and then he saw them slacken their pace and soon turned down by street. He stopped, felt that he had no right to go further and slowly left them. He had no suspicion that they ran any risk of being houseless until morning, had no idea of the truth until long, long afterwards. But, said little Dorit, when they stopped at a poor dwelling all in darkness and heard no sound on listening at the door, now this is a good lodging for you Maggie and we must not give offence. Consequently we will only knock twice and not very loud and if we cannot wake them so we must walk about till day. Once little Dorit knocked with a careful hand and listened. Twice little Dorit knocked with a careful hand and listened. Always close and still. Maggie we must do the best we can my dear. She listened and wait for day. It was a chill dark night with a damp wind blowing when they came out into the leading street again and heard the clock strike half past one. In only five hours and a half said little Dorit we shall be able to go home to speak of home and to go and look at it it being so near was a natural sequence. They went to the closed gate through into the courtyard. I hope he sound asleep said little Dorit kissing one of the bars and does not miss me. The gate was so familiar and so like a companion that they put down Maggie's basket in a corner to serve for a seat and keeping close together rested there for some time. While the street was empty and silent little Dorit was not afraid but when she heard a footstep from a distance or saw a moving shadow among the street lamps she was startled and whispered Maggie, I see someone come away. Maggie would then wake up more or less fretfully and they would wonder about a little and come back again. As long as eating was a novelty and an amusement Maggie kept up pretty well but that period going by it will soon be over dear said little Dorit patiently oh it's so very fine for you little mother returned Maggie but I'm a poor thing only ten years old. At last in the dead of the night when the street was very still indeed little Dorit laid the heavy head upon her bosom and soothed her to sleep and thus she sat at the gate as it were alone looking up at the stars pass over them in their wild flight which was the dance at little Dorit's party if it really was a party she thought once as she sat there if it was light and warm and beautiful and it was our house and my poor dear was its master and had never been inside these walls and if Mr. Klenom was one of our visitors and we were dancing to delightful music and were all as gay and light-hearted as ever could be I wonder such a vista of wonder opened out before her that she sat looking up at the stars quite lost until Maggie was querulous again and wanted to get up and walk three o'clock at half past three and they had passed over London Bridge they had heard the rush of the tide against obstacles and looked down, awed through the dark vapor on the river had seen little spots of lighted water where the bridge lamps were reflected shining like demon eyes with a terrible fascination in them for guilt and misery they had shrunk past homeless people lying coiled up in nukes they had run from drunkards they had started from slinking men whistling and signing to one another at bike corners or running away at full speed though everywhere the leader and the guide, little Dorit happy for once in her youthful appearance faint to cling to and rely upon Maggie and more than once some voice from among a knot of brawling or prowling figures in their path had called out to the rest to let the woman and the child go by so the woman and the child had gone by and gone on and five had sounded from the steeples they were walking slowly toward the east already looking for the first pale streak of day when a woman came after them what are you doing with the child she said to Maggie she was young far too young to be there heaven knows and neither ugly nor wicked looking she spoke coarsely but with no naturally coars voice there was even something musical in its sound what are you doing with yourself retorted Maggie or want of a better answer can't you see without my telling you I don't know as I can said Maggie killing myself now I have answered you, answer me what are you doing with the child the supposed child kept her head drooped down and kept her form close at Maggie's side poor thing said the woman have you no feeling that you keep her out in the cruel streets at such a time as this with your eyes that you don't see how delicate and slender she is have you no sense you don't look as if you had much that you don't take more pity on this cold and trembling little hand she could stepped across to that side and held the hand between her own two chafing it kiss a poor lost creature dear she said bending her face and tell me where she's taking you little Dorit turned towards her why my god she said recoiling you are a woman don't mind that said little Dorit clasping one of her hands that had suddenly released hers I am not afraid of you then you had better be she answered have you no mother no no father yes a very dear one go home to him and be afraid of me let me go good night I must thank you first let me speak to you as if I really were a child you can do it said the woman you are kind and innocent but you can't look at me out of a child's eyes I never should have touched you but I thought you were a child and with a strange wild cry she went away no day yet in the sky but there was day in the resounding stones of the streets in the wagons, carts and coaches in the workers going to various occupations in the opening of early shops in the trafficked markets in the stir of the riverside there was coming day in the flaring lights with a feeble color in them than they would have had at another time coming day in the increased sharpness of the air and the ghastly dying of the night they went back again to the gate intending to wait there now until it should be opened there was so raw and cold that little Dorit leading Maggie about in her sleep kept in motion going round by the church she saw lights there and the door open and went up the steps and looked in who's that? cried a stout old man who was putting on a nightcap as if you were going to bed in a vault it's no one particular sir said little Dorit stop! cried the man who? this caused her to turn back again in the act of going out and to present herself and her charge before him I thought so said he I know you we have often seen each other said little Dorit recognizing the sexton or the beetle or the verger or whatever he was when I have been a church here more than that one of our curiosities indeed said little Dorit to be sure as the child of the by the by how did you get out so early we were shut out last night and we were waiting to get in you don't mean it and there's another hour good yet come into the vestry you'll find a fire in the vestry on account of the painters I'm waiting for the painters you may depend upon it one of our curiosities mustn't be cold when we have it in our power to warm her up comfortable come along he was a very good old fellow in his familiar way and having stirred the vestry fire he looked around the shelves of registers for a particular volume here you are you see he said taking it down and turning the leaves here you'll find yourself as large as your life Amy, daughter of William and Fanny Dorit born Marshall C prison parish of St George and we tell people that you've lived there without so much as a day's or a night's absence ever since is it true quite true till last night Lord but he's surveying her with an admiring gaze suggested something else to him do it I am sorry to see you faint and tired stay a bit I'll get some cushions out of the church and you and your friend shall lie down before the fire don't be afraid of not going in to join your father when the gate opens I'll call you he soon brought in the cushions and strewed them on the ground there you are you see again as large as life oh never mind thanking I've daughters of my own I was born in the Marshall C prison they might have been if I had been in my ways of carrying on of your father's breed stop a bit I must put something under the cushion for your head here's a burial volume just the thing we have got Mrs. Bangum in this book but what makes these books interesting to most people is not who's in M but who isn't who's coming you know and when that's the interesting question compendingly looking back at the pillow he had improvised he left them to their hours repose Maggie was snoring already and little Dorit was soon fast asleep with her head resting on that sealed book of fate untroubled by its mysterious blank leaves this was little Dorit's party the shame desertion wretchedness and exposure of the great capital the wet the cold and the swift clouds of the dismal night this was the party from which little Dorit went home jaded in the first gray mist of a rainy morning end of chapter the 14th book the first this recording is in the public domain chapter the 15th book the first of little Dorit read for LibriVox.org by Ellis Christoff little Dorit by Charles Dickens book the first chapter the 15th Mrs. Flintwinch has another dream the debilitated old house in the city wrapped in its mantle of soot and leaning heavily on the crutches that had partaken of its decay and worn out with it never knew a healthy or a cheerful interval let what would be tied if the sun ever touched it it was but with a ray and that was gone in half an hour if the moonlight ever fell upon it it was only to put a few patches on its doleful cloak and make it look more etched the stars, to be sure coldly watched it when the nights and the smoke were clear enough and all bad weather stood by it with a rare fidelity you should alike find rain hail, frost and thaw lingering in that dismal enclosure when they had vanished from other places and as the snow you should see it there for weeks long after it had changed from yellow to black slowly weeping away its grimy life the place had no other adherents as the street noises the rumbling of wheels in the lane merely rushed in at the gateway in going past and rushed out again making the listening mistress feel as if she were deaf and recovering the sense of hearing by instantaneous flashes so with whistling, singing talking, laughing and all pleasant human sounds they leaped the gap in a moment and went upon their way the varying light of fire and candle in Mrs. Clenham's room made the greatest change that ever broke the dead monotony of the spot in her two long narrow windows the fire shone sullenly all day and sullenly all night on rare occasions it flashed up passionately as she did but for the most part it was suppressed like her and prayed upon itself evenly and slowly during many hours of the short winter days however when it was dusk there early in the afternoon changing distortions of herself in her wheeled chair of Mr. Flintwinch with his rye-neck of Mistress Avery coming and going would be thrown upon the house wall that was over the gateway and would hover there like shadows from a great magic lantern as the room ridden invalid settled for the night these would gradually disappear Mistress Avery's magnified shadow always flitting about last until it finally glided away into the air as though she were off upon a witch excursion then the solitary light would burn unchangingly until it burned pale before the dawn and at last died under the breath of Mrs. Avery as her shadow descended on it from the witch region of sleep strange if the little sick room fire were in effect a beacon fire summoning someone and that the most unlikely someone in the world to the spot that must be come to strange if the little sick room light were in effect a watch light burning in that place every night until an appointed event should be watched out which of the vast multitude of travellers under the sun and the stars climbing the dusty hills and toiling along the weary plains journeying by land and journeying by sea coming and going so strangely to meet and to act and react on one another which of the host may with no suspicion of the journey's end be travelling surely hither time shall show us the post of honour and the post of shame the general station and the drummers appear statute in Westminster Abbey and Siemens hammock in the bosom of the deep the mitre and the workhouse the wool sack and the gallows the throne and the guillotine the travellers to all are on the great high road but it has wonderful divergencies and only time shall show us whether each traveller is bound on a wintry afternoon at twilight Mrs. Flintwinch having been heavy all day dreamed this dream she thought she was in the kitchen getting the kettle ready for tea and was warming herself with her feet upon the fender and the skirt of her gown tucked up before the collapsed fire in the middle of the great bordered on either hand by deep cold black ravine she thought that as she sat thus using upon the question whether life was not for some people a rather dull invention she was frightened by a sudden noise behind her she thought that she had been similarly frightened once last week and that that noise was of a mysterious kind a sound of rustling and of three or four quick beats like a rapid step while a shock or tremble was communicated to her heart as if the step had shaken the floor or even as if she had been touched by some awful hand she thought that this revived within her certain old fears of hers that the house was haunted and that she flew up the kitchen stairs without knowing how she got up to be near a company Mistress Avery thought that on reaching the hall she saw the door of her leech lord's office standing open and the room empty that she went to the ripped up window in the little room by the street door petating heart through the glass with living things beyond and outside the haunted house that she then saw on the wall over the gateway the shadows of the two clever ones in conversation above that she then went upstairs with her shoes in her hand partly to be near the clever ones as a match for most ghosts and partly to hear what they were talking about None of your nonsense with me said Mr. Flintwinch I won't take it from you Mrs. Flintwinch dreamed that she stood behind the door which was just a jar and most distinctly heard her husband say these bold words Flintwinch returned Mrs. Clannum in her usual strong low voice there is a demon of anger in you guard against it I don't care whether there's one or a dozen said Mr. Flintwinch in his tone that the higher number was nearer the mark if there was fifty they should all say None of your nonsense with me I won't take it from you I'd make them say whether they liked it or not what have I done you rothful man her strong voice asked Don said Mr. Flintwinch dropped down upon me if you mean remonstrate it with you don't put words into my mouth that I don't mean said Jeremiah sticking to his figurative expression with tenacious and impenetrable obstinacy I mean drop down upon me I remonstrate it with you she began again because I won't have it cried Jeremiah you drop down upon me I dropped down upon you then you ill conditioned man Jeremiah chuckled at having forced her to adopt his phrase for having been needlessly significant to Arthur that morning I have a right to complain of it as almost a breach of confidence you did not mean it I won't have it interposed the contradictory Jeremiah flinging back the concession I did mean it I suppose I must leave you to speak in soliloquy if you choose she replied after a pause that seemed an angry one it is useless my addressing myself and headstrong old man who has a set purpose not to hear me now I won't take that from you either said Jeremiah I have no such purpose I have told you I did mean it do you wish to know why I meant it you rash and headstrong old woman after all you only restore me my own words she said struggling with her indignation yes this is why then because you hadn't cleared his father to him and you ought to have done it because before you went into any tantrum by yourself who are hold there flint winch she cried out in a changed voice you may go a word too far the old man seemed to think so there was another pause and he had altered his position in the room when he spoke again more mildly I was going to tell you why it was because before you took your own part I thought you ought to have taken the part of Arthur's father Arthur's father I had no particular love for Arthur's father I served Arthur's father's uncle in this house when Arthur's father was not much above me was poorer as far as his pocket went and when his uncle might as soon have left me his heir as have left him he starved in the parlor and I starved in the kitchen that was the principal difference in our positions there was not much more than a flight of breakneck stairs between us I never took to him in those times I don't know that I ever took to him greatly at any time he was an undecided irresolute chap who had everything but his orphaned life scared out of him when he was young and when he brought you home here the wife his uncle had named for him I didn't need to look at you twice you were a good looking woman at that time to know you would be master you have stood of your own strength ever since stand of your own strength now don't lean against the dead I do not as you call it lean against the dead but you had a mind to do it if I had submitted growl Jeremiah and that's why you drop down on me you can't forget that I did not submit I suppose you are astonished that I should it worth my while to have justice done to Arthur's father A. it doesn't matter whether you answer or not because I know you are and you know you are come then I'll tell you how it is I may be a bit of an auditing point of temper but this is my temper I can't let anybody have entirely their own way you are a determined woman and a clever woman and when you see your purpose before you nothing will turn you from it better than I do nothing will turn me from it when I have justified it to myself add that justified it to yourself I said you were the most determined woman on the face of the earth or I meant to say so and if you are determined to justify any object you entertain of course you'll do it man I justify myself by the authority of these books she cried with stern emphasis and appearing from the sound that followed to strike the dead weight of Haram upon the table never mind that return Jeremiah calmly we won't enter into that question at present however that may be you carry out your purposes and you make everything go down before them now I won't go down before them I have been faithful to you and useful to you and I am attached to you but I can't consent and I won't consent and I never did consent and I never will consent to be lost in you swallow up everybody else and welcome the peculiarity of my temper's mom that I won't be swallowed up alive perhaps this had originally been the main spring of the understanding between them describing thus much a force of character in Mr. Flintwinch perhaps Mrs. Clenum had deemed alliance with him worth her while and more than enough of the subject said she gloomily unless you drop down upon me again return the persistent Flintwinch and then you must expect to hear of it again Mistress Athery dreamed that the figure of her lord here began walking up and down the room as if to cool his spleen and that she ran away but that as he did not issue forth when she had stood listening and trembling in the shadowy hall a little time she crept upstairs again impaled as before by ghosts and curiosity and once more covered outside the door pleased to light the candle Flintwinch Mrs. Clenum was saying apparently wishing to draw him back into their usual tone it is nearly time for tea little Dorit is coming and will find me in the dark Mr. Flintwinch lighted the candle briskly and said as he put it down upon the table what are you going to do with little Dorit is she to come to work here forever to come to tea here forever to come backwards and forwards here in the same way forever how can you talk about forever to a maimed creature like me are we not all cut down like the grass of the field and was not I shorn by the sight many years ago since when I have been lying here waiting to be gathered into the barn aye aye but since you have been lying here not near dead nothing like it numbers of children and young people blooming women strong men and what not have been cut down and carried and still here you are you see not much changed after all your time and mine may be a long one yet when I say forever I mean though I am not poetical through all our time Mr. Flintwinch gave this explanation with great calmness and calmly waited for an answer so long as little Dorit is quiet and industrious and stands in need of the slight help I can give her and deserves it so long I suppose unless she withdraws of her own act she will continue to come here I being spared nothing more than that said Flintwinch stroking his mouth and chin what should there be more than that what could there be more than that she ejaculated in her sternly wandering way Mrs. Flintwinch dreamt that for the space of a minute or two they remained looking at each other with the candle between them and that she somehow derived an impression that they looked at each other fixedly do you happen to know Mrs. Clannum Afery's liege lord then demanded in a much lower voice and with an amount of expression seemed quite out of proportion to the simple purpose of his words where she lives no would you now would you like to know said Jeremiah with a pounce as if he had sprung upon her if I cared to know I should know already could I not have asked her any day then you don't care to know I do not Mr. Flintwinch long significant breath said with his former emphasis or I have accidentally mined found out wherever she lives said Mrs. Clannum speaking in one unmodulated hard voice and separating her words as distinctly as if she were reading them off from separate bits of metal that she took up one by one she has made a secret of it and she shall always keep it from me after all perhaps you would rather not have known the fact anyhow said Jeremiah and he said it with a twist as if his words had come out of him in his own wry shape Flintwinch said his mistress and partner flashing into a sudden energy that made Afery start why do you goad me look around this room if it is any compensation it's not that I complain of being afflicted you know I never complain of that if it is any compensation to me for long confinement to this room that while I am shut up from all pleasant change I am also shut up from the knowledge of some things that I may prefer to avoid knowing why should you of all men grudge me that believe I don't grudge it to you returned Jeremiah then say no more let little Dorit keep her secret from me and do you keep it from me also let her come and go unobserved and unquestioned let me suffer and let me have what alleviation belongs to my condition is it so much that you torment me like an evil spirit I asked your question that's all I have answered it so say no more say no more hear the sound of the wheeled chair was heard upon the floor and Afery's bell rang with a hasty jerk more afraid of her husband at the moment than of the mysterious sound in the kitchen Afery crept away as lightly and as quickly as she could descended the kitchen stairs almost as rapidly as she had descended them resumed her seat before the fire tucked up her skirt again and finally threw her apron over her head then the bell rang once more and then once more and then kept on ringing in despite of which important summons Afery still sat behind her apron recovering her breath at last Mr. Flintwinch came shuffling down the staircase into the hall muttering and calling a free woman all the way Afery still remaining behind her apron became stumbling down the kitchen stairs candle in hand sidled up to her twitched her apron off and aroused her oh Jeremiah cried Afery waking what a start you gave me what have you been doing woman inquired Jeremiah you've been rung for 50 times oh Jeremiah said Mistress Afery I have been dreaming reminded of her former achievement in that way Mr. Flintwinch held the candle to her head as if he had some idea of lighting her up for the illumination of the kitchen don't you know it's her tea time he demanded with a vicious grin and giving one of the legs of Mistress Afery's chair a kick Jeremiah tea time I don't know what's come to me but I got such a dreadful turn Jeremiah before I went off a dreaming that I I think it must be that yeah sleepy head said Mr. Flintwinch what are you talking about such a strange noise Jeremiah such a curious movement the kitchen here just here Jeremiah held up his light and looked at the blackened ceiling held down his light and looked at the damn stone floor turned around with his light and looked about at the spotted and blotched walls rats cats water drains said Jeremiah Mistress Afery negative each with a shake of her head no Jeremiah I have felt it before I have felt it upstairs and once in the staircase as I was going from her room to ours in the night a rustle and a sort of trembling touch behind me Afery my woman said Mr. Flintwinch grimly after advancing his nose to that lady's lips as a test for the detection of spirituous liquors if you don't get tea pretty quick old woman you'll become sensible of a rustle and a touch that'll send you flying to the other end of the kitchen this prediction stimulated Mrs. Flintwinch to bestow herself and to hasten upstairs to Mrs. Clenum's chamber but for all that she now began to entertain a settled conviction that there was something wrong in the gloomy house henceforth she was never at peace in it after daylight departed and never went up or downstairs in the dark without having her apron over her head lest she should see something what with these ghostly apprehensions and her singular dreams Mrs. Flintwinch fell that evening into a haunted state of mind from which it may be long before this present narrative describes any trace of her recovery in the vagueness of indistinctness of all her new experiences and perceptions as everything about her was mysterious to herself she began to be mysterious to others and became as difficult to be made out to anybody's satisfaction as she found the house and everything in it difficult to make out to her own she had not yet finished preparing Mrs. Clenum's tea when the soft knock came to the door which always announced Little Dorit Mistress Athery looked on at Little Dorit taking off her homely bonnet in the hall and at Mr. Flintwinch scraping his jaws and contemplating her in silence as expecting some wonderful consequence to ensue which would frighten her out of her five wits and blow them all three to pieces after tea there came another knock at the door announcing Arthur Mistress Athery went down to let him in and he sat on entering Athery, I am glad it's you I want to ask you a question Athery immediately replied for goodness sake don't ask me nothing Arthur I am frightened out of one half of my life and dreamed out of the other don't ask me nothing I don't know which is which or what is what and immediately started away from him and came near him no more Mistress Athery having no taste for reading and no sufficient light for needle work in the subdued room supposing her to have the inclination now sat every night in the dimness from which she had momentarily emerged on the evening of Arthur Clenum's return occupied with crowds of wild speculations and suspicions of Mistress and her husband and the noises in the house when the ferocious devotional exercises were engaged in these speculations would distract Mistress Athery's eyes towards the door as if she expected some dark form to appear at those propitious moments and make the party one too many otherwise Athery never said or did anything to attract the attention of the two clever ones towards her in any market degree on certain occasions generally at about the quiet hour towards bedtime when she would suddenly dart out of her dim corner and whisper with a face of terror to Mr. Flintwinch reading the paper near Mrs. Clenum's little table there Jeremiah now what's that noise then the noise if there were any would have seized and Mr. Flintwinch would snarl turning upon her as if she had cut him down that moment against his will Athery old woman you shall have a dose old woman such a dose you have been dreaming again end of chapter the fifteenth book the first this recording is in the public domain chapter the sixteenth book the first of Little Dorit read for LibriVox.org by Ellis Christoff Little Dorit by Charles Dickens book the first chapter the sixteenth nobody's weakness the time being come for the renewal of his acquaintance with the Miegel's family Clenum, pursuant to contract made between himself and Mr. Miegel's within the precincts of bleeding heart yard turned his face on a certain Saturday towards Twickenham where Mr. Miegel's had a cottage residence of his own the weather being fine and dry and any English road abounding in interest for him who had been so long away he sent his valise on by the coach and set out to walk a walk was in itself a new enjoyment to him and one that had rarely diversified his life afar off he went by Fulham and Putney for the pleasure of strolling over the heath it was bright and shining there and when he found himself so far on his road to Twickenham he found himself a long way on his road to a number of area and less substantial destinations they had risen before him fast in the healthful exercise and the pleasant road it is not easy to walk alone in the country without musing upon something and he had plenty of unsettled subjects to meditate upon though he had been walking to the land's end first there was the subject seldom absent from his mind the question what he was to do henceforth in life to what occupation he should devote himself and in what direction he had best seek it he was far from rich and every day of indecision and in action made his inheritance a source of greater anxiety to him as often as he began to consider how to increase this inheritance or too late by so often his misgiving that there was someone with an unsatisfied claim upon his justice returned and that alone was a subject to outlast the longest walk again, there was the subject of his relations with his mother which were now upon an equable and peaceful but never confidential footing in whom he saw several times a week little Dorit was a leading and a constant subject or the circumstances of his life united to those of her own story presented the little creature to him as the only person between whom and himself there were ties of innocent reliance on one hand and affectionate protection on the other ties of compassion respect unselfish interest gratitude and pity thinking of her and of the possibility of her father's release from prison by the unbearing hand of death the only change of circumstance he could foresee that might enable him to be such a friend to her as he wished to be by altering her whole manner of life smoothing her rough road and giving her a home he regarded her in that perspective as his adopted daughter his poor child of the Marshall sea hushed to rest if there were a last subject in his thoughts and it lay towards Twickenham its form was so indefinite that it was little more than the pervading atmosphere in which these other subjects floated before him he had crossed the heath and was leaving it behind when he gained upon a figure which had been in advance of him for some time and which as he gained upon it he thought he knew he derived this impression from something in the turn of the head and in the figure's action of consideration as it went on at a sufficiently sturdy walk but when the man for it was a man's figure pushed his head up at the back of his head and stopped to consider some object before him he knew it to be Daniel Dois how do you do, Mr. Dois said Clenham overtaking him I am glad to see you again and in a healthier place than the Circumlecution office ha! Mr. Meagle's friend exclaimed that public criminal coming out of some mental combinations he had been making and offering his hand I am glad to see you, sir do you excuse me if I forget your name? readily it's not a celebrated name it's not Barnacle no, no, said Daniel laughing and now I know what it is it's Clenham how do you do, Mr. Clenham I have some hope said Arthur as they walked on together that we may be going to the same place, Mr. Dois meaning Twickenham returned Daniel I am glad to hear it he was soon quite intimate and lightened the way with a variety of conversation the ingenious culprit was a man of great modesty and good sense and though a plain man had been too much accustomed to combine what was original and daring in conception with what was patient and minute in execution to be by any means an ordinary man it was at first difficult to lead him to speak about himself and he put off Arthur's advances in that direction by admitting slightly oh yes, he had done this and he had done that and such a thing was of his making and such another thing was his discovery but it was his trade, you see his trade until as he gradually became assured that his companion had a real interest in his account of himself he frankly yielded to it then it appeared that he was the son of a North Country blacksmith and had originally been apprenticed by his widowed mother to a lockmaker that he had struck out a few little things at the lockmakers which had led to his being released from his indentures with a present which present had enabled him to gratify his ardent wish to buy himself to a working engineer under whom he had labored hard learned hard and lived hard seven years his time being out he had worked in the shop at weekly wages seven or eight years more and had then be taken himself to the banks of the Clyde where he had studied and filed and hammered and improved his knowledge theoretical and practical for six or seven years more there he had had an offer to go to Lyon which he had accepted and from Lyon had been engaged to go to Germany and in Germany had had an offer to go to St. Petersburg and there had done very well indeed never better he had naturally felt a preference for his own country and a wish to gain distinction there and to do whatever service he could do there rather than elsewhere and so he had come home and so at home he had established himself in business and had invented and executed and worked his way on until after a dozen years of constant suit and service he had been enrolled in the great British Legion of Honor the Legion of the rebuffed of the Circumlocution Office and had been decorated with the great British Order of Merit the Order of the Disorder of the Barnacles and stilled stockings it is much to be regretted said Clenum that you ever turned your thoughts that way Mr. Dois true sir true to a certain extent but what is a man to do if he has the misfortune to strike out something serviceable to the nation he must follow where it leads him hadn't he better let it go said Clenum he can't do it said Dois shaking his head with a thoughtful smile it's not put into his head to be buried it's put into his head to be made useful you hold your life on the condition that to the last you shall struggle hard for it every man holds a discovery on the same terms that is to say said Arthur with a growing admiration disquiet companion you are not finally discouraged even now I have no right to be if I am return the other the thing is as true as it ever was when they had walked a little way in silence Clenum at once to change the direct point of their conversation and not to change it too abruptly asked Mr. Dois if he had any partner in his business to relieve him of a portion of its anxieties no he returned not at present I had when I first entered on it and a good man he was but he has been dead some years and as I could not easily take to the notion of another when I lost him I bought his share for myself and have gone on by myself ever since and here's another thing he said stopping for a moment with a good humored laugh in his eyes and laying his closed right hand with this peculiar suppleness of thumb on Clenum's arm no inventor can be a man of business you know no? said Clenum why? so the men of business say he answered resuming the walk and laughing outright I don't know why we unfortunate creatures should be supposed to want common sense but it is generally taken for granted that we do even the best friend I have in the world our excellent friend over yonder said Dois nodding towards Twickenham the sword of protection to me don't you know as a man not quite able to take care of himself Arthur Clenum could not help joining in the good humored laugh for he recognized the truth of the description so I find that I must have a partner who is a man of business and not guilty of any inventions said Daniel Dois taking off his cat to pass his hand over his forehead if it's only in deference to the current opinion and to uphold the credit of the works I don't think you'll find that I have been very remiss or confused in my way of conducting them but that's for him to say whoever he is not for me you have not chosen him yet then no sir, no I have only just come to a decision to take one the fact is there's more to do than there used to be and the works are enough for me as I grow older what with the books and correspondence and foreign journeys for which a principle is necessary I can't do all I'm going to talk over the best way of negotiating the matter if I find a spare half hour between this and Monday morning with my nurse and protector said Dois with laughing eyes again he is a sagacious man in business and has had a good apprenticeship to it after this they conversed on different subjects until they arrived at their journey's end a composed and unobtrusive self-sustainment was noticeable in Daniel Dois a calm knowledge that what was true must remain true in spite of all the barnacles in the family ocean and would be just the truth and neither more nor less when even that sea had run dry which had a kind of greatness in it though not of the official quality as he knew the house well he conducted Arthur to it by the way that showed it to the best advantage it was a charming place none the worse for being a little eccentric on the road by the river and just what the residents of the Meagles family ought to be it stood in a garden no doubt as fresh and beautiful in the May of the Ear as Pet now was in the May of her life and it was defended by a goodly show of handsome trees and spreading evergreens as Pet was by Mr. and Mrs. Meagles it was made out of an old brick house of which a part had been altogether pulled down and another part had been changed into the present cottage so there was a hail elderly portion to represent Mr. and Mrs. Meagles and a young picturesque very pretty portion to represent Pet there was even the later addition of a conservatory sheltering itself against it uncertain a few in its deep stained glass and in its more transparent portions flashing to the sun's rays now like fire and now like harmless water drops which might have stood for Taticorum within view was the peaceful river and the ferry boat to moralize to all the inmates saying young or old passionate or tranquil chafing or content you thus runs the current always let the heart swell into what discord it will thus place the rippling water on the plough of the ferry boat ever the same tune ear after ear so much allowance for the drifting of the boat so many miles an hour the flowing of the stream hear the rushes there the lilies nothing uncertain or unquiet upon this road that steadily runs away while you upon your flowing road of time are so capricious and distracted the bell at the gate had scarcely sounded when Mr. Meagles came out to receive them Mr. Meagles had scarcely come out when Mrs. Meagles came out Mrs. Meagles had scarcely come out when Pet came out Pet scarcely had come out when Taticorum came out never had visitors a more hospitable reception here we are you see said Mr. Meagles boxed up Mr. Clenham within our own home limits as we were never going to expand that is travel again not like Marseille nor Longing and Marchonging here a different kind of beauty indeed said Clenham looking about him but Lord bless me cried Mr. Meagles rubbing his scans with a relish it was an uncommonly pleasant thing being in quarantine wasn't it do you know I have often wished myself back again we were a capital party this was Mr. Meagles's invariable habit to object to everything while he was traveling and always to want to get back to it when he was not traveling if it was summertime said Mr. Meagles which I wish it was on your account and in order that you might see the place at its best you would hardly be able to hear yourself speak for birds being practical people we never allow anybody to scare the birds and the birds being practical people too come about us in myriads we are delighted to see you Clenham if you will allow me I shall drop the mister I hardly assure you we are delighted I have not had so pleasant a greeting said Clenham then he recalled what little Dorit had said to him in his own room and faithfully added except once since we last walked to and fro looking down at the Mediterranean returned Mr. Meagles something like a lookout that was wasn't it I don't want a military government but I shouldn't mind a little alonging and machonging just a dash of it in this neighborhood sometimes it's devilish still bestowing this eulogium on the retired character of his retreat with a dubious shake of the head Mr. Meagles led the way into the house it was just large enough and no more was as pretty within as it was without perfectly well arranged and comfortable some traces of the migratory habits of the family were to be observed in the covered frames and furniture and wrapped up hangings but it was easy to see that it was one of Mr. Meagles' whims to have the cottage always kept in their absence as if they were always coming back the day after tomorrow of articles collected on his various expeditions there was such a vast miscellany that it was like the dwelling of an amiable corsair there were antiquities from central Italy made by the best modern houses in that department of industry bits of mummy from Egypt and perhaps Birmingham model gondolas from Venice model villages from Switzerland morsels of tessellated pavement from Herculaneum and Pompeii like petrified minced veal ashes out of tombs and lava out of Vesuvius Spanish fans from straw hats Moorish slippers Tuscan hairpins Carrara sculpture Traste Verini scarves Genoese velvets and filigree Neapolitan coral Roman cameos Geneva jewelry Arab lanterns Rosaries blessed all round by the Pope himself and an infinite variety of lumber there were views like and unlike of a multitude of places one little picture room devoted to a few of the regular sticky old sayings with sinews like whip cord hair like Neptune's wrinkles like the towing and such coats of varnish that every holy personage served for a fly trap and became what is now called in the vulgar tongue a catch-em-alive Oh! of these pictorial acquisitions Mr. Miegel spoke in the usual manner he was no judge he said except of what pleased himself that picked them up, dirt cheap and people had considered them rather fine one man who at any rate ought to know something of the subject had declared that sage reading especially oily old gentleman in a blanket with the swans down dip it for a beard and a web of cracks all over him like rich pie crust to be a fine guercino as for Sebastian del Piumbo there you would judge for yourself not his later manner the question was who was it Titian that might or might not be perhaps he had only touched it Daniel Dois said perhaps he hadn't touched it but Mr. Miegel's rather declined to overhear the remark when he had shown all his spoils Mr. Miegel's took them into his own snag room overlooking the lawn which was fitted up in part like a dressing room and in part like an office and in which upon a kind of counter desk were a pair of brass scales for weighing gold and a scoop for shoveling out money here they are you see said Mr. Miegel's I stood behind these two articles five and thirty years running when I no more thought of guiding about than I now think of staying at home when I left the bank for good I asked for them and brought them away with me I mention it at once or you might suppose that I sit in my sitting house as Pet says I do like the king in the poem of the four and twenty blackbirds counting out my money Clenham's eyes had straight to a natural picture on the wall of two pretty little girls with their arms entwined Yes, Clenham said Mr. Miegel's in a lower voice there they both are it was taken some seventeen years ago as I often say to mother they were babies then their names said Arthur ah to be sure you have never heard any name but Pet Pet's name is Minnie her sister's is Lily should you have known Mr. Clenham that one of them was meant for me asked Pet herself now standing in the doorway I might have thought that both of them were meant for you both are still so like you indeed said Clenham glancing from the fair original to the picture and back I cannot even now say which is not your portrait do you hear that mother cried Mr. Miegel's to his wife who had followed her daughter it's all the same Clenham nobody can decide the child to your left is Pet the picture happened to be near a looking glass as Arthur looked at it again he saw by the reflection of the mirror Tati Corum stop in passing outside the door listen to what was going on and pass away with an angry and contemptuous face that changed its beauty into ugliness but come said Mr. Miegel's you have had a long walk and will be glad to get your boots off as to Daniel here I suppose he'd never think of taking his boots off unless we showed him a boot Jack why not asked Daniel with a significant smile at Clenham oh you have so many things to think about returned Mr. Miegel's clapping him on the shoulder as if his weakness must not be left to itself on any account figures and wheels and cogs and levers and screws and cylinders and a thousand things in my calling said Daniel amused the greater usually includes the less but never mind, never mind whatever pleases you pleases me Clenham could not help speculating as he seated himself in his room by the fire might be in the breast of this honest affectionate and cordial Mr. Miegel's any microscopic portion of the mustard seed that had sprung up into the great tree of the circumlocution office this curious sense of a general superiority to Daniel Dois which seemed to be founded not so much on anything in Dois's personal character as on the mere fact of his being an originator and a man out of the beaten track of other men suggested the idea it might have occupied him until he went down to dinner an hour afterwards if he had not had another question to consider which had been in his mind so long ago as before he was in quarantine at Marseille and which had now returned to it and was very urgent with it no less a question than this whether he should allow himself to fall in love with pet he was twice courage he changed the leg he had crossed over the other and tried the calculation again but could not bring out the total at less it was twice her age well he was young in appearance young in health and strength young in heart a man was certainly not old at 40 and many men were not in circumstances to marry or did not marry until they had attained that time of life on the other hand the question was not what he thought of the point what she thought of it he believed that Mr. Meagles was disposed to entertain a ripe regard for him and he knew that he had a sincere regard for Mr. Meagles and his good wife he could foresee that to relinquish this beautiful only child of whom they were so fond to any husband would be a trial of their love which perhaps they never yet had had the fortitude to contemplate but the more beautiful and winning and charming she they must always be to the necessity of approaching it and why not in his favor as well as in others when he had got so far it came again into his head that the question was not what they thought of it but what she thought of it Arthur Clenham was a retiring man with a sense of many deficiencies and he so exalted the merits of the beautiful Mini in his mind and depressed his own and to this point his hopes began to fail him he came to the final resolution as he made himself ready for dinner that he would not allow himself to fall in love with Pet there were only five at around table and it was very pleasant indeed they had so many places and people to recall and they were all so easy and cheerful together Daniel Dois either sitting out like an amused spectator at cards with some shrewd little experiences of his own when it happened to be to the purpose that they might have been together 20 times and not have known so much of one another and Miss Wade said Mr. Meagles after they had recalled a number of fellow travelers has anybody seen Miss Wade I have said Tati Corum she had brought a little mantle which her young mistress had sent for her putting it on when she lifted up her dark eyes and made this unexpected answer Tati her young mistress exclaimed you see Miss Wade where? here Miss said Tati Corum how? an impatient glance from Tati Corum seemed as Cleannham saw it to answer with my eyes but her only answer in words was I met her near the church what are you doing there I wonder said Mr. Meagles not a going to it I should think she had written to me first said Tati Corum oh Tati murmured her mistress take your hands away I feel as if someone else was touching me she said it in a quick involuntary way but half playfully and not more petulently or disagreeably than a favorite child might have done who laughed next moment Tati Corum said her full red lips together and crossed her arms upon her bosom did you wish to know sir she said looking at Mr. Meagles what Miss Wade wrote to me about well Tati Corum returned Mr. Meagles since you ask the question and we are all friends here perhaps you may as well mention it if you are so inclined she knew when we were traveling where you lived said Tati Corum and she had seen me not quite not quite not quite in good temper Tati Corum suggested Mr. Meagles shaking his head at the dark eyes with a quiet caution take a little time count 5 and 20 Tati Corum she pressed her lips together again and took a long deep breath so she wrote to me to say that if I ever felt myself hurt she looked down at her young mistress or found myself worried she looked down at her again I might go to her and be considerably treated I was to think of it and could speak to her by the church so I went there to thank her Tati said her young mistress putting her hand up over her shoulder that the other might take it Miss Wade almost frightened me when we parted and I scarcely like to think of her just now as having been so near me without my knowing it Tati dear Tati stood for a moment, immovable hey cried Mr. Meagles count another 5 and 20 Tati Corum she might have counted a dozen when she bent and put her lips to the caressing hand it patted her cheek as it touched the owner's beautiful curls and Tati Corum went away now there said Mr. Meagles softly as he gave a turn to the dumb waiter on his right hand to twirl the sugar towards himself there's a girl who might be lost and ruined if she wasn't among practical people mother and I know solely from being practical that there are times when this girl's whole nature seems to roughen herself against seeing her so bound up in pet no father and mother were bound up in her poor soul I don't like to think of the way in which that unfortunate child with all that passion and protest in her feels when she hears the fifth commandment on a Sunday I am always inclined to call out church count 5 and 20 Tati Corum besides his dumb waiter Mr. Meagles had two other not dumb waiters in the persons of two parlour mates with rosy faces and bright eyes who were a highly ornamental part of the table decoration and why not you see said Mr. Meagles on this head as I always say to mother why not have something pretty to look at if you have anything at all a certain Mrs. Ticket who was cook and housekeeper when the family were at home and housekeeper only when the family were away completed the establishment Mr. Meagles regretted that the nature of the duties in which she was engaged rendered Mrs. Ticket unpresentable at present but hoped to introduce her to the new visitor tomorrow she was an important part of the cottage he said his friends knew her that was her picture up in the corner when they went away she always put on the silk gown and the jet black row of curls represented in that portrait her hair was reddish grey in the kitchen established herself in the breakfast room put her spectacles between two particular leaves of Dr. Bakken's domestic medicine and sat looking over the blind all day until they came back again it was supposed that no persuasion could be invented which would induce Mrs. Ticket to abandon her post at the blind however long their absence or to dispense with the attendance of Dr. Bakken the lucubrations of which learned practitioner Mr. Meagles implicitly believed she had never yet consulted to the extent of one word in her life in the evening they played an old fashioned rubber and pets sat looking over her father's hand or singing to herself with grace and starts at the piano she was a spoiled child but how could she be otherwise who could be much with so pliable and beautiful a creature and not yield to her endearing influence who could pass an evening in the house and not love her for the grace and charm of her very presence in the room this was Clenem's reflection notwithstanding the final conclusion at which he had arrived upstairs in making it he revoked why what are you thinking of my good sir asked the astonished Mr. Meagles who was his partner I beg your pardon nothing returned Clenem think of something next time that's a dear fellow said Mr. Meagles pet lovingly believed he had been thinking of Ms. Wade why of Ms. Wade pet asked her father why indeed said Arthur Clenem pet colored a little and went to the piano again as they broke up for the night Arthur overheard Joyce ask his host if he could give him half an hour's conversation before breakfast in the morning the host replying willingly Arthur lingered behind a moment having his own word to add to that topic Mr. Meagles he said on there being left alone do you remember when you advised me to go straight to London perfectly well and when you gave me some other good advice which I needed at that time I won't say what it was worth answered Mr. Meagles but of course I remember our being very pleasant and confidential together I have acted on your advice and having disembarrassed myself of an an occupation that was painful to me for many reasons wish to devote myself and what means I have to another pursuit you can't do it too soon said Mr. Meagles now as I came down today I found that your friend Mr. Joyce is looking for a partner in his business not a partner in his mechanical knowledge but in the ways and means of turning the business arising from it to the best account just so said Mr. Meagles with his hands in his pockets and with the old business expression of face that had belonged to the scales and scoop Mr. Joyce mentioned incidentally in the course of our conversation that he was going to take your valuable advice on the subject of finding such a partner if you should think our views and opportunities at all likely to coincide perhaps you will let him know my available position I speak of course in ignorance of the details and they may be unsuitable on both sides no doubt, no doubt said Mr. Meagles with the caution belonging to the scales and scoop but there will be a question of figures and accounts just so, just so said Mr. Meagles with arithmetical solidity belonging to the scales and scoop and I shall be glad to enter into the subject provided Mr. Joyce responds and you think well of it if you will at present therefore allow me to place it in your hands you will much oblige me Clenum I accept the trust with readiness said Mr. Meagles and without anticipating any of the points which you as a man of business have of course reserved I am free to say to you that I think something may come of this of one thing you may be perfectly certain Daniel is an honest man I am so sure of it that I have promptly made up my mind to speak to you you must guide him you know you must steer him you must direct him he is one of a crudgety sort said Mr. Meagles evidently meaning nothing more than that he did new things and went new ways but he is as honest as the sun and so good night Clenum went back to his room sat down again before his fire and made up his mind that he was glad he had resolved not to fall in love with pet she was so beautiful so amiable so apt to receive any true impression given to her gentle nature and her innocent heart and make the man who should be so happy as to communicate it the most fortunate and enviable of all men that he was very glad indeed he had come to that conclusion but as this might have been a reason for coming to the opposite conclusion he followed out the theme again a little way in his mind to justify himself perhaps suppose that a man so his thoughts ran who had been of age some 20 years or so who was a diffident man from the circumstances of his youth who was rather a grave man from the tenor of his life who knew himself to be deficient in many little engaging qualities which he admired in others from having been long in a distant region with nothing softening near him who had no kind sisters to present to her who had no congenial home to make her known in who was a stranger in the land who had not a fortune to compensate in any measure for these defects who had nothing in his favor but his honest love and his general wish to do right suppose such a man were to come to this house and were to yield to the captivation of the girl and were to persuade himself that he could hope to win her what a weakness it would be he softly opened his window and looked out upon the serene river ear after ear so much allowance for the drifting of the ferry boat so many miles an hour the flowing of the stream hear the rushes there the lilies nothing uncertain or unquiet why should he be vexed or sore at heart it was not his weakness that he had imagined it was nobodies nobodies within his knowledge why should it trouble him and yet it did trouble him and he thought who has not thought for a moment sometimes that it might be better to flow away monotonously like the river and to compound for its insensibility with its insensibility to pain End of chapter the 16th Book I This recording is in the public domain Chapter the 17th Book I of Little Dorit Read for LibriVox.org by Alice Christoff Little Dorit by Charles Dickens Book I Chapter the 17th Nobodies Rival Before breakfast in the morning Arthur walked out to look about him as the morning was fine and he had an hour on his hands he crossed the river by the ferry and strolled along a footpath through some meadows when he came back to the towing path he found the ferry boat on the opposite side and a gentleman hailing it and waiting to be taken over this gentleman looked barely 30 he was well dressed a besprightly and gay appearance a well-knit figure and a rich dark complexion as Arthur came over the style and down to the water's edge the lounger glanced at him for a moment and then resumed his occupation of idly tossing stones into the water with his food there was something in his way of spurning them out of their places with his heel and getting them into the required position that Clenum thought had an air of cruelty in it most of us have more or less frequently derived a similar impression from a man's manner of doing some very little thing plucking a flower clearing away an obstacle or even destroying an insentient object the gentleman's thoughts were preoccupied as his face showed and he took no notice of a fine newfoundland dog who watched him attentively and watched every stone tool in its turn eager to spring into the river on receiving his master's sign the ferry boat came over however without his receiving any sign and when it grounded his master took him by the collar and walked him into it not this morning, he said to the dog you won't do for ladies company dripping wet lie down Clenum followed the man and the dog into the boat and took his seat the dog did as he was ordered the man remained standing with his hands in his pockets and towered between Clenum and the prospect man and dog both jumped lightly out as soon as they touched the other side and went away Clenum was glad to be rid of them the church clocks struck the breakfast hour as he walked up the little lane by which the garden gate was approached the moment he pulled the bell a deep loud barking assailed him from within the wall I heard no dog last night thought Clenum it was opened by one of the rosy maids and on the lawn were the new foundland dog and the man Miss Mini is not down yet gentlemen said the blushing portraits as they all came together in the garden then she said to the master of the dog Mr. Clenum sir and tripped away ordered enough Mr. Clenum that we should have met just now said the man upon which the dog became mute allow me to introduce myself Henry Gowan a pretty place this and looks wonderfully well this morning the manner was easy and the voice agreeable but still Clenum thought that if he had not made that decided resolution to avoid falling in love with pet he would have taken a dislike to this Henry Gowan it's new to you I believe said this Gowan when Arthur had extorted the place quite new I made acquaintance with it today afternoon of course this is not its best aspect it used to look charming in the spring before they went away last time I should like you to have seen it then but for that resolution so often recalled Clenum might have wished him in the crater of mount Etna in return for this civility I have had the pleasure of seeing it under many circumstances during the last three years and it's a paradise it was at least it might have been always accepting for that wise resolution like his dexterous impudence to call it a paradise he only called it a paradise because he first saw her coming and so made her out within her hearing to be an angel confusion to him and ah how beaming she looked and how glad how she caressed the dog and how the dog knew her how expressive that heightened colour and face that fluttered manner her downcast eyes her irresolute happiness when had Clenum seen her look like this not that there was any reason why he might could, would or should have ever seen her look like this or that he had ever hoped for himself to see her look like this but still when had he ever known her do it he stood at a little distance from them this gown when he had talked about a paradise had gone up to her and taken her hand the dog had put his great paws on her arm and laid his head against her dear bosom she had laughed and welcomed him and made far too much of the dog far, far too much that is to say, supposing there had been any third person looking on who loved her she disengaged herself now and came to Clenum and put her hand in his and wished him good morning and gracefully made as if she would take his arm and be escorted into the house to this gown had no objection no he knew he was too safe there was a passing cloud on Mr. Miggles's good-humoured face when they all three, four counting the dog and he was the most objectionable but one of the party came into breakfast neither it nor the touch of uneasiness on Mrs. Miggles as she directed her eyes towards it was unobserved by Clenum well, Gowan said Mr. Miggles even suppressing a sigh how goes the world with you this morning? much as usual, sir lion and die being determined not to waste anything of our weekly visit turned out early and came over from Kingston my present headquarters where I am making a sketch or two then he told how he had met Mr. Clenum at the ferry and he could come over together Mrs. Gowan is well, Henry said Mrs. Miggles Clenum became attentive my mother is quite well, thank you Clenum became inattentive I have taken the liberty of making an addition to your family dinner party today which I hope will not be inconvenient to you or to Mr. Miggles I couldn't very well get out of it he explained turning to the latter the young fellow wrote to propose himself to me and as he is well connected I thought you would not object to my transferring him here who is the young fellow asked Mr. Miggles with peculiar complacency he is one of the barnacles tight barnacles son Clarence Barnacle who is in his father's department I can at least guarantee that the river shall not suffer from his visit he won't set it on fire aye aye said Miggles a barnacle is he we know something of that family Aidan by George there at the top of the tree though let me see what relation will this young fellow be to Lord Desimus now his lordship married in 1797 Lady Jemima Bilberry who was the second daughter by the third marriage no there I am wrong that was Lady Sarafina Lady Jemima was the first daughter by the second marriage of the 15th Earl of Stillstalking with the honourable Clementina Tuzelum very well now this young fellow's father married a Stillstalking and his father married his cousin who was a barnacle the father of that father who married a barnacle married a Jodelby I am getting a little too far back Gowen I want to make out what relation this young fellow is to Lord Desimus that's easily stated his father is nephew to Lord Desimus nephew to Lord Desimus Mr. Meagles luxuriously repeated with his eyes shut that he might have nothing to distract him from the full flavour of the genealogical tree by George you're right Gowen so he is consequently Lord Desimus is his great uncle but stop a bit said Mr. Meagles opening his eyes with a fresh discovery then on the mother's side Lady Stillstalking is his great aunt of course she is aye aye aye said Mr. Meagles with much interest indeed indeed we shall be glad to see him we'll entertain him as well as we can in our humble way and we shall not starve him I hope at all events in the beginning of this dialogue Clenum had expected some great harmless outburst from Mr. Meagles like that which had made him burst out of the Circumlocution office holding Dois by the collar but his good friend had a weakness which none of us need go into the next street to find and which no amount of Circumlocution experience could long subdue in him Clenum looked at Dois but Dois knew all about it beforehand and looked at his plate and made no sign and said no word I am much obliged to you said Gowan to conclude the subject Clarence is a great ass but he is one of the dearest and best fellows that ever lived it appeared before the breakfast was over that everybody whom this Gowan knew was either more or less of an ass or more or less of a naïve but was notwithstanding the most lovable the most engaging the simplest, truest kindest, dearest best fellow that ever lived the process by which this and varying result was attained whatever the premises might have been stated by Mr. Henry Gowan thus I claim to be always bookkeeping with a peculiar nicety in every man's case and posting up a careful little account of good and evil with him I do this so conscientiously that I am happy to tell you I find the most worthless of men to be the dearest old fellow too and I am in a condition to make the gratifying report that there is much less difference than you are inclined to suppose between an honest man and a scoundrel the effect of this cheering discovery happened to be that while he seemed to be scrupulously finding good in most men he did in reality lower it where it was and set it up where it was not but that was its only disagreeable or dangerous feature it scarcely seemed however to afford Mr. Meagles as much satisfaction as the barnacle genealogy had done the cloud that Clenum had never seen upon his face before that morning frequently overcast it again and there was the same shadow of an easy observation of him on the comely face of his wife more than once or twice when pet caressed the dog to Clenum that her father was unhappy in seeing her do it and in one particular instance when Gawain stood on the other side of the dog and bent his head at the same time Arthur fancied that he saw tears rise to Mr. Meagles eyes as he hurried out of the room it was either the fact too or he fancied further that pet herself was not insensible to these little incidents that she tried with a more delicate affection than usual to express to her good father how much she loved him that it was on this account that she fell behind the rest both as they went to church and as they returned from it and took his arm he could not have sworn but that as he walked alone in the garden afterwards he had an instantaneous glimpse of her in her father's room clinging to both her parents with the greatest tenderness and weeping on her father's shoulder the latter part of the day turning out wet they were feigned to keep the house look over Mr. Meagles' collection and beguile the time with conversation this Gawain had plenty to say for himself and said it in an offhand and amusing manner he appeared to be an artist by profession and to have been at Rome some time yet he had a slight, careless amateur way with him a perceptible limp both in his devotion to art and his attainments which Clenum could scarcely understand he applied to Daniel Dois for help as they stood together looking out a window you know Mr. Gawain? he said in a low voice I have seen him here comes here every Sunday when they are at home an artist I infer from what he says a sort of a one said Daniel Dois in a surly tone what sort of a one? asked Clenum with a smile why he has sauntered into the arts at a leisurely palmal pace said Dois and I doubt if they care to be taken quite so coolly pursuing his inquiries Clenum found that the Gawain family were a very distant ramification of the barnacles and that the paternal Gawain originally attached to allegation abroad had been penchant of as a commissioner of nothing particular somewhere or other and had died at his post with his drawn salary in his hand nobly defending it to the last extremity in consideration of this eminent public service the barnacle then in power had recommended the crown to bestow a pension of two or three hundred a year on his widow to which the next barnacle in power had added certain shady and sedate apartments in the palaces at Hampton Court where the old lady still lived deploring the degeneracy of the times in company with several other old ladies of both sexes her son, Mr Henry Gawain inherited from his father, the commissioner that very questionable help in life a very small independence had been difficult to settle the rather as public appointments chance to be scarce and his genius during his earlier manhood was of that exclusively agricultural character which applies itself to the cultivation of wild oats at last he had declared that he would become a painter partly because he had always had an idle neck that way and partly to grieve the souls of the barnacles in chief who had not provided for him so it had come to pass successively first that several distinguished ladies had been frightfully shocked then that portfolios of his performances had been handed about onites and declared with ecstasy to be perfect clords perfect kipes, perfect phenomena then that Lord Decimus had bought his picture and had asked the president and council to dinner at a blow and had said with his own magnificent gravity do you know there appears to me to be really immense merit in that work and in short that people of condition had absolutely taken pains to bring him into fashion but somehow it had all failed the prejudiced public had stood out against it obstinately they had determined not to admire Lord Decimus' picture they had determined to believe that in every service except their own a man must qualify himself by striving early and late and by working heart and soul, might and main so now Mr. Gowan, like that worn out old coffin which never was Mohammed's nor anybody else's hung midway between two points jaundiced and jealous as to the one he had left jaundiced and jealous as to the other that he couldn't reach such was the substance of Clenham's discoveries concerning him made that rainy Sunday afternoon and afterwards about an hour or so after dinner time young Barnacle appeared, attended by his eyeglass in honor of whose family connections Mr. Meagles had cashiered the pretty parlour mates for the day and had placed on duty in their stead to dingy men young Barnacle was in the last degree amazed and disconcerted at sight of Arthur and had murmured involuntarily look here, upon my soul you know before his presence of mind returned even then he was obliged to embrace the earliest opportunity of taking his friend into a window and saying, in a nasal way that was a part of his general debility I want to speak to you Gowan I say, look here, who is that fellow? a friend of our hosts, none of mine he's a most ferocious radical you know said young Barnacle is he? how do you know? Ecot Sir, he was pitching into our people the other day in the most tremendous manner went up to our place and pitched into my father to that extent that it was necessary to order him out came back to our department and pitched into me look here, you never saw such a fellow what did he want? Ecot Sir, returned young Barnacle he said he wanted to know, you know he needed our department without an appointment and said he wanted to know the stare of indignant wonder with which young Barnacle accompanied this disclosure would have strained his eyes injuriously but for the opportune relief of dinner Mr. Meagles, who had been extremely solicitous to know how his uncle and aunt were begged him to conduct Mrs. Meagles to the dining room and when he sat on Mrs. Meagles' right hand Mr. Meagles looked as gratified as if his whole family were there all the natural charm of the previous day was gone the eaters of the dinner, like the dinner itself were lukewarm, insipid, overdone and all owing to this poor little dull young Barnacle conversationless at any time he was now the victim of a weakness special to the occasion he was under a pressing and continual necessity of looking at that gentleman which occasioned his eyeglass to get into his soup into his wine glass into Mrs. Meagles' plate to hang down his back like a bell rope and be several times disgracefully restored to his bosom by one of the dingy men weakened in mind by his frequent losses of this instrument and its determination not to stick in his eye and more and more enfeebled in intellect every time he looked at the mysterious clenum he applied spoons to his eyes, orcs and other foreign matters connected with the furniture of the dinner table his discovery of these mistakes greatly increased his difficulties but never released him from the necessity of looking at clenum and whenever clenum spoke this ill-starred young man was clearly seized with a dread that he was coming by some artful device around to that point of wanting to know you know it may be questioned therefore whether anyone but Mr. Meagles had much enjoyment of the time Mr. Meagles however thoroughly enjoyed young Barnacle as a mere flask of the golden water in the tale became a full fountain when it was poured out so Mr. Meagles seemed to feel that this small spice of Barnacle imparted to his table the flavor of the whole family tree in its presence, his frank, fine, genuine qualities paled he was not so easy, he was not so natural he was striving after something that did not belong to him he was not himself what a strange peculiarity on the part of Mr. Meagles and where should we find another such case at last the wet Sunday wore itself out in a wet night and young Barnacle went home in a cab, feebly smoking and the objectionable Gowan went away on foot, accompanied by the objectionable dog Pet had taken the most amiable paints all day to be friendly with clenum but clenum had been a little reserved since breakfast that is to say would have been if he had loved her when he had gone to his own room and had again thrown himself into the chair by the fire Mr. Dois knocked at the door, candle in hand, to ask him how and at what hour he proposed returning on the morrow after settling this question he said a word to Mr. Dois about this Gowan who would have run in his head a good deal if he had been his rival those are not good prospects for a painter, said clenum No, returned Dois Mr. Dois stood, chamber candle stick in hand, the other hand in his pocket looking hard at the flame of his candle with a certain quiet perception in his face that they were going to say something more I thought our good friend a little changed and out of spirits after he came this morning said clenum Yes, returned Dois But not his daughter, said clenum No, said Dois There was a pause on both sides Mr. Dois, still looking at the flame of his candle, slowly resumed The truth is he has twice taken his daughter abroad in the hope of separating her from Mr. Gowan He rather thinks she is disposed to like him and he has painful doubts I quite agree with him as I dare say you do, of the hopefulness of such a marriage There, clenum choked and coughed and stopped Yes, you have taken cold, said Daniel Dois, but without looking at him There is an engagement between them of course, said clenum airily No, as I am told certainly not It has been solicited on the gentleman's part, but none has been made Since their recent return our friend has yielded to a weekly visit, but that is the utmost Mini would not deceive her father and mother You have travelled with them and I believe you know what a bond there is among them extending even beyond this present life All that there is between Miss Mini and Mr. Gowan I have no doubt we see Ah, we see enough, cried Arthur Mr. Dois wished him good night in the tone of a man who had heard a mournful not to say despairing, exclamation and who sought to infuse some encouragement and hope into the mind of the person by whom it had been uttered Such tone was probably a part of his oddity, as one of a crotchety band for how could he have heard anything of that kind without clenum's hearing it too The rain fell heavily on the roof and pattered on the ground and dripped among the evergreens and the leafless branches of the trees The rain fell heavily, drearily It was a night of tears If clenum had not decided against falling in love with pet if he had had the weakness to do it if he had, little by little, persuaded himself to set all the earnestness of his nature all the might of his hope and all the wealth of his matured character on that cast If he had done this and found that all was lost he would have been, that night, unutterably miserable as it was as it was, the rain fell heavily, drearily End of chapter the seventeenth, book the first This recording is in the public domain