From the famed MLBloggers at RSBS, Jeff and his Cub fan friend, Theo, take to the Chicago streets with a hardcore gangsta rap ditty 'bout how 'dem Cubs be hated by none other than Jesus himself.
Starring: JAMES TIERNEY... as Jesus JEFFERY LUNG... as Jeff THEO ROLL... as Theo
Produced by Theo Roll Directed by Jeffery Lung Edited by Theo Roll Music by Hurricane Chris
Back when I was born, in 1979, the baseball gods blessed this soul of mine, Made me a Cardinal fan, straight from the Lou, while losin baseball games is all the Cubbies can do.
Jesus, Buddha, God and all above, aint givin much of that Cubbie love. We get so close, so close we can taste it, but in the end itll all be wasted!
Thats what ya get, for bein a terrible team, The gods bend ya over for a celestial ream (in the butt!). Andre Dawson, MVP in 88*, you still finished in last, itll always be your fate!
We in the playoffs yo, two years in a row! But ya didnt win a game, and everybody know. But this is our year, Piniella dont lead know scrubs. Forget that man! Jesus hates the Cubs!
CHORUS: Jesus hates the Cubs, man, Jesus hates the Cubs! We aint gotta team, man, Jesus hates the Cubs! You stuck in a dream, man, Jesus hates the Cubs! Jesus hates the Cubs, man, Jesus hates the Cubs!
Blame it on a goat, a black cat or Bartman, Truth is theres one team Jesus just cant stand. Chicago Cubs with all their losin glory but Jesus wont even change that story!
Prior and Wood, you believed it through and through. Santo, Sandberg and Sutcliffe too! At the end of the day, all across the world, A hundred years later no flag to unfurl!
And its Jesus fault he hates Zambrano with a passion! Close call at the plate get a reaction. Our field is fallin apart, drunks are all around, And were the biggest losing ticket in the entire town.
Jesus loves the White Sox, like 2005. Made us Cub fans the most bitter people alive. But this is your YEAR, Piniella dont lead no scrubs. Forget that man, Jesus hates the Cubs.
*Note: Kirk Gibson won the MVP in '88, but it doesn't rhyme and we're cool like dat so get over it.