Upload

Patricia Evans on Verbal Abuse Part1

by PatriciaEvansBooks • 75,005 views

Verbal abuse is so much more than name calling. It is the hidden side of domestic violence. It is devestating to the to the people it targets. This video by Author Patricia Evans begins a...

Verbal abusive has always been in my life, and the person NEVER asked for forgiveness, this person is my dad. Can't wait to get out which is soon.
Report spam or abuse
I am empathetic to your situation. Prepare. Make active plans to secure your financial support. Go get skill sets (tools) that can make certain you support your dear precious self. It takes longing (which you have) , but ACTION is the other 50% of that equation. Just do it no matter what. Make that part happen. Freedom is just around the corner. I wish you the very best! Bear hug, sweetheart. Love thy SELF. :) hang in there.
Report spam or abuse
Chance Thomas Shared on Google+ · 5 months ago
Patricia defined what most of us didn't understand.  Now there is a word for part of what he was doing to me - Verbal Abuse among others
Report spam or abuse
Stuck in a verbally abusive relationship right now, and feel so broken. If only I had the money to get out
Report spam or abuse
Things have improved greatly, I feel very lucky
Report spam or abuse
Good for you..am so happy now I wish I had walked away years ago. Time make things much better.
Report spam or abuse
No a verbal abuser cannot change...
Report spam or abuse
It'll be two years on November 4 this year since I abandoned my verbally abusive father (I hold him responsible for all the major social problems I've ever experienced.)  I know that verbal abusers tell their victims how to think, feel, and act.  But even almost two years after having no contact with my abuser, each experience I have on a daily basis (reading a book, watching a dvd, going to work, browsing the internet, etc.) the first thought that is triggered in my mind is of him and how he's mocked me, humiliated me, and robbed me of my joy all my life with his jealousy.  I hope that I can find a way to beat these terrible memories.  Thank you for the video and your books, Patricia Evans.  
Report spam or abuse
She did a mind job on me for years and kept making me feel somthing was 'wrong' with me. She causes division,if i try to stand up to her, others will believe her b.s. and turn on me. Its hard to pin her down....
Report spam or abuse
you are lunatic, how dare you ell me i can't tell my wife a joke and when i do you call it verbal ABUSE!  who's abusive here, you for not letting people have fun or me for having fun with my wife?
Report spam or abuse
My mother is verbally abusive and many times talks about how so and so, is crazy or stupid or mentally ill, she also is all about being on top. Being right and putting down the competition.
Report spam or abuse
I'm a white male and my mother is very verbally abusive to me and I hate it. Plenty of evil women at there too, not just men.
Report spam or abuse
blahblahblah is all i heard and i'm suprised people lived through all that jibber jabber
Report spam or abuse
Does this count for males to? Sometimes I can't handle the pressure and I try to put this shield over myself, and I feel like I have to cut my emotions away just so the abuse won't feel that bad.
Report spam or abuse
Absolutely it counts for males. Anyone really! Verbal abuse can happen with anyone it's gender neutral! I'm so sorry you are going through this, I know what it's like to try to numb yourself in order to not feel the abuse it's hard.
Report spam or abuse
I don't disagree, but based on these definitions I have yet to meet a human person who is not sometimes verbally abusive.
Report spam or abuse
Please help me get away from my boyfriend's verbally and emotionally abusive family and back to my support system in Washington!  http://www.gofundme.com/dr752g
Report spam or abuse
My mother is extremely verbally abusive
Report spam or abuse
same here. she doesnt even make money, my dad isnt doing shit about it. I'm at the edge of killing myself, cause u'd go to jail if u attack the abuser, or if u keep letting it happen, then ur own life is scarred n ruined. I dont plan to stay there for long.
Report spam or abuse
+Kitty Lai Don't kill yourself-its not going to solve anything, leaving the problem is good-but really meditate on it so you can never encounter anyone like that. That has helped me.
Report spam or abuse
i live in a verbally abusive home... :'( my mom she treats me horribly im never god enough she tries to control everything i do. I need advice and help on how to deal with this ive been living with this my whole life but when i was younger my grandma sheltered me from it. i feel so lost and hopeless. the police wont help me neither will my social worker no one will. no one cares about me. :'( i just get told everyday on how im so horrible and how i do nothing. she even throws stuff at me like my stereo the phone. A chair pushes me against the corner calls me a baby for crying she even goes as far as grounding me for months and months on end she made me get home schooled and is trapping me in this house when i fight back i lose my life i end up with nothing she hits me send me to mental wards they said theres nothing wrong with me its her abuse thats killing me. I also think my mom has bipolor i talked wiht a doctor about it she also lived in an abusive situation but she let her anger get the best of her. Ive tried different strategies on calming it down but nothing works she feel threatened and yells and hits me in the face.ug... someone help me please :'(
Report spam or abuse
thanks helped me a lot I moved out and am stable now free of everything
Report spam or abuse
That is so good to hear keep it up dont look back and live in the now, dont let it hanut you. Anytime u need someone message me
Report spam or abuse
I think I'm going to look for your book. I am currently in a relationship and i can't take the abuse any longer.
Report spam or abuse
Have you ever been verbally abused yourself?
Report spam or abuse
ill admit this... i just got out of a relationship, and i guess you could say i was verbally abusing the girl i was with, i didnt plan it it just happened, the thing is tho she has emotional baggage from the past, and well being a nice guy like i am, i wanted to help her on this her past or what not, i even suggested antidepressents but she thought she wasnt depressed, which was bs! i googled symptoms of depression, and asked her one by one if she had this, she had em all
Report spam or abuse
Ode to Patricia Evans on youtube? We are really on the leading-edge to stopping barbarian ways of trying to control one another. Validating what our spirit is crying out when freedom is violated..You saved my spirit from oppression, you were with me working this century old problem with me. My religion, the pastor, my therapist, his family, my family, nursing-my career.. only made matters worst. The more we know the easier we forgive. Wholeheartedly I welcome noble efforts to expand happiness.
Report spam or abuse
Report spam or abuse
i am in a very similar situation, im still getting myself together to get out of it, need all the support i can get, love to share and support others too.
Report spam or abuse
this is really helpful. thank you for sharing with us.
Report spam or abuse
I had the archetypal good mother, a healthy childhood, and a healthy self-estee,. Despite this, I found myself in an emotional and verbally abusive relationship at the age of 44. It lasted for almost three years. I am still trying to figure that one out. I am strong again, and I am starting a vlog soon. It's intent is to heal women, not hurt men. I am just a regular person with a story, so please join me soon. I want to talk about a serious issue, but I also want to have fun and empower women.
Report spam or abuse
Hm, this is really peculiar: it's all aimed at ending abuse in men? I did a search for "verbal abuse" because me and my children are regularly abused verbally by a woman...
Report spam or abuse
Its a vicious circle!!!!!! making excuses for them and forgiving them all the time, giving in to them i am so angry right now
Report spam or abuse
Here's something we can all do to stop verbal abuse. Get a backbone and stand the fuck up for yourself. Really you can't play a victim with verbal abuse. Only you can let it affect you. If you're a weakling and don't defend yourself, you're not a victim because you're weak. And if you're NOT weak, you're not a victim because you are strong enough to defend your own honor.
Report spam or abuse
I'm one of those men who was able to -- finally -- recognize my verbally abusive and controlling behavior. Many months of therapy, an ultimatum by my wife, and the documentation my wife could provide my therapist and Patricia Evans' "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" led to my epiphany, and my life as a non-abusive, non-controlling individual is immeasurably better. CAVEAT: The abuser should be introduced to it only AFTER they see their abusivenss else they may use it against the partner.
Report spam or abuse
Report spam or abuse
Thanks Patricia, your books are life changing. I really appreciate your detail on this subject. Your depth of understanding inspired me to write a song ‘I want to live’ and I have now overcome much of the unhelpful self-criticism and Tourette’s-like intrusions after reading one of your books. I do finally have an amazingly nice, supportive relationship and that really helps as well. Part of me still thinks he isn't real, but I'll soon have that part of me integrated.
Report spam or abuse
I do find it odd that some abusers really like to pick on happy people. I get some of that myself.
Report spam or abuse
Does the abuser realise he/she is doing this?! & what's a good way to deal with this, without feeling like a punching bag? Thnx for uploading this :)
Report spam or abuse
During this vid im just,like yep, my mom does that...and that.....and that...etc.
Report spam or abuse
"You need everyone to agree with you and you get mad when things don't go your way- that's what you're really angry about- it;'s not anything I did!" ...anyone been told this before? Doesn't it just make you feel like you're just a simple arrogant childish person? Arrgh......and it just throws me off when this 'guy' says this to me , makes me loose my train of thought...and it's the ultimate put down.
Report spam or abuse
I'm starting to read your book about controlling people. You say there "beside themselves" but what if they say your worthless?? That seems very intentional to me
Report spam or abuse
I guess that if I had to ask Patricia a question it would be, does someone have to leave the verbally abusive relationship for the abuse to come to an end or is it possible to redirect the marriage. I have 3 kids and I'm a stay at home mom/student. I couldn't imagine trying to leave, or trying to claim abuse when there are no physical scars to show why I wouldn't want my husband to access me or the kids. I'd rather just work on things.
Report spam or abuse
Please read your own books! I can see in your video that you define so many people!
Report spam or abuse
Wow. I wish you could talk to my parents. I'm 18 and I don't think I should be this vulernable. They say they love me sometimes but they treat me with hate. My dad use to tell me when I was little that exact phrase: stop crying or I'll give you something real to cry about! It was scary all I wanted was comfort I was five years old but can still remember. Today my mom said I'm always mad and that she can't be around me for five minutes without me trying to start a right which wasn't my intention
Report spam or abuse
been verbally abused my several family members.now that i'm a adult i pretty much have nothing to do with most of my family members.it was done mostly by my mom,dad,sister,brother and a aunt.
Report spam or abuse
Report spam or abuse
wow this is my husband exactly i have never been in this situation before cun$%,bitch, fuc5432 =ng whore....
Report spam or abuse
I know what it is like to be in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship. I feel like I live with a school bully. Leaving isn't what I want to do. I am hoping for a way to move our relationship out of the unhealthy zone and into health.
Report spam or abuse
I wish that the people who made comments were more educated and compassionate instead of ignorant morons who make simpleminded, base insults. I have lived through a verbally abusive relationship and I came to this video to assist in rebuilding my life. Patricia Evans is spot-on in her insights.
Report spam or abuse
Hmm sounds like my mom "you like to blame people" "you're making fun of me" no I was just asking a question... "no you're not." Ive told her not to do this, and she says "don't try to control what I say" I feel so disconnected from myself and it hurts.
Report spam or abuse
shes said shes never seen a woman change personally :)
Report spam or abuse
You need to leave him now unless he is willing to get individual and couples counseling. Making excuses for my ex to myself, friends, and family was exhausting. I was so busy trying to deny anything was wrong that I slipped into the deepest depression of my life. So please don't wait. If he can't admit he has a problem then you are wasting precious moment of your life. Good luck and God Bless. I said a prayer for you.
Report spam or abuse
Even the worst, scariest, most challenging parts of life are per se easier if the abuse is gone. Think about it. Go got it!
Report spam or abuse
I owned everyone of your books and he threw them away. He won't admit it,but they are all missing from my library...grrrr!
Report spam or abuse
Some people truly can't take jokes. It's a fact. If it really upsets them, don't do it again. Judge the situation. Otherwise, you are correct. Curtis is a cruel master. He needs to go away for help. Very sick.
Report spam or abuse
I wouldnt let my bf see these books, they are my secrets
Report spam or abuse
I walked out 7 years ago thanks to reading Patricia Evans' book, it gave me the courage to do it, but all these years later, I still feel pain, like why did it happen to me, if only I were stronger I never would have let it happen, if only I did things this way or that way. I know he's a sick man, I know he perceives the world in reality #1, I am so clear on that, but still deep in my heart, he left permanent scars that I can't erase, not even with all the therapy I've been through
Report spam or abuse
If i went to the police and told them my father called me a fucking cunt would they take me seriously?
Report spam or abuse
Report spam or abuse
Report spam or abuse
It occurs alot in the wortplace, too. I am literally mobbed with it at the job. When I tri to tell them to stop i am being insubordinate and not obeying the slavedriver
Report spam or abuse
I was in a recent marriage where I was the victim of verbal and emotional abuse. No one I talked to about it cared to hear me out and I believe it is because I am a man. This marriage lasted only a year and a half, to a woman who used ABUSE against me, and insisted I was an abusive person. She works for a women's violence and resource center at her university and threatened me that she had the people to back her up to defend herself. Not before telling me I will never amount to anything.
Report spam or abuse
Firstly, people shouldn't assume men are bad from this video. They should see that "abusers" are bad. If they figures that they have are (just as an example) 90% abused women to 10% abused men, they will obviously call this a female based abuse, however, I have seen a couple female abusers in my lifetime and it is just about as bad. People have to start telling people about their abuse so all of us can see that it isn't just female being abused.
Report spam or abuse
I was just reading your book "verbal abuse survivors speak out". i think its kinda cool that i randomly came across you on youtube as well...
Report spam or abuse
Report spam or abuse
EXCELLENT!!!! Thank you Patricia for being a voice for us!!!! the more people learn about verbal abuse, the hidden epidemic that has no outward wounds, but the inward wounds if they could be seen would be horrifying to the human eye, the more victims of it could get help and be understood! I...t has been said to be more traumatizing then being physically abused. Please spread the word and save a victim!
Report spam or abuse
cut these toxic people out of your life, don't accept an apology from someone who has proven they are not remorseful, let them correct their behaviour with the next victim, waste not your precious time
Report spam or abuse
@gingergiblet well ive been emotionally abused by my mum since i was about, well since i can remember, so i don't think it's confined to males in relationships, there's no need to be rude about women :/
Report spam or abuse
I have found her material extremely helpful. MEVAC is a support group helping men end verbal abuse and control. I believe her ideas about defining someone's inner word is a profound idea. Simply watching the news and talking heads shows how prevalent verbal abuse and control is.
Report spam or abuse
What about a teacher who is verbally abusive, how do you handle that as a parent for their child and themselves?
Report spam or abuse
at least hes easier to push out of your life, dont let ANYONE put you down, ever again, you've obviously been through enough, btw you are beautiful, just stay strong xx
Report spam or abuse
@BlackandBluekite : I suggest watching the video before criticizing its claims. You haven't even watched it! How do you know this?
Report spam or abuse
She probably needed a bit of space to work it out for herself
Report spam or abuse
what if everyone sees the dark side of the person but doesn do nothing for the pray at hand ? can you tell verbal abuse ?
Report spam or abuse
@theworldinnit That's different, you didn't choose your mom, whereas women choose there men.
Report spam or abuse
you got your head on your shoulders! its a good thing im sorry about your mum, same here
Report spam or abuse
I absolutely love your book! You are helping me so much. I'm glad Jesus is using your words to supplement what the Bible also confirms about listening to manipulative people. The only relationship I had was something I thought would go smoothly because he was a good acquaintance for two years. Now I know what to recognize, identify, and not tolerate. Love your book! I know you wrote four...I have the "How to Recognize It and How to Respond" 3rd edition
Report spam or abuse
My parents are verbally abuseave
Report spam or abuse
Verbal abuse comes from both men and women.....in either case, it's harmful and destructive.
Report spam or abuse
She would acknowledge that if more abused men came forward. It's hard to know the true numbers if no men go seek help about it. I'm in an emotionally and verbally abusive marriage and I have an audio recording of it on my channel. I happen to be a woman, but this can and does happen to men, we just can't calculate because the women coming forward far outnumber the men.
Report spam or abuse
I don't a relationship again. Just to be free and able to what I want, and say what I want is freedom. I am sick of being told that I have done something wrong, or said something wrong or made a mistake .. again!
Report spam or abuse
agreed, both men and women, they're a certain dominating type
Report spam or abuse
@gingergiblet Frankly, I don't know if you're angry cause women cry foul all the time or that you don't believe that there is such a thing as abuse. Or maybe you're trying to justify abusive behavior for all the supposed things that men have done; for example, I saved you so that I get to rape you, or I helped you out that one time and now I get to bit the living shit out of you, like you're holier than thou. Men definitely should be supported more, but abuse is not ok on either side.
Report spam or abuse
Some of these people who are verbal abusers are religious, my boyfriend is very religious
Report spam or abuse
I get verbally abused by my parents. Mostly dad. Hes grabbed my shoulders and pushed me back really hard before. Its like everydays the same.. He doesnt trust me. I always end up being in my room, crying the pain away.
Report spam or abuse
I was verbally abused at school, at college, at work, and I have one boyfriend who occasionally has a temper tantrum. All these abusers say it is my fault - I am stupid, I wasn't listening, I should have known, you have been told before......I have had to walk way, but now the abuser is copying me and walking away, so we cannot communicate!
Report spam or abuse
I watched this video to learn and understand the abuse I suffered from my WIFE. The information is good but this woman clearly has a bias against men. NEWSFLASH FOR PATRICIA EVANS: WOMAN ARE ABUSIVE TOO!!!!!! Some balance would increase your credibility tenfold!!
Report spam or abuse
Ummm.... How would I have my parents read that I'm so sure! Hey you treat me like I'm worthless shit and make me want to jump off a bridge and here's why.
Report spam or abuse
i guess i am not verbally abusive after all, i just get pissed :p i never did any of this stuff thats in this video, putting people down and calling them names isnt good.... does crazy count as verbal abuse tho? im guilty of that one
Report spam or abuse
I have read both, two of the best books I have read
Report spam or abuse
What if I'm 58 years old,and this has gone on for 17 years.I'm feeling like I can't start over but I can't put any more of the stress on my health because I'malready on high blood pressure pills.My husband never uplifts me and puts me down because he says it my fault,or I can't take a joke then when he gets scary he walks out with smile on his face,and that's just another part of my emotions being torn apart.He must think it's funny to that fear.I can't see that as being a marriage at all.
Report spam or abuse
I got 20 seconds into the video before I decided to turn it off and comment. Verbal abuse is so purposely ambiguous. You're reasoning for what defines verbal abuse is the most illogical thing I have ever heard. ANYTHING negative is verbal abuse. You would do yourself a lot better to call yourself sexist. PS: I love how its men who do the verbal abusing and its men that need to change. Please don't reproduce
Report spam or abuse
but she slapped my helping hand away, what guy wants to watch his gf in misery? think you could keep it cool? it be interesting to see ill admit it pissed me off, but i learned a few things from this relationship! i learnt this: men do not commit very quickly its not there faults, they are just making sure you are worth it, and im not gonna commit again till i know they are sound minded and with no emotional bs hanging on there shoulders, and i yelled and screamed, but i was trying to help!
Report spam or abuse
Patricia Evans books have helped me so much and gave much needed validation. Thanks for this video.
Report spam or abuse
hanqin81 wait, do you remember something beautiful, pleasant, sweet, at ease? look at your own heart, look at the sky at night, the source of all that is real adores you, the reality is that just because we went thru an obscure tunnel well-being is not real..that because we tasted consciousness killers our consciosness has not expanded,,,to find bliss we have to start were bliss is not...sometimes it is a way to love the shadow self...we need you and love you here to brake false premises..
Report spam or abuse
sounds like narcissistic behavior - also see pathological personality traits...
Report spam or abuse
Every single thing you said in this video profiling a verbal abuser fits my dad exactly
Report spam or abuse
and the verbally abusive woman, can she change?
Report spam or abuse
I appreciate the works of Ms. Evans. They helped me recognize I was in a verbally abusive relationship....with a woman. Thus, I wish this video would not use male references to the abuser, because there are some majorly mean witches out there who are grandmasters at screwing with your mind and putting you down.
Report spam or abuse
There is either parity between the genders (domestic violence etc) or men are the majority of victims in most other cases of violence or abuse except for rape, and that's only if you take out prison rape, in which case there is more men raped. Just sayin'
Report spam or abuse
Her book was the biggest AHA moment! This has been going on since time immemorial...and needs to be changed. Her book is great and helped me to realize and remove myself from a very abusive relationship. Thank you Patricia. Blessings
Report spam or abuse
My best friend is verbally abusing me. And he doesn't even notice. I already went through sexual, verbal, and physical abuse with my dad, step dad and ex-boyfriend
Report spam or abuse
Is there a chance you can find another house/bedsit, just so that you have some space
Report spam or abuse
Patricia Evans books are a must read for identifying and understanding psychological abuse and some of the best strategies for responding to abuse of any kind - at home or the workplace
Report spam or abuse
Report spam or abuse
Show more Loading...
Sign in to add this to Watch Later

Add to