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KeeptheHeat

  • Nicolas Cage Never Loved Us

    94,974 views 1 year ago
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    Nic
    Nic Cage never loved us
    Nic never loved us
    Sent you letters, sent you emails
    Sent you lots of heavy sweaters off the retail
    Nic
    We're the raisins, you're the brand
    If you're afraid, take our hand
    We can sail the seas to uncharted lands

    In life you deserve all the finer things
    All the twenty five percent off of designer things
    The diviner things
    The late night make out sessions almost getting caught on grandma's recliner things
    Look at me (Look at him)
    Look at me
    We just want to stare deep into your blue eyes
    The same ones that are incapable of lies
    The same ones that make a grown man cry

    Your name's Nic Coppola, no?
    My uncle Lonnie went to junior high with you
    Remember?
    Lonnie David. Class of '82. Ringing a bell?
    Remember?
    Nick?
    Nick, remember?
    Nic Cage never loved us
    (His real name's Nic Coppola)
    Don't you ever get it f***ed up!
    Nic Cage never loved us
    Man, Nic Cage never loved us!

    HOLLYWOOD'S MOST PAID!
    On silver screens all the children scream
    HOLLYWOOD'S MOST LAID!
    Off silver screens women's hearts bleed

    N-I-C-C-A-G-E
    He's the face of weather and family
    N-I-C-C-A-G-E
    He donates to youngsters overseas
    We designed this shrine
    Your jawline's divine
    Treat us right and we'll traverse the labyrinth of life
    Adopt us, autograph the dotted line 'cause...
    Father never loved us

    Read our film script you should play the lead
    It's about two dudes who meet the guy of their dreams
    And if it flops, your antics on the screen
    Will probably become a meme with a cult following
    Let's study abroad...Learn fluent french
    Pretzels on the pier...Sit on a bench
    Cook swedish meatballs in our kitchenette
    Go to AA meetings...Make amends

    Remember when we murdered that guy in New Orleans?
    Jerry... whatever
    Remember?
    Then we pinned it on that one bum
    Remember?
    Nick?
    What do you mean that wasn't you?
    Nic Cage never loved us
    (His middle name's Kim)
    That's a girl's name... (STILL COOL)
    ...Hold up, is that Drumline with Nick Cannon?
    I liked him better on America's Got Talent
    I'll be real, I like that good boy look
    But Nick Cannon never loved us
    He's like the king of Teen Nick!
    Nick Cannon's a prick
    Nick Cannon never loved us Show less
    Read more
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