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  • Terms and Conditions

    4,567 views 3 months ago
    BY BREATHING YOU AGREE THAT WE AGREE THAT WE'LL DO OUR BEST TO KEEP WATCH OVER YOUR BASIC INTERESTS and ACCEPT THAT, UPON YOUR DE-WOMB-ING. the SYSTEM YOU FIND YOURSELF IN WILL INEVITABLY DILUTE AND OR CONTRADICT ANY IDEALISTIC NOTION OF INDIVIDUALITY your System MAY HAVE LED you to IMAGINE OR BEen PRIVY Too, BEFORE ENTERING, OR DURING THE TERM OF THIS AGREEMENT. YOU MAY PERCEIVE YOUR EXPERIENCE WITHIN your SYSTEM TO seem to PEAK at TIMES AND seem to TROUGH during OTHERS. YOUR SYSTEM ACCEPTS NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY SENSE OF instability, INEQUALITY, HARD FEELINGS, MURDEROUS, SUICIDAL SIDE EFFECTS you MAY AND PROBABLY will COME TO ENCOUNTER throughout YOUR Life. WE kNOW HOW YOUR WORLD SHOULD WORK BECAUSE WE WERE HERE BEFORE YOU. WE MANAGED TO CLIMB TO THE TOP OF ANY LADDERS THAT YOU COULD CONCEIVE OF, already. THEREFORE THE ONLY remaining WAY TO SATIsFY OUR EGOS IS TO LEAD NATIONS WHICH WE guard BECAUSE WITHOUT THEM, YOU'D HAVE NO WHERE takes vacations, THE WORLD WOULD BE YOURS. THE FACT WE BUILT THE before mentioned LADDERS IS of no relevance here. WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO HYPOCRISY THROUGHOUT THE LIFETIME OF THE AGREEMENT, WHICH CEASES, as and when you, do. FOR EXAMPLE, IF WE INDOCTRINATE YOU WITH WARM FEELINGS OF UNITY, SOLIDARITY AND THE BROTHERHOOD OF MAN, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO ACTUALLY attempt to ENFORCE, or realise ANY VISION OF THESE IDEAS. DOING SO WILL RENDER YOU A THREAT to OUR PERCEPTION OF the efficient ruling of HUMANITY AND MAY RESULT IN HARD FEELINGS and possibly Torture. WE MAY, at ANY TIME, CHOOSE TO LOOK INTO YOUR PERSONAL LIVES AND THOUGHTS TO AID us in executing WHAT WE APPROVE as BEING THE MOST EFFICIENT METHODS OF manifesting WHAT WE MAY INCORRECTLY DEFINE AS UNITY AND PEACE. WE CAN ALSO LOOK at YOUR TASTES IN PORNOGRAPHY, OUR COMMODITIES AND TAKE AWAY FOOD stuffs AND EXPLOIT THAT INFORMATION to our taste, at ANY TIME. YOUR SPEECH IS FREE AND WE VALUE it BUT MAY RESTRICT OR CENSOR YOUR ACCESS TO MEDIA PLATFORMS at ANY TIME, TO FAVOuR THE ENFORCEMENT OF OUR CULMINATION OF WHAT MAY BE THE MOST AWESOME OUTCOME FOR EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE. THE TERM ENFORCEMENT REFERS TO the nature WARS, GENOCIDES, AND VIOLATIONS OF PRIVACY AND ANY DEFINITION OF TRANSPARENCY YOU MAY HAVE COME TO KNOW. WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW THAT WE ALL KNOW THAT ALL MEN ARE EQUAL, WHILST SIMULTANEOUSLY maintaining THE POWER TO, PROTECT and ensure OWNERSHIP AND the GENERAL HEALTH OF OUR INDIVIDUAL INTERESTS, isolating us all from our fellow men and women. THIS MAY SOUND DRAB, BUT WE ASSURE YOU, WE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR MANY GENERATIONS AND ARE EXTREMELY DEDICATED TO OUR PERCEPTION OF YOUR LIVES and Interests and 100% GUARANTEE TO GIVE YOU COMPLICATED ANSWERS TO YOUR COMPLICATED QUESTIONS WHICH REQUIRE SIMPLE ANSWERS which you KNOW WE ALREADY KNOW ANYHOW. If You'd LIKE TO JOIN OUR MAILING LIST, THINK NO, BUT we will SIGN YOU UP ANYWAY AS IT IS A STATUTORY REQUIREMENT OF THE AGREEMENT YOU JUST ENTERED INTO THAT NOW EMPOWERS us AS YOUR REPRESENTATIVES AND GUARDIANS OF YOUr LIFE parameters. FAILURE TO RECEIVE PROPAGANDA FROM OUR MAILING LIST TEAM, who are all VERY HAPPY WITH THEIR JOBS AND Lives IN GENERAL, MAY RESULT IN FREE THINKING AND THE UP-RISE OF faith in MORAL COMMON SENSE. THE TERM 'LIFE' IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK AND IS SUBJECT TO COPYRIGHT PROTECTION LAW.

    Please Share if you feel like it. Narrated, Shot and Cut by Cosmo Jarvis - Mixed and Mastered for you listening pleasure by 13111Y. Show less
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  • Music Videos Play all

    Collection of my music videos
    • Cosmo Jarvis - She Doesn't Mind - Duration: 5 minutes, 13 seconds.

      • 5 years ago
      • 515,396 views
      Music video written and directed by Cosmo Jarvis.
      Produced by Fletcher Jarvis.

      Thanks to everyone who came down.
    • Cosmo Jarvis - My Day (Album Version) - Duration: 8 minutes, 19 seconds.

      • 5 years ago
      • 222,438 views
      Music Video for the Song 'My Day'.

      Directed by Cosmo Jarvis and Produced by Fletcher Jarvis.

      D.O.P Daniel Broadley

      Thanks for Andy Kent a million times.

      Harry Meads - Drums, Harry Mac...
    • Cosmo Jarvis - Gay Pirates - Duration: 4 minutes, 28 seconds.

      • 6 years ago
      • 2,375,411 views
      Is the World Strange, Or am I Strange? The new album from Cosmo Jarvis, including Gay Pirates. Find out more on http://www.CosmoJarvis.com

      Also click http://t.opsp.in/MWfu to get your free acous...
    • She's Got You - Duration: 6 minutes, 12 seconds.

      • 7 years ago
      • 593,710 views
      Music video for 'She's Got You' by Cosmo Jarvis
    • Sort Yourself Out - Duration: 4 minutes, 3 seconds.

      • 8 years ago
      • 73,508 views
      A one take music video for a song by Cosmo Jarvis called 'sort yourself out'. when i wrote the song i just got given a shitload of footage from my dad, he used to always film stuff me and my buddie...
    • The Wave That Made Them Happy - Duration: 6 minutes, 13 seconds.

      • 8 years ago
      • 50,402 views
      short music video (and introduction) by cosmo jarvis, song written and recorded by cosmo jarvis.
    • Problems - Duration: 5 minutes, 42 seconds.

      • 7 years ago
      • 160,556 views
      Music Video/Short Film or the song 'Problems' by Cosmo Jarvis. Shot, Directed and edited by Cosmo Jarvis. Starring Fank Timson, Daniel Crimp, Aine Dalton, Autumn Hewitt. also with Kevin Jarvis, Mr....
    • The Lonely Thing - Duration: 3 minutes, 55 seconds.

      • 9 years ago
      • 43,952 views
      Music video about the joys of self experimentation when one is lonely
    • The Lonely Stroll - Duration: 4 minutes, 12 seconds.

      • 9 years ago
      • 41,937 views
      Music video -- my serious unplugged acoustic story telling side
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  • Short Films Play all

    Collection of my short films
    • Bob Is Welcome - Duration: 11 minutes.

      • 5 years ago
      • 5,112 views
      short film made in one day about giving up on sobriety because of the pressures of stress and bad luck. Written, Directed and Edited by Cosmo Jarvis, shot by Rosie Hillier.
      with Tom Hannaford, Cos...
    • Bait, Locate and Confiscate (foul language) - Duration: 9 minutes, 38 seconds.

      • 6 years ago
      • 16,055 views
      Two police do a drugs hit on an innocent drug user. Cosmo Jarvis, David Egan and Harvey Chatter. Improvised.
      Basically I hired these costumes for another movie im making, but there was a day to k...
    • Bait, Locate and Confiscate: Divine Intervention (foul language) - Duration: 14 minutes.

      • 6 years ago
      • 9,623 views
      Terry and Terry visit Cassius Campbell, and they're sure he has something for them.
      With Cosmo Jarvis, Davis Egan, Ayrden Pocock (Adrian), Che Campbell, Fletcher Jarvis.
    • HAPPY F***IN' VALENTINES DAY (CENSORED) - Duration: 10 minutes.

      • 5 years ago
      • 16,148 views
      Short film for the people involved with www.afterelton.com who liked my single and the video. Conceived by Cosmo Jarvis, Interpreted and performed by David Egan (left), Cosmo Jarvis (right) and Ayr...
    • The Joke (the final cut HD) - Duration: 13 minutes.

      • 5 years ago
      • 10,157 views
      Short film by Cosmo Jarvis. jack carter, Dani Vout, Dave Egan, Luke Coterill, Che Campell. Please sha
    • The Alley Way - (The Final Cut HD) - Duration: 5 minutes, 50 seconds.

      • 5 years ago
      • 6,311 views
      Short film by Cosmo Jarvis about a man who like to take walks. Written, shot, performed, composed and edited by Cosmo Jarvis. Part of Midnight Shorts at SXSW film festival 2010
    • Michael and Tasha (the final cut HD) - Duration: 8 minutes, 13 seconds.

      • 5 years ago
      • 12,875 views
      short film about a pervert guy and his online adventures with a bass playing web-cam girl.
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