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Emotional Vampires: How to Deal With Toxic People

by findyourcourage • 236,209 views

Margie Warrell, Bestselling Author of Find Your Courage, Master Coach & International Speaker, shares how to deal with emotional vampires - those people who "suck the life" from you. For more help...

You can always cut emotional vampires off. Why befriend or entertain a snake when you know it's going to bite and that its venom is toxic? Would you expect anything else?
Actually, some vampires are not easily cut out
I like how they talk about these "emotionally vampiric" people like they're objects.
+Pfsif Yes, but you're only reinforcing their inhumane tendencies by treating them like objects.
Its annoying how casual they are about this-its pretty serious these people can really break people down 
so many of my friends are like this and i'm so sick of them!!!
Sorry, I disagree. I've observed  more often than not that the real issue is the so called 'good' people a.k.a victims gang-up, back-bite and do all sort of nasty things and make living hell for some people, make them feel unwelcome, for no reason other than getting pleasure out of it. and then call that other person a vampire. I can understand some people being like vampires, but they are not forcing you to listen to them. You can always tell them nicely or avoid them. People are so interested in being opinion makers now a days...they spend more time talking about people. I guess it has more to do with group dynamics. Remember, Great people talk ideas, Average people talk events and Negative people talk about other people ....most of the time. (Y)
so sad isn't it..once yur victim its harder than Hell
BTW: if a person has no "emotional " feelings towards anyone.. start off with " I do not want to hear your issues, illnesses or shit ... get outta my face" think exactly what YOU as humans are saying about others? avoid humans ... makes as much sense as you saying you have any degree . amazing.
if you have these people in your life that means you yourself are toxic, It's interesting how the issue people have issues themselves, like the hosts of this show, they have the issue with the "negative people" simply because they themselves are the problem,.. sort of like the problem trying to solve the problem,
I do believe what you are observing is a reflection of yourself. We sometimes have to ask ourselves why we choose to perceive something that troubles us? What do I have active in my vibration that is attracting this into my experience? Why does it seem like I am attracting energy vampires into my life? It's just an indication that you have to clean up your own energy/vibration. It also depends on how you react. You don't have to take notice, You don't have to allow it to bother you. You also don't have to allow a bad experience throw you off your own alignment. You don't have to give anyone your power away. I don't think you have to solve anyone's problem because you really can't help anyone who can't help themselves. Just be consciously aware of what you are perceiving about yourself and clean up that energy if you need to.
+Nikka Rose I think that opposites do attract, but instead of just staying at the level of acknowledging that you are the opposite of that vampire whom you attract, it is good to put a healthy distance and health boundaries and rules around the relationship. To someone who is pathological and sociopathic in any sense, this will be likely to get him or her reacting with even greater vitriol, painting you out as the 'evil' one, but sometimes, this establishing of healthy boundaries is a priority above all else.
Got 1:36 in then stopped due to sexism.
1:08, they already have their assumptions ready. Females are butthurt.
if its a guy thay get knockt the fuck out if its a girl ignore
+Mr Armored Legend 2nd okay mr. superman, ill take on anyone in the world, mr. i go around beating people up, thats what they all say.
Most are family members and suggesting anyone cut their tie's is foolish. 
I'm tired of living with a controlling woman I want too leave and find someone else.
Yeah, let 'em know "look midge, love ya to death, but I gotta say...your constant whining and complaining is sucking the LIFE outta me" easier said than done...
Rami Kantari Shared on Google+ · 8 months ago
Emotional Vampires
One of my family members are like this, I honestly think I've become like it myself due to the constant exposure to it 
This may work for the determinedly self-conscious person but it's a sad, sad sight when kids are involved, and believe such 'needs' to be normal. 
How to deal with people by emotional robots...??? hmmm? might work.
"OK my friend, would you like this problem sorted ? Yes? Right, here's what we'll agree. You tell me all about it, yes? ... and we can discuss it and I'll tell you what I think and maybe suggest some things. Your end of the deal is simple ... you just have to take away what I say and give it some serious thought and consideration and, if it makes good sense to you, then you go with it. That's the deal. Now, if I welch on it you never have to speak to me again ... and if YOU welch on the deal I won't continue to listen to you. Is that fair? You OK with that?"
Wow gotta love the sexist host women are emotional vampires sexist egotistical dickhead men like you are as well grandpa.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..ya talkin drama. 
MITZY ROSE Shared on Google+ · 2 months ago
Women are more the victims because they gossip more and these psychopaths feed on gossip, if they are evil types, (obviously different degrees). Thats their vampires blood and then they use that to attack. Knowledge is power, knowledge of you is power to them. You will find that they are asking questions all the time and listerning to you, well thats their ammunition, their life blood, to either gossip or slander you with others or use as a weapon against you if you dont behave as they want. Its about control and power, thats their goal. So think before you gossip.
I think they make a good point about letting somone know they are being emotionally draining. As a person that has had their fair share of things to feel upset about, not to mention being brought up a dysfunctional environment, you lose or never gain a healthy way to communicate with others. It was finally understanding how it makes others feel that made me much more conscientious, not to mention feeling better myself.
American women are worthless whores. Find a woman from another culture whose women know how to respect men and were brought up to understand respect is a two-way street.
And just what exactly is your idea, of how women should show respect toward men?! I am an American woman, and I was taught to have respect for others in general... not just MEN... but everyone!!! And I resent the fact that, you can so arrogantly suggest that American women are worthless whores... because I know I am not worthless, and I am also not a whore!
I strongly believe you can't help anyone who can't help themselves. I completely agree with this discussion overall because this is very relatable to my own personal experiences. Anyone has a right to protect their own well-being if they know they are being drained by someone who has toxic energy. I also believe people with a lot of toxic energy, not willing to change, will eventually destroy themselves. They have to recognize that they are creating this victim mentality in their own minds and they have the power to heal themselves. They can learn to accept responsibility for how they feel and take their power back so they can move on to a better path for themselves free from anger, resentment or any negative emotion. There is hope if they are willing to believe it!
Dump on me no i gonna dump right on her chest
Sociopaths/Narcissist/Psychopaths/Passive Aggressives are life land mines and vampires. These vampires are about 10 percent of the population.
Incidentally I'd done a scene some time back, on my character moving on STEADILY after a bad r/s, and knowing he's gonna be BETTER OFF without her. Or if you're a girl, you can be better off w/o him. I think that dramatic sequence will be motivational to those looking to move on. Enjoy, people.  Act: RELATIONSHIPS - You make me Wiser, Stronger as I LEAVE. "Take control." [Actor Kris Mavericko]
Its about Salem avenue Dayton Ohio
I agree you should tell them to stop harrassing you with their problems..l disagree that you should be careful about their feelings, they aren't worried about your feelings of having to hear their bullshit all day so why should you worry about theirs
My mom is kind of like this, constantly complains to me about her relationship with my dad, but dose not want to put any effort to change it, or about how my brother is a man child but dose not want to lay down the law. 
those people who "suck the life" from you. This is an issue that is MUCH bigger than it FIRST APPEARS......for example, let's suppose that someone as important as a 'president' were capable of SUCKING LIFE. 'We' would not be capable of confirming or denying the veracity of  my statement   UNLESS someone with a title as VIP as  'President' were able to get away with doing things no other 'President' got away with;  Including being caught red handed telling bold faced lies.  Nixon Watergate- FORCED TO RESIGN OR BE IMPEACHED. Clinton almost got his HEAD taken off for a blow job.......... Obama............................... case closed.
This sounds like an account of feminism. Professional victim hood.
Yea I seem to be a target for these types of people. Because I'm a strong quiet type and a good listener. But I noticed I started getting sick of it when it was happening way too often, then I decided to just "pretend" I'm listening and not even responding. Just have a blank look on your face and ignore them. Sometimes I'll straight call them out on it and tell them to stop telling me their problems because they just cry and never do anything about it themselves, and there's no use for me to give them advise if they won't take the advise, it's a waste of time. Sometimes I just laugh and make fun of them for acting like helpless pussies if they are males, this will really piss them off and make them explode, but hey you get what you give, if they wanna piss me off then they better be prepared to take it themselves, this is actually the sure fire way to never ever talk to them again.
I got caught in a toxic firendship.  Lost 25 yrs of my life.  Tried to be there for her when she needed someone to talk to.  When I needed someone, she was not there.  Hardest decision I made was to drop her like a hot potato.  I still have contact through facebook, and its the only way I can deal with her.  Cannot/ will not talk to her face to face, and I don't want to see her inperson.  Too painful.  She is also self-absorbed,self centered.  I feel pity for her.  The sad thing is it took her 7 yrs to realize the firend ship is over done with.  Ever since I don't allow people too close to me now.
my friend told me her husband was abusive, i said break it off, dump his ass, well she didnt and continues to make excuses why he is such a wonderful man, i simply dont bother about that no more
F#ck they ugly crazy ass! Lol
Shut up Keisha Harris, that's mean
I find that i have to find problems to compete with my friend, otherwise i have no problems lol. i do have problems i just solve them or dont talk about them
 I should also add though, psychopaths do tend to play the victim and pretend to be a victim to garner pity... This is a little different, their problems are never genuine and it's always one sided, and actually intended to suck your emotional energy... You'll know this by if it's completely one sided and the person shows no concern for you whatsoever. You should beware of these emotional vampires... But by all means don't lose your compassion and empathy for your true friends. just be wary and wiser.
 There's the saying misery loves company, but that company doesn't necessarily have to be miserable, sometimes people just need encouragement. But if someone is determined to be stuck in a problem, there's only so much one person can do, and honestly... When it come down to it, there's only so much human beings can actually (or are willing to for that matter) do for each other. Better to keep your personal shit to yourself. Not to mention there are these creatures called psychopaths who are flat and void, and view any genuine emotion as a sign of weakness to be stamped out and destroyed, they're born this way and there is no fixing them.
I'm sure these women have never complained about anything in their life, cause God forbid.
This video is about "emotional vampires" and "toxic people". There is a concept here. NOT everyone will stop complaining once they feel listened to. It is not something isolated or specific, is recurring behavior. In this case, consciously or unconsciously, they drain people and this is not healthy. We need to set boundaries, with empathy and civility.
Do not feel bad. I know what you are going through, my mother was the same. She favored all my older siblings, and left me to fend for myself. You need to focus on your future and build for a strong one. No matter how bad things get, keep working towards the future. Your only way out is to succeed and leave home as soon as you are able to and don't look back. You cannot change your mother, but you can change your life~
Great topic. Thanks for sharing.
I'm with you most of the way, but there are some seriously messed up people out there who, no matter what, use complaining as a crutch to get attention. They're in a definite minority, thankfully. They'd rather get negative attention than no attention at all. Like what seventhsheaven talks about below.
Don't know if I've forgotten anything. That last one (# 5) is the most important one, that everyone seems to forget about. Rule of thumb: Unless you are perfect and flawless, don't be judgmental. Wow. That felt good. I'm guessing nobody will read this, which is funny. I rambled too long. I think this is the second time this year I've done one of these posts.
I agree with Jeorney, although there are some emotionally draining people out there, labeling them "emotional vampires' seems a little immature and unscholarly. It is so typical for media to categorize human beings into labels and stereotypes. The academic truth is that people suffer from emotional wounds and have different ways of coping. The best we can do is recognize these symptoms, how to cope with them and help people heal. Some ppl wont heal or may be too draining, thats when you run!
this sounds like a recipe for bullying people suffering from depression. with depression you are unable to see the good side of things only the negative, that is part of being depressed. when you are depressed you need the support of others and I have witnessed people being cut off or bullied by others who can't be bothered to listen. yes some people love to whine but please be very aware that some people really do need to talk and be heard. please be caring and think before you ignore someone
Is it me or is the female host behaving like a toxic person?
Emotional and energy vampires are people who sap other people of time, money, energy - it has nothing to do with the satanic bible, which I couldn't possibly be influenced by given that I've never even seen a copy, let alone read it.
i would call these ppl. psychopaths
Ummmm... and she is still your partner?!? I really hope not. If so, wow! Just wow.
It looks to me that 40-s 50-s and 60-s, as they started to realise some Psychological mechanisms and principles- they in fact realised that Narcissists are VERY Good at persuasion and entanglement of the victim AND if they are so good - why don't we actually just study what they do and apply those tactics in the Advertising and Promotion of our PRODUCTS(*at some point People become PRODUCTS/GOODS at the market as well) so they all started to copy sick methods, because they are so effective !
@LALABAI1 I agree with you. What happened to caring for other people? I think it depends on the person complaining, but they may have a life that is as difficult as they say. Where is the genuine empathy we should show each other.
i understand some people are downers but also you can't just dismiss issues in society that people have come across... you know.. like medical malpractice
what you are saying is very superficial/wrong description : just read a book "Emotional Vampires" from dr.Bernstein and you will see that Vampires are PREDATORY PEOPLE that present them selves totally opposite from what you portray here. They are Charming, Attractive, Manipulative, etc... etc... Your " Well/Nice/Terrific/Marvelous-XY-SOCIETY" is frustrated with people who are going through a Grieving process or similar PAINFUL FEELINGS-because you are so"busy" with maintenance of your Farce.
Indeed, be the change you want to see in others. Good advise. And let yourself become more peaceful inside too. Then dealing with "vampires" can come from a place of power, rather than fear.
that you prepare a protection strategy- the vampire will be angry with you because you cut off their emotional food-YOU! Love and light- any suggestions of help greatly appreciated. Thanks.
I really thought the title means how to deal with TOXIC people...
Yeah sure tv hosts it's men that are emotional vampires. SURE THING.
when some body falls, why not help them out? if not you can walk away, but if you feel that bad, about what they say? how do you think they deal with it 24.7, these 3 are idiots, who have no sense of compassion and probably are to blessed to give a fuck,
Be sure to be fake and never talk about your problems! We all need fair weather friends.
Also, the old guy labeling women as "victims' to human apathy is hilariously making these women look stupid. He is just fueling the notion that women are typically weaker in society. I could not help but laugh at how the guy just totally made them both look like idiots without them realizing it.
I'm torn between thinking she is for real or if this is like onion news, because some of her way of speaking sounds right but ... I dont know. I think this is a very prejudice inducing video.
Just so I am "listening" this show tomorrow my "emotional vampires" will bring another negative thought in their mind ... how do man work? they commit heinous crimes day and night hide them from public when another man is caught in a similar situation they bring them down oh look so and so is doing that just to make themselves look good - trust me these days man are ten times worse than women in and out they are envious, lying, cheat and find others faults to make themselves look good.
the tv host woman was annoying me this entire video lol
I have a good friend in college she's supportive and all but everytime she opens her mouth .Shes all this miss Negative saying that Im good in every subject coz ive been shifting from one course to another (but really i shift courses because |I don't take education seriously that time).So I invited her to have a lunch and lemon tea , told her that "friend please dont be negative,i care about you,Im a positive person.Then on she drifted away from me./now shes just an acquaintance.Im so relieved
Interesting...infinite perspectives on this. Not unlike the seemingly endless facets of light striking a prism. I know quite a few people who try and help everyone, and usually end up overwhelmed themselves. Probably what scared the survivors of the Titanic off going back. Being swamped. However, being the only one high and dry in your very own 'life boat' can be a pretty lonely existence.
I live with one of those and telling them constantly, does not work. So I wear and eat garlic. That works great.
@ bobby; I know exactly what you mean. Ive lost weight and living a healthy lifestyle as well. The fat ones have now turned on me as well for this. I have to work with these people. Its the men and women who are jealous of me. What can we do about it???
I believe they can only attack you if YOU allow them. Simply meditate on cutting the ties from them to you. As it is said, our thought bring everything to us. Dont worry about it any more. Light and love
People look to others that they see have good coping skills and listening skills when they feel lost and unable to find relief and a solution. I know there have been times that I feel honored and glad to help a friend that needs my help and I can do that for them. But you do need to know your limits if you are not able to help them. Parents especially should be there for their kids as much as they can and reassure them that they are loved and help them find coping skills and support.
? These comment boxes are here for a reason-for writing comments. So I'm not sure what you're getting at.
Count yourself lucky for you have not encountered a emotional Vampire, sure people have difficulties and problems and need to sound off, but not all of the time, if its not one thing its something else but there is always something and that is constant!
What drug are they on. Helping people does take effort, Recognize when you need to re-direct people to get the help they need, I am not an expert. "Problems become as large as we alow space for them", time on your hands, your problems will seem dispraportionate to others.
Good advice. It just seems hard to tell them they are wrong. Or that they are annoying to be around. Or that they are giving of toxic, suffocating vibes. I think this is a chronic disease prevalent today. People don't know how to create happy lives, they're hearts and world is heavy. They need to realize that they cannot have their pie and eat it, at least in this case. Their actual behavior/ thinking/ vibrational creation is not fully immersed into the world. They're hiding parts of themselves.
Ohh no, parents are "indoctrinating" young girls to be nice and empathetic. There are plenty of 'nice' people and it is kind of sick how you think they are therefore weak.
lol, I can laugh about my experience now... it came about when my sister said to me, "Can you get off your soap box?, someone else wants to use it". Harsh, but it worked. Made me realise that I was miserable inside and out. I changed and no I dont need the soap box any more.
i'm a debbie downer i'll whine you out ill turn a bright sunshiny day into a thunderstorm. i just dont talk at work. i keep my lips locked tight until im pissed off
Once again, this is the kind of cheap tv talk worth for nothing. What are they laughing at so much ?....(!)
Maybe it is just me, but it seems most of the folks here on Youtube offering advice on how to deal with difficult people are Australian. Just click on some of the other videos, and you'll probably see what I mean. I am starting to wonder, LOL
Good point. How to find a place like this is another thing. Maybe GNC ? I dont even want to be around fat people.
i can rlate to what man said about empathy i was avery empathic pure person until a toxic person took that qualty from me. misery love company.ther are some people who just take life and joy out of peple. some people are also programed to pruject this on others and when they are not toxic. and also c ontradict themselves looking for empath. their own situations which is called narcisism. toxic people cal also cause that to happen. its emotional damage like vampire effect
This is a great Video, Thank You so much for sharing it. I find myself being a "complainer"... But these tips along with a supportive family and friends help keep it in check.
Accept & NOT act is an Act of coward's rejection of Personal RESPONSIBILITY! Imagine if You live in a NAZI-era and you tell me - just accept and don't educate(fight) a Trend. EVERY Human being have a RESPONSIBILITY to ACT to put an effort to change the world for the better of our children. Conscientious is NOT Cristina related Trait. Inquisition and WW2 Europe are some of the major examples.. or Latin America after WW2(*neither was Left oriented Ideology). Conscientious is personal elusive.
People expressing problems seldom want advice, but listeners (esp. men) often make assume this & it's why men & women can get frustrated with each other when they converse. Sometimes people just need to talk & know someone cares. Better: Ask questions that help the complainer come up with their own solution. When someone "advises" & gives unsolicited "solutions" they put themselves in a one-up position that comes off as arrogance & insensitivity, esp if person w a problem hasn't sought advice.
2.Of course I speak in general sense ... there are always good people who get mixed up with these cancerous cells and create chaos in society. Tip of advice do not judge someone based on suspicion, judge them if you have actually witnessed them from your own very own eyes.
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