In this video I highlight 5 signs to look out for, if you're wondering whether or not you're being taken for granted in your relationship.
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We have all experienced this at some point. That individual who you care about so much, that person who you’re willing to do almost anything for – just refuses to acknowledge your presence and how vital you are to the upkeep and overall maintenance of the relationship or ‘friendship’.
Here ladies and gentlemen, are a few signs to look out for, if you’re wondering whether or not you’re being taken for granted in your relationship.
1. Your Good Nature Is Being Used and Abused
It is being used against you for the sole benefit of another person.
Open Your Eyes
They’ve become accustomed to you going the extra mile in your relationship; you buy them gifts, plan and create unique, romantic moments with them – however, because they know that you are so in love with them – they don’t really have any incentive to pull their weight. Especially if they feel that you will never leave them.
That the moment they come home from work, there will be a glorious assortment of foods; a variety of flavours presented all over the dining table for them.
That they will receive mind-blowing sex, even if they don’t make much of an effort.
That they will not have to clean up after themselves because you’re already going to do so for them!
Most importantly of all, they know that the word “No”, doesn’t exist in your dictionary. This is a big sign that you’re being taken for granted, and you’re allowing it to happen.
Do you think she trusts you? Of course she trusts you, she knows you’ll be the only one to apologise for that recent argument or problem, even though she was clearly in the wrong. But does she respect you? Most certainly not.
A partner who respects you will be thankful to have someone who has such a big heart and is good-natured beyond measure.
However it is also that respect for you, that will enable him/her to stop you, when you’re doing way too much for them; and will be more than willing to take responsibility for what they have done, all for the sake of trying to mend and improve the relationship.
These days I’m beginning to understand, that the strength of a relationship works akin to the muscles in the body. When you have a strenuous workout, one hard enough to break your muscle tissues down – the food you consume and the sleep you get is utilised to build stronger muscles, thus preventing them from breaking down again.
The same occurs in a relationship. When you have a serious argument or fallout, effective communication and time apart between both parties allows the process of healing to begin, resulting in a stronger relationship. The reason many relationships don’t mend properly is because, the healing process is always interrupted – either by the people in the relationship, or other meddling friends and family members.
2. No Appreciation or Reciprocation
Building on the last point, do they appreciate the positive traits you bring in the relationship, and most importantly, are they highly reciprocal towards your actions?
If you’re the type of person who always makes an effort with your appearance, and you begin to notice that your partner doesn’t (exercise included), or has stopped – how would you feel about that or tackle that?
This isn’t a clear sign that you’re being taken for granted however, it can contribute towards cultivating feelings of contempt.
3. One Rule For Him – Another For You
Whenever you do something, it is considered unacceptable – but if he does it, all is ok?
This isn’t just a sign that you’re being taken for granted, but it is also a sign of domestic policing being enforced in your home and relationship.
I believe that this is the first stage of abuse, as you’re effectively being told when you can or cannot do. Think of it similarly to ‘mothering’, with the same limitations of any free-will and autonomy.
Some examples maybe…
Having a bunch of friends over for a party, on a consistent basis – yet you cannot do the same.
Being told what you can or cannot wear, but you can’t mention something similar to him without an argument breaking out.
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