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  • Cool Patrol - NSP

    2,827,423 views 1 month ago
    Buy the song here: https://itunes.apple.com/us...

    Written by Ninja Sex Party (Dan Avidan and Brian Wecht)
    Performed by Ninja Sex Party and TWRP

    Starring:
    Jacksepticeye as The Kid
    Markiplier as Cool Patrol Leader
    Ryan Magee as Verified Cool Patrol Member
    Matt Wilson as Unverified Cool Patrol Member
    Jordan McQuiston, Diamond Walker, and Hunter Collins as Roller Dancers
    Zan Alda as Cow
    Barry Kramer as Camel
    Kaden Vu and Eric Radic as Bullies
    Whit Kunschik, Milloux, and Lindsey Jennings as Roller Ladies
    Lala Araki, Jordan Irby, Jeffrey Minter, Viktoria Ershova, Jonathan Sapp, Christina Correa, Kassandra Corea, Pamela Horton, Vernon Shaw, Kyle Crosby, and Daniel Stonem Ali, Meredith Quail, and Amy as Roller Rink Patrons

    Director: Sean Barrett
    Editor: Sean Barrett
    Producer: Svetlana Dekic
    Production Supervisor: Sarah Williams
    Director of Photography: Gordon Yould
    Additional Post-Production: Matt Watson
    1st AC: Brooks Burgoon
    2nd AC: Jeffrey Ball
    Steadicam Operator: Bryant Swanstrom
    Gaffer: Seth Naugle
    Key Grip: Conrad Wrobel
    Media Manager: Andrew Fontanelle
    Makeup: Taja Davis
    Wardrobe: Lici Koch
    NSP Costumes: Kristen Carr
    Art Department: Kati Schwartz
    Production Assistants: Tasha Anderson, Rory Ross
    Manager: Brent Lilley

    Lyrics:

    Yo Ninja Brian, you see that high schooler over there getting pushed around? This looks like a job for the Cool Patrol!

    Hey Kid! (Yo!) You're getting picked on in school
    The other boys! (Huh!)! They say you just ain't cool
    Well that's bullshit! (Yeah!!) We're gonna teach you the rules
    Those motherfuckers ain't gonna bother you no more

    We are the bad boys (Oh!) from the tough side of town
    We are the Cool Patrol (Woo!) we'll turn your life around
    Those bullies (AW SHIT) their ass is done for now
    We're gonna show you how! So fuckin' listen y'all! First…

    You put your hands in the air
    And you jump off the ground
    And then you take that funky butt and you shake it all around
    And lightly jog in place and then crank it up to a prance
    This is the cool patrol dance

    Now put your hands in your pockets
    And take them right back out
    Then spin around in a circle and make an animal sound (moo)
    Then glide into the sprinkler like you're gonna water the plants
    This is the cool patrol dance

    Whee!

    Motherfuckin' bullies better watch their ass
    You're sending all them shits a message there's a new king in class
    When they see you they're gonna freak out and piss their pants
    THEY ARE YOUR BITCHES! THEY ARE YOUR BITCHES BECAUSE...

    You put your hands in the air
    And then stick out your rear end
    And then you wiggle it real hard and you hug your closest friend
    And then you wildly remove your clothes and tearaway pants
    This is the cool patrol dance

    Now rub the peanut butter on you
    From your head to your feet
    And cover up your nudity with different cheeses and meats
    Then slap a camel because this could be your only chance
    This is the cool patrol dance

    Cool Break!

    *synth solo*

    You put your hands in the air
    And grab a bird from the sky
    And eat it whole so that you may absorb its power of flight
    Now you can also dive bomb fish because your vision's enhanced
    This is the cool patrol dance

    You're basically a superhero now
    So throw some cars
    Then rub your magnum thighs together and set fire to Mars
    Now harness all your sexy fury in a victory stance
    This is the cool patrol dance! Show less
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