Season 5Epic Rap Battles Of HistoryGeorge R. R. MartinVERSUSJ. R. R. TolkienBEGIN!Brace yourselfgather up your trollsand your soldier elvesand your ents and your orcsand your wargs and your Stingsyour dwarves and Glamdringscause there's a new literary Lord in the Ringmy readers fall in lovewith every character I've writtenthen I kill 'emand they're like "no he didn't"all your bad guys dieand your good guys survivewe can teel what's gonna happenby page and age fivetell your all seeing eyeto find some sex in your moviesditch the Goonieand cast a couple boobiesthere's edgier plots in thatDavid the Gnomeyour hobbit hole heroescan't handle my throneKingsQueensdragonsdragonshorses, fortresses, magic and swordsyou Hob-bit my whole shityou uninspired hackyou want a war George?welcome to Shire-raqin book sales you've go nothing to savI'm number one and twoyou're under Fifty Shades of GreyI got the prose of a proyour shit's subparyou're a pirateyou even stole my R.R.we all know the world is fullof chance and anarchyso yes it's true to lifefor characters to die randomlybut news flashthe genre's called fantasyit's meant to be unrealisticyou myopic manateeI conscientiously objectto what you're doing on these beatsI'll cut you like my teethon Beauty and the Beastyou went too deepProfessor tweed pantswe don't need the back storyon every fucking tree branchI cut my teeth in the trenches of the Sommeyou LARPed your Santa Claus assthrough Vietnamand it's hard for me to takecriticism on clothesfrom a dude who sends a ravento say hi to his toesMan your fat jokesare worse that your pipe smokemy show's the hottest thing on HBO!I'm rock and roll, you're anerdy little nebbishand I may be dirtybut you got a hairy foot fetish dogeven the names of your characters suckyou got Boffers and Bofursand BrandybucksI got a second breakfastfor all them goofy fuckslift up my gutand tea Baggins my nutsC.S. Lewis and I were just discussinghow you and Jon snowboth know nothing!because the backstory of mybox office is billionsgot my children making millionsoff my Silmarillionsand I'm more rock and rollthan you've ever beendon't believe me?ask Led Zeppelin!you can't reach this fellowshit, I'm too Toweringevery time I battleit's return of the King!!!WHO WON?WHO NEXT?YOU DECIDE!Epic Rap Battles Of History//Ich hab mein bestes versucht, allerdings ist es teilweise sehr schwierig, eine gute Übersetzung zu finden, die sich auch für Untertitel eignet.//Verbesserungsvorschläge sind gerne gesehen! :-)//Untertitel von: Chrintario