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Let's Play Future Wars

by yahtzee19 • 274,601 views

Coming to you in one-big-massive-video-o-vision, Gabriel and I slog our way through the early days of one of the most notable game developers to come out of France. On the way we discuss the butt...

America's not collapsing. Declining? Definitely. Collapse would imply our government cannot maintain order over its people and power over its holdings, both things being very false.  If America continues in the direction its headed, there'll definitely be a day that America goes back down to being just a notable power, not a superpower with the capacity to blow up multiple countries. Honestly, that'd be nice. The world wouldn't be judging every move our representatives make, we wouldn't be expected to intervene in large conflicts, nor would we be criticized if we didn't. We'd be able to mind our own damned business and only poke our heads in when it was truly relevant to our nation. But for now, and likely for a while longer, America'll continue to be a major influence, for better or for worse, and you'll all just have to put up with us until we've declined far enough. Let's just hope China, should they replace us as the world superpower, learns from our mistakes and makes the right choices. They likely won't though.
+MikeyTaylorGaming  Gr8 b8 m8. R8 8/8, will cre8 deb8. 
33:30 Apparently, the Great Race of Yith from the Cthulhu Mythos do exactly that. They're an extraterrestrial or inter-dimensional race from a bad future that abduct people and perform a body swap, then live out that person's life doing something that I guess is supposed to ultimately save their own race. They then mind wipe the human before sending them back, but they eventually remember what happened and, like just about everything HP Lovecraft ever wrote, go insane.
In the game Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth you play as private eye Jack Walters whose father taken over by a Yith shortly before he conceived Jack. Jack then also later gets possessed and wakes up in an insane asylum, being absolutely sane himself. It was just the Yith personality who caused the admittance. He does end up going insane towards the end of the game, though.
I know that Gabriel Knight is an adventure game series. But I'm Forced to assume that he's saying Gabriel night. Which is when he eats a whole pizza and has a icecream sundae, maybe watches a movie, then masturbate vigorously until the sun rises used in context "hey, get over here, we're recording an other let's drown out" "I can't, it's Gabriel night and the pizzas already here"
I enjoy the fact that there's rarely music in these games, but that doesn't matter because of the great commentary. The wit is great hahaha
Calling the American version of the first Harry Potter book "Sorcerer's Stone" was J.K. Rowling's idea IIRC, because she didn't think American kids would buy a book with the word philosopher in the title. Which seems kinda shitty on her part tbh. Also, there was already an X-Men cartoon in the US called X-Men: Evolution, and they probably didn't want people to get the gum flavor confused with the cartoon. And wasn't the gum called Mutant in Australia anyway? But yeah, we do tend to have the worst box-art.
I thinks its because of the whole evolution vs creationist thing, they think people will panic and riot over the fact of evolution or anything that explains our understanding of the universe... Which could explain several things, some....
I live in america and I hate this country.
never saw this game before, bloody hard one to finish! the maze near the end is next to impossible  especially with the time limit. as if the developers didn't want you to win! and i have to say it is a bit unfair that the time keeps counting down while you exit the room at @01:02:58...great job you guys did thanks for posting!
11:01 EAT MY ASS GABE Ok, go ahead... (Paragon) Absolutely not!  (Renegade)
These videos make me never want to play an adventure game
Hahaha, all these Americans being butthurt in the comments. You guys should be like Australians, because Australians don't give a fuck.
i just realised that the american box art for heavy rain spoils who the killer is.
i'm still kinda surprised that computer games survived this period -- kinda like i'm still surprised that role playing games survived the 'GM vs. players in a deathtrap dungeon' period :3
Gabriel is obnoxiously negative about what seems to be a pretty cool game.
+Lost  I don't know that we disagree. I still like hard adventure games, and I really don't mind copy protection...  Mini-games are silly, but I'm glad they were in the classics.
Thats sorta his job 
Getting an animal high on drugs, lol... A whale tripping balls is that even medically or biologically possible?
I'm American, and listening to these two shit all over the stupidity over here is one of my favorite things about these videos. I'm just as baffled as they are at the shit that goes on over here.
compressed air? AMAZING!
This adventure game has illogic puzzles like many others, but it's worth playing it with a walk-through (or watch this video). The graphics, also the characters and their animations are great for the year it was released.
Heh. 22:00. Hey, Gabe, they found that dolphins get high by biting puffer fish just enough to get high without poisoning themselves. Then they swim up to just below the surface and stare at their reflections.
I thought that was a quote. I was really looking forward to hearing Yahtzee say that.
Dolphins rock. They even get high. What majestic creatures.
Actually the US box art for Heavy Rain is exactly the same as everywhere else Philosopher stone was changed due to something of the same title already existing in America, and the gum thing was done due to. reasons with the X-Men movie. See kids? Do you see how easy it is to do a 10 second google search and NOT look like a pair of tits on an internet video?
it is also very simple to read the internetsearch completely wrong. here's first two. 1) negative. three covers exist. american, european and japanese. you don't have to believe me, do a short internet search for different releases of heavy rain. you'll notice something. example-search of ebay   2) negative. that was a publisher decision.
May I join you over in Australia, then? 
+TheKnaveGuy Ah, you'll be right then. Just look out for Drop Bears. 
Freakin Koalas... 
I challenge that newspapers would still be used in two thousand years when they're dying out in 2014. I mean I'm surprised they also don't have cars with wheels instead of flying cars and think everyone still has a land line.
I'm an outraged American and I would post a very lengthy, snarky comment in response to their criticisms, but I can't get my arms around this enormous cheeseburger to reach the keyboard.
Lo'Ann's bra underwire could be a suspension bridge... I keep waiting for gun barrels to come out of her nipples and shoot the crughons.
The whole box art thing is linked to that capitalist mentality in the US that everything is marketable and must be viewed as such. Another example of rebranding in the US is the film Witchfinder General, which was called Conqueror Worm in the US because Vincent Price films sold better if they had an Edgar Alan Poe link to them. The Witchfinder General itself is not linked in any way to Edgar Alan Poe, so once again it was purely a marketing strategy.
Got to say though...I much prefer the American box art for this game.  The Euro box art with the trainers was absolute crap.
As an American I had never seen that Heavy Rain box art with the characters until this video
4:30 Who BUYS games on the Amiga? I got Future Wars back in 1992 along with a dozen other games from a 'company' listed in the back of the local paper.
Ok so basically the Crughons could have just not planted that bomb and humanity would not have existed since the dinosaurs being wiped out allowed mammals to take over the planet. Kinda fucked themselves on that. Also if one bomb can cause a nuclear winter, then that bomb that destroyed the first pole would have killed everyone since it can wipe out all life on Earth. This plot is bullshit.
That game might be bad mechanically, but I must say it looks pretty damn good for a game from 1989. The only other game I can think of that looks as good from 1989 is Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade(VGA version).
"I love you, but your country is collapsing and I'm going to stand over here in Australia and watch." Favorite line of the video.
I remember watching an MST3K episode with the same title. Consisted of Alien cyborgs that enslaves humans in space. They would search for escaped slaves with dinosaurs they used as blood hounds which exploded when killed so they didn't leave a corpse. Explained why fossils were so hard to find.  
Going back 200 years back in time would make the language different, but not indecipherable. One can still very well read texts written from that era. Going back further would probably render a problem though.
+Hatham Rahman +Eener1000 Well, maybe I have the social skills of an autist. Who knows? Anyway that's it. Hope you all have a nice start into the week.
I can read the ancient Norse sagas as long as the texts are translated to Latin letters.
American box art is usually just a person staring into space.
at 34:20...PC Gaming Master Race guy?
I haven't heard anyone say "Lol" in awhile... 30:32 GABE CAN SPEAK IN NON AUSTRALIAN ACCENT !!!  
yahtzhee's friend is rather closed minded
1:10:00 It's a question I ask myself everyday, Yahtzee....
As an American I must say, I am confused as fuck about why they insist on changing the names of things for no reason whatsoever.  Staying on the subject of Delphi they changed the name of "Another World" to "Out of This World".  I mean WHY? That's not even different in any meaningful way.
A year later, but I know the answer so I might as well respond. It was changed because there was (possibly still is) an American soap opera entitled Another World, so the game was marketed as Out of This World to avoid copyright issues. Personally I think Out of This World is the better title anyway.
"Come a little closer!" That sounds a little threatening. I gotta say, half the stories of the games Yahtzee and Gabe play remind me of the ones my kid brother wrote. In that they're all stupidly entertaining the first time you read them, but really they just don't make much sense at all.
I wonder if the "copy/paste" backgrounds/sprites thing is actually more a case of how limited computers were with ram in that era.  In all of these old games.  I doubt even that each screen of this game is an individual image file. Instead I bet there are some stock background pictures, and everything else is just individual sprites which are pasted into the scene via the code. Building the screens up.  Like that screen which was in the intro sequence, and again later with a tree.. they probably just threw a tree sprite over the top of the other background in the rendering process. Not a different background image file altogether. More character models = more ram used. I mean, this would have been the 640k era. Or less.  And you didn't have access to all of it, with DOS overhead.
I just feel the need to share. In Scotland, we do not say "Touse" instead of "Trousers".
Nobody else is slightly offended by them going on about all Americans being a bunch of tits? I don't go around saying all British people are uptight snobs with bad teeth because I know that's only a stereotype and that everybody's different, no matter where they're from.
I guess I was just feeling a bit salty last night, I don't really care now.
And here I thought I'd exhausted my supply of Yahtzee/Gabe videos. The nice thing about these old games is that, unlike Real Myst, I never have to worry about overwhelming nausea from looking at them. That's not snark; something about really smooth first-person visuals just gives me vertigo. Granted, Myst is almost bad enough to make me ill, regardless.
More obnoxious box art = Country collapsing.
I never put much thought into box arts before (in terms of how they differ internationally). I do remember around the time RE4 came out I had seen a lot of US vs. European vs. Japanese box art comparisons of the different RE titles and thinking that the international versions looked much better. I've looked around a bit online at some comparisons and the big difference I've noticed in US box art is that we like to clutter the frame with a lot of unnecessary images. The Future Wars and Heavy Rain comparisons in this video is a great example, but I also see it in Dark Souls, Ico, and Mass Effect too. We also don't use a lot of contrast in our box art, which makes international boxes look more dynamic and eye catching. All of ours tend to blend in to themselves and, given all the grey and brown, each other as well. To answer Yahtzee's challenge (though I doubt he checks his comments): the Crackdown box art looks better in the US, I think; a rare exception to the "more clutter" rule (the international art looks more cluttered than ours). That's all I could find, lol.
I've never seen that Heavy Rain boxart before, and I live in Texas, which is like America^2. All the Heavy Rain copies I've seen look like the international one.
The NA boxart for Sly Cooper And The Thievious Raccoonus was pretty bad, but I loved it's Greatest Hits boxart. And I think we got the best Jak II boxart. I mean seriously, look at the AU and JP boxart...and Jak 3 too...The Collection's NA boxart was stupid as well...
1:09:23 I don't know but I don't like it. Have you seen the cover of Resident Evil Outbreak? Or Ico? Or The Legend Of Dragoon? Or Drakengard 2? Wait Europe had the same boxart for that one...Or Drakengard 3? Tactful they left out your sisters that you're gonna murder, or their sex slaves which you steal. Can't wait for it to be localized.
Speaking of the tomorrow people, I just watched the pilot of the remake! :D
Gabriel your mistake was not picking out a sega dream cast game, but buying a dream cast to begin with
+DisguntledNorwegian Funny you say that, my mom has often joked about moving to Canada whenever we hear about how our fellow shallow-minded, ignorant, fuckheaded Americans fuck something up. Or just are being stupid fuckheads in general. I guess that means my mom falls into that 10% huh? Incidentally, in typing this comment I discovered that "Fuckhead" is a term accepted by my computer's dictionary. No red squiggly-line to signify it was misspelled or otherwise incorrect, not at all. What are the odds? In all honesty though, after hearing the idiotic, racist bullshit that spawned from the whole Super Bowl Coke commercial incident makes me realize once more why I don't consider myself particularly patriotic or passionate about defending my country, because in all honesty, America isn't remotely as great as some people who live here would like to believe. It's that sort of asshole behavior that proves this even more.
As a Canadian, I remember seeing that box art for Heavy Rain when I bought it. I was starting to wonder if it was even the real game since I was more familiar with the other one. Needless to say, I never really liked that box art, origami on it's own was better to me.
I'm an american and completely agree and kind of wish we had the sophistication of other countries
You guys should try Deadly Premonition. 
Set the video speed to 1.5x. :)  
I'm an american and completely agree and kind of wish we had the sophistication of other countries
Anyone else notice Jesus worked on this game?
And even he couldn't save it.
26:49 you can see the google chrome icon in the stained glass windows
If you really want to know what the first Monkey in space thought, I invite you to explore the mind of Karl Pilkington.
Wait... did this guy write Planescape: Torment?!
My god the Grumps have permeated here too :D
+El Mooo There's a video of Eric Chahi actually saying that somewhere around here.
I managed to misread the title to "furniture wars"
this must be the PC version, as the intro looked far worse graphically than I remember, either that ; or modern LCD monitors just show minor details that old CRT's blurred
I had Bell's Palsy as a kid, you prick. And yes, it's purely physical, but is does make you look like a particular Batman villain, so there's that.
+Bruce Wayne You can't censor yourself just in case you offend someone in the'd never be able to say anything because there's always someone who's had something bad happen to them.  Walking on eggshells for fear of offending people is a fools errand.  Oh shit, sorry, didn't want to offend any fools out there...
+Clan Sullivan The Penguin was my initial guess, but after looking up the effect it has, I'd say it's closer to Two Face.
I think it's funny that they talk about how stupid Americans are when they both seem to think the US invaded Iraq before we invaded Afghanistan.  There are multiple instances of them stating as much so you can't just chalk it up to a slip of the tongue either. Also, say what you want about the US, at least we don't ban and censor video games like Australia and most European nations do.
Convenient how the characters get talking as a free action during the timed section. Pretty sure the timer would have run out if they actually spoke.
I'm very tempted to have "I saw the space monkey's butt" on a t-shirt.
Do it. I order you.
I'm tempted to put "I wana see a whale trip balls" on a t-shirt.
Wait, if very small items are represented as pixels, becuase of the technology and skill Delfine had making Future Wars, why didn't Delfine (and various other developers in the 90s) make the whole adventure game fullscreen instead of having 60% of the screen being completely black?! I just don't see any sense of logic in that.
Jesus Martinez made this game. Horay!
at 48:00 talking about the future saviours being cleaners brought to mind all the fun I had with the space quest series.
this guy sounds like Ross from SteamTrain/GameGrumps but so 10x more mellow
I will always remember this age of gaming as the 'pixel hunt jamboree'
Isn't the word "ok" or "okay" used the same way and for the same reason why we use "lol"?
+Omegatiger It's an abbreviation for "Oll Korrect". Gabe was saying at 25:35 that he hates people using "lol", but we've been using the word "ok" in the same way for a pretty long time.
+Callaxes Gabe's problem is with people who say "lol", not people who use it in text form.  In text it's fine, but saying the abbreviation for 'laugh out loud' rather than just laughing is obnoxious.  Besides, saying "okay" is an actual word, so not quite the same as "lol" at all.
You guys think you're so high and mighty, don't you? In your tiny little continent/country. Well, you know what? THIS IS AMURRCA!!! WE'RE THE BEST!! starts to cry when he realizes America sucks and he needs to leave
Speaking of unfortunate purchases, I ended up with King's Quest 8 at a certain point and waited a week to return it to the big city, ending up with Half-Life in trade.
How is that unfortunate? You got Half-life!
+Omegatiger but someone else got King's Quest.
whens cruise for a corpse coming?
Oh Gabe. Just when I get almost to the very cusp of liking you a teensy bit less, what with your pathological hatred of "LOL" as a spoken word, you bash Fi's characterless droning and my faith in you is restored.
i'm american, and you're right our box art is way shittier
I will go into the woods and throw this bucket of water at the first wolf I meet. Thank you, Yahtzee! I will finally get my own direwolf, Stark-style! 
He doesn't breath,The air just refills when he Talks
You're not wrong, but I WAS referring to people who genuinely criticized it for its writing style the way they would any contemporary novel. And taking it as a piece of ancient classical prose, rather than a religious document, that's not really fair. That's all I was getting at, and I meant it in a secular way, not a religious one. OBVIOUSLY the ethical and moral aspects of it need DO need closely examined, but I was never intending to bring those up.
I find Yahtzee's voice very soothing. I think he should make audio books for kids to fall asleep to or do recordings of lullabies.
Sequel to this -- Hero's Helmet.
Don't know what's worse, the thought that they thought newspapers would still be around in 2000 years, or that fuses would still be used.
Rayman was a French game. At least the early ones; the later ones were made by Ubisoft Montreal, but Quebecois is close enough to French for my money.
I end my sentences here with "XD" because this video makes me laugh very, very hard. Which is good. Also, you made me laugh, too. XD
The name even contradicts itself. If we can shoehorn a cat into this, it will be pure distilled internet!
Another world and flashback were excellent. Glad I found you guys' page. You have great taste and humor.
The linux version of dosbox is a little more forgiving I think.
It's not you at all. I had the same impression of Gabriel, until I watched their let's play of Young Merlin. They actually have a discussion of their accents in part three.
I like the international heavy rain better than the american version. It is much more elegant.
Sir, congrats, you are smarter than the average american
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