The black magic of Vampiric Spektor has infiltrated the internet, resulting in catastrophic failures of the You-Tube communication medium. The powers, digitized, birthed the Malcurian to cause capital chaos. The Malcurian faces the choice of ensured destruction of all non-analog outputs or to destroy his creator, Michael Scott Palmer. Armed only with the creed: THERE IS NO QUEEN, MALCURIAN IS TRUTH; and the CROSS STABILIZATION LAPSE CYCLE the Malcurian will enter our hearts and mind. The question is not who is the Malcurian. The question is: Are you feeling Malcurious?