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She's a witch!

by NM05 • 5,155,941 views

Monty Python and the Holy Grail... :D

So you know how to tell if someone is a witch...lol... for Marianna.
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The Internet Mob Justice in a nutshell.
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"I got better". 
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The American justice system in a nutshell.
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+Max Power Yeah, except I didn't see anywhere on the scales where you dump in the loads of money to "calibrate the scales" in your favor? That's a big detail missing in the story...probably a budget trimming necessity due to the Queen's "bite"? Or not.
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+Max Power I wouldn't agree with this. I think people just like to say they are apart of something worse in order to get attention. I think the main problem is juries. Plain and simple. A judge is able to look at a case and pick out the facts regardless of the feelings of one party or the other. A jury doesn't know how to do this. If someone appears to be "sad", Americans will be sympathetic leading to a massive influx. For the most part, though, our justice system is pretty good. The people who wrote the constitution weren't dumb, and they expected things to be unfair eventually, so to counteract that, they introduced checks and balances. (remembering you history terms now?)
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0:18 look its a swallow with a coconut xD
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It's a dove, or a white swallow that looks remarkably like a dove.
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So, let me get this straight...Witches are burned, but wood is also burned, and wood floats, but ducks also float, so, if someone weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood, therefore, she's a witch
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We have come a long way but we have a little further to go. The truth relating to conscious life has been revealed. Google Truth Contest and read the top entry.
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Well, at least she got a fair trial.
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+Jon Bilgutay lol with rigged scales?
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+Fawn No who said they were rigged?
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"who are you who are so wise in the ways of science"
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+blaha bla the how do we know ducks arent witches
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+Shane Gauughan ducks are ducks you silly goose! wait... if you are a goose then a witch is a duck but the duck is NOT a goose. Are witches geese?
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So if you weigh the same as a duck you're made of wood.  A duck weighs the same as a duck, so is a duck made out of wood?
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That would mean ducks are witches... Which means... WE MUST BURN DUCKS!
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"VERY SMALL ROCKS!!"
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Build a bridge out of her!
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As many times as I've seen this ... What's she say at the end? I never understand her.
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+Jordan Moore No, she says "It's a fair cop." If you look in a dictionary, you'll find that "to cop" means  "to catch". "It's a fair cop" is a British idiom equivalent to "You got me fair and square."
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I met John Cleese once, he was a very nice man
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E é assim que as pessoas são julgadas no Brasil....
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Was that not a goose she was being weighed with?
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+RJBoyceEsq So it was a painted wooden duck?
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That's a fair cop.  Can you imagine a real-life victim of a Witch hunt saying that?!
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Not all different from some truthers eh? 😝😭😛😂
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Ljubica Sabljak Shared on Google+ · 3 months ago
HRVATI I KLIMATSKE PROMJENE!
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DJ U.K Shared on Google+ · 2 months ago
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Ah a wise man I must try this with the mother in law, always thought she was a witch.
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SJWs in a nutshell... A CIS, WE'VE FOUND A CIS, WE'VE FOUND A CIS!! We've found a Cis, can we burn her? How do you know she's a Cis? She looks like one... Okay, I take that back... Tumblr in a nutshell...
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+Adski Corsika Males are usually accused of being cis.
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+Dhruv Chawla I know, but it's Tumblr so everyone needs to be edgy and different.
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Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science??
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2015, People are still just as stupid around here
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For someone facing the death penalty, the witch is remarkably calm!
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So many people on here criticizing SPECIFIC groups of people or justice systems etc for still thinking this way, but what too few realize is that this same kind of paranoia and thinking a) really existed, and more importantly b) the REASON it existed is because it stemmed from humans. Humans which had brains. Brains that were all built and functioned the same way because they were all biologically the same and necessarily inherent to our species based on our DNA.   And if those inevitable traits and defaults were BUILT into the brains of ALL humans before...   We like to scoff and ridicule past generations and societies for their ludicrous practices and beliefs, but the only thing that has truly changed between our culture and theirs is external circumstance.  The masses default to clinically insane conclusions and beliefs that are detrimental to existence strictly to satisfy their own emotional needs on a CONSTANT basis; they are merely in regard to different topics than they were in the past. Hypocrisy and pure stupidity is everywhere you turn.   Every person is born with the same mind, the same biological organ, that has triggered so many waves of evil and malpractice in human history. And every person will FOREVER be a slave to those flaws unless they search out and accept those instincts within their own individual self, and unrelentingly work their entire lives to minimize and possibly erase those instincts.
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She turned me into a newt! ...I got better XDXDXD I think I remember yugioh abridged using that joke! This film is a legend, it's like a comedic reservoir!
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What makes this so funny (and also scary/disturbing) is that this isn't that far off from how they actually tried to determine who was a witch (namely the old "tie the witch up and throw her into a pond; if she floats, she's a witch; if she sinks - and often drowns - then oops, we goofed).
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She is a witch and I know it, cause I supplied the nose, and the hat, and the shoes, and the crowd....she is a witch.
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That's probably pretty much exactly how it happened
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What I don't get is how she weighed the same as a duck.
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" sigh That's a fair cop." lol Those wacky Brit sayings make perfect punchlines.
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Here is the thing, ducks can be different weights, so the witch could be lighter, heavier or weigh the same
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Who are you so wise in the ways of science.
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+howard madnick But isn't wood also of different weights?
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"She turned me into a newt!"  "A newt?" "i got better.."  I love that. So much.
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The most hilarious thing about this entire movie is that it's barely a parody of the past, but almost closer to a documentary.  Our ancestors were some ignorant, dirty fools.
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3:37 BURN HER! I'm dying from that
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space god brought me here lol
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I find it sad that I have to frequently offer this video as a lesson to my good fellow citizens, when they suggest horrible tortures for anyone accused of a heinous crime in the news, on Facebook. That said, still hilarious.
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Sorry guys...I just had to post this because everyone should have a little monty python on their lives
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WITCH!!!! burn her burn her
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She turned Me into a Newt!       I got better....
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Something I really love about this, and which we usually overlook in our zeal at mocking the witch hunters, is that as absurd as the judge's logic is, the test that he sets up is one that no adult human would fail, unlike many real witch tests. (Bedivere may actually not be as dumb as we think. This would seem to be a good way of defusing this kind of situation). And yet this woman does fail the test: she does in fact weigh the same amount as a duck, and she also seems to accept the verdict as reasonable. This is so meta, because the joke's on us. She really is a witch.
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+David Jordan No, If you look at the scales after the trial, the duck's side is much heavier than the witch's side. The scales were rigged
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Hahaha awwww +Ewa Krawczyc you sooo funny....and I bet you are damn sexy..love polish accents. .I know I would certainly be burned also.. I'm on my 3rd black Cat. I adopted Luna our new black cat 4wks ago but 20yrs ago had 2 black Cats..I adore cats i had 4 at one point in my bijoux apartment. .They are amazing animals... )))))**
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Hehehe. .i love Cats and dogs and all animals .Even spiders;)
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Adler Weber Shared on Google+ · 5 months ago
You know what they say: "If she's a duck, she's a witch"
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is that from a show or something
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I knew she was a duck!!!
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minute 2:00, john cleese messes with the cast by taking longer than usual to answer the question. the other 2 have a hard time keeping a straight face. you can see eric idle biting his scythe to try to keep from cracking up.
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Jacek Malinowski Shared on Google+ · 2 months ago
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"How do you know she's a witch?" "Cause she looks like one!" Makes sense.
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(silence)... I got better...
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Surprisingly good quality for a video that was uploaded in 2006.
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what does she say after being weighed? i could never understand her
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What does she say at the end on the scales?
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+Jean-Paul Rimlinger "It's a fair cop!" What most people don't realize is that although the reasoning throughout the 'trial' seems flawed to us, the witch actually confesses at the end.
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she turned me into a newt! a newt? i got better...lol
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The funny thing is, the head person said that rocks sink, then a minute later, an idiot peasant asks if a rock floats. Like, HOW DUMB ARE THEY!
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cause they're made of.... wood?
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"Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?"- Oh my god!!!hhahahahha
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WE GOT A HERETIC. -everyspehssmarineever
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Am I the only one who noticed the peasant to the very left at 2:40 looking like he's about to tackle Arthur for guessing right before him? >.>
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cayden told me to watch this and its stupid :(
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wait wait wait....I always thought he was saying "I'VE got better" after the newt thing. as in, he's got better examples he can give.  is he saying "I got better" as in he's not a newt anymore? if so, the way I thought it meant seemed much funnier to me.
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1:58   Eric Idle desperately trying not to crack up.
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0:16 "Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"
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Never noticed the guy tying the coconut to the bird before ><
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"Who are you,who are so wise in the ways of science?" hahaha!!
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That's quite a drop Terry Jones took when he dismounted the dais.
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Meanwhile during the 1600's in Salem, Massachusetts
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Oh god! I'm so sorry I didn't mean to get the films mixed up 😭
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+Bruce Attah yeah i know :D already seen it a few times ^^ +Castiel Fullbuster no problem mate
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This movie is so awesome! I have watched it at school and me and my friend were the only ones who thought it was funny, with the teacher ofcourse :') 
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But what if the witch is immune to fire?
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This reminds me of Twitter
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Most fallacious reasoning ever.
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+phanpiggy You idiots realize it's just a joke right?
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Lexi Chan Shared on Google+ · 4 months ago
So, let me get this straight...Witches are burned, but wood is also burned, and wood floats, but ducks also float, so, if someone weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood, therefore, she's a witch???? -_-
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I love that the scales were resting on log supports so they could not find out that the scale with the duck was significantly heavier unless they looked carefully afterwards 3:57
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+King Dododo do dodo dodo dododo That may be so, but the witch did confess through the fourth wall at the end, and I don't really think she did so ironically.
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The christians in their highlight.
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Saywhat Shared on Google+ · 4 months ago
Conservative Logic 101
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That's not even a duck. It looks more like a goose to me (I'm sure that was intentional....)
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Wait, how do they know that duck isn't just a witch in disguise?
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