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Top 10 Chuck Norris Moments

by WatchMojo.com • 5,302,231 views

When he does a pushup, he doesn't lift himself, he pushes the world down. Join http://www.WatchMojo.com as we count off our Top 10 favorite Chuck Norris Moments.

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WatchMojo.com Shared on Google+ · 1 year ago
Happy 74th Birthday, #ChuckNorris! Check out our Top 10 Chuck Norris Moments in this video. You know you want to! ;)
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I refuse to believe that Chuck Norris is some sort of God, he is just an actor. If he is some sort of superhuman, than may he break into my house right now and slam my face into the keys&/":8?82!/'lxlckjjsmskkjbabdkfichwbsnfldlshcbevbsnsxjxhvbnsnxjcubqbsjz
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When Chuck Norris walks in front of a mirror it breaks because even a mirror isn't dumb enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris threw a grenade, killed 200 people, and then the grenade exploded.
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(Better read like this) chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 200 people. Then it exploded.
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Top 10 Chuck Norris Jokes Facts 1) According to Einstein's Theory of Relativity, Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you... Yesterday 2) Chuck Norris has counted to infinity... Twice 3) Chuck Norris is the first Westerner to achieve the 8th degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do (No, seriously look it up) 4) Chuck and Superman once fought each other as a contest. The looser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside 5) Chuck Norris once played rock, paper, scissors in front of a mirror... and WON 6) Fear of spiders is Arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is Claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic 7) Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants 8) Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life 9) If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win, Forever 10) Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding 11) Chuck Norris made this Top 10 list have 11 facts
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YES! Walker Texas Ranger is on the first place! For me, Chuck Norris is Walker, the Texas Ranger, the most bad-ass martial artist/cop/ranger/character ever!
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Chuck Norris only allow PewDiePie to live because Chuck Norris doesn't hit girls
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+chunkycake101 /watch?v=gZysJJbtd0I Dude forgets to mentions PewDiePie's artificial voice.
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Why are there more Chuck Norris Jokes than Bruce Lee? Because Bruce Lee is no Joke.
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Chuck Norris threw a grenade, killed 200 people and then it exploded
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Chuck Norris was born May 6th, 1945. Nazi Germany surrenderd May 7th, 1945... coincidence or bad ass straight outta the womb?
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Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
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Chuck Norris is a joke!  If he is really that great he would appear behind me and slam my face onto my keyboarlkjwrionv fioshnhiuqoi9043 u5r0847589yrjskfnkioewjfoih
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Chuck Norris doesn't use Viagra, Viagra uses Chuck Norris! 
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+Andy Smith Chuck Norris was generous enough to bring you back to life and erase your memory of the situation.
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Chuck Norris can beat Five Nights At Freddy on 20/20/20 and still have 100% power!
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The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about Chuck Norris.   Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.   Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.   Chuck Norris counted to infinity... Twice.   If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.   Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker the second Wednesday of every month.   When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.   Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.   Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.   They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.   A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this mans blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.   Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.   There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.   The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.   The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.   Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.   Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.   Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.   The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.   Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.   Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.   If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.   When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.   The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.   Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.   Chuck Norris can win a game of chess in only one move... a roundhouse kick to the face.   There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.   Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 55 minutes having sex with his waitress.   What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.   There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.   Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.   Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.   Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.   A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.   If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.   Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."   Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.   The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.   Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"   Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.   Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.   Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.   Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.   Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.   Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.   Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.   Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and scream.   Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.   Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.   The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn
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Spongebob cooks underwater,and chuck norris?
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Taught spongebob how to cook underwater.
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+Bruno Petovar When you put a sponge in water, the sponge gets wet. When you put Chuck Norris in water, the water gets Chuck Norrised
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A CHUCK-NORRISSSSSS!!!!
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cthulhu vs chuck norris
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Chuck Norris once stared at Clark Kent. It is now known as The Death of Superman.
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if chuck norrris is so amazing i want him to teleport into my room and and smahs my face into my keybouhwjg<fc<jhbcdgbdjha<bfjl
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rambo+hulk+batman+spiderman+arnoldschwarzenegger=chuck norris
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CHUCK NORRIS IST BEST JAAAAAAA
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2010 people afraid of chuck norris
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CHUCK NORRIS IST BEST JAAAAAAA
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1:16 wherever chuck norris shot his gun, anyone in radius 10km will die XD #chuckNorrisStyle
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lol chuck Norris only lost to lee cause of his chest hair true fact
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Hercules was no myth Chuck Norris is Herk reincarnate.
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Chuck Norris can make a stick by rubbing two fires together.
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Chuck Norris does not have super powers! If he does have super powers then I dare him to come into my room and smash my face on my key boarkakwmemdksnwmsmsmmscjjdkhbsdihbcihbdsvbihsbyifhbkdsvhbcihbacdihuacbihaebihbda
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Who is Chuck Norris????? never heard of him.
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he should fight with ranjinikath :v
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I hate how people keep saying that Chuck Norris has super-human powers. if he does i want him to magically teleport into my house. walk right behind me. and shove my head into me key boar8uvhubhnj inmuhinyh fcnw hufywh
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Chuck Norris may be a God, but there is one being he prays to every night: the Duke.
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Actually Chuck Norris would look Turkish if he dyed his hair black. He has somewhat Turkish looks lol.
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lol Mike Huckabee.  wtf Chuck.. wtf...
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FYI the Uzi was a Mac10 not an Uzi
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Chuck Norris once came twice.
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+MarioMario786 That's why i ask. I see 2 jokes, but which one did you mean?
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You've got shit on your shoes you shitty shoe bastrd
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Chuck Norris cures cancer !
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Lightning doesn't strike chuck norris chuck norris strikes lighting
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chuck norris compete with the light in speed, the light stops......
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I see the bearded ninja! Starting on the hill! His name is chuck Norris! And its me hes trying to kill. Chuck nooooorris round hooouse kiiiick.
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Chuck Norris is a religious and conservative dumbass. Stop worshiping this guy for his day time television bullshit.
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Chuck norris an over rated piece of shit fuck him john cena can kick this guys ass all hell john cena chuck norris IS OLD HE CANT WIN HE SUCKSS BRUCE LEE FOR LIFE!!!
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Chuck Norris killed two stones with one bird
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Bitch please Goku is stronger than that guy and can kill him with only his little finger. He isn't that amazing....Goku is better!
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Pfft. When chuck Norris first saw Dragon ball Z he thought it was a series of beginner workout videos.
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That fight he had with Joe Piscapo in Sidekicks is really funny.
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What's so amazing about the Great Chuck Norris? I can just take out my 6-shooter, pull the trigger, and bam. No more Mr. Norris. :P
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+Emmanuel Andrade You cant say "Great" Chuck Noris cuse the name chuck Noris already passes the scale of adjectives ._.
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chuck norris got stapped by a knife.after 2 week of agonizing pain the knife died..
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at 2:30 you mention that he apparantly defies the laws of physics. I guess that Travis Pastrana, who did the no parachute jump stunt in real life, also can defy the laws of physics. And the many people who followed in his footsteps. (watch?v=lDBrdl2sZWs)
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Chuck Norris doesn't puke. Puke chuck norrise's.
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love that "bullet spitting chunk of the 2nd amendmen"
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wtf, just noticed chuck norris looks like 3kliksphilip.
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Nokia is more better than chuck norris
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2:57, this was actually a family movie starring Chuck Norris
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Bruce Lee kicked his Ass.
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it look smore like a mac than uzi
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When you have watched this video you probably realize that I am manliest man on the earth.
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Wait a minute Chuck Norris his hair.... it's..... CHUCK NORRIS IS A GINGER ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED!
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This is a friendly message on behalf of Christie
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When Chuck Norris cloned and battled himself the fight didn't end up in a draw: he beat both of them.
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Background music if you listen closely is from Delta Force
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Chuck Norris likes his coffee black... no milk, no sugar and no water
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after Alexander Graham Bell invented telephone, he got 3 misscalled, 2 sms text, and 15 emails from Chuck Norris.
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When zombies bites he doesn't turn the zombie turns human
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i still don't get it most rocket launchers including the one chuck had would not explode from point blank range it would just go strait through the guy you shot
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ummm there is only 1 bazooka all rocket launchers are not bazookas that was a law and yes it hast to spin so fast or something like that before it can explode 
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+Landon Haga Right, its a M72 Rocketlauncher, it launches rocketpropelled hollowcharges. At first glance, i mistook it a M10 Bazooka, but this one is way longer. But still, i think you don't know how exactly that thing works, let me give you a brief explanation: The hollowcharge's explosives is activated by impact, and the hollowcharge's explosion melts and propells the coppercone to a thin stream of molten copper. While the molten copper is able to penetrate very thick layers of steel (Which makes it a very effective and light anti-tank weapon) the explosion causes a deadly shockwave and debris, making it also effective against soft targets like human. Even if the Hollowcharge got a safety machanism that will not activate the fuse on the tip of the projectile to activate before a certain amount of flighttime is over, the light rocket is going to be way too slow to penetrate a human body, that's for sure
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anaconda bites Chuck Norris 3 weeks later anaconda dies!
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What about the 5 episodes of Chuck Norris Karate Commandos? That's when the bad guys got the message! Never mess with Chuck Norris!
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After a long time they decided to throw the atomic bomb, not Chuck Norris about Hiroshima. Why? The atomic bomb is humane!
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I have no idea why people make jokes about Chuck Norris when Steven Seagal is the one who acts like an untouchable god in his movies
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I was hoping for the flying windshield kick in this top 10, and you delivered. Thank you.
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chuck norris has a grizzly carpet in his room. its not dead. it's afraid to move
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Chuck Norris didn't feel it when he stepped on a Lego brick.
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Both Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris.
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His son is Dominic toretto
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Man these comments made my day
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Chuck nornis has a bear mat its not dead its just afraid to move
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Been watching Mr. Norris since Breaker Breaker! at the drive-in. Absolutely love the man. Thanks for this post!
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the only way to kill chuck Norris is to sacrifice your soul to the devil and get sent to year 666, then time travel to year 2001 and telefrag Norris while carrying a golden sniper rifle and at the same time headshotting him with a platinum bullet encrusted with diamonds, then when Norris collapses you must then throw his body into any active volcano right before it erupts. Norris's body will then fly into space and into the sun finally killing him once and for all.  if you fail to shoot him with the bullet you will just explode into pieces. if you don't volcano him he will respawn to kill you.
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Forget Chuck Norris! Spongebob barbecue underwater!
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When Chuck Norris took one look at Arnie, he literally shit his pants.
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How can you people say he's good looking? He look like an arrogant asshole like bitch please. Kim Jonghyun's little finger itself is more handsome than him!!
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Mike Huckabee didn't loose, he withdrew from the race.
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Well Bruce Lee fked him up.
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+Ben Banana that's even real, it was both acted, because it was a movie
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Number 3 is an outright lie, because only Bruce Lee can rip off his chest hair.
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A bullet-proof vest puts on a Chuck Norris so the vest doesn't get shot.
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Chuck Norris is a raging homo. When a turd-burglar takes one look at Chuck, they just bend over and cop it.
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I just don't get the big deal over Chuck Norris. I seriously don't..............
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To be honest, I don't know how he got so famous. I don't know what made him huge. I don't know why people are so obsessive over him. But I do know he's one hell of a man. He has a wonderful family life, he has peace in faith, he's a great role model, he's very healthy and he was one of the best martial artist and actors to boot. He's not a god among men but he is a great person if not one of the best examples of what a person can aspire to be.
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one day Chuck Norris had no chance to survive, he was surrounded by 500 heavy armored guys and was stuck inside a hotel room on 77th floor, he took all strenth from his body to the stomach and FARTED! and guess what! he killed them all :)
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Chuck Norris had a bet with Superman. The Loser had to wear his underpants over his pants.
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Once, Chuck Norris threw a party - 200 miles.
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Sometimes there just isn't enough vomit in the world.
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