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Top 10 Chuck Norris Moments

by WatchMojo.com • 5,139,662 views

When he does a pushup, he doesn't lift himself, he pushes the world down. Join http://www.WatchMojo.com as we count off our Top 10 favorite Chuck Norris Moments.

WatchMojo.com Shared on Google+ · 1 year ago
Happy 74th Birthday, #ChuckNorris! Check out our Top 10 Chuck Norris Moments in this video. You know you want to! ;)
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+WatchMojo.com You mean 740th birthday surely? Chuck Norris is immortal.
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Using nothing but a hammer, 3 toothpicks, and a lunch box, Chuck Norris got my Commodore 64 to run Crysis 3 at max settings while acting as a proxy server for Microsoft's US offices.  
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+Mr.Boss he even makes MacGyver jealous lol
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You failed to mention the the only items that when't snacks where you and the commodore 64.
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Chuck Norris threw a grenade, killed 200 people, and then the grenade exploded.
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+Chuck Norris Chuck! Tank god you're here. i have been running scared for 3 days afraid my comment would be interpreted as an insult to Walker County, comparing it to a black hole. my purpose was just the opposite. it's an insult to compare a black hole to Walker County. Black holes are the most powerful things in the known universe, but they are kittens compared to places named after thy characters. i have come to grips with my errors, repented, and am ready to die. Thank you for the opportunity
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Top 10 Chuck Norris Jokes Facts 1) According to Einstein's Theory of Relativity, Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you... Yesterday 2) Chuck Norris has counted to infinity... Twice 3) Chuck Norris is the first Westerner to achieve the 8th degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do (No, seriously look it up) 4) Chuck and Superman once fought each other as a contest. The looser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside 5) Chuck Norris once played rock, paper, scissors in front of a mirror... and WON 6) Fear of spiders is Arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is Claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic 7) Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants 8) Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life 9) If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win, Forever 10) Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding 11) Chuck Norris made this Top 10 list have 11 facts
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# 5 is killing me. LOL hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha hahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahaha
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Chuck Norris sucks. If he is so legendary, he would be behind me smashing my face on my keyboaoerasdhvaljsvnajshgaurhfiaushgueruytpasyfuvxcjfhbopsaygasopdfu[apsdgasfupoiaurssys  u doaghsflvnasirghasohvajsnalrsghasuvabpussy asvhajkfgaritasuiyvajsfasroisuavuav uy aw898wf9pbitchasdvaklcbavbargashvasfhgpastorypenissahvbakb agvaurasugrauyrsugasyvaginashalkcsnvirhgihasgh.
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greatest comment I've ever seen
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The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about Chuck Norris.   Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.   Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.   Chuck Norris counted to infinity... Twice.   If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.   Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker the second Wednesday of every month.   When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.   Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.   Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.   They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.   A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this mans blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.   Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.   There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.   The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.   The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.   Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.   Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.   Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.   The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.   Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.   Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.   If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.   When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.   The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.   Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.   Chuck Norris can win a game of chess in only one move... a roundhouse kick to the face.   There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.   Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 55 minutes having sex with his waitress.   What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.   There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.   Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.   Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.   Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.   A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.   If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.   Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."   Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.   The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.   Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"   Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.   Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.   Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.   Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.   Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.   Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.   Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.   Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and scream.   Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.   Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.   The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn
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 EVERYONE RIGHT NOW TRY THIS IT ONLY TAKES 2 MINS go on google type in 'find chuck norris' BUT DONT CLICK SEARCH YET click 'I feel lucky' and just read... LOL its halirous
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old google joke. there are tons of google secret jokes. even one that allows you to play 'snake' while watch youtube video.
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After you do it, run for your life.
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+Chuck Norris My god. Wild Chuck Appeared. Every other pokemon dies.
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The reason Bruce Lee defeated Chuck Norris, he lets himself be defeated knowing Lee's time is up.
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Chuck Norris only allow PewDiePie to live because Chuck Norris doesn't hit girls
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+TheSpaceJockey91 If you dont like him then i suggest you stop saying his name in comments as to not spread his name about even further. I dont really like his videos, but he seems like a genuinely nice, humble guy, specialy when compared to literally all of the other young celebrities. No need to dislike someone just because they are more successful than you
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As a child chuck norris had three pets. A Monkey, a Gecko and a Goldfish. He gives them a bit of his blood. Today the pets are known as King Kong, Godzilla and the white Shark...
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Chuck norris once trough a grenade znd killed 30 people then it exploded
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Chuck Norris doesn't use Viagra, Viagra uses Chuck Norris! 
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+Andy Smith Chuck Norris was generous enough to bring you back to life and erase your memory of the situation.
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What's so amazing about the Great Chuck Norris? I can just take out my 6-shooter, pull the trigger, and bam. No more Mr. Norris. :P
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+Emmanuel Andrade You cant say "Great" Chuck Noris cuse the name chuck Noris already passes the scale of adjectives ._.
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bruce lee is better chuck norris uses a gun 
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Chuck norris an over rated piece of shit fuck him john cena can kick this guys ass all hell john cena chuck norris IS OLD HE CANT WIN HE SUCKSS BRUCE LEE FOR LIFE!!!
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Chuck Norris can play golf and get a hole-in-zero.
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WHY DOESN'T CHUCK RUN FOR PRESIDENT?    HE WOULD PROBABLY WIN
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Chuck Norris Kicked a horse on the chin once.....That was the day he created the giraffe
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The big bang was Chuck Norris Spin Kicking God.
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Why are there more Chuck Norris Jokes than Bruce Lee? Because Bruce Lee is no Joke.
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Plot Twist: Chuck Norris is actually terminators father
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Chuck Norris Kicked a horse on the chin once.....The decendents are now Giraffes
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Chuck Norris isn't so great if he's so much of a badass he would come and slam my face into the keyboard.............see nothing happened
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He, who lives by the sword dies by sword. He, who lives by Chuck Norris dies by the Roundhouse kick.
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Well in Bollywood u would see plenty of Chuck Norris in fact every indian actor is Chuck Norris 😄😄😄😄
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In 1970, as a teenager, Chuck Norris hit his first baseball...and Apollo XIII reported: "Houston, we got a problem!"
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The Bazooka moment wasn't number 1! But that is my favorite Chuck Norris move!
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When Chuck Norris crosses a street, the CARS look both ways.
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But Jesus never broke anyone's nose. Your inaccuracies disgrace both Christ and Chuck, who admittedly comes nowhere near Christ.
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Really!? Not ONE Delta Force clip!? Just the theme song!?
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I just don't get the big deal over Chuck Norris. I seriously don't..............
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To be honest, I don't know how he got so famous. I don't know what made him huge. I don't know why people are so obsessive over him. But I do know he's one hell of a man. He has a wonderful family life, he has peace in faith, he's a great role model, he's very healthy and he was one of the best martial artist and actors to boot. He's not a god among men but he is a great person if not one of the best examples of what a person can aspire to be.
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The dollar symbol is actually Chuck Norris's signature.
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Go get a BIble and find to Jesus Christ, the truth, the way and the only way: "Then Jesus said to him, Get thee hence, satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.
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Chuck Norris is a joke!  If he is really that great he would appear behind me and slam my face onto my keyboarlkjwrionv fioshnhiuqoi9043 u5r0847589yrjskfnkioewjfoih
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actually it's You that failed
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Chuck Norris is not THAT badass, I mean if he really is a god he'd come to my house right now and bang my head on the keyboaffthfzetgccvhfyifktudirtrtifkifyriyftktriktiteryouroyriritrirtiifoutt6oryiiryryitoyeiyfoyirytoiytpupt7uot
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i dont know but is amazing how badass chuck is 
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and i langh so hard i farted
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You can just tell by the dude in the videos voice hes a virgin
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Chuck Norris was bitten by a shark, After 3 months of trauma and pain... The shark finally died.
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This video is too damn funny...lololololololol..XD
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Spongebob cooks underwater,and chuck norris?
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Taught spongebob how to cook underwater.
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Me and my brother use to watch chuck kick ass all over the map. Best days of my life. Pizza taste better when chuck Norris kicks a badguys head off too.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
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Happy Birthday Chuck Norris !!
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What is the name of the song in the background? Plizz answer, the song is so cool!!!!
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I don't know the name of the song but it is from the delta force movie
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That's a Mac 10 or 11 not a uzi
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You know why there are so many memes about chuck Norris and none for Bruce Lee. Because Bruce Lee isn't a joke
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When he went to Africa, Chuck Norris didn't get Ebola. Ebola got Chuck Norris.
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Well Bruce Lee fked him up.
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Chuck Norris, the result of giving a ginger a soul.
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two words...."CHUCK NORRIS" and the world and the universe wuz created!!
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That's A,  Man! Man!..
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2:59. Worst fake blood...ever
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Lone Wolf McQuade is his best role...........so far.
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We need Chuck Norris start to patrol the street of London...
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Stupid question but who would win in a shoot out? Chuck Norris or Trevor Phillips?
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Typical ugly white bullshit
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Happy Birthday to fellow Air Force security Forces member, tough s.o.b and all around good guy. You turn 75 today. I hope I look half as good as you do when I hit that age. Merica!
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When a zombie bites Chuck Norris he doesn't become a zombie, the zombie becomes him
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Chuck's urine is used as an energy drink we know as red bull.
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That was funny...but how is putting a rat in a bag, putting Chuck's head in the bag, hanging him upside down, and Chuck emerging with a dead rat in his teeth NOT in the top ten????!!!!
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The internet is going to blow up the day Chuck Norris dies.
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Chuck Norris doesn't eat cereal for breakfast, He eats NAILS for breakfast!
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He goes to Home Depot when he wants a snack!
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Regular people use wooden hammers to crack seafood shels. Chuck Norris uses the Mjolnir.
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3:21- 3:26 lol. also you missed the part when he's hanging upside down and bites a rat
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chuck norris birthday is today. i guess he allowed me to live another year.
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Once Chuck Norris had sex inside a semi-truck, 9 months later Optimus Prime was born.
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Chuck Norris has a statue of Madame Tussauds at his house..
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I looked carefully at a crucifix, and I saw Chuck Norris face - CHUCK SAVES!!!!!
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Bigfoot has a grainy video of chuck Norris
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if 10000 picachus electic bolted Chuck Norris the Chuck Norris wont die instead the picachus will die because when the picachus will electic shock Chuck Norris then will send em back to the picachus and then nurse joy (from pokemon) investigate and then later find out that the 10000 picachus due their own electic shock powers unbelieveable right.
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+123mew2 Chuck Norris had a dog. Its name was Arceus.
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+Babu Islam nama ente babu, pembokat apa gimana?
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Chick Norris dosnt masturbate at porn he masturbates at explosions
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If chuck I that brave why don't he fight.wait who's there
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Chuck Norris touched me.
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I don't understand this hype about Chuck Norris. If he is oh so powerful and magical, why doesn't he just magically appear in my house, sneak up behind me, and smash my head into my keyboarnhhhsihbsygghsjkknshbygjskn7726873638nuhubeuhnsnjiuh.,,.dmieoeke//;;;;83736/7829999888:88;8;8kjusjeoo
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ROFLMAO but Chuck doesn't hit women!
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chuck norris is so UGLY that he scares away a ghost. 
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+Mgaming Leeltime The guy who wrote this is dead now..
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My initials are ASN, my last Mame is Norris. We aren't related, he just blessed us, and no, I'm not joking.
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If chuck norris is so awesome why dosent he come here and smash my head on my tablet an if he pushed the world down the he'd have interupted the solar orbit
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Chuck norris turned into a gay boxer and had sex with a guy
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4:19....chuck norris still blazes it
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Chuck Norris sucks. You are all idiots.
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Obvious trolls are obvious
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GO CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
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hate how people worship Chuck Norris like a god. I mean come one people if he was so great he would magically appear in my house and slam my face on the keyboardjfg89r5utrhut58yutry5uy9trhguiofjgioy85yt75yt988yu58tyy75tyiuerhgiutyy4tyugr
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Haha the video is 4:20 long
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I'm the fucking best.
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Chuck Norris kicked a pebble, and it hit the ground and killed the dinosaurs.
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iim drunk as fuck hi chuk norris
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Some say when chuck goes out for milk, he goes to the nearest farm picks the biggest cow and bench presses it while sucking the milk straight from the tit...
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why is chuck norris so special?
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+Stocky 'Super' Comdt At 74 years of age, the guy still backpacks about 300 miles per year through the Appalachians for sport. Not many people of any age can do that. He's the genuine article. I'd be cautious about challenging him face to face.
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