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She's a witch!

by NM05 • 5,103,497 views

Monty Python and the Holy Grail... :D

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If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck and quack like a duck it probably is a witch.
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+blaha bla the how do we know ducks arent witches
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So you know how to tell if someone is a witch...lol... for Marianna.
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+Kristin Crumpler Yup! God forgives everyone :D
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+mikaela cash if they come to him.  But they have to come to him. 
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The American justice system in a nutshell.
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+Postghost I'd say it has less to do with being secular or sectarian, and more to do with our failing education system and the fact that we pick juries that are so stupid they can't even think of an excuse to get out of jury duty.
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Well, at least she got a fair trial.
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+Fawn No who said they were rigged?
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So, let me get this straight...Witches are burned, but wood is also burned, and wood floats, but ducks also float, so, if someone weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood, therefore, she's a witch
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+João Lucas That's what they call a non-sequiter argument. Making an illogical supposition based on two unrelated generalizations. Bs are often As Y is a B, and so therefore Y is an A
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"I got better". 
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The Internet Mob Justice in a nutshell.
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0:18 look its a swallow with a coconut xD
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+TotallyNotScootasticMC I actually never noticed that in the movie, but did just now in the clip.
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+Event Horizon Productions yeah, you known the old lady smashing her cat againsa the wall? i noticed her in the bring out ya dead scene when i was watching the movie
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"who are you who are so wise in the ways of science"
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Was that not a goose she was being weighed with?
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+Deaglan Cullen It were an unladen European swallow...
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As many times as I've seen this ... What's she say at the end? I never understand her.
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+EDarien "This is a fair court."
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+Jordan Moore No, she says "It's a fair cop." If you look in a dictionary, you'll find that "to cop" means  "to catch". "It's a fair cop" is a British idiom equivalent to "You got me fair and square."
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We have come a long way but we have a little further to go. The truth relating to conscious life has been revealed. Google Truth Contest and read the top entry.
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Ljubica Sabljak Shared on Google+ · 2 months ago
HRVATI I KLIMATSKE PROMJENE!
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She turned me into a newt! ...I got better XDXDXD I think I remember yugioh abridged using that joke! This film is a legend, it's like a comedic reservoir!
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"VERY SMALL ROCKS!!"
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DJ U.K Shared on Google+ · 4 weeks ago
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These guys a legends
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Ah a wise man I must try this with the mother in law, always thought she was a witch.
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So if you weigh the same as a duck you're made of wood.  A duck weighs the same as a duck, so is a duck made out of wood?
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That's a fair cop.  Can you imagine a real-life victim of a Witch hunt saying that?!
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Jacek Malinowski Shared on Google+ · 1 month ago
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Monty Python, social critic extraordinaire.
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Love all monty python movies. The meaning of life, Life of Brian. All great and laugh after laugh.
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Not all different from some truthers eh? 😝😭😛😂
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Here is the thing, ducks can be different weights, so the witch could be lighter, heavier or weigh the same
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Who are you so wise in the ways of science.
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+howard madnick But isn't wood also of different weights?
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Something I really love about this, and which we usually overlook in our zeal at mocking the witch hunters, is that as absurd as the judge's logic is, the test that he sets up is one that no adult human would fail, unlike many real witch tests. (Bedivere may actually not be as dumb as we think. This would seem to be a good way of defusing this kind of situation). And yet this woman does fail the test: she does in fact weigh the same amount as a duck, and she also seems to accept the verdict as reasonable. This is so meta, because the joke's on us. She really is a witch.
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+David Jordan No, If you look at the scales after the trial, the duck's side is much heavier than the witch's side. The scales were rigged
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Adler Weber Shared on Google+ · 4 months ago
You know what they say: "If she's a duck, she's a witch"
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is that from a show or something
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I knew she was a duck!!!
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So many people on here criticizing SPECIFIC groups of people or justice systems etc for still thinking this way, but what too few realize is that this same kind of paranoia and thinking a) really existed, and more importantly b) the REASON it existed is because it stemmed from humans. Humans which had brains. Brains that were all built and functioned the same way because they were all biologically the same and necessarily inherent to our species based on our DNA.   And if those inevitable traits and defaults were BUILT into the brains of ALL humans before...   We like to scoff and ridicule past generations and societies for their ludicrous practices and beliefs, but the only thing that has truly changed between our culture and theirs is external circumstance.  The masses default to clinically insane conclusions and beliefs that are detrimental to existence strictly to satisfy their own emotional needs on a CONSTANT basis; they are merely in regard to different topics than they were in the past. Hypocrisy and pure stupidity is everywhere you turn.   Every person is born with the same mind, the same biological organ, that has triggered so many waves of evil and malpractice in human history. And every person will FOREVER be a slave to those flaws unless they search out and accept those instincts within their own individual self, and unrelentingly work their entire lives to minimize and possibly erase those instincts.
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wait wait wait....I always thought he was saying "I'VE got better" after the newt thing. as in, he's got better examples he can give.  is he saying "I got better" as in he's not a newt anymore? if so, the way I thought it meant seemed much funnier to me.
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I find it sad that I have to frequently offer this video as a lesson to my good fellow citizens, when they suggest horrible tortures for anyone accused of a heinous crime in the news, on Facebook. That said, still hilarious.
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" sigh That's a fair cop." lol Those wacky Brit sayings make perfect punchlines.
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Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science??
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2015, People are still just as stupid around here
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cause they're made of.... wood?
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Oh god! I'm so sorry I didn't mean to get the films mixed up 😭
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+Bruce Attah yeah i know :D already seen it a few times ^^ +Castiel Fullbuster no problem mate
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WE GOT A HERETIC. -everyspehssmarineever
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The most hilarious thing about this entire movie is that it's barely a parody of the past, but almost closer to a documentary.  Our ancestors were some ignorant, dirty fools.
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Most fallacious reasoning ever.
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+phanpiggy You idiots realize it's just a joke right?
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What I don't get is how she weighed the same as a duck.
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Surprisingly good quality for a video that was uploaded in 2006.
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What makes this so funny (and also scary/disturbing) is that this isn't that far off from how they actually tried to determine who was a witch (namely the old "tie the witch up and throw her into a pond; if she floats, she's a witch; if she sinks - and often drowns - then oops, we goofed).
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Jesper Nerløe Shared on Google+ · 9 months ago
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"Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?"- Oh my god!!!hhahahahha
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The funny thing is, the head person said that rocks sink, then a minute later, an idiot peasant asks if a rock floats. Like, HOW DUMB ARE THEY!
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1:58   Eric Idle desperately trying not to crack up.
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0:16 "Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"
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This reminds me of Twitter
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she turned me into a newt! a newt? i got better...lol
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Am I the only one who noticed the peasant to the very left at 2:40 looking like he's about to tackle Arthur for guessing right before him? >.>
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cayden told me to watch this and its stupid :(
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E é assim que as pessoas são julgadas no Brasil....
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"Who are you,who are so wise in the ways of science?" hahaha!!
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I love that the scales were resting on log supports so they could not find out that the scale with the duck was significantly heavier unless they looked carefully afterwards 3:57
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what does she say after being weighed? i could never understand her
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But what if the witch is immune to fire?
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The christians in their highlight.
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Sorry guys...I just had to post this because everyone should have a little monty python on their lives
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WITCH!!!! burn her burn her
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She turned Me into a Newt!       I got better....
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Meanwhile during the 1600's in Salem, Massachusetts
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Hahaha awwww +Ewa Krawczyc you sooo funny....and I bet you are damn sexy..love polish accents. .I know I would certainly be burned also.. I'm on my 3rd black Cat. I adopted Luna our new black cat 4wks ago but 20yrs ago had 2 black Cats..I adore cats i had 4 at one point in my bijoux apartment. .They are amazing animals... )))))**
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Hehehe. .i love Cats and dogs and all animals .Even spiders;)
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3:37 BURN HER! I'm dying from that
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This still happens in Saudi Arabia and in some countries of Africa. You can be charged with sorcery/being a witch. Welcome to modern day 2014 people -_-
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Does not happen Saudi Arabia but to be honest some of the laws there are rather unfair.
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why do witches burn because they are made of wood ? Exactly
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She is a witch and I know it, cause I supplied the nose, and the hat, and the shoes, and the crowd....she is a witch.
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JF LEAL Shared on Google+ · 2 months ago
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What does she say at the end on the scales?
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I love month python and this scene might be my favorite. This and the black knight.
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Jesus floats on water so Jesus weighs the same as a duck --> Jesus is made of wood, and therefore, Jesus's a witch. Romans should have burn him.
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This movie is so awesome! I have watched it at school and me and my friend were the only ones who thought it was funny, with the teacher ofcourse :') 
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I just love how he says "A newt?!"
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Who is that magnificent looking witch?
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+David Emel Connie Booth, John Cleese's ex-wife :-)
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Saywhat Shared on Google+ · 3 months ago
Conservative Logic 101
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Found this while researching logical fallacies. Fucking hilarious. XD
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this week in the middle east, isis.
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Never noticed the guy tying the coconut to the bird before ><
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Lexi Chan Shared on Google+ · 3 months ago
So, let me get this straight...Witches are burned, but wood is also burned, and wood floats, but ducks also float, so, if someone weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood, therefore, she's a witch???? -_-
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''that's a fat duck''
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That's quite a drop Terry Jones took when he dismounted the dais.
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Wait, how do they know that duck isn't just a witch in disguise?
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Andrea McDavid "witches were mostly soldiers widows, left helpless and fun to sexually torture in dungeons, taking her home or land or tradesmans tools her husband left behind...the neural pathways for sex and violence are the same pathways in men...that's why porn is so violent and aggressive to women...sadistic torture was created by the church who sent men away for centuries to fight for the church and kings expansion of influence and wealth...women were just as much casualties of war as men except they weren't lauded as heros..." I'm sorry Andrea but this just isn't true (not the part about the abuse, that was true). The people who abused those women were sick people messed up by repressive religion and socialized to be misogynists. A- Not all men associate sex and violence. Wasn't the 19th Century- an era controlled by males- all about gentle and romantic depictions of sex? B- People can associate sex and violence (BDSM) without raping. Rape is about doing something agianst someone else's will and about using sex as a punishment. Rape can even be nonviolent. Violence and rape are two different things here. Normal people of both sexes do NOT find it "fun" to sexually torture others. C- those who do use sex as a weapon were caused to be that way by insane religious abuse and indoctrination or by thier own evil nature, not by being male (or black, or gay, or short, or freckled, or whatever) D- Using sex as a punishment is not a specific male behavior. Females can dominate and brutalize and engulf men just as men can pierce women. Neither is acceptable. Men sexually abuse women more than women sexually abuse men not because they like sex more (peopel who like sex don't use it to hurt others) but because men in patriarchal religions hate females. E- Just because studies have shown the brain pathways for sex and violence are the smae in some individuals does not mean it occurred naturally. Perhaps a pathway developed because of socialization. The biggest lie woman (and black, and gay) haters tell is that they cannot help thier prejudices and dangerous behaviours because they are "natural." Misogyny is where that type of mindset that men should use sex as a weapon against women comes from, not the "natural male mindset".
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I've often wondered who is dumber, the villagers or Bedevere for getting them to think she's made of wood & weighs the same as a duck...
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The villagers, they are both stupid and evil. Stupid because they cannot follow his logic and cannot tell the obvious problems with it. And evil because they dress an innocent woman up like a witch just so they can watch her burn for entertainment.
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That's not even a duck. It looks more like a goose to me (I'm sure that was intentional....)
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