From the Bel Canto Opera production. set in Italian Soho, London, in the 1960s. Dr. Malatesta has found a prospective bride for Don Pasquale.
MALATESTA: Don Pasquale...
DON PASQUALE: Ah, there you are. What news then? . Quickly!
MALATESTA: Calm down...I will tell you
DON PASQUALE: I am in no mood for patience. Is she willing?
MALATESTA: She agreed.
DON PASQUALE: Ah, Madonna. My prayer is answered.
MALATESTA: (aside) There is no fool...like an old fool..
(to Pasquale) First she seemed a bit evasive, but I made your case persuasive
She fulfils every your expectation
All you hoped for, you will get
DON PASQUALE: I am trembling with elation
Doctor, I am in your debt. Describe her!
MALATESTA: Face lovely as a work of art
Lips soft as mozzarella
Graced with a warm Italian heart
Sweet as a crem' caramella
Nothing extreme or foreign
Curves like Sophia Loren
Though she's voluptuous , this I vow
A virgin, I swear to you, a virgin... as of now
DON PASQUALE: She sounds fantastic!
Incredible. You've found the perfect wife for me
MALATESTA: Furthermore she cooks like mamma cooks
Pasta that makes mouths water
And yet she's got such grace and looks
So young she could be your daughter
Nubile and full of vigour
and with a pneumatic figure
What more could any old bachelor wish
Than for a spicy dish, a nice Italian dish
DON PASQUALE: I quite agree.
MALATESTA: Heaven has sent her straight to you
To take her as your wedded wife
Heaven has sent her straight to you
To have and to hold her for all life
to have and to hold her for all your life.
DON PASQUALE: Her background?
MALATESTA: Sicilian , as we are.
DON PASQUALE: What family?
DON PASQUALE: Could she be a relation?
MALATESTA: Yes, we're related...a bit.
DON PASQUALE: Is she a cousin?
MALTESTA: No, she's my sister.
DON PASQUALE: Ah, splendid.
And when am I to meet her? I cannot wait to greet her.
MALATESTA: Tonight I'll bring her round to you.
DON PASQUALE: Not sooner? Go fetch her This instant.. I can't wait any longer. My passion's growing stronger.
MALATESTA: Stay calm, you must be wary. You'll have a coronary.
DON PASQUALE: She'll see that I'm still sexy
MALATESTA: You're close to apoplexy. You'd better take it easy
DON PASQUALE: I'm ready for the vow...
MALATESTA: I'll go and fetch her now.
DON PASQUALE: I'll get dressed up
MALATESTA: Choose your clothes with care
She likes a man with flare
DON PASQUALE: I'll do it!
MALATESTA: Calm down, my friend
DON PASQUALE: But hurry
MALATESTA: Don't worry
DON PASQUALE: So get going
MALATESTA: Hold on
DON PASQUALE: On your way, on your way
Now hop it! Go fetch her, and bring her here today.
Ah, I'm in euphoria - in expectation
I'm just in time for this rejuvenation
I'm feeling giddy, flighty and frisky
Just like a lad who's had much too much whisky
Thoughts of a bride cause my pulse rate to quicken
Like an old rooster who's offered spring chicken
I can enjoy again being a boy again
Courting , cavorting and bursting with pride
Flings will be flung again, when I am young again
When I am wed to a pretty young bride
Pretty and sweet as a crem' caramella
She'll be the wife for me
Ah ah ah
I'm In Elysium, happy as Larry
Finding a virgo intacta to marry
With stimulation - in moderation
I can comply with a spry consummation
Let people sneer when they hear my intention
Here comes the bridegroom who's drawing a pension
But when she bares for me six sons and heirs for me
They'll be astounded they found it so queer
With my agility and her fertility
We'll make bambini, a child every year.
Come, let's get on with it No hesitation
Bring on the vessel of my procreation
I'm ready to shed my dead bachelor life
Bring on the progeny, I've too long tarried
I'll be a daddy who's glad he is married
I'm lucky to find a kindly young wife
Ready to shed my dead bachelor life
Lucky to find a pretty young wife
Lucky to find a pretty young wife.
Words © Tom Boyd