Shocking Productions
  • 2014 in Review (Parody of Blank Space by Taylor Swift)

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    In a parody of Blank Space by Taylor Swift, Chandler Dean remembers another year we'd rather forget. Stay tuned to the end for the first-ever ALS Jello Pudding Challenge. Groundbreaking stuff.

    Directed by Carolina Treviño
    Written and Performed by Chandler Dean
    Edited by Chandler Dean and Carolina Treviño
    Produced by Chandler Dean, Ethan Orkin, and Carolina Treviño
    Also starring Jonathan Maislin, John Guttman, Rebecca Orsak, and Dillon Glass
    Master Carpenter: Alberto Treviño
    Location services by Kelly Dean, Jonathan Maislin, Rebecca Orsak, Andrea Popova, and Carolina Treviño
    Observation by Graeme Campbell


    2014’s at an end
    And it brought us some terrible things
    Staten Island, Ferguson
    Makes you want to stand up and — wait, oh my god,
    look at that butt
    look at that butt
    what was I thinking?
    Probably not important

    Midterm turnout — all time low
    Ebola panic’s at an all time high
    Good thing I’ve got health care — oh,
    let me just let this refresh
    give it a sec
    hold on wait
    maybe if I —
    that’s not great
    I’ll just try
    another day
    Maybe after I go bowling this weekend

    So this year was pretty awful
    Bill Cosby’s allegations look grim
    His career is simply over (mmm)
    let’s pour some Jello Pudding for him
    Got a long list of nude photos
    iPhone hacking can’t get shook
    ‘cause the media loves sensation
    And you love to look

    this year America was reckless
    We took film sequels too far
    Taylor Swift left us breathless (*gasp*)
    When she destroyed a perfectly good car
    Between ISIS and policemen
    Heroes are few and far between
    Replaced by point-blank shootings
    In 2014

    Malaysia Airlines missing flight
    Did we actually never figure that out?
    Congress taken by the right
    Obama doesn’t seem to give a shit
    He’s like “man”
    “I’m the prez”
    “What I say goes”
    “Y’all chill here”
    At least that’s my understanding of the situation

    Oh no

    Robin Williams’s life went down
    After that we lost Joan Rivers too
    Eric Garner, Michael Brown
    and faith in justice also died this year
    worst of all
    made no sense
    Can someone explain
    Matt Damon’s part to me
    Do not go gentle into that good BULLSHIT

    Chris Christie burst his bubble
    Shia Labeouf covered his face
    Secret Service got in trouble (whoops!)
    And they’re still all about that bass
    There were a couple good things
    That happened this past year
    I don’t think we should forget them
    So I’ll list them here

    Pretty good Star Wars trailer
    Gay marriage in a billion states
    New worldwide leader (praise Kim!)
    House of Cards and Game of Thrones are so great
    I dug The Lego Movie
    That’s it, I think, I mean,
    I’ve drawn a blank on other good things
    In 2014

    So many problems don’t know what to do with
    It makes you want to give up and say screw it
    But, we can’t do that there is nowhere to run
    So we just have to wait until this year’s done

    So this year is gone forever
    As our culture goes down in flames
    Thanking Jesus that it’s over
    Hoping next year isn’t so lame
    Maybe if we work together
    See past our differences
    We can make our future better
    Can’t get much worse than this

    We’ve got a pretty good chance here
    To start our lives anew
    Sure we say that every year
    But that doesn’t make it less true
    So let’s all agree right now
    To try not to be insane
    We’ve got a blank slate baby
    In 2015 Show less
    Read more
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